... Q

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2020:

We have a desperate need for both the barf and groan emojis here....

Not too bright.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2020:

Anyone have her phone number?....

I don't know when the fix will be in, but you can post memes by putting up your post, the replying ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2020:

...................................

Since we can't post memes yet I will post this instead and see how many people shit themselves ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2020:

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Is it just me, or is anyone else having issues with posts?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2020:

Having the same problem it must be a site glitch....

Split-screen America?[agnostic.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2020:

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The last report of the pandemic! ...😄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2020:

How the church tells you it will be....

Might be awkward.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2020:

Target now in the new Walmart format....

Let's Play A Game. What's YOUR alpha-numeric code??

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2020:

14A

So, much, much slower than a snail's pace. Gotcha.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2020:

Actually in that time period "organized" armies used to travel at 10 miles a day....

More Python.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2020:

Then when you run out of food tell the kids... "Shut up Timmy and eat your toilet paper...."

Nailed It!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2020:

Re: Number 1 that was me as a kid....

Part of my indoctrination as a believer was that humans have souls and other creatures do not.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2020:

I read the bible as a kid and was openly an atheist by the time I was nine years old. The inane rambling nonsense being spewed by the Sunday school teachers, preachers and the bible itself was so contradictory and hateful I could never really figure out why other people could believe that shit. I also heard the nonsense about animals not having souls while people did and as a cat person that alone convinced me that Christ-Insanity was nothing but a bunch of bullshit...

😂😂😂 My clients right there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2020:

That dog looks like... "Just wait until you go to sleep tonight...."

Sorry... Sorry... Sorry Canada

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2020:

Police in the United States could learn something from Canada.... It would be so much better if when a cop wrote you a ticket if he/she said "sorry" at the very least they don't have to be dicks about it...

Lord Smudge!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2020:

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Three wise monkeys?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2020:

Should have been a jockstrap...

Hop hop hop....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2020:

....................................

... ... Yes. . . . Sorry..o

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2020:

If a member of Canada's military has to shoot someone do they apologize first or afterwards?...

Good kitty...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2020:

I always said cats are smarter than people...

Another missed opportunity...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2020:

This election should be titled "A Tale of Two Rapists..."

I lost a friendship earlier this year.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2020:

It might be that he is worried because you are still married and is afraid your husband and family might blame him because you are no longer a believer...

That's the plan, Stan.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2020:

For those of you with neighbors sneaking into your backyard at night to use your hot tub without asking might I suggest adding a bit of Rit dye to the dish soap you place in the filter basket?... Just remember to keep the camera rolling so you can upload it to youtube....

I accidentally killed my fish that I’ve had for over 2.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2020:

Accidents happen sweetheart I am sure this was not a malicious act on your part you don't seem the sort to do that sort of thing. If you were you wouldn't feel bad about it...

Mysterious ways and all that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 7, 2020:

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Hey guys, good tip for disinfecting the house!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 7, 2020:

As a kid I actually put dish soap in a jacuzzi just before the neighbor had a pool party.... I tripped the breaker first since it was after dark and then added the soap so when the party started the whole yard filled with bubbles because it seems that some glycerine was somehow added to the mix as well....

Some movies to look forward to.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2020:

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Learn the proper terminology.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2020:

I tried causal sex once but my blue jeans made it impossible....

So what is your answer?...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2020:

My guess is some people didn't see Bill's answer....

With ranks in the Air Force being Airman and the Navy being Seaman, will the rank in the Space Force...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2020:

Nope "Space Cadet..." is what they will be called... Slang term will be "Spacey" and slang for launches will be "getting high" or "getting spaced out..."

Afterlife surprise!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2020:

Actually Einstein was NOT a Christian he thought of the universe itself as god.... Pan-deism was more his style...

How's everyone doing?? I'm 7

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2020:

6

Baaaad hair day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2020:

Willard.... Just sayin...

Just a little Trunk humor. And no, it's Trunk on purpose...😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2020:

Re: #3 that of course was his IQ test.... Re #4 it is already true after all he is brain dead....

Social distancing....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2020:

Better be careful ladies or he might figure out that Hoover does it better....

Don't tell him!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2020:

..........................

Even the pets are getting judgmental

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2020:

https://twitter.com/TheNathanOne/status/1245550282509094912?s=20

At least the computer is safe. 😃

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2020:

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If I had to do what she has to do!...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2020:

Looks more like she is constipated and trying to push out a big turd....

You know they’re waiting...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2020:

And this is unusual?....

They are finally showing themselves.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2020:

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Just broke off an 11 year friendship (with a self proclaimed Christian of course) over this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2020:

Typical of a Christian always accusing others of their lives being fucked up while whining about how fucked up their own is.... Just like a diaper most of them are self absorbed and full of shit.

Last but not least....you know where to find me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 26, 2020:

...........................

Where's your God now?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 26, 2020:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 26, 2020:

................................

