Funny facts

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 26, 2023:

Well I really have to agree that anyone who gets indicted on 91 felonies is a bad person and the only part of that which is funny is that anyone could possibly be stupid enough to think he wasn't...

Early Thursday Morning Memes!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 26, 2023:

Love the pest control idea....

I hated my job until now

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

They wouldn't need to masturbate me....

Punching above your weight

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

Now that dog is getting a whole lot of pussy....

Don't forget the efforts he took to look like this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

Been looking for this one again...

I am going to have a glass of wine after this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

Got remarried 1989....

Sounds familiar?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

She gives wonderful headache doesn't she?

True or not?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

That depends on the Democrat....

That's it, I'm moving.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

Does anyone even remember what this place is famous for?.... If not look up Ralph Ginzberg... Also keep in mind that in intercourse Penn it is still illegal to play ball on Sunday...

Then and now.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

To be fair the ones about kids in school are mostly applicable to political conservatives.... in states run by the GQP.

Another busy day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 25, 2023:

That last one is 110% me....

I am so hurt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2023:

How selfish of her...

He's going to be a stand up comedian.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2023:

We all know who the baby daddy is now don't we?....

Which one are you? I'm probably the hopeless one. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2023:

And the moral of the story is.... Don't be a number two...

The same menu every day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2023:

Religion, always feeding people bullshit....

Starbucks has been very busy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2023:

Be thankful you didn't say "Mark with a "k"" Or they really would have Karked up your name...

This gonna be his last trip

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2023:

Well that is one way to clean up the genepool....

Got to think fast!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2023:

I would have loved to see the looks on their faces but in all seriousness I doubt I would be looking that high....

How times change

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2023:

There is an old saying that goes: "The more things change the more they stay the same..."

She is I think dear.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 22, 2023:

So much for sheet music...

Will you join me at this moment?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 22, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2KeF3qteDw=0Pandy0

To be very honest....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 22, 2023:

Kind of a shame it never really happened isn't it?...

Just doing what the doctor ordered.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

I got mine for free because they paid almost a thousand bucks for one they didn't use in the 5 years they owned it.... Never buy this stuff new when you can get it in a garage sale for 5 or 10 bucks....

It's terrible.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

Bet he wasn't doing much else right either....

I like my doctor.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

And when the cops arrest you your defense will be "But my doctor prescribed a coke and a smile..."

An important update from the Middle East

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

Oh forgot to mention that if Israel wants in on the fun they better hurry up because the Orcs are getting clobbered... Oh and FYI the personnel losses are all KIA if they added in wounded, MIA and disabled the number would be close to a million by now...

An important update from the Middle East

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

An Israeli conservative politician just got onto a Russian propaganda station and told them after they finish off Hamas they are coming for Russia.... Looks like Putin stepped on his dick bigtime.

No welcome to Jeebus?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

How about that reserve chute....

Halloween 2023 - a deer in headlights

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2023:

You know she is going to hit that right?...

Hope you're enjoying your Friday night!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

Storm troopers never could hit anything...

Adult happy meal

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

Pass on the fries just a furburger please....

Now you are a grown up. Time to know the truth.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

Septuplets? Snow White and her seven baby daddies...

History made simple for kids

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

Face and hair aren't a matching shade of bilious orange....

Safety does not come first

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

Looks like the bathroom where Trump was storing those classified documents....

News from the hood

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

Very Punny....

Halloween Part XVI 2023

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2023:

LMAO at the Kool Aid Man....

Joan Jett!!!! 🖤🖤🖤

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2023:

Joan Jett for Empress of Earth!...

Honest Christians.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2023:

Surprised they aren't wearing "Trump gear..."

What do Matt Gaetz and the god of Christians have in common?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2023:

Matt Gaetz in his campaign bus....

Church training of being mean to others every Sunday

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2023:

A friend of mine once asked me why I was so against religion.... I asked them have they ever noticed the number of people in their church who were judgmental assholes but were themselves worse than those they were judging?.... *crickets and a burned out expression...*

He could have said that nicely.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2023:

Colder than a ham in the freezer...

Backwards or forwards??? ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2023:

Betting damned few people tailgate that truck....

Please share old memories

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2023:

Actually I did just that while camping and it drove others crazy I could make primitive weapons and tools long before I got into high school...

Not afraid of dying...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2023:

Probably one of an 8 year old boy....

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2023:

His name was "Big Horn..."

Almost Wednesday!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

Wednesday Addams.... I have Season 1 coming now...

I found my motivation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

You mean like an alcoholic?...

He could've been more sweet, polite.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

He should've said "I don't" instead...

Halloween part VIII 2023

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

"Growl at the empty corner of the room?" At least the cat is going to leave you a present... and there is no telling what a cat will consider "weird". Who knows it might even turn out to be valuable...

