Lizard_of_Ahaz's Profile

Totally. I live in Texas but I am on his side.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

However singing about what a shitty life you have and how your wife ran off with your best friend while you hit your dog with your truck and the train wrecked your truck..... That is country music... Depressing shit that makes you want to eat a gun barrel please don't inflict it on me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 6, 2022:

@Moravian I can't say I would blame it.....

What would one do with a second mustache?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2022:

Why pay for a tattoo when you can get one for free in prison?.... Your family is already disappointed.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 4, 2022:

@phxbillcee I don't have any... and never been to prison. I therefore bow to your superior experience...

Where is this place...

zeuser comments on Sep 4, 2022:

Yes, of course. What about my wiener?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 4, 2022:

This guy?...

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 To be fair Trump and his GQP have been keeping them really busy investigating and filing charges....

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 I bank differently myself my brick and mortar bank is the local credit union but the interest rate is crap so I keep less than $20 combined in my checking and savings accounts (after paying my bills) but have a great credit card rate with them (11.99%). I also have a checking and savings account at Ally bank which has no fees and pays .1% on checking and 1.85% on savings (no minimum balance) right now as well as supplying free checks which a bank would charge $30 for. Then I have another savings account at Discover bank which pays 1.70% (no minimum and no fees) and am thinking about a third checking account but they don't pay interest however they do pay 1% cash back on all ATM purchases and give free checks. That with their credit card makes it a nice bank to have. (FYI if you want to apply for their card let me know and I can send a link so you can get $100 for using the card for 3 months and with their approval process you won't get the hard hit (on Experian only) until after they give you the card.)

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Piss poor planning if you ask me .... He should have gone in just after opening on payday or waited for tomorrow so he had labor day weekend working for him to disable the alarms and break into the vault. With the right tools you can crack the safety deposit boxes and get the valuables that people are hiding from the IRS and won't report stolen.... My father was a bank manager for over 30 years so I picked up these things when there were robberies we had bets going on which ones would get caught and how soon.

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Going to be difficult to read it from jail I would think.... Weird Wilbur was right in his song "Fuck You Texas" the banks there are "Are all too poor to rob..."

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 When I went to the store yesterday I saw McDonald's here is sill trying desperately to hire people to work for them with huge banner signs out front saying they are starting people at $16 an hour..... Since they have had these up for a year now it looks like they don't have much in the way of interest since Del Taco seems to have no trouble finding workers but they are offering $19 an hour to start... Seems to me to be a safer and far more lucrative proposition than robbing banks in Texas...

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 $3.50?.... WOW now he is a rich Texan....

When you are invited by the girl you just met to her sister's wedding and find out the jokes weren't...

BD66 comments on Sep 3, 2022:

We would all be much better off if Biden had stuck with the banjo rather than going into politics.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 3, 2022:

fact-check-man-greeted-by-trump-at-rally-not-wounded-veteran https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-factcheck-trump-wounded-veteran-photo/fact-check-man-greeted-by-trump-at-rally-not-wounded-veteran-idUSKBN2622DK

When you are invited by the girl you just met to her sister's wedding and find out the jokes weren't...

azzow2 comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Is that a sowgun wedding?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

You have heard of a "fairy-tale wedding?".... This one would be straight out of Grimm's fairy-tales..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrySsdMOwIM https://youtu.be/dw_0zgp68jg

Good morning all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Morning my ass in another hour it will just be bedtime for me...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@racocn8 Doesn't work on me....

The Republic of Ireland have announced that as the only EU state in the British Isles they will use ...

NostraDumbass comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Or just have everyone buy self-driving vehicles and let the cars work it out themselves.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@NostraDumbass Ahhhh yes the delicious irony of a mutual suicide pact.....

The Republic of Ireland have announced that as the only EU state in the British Isles they will use ...

NostraDumbass comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Or just have everyone buy self-driving vehicles and let the cars work it out themselves.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@AtheistInNC No wonder conservatives love them.... The only hard part must be getting the vehicle to crash into the unarmed protestor that is making you all butthurt with her sign....

The Republic of Ireland have announced that as the only EU state in the British Isles they will use ...

