Take it! - Yogi Berra

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2022:

Well that road is done.... somebody stuck a fork in it....

Happy Wednesday Night!!!😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2022:

Funny how movie characters get wounded and lose several quarts of blood but never seem to notice and are up and around in a day or two...

Heed, the word of the day...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2022:

People who only have their skin color to be proud of have nothing at all they should be proud of...

Just another silly girl, wonder if she's still around?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2022:

The lion in the bush?....

The truth comes out!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2022:

On the Internet only 1 out of every 10 quotes are real...

Xmas season continues

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2022:

Sending that frozen collection one to a friend with a 5 year old daughter....

Still getting the Xmas stuff unloaded.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2022:

For Donald Christmas isn't all it is quacked up to be....

Who's hungry?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2022:

good one to feed the grandkids when they come for a visit.... just tell the kids you fed their kids "English food" for dinner....

[tiktok.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2022:

Thanks .... now I think I will just go bash my head with a rock so I can erase those images from my mind....

Old habits die hard. In some cases, a LOT harder.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2022:

I guess Greater Crater lived there....

No Doubt...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Yet the first three were intentional so why didn't the last one have an abortion and save us all the trouble...

What you gonna do, them Greeks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Wondering where he keeps that sword....

Ooops,...missed!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Bad time to ask for good aim...

PMG, how does that happen?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Looks like someone was a bit horny....

Now this is my kind of Xmas song: [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAzaST3J3H4

Another reason the bible is full of shit.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

#4 is anyone I take to a family gathering.....

It's still close enough not to want to waste these.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Why conservatives are banned from my life...

Make sure he doesn't follow too close

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Another small penis vehicle....

Warning, not advised for the weak of heart!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

10 seconds in mine and you will be on Lithium Citrate for the rest of your life...

Louis is going to take time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

Hoping his last name is DeJoy....

It can be so soothing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2022:

I'll drink to that...

On one of the dating sites I have women that are 24-29 years old sending me likes and messages I ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

Honestly I have met women in their 20s' who are more mature than ones in their 50s' or 60s' it more would depend on the person. Women my age tend to be more conservative and just want someone to pay their way through life and think Clinton or Pelosi are actually good choices instead of the right of Reagan scum they are. Pelosi is trying to cut taxes for large corporations as one of her last acts in congress....

Scammers are getting smarter.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

I actually had a message from an old paypal account I forgot about the other day. I hadn't checked my email in four days so I didn't see it until today and paypal canceled the payment request about an hour afterwards. It seems some idiot got the "bright idea" of trying the IRS scam there.... I didn't even have to recover the account...

Happy Saturday late afternoon! Lazy days like this are a luxury!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

If they had a warrant the cops would have a battering ram and body armor....

That figures

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

Debunked.... Zuckerberg is a thief and a moron they couldn't be related....

Look familiar ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

Used to know a gal who had been in the Army that used the term "Hoohaw" and her family thought she was a genius... Her email was her name with hoohaw added to it.... She could never understand why I thought she was an idiot. Yet she had seen a youtube video about "making diamonds" using a microwave oven, charcoal, peanut butter and gasoline and was dumb enough to try it..... then wondered why she blew up her mother's microwave oven.

Followed by more bogus sales, Cyber Monday 😅

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

And if you had bought it about a month ago the non-sale price would have been $399.99....

I'll let myself out....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

Will somebody please lock that revolving door?....

Sometimes, you just have to knock it off.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

How come so many people are like #1?....

This was so funny I had to share

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 26, 2022:

And people wonder why I am not a doggy person...

A classic example of a guy born on third base and thought he hit a triple

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2022:

1200 employees took him up on his offer and told him to fuck off they quit... All offices are now closed and the entire stack according to experts is about to crash.

There is no pleasing some people

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2022:

Too much mustard?

Finishing out Thanksgiving

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2022:

Re; #3 what you are hoping your hot neighbor will say to you after her drunk husband passes out...

A hard look in the mirror...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fn36l_z3WY

Oh heck! My true identity is out there now. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 25, 2022:

Those treats will do that to you...

Keep room for this special ocassion

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Hey isn't that the beat me, eat me lady?....

I want to congratulate my brothern

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Not going to enter until the judge is a beautiful woman....

A guy is imprisoned for his first time On his first night, a few minutes after lights-out, his ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Must have been the one about the tis bottle....

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Damn I never get that feeling in #1 anymore how come?...

Thanksgiving to remember

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

The family that plays together....

Scammers are getting smarter.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Come and get me mother fucker....

Snoop Yoda

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Not going to follow that one...

Imagine an electric carving knife in the shower scene. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Sending that one to a friend who just came home from visiting her narcissistic mother... You know the one I mean...

They can be so judgmental and arresting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Or congressmen...

Moses was strong

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Not going to explain this one to our resident ding dongs I am just enjoying the fools they make of themselves..... "Irony is a dish that is best served cold..." anonymous

Probably needs to apply for Texas DPS, I hear they are looking for a few good men.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Ask Colorado....

