I get it Ron...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Unless of course she has had a Mastectomy...

And teach you a valuable lesson about the occult (that it doesn't work). 😄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Dead foreign language but good if you want to go into the bio-sciences or be a doctor...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Awww shit....

Vladimir Putin consulted with a fortune teller. He asked: "How long will I live?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Hear him roar....

Found this gem! Lol!!! [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

The worst part of their advertising is it is considered a cost of doing business....

Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Come home with me! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Now that will rid the neighborhood of burglars....

I think this pumpkin pie spice has gone a little overboard

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Now that is just sad.... and more than a little nasty...

Just so you know...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2022:

Every time he looks in the mirror... But in his defense he is a little one...

admit it, you sang it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2022:

Nope sorry I am not from Texas.....

Ahem, looks delicious!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2022:

...

I though all my friends here should know.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2022:

I could certainly use one of those about now...

I never gave it much thought, but I bet it would work.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2022:

Or just reset the parental controls to block porn sites....

I went to a little boutique record store that specialized in hard-to-find records.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2022:

Truth in advertising.....

A wasp nest perfectly placed🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2022:

Somebody needs to tell him that isn't what she had in mind when she mentioned a vibrator....

Stole this from Jim Wright's Stonekettle Station. This is what we usually get anymore.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2022:

This has been the case since Nixon got rid of the fairness doctrine and helped create Fox Noise....

PHILADELPHIA—Alarmed and horrified by the dog’s sudden attack, onlookers reportedly screamed ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2022:

Thankfully it wasn't a taco....

Jesse, is that you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2022:

Is it just *acting* like a chemistry book?....

A man had never been to a brothel before, so the first thing he did was talk to several prostitutes ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2022:

As long as it didn't result in a transmission....

Hope it is clear to y'all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2022:

Yeah good luck with that....

I think if you're too dumb to get the message, you deserve to whack your head

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2022:

Bang yo head.....

I have a theory that confirmation bias doesn't really exist .

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2022:

A two year study costing 20 million funded by the pesticide and weed killers manufacturers lobby no doubt....

Happy Wednesday!!! Hope you all have a good evening!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2022:

The drug he is using is called "blue balls" lady....

Names, they can predict the future.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2022:

What happened to scrambled?....

[msn.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2022:

I think he just woke up with "Beer goggle remorse..."

Sometimes you get revelations in the strangest way

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2022:

If you ever want to know what someone is really like just get them drunk and you will know if they are an asshole....

Head towards the cheese, prole.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2022:

In my day I have read a lot of books that reviewers obviously didn't....

Not my music, not my monkeys

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2022:

I call them Kid Schlock and Sgt Shittypants....

I had a music teacher in Jr high that said it was easy to wash his hair, he just took the washcloth ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2022:

I had a receding hairline and was shaving every day at 12 and by 16 could buy beer at any liquor store without being asked for an ID....

Even lacking that sign, they would figure that out PDQ.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2022:

How the gas chamber was invented....

'Gand' in Hindi means ass

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Kardashian sex lube?

I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Canned ham was also a problem during the early days they used to can rotten meat after treating it with embalming fluid...

All you designers out there...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Motorcycle and scooter lane. Those vehicles and ebikes as well as electric motorcycles are becoming a lot more popular these days with oil companies gouging people.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it shocked the hell out of the dog.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Cop: "Now little girl show us on the dog where the priest touched you..."

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man a newlywed on his honeymoon.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Can I introduce you to my ex?... s soon as you say "I do" that "early to bed and rise" crap is over...

Hot Takes: Religion [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2022:

The only thing good about religion is the jokes....

Oops. I may have gotten rid of all my wordly goods a bit too hastily I'm afraid.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2022:

Christianity: redistributing people's wealth for over 1900 years....

Bebop arctic expedition.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2022:

Moe, Larry and the cheese....

If I come back (to work) in three days, that'll be a miracle. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2022:

I need one of those for my house....

Question for the group🤔 If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2022:

More like mass murder if they go trough with it....

Heres how it's done folks

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2022:

I was riding my bike downhill past a Trumpanzee booth selling his crap with two victims standing there being scammed by the two morons pandering to Treason Weasels at about 30MPH and yelled at the top of my voice "FUCK DONNIE DUMBASS" about an hour ago and had the pleasure of seeing them all levitate at least 18 inches into the air.... I hope all four of them pissed their pants and had heart attacks....

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2022:

I had a wife like that.... she is a redhead...

I'll let myself out...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 24, 2022:

My sister minus the blond hair and 2 inches.... Thankfully I was adopted...

Sitting in my hotel room! Hope you all have a good night!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

When I was a kid were had wars with our BB guns....

Christopher Titus [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

Clinton supporters are going to get pissed hearing this one.... Immigration isn't the only thing he fucked us over on....

Oh well

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

Religion making shit up for the last 5,000 years....

You can't take anything with you, why worry about the wrapper

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

https://www.theverge.com/2015/4/27/8503579/sex-toy-urn-golden-dildo

“May those who love us, love us; And for those who don't love us, May God turn their hearts; ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

Mail them it gives you an alibi....