NostraDumbass comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Or just have everyone buy self-driving vehicles and let the cars work it out themselves.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

Be a great idea if they had self driving vehicles that worked properly...

Good morning all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Morning my ass in another hour it will just be bedtime for me...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

Gad I hate it when I wake up early....10 mg of Melatonin and I still can't seem to get more than a couple hours sleep...

Good morning all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Morning my ass in another hour it will just be bedtime for me...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

Yawns.... time for a shower and bedtime... I have to get up at 7AM to give my cat his insulin shot...

Sure seems that way.

St-Sinner comments on Sep 1, 2022:

I have no interest in living.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Sep 2, 2022:

Take up skydiving.... sooner or later you are bound to make your mark on the world...

The message is clear

phxbillcee comments on Aug 30, 2022:

What the hell happened to the Meme you had up???

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 30, 2022:

@St-Sinner, @phxbillcee Somebody needs to explain to the Admin we are adults here not children...

I know it's tough to figure how she did that, How are we going to get her out?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2022:

As dinner....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@Betty Nope I just have a lot of freezer space....

I know it's tough to figure how she did that, How are we going to get her out?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2022:

As dinner....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@Betty Just chase it through the kitchen...

I know it's tough to figure how she did that, How are we going to get her out?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2022:

As dinner....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@Betty All of the above...

I know it's tough to figure how she did that, How are we going to get her out?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2022:

As dinner....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@Betty Nope just practical.... easier to get a steak out than the whole cow....

Someone deserves some ice cream. 😄😔

phxbillcee comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Let me guess, he lives in her basement...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 29, 2022:

And voted for Trump.....

I have the same problem

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Groan.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@phxbillcee I turd it...

To almost quote a great visionary.

St-Sinner comments on Aug 28, 2022:

The Southern conservatives would love it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

Actually they hate being reminded they are other people they hate that hate the same people they do.... Kind of like them calling Muslims "goat fuckers" while they get caught fucking every animal on their neighbor's farms....

This is just so Woody Allen, priceless! :-D

Spinliesel comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Don't worry, unlike other nations, Germans learn from their mistakes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@Spinliesel Don't look at me I only speak English and bad English along with insults from about half a dozen other languages....

Now U C me, now....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2022:

Kia.... The car you want to sell off to some sucker before the odometer hits 100,000 miles and the wheels fall off.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@dalefvictor, @AnneWimsey, @glennlab How many miles?....

Can't wait for the judge to rule against him....

phxbillcee comments on Aug 27, 2022:

May the weirdo crash & burn...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

He has been selling off large amounts of Tesla stock lately after announcing each time "he had no further plans to sell more stock" this leads me to believe he is having financial difficulties he is trying to keep quiet.... I honestly think he is overextended financially and doesn't have the money to cover the check he wrote with that big fat mouth of his . He made the offer and then worked to devalue the company which because Twitter is Delaware based and the court is in that state the court is not going to cut him a discount. They will force him to pay even if he ends up bankrupt in the process...

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Garban comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel however you want about this. Sad, angry, or maybe even relieved. Keep your friends close, especially ones that will just shut up and listen. 😢

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 I don't mind quiet restaurants with my granddaughter and her family or my friend from college and her family but I need a booth with my back to the wall and people I trust with me who understand my condition so I feel safe with people I trust watching my back.

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Garban comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel however you want about this. Sad, angry, or maybe even relieved. Keep your friends close, especially ones that will just shut up and listen. 😢

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 And people say I should go out more..... Fucking morons.

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Garban comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel however you want about this. Sad, angry, or maybe even relieved. Keep your friends close, especially ones that will just shut up and listen. 😢

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Imagine trying to relax in that environment with PTSD with your hypervigilance kicking in like a defective "Spidey sense" ... https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-hypervigilance

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Garban comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel however you want about this. Sad, angry, or maybe even relieved. Keep your friends close, especially ones that will just shut up and listen. 😢

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 You never heard of phone sex?...

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Garban comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel however you want about this. Sad, angry, or maybe even relieved. Keep your friends close, especially ones that will just shut up and listen. 😢

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Just remember that beer googles can make that asshole look like a prince and you should be fine...

