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I've been widowed for two and a half years following a 20-yr. marriage. My late wife had dementia for several years. Seek someone kind for dating, companionship, and hopefully leading to a long-term relationship. Am now retired. My politics are very left-wing, Bernie Sanders-type socialist. Partner would have be at least liberal. Dating range is women age 49-68. See my profile questions and answers to find my interests, but I'll list some of them at the end. But first, I'll save some time by listing what seem to be the usual deal-breakers with most women

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Comments

[hightimes.com] Iowa?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:
I live in Iowa, and, for the most part, the authorities are not that concerned about people who get high in the privacy of their homes, esp. if they live out in the rural areas. Unless you give them something else to be interested in you for......
Seniors are a happy group! They no longer care what people think.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:
Ani is a hip, cool, wise woman....
So, I was half way to Wheeling when I got the text. “Sorry. Got called into work. I'll call you...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
If he doesn't call tonight and seem truly, deeply apologetic, you will know his earlier text was BS and that he is a bum. Hope things work out soon with someone, even if it's not him...Glad you still ended up having some nice food on V-Day.
Zoe gave me another scratch. I bust my butt to support her. Some thanks I get. But I love her.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
As Sticks would say, all relationships have their rough patches, lol. My neighbor down the hall, whose cat I scam off of, said she once had something like that with her cat. Rascal had scratched her bad for the umpteenth time and Joan lost it and threw her TV remote at the cat and hit her in the head. They both sulked for several hours and then made up.
A very cute pair
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
I can't believe it's a bird and a cat playing. The cat must not think it's a cat....I've met some that I swear think they are humans rather than cats....
More than familial love. More than romantic love. Beer love.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
It's more of a guy humor thing. Well done as always Deiter...I can't speak for other guys, but I know damn well that even if I were 30 years younger and still had all my hair, I still wouldn't have a gorgeous babe like that wanting me after an oaf card like that.........Makes me think of Homer Simpson contemplating "Hmmm beer and baaacconnn....". Homer and Al Bundy are such every woman's dream guys.....
For those who may be sad and lonely today...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
I had a female friend who is also widowed like me call me late this afternoon saying she didn't want to eat dinner alone tonight so we met up at a HyVee store deli that was having a steak dinner buffet tonight-that I usually eat at every Thur.- for $9. Had a nice meal and conversation. Was a great surprise treat to do this. Maybe we'll do it regularly at either the store in my area or hers, say once a month.
Ain’t it the truth
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
I like the other one better where the cat is flipping off the hooman.
Not looking for sympathy or pity, but just sharing a fact that this is my 3rd Valentine's Day ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
This is my second after being widowed, join the club.....
If you're my Valentine, I won't be miserable now.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
I still choose to be miserable, lol. Since I sang it at karaoke on Tue., I'll quote it for my fellow Moz lover DeStijl, "And heaven knows I'm miserable now".
A poem for Valentine's Day.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
You got it sweety! I love GrumpyCat.....
I just love imperfect people. Perfect people can be so boring!
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
My late wife and I looked like an odd couple together, but I wouldn't have had it any other way....
Music has the power to make us smile. And bring us to all types of tears. It can carry us back in ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
Going to karaoke to be with my karaoke pals who are fellow music lovers, and singing there, does this for me.
So, I was half way to Wheeling when I got the text. “Sorry. Got called into work. I'll call you...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:
Merrie- I am really sorry that happened. I know that today's lunch date was very important to you. It's better than being stood up, but I don't blame you either way for whether you decide to give this guy another chance or just flush. Good luck with the former jock.
If there were an award for laziness..
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:
I call them cats of leisure.......
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers, Feb. 15th is 50% of Chocolate day.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:
Walmart is fucking evil. I hate them too much to go out of my way to buy chocolate there, no matter what the price.