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

Stories like that can melt your heart.....

Just my luck! I decide to take public transportation to work, and this happens...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 23, 2022:

Yeah Texas can be a real pain that way....

Here is a useful life hack: Storing your sex toys in the freezer will remind you of how cold the ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2022:

As well as giving you a case of freezer burn...

ExplosmEntertainment - Ed Gein's Dreamhouse [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2022:

Well that is one way to keep your mother out of your room...

Oldest and wisest works every time! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2022:

Eat em both just in different ways....

Pretty big window.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2022:

Well at least they are prepared for flooding....

McDonald's is selling more than fast food now 🤔😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2022:

Kind of how their food has always smelled to me...

Great advice....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 22, 2022:

Don't forget neighborhood Republicans....

Looks more like you've been kicked out by your missus, mate. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2022:

Looks like she got the dog house too....

Shocking experience...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2022:

Two I talked to yesterday you would have needed a taser....

I said FIGS!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2022:

So much that he cursed a fig tree for not baring fruits during the off season....

Boudreaux, Thibadeaux and Clarence were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2022:

So his wife is going to Greece to go Greek?...

My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2022:

Well that is one way of putting it.... er.... in... or better to say putting it in her...

If some would say that they are really bushed do they want a shaver or a hedge trimmer?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2022:

....

Ouch! That hurt...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2022:

Be careful she might get angry and bite the nose off your face...

John constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism… No matter how bad the ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2022:

Which just goes to prove that how bad a situation is always depends on your prospective....

Beyond Meat COO Arrested After Biting Off the Tip of a Man’s Nose Plant-based meat substitute ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2022:

Not chicken.... pig...

A guy wants a divorce.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2022:

Terrible when you can't find a quiet and peaceful place to have a drink or 10....

MTG never fails to deliver Marianna Pecora, the woman who was kicked by Marjorie Taylor Greene, ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2022:

How lucky she was not to require an amputation in order to save her life....

Mrs. Betty Bowers [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2022:

Bawhahaha... "DeSkankis stunt backfires horribly.... [youtu.be]"

Trump Says Bad Stuff's Gonna Happen. [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2022:

Bad stuff is going to happen to Trump, his family, and most of his buddies for sure....

Latest moves from the republican crowd.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2022:

He forgot his wannabe M-16....

Simple math....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 19, 2022:

Ask Betty... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWqdqkP6jlk

Guy: It hurts when I go like this. Quack on the web: Don't go like that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTvS9lvRxZ8

Happy Sunday!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2022:

I don't think Pat knew it was the people backstage....

awwww such a good man

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2022:

With arms like hers I don't wonder why....

I have to tip my hat to whoever wrote the shirt label that made me laugh.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2022:

Pain in the ass to wash though...

Who's up for a little take out?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2022:

I guess if that is your bag....

Describes a lot of groups today

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2022:

I can't really understand how these Christian "anti-Darwinism" and other anti-science posts stay up on supposedly "academic" sites....

It kind of stings sometimes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2022:

Happens to me all the time...

She made the deadline!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 17, 2022:

For me every day is a muggy day.... and it can never be too muggy.

He really didn't think this one through!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2022:

Go Darwin go!

Blokes don't do mind-reading - Fact. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2022:

Girl do you really want to be the one laying there in a fed full of chip crumbs?....

much nicer memory [tiktok.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2022:

How insulting .... To Grandpa Munster....

Happy Thursday!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Probably would have been better off marrying a prison pen pal than my ex-wife....

He answered the question.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Lucky guy mine was a pain in the ass....

Latest if you missed the news......

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Always has to be a fall guy....

Nailed it!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Now that is what I call healthy exercise....

T-boy was delivering papers to an apartment house over dere in Montegut.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Women have it easy all they have to do is be there.... We have the hard part, trying to keep from cuming before we get started....

Looking back in hind sight...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 15, 2022:

At least they got a bang out of it....

Some companies just do it all!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Aren't orgies essentially openings of a sort?....

Just out. Anyone seen it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

No but I want to very much....

Twins separated at birth?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

One is crazy and the other is just a bit eccentric....

God, I hate it! It's so annoying! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

They teach them that in marketing to increase sales because people have to keep wandering through the store to find what they need it increases impulse buying.

It's your problem, not mine.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I am #1.....

Just so you know!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

You finally noticed did you?

Lift with your legs.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Check the driver's ID first....

Pups could be in trouble.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

The better be careful he might get the munchies and mistake them for hotdogs....

Comedy Show Goes Off the Rails - Steve Hofstetter [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Taco Hell...... Still better than working for Delta....

Yes, you are worth a risk.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2022:

....

Now that the Queen has died, you will no longer receive a letter from her when you turn 100.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2022:

Something about his "long spear?..."

This maybe the origin of 'Mary had a ....'

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2022:

Stick a fork in it that lamb is done....

Yup...I'm feeling it!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 13, 2022:

And the worst part of all is when parts start falling off...