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Garban comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel however you want about this. Sad, angry, or maybe even relieved. Keep your friends close, especially ones that will just shut up and listen. 😢

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Great mix two drunk and horny women deciding to go to the nearest bar to get more drunk and laid.... That is not going to end well...

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

ChestRockfield comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Wait, what happened? Weren't you like our only success story here?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Be glad you found out now instead of marrying him first....

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

phxbillcee comments on Aug 28, 2022:

Damn, Michelle, that's a real bitch. PM me any time if you just want to vent (if the Memes alone don't quite do it for you). You've been my friend for a long time here, I will always have your back! I won't give you any stupid platitudes, but, this too will pass...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Round and hard like a bowling ball?...

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

phxbillcee comments on Aug 28, 2022:

Damn, Michelle, that's a real bitch. PM me any time if you just want to vent (if the Memes alone don't quite do it for you). You've been my friend for a long time here, I will always have your back! I won't give you any stupid platitudes, but, this too will pass...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

Like a kidney stone?...

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

ChestRockfield comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Wait, what happened? Weren't you like our only success story here?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Have you ever considered that you might be the problem because you keep taking him back?

This is just so Woody Allen, priceless! :-D

Spinliesel comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Don't worry, unlike other nations, Germans learn from their mistakes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Spinliesel I am part Scot, part Irish and part Welsh.... he didn't do so well against us....

This is just so Woody Allen, priceless! :-D

Spinliesel comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Don't worry, unlike other nations, Germans learn from their mistakes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 27, 2022:

Well it's about time after all they made so many of them.....

Myopia, just one of the joy's of growing old! :-D

Diogenes comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Now stop that--- some fool will accuse you of being "racist".

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Austin-Cambridge Anti-theist... I am proud to be among that number....

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@MerlinZap The only difference I ever noticed between the two states was that in Tennessee you more likely to find a car that could run and in Arkansas you were far less likely to find any vehicle that could exceed a 25 MPH speed limit.... Then you have Florida man.... https://youtu.be/RNPxIibhcKY https://youtu.be/vIyWt16e8oo https://youtu.be/30InBgGhiSo

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@MerlinZap Last time I was in Tennessee I was driving down I-40 at about 90MPH and some idiot comes flying up behind me and tailgated me for about a mile before pulling out and around then speeding off into the night. About 10 minutes later I heard some woman on the CB screaming "mercy, mercy, mercy switching to channel 9". Shortly after that I encountered parts of a car scattered in the highway then I come to the speeder's car which was a Satellite Sebring (notice the past tense) that had been totaled all the way up to the firewall of the engine compartment. apparently he rear ended a ford pick up with a camper special bumper hard enough to shatter the engine block of his car and knock the bumper off the pick-up truck.... I never really saw much difference between the two states....

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@zeuser One of the reasons I like living in California is they can't afford to live here...

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@zeuser Yeah and those ones aren't even all that uncommon....

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@zeuser Some regions far more than others.... https://youtu.be/4Hs95TBBAGg

Watch your own self!

AnneWimsey comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Apparently there was an incident.....any info?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

His name was Dick.... Now they call him Dickless....

Another Trump Dump....

Gnarloc comments on Aug 26, 2022:

This is too true to be funny. :(

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

If you don't learn to laugh you are going to die crying.... Me?... I would rather laugh.

Whip it good!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Sounds a little kinky to me....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@phxbillcee What can I say I have a dirty mind....

Another Trump Dump....

phxbillcee comments on Aug 25, 2022:

tRump Dump is right. The dumpster fire of an Administration & the lowest common denominator of the primate gene pool...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 25, 2022:

"the lowest common denominator of the primate gene pool..." Trumpanzees....

Kid had a good teacher....

glennlab comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Kid's going places.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Aug 25, 2022:

Free Club Fed vacations.....

Excellent point....

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Jersey boy trying to be a PA senator. Just such a wrong decision. Belly flopping Oz, tone deaf, proven charlatan, and a fucking Jersey boy. Holy shit, what was he thinking?