After almost 3 weeks on a dating site I have removed my profile because I just can’t take anymore ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:
The paid site I'm on seems to pretty well stay on top of the scammers and I think that's because they are the largest site out there and realize it's in their best interests to have staff police the scammers and help them maintain a good rep. They also have a free 6 month extension of your membership that they will give you if you pay for 6 months or more and don't end up meeting anyone to date steady. All you need to do during the six paid months to qualify for the free extension is to have kept your profile visible, have a profile pic, and message at least 5 different new members each month. I've already had one free extension and am now on the last month of my second paid 6 month membership. I have only met 5 women in person over 16 months. But that's common for average-looking men, at least my age in my area. I have no idea what's common for women my age in my area, but I bet there are way more men than women on that site in those categories. Ironically, I may soon be meeting two women at the same time in the next week or so. If so it will be the first time I've ever been able to try parallel dating, so to speak. We'll see. It's pure dumb luck that I came across two women at the same time that were both interested in me. One is new and the other I've been trading messages with for about a month but haven't met yet due to weather and illness so far. Doubt I will be seeing both for very long at the same time. @Gwendolyn2018
11 Literary Pick Up Lines for the Chronically Dateless | Literary Hub
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:
This stuff is way too highbrow for me to be familiar with it, much less work it well. It's also too highbrow to work on women in my area.
When I was 5 years old my mother always told me happiness was the key to life..............John ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
That man was so intelligent and wise, even he wasn't exactly a saint. He was always a hero to me and I still get so sad and angry that he was murdered. He was always a role model to me and others about how to never conform to the system or be misled by authority. He stayed true to his conscience and principles as much as any celeb except maybe Muhammad Ali. " A working class hero is something to be...."
Every time I get on plenty of catfish, I immediately get messages from random women looking to ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
I'm glad you enjoy screwing with their heads. Me, I've never felt like bothering with it.
Every time I get on plenty of catfish, I immediately get messages from random women looking to ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
See Deiter's two posts about an alleged Russian beauty that is after him, lol. I personally don't have any experience with that on this site. Had a lot of it on Our Time and only a bit of it so far on Match. Match seems to do pretty well at keeping them off their site because the staff appears to be actively patrolling the site for scammers. I think another reason Our Time has more scammers is that the site is more geared for older people, who scammers think are easier marks than younger people.
Oh no... not wine....
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
Poor scared kitty. Those crazy unreliable hoomans....
Another missive from Irinushoka Woman today! She's moved from reaching out to campaigning. I can...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
Deiter- How is it you track down where the pic is really from anyway?
Another missive from Irinushoka Woman today! She's moved from reaching out to campaigning. I can...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
Once again Deiter, aka Mr. Catfish, you are so generous to share some of "her" so abundant love with us, lol! She might be more successful with pics that had full body shots and more skin... but who cares, how can we resist anyway???? What's the rules anyway about dating site profile pics, are 15 yo pics too outdated, as long as they aren't your own to begin with???????
I want to believe
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:
Like Mulder on The X-Files, "I Want To Believe".
I swear if my cat poops one more time.... I'll just clean out her litter box as usual ?? ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
The cat always knows that they are in charge, lol.
Men: Serious relationship or no?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
I think you have a wonderful attitude. I have always been and am still the guy that would be a gentleman and not have sex on the first date even if the woman wanted to or I was really attracted. More importantly, I would never expect sex on the first date. That's just the way I'm wired and I would not want to risk messing things up emotionally with me or the woman by jumping into bed on the first date. I'm more the shy, under-confident type about sex. So it would be more likely after a few dates at least.
The coolest people I've ever met have the most colorful pasts, they've lived lives of risk, made bad...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
I've known a few in my time. I never had their courage, but I'm better having known them.
Just curious, do you believe in karma or law of attraction?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
I guess I sort of want to believe in karma, that's why I'm Agnostic rather than Atheist, because I see so little justice in how most things work in this world. But I don't believe in the law of attraction regarding our thoughts bringing experiences into our lives. I believe things come into our lives either purely by chance or fate sometimes and other times by our actions and choices, not by our thoughts. Sounds too New Age woo to me.
Vacation in 2 days. L.A., look out; y'all are in trouble!??? (We promise to clean up any messes that...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
You just go be your bad self. Be sure to send us a post about it either while you are gone or when you get back. At least it's not Jackson-hell, lol!
