Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@anglophone True. I like Gwen, and I know that she is more of just a happy contrarian troublemaker than a mean-spirited person, I agree with you. I have no interest in playing mind games or power games with someone in the dating game, much less later in a committed relationship. I try to keep in mind that Gwen has long had no interest in any relationships with men. I find that if one is interested in finding real relationships and a committed partner, playing power games early on is not a good or constructive idea. If one is only interested in amusing or entertaining themselves, while also being cold and insensitive to the other person, I suppose it's their choice and their business, but I personally would resent them for doing it to me, since my only sin would be sincere interest in them until I discovered their attitude.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2022:

First off, I agree with your attitude. We are all individuals, in each gender. Hard as it is to do, with all the rejection and disappointment that teaches us in the dating game to be wary of red flags and negative patterns in dating and messaging behavior with online dating, we still need to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Thanks, and in no way am I looking for a duplicate of her or even a replay of my marriage to her. I just want someone who gets and appreciates me like she did and that I did her. But she grew up in NY and was so different than the vast majority of women in my local dating pool. So it would almost be like lightning striking twice. My best bet would be another woman who is a transplant to Iowa like she was. But my experience with online dating shows that those women usually don't want me, because, unlike her, they are much more materialistic than me and only want guys with lots of money, docs and lawyers, or other high status type careers, because living on either coast is more expensive than here and they are used to being with men in that league rather than me, even tho I seem to have as much money as these women, they also want a man with the status of their former partners.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

BitFlipper comments on May 29, 2022:

Both men and women have our ways of sending coded messages. "I know how to treat a woman" means he's willing to spend money. When women say "I love sailing" they're looking for a guy with money. I limit my statements of requirements to honest and real things. Don't follow my lead, it doesn't ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

You're quite right, Dave. I hate the use of code words and I won't do it. But here in the Midwest, esp., it no doubt counts or works against me. I so wish I could meet a woman who, like me, rejects them and isn't turned off or scared away by someone not using them.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 I see your point Gwen, but I think there are probably some guys that are not assholes and honestly do want to know what you are thinking about them and would appreciate the woman asking them some ?s in case they forgot to bring some things up. Not all encounters of the sexes need to be treated as some hostile game of mental chess. Frankly, I would be uncomfortable and turned off by someone playing coy the whole time and not giving me any clues about where I stand with them or what they thought of my things said to them. It would remind me way too much of the many job interviews in my life where the employer held all the cards and sat back playing mind games with me the whole time. I am so glad to be retired and out of that and frankly, a woman choosing to act that same way with me in a first date/meeting would really turn me off as them playing a rather selfish power game with me.

I was communicating with a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 28, 2022:

As Bugs Bunny used to say, "What a maroon...". Now you've got me curious what his unusual username was.... As for the ? about his work before retiring, I get asked that ? most of the time by women on Match, since I don't list anything about that in my profile. Some of the women, like you, are asking...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Me too. I recently encountered one on Match, reported them, and then got an e-mail from Match that their membership was terminated for fraudulent activity.

How DISGUSTING! And out there right now, is some girl saying, "Yes! Oh course I'll go with ...

silverotter11 comments on May 28, 2022:

I heard about this, not going to watch the video. The white racists in this society have really come out of the woodwork since trump became the media fix starting in 2016.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 29, 2022:

Yup, they are proud, arrogant and defiant about their racism, which is why I like to confront them, when I can do it safely, and point out that not everyone agrees with them in my town, even if they are the vast majority here. I can't stand to let them think everyone agrees with them or is too scared to call them out on their racism.

How DISGUSTING! And out there right now, is some girl saying, "Yes! Oh course I'll go with ...

mcgeo52 comments on May 28, 2022:

Why am I not surprised it happened at Laguna Niguel? The spirit of John Birch lives in OC.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

Well-heeled white racists have been around forever, they never left places like OC..

Amid all the carnage and tears at home, let's not take our eyes off the unfolding atrocities in ...

dkp93 comments on May 28, 2022:

Damn, I had to check Google because I thought he was long dead. Just hush, enjoy your bingo and pudding, and be glad you aren't in prison. We will take it from here.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

Nope, only the good die young, pricks and bitches seem to live forever... If hell existed, then no doubt his colleague and former boss Nixon would be there waiting for him....

I was communicating with a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 28, 2022:

As Bugs Bunny used to say, "What a maroon...". Now you've got me curious what his unusual username was.... As for the ? about his work before retiring, I get asked that ? most of the time by women on Match, since I don't list anything about that in my profile. Some of the women, like you, are asking...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Yeah, some of the worst offenders are the ones who boast about their honesty or how they are not game players. In online dating, I am always wary of women who protest or say more than a little about how they hate game players, or about how honest they are, etc. If you really are those things, you only need to mention it once and mildly. It's like they are either projecting their own bad qualities onto others, while denying it about themselves.. You nailed him on his own fakeness...

