I never liked Viagra.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Well it got something up...

They are related occupations, if you think about it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Yep that is family...

Religious fantasy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Another reason god would be a woman is it was always PMSing...

Just a misunderstanding...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2023:

A great impressionist artist in the making...

I guess some things are better let unsaid.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2023:

Where is Charlie Brown?...

Go Campbell's!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

"Revenge is a dish that is best served cold..." And no it wasn't a Klingon... (Also known as a parody Russian.. Origin of this idiom The phrase revenge is a dish best served cold finds its origins in the mid 1800's from a text written by Eugene Sue called Memoirs of Matilda which was written in French and when directly translated actually reads revenge is good when eaten cold, so the vulgar folks say. “Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold” | What Does It Mean? - 7ESL

Oh the fun you can have in a rocking chair with two people and some imagination; slow but steady ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

I was born way too late.... The perfect woman and I hadn't been born yet...

Is he covered though.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Fish and Game Officer: Sir may I see your current ice fishing license?...

[tiktok.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

I just wish I had been afforded the opportunity...

And they are quite modest. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

He would have gone to the roof but he was afraid of heights....

BEMY WOMA

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Dumb Shit Tiny Dick Cowa rdly Shit Head Dads Girl

That ain't right...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

And that was only Oriental Ave..... Just think what he gets when she lands on Park Place....

Very windy day here today, 60 mph wind gusts, staying in bed kinda day! Hope you all are having a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Grass fed?... Oh yes ma'am I raise them myself in the pond out back on marijuana...

I used to struggle learning Roman numerals... Until I got to 159. Now it just CLIX

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Many people struggle because some letters stand for more than one number and numbers can be written differently.... CLVIIII, CXXXXCIX

Get to know John Oliver in 6 jokes [facebook.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

I don't have an Assbook account anymore... Mark Fuckerberg is a Nazi scumbag...

Now that's a game changer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Even if you don't smoke it yourself keep some around for her.... Always think of others it pays!

Sorry about that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Ahh so sad too bad the front and rear cameras were on.... Both Karma and technology can be bitches these days...

Finally a place where ordering can be fun again.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

I should open one of these....

Jehovah's Witnesses - take note

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2023:

I want to have one custom made saying:... "I you are affiliated with any religious organization please go to hell..."

Just exactly what the facts are. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2023:

Stuff is liquid crack and should be outlawed...

The smaller the dog, the bigger the reaction to a perceived threat.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2023:

If he showed up at my door he would be toast when my cats ate him alive...

It all depends on what you put in the pot.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2023:

I have so much shit I agree with I can't even post it all...

PETA has eyes and ears everywhere.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2023:

Just showing that monkey some love...

I don't see anything wrong here. Do you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2023:

I would "adopt" them....

May need some air freshener.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Oh shit....

And there is always another perspective. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Better take a dog in with you...

Time for some poetic justice, if you ask me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Hey youtube do we need to use a bigger rock?

Who did this to the nice sign?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Seems a bit harsh for just locking up your bike...

Wow, who would have thought it???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

One reason I stopped driving...

There are many republicans that do enjoy pissing off liberals.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Takes lazy boy chair, 10 cases of microwave popcorn. 2 kegs of beer and rushes to the site "for moral support"

Either way, they'll be saying 'Jesus'

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Hot girl: "Hey Zeus how about you let me play with your lighting rod?..."

Test yourself and get help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

What wine?...

Could it be an explanation for her enigmatic smile :)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Or it might be her vibrator....

Raise you hand if you agree

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Well I can agree since all gods are just a bunch of shit having a good regular shit can do a lot to rid you of religion...

CHD Sues CDC to Obtain Documents on COVID Vaccine Injuries and Deaths Reported in VAERS By ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

"Never under estimate the power of human stupidity..." Robert Heinlein

He has humor, she has no mercy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Ask a stupid question, get a smartass answer every time....

Poetry by the orange turd

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

I will drink to that....

He is not giving up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Yu would think he wood be smart enough to use a burner phone...

Points of the compass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Get lost in those....

I may have found the perfect date for several of you!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Looks like our resident Republican's (Tejas) ex-girlfriend.... the one that took out a restraining order against him...

A Gifted Kid

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

I see adults doing this every day... No wonder so many doors are automatic these days...

Don't shoot!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Chinese should have tried that...

Laura from the South is coming for you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

I wouldn't worry about her much longer FAUX Gnus is about to lose 4.3 billion in defamation lawsuits... Plus lawyer's fees and court costs...

I bet they would sell a lot less of them to men if they did that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Bilbo pants..... "What has it got in its pocketses?...."

State of the nation. People are just trying to feed their families.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Post a picture like that on your city's website and watch how fast they fill in those potholes....

It's raining here and I'm still in bed, sleeping off and on again, greatest weekend I've had in a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2023:

"Does not work or play well with others" That has been me my entire life...

Just one guess

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2023:

The one on the left.... The one on the right joined the Army...

An everyday occurrence in England. 😅😆😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2023:

Every day here in the US as well....

[tiktok.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2023:

Compared to my cats he is a rank amateur...

You won't catch me in this situation!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

I think they are synonyms anyway....

All muscled up...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Now that looks painful....