As rental prices rise, women stay in bad relationships to survive. [broadly.vice.com]
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
That's a longtime sociological fact, that when the economy is bad or rental prices are high, that more couples stay together out of economic need. It's a sad thing that few people talk about or admit, at least while they are doing it. Better economic times, not surprisingly, see higher divorce rates. I know it's more of a middle class luxury than a reality for many people, but the wise thing for anyone of either gender is to be employable and financially self sufficient enough that you never have to stay with someone for this reason. However, once you have kids, you're even more trapped in the relationship. One, but not the only reason, that I never had or wanted kids. Another was the financial pressure of supporting kids even if I did leave a relationship.
Sooooo I’ve got under 700 points to go to get to Level 8. Can I get a lick of help to get me over ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
I'm on level 7 and a long ways from that T-shirt.
Leaving for Canada Wednesday (for the third time :) ) to see my baby...yay! I miss him like crazy. ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
The cartoon style reminds me of South Park.
Leaving for Canada Wednesday (for the third time :) ) to see my baby...yay! I miss him like crazy. ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
Awww, that is so sweet. I am tall and have always enjoyed moments when I could share a kiss like that with a shorter woman, including my late wife, who was the shortest woman I ever went out with. 6' 2" vs. 5' 0".
I was listening t the radio. I could sware the singer said she was titty tripping. I can not figure ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
Well, that's another new one on me. I guess I need to get out more, browse the Urban Dictionary weekly, or at least spend more time on FB. Seems like the only place I here these new terms is on this site, and often I have to ask someone for a definition.
Geriatric kamikaze pilot blasting through space at 35 mph
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
My dear, I bet you can't wait for spring and weather for biking and hiking....
What do you do for self care?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
Talk to friends, exercise, reading. Going to karaoke once a week to sing.
I had a pain for 2-3 days in one testicle, pain was very similar to pain when it's hit. I had ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
Is it just me or is this a bit TMI? Seriously dude, I kind of wish I hadn't clicked on this thread, it's making me feel a bit squeamish.....Glad you like pain, if you're into that...
Geriatric kamikaze pilot blasting through space at 35 mph
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
My weekly karaoke show is my social event and highlight of the week, but no way I would drive the 20 mi. trip there in those conditions, much less for a haircut or even a medical apt. if it couldn't be rescheduled for the week after. Kathleen, I'm glad you made it safely and hope the rest of your week is better....
How much would you consider too much to be to spend on a meal at a really really nice restaurant.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
Just for yourself or for both you and a date? I would never spend more than $50 for just myself on a meal. And it would have to be very rarely. I'm not poor, but I'm not rich either and my retirement income and investments are not unlimited. I can live just fine on about 30-40K a year and that's what I do between SS and retirement funds. Of course, living costs are cheaper in Iowa than the coasts or large cities and my home is already paid for. From reading the comments below, I can see that even tho I'm financially secure, I am probably in the bottom half of the site's community as far as wealth and income. Not a bad thing, just surprising and interesting. This thread sort of indirectly surveys how well off people are without actually asking their income or wealth level. Kind of like an opinion survey I heard about in a poli sci course that indirectly measured the level of authoritarian attitudes in people by asking them about their opinions on parenting styles. In other words, if you want to get people to tell the truth about themselves, you have to usually go about it indirectly........
Retirement destination?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
I'm staying here, already retired, even tho the winters suck. because I will always need my friends too much to move away and I don't make new ones that easily. Even if I met someone special to share my life with, I'm not going to take the risk of moving away from my friends and ending up without their support if it didn't work out or I was widowed again.....I might be willing to take some risk for love, but I'm not going to move away and drop my safety net.
Girlfriend wanted a cat ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
Kitten has different colored eyes, just like David Bowie did.
OK Ralph ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
I have seen so many small cats that have no fear of much bigger dogs. Some will just slap the shit out of a dog if they get annoyed or mad.