I was communicating with a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 28, 2022:

Sounds like the guy is more than a bit thin-skinned and defensive, all red flags... I don't mind or resent the ?s at all, and am glad to give an honest answer, since anything else is not only unethical to me, but will not change the outcome later of the woman rejecting me for being deceitful. My ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I would, but I can't. I blocked him a while ago, so you will have to share it with me in a PM.

The refusal of the NRA to acknowledge its part in the mass murder of children in the U$A merely ...

linxminx comments on May 28, 2022:

"...greedy, ignorant, self-serving assholes." That pretty much describes corporate America.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@jlynn37 I have to take issue with that. I don't think certainly that all Americans fit that, but their leaders certainly do. I think the majority of Americans just don't possess the ability to think critically and so they are easily manipulated, as well as the fact that many Americans who do possess those skills have become so demoralized they have simply given up on voting or trying to change the system. But by no means are that last group like the leaders we have in America serving in DC.

If we don't grapple with our bloody past, our future will look just like our bloody present.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2022:

I have little doubt things will only get worse during the rest of my life, unless the masses wake up and start voting third party in fed elections to get us out of the corruption of the duopoly. And even then, if by some miracle, the majority of eligible voters did that, and managed to elect an ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Culture war issues are very effective,, esp. in largely rural states like Iowa, where the vast majority of voters are not well educated or, to be bluntly honest, that intelligent. So if the voters see little difference between the parties on economic issues, because frankly they are not that different, then they will vote according to how they feel about the culture war issues. It has been proven time and again that when someone on the Dem side like Bernie Sanders presents a left wing populist economic message, it has great appeal to most voters, even many of those who voted for Trump in the last two elections. But the Dem leaders would rather lose than pick up those voters as well as independent voters, by allowing a progressive to get the nomination. Many working class Trump voters could be won over with a candidate and message like Bernie, but the DNC would never allow that to happen.

Jan. 6 panel told Trump indicated support for hanging Mike Pence - The Washington Post

rainmanjr comments on May 26, 2022:

For the record I’m in favor of hanging all three.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

@rainmanjr Nah, I don't see any of those as being realistically feasible, and shame is beyond their capacity, so I still favor Plan A... Fear is one thing they do understand and respond to...

Jan. 6 panel told Trump indicated support for hanging Mike Pence - The Washington Post

rainmanjr comments on May 26, 2022:

For the record I’m in favor of hanging all three.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

@rainmanjr For a long time, I've been in favor of targeted assassinations of our rich oligarchs, but it would be next to impossible to get to them.

The next U.S. abortion battle is over pills, and it's already begun | Reuters

Mooolah comments on May 26, 2022:

And the anti choice groups hope to pursue access to donor lists of Pro-Choice donors. As with Howard Stern, Texas might tissue an arrest warrant for me.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

They can issue all they want, they aren't going to be able to extradite you for it and I doubt you will be voluntarily visiting that shithole state anyway...

Jan. 6 panel told Trump indicated support for hanging Mike Pence - The Washington Post

rainmanjr comments on May 26, 2022:

For the record I’m in favor of hanging all three.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

The deaths of all three would not cause any harm to our politics, except for the inevitable martyrdom and conspiracy theories that would grow out of it.

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

OldMetalHead comments on May 26, 2022:

I love how they're harping on how inappropriate it is to bring up "politics" in the midst of a tragedy that they themselves are unwilling to prevent.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

@OldMetalHead Willfully tone deaf...

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

OldMetalHead comments on May 26, 2022:

I love how they're harping on how inappropriate it is to bring up "politics" in the midst of a tragedy that they themselves are unwilling to prevent.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

And how was that whole Repub gathering not a political event?

PSA - SNL - YouTube

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 26, 2022:

Not available.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

It worked fine for me, maybe it's because you live in Canada.

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

AnonySchmoose comments on May 26, 2022:

I agree with Beto and Cohen that mass shootings and guns are political, mass shootings are preventable with strict gun regulation. With dignified behavior, Beto was the only one audible in there who is a patriot, believes the reasons for a constitution, for a redress of grievances, for freedom of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

Well, you know how it is, when you're a Repub, you're automatically above and exempt from feeling shame, hypocrisy, or apology for anything. Conservatives and Repubs see those things as strictly for losers, liberals, and other suckers that still believe in honesty, fairness, and caring about your fellow human. To them, it's all about themselves and their family, no loyalty or compassion for anyone else.

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

WilliamCharles comments on May 26, 2022:

It reminded me of the end scene in The Graduate when everyone was cussing out Dustin Hoffman's character. "You son-of-a-bitch!!"

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

Yes, the righteous hypocrites turn very nasty once they are confronted...

Nothing can be done to prevent school shootings, but somehow this is the only country that has such ...

NostraDumbass comments on May 25, 2022:

I’m in the middle of a conversation with a gun lover named Spike Talon. From his perspective, the real problem is mental health. Solve that problem (which actually exists everywhere) and you will solve the gun violence problem. Another problem is the existence of “No Weapons Zones”, which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

@OldMetalHead Yup.

