Yup mine too , aggravating

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

Between auto correct and auto complete I don't know which is a bigger pain in the ass...

When you don't want the party to end, Florida edition! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

So then he mistook it for bring your own pussy night did he?....

Please be vigilant

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2021:

Looks more like Santa is cumming early this year...

The Hero, The Leader, The God

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2021:

I suspect this satire was unintentional and they actually didn't realize how stupid this made them look...

Satin Hands!! 666

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2021:

And after that "handy date" you should always take yourself out to dinner....

Communication is key

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Always get your licks in first...

Seems appropriate and funny

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Dead on....

I can relate to that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Please mate responsibly and don't breed Trumpanzees....

Franklin, TN - Now we know where it started!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

...................

Awwww!!! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

Know newts is good newts....

Good advice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

.....................

Objects in mirror are ruder than they appear.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2021:

I see he put his name on those plates....

A man walks into an Indian restaurant. The waiter asks, “have you ever ordered here before?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2021:

Must have been a Trump owned restaurant....

Biden Asks Taliban to Trade One Stephen Miller for One Million Afghan Refugees

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2021:

Would have been better asking them to trade Trumpanzees for refugees...

Checks out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

I presented this meme in class during my English arguments presentation for a circular argument and you could see those eyes spinning in the students as the concept registered.... Thankfully the professor was an atheist as well and ended up with an A+ for the entire class...

Basically true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

And now one of Hillary's clowns in congress is working with the GQP to block reinvestment in the economy so we will likely end up with the looney toons from the far right running congress again... Haven't the Clintons done enough damage to this country yet?

Good humor and true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

And she wondered why we got divorced....

Yes a little creepy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

Along with a case of Chianti and some fava beans....

It sure does

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2021:

..................

Wonder if this would work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

I wish so I wouldn't have to haul stuff up a damned ladder...

Yeah we would watch it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

A startrek, starwars, Jewish, Vulcan Jedi... Sounds legit...

Just like many kids before

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

At my age when I pick up a stick it is my cane...

If you really think about it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Now that is a scary woman.....

Maybe it's spelled Ah, men!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

...................

Is that how it started

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Reminds me of so many of the people I used to work with.... One of the reasons I would end up quitting jobs was idiots like that getting paid more that I was and often being my supervisors....

Some thoughts lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Far too sane and tame to be the voices in my head....

Satire from the Middle.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2021:

It is the damned so-called middle who keeps selling out to the same Wall Street billionaires that have created this mess... There is a progressive left but we actually have two right-wing parties. The Reagan wing of the DNC headed by the Clintons and the Trump Neo-Nazi wing of the GOP...

That would work in the south

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2021:

Surprised some of them in the South don't keep the meth stash with the kids...

Or you laugh, awkwardly, pretending that you get it. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 18, 2021:

I used to use some off the wall insults in school that took people several minutes to figure out they had been insulted... and how badly. Funny as hell when they finally did and completely lost it.

Interesting area in Ireland

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

Wonder how many men will find it....

Could be Makes sense

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

So amusing when people like Greg Abbot end up with COVID along with a huge standing room only crowd of his donors....

Dad joke alert! This is terrible! Where is the groan button, Admin?! 🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

.......................

That could be a problem

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

Nothing like a little pussy....

New picture needed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

Baby picture?...

Ken got even

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2021:

From Mattel's "Angry Cuckold Ken" collection I guess...

Another laugh but frown at the same time.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Sad how the freedom they want is to force their beliefs on everyone else while endangering everyone around them with their arrogant ignorance....

Always heartbreaking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades....

Today is " Magic 8 ball " day, 130 points to go...I've been a 7 waaay too long!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

...........................

Thoughts and prayers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Snots and Bears...

Imagine that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

Wouldn't they be playing Squash?... The balls are smaller than golf and they get to slap them around....

Another Groaner for you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 16, 2021:

I thought it was Jesus....

Beware of the police dog

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Meth dog.....

The more people we can put into space, the more people are going to realize how fragile our planet ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Air is expensive in space.... When they run out of money they will know what "I can't breathe" really means...

Can't argue with that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Or grandparents either.....

Maybe he's just too sensitive 🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

No access to lube in prison maybe that is his problem...

Yeah many need to learn this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

They should be exiled from the country and never allowed to return... The only thing they contribute is death from disease and domestic terrorism...

Raw humor? :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Looking forward to them infesting themselves with parasites.... Makes me wonder if those parasites can survive off a parasitic host....

Not mine but though id share

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

From the party that brought us more domestic terrorism than all other terrorist groups combined....