What would YOU tell her?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
That is a tough one. I'm sort of torn on this one, even tho I've never wanted kids or been a parent, because of the experience of a longtime friend with something like this. My friend is a social worker who adopted a kid as a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome when she was single, from a mom that was an addict. My friend knew what she was in for as she was first a foster mom for the boy before adopting him. She soonafter met a divorced guy that was a single parent with kids that were already about out of the nest. They got married after dating a year or so. She is atheist and he is Catholic. This poor boy has been mentally screwed his whole life from the fetal alcohol stuff, resulting in ADHD and also behavioral problems since he was very young. Tons of meds, therapy, shrinks, etc. He has had a bunch of school suspensions, fights with other kids, done internet stalking and harassment of other kids. His parents have tried everything they can and are hoping that a program called Job Corps., that they have enrolled him in, will eventually take him so he will have a place to live and a way to get employed once he turns 18, less than a year away. Because when he does, they are going to evict him from their home. He is abusive to them, verbally and sometimes physically as well as destructive to property. My point is that sometimes parents can do everything right, but the kid is too screwed up and they have no real choice but to either save themselves or let the kid destroy their life. And after age 18, he is not their responsibility anymore anyway legally.
Only packing the essentials.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:
So cute. It would be hard to leave them behind for a trip.
Okay, I need some advice. I have a lunch date on Valentine's Day. It's our first date and he's the...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:
I've got nothing. Personally, I wouldn't meet someone from a dating site for the first time on V-Day, simply because it could too easily end up being too loaded with expectations or misunderstanding. I would wait until a few days before or after to avoid those issues.
DATERS! Throughout time the first meeting between a man and a woman was called a date. The first ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:
The protocol has changed with online dating. Nowadays the first meeting of two people is for coffee in a public place. It is pretty much an informal interview meeting. That is why I call mine coffee meetings. If the first meeting goes well and both people are interested in seeing each other again for something more substantial, like having dinner, seeing a movie, going to a concert, etc., those would be called dates. Who really cares that much what those occasions are called? I don't. I just know that is the expected protocol these days when two strangers encounter each other on a paid dating site. Before the coffee meeting, the two people always trade a few messages, sometimes they also might talk on the phone some, usually they don't. It's all about the dance of cautiously finding out more about the other person and deciding if there's enough attraction and compatibility to want a romantic relationship with the other person, altho most people prefer to wrap the whole thing in the early stages with the cliches about friendship first, etc.. The difference is, with new friendships between people of the same or opposite sex, that don't involve a dating site, nobody is sizing up the other person early on about whether they could see themselves having sex with the other person. Such a bunch of cliche crap, the whole "friendship first" stuff. It's just a way to indirectly tell men (justly) to back the hell off and slow down on trying to get someone into bed.
What's the one line that made red flags pop up and your brain say... "deal breaker"? There have ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:
I actually have fewer dealbreakers than most below. 1. Fairly religious 2. Can't accept a non-drinker 3. Expects me to love watching college sports or has few interests other than same. 4. Is very family-oriented, as in wants to spend most of our time together with her family or grandkids. 5. Politically conservative 6. Likes country music Seriously, that's all there is. Probably wouldn't be that hard to find someone even with these dealbreakers if I lived on either coast, but I live in the Midwest. Enuf said......
Men don't like intelligent women...........well I knew THAT! lol [curiousmindmagazine.com] I ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:
All other things being present with the woman (common interests, physical attraction that's mutual), I won't date a woman that's not intelligent, emotionally strong, and independent. I'm not attracted to women who don't have these last three qualities. But I concede that my standards are probably not typical of most men on that because I'm not very typical myself and I don't think most men on this site are either. As someone once said, non-believers are a smaller part of the population than gay people, so most of us are very non-conformist and atypical in other ways as well as religion. Another example of this is how I bet choosing not to have kids is probably way more common among the members of this site than among the general pop..
How do you deal with someone you really like, have to deal with an hour or more transit and might ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:
Good luck, taking turns staying overnight sounds good, like cutie says. But I won't do LD.
Properly functioning shredder.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:
Poor kitty works so hard!
