Warning ! It's PG-13.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

Porn Guy 13?...

Yo kids, get your act together.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

#MeToo I intend to live forever just to piss everyone else off....

Have perfected grocery shopping

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

Next time remove your keys from your pocket before you pick up your groceries....

Ignore me at your peril. Don't be a wet blanket.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

Don't worry Donald you are still the duck and he is just a quack...

Experience the miracle

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

God is a good way to separate a fool from his money...

It helps if you say it in a teutonic accent.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2023:

Musical farts?...

I have to get somethin off my chest.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2023:

Does fuck you sound sincere enough for you?.... #NotAskingForAFriend

Happy Monday Night!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

Thinking that mutant's feet might really look like that...

Wedding at their favorite place - Walmart !

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

Best argument ever against beer goggles....

Democrat problem solving.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/12/10/2209335/-Ukraine-Invasion-Day-656-GOP-amp-Orban-allies-meet-11-December-2023-to-stop-UKR-funding

Democrat problem solving.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

You must really enjoy looking stupid don't you?... Got a newsflash for you Donny Dumbass ran up 9 Trillion dollars in debt in only 4 years making him not only the most criminal president in history as well as the most incompetent and feckless but also the first president in history to increase the national debt by such a huge amount... Today they will be meeting with Orban's toadys which was organized by the heritage foundation to sell us out to Putin by blocking aid to Ukraine...

wish I was that pig

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

The one biting her on the ass?... You do realize it is a female right?...

I'm tired, goodnight 😴😘

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

Easier if they just shot him...

For sure….

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EPEkk6qWkg=NewYorkMagazine

Sounds to be pretty life like

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2023:

Donnie Dumbass is a Fascist zero...

He actually said this and based on history it's not surprising.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2023:

Betting that hotel room is at a local roach motel....

They will find a way

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

Kids are going to love that one...

He is always thinking business

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

About as good a way to get rich as living in a rusty trailer and voting Republican because they are helping the rich get so rich soon they will start giving money to the poor....

Can't say that I blame her. 😜

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

A little hot lovin will get her all wet.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5IbN4xw70=CardiB

He has an attraction towards with small people

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

When you have an extremely small dick but want to be called "Big Daddy" anyway....

He won't help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

Step one: Buy a huge long-haired dog the sheds constantly... Step two: Buy a couple cases of wide two-sided tape... Step three; Follow the dog around picking fur off the furniture with the tape... Step four; Peel the back of the tape's protective layer off and stick the new toupee on top of your head... Step five; Repeat as needed...

The results are in

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

Hey stop giving out my personal medical information...

Wait, there is a difference

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2023:

Cobin liked those splashes of bright color... Michelangelo not so much...

Quick thinking

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2023:

I always wondered why..... sorry just thinking aloud....

This is a different kind of horse opera..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

"I always thought of poison as my retail therapy..." Catherine de' Medici

Ummm....I wouldn't know how to cook it either. 🤭

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

Just like chicken?...

you never know!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

You are being far too generous with that grade.... D- at best is my guess....

Good candidates are hard to find

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

Sounds more like the world's corporations.... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/12/7/2210250/-New-report-unsurprisingly-shows-that-profiteers-have-raised-prices-well-above-the-rise-in-costs?pm_campaign=trending=sidebar=web

That's what a good friend does. Pre-intervention🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

Yeah that was my ex-wife....

I'd watch that episode!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2023:

Too bad he doesn't exist think of all those Christians he could surprise....

Jesus suffered in many ways

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2023:

What sound does shit make when it hits the wall?.... Jesus...

Why don't we see the curvature?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2023:

Sounds like every political conservative on this site doesn't it?...

Sold out in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2023:

Pretty much every red state where the family doesn't consider a child anything to brag about until they have spent at least 12 months behind bars....

Poor-kinky.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2023:

Putting the Budweiser in BDSM...

Pete, Harry and Alex were holidaying in Dubai.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2023:

So who did the sucking?...

I have one request.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Just BBQ me for the holidays....

I am an open book.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

I have that on a tee-shirt I think....

He looks similar, no glasses needed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

I just wish the people of Israel would wise up and lynch this motherfucker along with all his political cohorts...

This is the earliest we have found.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

False I am sure I saw cave drawings of him dated from the Paleozoic era....

Don't worry. This is edited for PG-13.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Let's see the R rated version....

Nice relaxing Sunday evening finally!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Weird as hell is right some of the guys I grew up with first started jacking off to her....

I am watching my eating.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

These are the people always complaining they can't seem to lose weight...

Can Jessica say something like "Oh Jose, Oh Tyrone" instead?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

What if her boyfriend's name is Jesus?...

Fun and games on a grand scale

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

That face you make when you die of COVID....

A true story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Florida man is that you again?....

Not many have those skills

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

I have those skills also and it tends to annoy people who don't know the difference between "its and it's"

Our local Aldi has removed the check out lanes and installed self check out points.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Aldi is feeling the pressure here in the US to unionize and they are trying ways in less competitive markets to avoid it...

Certainly more than you have brain cells

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

He faked it.....

I hope he lands in the worst drag bar in NY

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Or robbing homes for Christmas....

Well...he tried. 🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

4 knots.... You are not going to like it when the doctor tells you that you have an STD...

Grandma's love is....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Grandma is a perv...

It's god's word, uh?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Why couldn't he have been the one who lived to be 100 years old instead?....

And she's just found out what he really really wants. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Pity the girl who goes through my phone and sees all the insane memes....