Good morning

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

A real minute man she has there....

Grueling schedule!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 15, 2021:

Daily schedule at my house....

If they want to reject masks and vaccines, then they shouldn't be taking up hospital beds and ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2021:

Written by the man who tried to profiteer of the pandemic by purchasing Gilead stock and failed...

What the did I just read?! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2021:

Yet the Chinese are according to many the smartest people in the world...

It would be good if he Topol'd and fell! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 14, 2021:

Diddler on the roof?...

It's amusing to me when this happens (mostly FB, not here).

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

And then he wonders why he gets laughed at...

Anyone know what time the Reinstatement happens?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Making progress....

I am a bit of a social media LEGEND now

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Christian grammar....

Paddy is smart

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Well once again Paddy got it wrong....

Wouldn't a photo be better?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

"I'd buy that for a dollar..."

When she said, "I won't ask you again", I think she meant it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

OK I will just leave it down while I piss....

The News of the week.....its getting stranger. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

Another Fox parody but not a very good one....

And people wonder why I took an early retirement

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

I was lucky if I could work for someone for 6 whole months without saying "fuck this shit I quit"

No pressure! 🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

Oddly I have never had a cat that begs for food like that... I guess that is why I prefer them...

Chucky

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

...........................

Sounds like a winner

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

...................

It may be because I am old and weak but it seems the greatest accomplishment of our Chinese trading ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

Supreme irony....

The man has skills

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

I bet he wears the beard because he has no chin.... He probably looks like Mitch the Bitch McConnell when he shaves....

Positive vibes only

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

Just aim a slap towards the tummy (don't connect and make it playful) and say pink belly that would work....

Always Be Honest

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

Oh well as the Carnies love to say "You pays your dollar and takes your chance..."

Every cats fantasy...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

In my house that would become scattered pile of shredded paper in a matter of hours... With over 60 pounds of exhausted felines snoozing in corner piles trying to look innocent...

im sooo fucked.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

Oh a public offender....

Ow that hurt's! Lol!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

For me that would be 9AM I never go to sleep before 5AM.

Worth a try

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

I knew a guy that wore a card board box with two holes cut out in it that had a sign on it reading "free breast inspections insert here" to a party.... One gal got drunk and took him up on it poor guy didn't know what to do...

It ain't the meat, it's the motion.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

I actually used that on a guy at the store and he got all butthurt....

We will fix it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

Or more likely every six minutes while he is trying to fix what he was doing before the nagging started....

Where's my beer damn it!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

I would love to have one trained to go into Redneck bars with a speaker in the pouch so I could place orders....

Must be 18 to enter....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

https://youtu.be/aG5Y4VXlk-w

Jesus loves strippers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

Jesus is a....

Good question which is it ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

A cash cow that has already been milked dry....

Happy lost dog

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

"I am a reformed drug war dog..."

This explains a great deal lmao

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2021:

Fuck hats....

Names are important.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

Onion roach.....

Now that's brilliant

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

You can bank on him being shortchanged.....

Mechanic

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

Reminds me of the guy they wanted me to train under.... Four meritorious promotions in a row he had but couldn't figure out how to change out an alternator in a UH-1N I had to teach him....

Tuesday in august groaner

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

High end beef....

Pretty much like that lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

How I look....

Another old joke: Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

Gad I wish they could all just join hands, sing a nice song and jump off that mother fucking bridge together...

Can definitely believe this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

Unless it is Budweiser then it attracts Republicans...

Unfortunately many won't see this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

..................

Oh oh it starts again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

I beamed them directly to the cafeteria Jim where they will be no Tribble at all..."

Figured we could use a laugh today.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

Sounds like the GQP trolls last night "This brain offends me I want it removed from my head..."

Word challenge....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Please don't shart....

Fits him to a T

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

LMAO Floriduh had well over 28,000 new cases of COVID today alone and at this rate will surpass Texas in total number of cases by the end of the week and California by the end of the month....

That's what I thought too! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Why swimming pools were invented....

Kind of fits her

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

That dog should be taken to the nearest vet to be put to sleep....

A dad joke alert! Sorry, the image is a little grainy. 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Give us this day our daily bread.... Thanks dad...

A golden opportunity has now arisen.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Where the hell did you get that picture of me?...

The latest Covid-19 accessory

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Looks like they are standing in line to be the one for the next user of that flag....

What's your Super power???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Oh White Bread Woman.... I bet her name is Karen....

Boys, a new charger on Amazon now available

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Butt plug?....

If only this were an option!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Some people tempt you to poke them in the forehead with a baseball bat....