Why is it that nearly all of the ladies who show up with high compatibility scores for me are in ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:
Don't count on it. In my local area, no new women my age have joined in the last 15 months. As far as the handful my age that are in my area, I messaged almost all of them long ago and struck out with them all. Of course, none of them were ever involved in the forums and interested in the community here either, unlike me. It appears that whenever women my age in my area do come to this site, they are only here to date and after taking a quick look at how few men there are in my area, they pretty much leave the site for good. I guess I and my peers don't impress them very much, however many there may be of us.......I get the feeling that one reason I struck out with the women on here in my area is that being non-believers was about all we had in common, besides maybe, in some cases, being politically liberal. As far as anything else tho, like being family-oriented or tastes in entertainment and music (such as liking country music and college sports), they were probably a lot more traditional and conservative than me, which most people in Iowa are. I've found that in Iowa, just because a woman is an Agnostic, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is also that much of a hipster or non-conformist in other ways, like not having kids or being not very family-oriented. On the coasts, those other traits tend to come with being Agnostic more than they do in the Midwest.
I just love this!
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:
Didn't know they had photo booths back then.
After a thought-process-altering experience with a man with whom I became embroiled on an online ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:
I'm glad to see most of the thread agrees with me on this one. I have no kids and my siblings are generally very toxic people, as was my father for most of his life, not so much now. My friends, on the other hand, are almost all people I have known for over 25 years and have been my salvation and real source of support. I get so sick of women on dating sites assuming that I am toxic, dysfunctional, etc. and seeing red flags about me because I am not close to my family and that I state in my profile that my friends are my real family and have been for a long time, along with saying that I am not very family-oriented, but willing to spend some time with a woman's family after dating a few months. I think there is a lot of denial going on with at least some of the women in my area on the paid dating site I am on, because there's no way that all of them have wonderful families that they are close to or that they are all as family-oriented as they claim to be in their profiles. If by some miracle I actually met a woman on the paid site that was compatible and we started dating for a few months (so far in 16 months I've never met anyone more than 3 times), I would first introduce them to some of my friends, sooner than that if they insisted as it would be no problem for me. As far as my family, that would be another matter and more like several months to a year before I would expose them to family. BTW, my mother is dead, my siblings have never really understood and accepted me or been supportive as adults and always seen me as a failure in most things. Unlike my friends, in their mind I am to blame for everything bad that has ever happened to me, unlike my friends, who've actually been close to me and around me during the last 25 years. In the meantime I would gladly explain to them why I was not eager to introduce them to my family. I've been widowed two years now and both I and my late wife were not close with our families, but made up for it with friends. Her family all lived far away too, as does most of mine. Someone else posted a thread recently about whether people value achievements vs. relationships. That describes my family to a T. Unlike me and my friends, they value money and careers above all else, so with them it's all about achievements, where they have done well as adults and I haven't. So they see me as an embarrassment and a failure. Why would I be close to people who have such a fundamental difference and such a low opinion of me? It's also no surprise that my siblings don't even have much involvement with each other. Anybody else in this same boat?
Seems about right. [youtu.be]
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
Such an adventurous, curious kitty...
I can't believe this! A woman that I have gone out with on approximately 6 or seven dates in the the...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
In the words of one of my fav movies, " What we have here, is a failure to communicate...". Seriously man, I have no idea. Unless she is mentally unbalanced, I have no idea what is going on in her mind to say something like that. Maybe you got off easy with this one. Flush.......
Greetings Agnostics! Call me Mr. Catfish. I received a message today from a faraway romantic land...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
Hey Deiter, let us know if you need tissues for wiping up your bucketful of dream when you grow tired of sitting in it, lol!
Greetings Agnostics! Call me Mr. Catfish. I received a message today from a faraway romantic land...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
Advance sarcasm alert!!! ( So nobody bashes me for PI humor). I would suggest to the men that ordering a blow-up doll might be a better investment than sending Irina any money, just MHO.....everybody should choose their own fantasies, I guess. Funny post, Deiter! You're so generous to share her love with us.....
