Be careful with those sprays

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Get rid of that really annoying one called "The Tick..." https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/the_tick/s01/e01

Real works of art.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

And yet after I reached 40 years of age the younger women stopped stalking me....

Who feels lucky?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Dogs always submit to an alpha so no problem for me...

I have been trying to tell Y'll

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

I am fluent in two languages.... English and bad English...

My appetite has improved lately, I am so happy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Barbie-Q?...

Asking for a friend? Nah, I just want to use it myself.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

All the shitshows going on in Conservaworld right now are described by this word to perfection....

Damn computer...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2023:

Looks like he is proving he is stupid... Most humans are...

A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2023:

At which point his teacher asked him on a date....

She is not going to change her mind.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2023:

Nice ankle bracelet LMAO....

This would break his heart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

We know Putin and Trump are crying over this...

Mom knows best

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Sounds like mom is going to be a grandmother before she is 30....

My kinda guy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

I know people hate me deep down in their guts and it makes me very happy....

Hey Barney, I’ve got an idea. Hold my beer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

I have lived that life.... If I ever go to Florida on vacation I am going to need a fake ID....

I haven't been to the beach in a long time, but I hear things.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Why in my mind am I hearing banjo music in the background when I see that picture? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDlZLsJJkVA=HDFilmTributes

A not-so-serious business in Washington

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Just watch and wait until they vote themselves a pay raise again this year....

Here is what happened in a nutshell

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

You forgot the part about the funding and training of Hamas by the Russian Union, the DRNK and Iranian supplied weapons... Oh and least we forget Trumps involvement in cutting security and monitoring of activities in that region...

You're right, O Wise One!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Way more than some...

The wishing well works for India's Modi

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

If I knew of one that worked that well I would be headed there now with a big fucking bag of quarters....

I'll take 2 please, one for now and one to go...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Just be careful you don't get the crabs....

That's too much honesty

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2023:

Neither does his wife....

Verrrry funny, Ms. Bar Owner. Cleaning out some of my backlog from July.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2023:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Bacon....

A poor quality bullet

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2023:

No worries it is just a head wound nothing up there to damage...

You want a lot of action? See Steven Segal as John Wick.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2mU6USTBRE=alyankovicVEVO

I have been through them myself

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

Being 65 and in my second childhood now I am forced to disagree...

Suddenly, you begin to see things clearly.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

Not helping him much are they?...

Follow me for more recipes...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

Are those athlete's feet?....

Be yourself.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

If being myself drives someone away all I can say is good riddance to bad rubbish... People tend to annoy me.

Good Morning!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 9, 2023:

Where can I get that window sticker in bulk? There are a lot of jerks in the world and it would be fun putting those on their cars at night...

“ I ll see what I can do “ Priceless way to let someone know that “ ain’t happening ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Nah that is his mama's house.... She made him dig his own basement room.

I want my tears back !!!😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Ahhh the old blunt on a cunt....

Some pain, some fun .... coming soon

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Well fuck me to beers....

I think they mean it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

20 pounds of thermite solves the problem nicely....

They look vaguely Kryptonian to me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Fuck off Timmy...

Yesterday once more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2023:

And one is a Karen....

Enjoy your fucking meal

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2023:

And I want my steak so rare it moos like a motherfucker when I stab it with the fucking knife....

LOL…..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2023:

So he is an illegal alien that explains a lot....

Ever wondered why that is?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2023:

All those plastic micro-beads in the shampoos and conditioners....

Trump said to African Americans - "What you've got to lose?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2023:

This is the same New York Times that keeps trying to act like Fox?

ET came back to Earth with someone. Missed it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

The Honeymooners....

Keith has been around for a while.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Inverted universe... Parallel is side by side unless they are reversed in which case they would be mirror....

It is scaring the hell out of him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Probably made his dick hard...

If he doesn't win this time, he will try Broadway

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Any self respecting cat would be deeply insulted...

A tough job interview

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Simple enough to do in your head if you break it down.... 3 X 37 = 111 4 X 111 = 444 therefore 12 X 37 = 444 Why can't people do simple math?...

I want to be fully educated on this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

"I forgive you" "It's not your fault" "What is this number on your phone?" "I am not talking to you right now" "My mother is coming over for a visit" And you know a hitman is on the way and she wants an alibi when she says... "I am going out with the girls tonight" or "I am going to my mother's house for the weekend..."

Who's going to tell him? Help him out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Sounds like a pain in the ass to me...

The prison edition

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

I think he just has them spray tan his hair too...

All too familiar

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Just sad isn't it?... When are they going to invent a self-cleaning vacuum cleaner?...

This is the very conundrum that first made me question the horseshit of catholicism back when I was ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Actually confession originated in order to control the ruling classes by means of extortion....

She is a fighter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Hotels call on plus sized influencer to lose 100 pounds instead because their hall and doorways are built to code and allow movement of furniture like king sized beds and sofas as it is....

