Wow, pretty excited to see a social place to find like minded science loving people!

I’m looking for a life best friend but sure is hard to find altruistic intelligent science literate people. This site gives me hope!

I travel for a living and have recently reached all my hard earned career goals. As a goal oriented person my next goal is to find a companion to share life with. I think finding someone that one can share life on an intimate level puts the cherry on top of the life cake.

I think intimacy, or a relationship in general, is on a triangle scale, body-heart-mind. If you find someone that stimulates you on all three then that’s when you know you’ve found your starmate (atheists version of soulmate). If you have the body, attraction is there but cannot have a deep conversation with the person on your intellectual level (mind) then the relationship cannot be fully fulfilling. I think that’s what the search is, to find someone that fulfills the triangle.

I suppose being new to this site I’ll call this Bio a “work in progress” while I try and figure out what exactly to put here. But for now I’m enjoying exploring all this site has to offer smile001.gif

It is a chilly, wet day up the holler. The fireplace is going, the coffee is hot, the weed is in the pipe, the honeysuckle scented candle warmers are making the house smell incredible, it is the 10th birthday of my youngest granddaughter, my favorite cousin is traveling here from Baltimore this weekend for a visit, somebody out there thinks I am a hot commodity, and life is simply divine.
SunshineBee comments:
You sound like you’re on top of the world, what a wonderful feeling!! Love, happiness, contentment, all make life so wonderful! I’m so happy for you!!
Cant compare to a real physical exchange of affection ,however, sometimes that's not always possible. How many of you would be willing to engage in sexting or phone sex if you were in a distant relationship/ or any other reason.
SunshineBee comments:
Agreed, you have to know the someone very well and already intimately. If you can’t see each other every day but adore each other enough, it adds on another level of intimacy and can be quite exciting and erotic.
Happy Ask an Atheist Day. What are some of the more interesting things that you are being asked today?
SunshineBee comments:
Lol, a co-worker and I were engaged in conversation about dating and I dropped the “A” word, agnostic. After his initial Christian inspired shock he asked me to reconsider if I wanted to find someone because “A belief in a higher being than themselves helps men keep their ego in check so that they can be better people and thus treat women better and with more respect, thus help you find a good guy.” Long story short uughhh.
When you are involved with someone, what is your comfort level with how often you see them?
SunshineBee comments:
I was once strictly of the opinion that the more frequently you talk the less there is to talk about. But when you click with someone even a call with little to talk about can seem like quality time. Just depends on the depth of connection you have with that person? If you feel you click deeply, once a day could turn into not enough!
What do you think are the 5 most beautiful things in the world and why?
SunshineBee comments:
*The mysterious and vast universe *This most beautiful pale blue dot *The amazing cultural diversity in this world *Consciousness we humans posses *The most incredible emotion we can experience, true love
I would like to thank all the members who responded to my previous post regarding the passing of my son. The number of people who offered their condolances and support far exceeded what I could have imagined. When I wrote the first post It was a moment of extreem grief. My son lived in another state along with any family I have. So I was alone going crazy. Hence I posted my loss. Again I want to thank you all.
SunshineBee comments:
So sorry for your loss! Lessons I'm learning about mine (breakup, he's still alive) is 1. Don't go through this alone. 2. Find someone that can relate and listen to their stories (amazingly helpful). 3. Allow yourself to grieve as it seems only time will really make the pain go away. 4. Don't foget to breath and eat, it's strangely easy to do. 5. Groups like this are invaluable so don't hesitate to interact like you are, it is very therapeutic! This is an amazing group of compasionate caring people :)
Would you rather be crazy rich or deeply in love?
SunshineBee comments:
Having been in deep unconditional love before so having that perspective I'd chose love hands down over being rich. No amount of money could be as amazing as the feeling of being in mutual deep "words can't begin do describe the depth of our love" kind of love. It is the most amazing human experience!
Crafters: What’s more satisfying?
SunshineBee comments:
For some reason I love projects but then just want to see what they look like when done I can’t wait to finish them and it’s a mad dash towards the finish!
OKAY....I've come to a realization about something. Relationships. Any, business, friend....but specifically a relationship regarding 2 people. This particular dynamic: Many times, a person strives to prove that they are right, or correct about something. And that person wants to be acknowledged that they are indeed correct. Or at least a fundamental truth accepted. Or a shrug. That's one thing. One sort of behavior. It's fair. It's OK. No horn tooting. Move on forward. What's happened to me, that opened my eyes is this: A person in the relationship does not care about who is right. What is correct. What is truthful. That person only wants to prove me wrong. Damn the Torpedoes Baby, it's all about making me feel small. It got to the point where I was going to try opposites. Like, instead of noting that the sky is blue, and being told that it is not, I should say that the sky is, IDk...yellow?!! and then the other person would no, it's blue and we could agree on some truth. But I'd have to lie, or be wrong first, to get there. So this maliscious? Obviously it's hurtful. It's definitely a sign that the relationshp is twisted and not healthy. It's a lot of things none of them good.