Will the virus set me free?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2020:

Yeah but who is going to feed him?...

Good analogy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2020:

At least you can always find spam.... https://youtu.be/mBcY3W5WgNU

NO!!!! PLEASE! NOOOOOO!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2020:

I am sure they have other plans first....

You've have to be special to get the real stuff around here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2020:

Keep them on the porch for the neighbors who want to borrow toilet paper....

PRESIDENTIAL QUOTES...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2020:

...........................

Hmm...I wonder.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 19, 2020:

That would add a whole new dimension to the phrase "getting your nut off..."

boomer remover

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 19, 2020:

Went in for my primary appointment yesterday and my temp was 98 degrees.... Bugs that bite me die a horrid death.... #IVotedForBernieToSaveYourAss....

YouTube has many atheists that produce content.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2020:

Edward Current though he hasn't been active lately... https://youtu.be/P47OC439x88

Church memes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2020:

I hear Altarboys are still on the menu as well...

Seven family members fatally shot in North Carolina

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2020:

Gad I hated that state when I was stationed there.... And from what I hear it has only gotten worse.

To true...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2020:

All the books in mine are of the first three or the last category... I am also looking for many of those I have lost over the years due to damage or people "borrowing" them without bothering to return them... Or just plain lost due to being homeless for a time...

This is a post I posted onto my Facebook.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

"Think of it as evolution in action..." Larry Niven

There’s always a bright side!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

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Yes, glorious leader...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

Arnold was always an asswipe....

Breaking news...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

More like never happened...

They like living in close quarters.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

I guess those chickens were in the dog house....

I started a new green company.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

Reminds me of the guy in boy scouts who wiped his ass with poison ivy....

Mexican beer company changes name.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

Limes change their names to avoid association with Lyme disease... New name.... Melanoma

Feel free to write your number.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2020:

Just North of half a billion.... :D

Happens way too often.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2020:

"Watch for men leaning on shovels..."

Pretty good price...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2020:

Where is the vomit emoji when you need it?....

It'll do in pinch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2020:

......................

Works for me!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2020:

Been doing that most of my life.... I have always been ahead of my time...

Yes sir....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2020:

.................

Hop hop pass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2020:

Taste the rainbow...

Trump stating that he “didn’t know people died from the flu”.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2020:

I hope he gets the flu....

The racism and the ignorance in this country never fail to simultaneously amaze and disappoint me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2020:

Fucking Trump and Biden voters make me want to puke.... I hear Trump is going even more batshit over the virus and is convinced that reporters are going to expose themselves to the virus to make sure they can expose him.... We should get so lucky...

All you need to know ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2020:

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toliet training gone bad

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2020:

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Didn't know they came in that size.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2020:

That would be a real pain in the ass....

Christian Zionists?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2020:

Best part of this meme is not in it.... Mormons believe they are entitled to it and also the book of moron says that native Americans are a lost tribe of Israel....

More cats because ... It's a long story and it ends with Meow.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2020:

...........................

A few more before I fool myself into thinking I might get a good night's sleep.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2020:

Re: #1 I actually know of someone who blew up their mother's microwave trying to make diamonds from charcoal, gasoline, and peanut butter following the instructions on a youtube video.... Her parents actually thought she was smart.... Re: #4 That would have been me....

Shit brown and puke green

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Burnt Sienna....

Oh Beavis , Beavis!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2020:

....................

No thanks...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Sounds like a case for Penne-a-chillin....

Mr. King has jokes! lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Considering he is the creator of the TV show Grimm it is hardly surprising he would have a Grimm sense of humor....

Live long and prosper.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Not many people know that he stole that from his Jewish traditions....

I couldn't stop laughing at this one! LMAO!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 5, 2020:

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Jlep kjouehab

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

One cheese sandwich heavy on the mayo cumming right up....

Yep. That's bad.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

That would have been a priest....

I see dumb people...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

..........................

According to him, you can grab him there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I always knew he was a pussy....

You don't say....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

https://youtu.be/4WVCle24T8U

Super Tuesday wasn’t super for me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

......................

Super Tuesday wasn’t super for me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Fucking Biden and his superPAC are both using corporate money are buying the votes of the uneducated....

Love modern children’s books

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2020:

.......................

Who can forget their first time... popping a biscuit can open

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Walmart... ya gotta love it.... https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

The teen years

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Jack Danials and Everclear were my drinks of choice...

Chill, for God’s sake!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 29, 2020:

........................

When I started reading this post, I thought it was going to be full of judgement but it was to my ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2020:

"Something was missing and we all knew what it was that bible study needed to be led by a man..." Gad Christ-Insanity makes me want to vomit in dayglow...

Oh jeez, dad.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2020:

https://youtu.be/2d2OFRa-YtE

Just saying.....😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2020:

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Glad you all are here with me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2020:

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This should be good

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Awkward....