So, I've met some folks from this site and that turned into at least one really good solid ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
What is SJW? I've seen that here in a couple threads, so I figure it's time to ask what it means. I would love to date someone as lefty as me, as long as they are not way bitter or adversarial towards men in general and also not militantly vegan either. That's one area of PC and being lefty that I don't subscribe too and get annoyed with the pressure from most lefty's that I should be vegan too. So I can relate with you some..
Pretty much how I envision most of the Agnostic Ladies I interact with here on a regular basis. You...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
Who wants someone normal and mainstream anyway???
Had a very disheartening experience yesterday at a grocery store. Hy-Vee is a chain based in Iowa ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
Update: I left a comment card yesterday at the store stating my complaint about the scan and go machines replacing the express lanes with the cashiers. He called me today and "assured " me that the scan and go machines had been requested by customers, so that's why they made the switch and that they "were not going to be losing any jobs or replacing any workers" with this move. Yeah, right..... How many of you honestly think that's the truth??
I fucking love her! Just because something is legal doesn't make it moral. [m.facebook.com]
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:
It's legalized bribery, plain and simple. And until Buckley vs. Valeo is overturned (highly unlikely), big money will continue to own DC. You can't reform the system as long as the above precedent is in place, which equates money with free speech.
How do you feel about assisted suicide at the end of your journey in this life. I am definitely in ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:
I hope I have the capacity and the courage to end my life once my health and quality of life are irreversably poor, but I would appreciate it if I could legally have a doctor aid me in doing this. If that is not an option by then, I will find a way even if I have to order the drugs by mail to do it.
Had a very disheartening experience yesterday at a grocery store. Hy-Vee is a chain based in Iowa ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:
PS- I expect this kind of shit from Walmart, who we all know is evil, but it was sickening to see it done by this long-time, family-founded grocery chain.
Online Dating Practices
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:
Agreed. Most of the time women click on Like for me, they have not read my profile and are simply indicating that they feel my main photo is acceptable looking enough that they might be interested in me. By itself, it's worthless as far as I'm concerned and I don't bother messaging those women after their Like click. They are being lazy.
Midnight the Cat Saves Baby's Life [youtu.be]
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:
That cat's face seems to be saying "Please go away..".
Why would someone not have a profile picture on a dating site? I find it frustrating. Not that I ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 6, 2019:
I think the reasons for not having a pic in the profile on a paid dating site have been pretty well covered. I will simply share the one experience I had messaging someone who had no pic in their profile. This woman happened to view my profile and liked it enough to send me a Like. I then viewed her profile and messaged her saying I was interested in learning more about her, but was also concerned about her not having a pic. She said she had no pic because she was a college prof and didn't want her students or colleagues to see her pic and know she was on the site. She also agreed to send me a couple pics thru e-mail and did so. She did say that she was concerned that I might decide to reject her after seeing the pics, but I said I wouldn't know until I saw them and that it was only fair after she had already seen several pics of me. She sent the pics, I decided her looks were good enough for me to still be interested, but after chatting some more thru e-mails, we hit a dealbreaker difference on something, so we never ended up meeting. Most of the women I end up chatting with on that site end up hitting a dealbreaker like this before an in person meeting ever happens. I would add that this barrier of hitting a dealbreaker happens not because my profile essay is not detailed or specific enough, but because in most cases the woman's profile is not long and detailed enough and they have not really thought thru possible differences before they begin chatting with me.
Can I qualify as a "Boomer" and an "80's Boomer"? I do remember having to clip many shoulder ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 5, 2019:
When I was in high school and college, my friends were always older than me, so in that way I was exposed to a lot of the older Boomer culture. At the same time tho, once I got out of college, I began to hang out some of the time with younger people as well. I also continued to keep up on the new trends in music and culture as well. So that's why I feel like a part of both Boomer groups.
How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month. I don't know if any of you have to...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:
I just did a net search to refresh my memory of Chris Rock's rant about Black History Month and it led me to an SNL sketch with Tom Hanks called Black Jepordy (the game show). I hadn't ever watched this, but it was not only crazy funny, but made a great point that in many ways rednecks and poor blacks have more in common than differences. How ironic....In the end, poverty shapes culture more than race.....
How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month. I don't know if any of you have to...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:
Ignorant is as ignorant does.....
