It’s funny because it’s true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2023:

....

Never talked about Grandma but there were signs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2023:

I always wondered about "him"....

Special Edition! Unlimited Supply.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2023:

...

Be American, don't feel bad.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2023:

Thanks President Shrub...

I can't watch...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2023:

The weird part is some parents actually teach their kids to do that...

Saturday night and every night before bed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2023:

The Seventh Day Adventist Jebus...

The affordable version

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2023:

Her middle name is "Trash" and she does low end porn for a living...

Sad but true.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2023:

Typical Christian thinking....

He was on top one time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2023:

Just goes to prove that even female pornstars have things they won't do for money....

Bacon always works!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2023:

Slap, slap, slap, cough....

Gives new meaning to "The Meek Brainless Shall Inherit the Earth".

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2023:

Ones like the jackass who was telling me yesterday that "Joe Biden was being impeached" (he isn't because they can't find evidence of wrongdoing unlike Trump), COVID was a myth and the new shots would kill everyone who got them" (there are still 100+ people a day dying in the US hopefully this will be one of them) and Trump wasn't going to get convicted because they "didn't have any proof...." Dog must love stupid people he made so many of them...

Called in sick today and have been sleeping!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 12, 2023:

Not to mention drive.... 70% may be too low a score to pass in order to have safer roads but at least it pours some chlorine in the gene pool of stupid people....

Y'know what people say about Chinese products?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 12, 2023:

Must be Kevlar thread.....

An American Dream..... that wasn't.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 12, 2023:

The face I saw on my parents from about the third grade and on...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 11, 2023:

May of us do....

People are starting to realize their mistake... Is it too late? We'll see. [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 10, 2023:

Sounds like a Trumpanzee to me...

2nd Amendment alright but there is a problem.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2023:

Sounds like Texas alright...

Just follow the directions.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2023:

Welcome to the Deep South....

Good Morning!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2023:

An old rhyme we used when I was in elementary school.... "Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic, and so am I..."

The Rolling Stones have released a recent photo of Keith Richards to publicise their new album

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2023:

The title of the album is "The Eldest God..."

He is making a point but not sure which one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 9, 2023:

Mitch the Bitch has always been pointless

Happy Friday!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 8, 2023:

Texas now with 15 more degrees Fahrenheit.... And when life gives you shit... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUDwJuPy6Xs=rvddesign

The Dad has a good advice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 8, 2023:

"Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?... Whatcha gonna do when she cums for you?..."

Usually in the back of each book, too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 8, 2023:

"Thrift store on payday" is from the movie "Highlander"...

Wheeee!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 8, 2023:

Where is the turtle Autun?...

How to blow a job interview.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 8, 2023:

Tell them you want twice the normal starting wage...

You are in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2023:

Needs a bumper sticker saying "tiny dick on board..."

Look, we need him in 2024, fuck Biden and the Orange Man.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2023:

What are you hoping to reelect Donnie Dumbass the guy who wants to turn this country into Nazi Germany?...

Oops, that's not what we were told.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2023:

More like "Republicans when they realize labor day is all about socialist union labor..." Oh and FYI the hammer and sickle is a COMMUNIST symbol NOT a socialist one so this sounds like one of Donny the Dumbass ranting about "far left fascists..."

A little late but....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2023:

Wondering when someone will get the joke.....

The big story never told

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2023:

He made her a fortune and she made him rock hard....

Spot on!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2023:

Or Sugar Daddy....

Don't miss the beginning or especially, the end!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2023:

Halloween special or Thanksgiving?....

Just finished renovation

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2023:

Needs a bigger sink with a fridge and stove...

Kid's will be kid's! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2023:

I sympathize with the driver of that truck....

Was I wrong?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2023:

Surprised she didn't remarry him so she could divorce him again for the rest of his money....

Some nuts are healthy, some are poisonous.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2023:

And while you are at it no eating in a red state....

What's your story?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2023:

And at the same time earned his name "Fuckerberg"...

And coz you cannot eat love

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2023:

Cums complete with billionaire sugar-daddy Ken doll...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

Working at Amazon...

Way to go man.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

Well in all fairness she did get a clothing allowance...

We're all outta cake, hon.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

Thinking about taking a trip to Walmart.... who is in?...

Who would have thunk it!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

Hey Thing meet my friend Finger he has something he wants to show you....

We have ALL done this...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

Mom got caught again...

Language problems

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

She is going to have the same problem with a sailor boyfriend....

Thursday Morning Meme Drop!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2023:

Chlamydia my ass more like Squaids.... That bitch acts like she has done some serious fucking of AIDS infected squirrels....

“Sorry daddy, I’ve been a very very very naughty girl”.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2023:

That is what he gets for dipping into the poor box to pay for a sugar baby....

A cry for help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2023:

Cinderella she ain't....

Comical.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2023:

The really comical part is this shows the ignorance of the right-wing nutbags who are scared they might be Gay...

Live the one life you know you have. 'How' is a different matter. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2023:

Wait until the damned rats with wings attack and crap all over him...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2023:

Oh look a guy who fucks like the GOP...

