Some people get better looking with age, but some never do.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2022:

I love those easy recipes....

It was a simple question

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

Yet the Chinese engineers draw a rat on roller-skates and call it an "elephant..."

How can you not help? My heart goes out to him....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

Looks to be a worthy cause...

Skirt or Kilt?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

Just look for the one with the Claymore and Dirk....

Canadian Things François Bellefeuille · 3d · Two Canadians die and end up in Hell.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

So then Canadians can get deported from Hell.....

In Moscow, a nun was standing on a corner waiting for a bus.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

Can't say I blame those guys Putin is giving them one day of training before sending them into a meat grinder...

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s when they struck up a conversation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

It's a dog's life....

I'm not coming out, mate. It's bloody cold outside. May the Force be with you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

It is in the 50s' and raining which is making my knee hurt like a bastard even inside so good luck...

I always wondered about the origins

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2022:

125,000 years and still drooling...

Come on John....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

Excellent product placement....

[tiktok.com] Where is the lie 🙄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

Video won't play for me...

Karen from the South

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

Fuck you Karen I bet you heard that bullshit on Fox the fake news channel.... How about we put you on public assistance and in subsidized housing and see how you like it....

A 'Coming of Age' story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

But nothing like the trouble that pussy is going to give you with a wedding ring....

Where is this at? I want it bad.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

Free head with every purchase?...

What about men's rights?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

I am betting they would regret that.... sitting on a pissed on seat could be more irritating than having the seat up....

A little self promotion here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

Having married a Redhead I can safely say this is bullshit...

You know when your having a bad day...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2022:

I talk to myself all the time because sometimes it is the only way I can get an intelligent conversation...

Us white guys can frequently miss the obvious. Sorry.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

*snorts* New temp....

This is part of a comedy series I did called Creepy Priest. [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

Father Leighy who?....

By special arrangements

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

Why women sportscasters wear high heels....

Have you heard about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

This joke is so old and moldy you could make Penicillin out of it....

I only get morning wood

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

And the girls all say... "Lie to me Pinocchio!..."

Tat for tit?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

A little on the scary side those two....

This one is for all the COVID, Anti Vax, MAGA Conspiracy Theorists - Relax it was all just a bad ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

Bet the Republicans here actually believe this one....

Q: Why are the pyramids in Egypt? A: Because they were too heavy to take to the British Museum.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv6tuzHUuuk

Remember, next time you hate your life, it's all about perspective.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

It isn't just here either.... Seems the whole world is full of morons these days.

Mark Zuckerberg 2025

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

Wife made him have the babies did she?...

Are you with me?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

I could be doing one of the other three right now but at the moment the ones available are not the kind I want to be tied up with and they all know where I live.... Restraining orders are hard to come by here because this is the Inbred Empire...

Ho H Ho, the Christmas is coming to town

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2022:

Mmmmm chunky style...

But where is the beef?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

Going to have to find that book for my library...

Fuck Jesus

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

I know a couple guys named Jesus and they are pretty cool guys ....

A new Texas dating app

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

For when you are just looking for a quick bang....

Can somebody help her?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

If she wears it in a pony tail and turns around I am sure guys will notice...

Scissorhands can do things but...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

What a cut up....

Where is the holiday spirit, damn it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

Dad; That is because your mom is so frigid she makes the north pole seem like Hawaii during the summer...

Time for a little comic relief

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

You know he is going to be slow when you need to put one on him to keep him from drowning....

Christmas invites are coming.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

Damn those little rats are destructive....

This really doesn't need a caption, but give it a try

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

Just his speed....

Kirk got what he was asking for.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBOAjXvFei4

Do you know Shane's pain?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

He must be looking for a Christian girl....

Look what you did

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

I would have hated feeling left out...

If we only knew to keep those markings🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

Some people never change....

Now that is doing your ad placement research

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2022:

Only thing that would make that funnier would be if that were a Catholic church bus...

The printout in my journal has this day as Immaculate Conception.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2022:

God's Diary... "Today I raped a 12 year old virgin named Mary.... boy did she ever squeal on me it cause all kinds of nonsense..."

Late Christmas due to unforeseen circumstances...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2022:

No blood spatter?....

No doubt looking for a gull friend.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2022:

Damned paywalls....

Happy Wednesday! I'm about to test my mom for covid! Wish us luck! Lol!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

Kanye West.... LMFAO....

There once lived a strong, Native American man who had only one testicle Everyone in the village ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

Depends on the size of the stone and the position of the birds....