This computer stuff is hard

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Plug in your keyboard and problem solved...

Amazingly, he argued that crime in Philadelphia wasn’t that bad and was being overly exaggerated ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

More crime in Republican controlled states than democratic controlled ones.... https://www.thirdway.org/report/the-two-decade-red-state-murder-problem

Often some things aren't obvious to some

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

What a pity the porn industry could have a ... er... field day there....

Ugh!!! Is it Friday yet?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Re #1: Your are really Wednesday Addams.... #2 I used to do that in the Crotch all the time it was the only way I could afford to get drunk on what the military paid me...

I am in Texas but why I don't hunt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

The meme might be funny but real life deer hunting can be even funnier.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ut0KUHO9E=AnimalPlanet

I think monogamy is so 1800s.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Teach him to marry a bi-sexual woman next time and be willing to share...

I am in Texas but why I don't hunt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

probably enjoying the bone even more....

Why we should never trust profile photos.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

More likely some guy on a laptop in India....

Oh, bugger...!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Stab braking can be fun when done properly....

I hope GICO will cover this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Lost the joust I see.... Knocked that horse power off....

A perfect analogy of apathetic people.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

And then back to Mel Gibbon again when the government is putting together aid packages for areas severely damaged areas after a natural disaster...

Moses with an iPhone.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

If smart phones had existed back then religion would not exist because nobody would believe it without a picture proving it....

Protect while you can

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Been there....

Why I avoid unknown exits

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Georgia?...

Old does not mean no fun

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Brought to you by "Hold ma beer an watch dis..."

It is a serious accusation

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Well Motherfucker...

Can't we all get along...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

And at the rate conservatives consume porn you would think this would teach them something....

Is it still Sunday?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

"Sorry no stud found..."

You've got to start somewhere

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Catholics and televangelists alone would pay for pretty much all of it...

Please drink responsibly, Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Have her give the girl friend a kiss too....

This question has not been answered

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Same question could be asked of Fundamentalist Mormons and Christians....

I too have no money although I dream a lot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

In this day and age that Walmart Greeter who is also collecting Social Security is a Sugar Daddy compared to what guys her own age are making....

She likes it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

And the ones that are often are nothing more than an expensive pain in the ass....

It is here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Now known as "6 Dollar General..."

Ive always called it "frog butt" 🐸

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

I call it "lay off the fast food and get some exercise"...

I had no idea, we learn every day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Takes after Fester I see....

Beware of visiting Kentucky

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

That is what happens when they drink the wine and eat the wafer....

Welcome to Texas dating, God is always 1.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

She lost me at "I'm a Christian...."

Looks the same...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Me doing it cheaper.... Now my house looks like a fucking UFO!... But I can heat the whole 1100 square foot house with a 750 watt thermostatic space heater...

A perspective

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2023:

Awwww shit...

Dasher organizes a response to the government shutdown.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

No wonder Mary is the basis of a Paternalistic religion that hates women....

The reverse is true. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

Far too often....

The Indian version

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

Wait until the Russians get 50 Rubles going.....

Coming soon. I heard it's hot.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

Pixar goes porn.... I knew they weren't doing so well lately butt....

He loves backpacking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

As long as he isn't the one doing the work I see.... No wonder so many people prefer those yappy little mutts.

This showed up on my Facebook. lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

Truth in labeling laws followed exactly...

A meme with feet!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

If I had seen that guy with the chipper I would have yelled "Use your fucking head moron...." Just to see if he would.

Remember the story?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

How much do you think he got for that little piggy?....

Inanimate things have gender. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2023:

Ships are female because they are always going to different ports to unload and pick up stuff as well as costing a small fortune to own one when you have very little real control over her....

Is there a bag limit?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2023:

I love the hunt for Jebus flier but they should have used crossed nail guns instead....

More welcome than usual

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

I should put that on my sister's porch in the middle of the night.... All the stress she put in my life the last 4 years it would be fun listening to her screaming cuss words at 7AM....

A picture is worth.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

White construction worker in Florida....

Good thing he didn’t come home while she was having sausage.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

I want to know how the dog rubbed that lamp....

It’s true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

Stupid nothing in this meme says he is vegan except the bigot who made it...

Give it a try.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

Color of the slop dripping out, One small flame missing and the arrangement of the sesame seeds on the top bun.... Took me about 5 seconds how about something hard next time...

Who could resist that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

*Cues stripper music....*

Newton’s Prime law of motion.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

Batman's worst enemy...

I need a second opinion...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

Why you should never let your cousin Leroy work on your car....

What a lazy Sunday!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2023:

I could see you stabbing people with squirrels... Hell you wouldn't even need to be camping to do it either.

Lather up those dishes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2023:

I love my Ryobi + one framing nail gun.... Come to me Jebus!...

Had to work today!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2023:

#5 was me all the time except when I just said "fuck this shit I quit..." For some reason they always begged me to come back but I learned the hard way that they never changed and I could always find or create something better.