My dear friend Berat's honeymoon is tomorrow. I told him not to think wrestling.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2021:

Yeah lay off the roids they make your winky tiny....

This would give me a fright!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

I want that tree next to the street in front of my house.... At night we have people speeding by all night long and half of them are trying to get out of town after the bars close and the cops catch them....

Not mine but thought id share

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

Read it and weep.... https://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-roundup-true-false-194714534.html

Not mine but thought id share

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

So Trump releases 5,000 members of the Taliban including their leader and makes an agreement to abandon Americans and Afghanistan people who worked with Americans to the Taliban in May while Biden has worked to extend that deadline and get people out so he gets blamed?....

Unnecessarily unnecessary.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

Now that is the schizz....

you know she wants some of it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

I knew a guy in the Marines who got arrested in Australia for doing something like that.... When the duty officer went to get him out the cop told him that "he wasn't right in the head" so the duty officer told him in a Daffy duck voice "thank you very much" as they were leaving and almost got arrested himself... I always wonder when people talk about Australian humor if they even realize that it doesn't really exist....

Thought this was spot on!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

"What if?....."

I really hope she likes it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

....................

For "women of few words" who are shy and internalize feelings.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

"Hey honey I am taking 300.00 out of your checking account to pay a hooker..." His tee shirt

That would drive them nuts

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

Bill Gates owns the company that makes it....

hell yeah it is

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

Glad they finally legalized it in my state....

Stop horsing around and get vaccinated you moron.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

Since he was a horse's ass maybe he thought it would help....

Majority of Atheists Believe There May Be Intelligent Life on Other Planets A recent study ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

.................

No money, eat cheap. Duh.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 27, 2021:

Well I guess he is just going to have to take the bull by the horns is all....

Know the feeling? Just one last problem. How can I get rid of that drone? 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 27, 2021:

camouflage netting....

New anti-vaxxer costume just dropped

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 27, 2021:

...........................

New album

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 27, 2021:

..........

Our government's budget cuts really starting to hit.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

Been happening since Tricky Dick took office and gotten worse each year with both parties in a race to the bottom with austerity economics and trickle down mentalities....

Anyone lost a dog?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

Awwwww doggy has his boner....

How about a "Fuck off you moron" card

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

No fucks given card from me...

Apparently, they are all female news presenters in America.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

"News presenters?" Since when did Fox start doing the news?....

You have to be supportive, every girl needs a friend like him.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

Wonder where he is going to set her down....

Real heroes don't wear capes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

For shoving a 2X4 up his ass?....

To all those that think getting a shot to protect others is an infringement on their rights

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

Antivaxxers are the feral street dogs of humanity...

Did that hurt ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

Mary says it doesn't work for COVID...

Involuntary exercise

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

Next time try spike strips....

Me in the morning

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

For me it is caffeine and medical marijuana...

Forgetful Mr potatoehead

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

The far right Qanon conspiracy theorists are still looking for Mr. Potatohead's dick....

Another groaner for wednesday

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

Every day is the same old shit....

That actually may work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

I say we trade the unvaccinated for refugees...

Ship sailed and sank

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

And if you think the vaccine is going to cause you to mutate that ship sailed long ago...

I don't like it that much either, but jeez.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2021:

My father was a Navy veteran and used to walk around the house singing "In the Navy" when that song came out.... But he firmly believed Liberace was straight....

I’m surprised it didn’t happen in Tennessee first! We seem to be on the cutting edge.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

In Alabama they are replacing doctors with horse vets....

I don't think this would be popular

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

I know some people who would love this app....

No longer the sunshine state.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

Floraduh has always been the "what the fuck was this moron thinking" state....

He did that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

Nope the fossil fuel industry is doing that.... Gad how gullible and foolish people are...

And we know who they are

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

On the bright side they are removing themselves from the gene pool and providing us with a bit of comedy....

Scientists claim...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

The only completely useless sciences are "creation science" and Scientology...

Dr. Fauci, look here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

Too bad she has tits for brains....

Yup mine too , aggravating

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

Between auto correct and auto complete I don't know which is a bigger pain in the ass...

When you don't want the party to end, Florida edition! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

So then he mistook it for bring your own pussy night did he?....

Please be vigilant

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2021:

Looks more like Santa is cumming early this year...

The Hero, The Leader, The God

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2021:

I suspect this satire was unintentional and they actually didn't realize how stupid this made them look...

Satin Hands!! 666

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2021:

And after that "handy date" you should always take yourself out to dinner....

Communication is key

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Always get your licks in first...

Seems appropriate and funny

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Dead on....

I can relate to that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Please mate responsibly and don't breed Trumpanzees....

Franklin, TN - Now we know where it started!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

...................

Awwww!!! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Know newts is good newts....

Good advice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

.....................