I don't always make stupid mistakes...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:
I also look around in each direction when I fart so people will think it was someone else...
Okay, a very basic question (which may or may not have a long or short answer!): what are your five ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:
Godspell Hair Grease Jesus Christ Superstar Evita And in all cases I am only referring to the stage versions. The film versions of Grease and Godspell are very lame to me.
Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?... (Ya, there's a ton but the poll only allows 8 ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:
I was very torn between #1 and #6.
When you scold your dog ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:
The cat reminding the human who's boss...
Time for bed...according Osiris
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 3, 2019:
Better than being smothered to death with a pillow.
This is my first post here...it can be a sore subject, as I've been separated and divorced since ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 2, 2019:
Glad to hear validation of how much looks matter in who will bother to get to know you and who won't. It is an equal gender thing and I get sick of how many women try to claim otherwise and bash men who point out the truth of how much looks matter over personality in the initial screening process. Too bad there is no such thing as a dating site where people in the more average leagues and classes of looks didn't have to compete against the 8s and 9s. Because then, in such a format, the profile essay and other traits would be given more serious consideration by the opposite gender.
Is 62 okay?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 2, 2019:
So now that I have outlined my tastes in music, you can all see why I hate country music so much even tho I have been around it my whole life in Iowa, where it dominates the radio and general music scene. Country is the antithesis of alternative and hipster music, both of which I love.
I'm not usually not one to get sucked in by the sentimental. I'm usually the one here who finds the ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 2, 2019:
I've always been big fan of Patti too and I share your sentiment Deiter.
Fatty Catty Fun
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
Cats can't deny their feelings of importance....The human just hasn't learned their place yet..
Zeymour being Zeymour
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
Beautiful fur.
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
This kitten looks just like the one on a birthday card I got that said "Please have a Happy Birthday. Don't make me go all sad kitty eyes..".
I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles. Inspiration from this morning's visit to the fitness ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.
Is 62 okay?
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of my favorite bands, but also the English Beat and R.E.M.. Meanwhile, during the 80s, most of my age peers were still listening to their Pink Floyd or other Old Wave bands and hanging on to hippie styles. In the 90s I began to sing karaoke and now one of my most sung tunes are Smiths songs, which I really enjoy singing not only for my love of all the sick fun of The Smiths, but also the pleasure I get from watching the many country music fans at karaoke here in Iowa scratch their heads and stare when I sing Morrissey or The Smiths. The hicks and rednecks just can't wrap their heads around New Wave.... I even watched a bar fight break out at a karaoke show once while I was singing There Is A Light.... I think the song just aggravated a couple guys too much...... When I'm feeling esp. brave or cruel, I will sing I Know It's Over. And, as far as R.E.M. and The Smiths go, both bands are just a natural extension of the David Bowie and Lou Reed music that I grew up listening to...
"We haven't been fed in our entire life!!" I just gave them a snack 30 minutes ago. Now the ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
My neighbor's cat weighs 18 pounds and no wonder.. She feeds her three times a day plus a bedtime snack. She's very fat even without the 3 layers of fur.
It's another freezing cold in Indiana. -30s with the wind chill. Everything is closed. Working from ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:
Got down to -20 yesterday, not counting wind chill. I've been holed up since Mon. eve. and came out for the first time this evening. Just too cold for Tue., Wed., and most of today. Mail service was suspended yesterday. I'm grateful that I have a condo with an underground indoor garage for my car. Best investment I've made in years.
Update on the second date update. Soooooo, 45 minutes after our agreed upon time to meet, he called ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 31, 2019:
This guy is a bum. Time to flush... At least in your case of being stood up, the other party didn't end up claiming they "simply forgot about the date". In my case, we had made the plan five days before and there were no weather issues to have a need for confirmation contact on the day of. In my case the woman was probably juggling a few different guys for getting together, but with me I treat all adults as adults until proven otherwise. So, if I make plans with someone for less than a week before the meeting, I'm not their parent and am not going to contact them the day of to confirm under normal circumstances. I will not enable and if they don't show up, they are either a flake or were never that interested to begin with.......
