Lizard_of_Ahaz's Profile

Cheap security...

Diogenes comments on Nov 6, 2022:

Depends on how big the "cat" is.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 6, 2022:

@Diogenes The two lighter ones are black American shorthairs, the 18 pounder is a female Siamese/Tabby mix and the largest is an obese tuxedo belonging to my sister and who is getting a vet appointment tomorrow with her present to receive a lecture from the vet. My 16 pounder is diabetic and has insulin twice a day but is otherwise as healthy and active as the other two and all four are rescues three from my backyard. Those three are very defensive of the house and start growling at unexpected visitors unless they are invited in . Right now I can get you a deal on kittens we have some feral running around that I have made friends with. 4 Siamese,1 Tabby, one black/Tabby mix and 6 black shorthairs.

Cheap security...

Diogenes comments on Nov 6, 2022:

Depends on how big the "cat" is.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 6, 2022:

12, 16, 18 and 20 pounds....

But he rubs me the wrong way...

Garban comments on Nov 4, 2022:

I must be getting old, or just very immature, the pencil having diner was with his editor was my favorite out this great batch.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

@zeuser Even kids don't use pencils anymore and I don't think I have used one in at least 10 years now. Easier to edit using a computer and most writers stopped using anything other than a word processor or computer as soon as they became available.

But he rubs me the wrong way...

Garban comments on Nov 4, 2022:

I must be getting old, or just very immature, the pencil having diner was with his editor was my favorite out this great batch.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

A bit dated though these days it would be the writer with his computer...

Garfunkle and Oates... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Nov 4, 2022:

Love those two...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

@phxbillcee I posted it here several times over the years...

Anybody good at geometry here?

racocn8 comments on Nov 4, 2022:

It's a prolate cardioid. Though perhaps an oblate ellipsoid taken from the horizontal... https://www.google.com/search?q=cardioid=lnms=isch&sa=X=2ahUKEwiOga-c45P7AhWRMEQIHXV0AzoQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw=1657=821=0.9

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

Looks more like a diaper full of shit to me...

Not to mention we had the ability to use a map and compass without the aid of a satellite up in the ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 3, 2022:

Never needed a compass I always knew which direction I was facing even as a kid I didn't understand how people could get lost I just figured they were idiots. In the scouts I did learn to use one along with a map but generally I considered them a complete waste of time for practical use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

@Moravian Or didn't trust their abilities and second guessed themselves. I have seen far too many people have the correct answer yet doubting their first instinct went in another direction and made the wrong choice.

Not to mention we had the ability to use a map and compass without the aid of a satellite up in the ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 3, 2022:

Never needed a compass I always knew which direction I was facing even as a kid I didn't understand how people could get lost I just figured they were idiots. In the scouts I did learn to use one along with a map but generally I considered them a complete waste of time for practical use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

@Moravian I know no matter the weather or time of day or night. I have a built in compass and when people have doubted me I put on a blindfold and let them spin me around then name a direction. I made a lot of believers that way and frustrated some skeptics who "couldn't figure out how I was cheating" Just because you don't have a certain ability doesn't mean nobody has it I just don't understand why some people doubt their own abilities.

Not to mention we had the ability to use a map and compass without the aid of a satellite up in the ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 3, 2022:

Never needed a compass I always knew which direction I was facing even as a kid I didn't understand how people could get lost I just figured they were idiots. In the scouts I did learn to use one along with a map but generally I considered them a complete waste of time for practical use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

@Ryo1 As I kept telling my mother "better than being a dumb one..." First time they thought I was lost was when I was about 8 and I tried for the direct route to get back to the vehicles of the group and was cut off by a steep walled valley so I simply backtracked and since nobody knew I was late they took off without me. So I walked 5 miles back to the campsite while everyone else was out looking for me. If the ranger hadn't driven by the campsite and seen me they would likely have been out all night... First thing my mother said was "we thought you were lost" my reply was that "I don't get lost only stupid people get lost..." That was the first occasion I used that reply to her...

Garfunkle and Oates... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Nov 4, 2022:

Love those two...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 4, 2022:

So do I . Did you check out the one about indoor go-karting?...

Anybody good at geometry here?

NostraDumbass comments on Nov 3, 2022:

Reminds me of Danny DeVito as the Penguin in Batman Returns.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 3, 2022:

Danny had a better figure stop insulting him.

Just couple memes I found. Enjoy!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

Something about that training camp is wrong.... Could it be the crosses on those walls?... I would think it would be Altar boys studying there...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 3, 2022:

@joeandbarb https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgBfdY_HN3A

Imagine that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 3, 2022:

Back then the cops didn't hassle you for not having a business license though.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 3, 2022:

@phxbillcee Yeah the city I lived in was pretty laid back and while there weren't a lot of Blacks or Asians living there at the time the most a cop would have done was pulled up and bought a glass... If it was good lemonade there would likely have been several cars and motorcycle cops show up.

A waste of time and space - literally. 😆

glennlab comments on Nov 2, 2022:

If you have to lie, the relationship is in trouble.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

Oh and always make sure your elf is well hung...

Home security

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 2, 2022:

Sending this to a friend from college who is 4' 11" and her fiancé

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

@St-Sinner No she is kind of like a daughter to me and I play the part of a "Grumppa" to her daughter. I was even there the night her daughter was born at the hospital.