If we don't grapple with our bloody past, our future will look just like our bloody present.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2022:

I have little doubt things will only get worse during the rest of my life, unless the masses wake up and start voting third party in fed elections to get us out of the corruption of the duopoly. And even then, if by some miracle, the majority of eligible voters did that, and managed to elect an ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I understand your concern about splitting the votes of people on the left, but lesser evil voting and supporting the Dems in federal elections for the last forty years has only led to the party moving further to the right. When, in your opinion, is it time to say "enough"? It seems we are always being told to wait and hold off until after this election to go with a third party, etc.. I've had enough and feel we have nothing to lose at this point.

Nothing can be done to prevent school shootings, but somehow this is the only country that has such ...

NostraDumbass comments on May 25, 2022:

I’m in the middle of a conversation with a gun lover named Spike Talon. From his perspective, the real problem is mental health. Solve that problem (which actually exists everywhere) and you will solve the gun violence problem. Another problem is the existence of “No Weapons Zones”, which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@OldMetalHead Funny you mention Reagan as prez cutting mental health funding. As governor of California, he suddenly found himself supporting gun control once the Black Panthers in that state began carrying weapons in public, including at the state capital...

Nothing can be done to prevent school shootings, but somehow this is the only country that has such ...

NostraDumbass comments on May 25, 2022:

I’m in the middle of a conversation with a gun lover named Spike Talon. From his perspective, the real problem is mental health. Solve that problem (which actually exists everywhere) and you will solve the gun violence problem. Another problem is the existence of “No Weapons Zones”, which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@NostraDumbass So true. The 2nd Amendment was written when all guns were single shot weapons. How the hell should that still apply to all weapons, even ones that are automatic and hold clips of as much as 30 rounds?

Many people (the vast majority IMO) are intellectual misers when it comes to political issues.

skado comments on May 25, 2022:

True enough. Human nature leans in the direction of mimetic desire, and it takes quite a lot of effort to achieve escape velocity.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

It takes courage and strength to seek the truth for yourself, instead of just following the bandwagon and mimicing the majority of the human herd. Same with seeking and finding what is most positive for you, and hopefully also positive for the rest of society as well. What is positive for others may not be a positive choice or behavior for you, thus the benefit of not blindly mimicing the choices of the majority. Human nature also, for most people, seeks the path of least resistance and the greatest convenience, as well as self-interest over the greater good.

Although, i'm an agnostic i'm kinda leaning towards God as a malicious prankster.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2022:

I've always pictured God, if there was one, as a cruel jokester, who created, sat back, and let humans be an ongoing experiment..

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Indeed.

The 18-year-old Buffalo, New York shooter bought his AR15 assault rifle legally.

linxminx comments on May 25, 2022:

As long as Americans equate gun regulation with lack of freedom, not much will change. I think when the older generations die off in the US we might see some change. My generation's parents equated gun control as a sign we would be taken over by a communist country. This feeling was passed on ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

I guess I'm one of those rare Boomers who wants sensible gun control and is intelligent and sane enough to know that personal gun ownership is not an effective protection against foreign invasion. We need to depend on our military for that. And the real threat to the common people is our own fascist government run by the rich and corporations. And against that, personal gun ownership is not going to be enough or effective against that as long as the majority of the cops and military side with them instead of us. We would be way outgunned and they would have superior coordination and communications. Gun owners who are rednecks or militia members who think they would win that kind of war are dreaming. Our only protection from dictatorship ruling here is if the majority of the cops and military chose to revolt in favor of our side, and I am not optimistic that they would. So in the meantime, we need gun control to prevent continued slaughter by right wing mass shooters and angry kids wanting to kill the other kids they hate at their school.

Wash your hands before...

OldGoat43 comments on May 25, 2022:

Seriously. I don't play around. Keep your distance.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

Or I'll bite...

WTAF?

Scott321 comments on May 25, 2022:

This has happened similarly in Florida and not entirely Republican. Never let a horrific tragedy go to waste. Exploit it to knock more holes into Jefferson’s wall: https://www.tampabay.com/blogs/gradebook/2018/02/21/florida-house-approves-bill-to-post-in-god-we-trust-in-all-public-schools/

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

More Thoughts And Prayers bullshit. This Dem pol should know better than that...

The same people who are always screaming about big government and insisting that the markets will ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 24, 2022:

And they're also the same hypocritical shitheads who say " Government should be run like a business"...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Maybe that's the plan. So the rich will survive when it all blows up and the peasants will all die or live with nothing to survive on.

That's a sign I would stand behind.

racocn8 comments on May 24, 2022:

Major kudos to anyone who calls them out for what they are (Nazis).

TomMcGiverin replies on May 24, 2022:

Nazis or fascists, I'm fine with either one, as both are accurate...

I am not a Conservative (at least not in the American meaning of this word), but I have to ...

