It is scaring the hell out of him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Probably made his dick hard...

If he doesn't win this time, he will try Broadway

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Any self respecting cat would be deeply insulted...

A tough job interview

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Simple enough to do in your head if you break it down.... 3 X 37 = 111 4 X 111 = 444 therefore 12 X 37 = 444 Why can't people do simple math?...

I want to be fully educated on this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

"I forgive you" "It's not your fault" "What is this number on your phone?" "I am not talking to you right now" "My mother is coming over for a visit" And you know a hitman is on the way and she wants an alibi when she says... "I am going out with the girls tonight" or "I am going to my mother's house for the weekend..."

Who's going to tell him? Help him out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Sounds like a pain in the ass to me...

The prison edition

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

I think he just has them spray tan his hair too...

All too familiar

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Just sad isn't it?... When are they going to invent a self-cleaning vacuum cleaner?...

This is the very conundrum that first made me question the horseshit of catholicism back when I was ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Actually confession originated in order to control the ruling classes by means of extortion....

She is a fighter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Hotels call on plus sized influencer to lose 100 pounds instead because their hall and doorways are built to code and allow movement of furniture like king sized beds and sofas as it is....

This computer stuff is hard

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

Plug in your keyboard and problem solved...

Amazingly, he argued that crime in Philadelphia wasn’t that bad and was being overly exaggerated ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2023:

More crime in Republican controlled states than democratic controlled ones.... https://www.thirdway.org/report/the-two-decade-red-state-murder-problem

Often some things aren't obvious to some

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

What a pity the porn industry could have a ... er... field day there....

Ugh!!! Is it Friday yet?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Re #1: Your are really Wednesday Addams.... #2 I used to do that in the Crotch all the time it was the only way I could afford to get drunk on what the military paid me...

I am in Texas but why I don't hunt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

The meme might be funny but real life deer hunting can be even funnier.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ut0KUHO9E=AnimalPlanet

I think monogamy is so 1800s.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Teach him to marry a bi-sexual woman next time and be willing to share...

I am in Texas but why I don't hunt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

probably enjoying the bone even more....

Why we should never trust profile photos.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

More likely some guy on a laptop in India....

Oh, bugger...!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Stab braking can be fun when done properly....

I hope GICO will cover this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2023:

Lost the joust I see.... Knocked that horse power off....

A perfect analogy of apathetic people.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

And then back to Mel Gibbon again when the government is putting together aid packages for areas severely damaged areas after a natural disaster...

Moses with an iPhone.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

If smart phones had existed back then religion would not exist because nobody would believe it without a picture proving it....

Protect while you can

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Been there....

Why I avoid unknown exits

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Georgia?...

Old does not mean no fun

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Brought to you by "Hold ma beer an watch dis..."

It is a serious accusation

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

Well Motherfucker...

Can't we all get along...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

And at the rate conservatives consume porn you would think this would teach them something....

Is it still Sunday?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2023:

"Sorry no stud found..."

You've got to start somewhere

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Catholics and televangelists alone would pay for pretty much all of it...

Please drink responsibly, Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Have her give the girl friend a kiss too....

This question has not been answered

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Same question could be asked of Fundamentalist Mormons and Christians....

I too have no money although I dream a lot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

In this day and age that Walmart Greeter who is also collecting Social Security is a Sugar Daddy compared to what guys her own age are making....

She likes it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

And the ones that are often are nothing more than an expensive pain in the ass....

It is here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Now known as "6 Dollar General..."

Ive always called it "frog butt" 🐸

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

I call it "lay off the fast food and get some exercise"...

I had no idea, we learn every day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Takes after Fester I see....

Beware of visiting Kentucky

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

That is what happens when they drink the wine and eat the wafer....

Welcome to Texas dating, God is always 1.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

She lost me at "I'm a Christian...."

Looks the same...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2023:

Me doing it cheaper.... Now my house looks like a fucking UFO!... But I can heat the whole 1100 square foot house with a 750 watt thermostatic space heater...

A perspective

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2023:

Awwww shit...

Dasher organizes a response to the government shutdown.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

No wonder Mary is the basis of a Paternalistic religion that hates women....

The reverse is true. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

Far too often....

The Indian version

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

Wait until the Russians get 50 Rubles going.....

Coming soon. I heard it's hot.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2023:

Pixar goes porn.... I knew they weren't doing so well lately butt....

He loves backpacking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

As long as he isn't the one doing the work I see.... No wonder so many people prefer those yappy little mutts.

This showed up on my Facebook. lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

Truth in labeling laws followed exactly...

A meme with feet!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

If I had seen that guy with the chipper I would have yelled "Use your fucking head moron...." Just to see if he would.

Remember the story?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2023:

How much do you think he got for that little piggy?....

Inanimate things have gender. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2023:

Ships are female because they are always going to different ports to unload and pick up stuff as well as costing a small fortune to own one when you have very little real control over her....

Is there a bag limit?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2023:

I love the hunt for Jebus flier but they should have used crossed nail guns instead....

More welcome than usual

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

I should put that on my sister's porch in the middle of the night.... All the stress she put in my life the last 4 years it would be fun listening to her screaming cuss words at 7AM....