Hear me out here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Have to watch what you eat anywhere you go out these days the main ingredients are fat and sugar... Fat Food making addicts of everyone.

An executive decision

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

just because it is a pussy doesn't mean it wants a dildo up its ass....

Somebody has to say the right thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

But he will be the one getting laid...

Love is love

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Saudi royal family holiday picture?...

-10C here overnight. I don't think I will be cutting any firewood today

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

That is cold enough to freeze the balls off Frosty the Snowman....

Perhaps, only Brits can understand this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2023:

Full of sugar and I honestly don't like the taste....

Brilliant nasal policy in action

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2023:

Digging for a nose nugget....

What would you say to that?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2023:

Convenient way of evading personal responsibility for being an evil pile of shit if you ask me.... "It wasn't my fault a demon possessed me and forced me to rape and murder them..."

Has this happened to you? You may not be entitled to a compensation!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

Melina tried that and it isn't working out so well...

This was a hit the first time with Dukakis but Clinton-Gore killed it in 1992

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

Dan Quayle The guy who was so dumb they rejected his contestants application for "are you smarter than a 5th grader" because they said it was like dynamiting fish in a barrel...

True story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

You poor child.... Sorry that mean comment broke your vagina...

I saw some Christmas memes! Is it almost that time again?!?!?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

If you are looking for pedophiles the founder of "Moms for Liberty" is a convicted pedo....

It goes downhill fast.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

You never realize until you say "I do" that you mean you know you are jumping off a cliff...

To make it fully clear....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

Mississippi?.... So the locals know that pissing inside city limits is forbidden because the tourists have been complaining that the entire town smells like a urinal and is giving it too much class....

India's showcase of a smart city

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

Looks like some of the dumps I saw in the South.... Home of the so-called American Master Race....

I am wondering if this cnn.com or agnostic.com?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

As far as I can tell by observation and inference that is more than 90% of the human race... Which still begs the question.... Was I born here or is this a Potemkin village created by an exceptionally retarded alien species so they could study me?... Also if that happened how did they manage it?...

I pay because Mitt Romney can pay a lot less

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

If the rich had to pay their fair share as they did under both FDR and Eisenhower the poor, working and middle classes would pay far less....

Just in time for Christmas. You'll never want to leave home.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

Now in the new cat and dog turd scents!...

Wait for this. It's about coming out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

Well motherfucker....

She is not wrong.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

Yet going out windows seems popular in Russia these days....

I don't find them when I need them

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2023:

Would have been cheaper and less painful just to ask her out...

This was an ancient Roman public Bathroom

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2023:

Looks like an Irishman visiting the Blarney stone after a night at the pub....

Frankenstein and myrrh?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2023:

Two wise guys and an idiot...

They asked AI to show how Texas would be if it were a person. Do you agree?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2023:

Forgot the M-4 in a patrol sling...

Me: This is the wall I used to sit on with my mates when we were little. Her: Wow... (Whatever)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2023:

Me: This is where your sisters and I used to have threesomes... Her: You know you are a deadman right?...

Been busy with family!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2023:

Hiding from them?...

I hope no one has worms. 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2023:

Going to have a shot of Jack Daniels now thanks.... #NoWormsInMe

Coming soon... "Walmart Greeter"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2023:

When he starts shooting you don't want to be anywhere within 300 meters of the store...

Repeat victim?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2023:

Try to verify who you are dealing with first and ask them to prove they are cowboys by taking YOU for a ride...

Do you think is "base" will be pleased? 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2023:

They forgot to add the bullshit...

Thanksgiving leftovers. Hope y'all had a thankful day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2023:

Howard is that you?... For those of you who don't get it... https://youtu.be/2mz3oytpugs?feature=shared

True story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2023:

Maybe if you stopped watching Newsmax and Fox?... And I am sure the meth you smoke isn't helping either...

That will be a weight of her mind.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2023:

Thank goodness she didn't say "snatch and grab" or Donnie Dumbass would have tried to rape her....

Thanks to Sugar Daddies during Thanksgiving.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2023:

Depends on what you are wanted for.... As the old saying goes the only difference between inlaws and outlaws is outlaws are wanted....

Dropping out after New Hampshire. It's a very hard sale.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2023:

Gad what a fat piece of shit.... He pretends he is "one of the good guys" but he is a grifter just like Donny Dumbass...

'What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2023:

What nobody there wearing their KKK teeshirt?...

Fox does good shows sometimes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2023:

Not sure how attractive the other guys will find him though... He is going to have the nickname "The Pillsbury No Dough Boy..."

Fox does good shows sometimes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2023:

I might be tempted to buy a TV to see that show.... And I haven't owned one in decades.

Travel tip: Always carry some cash to the boarding gate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2023:

What no turkey flambe?....

Biden, are you listening?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

Good luck with that turkey....

Not to write home about

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

Sticky dick syndrome....

Welcome Susan to our group.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

What your online "girlfriend" asking for money really looks like....

He lives in San Francisco.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

Mugshot after murdering his parents for giving him that name...

They are braving the cold. We appreciate the service.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

Delivering those drumsticks all season long....

Not too much to ask, is it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

Good girl...

Figments of imagination are not in the ground

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

They can't even find records of those people's existence in several cultures they would have been been affecting some of which were obsessive and paranoid about keeping records on people like that...

Count me in. I'll bring jars of old screws and nails. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2023:

I just added a 100+ year old chisel to my tool collection that I found while tearing the old siding off my house...