He got his wish

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2023:

What a lucky guy his wife takes requests....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2023:

Just be careful that isn't a tucked goose...

Only Married Man will Understand This Better! 😹🙊 By Xavier Early in the morning, husband ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2023:

My ex-wife in a nutshell....

Stolen from FB.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 27, 2023:

You can say that at any maternity ward....

He did what she wanted...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2023:

Be careful what you ask for you might just get it....

Going to a swimming pool party!!! Woohoo!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2023:

Support those taco bell employees most on Tuesday....

It's FetLife Daddy I think.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2023:

What a way to go though eh?...

I have pondered over this often

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2023:

Answering truthfully could get me in a lot of trouble.... 12 gauge rifled slugs make one hell of a mess.

He isn't happy about the promotion

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2023:

Looking like "First you guys keep me up all night with the loud noises coming from your bedroom now this?"

I don't want to live in Texas any more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2023:

They should have made him remove his disguise for the mugshot...

Friday woohoo!!!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2023:

Really enjoyed Laurel and Farty...

Honestly I wouldnt ask for more, possibly less

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2023:

I am in love...

Looking for a girlfriend, minimum requirements

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2023:

Girl send him one of you with two guys giving him the finger....

Indians on the moon

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2023:

At least they didn't make a mess of the landing like the Russians did...

Been there, done that!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2023:

Still wondering when these big corporations are going to buy a voicemail that understands English myself.... In might be useful in the US I would think...

Ugh!!!! Back to work!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2023:

So then a Pringles can is the new Redneck fleshlight?...

I know magic

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2023:

Sad just sad..... How some people will think this is a "miracle of math...."

For Indian babies

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2023:

Mel Brooks was inspired and has announced his next production will be "Blazing Saddles:2 Blazing Diapers the Next Generation...

What is an above-ground subway called, It should be called a superway.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2023:

Somebody take those drugs away from him.... Send em my way I could make a fortunes selling that shit.

I'm back!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2023:

Next time you run into the problem we had remember to check the security certificate so you don't get locked out. If the security cert has expired you can over ride your browser to allow access anyway. In Firefox this is done in the right side of the address bar by clicking on the shield icon and following directions.

It had to happen...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2023:

Thank goodness I have brown hair....

Investment opportunity...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2023:

Playing this song loudly with signs on the car reading "Follow my ass to Hooters!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0qDW9shiD8=Choock5219

Give more color crayons to kids

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZuHAsf6qO0=LarryHinze

This is why I am afraid to date, it first started with They/Them....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2023:

Had that happen to a roommate in Hawaii when he went down to Hotel Street in Wacki-wacki. When he told us what happened people couldn't stop laughing for weeks...

Was it that easy?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2023:

Because some people need directions any idiot can follow....

Georgia Christians support Trump 100%

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2023:

Funny how the gun collection always seems to be worth more than the home...

Financial planning Southern style

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2023:

I can't wait until he files for bankruptcy the paperwork is going to be fun to read....

Better be sorry than safe

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2023:

Has to be a Russian....

It's more common than we think

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2023:

So many of these in the world....

I'll let myself out...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2023:

Always be careful what you wish for.... You might just get it but not quite in the way you wanted....

What could he do?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2023:

Fingerprints left at the scene matched those of his left hand....

Just leaving this here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2023:

Nothing makes Mormons look sane....

He missed the vacuum cleaner

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2023:

One way to collect unemployment....

Well... If u don't know...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2023:

I should call the AA hotline with that one...

My god. Have you been to a gas station lately?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2023:

The problem with gas is it drives up the price of that ass....

Honey, let's make this work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2023:

She is just lucky he didn't pick the egg beater....

Southern parenting starts early

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2023:

Exit gene pool stage left.....

I live in Texas but don't look at me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2023:

Looks to me like he is someone who fucks his sister...

A nice compliment..... almost

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 31, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODV6mxVVRZk=JohnnyMandelVEVO

Help me understand

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 30, 2023:

The guy just sat there drinking beer and watching sports.... I guess he figured that counted as exercise...

Included with the Taj Mahal tour

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 30, 2023:

Translation.... The Ganges river: A huge stream of feces and elephant piss...

No kiddin yo doll

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2023:

Check out Barbie's new hit single "Radioactive" ...

Hold your retirement plans.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww47bR86wSc=Sprouts

I believe it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bwc3a1O9lY=chipnus

Now in extra strength

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 25, 2023:

Sounds like a knock out...

Choose wisely

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2023:

Time machine.... Just think of all the good you could do making sure criminals and political scum like Hitler, Stalin, Trump and so many others die as children...

Interviewer ;- How do you explain the four year gap in your resume Me ;- That's when I went to ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 18, 2023:

That yale accent really helps...

I feel for him, I live in Texas.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2023:

The reason it is so hard to solve crimes in the South is with Rednecks there are no dental records and the DNA is all the same...

Question of the Day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 15, 2023:

Bet it was with his sister...