One great dad. 😍😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

There is nothing a father wouldn't do for his daughter or granddaughter...

Loud and clear?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

Nothing is ever clear to that narcissistic little twat.... He figures he can always buy his way through life because up until now it has always worked for him.

It's big in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 are you sharing your birthday party pictures again?......

Give her room

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

Well so much for rumors....

The family is at the dining table.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

And that ain't all the priest did in the night.....

It's that time of year AGAIN!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

Cats in my house are SOL because I don't have dogs and only cat trees...

Is it Wednesday yet? 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2022:

Compared to Republicans?.... The bats are right...

Say no more, He got it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

Close in spirit but wide of the mark.....

A nun gets into a cab She notices the cab driver staring at her and she asks, "Why are you ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

Trick or treat.....

It's not rocket science...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

For some people it might as well be rocket science.... My Vet has a sign that reads "Push" on it even though they have a BiSexual one that swings both ways....

[tiktok.com] Where is the lie ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

Why do you think when a guy wants to have sex with you they sometimes say "want to go crazy baby?"

Spelling is important...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

They misspelled 'pasties....' or did they mean 'panties?...'

There is always a way...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

I have PTSD as a built in excuse.... I just say "I am having a brain fart and can't think of the fucking word because of the damned PTSD..." That way people know I am not stupid just dealing with what for many of us is a major disability...

I DEMAND a litter box!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 6, 2022:

Only a Q-nut could possibly believe shit like this....

Works for believers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

When you haven't got a prayer anyway what do you have to lose?...

I get hungry every time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

I love bacon....

Try a home remedy first

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

Doesn't that depend on what she does during the day?...

Make my day, punk. 😆 [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

France has gotten used to pranksters after Remi Gaillard... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvYxXBMqEOM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeFKO3Fsdzw

That's not nice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

Today is the day he calls the city and they get a huge fine....

Seasonal favorite.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

Merry Fakemas...

I give him an A plus...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

Damned right Bob has diabetes after all those candy bars! A++

Professor's answer

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2022:

Put the beautiful naked young woman in the middle.... problem solved.

It works !!! Limited stock.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyaRIAAyYaU

Visiting down under? Be careful.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

Looks like a sign you would see in Floriduh....

So Precious, they just don't understand that not everyone wants to believe in their imaginary ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

And Christians are just angry at Harry Potter.... oh wait....

I don't understand

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

Can you show me?....

But is anybody listening?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

Maybe a couple of screws?....

That's strange

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

Which just goes to show that things aren't all just Black and White anymore....

... Sorry.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

Why do I doubt you....

Finally out!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZuHAsf6qO0

There you have it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

She said little not tiny...

From history archives

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

Not so far from the truth either...

Now, for today's lesson in punctuation...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2022:

The guy who could singlehandedly keep the cartels in the black....

I spent a lot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

Most men learn this lesson when they get married.... Free pussy is invariably the most expensive kind...

She is very giving

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

How to turn a bad day into a great one....

Meanwhile in Israel

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

They should mail those to every Evangelical in the country.... Daily...

[tiktok.com] My contribution to xmas coming up 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

I always liked little dumbass boy growing up.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Tx6AcaJHko

Something to share with your relatives that put these up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

If it had been a redneck those would have been cans of "Freedom" beer....

Ok, it suddenly occured to me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

I will take why so many marriages end in divorce for 1,000 Alex.....

Brits are not the best party animals in the world. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

Except for the women I hear.... Seems they love to "experiment" probably because the men bore them silly....

Very close to truth

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

Actually that would have been the Army.... Only they would have tried to invent a pigeon guided missile..... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Pigeon

Which one of U sick bastards would leave a 2 on the bathroom Floor!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2022:

Don't look at me I would have left it as a floater....

How I am after remote working every day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2022:

Some days I could use a massage like that....

I have so many ideas...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2022:

..

I will take the red

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2022:

Beer....

Working hard...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2022:

Sent this to my son in law.... he is out driving a UPS truck today.

Kanye is driving Alex Jones crazy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2022:

Alex Jones is so broke I doubt he is going to be around much longer anyway and then what will Kanye do for publicity?.....

Music is powerful

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2022:

And what do you listen to?.... Milli Vanilli?

Ford is built tough?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2022:

A Chevy would have been totaled...

Respect privacy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2022:

Adds a whole new dimension to getting some pussy...

Here is looking at you kid

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2022:

...

This is serious

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2022:

Brother or cousin?....