DenoPenno comments on May 24, 2022:

As we travel through life we find it is not anything with Democrats or Republicans. It all has to do with the haves or the have nots. This is it.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 24, 2022:

Yup, it's not so much left and right, but up and down. As the Occupy movement said so eloquently, the 99% and the 1%, the opposing sides in the class war.

Southern Baptist Convention leaders mishandled sexual abuse allegations, report says - CNN

TomMcGiverin comments on May 23, 2022:

Southern evangelical good old boys who hate women. So, what else is new?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 24, 2022:

@anglophone Very possible.

New Rule: Along for the Pride | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

TomMcGiverin comments on May 23, 2022:

I'm so sick of liberals focusing on culture war stuff to the exclusion of any real effort to fighting class warfare against the rich and corporations, because doing so ensures that the working class will never side with people like me and instead will side with the theocrats. And that is how we will...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 23, 2022:

@rainmanjr Suit yourself regarding Obama or Slick Willie. As far as I'm concerned, they were both lying sellouts who also carried on the same neoliberal, war-mongering policies as the two Bushes. I hate them both and both used their office to serve corporate America and then get handsomely repaid later by going on the lecture circuit, just as I knew they would, to cash in on that service. As Bill Maher, who is far from perfect himself, but often bluntly so right about politicians, said about Obama and his policies, " He was Bush Jr. (W,) in blackface". But since the Dem Party is so obsessed with PC and depending on black voters, no one in the party had the guts to call him on his corrupt policies while he was in office, except for Bernie...and even then, Bernie would get punished for it by having it implied that he was racist or at best unsympathetic to black folks. When the truth was, he was simply calling out corruption when he saw it, the same as he does with Repubs. I so hate it when race is weaponized and used against the left and progressives by Dem centrists and corrupt party loyalists.

New Rule: Along for the Pride | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

TomMcGiverin comments on May 23, 2022:

I'm so sick of liberals focusing on culture war stuff to the exclusion of any real effort to fighting class warfare against the rich and corporations, because doing so ensures that the working class will never side with people like me and instead will side with the theocrats. And that is how we will...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 23, 2022:

@rainmanjr I agree that the Dem Party is not allied with fundy religion or the Federalist Society, but they sure as hell are in Wall Street's, Corporate America's, the ruling class's and the MIC's pockets, rather than on our side in the class war. I suppose we have to first defeat the theocrats, then fight the class war with a third party later, after dumping the Dems. I am not optimistic we will even win that first war, and I am so fucking sick of being told to trust the Dems and vote Blue No Matter Who for the last forty years while the Dems kept lying and selling out the 99%.

@duchessa1 has blocked me after replying to a comment I made.

Diaco comments on May 14, 2022:

Hmm, who's he/she! "Member is not available."! apparently, he blocked me before too :D

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend Now that combination is just weird and wrong!

Can anybody explain to me why people mount lethal assaults on their life partners, please?

Barnie2years comments on May 18, 2022:

10 years in prison for murder? Slap on the wrist for assault? I thought American justice was lax! Where is the incentive not to kill your partner when you’re pissed at them? Couple of years you can go back out and find a new punching bag! 🤬

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

American justice is certainly not lax if you are poor, colored or a drug user, tho that last one is getting better.

Waiter! Bring me food! [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on May 21, 2022:

Impatient and greedy! Cats probably shouldn't get people food that often, but some of them would even eat lasagna...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada That's probably healthier for them.

Poll Reveals American Church Membership Is At An All-Time Low

Silver1wun comments on May 21, 2022:

This is the 'atheist rapture' going o. Though slower than the one Christian aligned cults anticipate for themselves, it will nevertheless result in THEM being left behing in an unmanageable non-reality. We're emancipated and they remain trapped and abandoned, in dwindling numbers.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

We shall see..

Too all the woman out there...EXACTLY!!!!

Garban comments on May 20, 2022:

I agree with his conclusions, but question his motivation. He’s sincere, or maybe just horny? Just saying.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 20, 2022:

@Garban Who knows? Could be any or all of them.

Too all the woman out there...EXACTLY!!!!

Garban comments on May 20, 2022:

I agree with his conclusions, but question his motivation. He’s sincere, or maybe just horny? Just saying.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 20, 2022:

True. You often never know someone's true motivations. For example, here on Agnostic, I can't count the number of times I've seen male members here side with women that were male-bashing on the boards and wondered, "Were they motivated by fear of being ostrasized by female members on here (if they sided against the woman), or were they doing it because they wanted to score points with the female members in hope of impressing them and ending up with a girlfriend from the site?" The latter of which would be pretty unlikely unless they wanted to start a long distance relationship.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

ToakReon comments on May 16, 2022:

It depends on the christian girl. If she's the sort of christian that genuinely accepts that being a christian does not mean she has the divine right to ram her faith in other people's faces, then the difference in 'religious view' could be manageable. If, on the other hand, she's a full-blown...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@creative51 Quite true. I have been a member of two Unitarian churches in my area. But I would add one caveat about Unitarian women. In my experience, many of the older single ones, say age 50 or older, are so rabidly feminist, to the point of being fairly negative about men in general, and very closely tied to their Unitarian sisters in the church congregation and other outside female friends, as well as their kids and grandkids, if they have them, that a lot of them are really not interested in dating men. And it is not because of any lesbian sexual orientation or such, they simply come to feel that romantic and sexual relationships with men are not important or relevant to their lives anymore. Which is fine, but it can be pretty disappointing and frustrating for single Unitarian men who come to church looking for a partner. Fortunately for me, I was married for most of my years with that church. I went there sporadically for a couple years after I was widowed, but stopped going after I no longer felt I fit in there socially anymore, with all the couples, the young families and all these dedicated, content spinsters and otherwise uninterested women my age.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

xenoview comments on May 16, 2022:

Please delete 3 of you extra postings.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@xenoview He's right, Buck, you may not be responsible, for the duplicates, but only you and the admin. or site support can delete them. And we all know they are MIA, so why not be a nice and helpful guy, rather than a defensive dick, and remove them? Just be a grownup, rather than childish and stubborn...

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

creative51 comments on May 16, 2022:

I have found a few enlightened women over the years, so they are out there. You just have to look carefully. You are likely not going to find anyone on this site, but the community discourse is interesting.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

You won't find anyone local, that's for sure, on this site, unless you live in a few very secular areas of the US, or in a very large metro area, and by that, I'm talking at least a couple million or more in population. And even then, lots of large US cities have very few non-believers who are on this site.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

Julie808 comments on May 16, 2022:

When I was actively searching online for a dating partner, I was adamant and very outspoken that I was only interested in non-religious men, whether agnostic, atheist, freethinkers, what have you, but nobody who is a believer in monotheism. That was like first line in my dating profile. It was ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

Even I have shaded my profile labels some to prevent the huge amount of rejection that being totally honest would cost me in my conservative, very traditional dating pool. But someone who would radically change their label on religion or something else really a core value, is not to be trusted enough to date. In my case, I have changed, on the advice of my therapist and my friends, my label on drinking alcohol from NO or non-drinker to "Sometimes, depends on the day", as a way of labelling myself as a social drinker, because in my dating pool, being a total non-drinker is a kiss of death in my local culture of social drinking being hugely important in most people's lives. Same with religion. I identify as " Spiritual, but not religious", which is a mild way to say I am not religious, rather than straight out saying I am Agnostic. Because, once again, most people in my local dating pool are too ignorant to know the meaning of Agnostic and have many negative prejudices about Agnostics and Atheists. Once a woman replies to my first message, I usually tell them I am an Agnostic. I am not trying to trick them, merely trying to get my foot in the door long enough to find out if the woman is strongly religious or unaccepting, since most women's profiles are not very specific about how religious they are and Match has now taken away our ability to view their profile's checklist of traits the member is looking for in a partner. So what choice do I have but to do that, since I am flying blind on who will reject me or not for being non-religious? Of course, if a woman is specific in her profile that she is strongly religious, I don't even bother messaging them. Everything else, I keep it totally honest and clear about my own traits, except my hatred of country music, because being honest about that in my profile or first message would be too radical, unusual, or seemingly extreme in my local area, that it would prematurely turn off too many women who are mostly compatible with me on music tastes, but still like country music some, tho not their favorite, and would otherwise reject me if I put my music view up front. So, obviously, when you are very offbeat for your local online dating pool, you need to advertise in a way that is as honest as possible, but still giving you enough opportunities with people who are mostly similar to you and willing to compromise and accept some differences between them and you. But that will never happen if your differences are all spelled out so explicitly that that everyone reading about them will assume you are too indiscreet or totally weird to be able to get along with people or fit in with their family or some of their friends. And in that case, you will be seen as too anti-social for their circle and them, so they will ...

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2022:

As far as being a "leftover", I am guessing, until I hear from you, that you are referring to another member saying sometime ago that everyone on dating sites is like an item in a thrift store, leftover items that are sometimes great bargains, etc, but are usually untaken because there is something ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@Sierra4 As Homer Simpson would say, man, " Beer, the cause and solution to all our problems.....".

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

JonnaBononna comments on May 16, 2022:

All I can say is you never know. I grew up outside of Bourbon Missouri, a town with a population just over 1600 as of the 2010 census, and I never would have thought there was any non believers there. But there's someone from there on this site!!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@JonnaBononna I know it well, JB. I once lived for two years in a small town of 2500 that had about that many churches and only two bars, plus a bowling alley that sold booze and had a bar in it. It taught me that there is something seriously fucked up, at least by my standards, in any place where that kind of ratio of churches to bars is going on....

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2022:

You need to keep an eye out for making duplicate posts, man. You ended up posting this three times. Need to delete the other two copies, maybe...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@Buck Nevertheless, the site system produced four total postings of your post. Why not delete three of them?

