And I continue to do that to this day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Oh noes!... Not the hamster...

That's a mouth full...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

In other words.... "Don't be a Donnie Dumbass..."

2 for the price of 1...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Take the whole box at once and you will know what "blow out" really means....

Boys, it isn't a bone either.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Unless you are over eight inches long...

I'm recovering slowly.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Rules commission fines them if they wear shorts....

Why don't you believe it? Lol....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

Oh please seeing that gives me an erection.... Sorry I am going to go get my Beretta and show it this picture and tell it this is what it was made for.... Cleaning the genepool....

How about you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

I do my poor best....

Sure seems like it sometimes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

Seems to be happening more and more these days.... "Somebody needs to do this in Floriduh.... [dailykos.com]"

You heard it here first

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2023:

So old he makes the gods look like teenagers...

What a beautiful analogy! I get emotional.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85cL1HisrNc=GuncannonD

Just ignore the question

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

Run quick, run fast, run far and for the sake of fuck don't go back....

So, that's how it's done. lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

Not this year...

"Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2023:

With over 40,000 different Christian cults the only thing they can all agree on is that all the others are fucked....

Stuck at the laundromat, utilities are getting ridiculous! Hope you all are having a great evening!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

Hey I think I have a first edition of that book...

Never mind the arm

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

Uhhh That one is going to be C-section....

Do you still want to sit on the couch at home and drink?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

Have to be careful what that tap is dispensing....

Who's pulling the strings?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2023:

The puppet master....

This flag looks familiar.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

You have dated people from Morocco?....

I couldn't resist, this is hilarious.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Well someone won't be collecting child support...

Graded by authenticity...lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

How did they know?....

A one track mind...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

How blonds have more fun...

Mike is very creative.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

If only it had been that easy for me growing up....

I say it's so, change my mind....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Because her ass is grass and you're the lawnmower...

I need back-up and bring coffee...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

What cops won't do for a dough nut....

Who's good at math?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

13.... My lucky number...

Explain no further officer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

As well as anything you don't say...

Enjoy. Don't let Monday bother you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Fast food at Redstate wages I don't see them getting people who aren't idiots to work for them...

Enjoy. Don't let Monday bother you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Harry Potter dealing crack....

The Meaning of Life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2023:

The answer is 42... Douglas Adams defined this in his books. 42 is ascii code and 42 stands for the * which is short for whatever you want it to mean....

It's more fun, though...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Making the rounds?

Huge sale over on Amazon!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Best use I can think of for those...

You just never know who's going to show up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

When all else fails get out the plasma torch and cut that puppy right off.... That will get her hot.

@glennlab @Garban @Lauren @Lizard_of_Ahaz I've been trying to like all of your posts, comments, so...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Microwaves heat water faster get with the times....

Filed under "Just For Laughs", No use

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Hard to see how Republicans are going to justify child trafficking.... But then they always do manage for those in their camp while claiming others are the ones doing it...

A woman is showering in the upstairs of her house when she sees her husband in the yard doing yard ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

I thought she left it at the neighbor's house after using it for an extremely kinky sex session...

On PURPOSE, mind you. Y'all remember madras jackets?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Redneck Prius......

Another reason dogs are the best.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Cats don't even need to be trained in this concept...

Very accurate

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Pretty much universal to any English speaking country...

I know this is a humor group but seeing the problems we are having and how little time we might have...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Since nobody is expressing opinions or interest in the project I am not going to waste time or 30K on a project that would fail.

The ducks are happy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Well all I can say to that is fuck a duck...

I love history and all it entails.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

I have seen her on stage.... a great act.... she crawls out and tries to stand up...

We have a huge selection of essential oils to choose from, this seems to work best

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2023:

Or ether.....

Only can help so far

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2023:

Sad part is that down South he is one of the smart ones.... It is the White conservatives that are the really stupid ones....

The gender has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Some human women do that too the trick is to get them not to use their teeth.... Must be why women with no teeth are so popular down South....

Xavier is right

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Looks like she is trying to swing from her family tree.... pun intended...

But his cousin can shop at Acme.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Is it the roadrunner route?....

I think I'll pass..... Yep, I'll pass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

That will definitely get your ass high....

This was from a retired anaesthetist friend.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=notKtAgfwDA=alyankovicVEVO

The time has come for us to venture into the void.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

One of the kids playing hide and go seek?....

Where's the garlic?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

I would love to find one of those... as a collectible do you have any idea what they are worth?...

For when mosquito season begins. Oh, what a fashion statement!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

I have heard of fishnets but this?...

More public Service announcements for you to use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Tried that on assbook but it backfired and I ended up with almost 4,000 followers in my friends list before I gave up....