When you're looking for a muchables partner.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Looks like Homer is out to lunch...

When your badly out played.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

I know exactly how she sucks those souls out of his body...

When your tasts are obvious.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

I wonder how she got her name?....

That man was resourceful

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Next year Bob didn't make it back to camp....

A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers club.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Well her answer was direct and to the points....

Cleanup in Aisle 2

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13yZAjhU0M=ChrisGladbach

Highway to the danger zone. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Cruz is such a stupid putz he deserves this video....

Bored? Want to see an airshow? Spice up your skies!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Add a roil of aluminum foil and a cross bar to the bottom and watch the fun....

I would happily obey. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Scary animals those.... not the dog.

She is in the history books

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Sent this to three people who will receive it when they wake up in the morning... I can see the sprays of coffee already.

It is true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2023:

From what I heard about the goings on during filming there should have been half the crew and cast being charged with crimes...

Free shipping

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Put that screen down and get an instant nose job....

[tiktok.com] I am dead inside 😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 16, 2023:

Son in Law's home?...

You should see what happens to pescatarians.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 16, 2023:

I have heard of people getting corns but that is ridiculous...

Spoken in ALL CAPS for those that are hard of hearing.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 16, 2023:

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................. QUIET!

I think tattoos have gotten out of hand!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 16, 2023:

Just imagine a woman so into dick she has to tattoo them on her face....

A reminder that a closer look is often required.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

And right-wing media isn't even showing you part.... They are just shoveling bullshit.

Gasoline Car Review I recently purchased a Mazda Miata.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

It may be funny now but it 20 more years most young people will think exactly this about gas powered cars...

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

Gad I would have run too...

Long ago, when sailing ships rules the waves, a sea captain and his crew were informed by their ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

What a pisser...

He is a slimy piece of work that needs to be retired to the trash heap of history

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

Gym Jordan needs to be sent in front of a firing squad....

With the upcoming election, I'd like to propose the Republicans update their mascot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

I would suggest a huge pile of shit instead....

I think they are going to tie themselves in knots on this one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 15, 2023:

You have to love the stupid.... Look at all the money you save buying tickets to a comedy club...

Well done.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 14, 2023:

Dog...

Tracey Ullman - Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 14, 2023:

What some women won't do for money....

Cold hearted...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 14, 2023:

I can't imagine who this reminds me of.... oh wait yes I can.... "For @Tejas ."

Will this make a difference?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 13, 2023:

The "C" what a great spot to get wet looks like....

Large Marge, if she only had a brain.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 13, 2023:

It just goes to prove in my mind that McCarthy is a traitor as well....

Advanced World War I Tactics with General Melchett - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 13, 2023:

Worst part is that they still hadn't learned in WW2 the lesson they should have learned in WW1 that standing up and charging an enemy position defended by machine guns is a BAD idea...The Germans had figured it out which accounted for their "blitzkrieg" tactics...

One of my favorite all time movies.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 12, 2023:

Should have put Trump's face on the sheriff and Dubbed in Moron.... "Don't move or I shoot the moron..."

With this I'll call it a night

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 12, 2023:

Where is that vomit emoji you keep promising us?...

Say 'tacos'. It'll increase the chance of getting her back.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 11, 2023:

I guess she farted...

I would have considered myself Chaotic Good but there's no damn way that I'm going to plain sausage ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Outside of the rules.... Polish sausage with ranch and dill pickles...

What's the difference between having sex with a prostitute, your girlfriend and your wife?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Times like that you wonder why get married...

I need this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

I will take one of each...

Lewis Black [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Could have been worse.... They could have had Justin Bieber....

You belong to me, Babe.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Put your baby brother's pajamas back where you found them...

Sign of the times...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Seems like people need instructions about everything these days... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLm3HMG8IhM=Dantheshan

A little poem from my book, "Food for Thought".

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Why I like cats so much.... They shit in the box not in your shoe....

I got the funniest look from my boss last night when he was telling me and my coworkers about a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

That's what he gets for dating his partner's wife....

Eating granny.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

The Floraduh "littler free library" should be sealed with a "banned" sticker and the gun one next to it should be larger and mostly empty....

Get the rolled up newspaper.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Doesn't he mean 5th grade dropout conservative Christian on the Internet?

Christopher Titus [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 9, 2023:

Considering that Trump allowed the Chinese to steal battery technology developed by the Department of Energy.....

Lots of empty space down there…..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 9, 2023:

That balloon is already at least a thousand times as intelligent as she is....

My new roll model...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 9, 2023:

Super Models....

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 8, 2023:

Be thankful it was just his fingers...

Feeling like spending big this Saint Valentine’s Day, boys? We know what women really want.😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 8, 2023:

Fuck Walmart I can get them cheaper than that at either Stater Bros or Smart & Final.... Better quality too.

😍😍😍　　　　　　　　

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 7, 2023:

This is just like the behavior of my cats...

One day at church, a priest delivers a sermon about the importance of forgiving your enemies.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 6, 2023:

I just hand my list of enemies over to Karma and she takes care of them for me... It started out as a very long list and every year it grows much shorter so I just keep adding the names and reading the obituaries. When ever I see one of those names there it brings a smile to my face, a song to my heart and peace to my mind knowing that there is one less piece of shit running around hurting people...