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

Normanbites comments on May 16, 2022:

She just "wandered off"?? Lucky you!! A divorce is usually financially catastrophic. Hopefully you can easily get an annulment .... but I would recommend that only if you plan to never do the matrimony thing again. I think it is one of those foolish things we do out of tradition .... you know, like ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

I wonder the same thing. I feel sure there are lots of women, even in my local area, that are at least non-religious, if not Agnostic or Atheist, because the numbers of them at the local Unitarian church have them in the majority there, but the problem is that probably most of those non-believing women are either already taken, not interested in dating, or unwilling to use dating sites. And yes, being alone is still better than being with the wrong person or kind of person for you.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TheoryNumber3 comments on May 16, 2022:

No can do. Some things you simply can't agree to disagree on. Besides, who would want a partner who doesn't share your core values? I wouldn't want to have to censor myself in a relationship, and believe me I couldn't.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Thanks, that is very flattering to hear..

I am not a cyclist or a vegan, but I spent the afternoon at a brewery with both types.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2022:

You run into lots of them around breweries here, most of them are both types. And frankly, some of them can be pretty arrogant and snobby. Personally, I think a lot of these rec cyclists look pretty silly in their full biking gear, trying to look like participants in the Tour De France.....

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@GreenAtheist Yes, it does often seem to be a case of overkill, shameless exhibitionism, and wanting to show off how much money or status they have, or think they should have, compared to us average slobs....

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TheoryNumber3 comments on May 16, 2022:

No can do. Some things you simply can't agree to disagree on. Besides, who would want a partner who doesn't share your core values? I wouldn't want to have to censor myself in a relationship, and believe me I couldn't.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

My comment above about standards and dealbreakers was a reply to you. Sorry it ended up above your comment for some reason.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

Oldman51 comments on May 16, 2022:

I could live with one if they kept their religion and politics to themselves as I keep mine to myself.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

I can keep my lack of religion to myself most of the time with a partner, but I would never be able to keep my politics to myself in a relationship, so that is why I could date a moderately religious woman, but never a conservative one.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

JonnaBononna comments on May 16, 2022:

All I can say is you never know. I grew up outside of Bourbon Missouri, a town with a population just over 1600 as of the 2010 census, and I never would have thought there was any non believers there. But there's someone from there on this site!!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

That is astounding, considering the local culture there. I live in a metro area of more close to 300k, but have yet to meet a single person from this site, tho a couple women have been members here and left quickly after they joined. I think there have been a few men from my area on here as well, but they too were never interested in meeting me, understandably, I suppose, since they only joined for dating and never got involved in the community on Agnostic.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2022:

You need to keep an eye out for making duplicate posts, man. You ended up posting this three times. Need to delete the other two copies, maybe...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

We all need and deserve to have standards, and at least a few dealbreakers, in our dating preferences, with the understanding, of course, that each of them narrows our chances of finding a match and how many suitable people we will meet and end up dating in the game.

The eclipse for sure is present in the sky I couldn't see the blood moon though however I did locate...

LucyLoohoo comments on May 15, 2022:

Oh, lord...it's my ex-husband!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

Quick, time to load the silver bullets...

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

Mooolah comments on May 15, 2022:

I usually delete my account 30 seconds after joining. One is not a failure on these sites. Social circumstances make for challenging dating times. OUR TIME is Match for old codgers like us. Then there is Farmers Only which has some sincere folks says some reviews. Personally men should learn how to...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

I have to disagree with a lot of that. Why should bald men have to grow facial hair? I look better and younger without it. Why should women be presumptive enough to assume I have cancer without facial hair? That seems shallow, presumptive, and arrogant to make that assumption. I'm not cooridinated enough to dance well, so why should I be required to learn to dance or dance? By those same tokens, maybe all women should be required to not be overweight, etc. See what I mean, both genders can play the game of being overly-demanding and judgemental? I have tried Our Time, which is owned by the same conglomerate as Match, and it's actually a worse site. It has about the same age groups of older adults on it, but it has less profile info and smaller profiles for the members to post or go on in selecting who to message or reach out to. The OP's pics look fine, nothing to criticize or be suspicious of there. He has been doing anything but whine, Moolah. I think he has way more than a clue. I like you and realize you are just a born again spinster, but I think you are being way too hard on him and older men in general. Feel free to disagree or argue with me about these points, because I like and respect you, but I think you are wrong here about most of this, so I couldn't just let it pass... I realize you may have been saying most or all of it in jest, but it seemed hard to tell, so excuse me for being my usual serious self. I have grown tired of the constant male-bashing that would happen on these boards, so I feel compelled to challenge or address any statements that seem to imply or smack of that sentiment.

If budgets are moral documents, what does the US budget say about ours?