Ah, those moments

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Bet she felt those vibrations good... real good... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apBWI6xrbLY

If she can do this, imagine...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2022:

My she looks fun.....

Trapped by their own arrogance

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2022:

Never mess with an old fart...

The real reason that libertarians won't win

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

If they want to live in a "Libertarian paradise" why don't they just move to fucking Somalia?....

Like mother, like son.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Son....y

One to share with your friends.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Because I am all there I can't think of myself as all that....

Caring is loving

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Hey I have a part that gets cold too you know...

Just leave her alone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Never heard of birth control?...

Context is everything.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

If you are rich you are just eccentric, but if you are poor you are batshit insane....

Never lose your dog 🐕

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

My cats will be cremated and interred with me. After all they are veterans too and have served me well

Ever seen a big ass snake?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Gonna need a big ass snake for that ass...

Hand of the Almighty ( by John Butler ) Be aware, all you sinners, this's a Warning message.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wvj2aFNJnk

I need this sign

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Only when I am sleeping in the yard....

Can you find them all?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

8 differences...

A good advice, trust me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

And if he has shoes like those leopard skin ones you should start seeing other men...

Texas, repeat after me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Not sure there is much difference between metaphysics and philosophy... but both are light years ahead of religion...

A marketing genuis

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

My guess is that he is finding himself hard to sell.... Even in Northern Minnesota...

I find it happening more and more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

One day I needed some scotch tape and looked in the stationary section, when I couldn't find it I asked a stocker if they had any in back and he told me it was on the end cap of the potato chip isle.... He thought it was funny when I asked him what kind of moron thought that was actually a good idea...

This week is important

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Seen a lot of diabetics with feet like that that usually ended up with amputations....

Oh no, not that again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Or your creditcard bills....

The answer is there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Could there be a cooralation between these?...

Love is love

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

It is hard being a Minuteman....

It's overwhelming in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

I wonder how that park would feel about sliding down headfirst on your back?...

Qatar is just taking management lessons from Musk

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Using slave labor to build the world's most expensive soccer stadium ever and then piss people off...

Japan is good at these things

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

And trouble is two women under one roof....

Geez. Guys only want one thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Petting that pussy....

Your tax Dollars at work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Got to be Texas....

She has no idea ... lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

She is probably laughing because she knows the cops are waiting right outside the store for you....

Tell me why.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Always bet on human stupidity and you will rarely lose....

Wonder what life would've been without

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iyird7QyhGU

The difficulty of sharing a name….

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Time to fire the IT guy and hire someone competent...

Another reason I've never made one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

And the last 10 would be her berating you for being a Minuteman?....

Happy Sunday, hope you all have a great day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Some people aim higher while others can't aim at all.... "Must have been designed by somebody else...."

What is your level of trust?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

I trust people to be stupid fuck ups and rarely have I been disappointed....

Special Edition but Unlimited Supply

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

They forgot the fuck me hole in the seat....

A blast from the past

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

I wouldn't be so sure if I were you living in Texas.....

I'm terrible at job interviews because.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

Some people go to great lengths to get hired these days... https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-guy-who-sent-a-hiring-manager-a-box-with-a-shoe-in-it-to-get-a-foot-in-the-door?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Dirty minds...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

Pervert sticking his pecker into an underage ash....

I'm terrible at job interviews because.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

My answer would have been "If I did you wouldn't believe me anyway.."

A quick reference chart for all the civilians out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCACcvH_G7I

A quick reference chart for all the civilians out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL8O2Cfc2P4

Don't it make you wanna just scream?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Like Elon Musk tweeting about declaring bankruptcy..... and instantly getting a million likes....

It's like god picks sides in sporting events. haha

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Like the Germans during WW2 "Got Mit Uns" .... If he was then their god is a huge loser....

This really is a thing, so many jokes, so little time.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

It's a Redneck thing..... Safer like that trying to shit outdoors when you are drunk.

Damn, they are stealing the plumbing out of the walls

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

He is holding a yard sale out front trying to make money....

I hear you people up north got some of that white stuff, you know solid rain

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

30 minutes up the road from me are the ski resorts and there is snow up there already...

The bane of long haired dogs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

It's all fun and games until the vet tells you he is diabetic.... 1,000 a year for his insulin, another 100.00 a year for universal pen tips, and another 600.00 a year for vet bills....

He does have a knack for fucking things up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Elon Musk could fuck up a wet dream....

I bought a new hoover the other day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Hoover sucks....

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Don't forget the quickie he got from one of the stewardesses...

Always got to make fun....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Damn racist photoshop....

Yabba dabba do....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Creationists call this proof dinosaurs lived in harmony with man just like in the Flintstones....

I know I bought one about 1975, where it is now, I have no Idea.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

I did have it.... The ones before it didn't last long and were something like these.

He's doing his job

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Not so..... Sometimes they do tell the truth.... just in a way you won't believe it is true.