Objects in mirror are ruder than they appear.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2021:

I see he put his name on those plates....

A man walks into an Indian restaurant. The waiter asks, “have you ever ordered here before?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2021:

Must have been a Trump owned restaurant....

Biden Asks Taliban to Trade One Stephen Miller for One Million Afghan Refugees

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2021:

Would have been better asking them to trade Trumpanzees for refugees...

Checks out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

I presented this meme in class during my English arguments presentation for a circular argument and you could see those eyes spinning in the students as the concept registered.... Thankfully the professor was an atheist as well and ended up with an A+ for the entire class...

Basically true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

And now one of Hillary's clowns in congress is working with the GQP to block reinvestment in the economy so we will likely end up with the looney toons from the far right running congress again... Haven't the Clintons done enough damage to this country yet?

Good humor and true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

And she wondered why we got divorced....

Yes a little creepy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

Along with a case of Chianti and some fava beans....

It sure does

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

..................

Wonder if this would work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

I wish so I wouldn't have to haul stuff up a damned ladder...

Yeah we would watch it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

A startrek, starwars, Jewish, Vulcan Jedi... Sounds legit...

Just like many kids before

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

At my age when I pick up a stick it is my cane...

If you really think about it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Now that is a scary woman.....

Maybe it's spelled Ah, men!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

...................

Is that how it started

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Reminds me of so many of the people I used to work with.... One of the reasons I would end up quitting jobs was idiots like that getting paid more that I was and often being my supervisors....

Some thoughts lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Far too sane and tame to be the voices in my head....

Satire from the Middle.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2021:

It is the damned so-called middle who keeps selling out to the same Wall Street billionaires that have created this mess... There is a progressive left but we actually have two right-wing parties. The Reagan wing of the DNC headed by the Clintons and the Trump Neo-Nazi wing of the GOP...

That would work in the south

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2021:

Surprised some of them in the South don't keep the meth stash with the kids...

Or you laugh, awkwardly, pretending that you get it. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2021:

I used to use some off the wall insults in school that took people several minutes to figure out they had been insulted... and how badly. Funny as hell when they finally did and completely lost it.

Interesting area in Ireland

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

Wonder how many men will find it....

Could be Makes sense

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

So amusing when people like Greg Abbot end up with COVID along with a huge standing room only crowd of his donors....

Dad joke alert! This is terrible! Where is the groan button, Admin?! 🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

.......................

That could be a problem

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

Nothing like a little pussy....

New picture needed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

Baby picture?...

Ken got even

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

From Mattel's "Angry Cuckold Ken" collection I guess...

Another laugh but frown at the same time.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Sad how the freedom they want is to force their beliefs on everyone else while endangering everyone around them with their arrogant ignorance....

Always heartbreaking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades....

Today is " Magic 8 ball " day, 130 points to go...I've been a 7 waaay too long!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

...........................

Thoughts and prayers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Snots and Bears...

Imagine that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Wouldn't they be playing Squash?... The balls are smaller than golf and they get to slap them around....

Another Groaner for you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

I thought it was Jesus....

Beware of the police dog

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Meth dog.....

The more people we can put into space, the more people are going to realize how fragile our planet ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Air is expensive in space.... When they run out of money they will know what "I can't breathe" really means...

Can't argue with that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Or grandparents either.....

Maybe he's just too sensitive 🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

No access to lube in prison maybe that is his problem...

Yeah many need to learn this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

They should be exiled from the country and never allowed to return... The only thing they contribute is death from disease and domestic terrorism...

Raw humor? :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Looking forward to them infesting themselves with parasites.... Makes me wonder if those parasites can survive off a parasitic host....

Not mine but though id share

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

From the party that brought us more domestic terrorism than all other terrorist groups combined....

Good morning

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

A real minute man she has there....

Grueling schedule!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Daily schedule at my house....

If they want to reject masks and vaccines, then they shouldn't be taking up hospital beds and ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2021:

Written by the man who tried to profiteer of the pandemic by purchasing Gilead stock and failed...

What the did I just read?! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2021:

Yet the Chinese are according to many the smartest people in the world...

It would be good if he Topol'd and fell! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2021:

Diddler on the roof?...

It's amusing to me when this happens (mostly FB, not here).

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

And then he wonders why he gets laughed at...

Anyone know what time the Reinstatement happens?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Making progress....

I am a bit of a social media LEGEND now

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Christian grammar....

Paddy is smart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Well once again Paddy got it wrong....

Wouldn't a photo be better?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

"I'd buy that for a dollar..."

When she said, "I won't ask you again", I think she meant it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

OK I will just leave it down while I piss....

The News of the week.....its getting stranger. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Another Fox parody but not a very good one....

And people wonder why I took an early retirement

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

I was lucky if I could work for someone for 6 whole months without saying "fuck this shit I quit"