Perfect couple...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Hung out to dry?.....

A big wet mess.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Makes her fat too...

[tiktok.com] All type of sweet babies ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Love the cat in the shower...

A lot of times, religion boils down to practicality. And desperation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

Must have heard him wrong....

Explain it to Jesus

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

If Jebus had ever existed and did return today Christians would be the first in line to nail him back up on a fucking cross just for shits and giggles...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0aIqx1McVI=thisyourtube

Happy Saturday Afternoon! Hope you all are having a good one!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Go ahead and tell her about your 8" dick and I will tell her I have a 6" tongue then we will see who she goes home with....

Just read the sign!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Trumpanzee alert...

Christopher Titus [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Same things I have been saying since Ronny Raygun was in the Whorehouse....

I am so done with winter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2023:

LMAO all these Libertarians up in the mountains near me are under 10 to 15 feet of snow and it won't stop until Sunday at the earliest... Snow is so deep they can't even shovel it off their roofs so no gas or food going up again to their paradise of government not being in their faces.

Not much has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

............

Of course, this is just my opinion, you are free to think what you will. Can't stand the guy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

Elon is full of shit, don't be like Elon...

The Bible is full of ommisions and inaccuracies

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

What a way to go...

Uh-oh, I'm gonna be in trouble with her... 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

You're fucked... You're life is over..... Should have offered to iron it for her...

It might make for a better neighborhood

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Should actually make it a part of Somalia.... That way nobody would notice...

Always ask your co workers what they'd like to do sometimes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Looks like puppy has been sampling the marijuana stashes he finds...

Talk about a dark side...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

If he ever got into my head he would be a shivering mass of screaming flesh...

Not a nice lady I heard

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

AKA Putin's little bitch...

Being the historian that I am I failed to mention that March 6th was 187th anniversary of the fall ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Ahh Texas history books.... No wonder they can't cope with real schools in other states...

Guys, you should too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Now that is a nice rear view...

DIY - don't spend on handymen

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

That would be just plain scary....

Flys are horrible today.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Life is a bitch when it turns out the flies are smarter than you are...

Kamala Babble

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

...............

This claim though.... is unrefuted

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Now that is a really stupid design....

It's a love/hate relationship

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

No balls....

Dogs can be excellent judges of character, in this case Major was spot on.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Good dog...

When your scam comes back and bites you in the ass! :D Self proclaimed "Jesus Christ" of Kenya ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

"If I had me a hammer....."

Be on the look-out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

I would rather have pigeons in the neighborhood...

Do not pass go, do not collect...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

How amazingly obvious...

The truth will come out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Why is it so many women enjoy sex while dating and glue their legs together after marriage?...

That ain't right...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 5, 2023:

Problem is that people really are that dumb these days...

Yes, mistress!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

"Take your cigarette from it's holder!... Burn your initials in my shoulder! You can raise welts like nobody else as we dance to the Masochism tango..." Prof Tom Leher

Just so you know....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

Unless they reverse the polarity on the motor then it blows...

Talk about a shitty job....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

The wheels on the bus go.... shit.

WTF is wrong with Tennessee... ALL our founding Fathers were drag queens!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2023:

So is the Pope....

Rather than raise the retirement age, they should be lowering it, remove the cap.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2023:

My entire body is messed up because I worked so hard just so I could sleep. I suffered from PTSD for almost 40 years before the VA finally admitted that was the problem and got me on disability. Then I applied for Social Security Disability and they denied me saying I had "made too much money" Sure dudes I get 727.00 a month from you assholes and you claimed I was rich. Yes I had good years but I also had long periods of being homeless and suffered from depression most of the time and these assholes talked like I was fucking Elon Must....

Brothers, pay attention!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

I would say who cares?...

What can I say, but, what can I say.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

I learned long ago that giving a fuck or a rat's ass was too much effort so I no longer bother giving either...

A woman and her male neighbour each buy greenhouses… They both decide to grow tomatoes and a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Aha I was right they were both lying....

Grandma knows a thing or two!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Grandma took 10 to go?

A little whipped cream on top, yummy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Great sign for a massage parlor I guess....

Can't stand those guys....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Funny because it is the neighbor's dog..... the one that kept you up with it's constant howling for a full year. That is what I call a "win, win situation..."

Gee, can't wait to tell Mom.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Somebody just got a big surprise...

See ya later!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Famous last words....

When "do it yourself" is the wrong approach. 😏

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

In his defense..... His sister never wore a bra....

I never liked Viagra.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Well it got something up...

They are related occupations, if you think about it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Yep that is family...

Religious fantasy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Another reason god would be a woman is it was always PMSing...