A picture is worth.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

White construction worker in Florida....

Good thing he didn’t come home while she was having sausage.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

I want to know how the dog rubbed that lamp....

It’s true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2023:

Stupid nothing in this meme says he is vegan except the bigot who made it...

Give it a try.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

Color of the slop dripping out, One small flame missing and the arrangement of the sesame seeds on the top bun.... Took me about 5 seconds how about something hard next time...

Who could resist that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

*Cues stripper music....*

Newton’s Prime law of motion.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

Batman's worst enemy...

I need a second opinion...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2023:

Why you should never let your cousin Leroy work on your car....

What a lazy Sunday!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2023:

I could see you stabbing people with squirrels... Hell you wouldn't even need to be camping to do it either.

Lather up those dishes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2023:

I love my Ryobi + one framing nail gun.... Come to me Jebus!...

Had to work today!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2023:

#5 was me all the time except when I just said "fuck this shit I quit..." For some reason they always begged me to come back but I learned the hard way that they never changed and I could always find or create something better.

Well done!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2023:

I take a byte out of that....

Happy Saturday!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2023:

Did you hack my phone and get that picture of my cat Panther?....

That awkward moment...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2023:

I always figured those two had something going on....

Meanwhile somewhere in America's South....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

So I am wondering how things are going for them when they live 50 miles from the nearest super Walmart that put all the local grocery stores out of business....

Where are these artists made?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

Betting he dropped out of the 5th grade to get a head start in the job market and is self trained...

Haven't tried this since school days

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

You need a longer barrel to make that shot...

Trying something new.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

I would love to see how this goes over in Floraduh....

Mr. Miyagi, be nice.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

Bikini wax off?....

Maybe he is distracted by no clothes?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

I used to have a friend that pretended to be Gay because the girls would all try to convert him....

This pandemic is stressing people out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

Which one of the 30+ new variants would that be?...

Somewhere out there...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

Can you even get laid looking like that?....

It's a great catch in Texas.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

Better check out that 400 acres first there might not be anything to hunt because nothing can live there...

History is witness

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

Unfortunately far too many women think this way...

If alligators can evolve the ability to read and write, then I still hold out that MAYBE Floridians ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

I kind of doubt they are capable...

Is it Friday yet?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2023:

She sucks the meat right off the bone....

I have no doubt about that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

A fat bird is a tender bird....

Don't wander around, don't press a wrong door bell, don't live in Texas. It's a gun crazy state.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

Texans are so brave until somebody shoots back...

It will taste different

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

And here BarS brand is on sale right now.... Thanks a lot .

Maybe the next exit...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

Trump's new place in Georgia... No golf course there motherfucker...

A good man went to war and another became a priest. The 3rd next door is gay.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

Until she is like a fine vinegar....

Go enjoy the nature

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

Ahhhh the great outdoors in Texas...

Just so you know...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2023:

Thanks for making my night...

Dress like the aunt this Halloween

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

Ha they are usually so broke they dress like a bum...

Musk is inviting volunteers to test brain implants

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

I liked what Larry David said to the bastard.... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/9/19/2194201/-Larry-David-to-Elon-Musk-Do-you-just-want-to-murder-kids-at-school?detail=emaildkre=DKRE=email

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

It's beginning to look a lot like Florida....

You'll find if you have a dirty mind.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

Well someone has a mouthful...

Hello, is it me? You can see the pain in my eyes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

Worst punishment ever...

For the guest room downstairs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

That will scare the shit out of someone...

I am beginning to find out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

The other night I had to pick up an old man who had fallen in the street and call the paramedics for him. I found out he was 2 years younger than I am so I think I will stay with delusional as long as I can thanks...

Selective hearing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHbvLOtwaOs=DannyTT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cVlTeIATBs=loki69er

I just found out that I have messages but I can't respond!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2023:

Yeah we get those guys with loud exhausts trying to pretend they are race car drivers.... Fucking pathetic tiny dicked assholes that stall out at intersections because their car is a piece of crap.

For your brushing and glowing pleasure. Fortified with radium for your mutating superpowers.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2023:

Yeah even worse that cigarettes for asthma... Where in the name of fuck did people get these stupid ideas and why do conservatives want to destroy the agencies that prevent these types of products from being marketed?....

Don't try that on me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2023:

How about "You are a pretty good driver for some guy from India?..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjrEQaG5jPM=higgums

Now a nice spanikopita, that's a different story.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2023:

Saved the best for last didn't you?...

Feminism is fighting back.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2023:

Funny how some people don't understand that cows are female and bulls are male....

Very true, skillfully combined unlike today's meds

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2023:

One shot of that and you could make it to work dead.... Chloroform and Morphine? Be feelin no pain at all...

I think I'll pass...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2023:

Haunted it is then and time to negotiate a real great price....

I think I will skip this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2023:

In the next 18 to 24 months they are going to have even more I hope... Inverse Vaccines are coming for all kinds of health issues... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/9/15/2193137/--Inverse-vaccines-could-be-the-beginning-of-the-end-for-autoimmune-disorders

I'll eat something else

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2023:

Most businesses don't make it through the first two years.... This is why.

Hell, I've used all of these.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2023:

"Make like a Shepard and get the flock out of here..."