Which one are you? Be honest.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 2, 2022:

Not an elf - maybe tie a knott around an elf's neck.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

Turns any tree into a Christmas tree....

Which one are you? Be honest.

puff comments on Nov 2, 2022:

In Australia you can buy hot cross buns the day after Xmas.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

If she has hot buns and is being paid why is she cross?

A waste of time and space - literally. 😆

glennlab comments on Nov 2, 2022:

If you have to lie, the relationship is in trouble.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

He isn't lying he never said he was going for exercise...

Repeat after me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 2, 2022:

Better than being descended from a family of inbreeders...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

@St-Sinner Abrahamics....

I'm a water child!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 2, 2022:

Be careful you don't spring a leak at an embarrassing moment...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 2, 2022:

@glennlab Maybe if you move to Florida you will get lucky and spring a leak during hurricane season and nobody will notice?....

This one is for all our medical professional, but with a special shout out to @pralina1

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

As long as it is the Republican ward its all good...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@Betty Many of them are just as ignorant, bigoted, hateful , perverted and delusional as their constituents... Thinking otherwise is as much a faith as the one they peddle.

This one is for all our medical professional, but with a special shout out to @pralina1

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

As long as it is the Republican ward its all good...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@Betty You give them far too much credit... People haven't changed a bit if reality conflicts with their beliefs they close off reality and go with ignorance and savagery every time. How are Christians here any different from Muslims in the Middle East blowing themselves up for their religion?...

This one is for all our medical professional, but with a special shout out to @pralina1

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

As long as it is the Republican ward its all good...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@Betty Ever heard of the dark ages?... How about the Knights Templar?... The Crusades?... Did you know that the First Crusade was mostly ignorant fools told by the Pope that anything they did that was a sin would be forgiven as long as they "did it in Christ's name?" So when they arrived to the first city in the Middle East they were half starved and looking for loot so they murdered the entire population eating the children.... Justifying atrocities in the name of religion is as old as religion itself.

This one is for all our medical professional, but with a special shout out to @pralina1

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

As long as it is the Republican ward its all good...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@Betty They aren't atheists they are religious psychotics...

Not nice Kevin but I could be worse.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

And by the way Kevin you need to take a paternity test....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@St-Sinner Not that many...

Let's make easy, not fancy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

Lefty Lucy, Righty Tighty...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@phxbillcee Been screwed too many times... tightening too many nuts...

Not nice Kevin but I could be worse.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2022:

And by the way Kevin you need to take a paternity test....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@St-Sinner Why else would she be texting him a picture of her belly?....

First the copy editor, then the censor.....

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 1, 2022:

Nobody ever uses the word FORNICATION??? :-)

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

You mistake the printers as being literate...

Concerts, rallies, fairs, festivals... I am out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Fuck it just whip it out and start pissing I guarantee they will part like the Red Sea...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Nov 1, 2022:

@St-Sinner Nah I mean piss on them all...

Spooky, sucks to be him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Actually Blacks are far more likely to be there with their children than Whites especially in the South... Where White kids aren't only unsure of who their father is but often are too sure about their mom...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@glennlab You forgot the ir in irresponsibility.....

Spooky, sucks to be him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Actually Blacks are far more likely to be there with their children than Whites especially in the South... Where White kids aren't only unsure of who their father is but often are too sure about their mom...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@glennlab Funny how many Republicans get caught out as deadbeat dads isn't it?....

Spooky, sucks to be him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Actually Blacks are far more likely to be there with their children than Whites especially in the South... Where White kids aren't only unsure of who their father is but often are too sure about their mom...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@glennlab Herschel Walker?....

Meanwhile in the South among church goers

glennlab comments on Oct 31, 2022:

That's a pornhub story if I ever heard one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@glennlab Relax it isn't to the videos directly....

Meanwhile in the South among church goers

glennlab comments on Oct 31, 2022:

That's a pornhub story if I ever heard one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

And pretty much every other porn site... https://www.google.com/search?channel=fs=ubuntu&q=mom+adopted+son+sex

Spooky, sucks to be him

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Actually Blacks are far more likely to be there with their children than Whites especially in the South... Where White kids aren't only unsure of who their father is but often are too sure about their mom...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@glennlab Funny how conservatives make so many of these and all of them featuring Blacks while they deadbeat their own children huh?

The CEO of a large business used took pride in HR development of his subordinates.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 30, 2022:

Stop giving him ideas....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@Betty No but I have seen way too many boss's wives...

Accident in the Golf Club A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby… He put his hands together ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 30, 2022:

How come I never get a doctor like that?...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@Betty Haven't been since I was 16 and my father got tired of losing to me...

Anyone need a memory enhancement?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Wife or girlfriend?.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@Betty I just figured it was some gal who got tired of him asking for anal all the time...

New food, they are going to have to research the name though

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 31, 2022:

Sounds like a real pain in the ass....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 31, 2022:

@Betty I never eat at McDonalds even as a kid I could never even stand the stench....

Meme dump! Enjoy!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 30, 2022:

The first one has to be a Chinese made costume....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Oct 30, 2022:

@phxbillcee Not sure a parent that weird would be allowed to have children.I am pretty sure the state would take them away...

Found an recipe book

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 27, 2022:

A recipe that will keep you on edge....