SunshineBee comments:
A good relationship is kind, forgiving, compromising... sometimes there is enough of a buildup that a break is needed whether due to stress or whatever it may be. Distance (a break) helps gain perspective. Hopefully that’s all that’s needed in case it was once a loving relationship? Quiet time to help reflect on what’s important and sort out the feelings one is bombarded with. But ultimately the biggest reason any kind of relationship breaks down is communication. When it gets to this level of opposition my experience with something similar is that when stress levels rise, how one deals with it, especially if overwhelmed by the stress, may be unhealthy and ultimately the shrapnel may hit a close target. Show that you care and are there if/when they need. Maybe the other person just needs time to figure and sort things out?
About Life
SunshineBee comments:
I'm certain my career would have been less work to overcome the challenges as a man for one. It would be easier to get the ladies as I'm in a male dominated field and as a female my job can be intimidating to the general men. Otherwise I've also thoughts about "what if" I had a chance at another life after this one, would I come back as male of female and after much deliberation I think I'd come back as female again, though early on in life with all the challenges to be successful I went through I'd have said the opposite.
When/how did doubt about God's existence occur?
SunshineBee comments:
I think I was about 7, went to a Catholic church with the semi-religious parents and was exposed to its teachings which included their utter hate for Eve and her evil of eating the apple. That plus the persecution of women since and I concluded then that it was all bullshit, how could something that's supposed to tach people to be good and pure condem 50% of its members (at least)?!? Nope, I wasn't buying it!
Do you believe in love at first sight? I'm feeling lost and desperate, and wonder if my soul mate is out there to be found.
SunshineBee comments:
Meeting someone and being attracted to them on the first meeting is telling but true love requires trust and that only comes with time. But the attraction is a source to use to build a relationship on. My thoughs are that true love involves completing the "triangle: body-heart-mind" (in not so many words). Once your interest can fulfill all three points (once you get to know their charachter and trust them) your world will truly be turned upside down. Then vulnerability comes into play. You must put yourself out there trusting they will too as either of you can leave at any time if you choose. But if you choose to stay with each other, that relationship could withstand time, and that's very "soulmate" like, a deep vulnerable intimate trusting relationship where you can't live without each other body-heart-mind. Does it exist, absolutely! But a word of caution, in my humble opinion based on my experiences, love is not enough.
Why is everyone looking for love? Cant we just agree that we would be happy finding someone to get thru the day with, not a life? Thats how it should start. You don't get love on the first day, its something you work toward. Takes trust and caring, and those things arent automatic for some.
SunshineBee comments:
I was once of that mindset and married a good suitable match however it was not fulfilling at all. There was always something missing and eventually ended a good relationship/friendship. Then I met someone who turned my world upside down and the key ingredient was romantic intimate vulnerable love. Life now finally seemed compete, I’ve never felt more fulfilled. Like you I did not think it was necessary till I got a taste of it and now will forever seek to find a relationship like that again because it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. Side note scientifically romantic love stimulates the same area of the brain as illicit drugs.
Do you believe that one day artificial intelligences will exist that think and feel as deeply and authentically as we humans do?
SunshineBee comments:
I would imagine AI being more like Spock, logical working off “Is” and “O’s”; to be human means consciousness that involves hormones and feelings. I was told many times, “love is not rational nor logical” so for a logical entity to acquire such skills...certainly not in our lifetimes I would imagine. Love, hate, sadness, joy, even some humans can’t acquire the full spectrum, how could a machine?
At 87 I still think women are God's gift to men. I've had two marriages and many love affairs and am always looking for more.
SunshineBee comments:
Leonard is a “maybe” on the whether there is a God question and labels himself agnostic. Perhaps he did not intend to offend putting “god” in, was just simply being kind explaining his adoration for women?
Me and my partner of 12 years that I just recently split with as of 2 years had a VERY erotic sex life, it was from adventurous to down right movie standards sometimes, nevertheless it was great. Now my question to y'all is...when I get into a relationship with someone new that is a little more conservative like, having sex with the lights off compared to in the woods. How can I try to get her to meet me in middle of the road? Saying for 12 years all Iv'e known was "NO HOLES BARRED", we are starting at complete different ends of the spectrum. And to be honest missionary sucks. I love being in a relationship, so I'm presently making an effort and looking for someone.
SunshineBee comments:
It could be possible she has not been shown what deep sexual passion is like so doesn’t know if she’d like it? It would certainly take patience and building trust and lots positivity, perhaps she will open up and enjoy it if you can show her your world in a safe way?
As a musician (bass player), I am in love with love. It is such a beautiful thing. The Beatles was a band that sang about peace and love. It cost John Lennon's life. Intimacy has always been hard for me but with the right person it can bring the best out of one
SunshineBee comments:
To have a deeply intimate relationship with someone seems to be the most satisfying of human experiences! It is a most fortunate thing for anyone who has ever been so “blessed” as to have experienced it!
I learned about sex from my friends. My parents did not know how to handle it so they did nothing. A little guidance would have helped. I learned eventually and had two long marriages, one 13 yrs and the 2nd lasted for 15. I am alone now. But it is better to be alone than in a sick relationship. I hope I can have intimacy with a woman again before I get too old. I am 63 but play in a eock band and not too badly out of shape.
SunshineBee comments:
I fell deeply in love with my starmate when he was 58 (20y difference). My friends mom joined a group kind of like this but more community based after her husbands death and now has a wonderful companion. I’d say it’s never too late!! Seems you just have to get yourself out there and join the right groups I suppose?
What is your favorite position? Either for yourself or for your partners highest satisfaction? I’ll go first: we enjoy woman on top.
SunshineBee comments:
Women on top allows us to have full control over our pleasure and is arguably the best way to have a woman come to completion. Other positions can be wildly hot but it’s this position that seems to get the greatest success, in my humble personal opinion.
How do you feel about a belief in a soul mate, one person who fulfills your ideal? Someone mentioned a "star-mate"; I like the sound of this yet believe there can be a lot of options in our eclectic world. My issue re a soul mate, in part, stems from the experience that one's belief system eventually seeps into every part of a coupled life. I don't believe in a soul. I believe we may return to another form of energy. So, Is this simply innocent semantics? "Real Intimacy Group"
SunshineBee comments:
I was extremely career oriented so to say I’m experienced in dating is not quite right but I have had a few crushes, as it were. I even married a man that seemed to fit the right boxes. But I will say this, when I met my starmate a whole new world opened up and I saw the world from whole new eyes like never before. No other man ever affected me like this, not even close. It was profound! I believe there is a starmate out there for us all, but I also have to believe there are more than one as “love is not enough” or other factors that may imped a successful long lasting relationship. My starmate and I, though both of us atheists, had Christian values and societal pressures come between us but it can’t be over. If vulnerable intimate relationships can be created in a science lab it can happen again, I believe that, I want to believe it at least.
VPNs. Your recommendations. For those using VPNs I would like to know your opinions and recommendations. I use AIR VPN. Based in Italy, absolutely no logs, run by activists, a bit un-user friendly in set up, but generally fast, reliable and reasonably priced. Any recommendations in terms of those factors I have mentioned?
SunshineBee comments:
As a World traveler I use Witopia. Even in China it works but only for so long. The price is more expensive than some others I hear but they have good sales that make it very reasonable. I’d say it’s very fast as generally the biggest limiting factor is the host internet itself. I’m happy with Witopia.
My mother died last evening of cancer. Though we were estranged to some degree I am terribly sad 😢. I may not be on here much over the next few days.
SunshineBee comments:
I’m so sorry for your loss :( whether a lost love or a death, science says it stings in the same place in the mind. It seems only time will heal the wound but having a support group of friends and family also helps immensely! Try not to be alone!
Always the boobs.
SunshineBee comments:
The boobs!! Oh my science, it’s like they have some extra ordinary homing device for them uughhh!
**Life and Death decision** This may seem silly, but trust me, I'm going somewhere with this! If alliens came to earth and offered everyone who wants to accept, a life span of 200 years + plenty of money + a good life + healthy body and brain of a 30 year old + your friends and family could join you. But the aliens want one thing. After 200 years of a great life, you die a peaceful and painless death. They ship your body back to their home planet where you are eaten. This is not a deal-with-the devil with hidden consequences or anything like that. It is just what it says.
SunshineBee comments:
There’s SOOOOOOO much life to explore on this vast planet (and beyond!!) that 200y may not be enough time to do so but I’d jump on the opportunity to explore in a heart beat! Besides Europa is my girl!! I just know she has life on her and I don’t want to die before knowing for sure!
Do you tell people you don't believe in god? Or let them find out?
SunshineBee comments:
There’s still a bit of a closet for us since we are “worse than the devil” so for me I don’t say it loudly and proudly that I’m atheist but I also do not openly participate in prayer before food either nor bible talk. And as a firm believer in telling the full on truth, if they ask I’m happy to tell but always seems like asking by theists is not on the menu.
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