a Halloween idea

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2022:

Sent this to a friend who is 4' 11" standing up or lying down and blond....

Boudreaux walks into a bar and has a couple of beers.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2022:

If you are taking the risk anyway go for the profit....

How many DNA samples did this guy have to send in?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2022:

Don't you just hate DIY?...

i'll take you all with me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2022:

And just think you don't have to pay for cremation after the accident....

It's Halloween Witches!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2022:

Halloween the time of years when women dress up as Harley Quinn or a witch and you suddenly realize "that ain't no fucking costume after all..."

Aka soap 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 24, 2022:

I had a receding hairline since the age of twelve so I now have a face that extends to the back of my head. This has saved me a fortune in haircuts and shampoo costs over the years....

I'm not saying not to visit, but make sure that you really want to come.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2022:

For Morons and JWs....

Language can be tricky.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2022:

Good answer kid..... I wouldn't want them either after what happened to your brother...

Pity the poor teachers, they have to ask loaded questions

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2022:

Maybe dad just got smart after mom popped out that brat is all....

Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2022:

With her husband no doubt...

At the end of his sermon each week Father Richards offered an altar call, inviting anyone who needed...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2022:

He should be looking for a good lawyer going to a priest for help is about as useful as an eruption in a super-volcano...

Well what more can I say 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 23, 2022:

Put a generator on that new door and the UK would have a new source of clean cheap electrical power that would solve many of its problems....

A smattering of old ones

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 22, 2022:

Fuck you Alice you rub his belly.... from the inside!

Good observation. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2022:

An English sconer....

Sometimes you just need a small prompt to say the right thing.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2022:

Whatever happened to a good old fashioned, simple "go fuck yourself?..."

Aahhh...Sweet memories

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 21, 2022:

Starting them out early....

You all are invited!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

I should do that here....

Just added

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

Being a sociopathic moron required....

Is marriage overrated?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

What the fuck do you care you care only here to scam people out of money which makes you the ultimate lowlife...

Hey everybody say hello to our latest loser scammer fucktard @sonia01212 using celebrity pictures ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

Update the ignorant Indian love scammer has changed the name on his profile to @Trucia01 but is still using pictures of Sandee Westgate... https://agnostic.com/user/Trucia01

A man calls the police and reports that his girlfriend has gone missing A male and a female ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

I'll take a lot of one thousand of those tables please.... I can make a fortune auctioning them on EBay one at a time...

Upside down shark photos.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

Guy Shark Masks...

A big old Indian was sitting in a bar out west when a dirty hippy came in.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 20, 2022:

Little Buffalo Fucker?

Dave is costing us too much - time to let him go!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2022:

I have actually worked for companies that used that kind of thinking and they wondered why they were losing money....

Did you know this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2022:

And people wonder why the human race is going to be extinct soon....

Technologically speaking 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2022:

Sounds to me like his wife got a new dishwasher...

We are all in trouble!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEB_nXW9s0M

Trick or treat...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2022:

Just wait unit he tries to collect from the massage parlor down the street....

Already a long week for me! Hope you enjoy the rest of your week!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 19, 2022:

Re: #4 or any type of small penis vehicle showoff....

No wonder it is so time consuming

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2022:

I figure why put away what I am going to be wearing soon anyway?....

Black cat boogie.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2022:

My cats don't stare they trample....

Poor choice....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 18, 2022:

Takes "oh shit" to a whole new level...

Time to clean out the car

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2022:

Well at least the puppy had plenty of French fries to eat....

will never get tired of these

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2022:

The original one trip, one way airplane in WW2.... Also the Zero...

I heard that a massive cold wave was on the way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2022:

Taco Bell....

Pride and embarrassment 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2022:

Those Gummy Bears must be THC infused if you believe that....

Answer me this...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2022:

Depends what kind of idiot you have been listening to that day....

Can you say "oh shit!"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 17, 2022:

And it didn't even have to hit the fan this time....

[facebook.com] This certainly made me laugh

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 16, 2022:

That is the main reason I think I was kidnapped as a child by an exceptionally retarded alien species for study....

Avoiding the trauma!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 16, 2022:

Must be a cop hangout....

Corvids are such comedians.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2022:

Yeah #2 about sums up the way the Russians have been fighting and why the Ukraine is not going to surrender or even compromise now. Putin is going to fall off a tall building soon which is why he moved his mistress and kids out of Russia already....

Personally, I can't pass up a good creme brulee either.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2022:

Then don't order the chocolate pudding....

When you're stuck in English Lit for life!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2022:

Apparently the tattoo artist didn't do well in English grammar....

A cook from a Chinese restaurant gets married and the bride is a virgin.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2022:

So where is his beef?....

Alex Jones did a rant on chemicals in water making frogs gay.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2022:

Considering how badly he is losing his court cases he may not be around to laugh at much longer....

Follow me for more advise....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2022:

Unless of course there are people standing around annoying you....

Something like that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2022:

Or has become just another loser...

Kids tell the truth

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2022:

And don't forget priests.....

T-Boy died and arrived in Hell.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2022:

Bye bi T-Boy.....

Old age hazard, be careful.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2022:

Also they will suck the oxygen out of the room before you can get them all lit.....