Be patriotic. Eat American. Eat United Steaks of America.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

Then you find out it is graded as dog food...

It has happened!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

Should have phrased that "have you ever looked at someone and not thought..." Then I could truthfully answer with a definitive and resounding "fuck no are you kidding me?..."

What a day!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2023:

Looks like poor Juan just got nutted...

I spit my coffee out...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 16, 2023:

I used to have a cat when I was young that would play dead in the yard and wait for the crows to land....

Follow me for more interior decoration ideas.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

We used to tell people to "take a seat" but this just screams "here take a shit..."

It's Sunday night already?!?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Poor guy and his cocktail weenie....

For those who believe "Here is is Cumming".

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Always knew he was an asshole...

Will there be takers? I doubt it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Too much baggage even for a hooker...

Be careful with those sprays

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Get rid of that really annoying one called "The Tick..." https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/the_tick/s01/e01

Real works of art.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

And yet after I reached 40 years of age the younger women stopped stalking me....

Who feels lucky?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Dogs always submit to an alpha so no problem for me...

I have been trying to tell Y'll

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

I am fluent in two languages.... English and bad English...

My appetite has improved lately, I am so happy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

Barbie-Q?...

Asking for a friend? Nah, I just want to use it myself.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2023:

All the shitshows going on in Conservaworld right now are described by this word to perfection....

Damn computer...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2023:

Looks like he is proving he is stupid... Most humans are...

A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2023:

At which point his teacher asked him on a date....

She is not going to change her mind.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2023:

Nice ankle bracelet LMAO....

This would break his heart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

We know Putin and Trump are crying over this...

Mom knows best

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Sounds like mom is going to be a grandmother before she is 30....

My kinda guy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

I know people hate me deep down in their guts and it makes me very happy....

Hey Barney, I’ve got an idea. Hold my beer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

I have lived that life.... If I ever go to Florida on vacation I am going to need a fake ID....

I haven't been to the beach in a long time, but I hear things.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Why in my mind am I hearing banjo music in the background when I see that picture? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDlZLsJJkVA=HDFilmTributes

A not-so-serious business in Washington

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Just watch and wait until they vote themselves a pay raise again this year....

Here is what happened in a nutshell

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

You forgot the part about the funding and training of Hamas by the Russian Union, the DRNK and Iranian supplied weapons... Oh and least we forget Trumps involvement in cutting security and monitoring of activities in that region...

You're right, O Wise One!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Way more than some...

The wishing well works for India's Modi

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

If I knew of one that worked that well I would be headed there now with a big fucking bag of quarters....

I'll take 2 please, one for now and one to go...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2023:

Just be careful you don't get the crabs....

That's too much honesty

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2023:

Neither does his wife....

Verrrry funny, Ms. Bar Owner. Cleaning out some of my backlog from July.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2023:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Bacon....

A poor quality bullet

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2023:

No worries it is just a head wound nothing up there to damage...

You want a lot of action? See Steven Segal as John Wick.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2mU6USTBRE=alyankovicVEVO

I have been through them myself

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

Being 65 and in my second childhood now I am forced to disagree...

Suddenly, you begin to see things clearly.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

Not helping him much are they?...

Follow me for more recipes...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

Are those athlete's feet?....

Be yourself.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2023:

If being myself drives someone away all I can say is good riddance to bad rubbish... People tend to annoy me.

Good Morning!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 9, 2023:

Where can I get that window sticker in bulk? There are a lot of jerks in the world and it would be fun putting those on their cars at night...

“ I ll see what I can do “ Priceless way to let someone know that “ ain’t happening ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Nah that is his mama's house.... She made him dig his own basement room.

I want my tears back !!!😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Ahhh the old blunt on a cunt....

Some pain, some fun .... coming soon

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Well fuck me to beers....

I think they mean it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

20 pounds of thermite solves the problem nicely....

They look vaguely Kryptonian to me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2023:

Fuck off Timmy...

Yesterday once more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2023:

And one is a Karen....

Enjoy your fucking meal

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2023:

And I want my steak so rare it moos like a motherfucker when I stab it with the fucking knife....

LOL…..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2023:

So he is an illegal alien that explains a lot....

Ever wondered why that is?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2023:

All those plastic micro-beads in the shampoos and conditioners....

Trump said to African Americans - "What you've got to lose?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2023:

This is the same New York Times that keeps trying to act like Fox?

ET came back to Earth with someone. Missed it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

The Honeymooners....

Keith has been around for a while.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Inverted universe... Parallel is side by side unless they are reversed in which case they would be mirror....

It is scaring the hell out of him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Probably made his dick hard...

If he doesn't win this time, he will try Broadway

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Any self respecting cat would be deeply insulted...

A tough job interview

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2023:

Simple enough to do in your head if you break it down.... 3 X 37 = 111 4 X 111 = 444 therefore 12 X 37 = 444 Why can't people do simple math?...