Fifty Ways...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 31, 2019:
It's all about getting fed.
So gracefully inept. Gotta love him! [facebook.com]
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 30, 2019:
Ok, so the cat will never be an athlete, but is still very cute, esp. the tail.
Thanks to @actofdog, maybe that explains it...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 30, 2019:
That is one very fat cat.
I thought it might be a good idea for us to look at some of the dating terms out there. Here's an ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 30, 2019:
I've experienced most of these without knowing the terms. In the end, they all boil down to people who are selfish, immature, dishonest and love playing their games. Anyone with integrity, kindness, strength, and emotional health would not do this stuff to others.
I've come real close to this.. REAL CLOSE:
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 29, 2019:
The cat's companion looks a lot like Mrs. Bates from Psycho...
The nuclear reactor operator > texted, and talked for days, agree to meet. I'm there, 15 minutes ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 28, 2019:
What a disaster this guy was.. I assume you met him from some other site than this one. I'm amazed you indulged him that long. All I can say is that there are much better guys out there and he was probably lying about his job.
If cats played the piano: [facebook.com]
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 28, 2019:
Poor kitty, don't hurt those precious teeth.
A story/Part 3 - The Bad Part So...after my 1st night with the new lady we got together here and ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 28, 2019:
Your story with her would fit in with most made for TV films on Lifetime Network. Maybe you should write it up and send it in.
There's only us There's only this Forget regret Or life is yours to miss No other road No other...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 27, 2019:
Just finished watching the live broadcast of Rent. It was better than expected and, yes, the message is timeless.
Mean Kitty Song appropriate here... [youtu.be]
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 27, 2019:
Big and bad, large and in charge!
Liquid...or just a noodle?
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 27, 2019:
Feline gymnast....
So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 27, 2019:
I'm also a big fan of JC Superstar and I thought the TV concert last Easter was a very mixed bag. Alice Cooper was actually kind of weak on his song, John Legend couldn't act at all, Sara Barilles(sp?) was ok, and the rest of the cast was excellent. I had seen better versions of it on PBS where they had all stage actors and weren't trying to pull in ratings by casting celebrity singers. I didn't see Grease or Rocky Horror on for the TV broadcasts because I didn't think they would be well done compared to the stage versions I had already seen long ago, so I wasn't interested in them. Thank you for starting this group Amy. Maybe I should start a karaoke group, since it is my main hobby and social outlet these days?
I was on the train into NYC this afternoon, and a little girl sitting with her parents was on her ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 27, 2019:
Ironically, that would be Godspell, which I saw in Chicago on a junior high class trip back in 1973 when I was still Catholic. Interestingly, the local professional company included Merrell Jackson, a Chicago native who was in the movie cast of the show as well as Joe Montegna, who went on to quite a movie and theater career before his longtime role in Criminal Minds. In Godspell, Joe played Judas that night, but it appeared that the cast often traded roles in the production run of the show.
So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 27, 2019:
I have a karaoke friend who is actually dreading this live production of Rent, a show she loves along with Hamilton, because of how much she's afraid Fox will try to sanitize it for TV, maybe even go for a PG-13 level of content. She is already firmly convinced the whole song Contact will be left out as well as maybe some verses of other songs to avoid some of the profanity. I'm not as big a fan of Rent as her, but I am just as personally concerned about what NBC is going to do to my beloved Hair in their May broadcast. I'm guessing they will leave out the whole song Sodomy, which is no big deal to me. But I'm more concerned about how they will handle the whole anti-war theme of the show, since NBC's parent company is GE, a huge defense contractor. It's no coincidence that in all the years SNL has been irreverent about politics, it's never had much, if any, material that was anti-war. Maybe they'll just gloss over that whole theme and leave out 3500 and Walking In Space, for starters. BTW, I thought the film version of Hair was excellent, esp. the dancing and the choreography by Twyla Tharp. The director was Milos Forman and he was smart enough to use Treat Williams and John Savage, both stage veterans, to play the two male leads.

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Agnostic, Atheist, Humanist, Secularist, Freethinker, Spiritual
Open to meeting women
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