Now that is how to get an advanced civilization.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2022:

Never too young to get a good education....

I'll let myself out....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2022:

"I'll let myself out...." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTRKCXC0JFg

Mrs. Betty Bowers [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2022:

Deven Green is a riot.... I would love to have a athletic romp with her in a motel on Highway 91

Funny but serious. Dr. Strangelove, Russian style.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2022:

The Russians won't launch because the Ukraine has more nukes than they do.... That and nobody would take them in if they did and both countries were uninhabitable...

Good morning!!! Hope you all have a good day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2022:

That last one is a fact except that it is not just out parents they have done it too...

Safety first!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2022:

Did he leave feet first?....

There's A loooot going on here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2022:

Porn is better than Jesus... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTJvdGcb7Fs

Relationship Status.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2022:

Blueberry muffin and coffee for breakfast and dinner for two now... On the bright side another 10 pounds and I have met my weight goal and I don't have anyone complaining about my cooking.

Burglars are getting creative.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2022:

Sounds like an ex-wife to me....

Smells funny, too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2022:

LMAO@ The food pyramid....

A Warning in Public Interest Guys, please careful about what you buy online.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2022:

Burned him good didn't they..... As we all know people never read the instructions.

Happy genocidal European pieces of shit day.... [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2022:

I can smell the butthurt over the Internet....

Second opinion...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2022:

New career opportunity... Robot Proctologist ..

Excellent observation, I must say. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2022:

Well there goes any chance of getting laid by women who see this post...

When you expect too much from AI. It was a good day, there's a second batch on the way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2022:

Love that Columbus meme....

There are two identical twin brothers that live together.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2022:

If the brother only knew maybe he would clean up his act....

A judge addressed a drunkard in a court.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2022:

Judge should have been a bit more careful in how he worded the charges....

A slow day at the London sperm bank yesterday. three came on the bus and three missed the tube.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 9, 2022:

If that keeps up they are going to be filing for bank-ruptcy soon...

You are invited...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 9, 2022:

Sending this one to a friend who just watched it...

I've just got too many cars!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Just buy a garage and build an apartment in it...

Oh, to my __________ insert deity. These people are shameless.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Ahhh yes the people of Walshart.... Not so much shameless as disgusting and tasteless...

Travel to the beach worry free

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Butt plug not included....

A small town charm

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

At least you know the best ones available for dating...

His faith in humanity

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Common excuse for driving the wrong way on a one way street... "But officer I was driving only one way the other guy just came out of nowhere and hit me head on..."

🤔That would be fun. To watch. 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

They would probably shoot you for stealing donuts... Cops get nasty when they are hungry.

Well, if you eliminate all the other things, what's left is what is causing it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

#3 is me anywhere on the Internet...

make over time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Out of the toilet?....

Confidence, it's catching.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

And if it did the wheels would fall off before they made it to the runway...

Jimmy Johns is kinky

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

That would be 20.32 cm which makes it seem bigger...

Check out my new shoes...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Nice loafers I bet they cost a bit of bread...

and Pacific NW With our ferry system there is a funny problem.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

"I will take why I am allergic to stupid people for a thousand Alex..."

B sharp. It's just A minor problem. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Where is that damned vomit emoji?....

Now you know...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2022:

Oh Gud he must be a Scientologist...

Positive thinking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2022:

Oh Doomsday preppers....

It's Friday bitches!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2022:

I remember a lot of coworkers I wanted to slap on a daily basis...

A man walks out to the street in New Orleans and catches a taxi just going by.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2022:

I bet I can name one mistake Frank made....

Secretive, unable to take criticism and prone to violent outbursts - just like the primitive goat ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2022:

Remember that Florida....

A burglar had just broken into a house and was stealing anything he could get his hand on.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2022:

The rest of the crew was his pet Mountain Loin named Oh Shit, His Orangutan named Fuck Me in the Ass, along with his pair of vultures Eat and Me...

What until they see a typewriter!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Those, no Internet and computers costing almost as much as a good car while not being very useful is why I never really started using a computer until about 15 years back and was self taught at the start. I still have my first computer an old AMD single core minus the CRT that is still functional....

Any Marvel fans out there?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

I am Poot....

What happens when you hold your bottle with both hands.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Hey isn't that Donnie Dumbass's getaway car?...

Technically, she can't be a bonehead..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

I just sent "I pulled grandpa's finger" to my granddaughter....

Break time memes!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

The fox news and toilet paper ones were my favorites....

From one of my Irish homies.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Dad was hard of herring....

Engineering everywhere

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Well if the ring with the diamond is for her he is marrying a pain in the ass.....

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Catholics say "confession is good for the soul" and that may be true (providing so unlikely a thing as a soul exists) but it doesn't help keep your dumbass out of jail...

Just a Wednesday night! Hope you all are having a good one!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2022:

Love "Compost the rich..." An idea whose time has come...

Latest research has found....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2022:

Question being would you really want to score a BJ in a trailer park?.....

Lies, Heman lies. OK, maybe not.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2022:

Herman the German?...

Futurama - Place where the Construction doesn't mean squat. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2022:

Thanks to the GQP that is about the size of things at the moment....