Ryo1 comments on May 15, 2022:

It is frustrating that we, tax payers, have no say in what our governments decide to do with our money.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

@Ryo1 I really do feel that desperate, tho I could well be wrong. Instead, it may end up being a situation where the country splits in two over its laws and policies, without physically separating into two countries, because they want to continue sharing a military for national defense, and to also share regulation and operation of natural resources and national parks. Like a couple that splits but continues to live together.

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2022:

As far as being a "leftover", I am guessing, until I hear from you, that you are referring to another member saying sometime ago that everyone on dating sites is like an item in a thrift store, leftover items that are sometimes great bargains, etc, but are usually untaken because there is something ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

@Sierra4 That's what I figured from looking at your pics. You are younger living and in better shape than most people your physical age. Too bad so many or most women in online dating are not willing to be open-minded and make the effort to get to know you and discover that in reality you might well be "young" enough for them. If nothing else, I have learned from your sharing about this and I plan to share it with my female 71 yo friend, both so she sees that she has company in the struggles of the older age dating game, and also to encourage her to remain open-minded about men her age on Match and to evaluate each of them case by case and with a clean slate, rather than make assumptions about all men in their early or mid 70s. Thank you for sharing and if nothing else, this has been helpful for me and her. Hell, man, you're probably in fitter shape and better physical condition than me, despite the age diff. . I can't even remember the last time I tried to run. If I did it now, I would probably hurt myself, so forget playing softball, etc...

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2022:

As far as being a "leftover", I am guessing, until I hear from you, that you are referring to another member saying sometime ago that everyone on dating sites is like an item in a thrift store, leftover items that are sometimes great bargains, etc, but are usually untaken because there is something ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

@Sierra4 Wow, that is really bullshit to refuse to date someone only two years older than you. That just goes to show that it's not only men who refuse to date someone their own age, and instead only want to date women much younger than them. Two years is nothing for an age difference and she clearly has issues about age that show her to be someone to pass on. I still would be interested in knowing your age, since it isn't in your profile on Agnostic. She assumes, without even meeting you, that you are "old", when she is practically the same age? What makes her supposedly so much "younger" than you in her health or thinking, etc.? I'd like to know how she presumes she is so much younger in most qualities than most men who are her age. Her example just shows how fucked up some people, probably many people, are out there in the online dating world. So I can see why, even if for just that reason, that you feel the process is useless and choose to give up on it. I feel pretty certain there is nothing wrong with your profile, and the problem is more in the women your age that are on dating sites. Believe me, I can relate, even tho I am younger. There is nothing either of us can do about living in a local dating pool that either just doesn't fit with us or is bone dry when it comes to women who are right for us and interested in us. Ok, now I see that you are 74. Then I do think it is all about age and the dating sites. You, like my 71 yo female widowed friend, appear to have aged out of the dating sites like Match, which seem to skew towards younger people, like in their late 60s for the top end of their membership numbers. The only alternative I can think of would be searching for dating sites that specialize in only senior citizens. I wish I knew of them, because at my current rate, I will probably still be alone at your age, in about ten years from now. My 71 yo friend has told me that most men her age that she encounters on Match seem to be too "old" for her in either their thinking or their physical health, as she looks younger than her age and is in good health for her age, but I have told her that she needs to be careful to not arbitrarily dismiss all men who are in their 70s on dating sites, because in doing so she will likely miss out on someone her age who is, like her," younger" than most folks in their age group and would be compatible for her. Obviously, the woman who rejected you on Match either lacks such advice from people in her life, or chooses to ignore them.

If budgets are moral documents, what does the US budget say about ours?

Ryo1 comments on May 15, 2022:

It is frustrating that we, tax payers, have no say in what our governments decide to do with our money.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

We do have a say, technically, with our right to vote. But as long as most people either don't vote or only vote for the two corrupt major parties, it makes no difference. We will only begin to have a say if most of us eligible to vote, dump both major parties and elect a president and congress that are not from the major parties. And even then, if that happened, I fear that the ruling class would then use the military to institute a crackdown and install a dictatorship that would serve the rich and corporations. But until then, we may as well get to it and try throwing out the two major parties and have the civil war that would probably be needed to get our country back, rather than continuing on with this charade of democracy...

A rural Kansas town voted to remove "In God We Trust" from police cars

BufftonBeotch comments on May 13, 2022:

"Comply or Die" might be more accurate.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

Esp. if you're colored and male....

‘Yoga Barbie’ blasted as Satanic and you couldn’t make this stuff up / Queerty

BufftonBeotch comments on May 14, 2022:

A Barbie with knees and hip that function like a reasonable human? Let alone a normal human breast size. SATAN!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

I was just waiting for The Church Lady to say that!

‘Yoga Barbie’ blasted as Satanic and you couldn’t make this stuff up / Queerty

KKGator comments on May 14, 2022:

Oh, FFS!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

It's obvious that some people need to get a life of their own and quit obsessing about the lives of others...

If budgets are moral documents, what does the US budget say about ours?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 14, 2022:

Because the MIC is the biggest lobbying group in our federal political system and war is very profitable, at least for an elite number of people in America. Providing for the basic needs of kids, or any other age group of Americans, is not profitable, in fact it would require the rich to pay more in...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

@p-nullifidian And since then, both parties sold out to the MIC, while the corporate media cooperates in making it taboo to discuss what Ike said at all.

Margaret Atwood Once Thought 'Handmaid's Tale' Was 'Too Far-Fetched.

KKGator comments on May 14, 2022:

There absolutely needs to be a lot more pushback against this garbage. There is no room for civility anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

Civility is for wimps, cowards, and those that remain in denial about political reality. Merely asking nicely and appealing to conscience quit being effective long ago. Power only responds to a fight and the threat of what may happen with violence. That is why the protests in the 60s were effective, because the powers that be were afraid of how the movements would tear and burn it all down or at least cause so much disruption that the rich and corporations could no longer do business as usual. The ruling class made concessions to MLK and the civil rights movement only because they preferred that rather than deal with folks like Malcom X or The Black Panthers, tho they later eliminated them both after making concessions. As for the anti-war radical groups, the war ended less because of them than because the rulers saw that they could no longer get enough cooperation and support for the draft from the young men to keep up the troop levels, so they began pulling back from Vietnam. The radical, violent anti-war groups were not that effective in stopping the war. The rulers were afraid of being humiliated with massive resistance to the draft.

Well, I guess this beats a pregnancy positive.

Mooolah comments on May 12, 2022:

As a teen I often thought about what would be worse, a pregnancy or an STI.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 13, 2022:

I'd say the pregnancy, unless the STI is incurable and permanent, like herpes or leprosy.

I say heck with it, lets just get the divorce! They can call their country trumpkanistan or ...

DharmaBum50 comments on May 12, 2022:

How about this map (based on a previous presidential election)? That joke aside, it's somewhat of a conundrum for us older, bluer sorts living in a red area, though--do we want to spend a large chunk of what life remains for us relocating? Especially since it isn't as neatly divided as the first ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

I'm in a similar situation. I live in a blue metro area of a very red state. There is a very progressive enclave about two hours away, I am not interested in moving there, as I have no one I know living there. If the shooting of lefties by right wing nuts begins tho, I will probably have to move north to Minneapolis to survive, which would be ok, except for the winters and a higher cost of living.

Their just aren't simple answers to complex questions no matte what you would like to believe

Boomtarat03 comments on May 10, 2022:

The People go to what they think is suitable for them, they don't care if it's right or wrong 🙂☹

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

Esp. here in the Midwest, where conformity is everything, most people go with thinking whatever helps them fit in with others and get along with the herd. Free thinking or striving to follow the truth is put down as divisive or dangerous to the community. Caring about thinking critically and being right is seen as self-indulgent and anti-social.

Joe Manchin joins Republicans opposing bill to codify Roe v.

rainmanjr comments on May 11, 2022:

He's this Congress's Joe Lie-berman and Baucus. That's what Blue Dogs do. They only ran, originally, on the Dem ticket because the Con side was taken. Then they had to keep saying they're a Dem. It would be nice if we had let The South go. Lincoln fucked that up.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

Agreed. If Texas or any of these other red states want to secede, fucking let them..... It would only improve our politics and culture...

Joe Manchin joins Republicans opposing bill to codify Roe v.

SeaGreenEyez comments on May 11, 2022:

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 😡😡 I am SO over the Democrats. Biden and all of his "let's all just get along" bullshit has lead us to this moment. It's time to STOP supporting these Democrats. Every last one of them. Given they're all worthless. #overthemall

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

Agreed. I decided a long time ago the Dem Party, at least at the federal level, is beyond reform or redemption. Time to form a third party that is about justice and economic fairness, and offers a real alternative to the corruption and complicity of the duopoly. From Obama to Biden, this bullshit talk about seeking bipartisan cooperation that is a non-existent fairly tale is really just an excuse to not take real action or fight for anything. It is always a way to blame the Repubs for things the Dem leaders never wanted to do in the first place, usually because it would offend their donor class...

Comedian Steve hofstetter is my answer to George Carlin.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 11, 2022:

He is very funny. I wouldn't say he is a George though; I would be willing to bet that even he would agree.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 11, 2022:

Agreed. Nobody is Carlin's equal when discussing our corrupt leaders and rigged system.. Other comedians seem too prone to going easier on one major party over the other, while Carlin knew that neither one deserved any respect or trust, because they were owned by the same people and serve the same people. He was honest and cynical enough to realize that putting hope into either party was a waste of time.

Escaped Alabama murder suspect Casey White is in custody and his prison guard lover is in hospital |...

Gwendolyn2018 comments on May 9, 2022:

They should have let her die of the self inflicted gun wound. Yes, I am a harsh old woman who does not believe that everyone is "redeemable."

TomMcGiverin replies on May 9, 2022:

@SeaGreenEyez Agreed. You can bet your ass if he had been colored-black or brown, they would have lit up that vehicle like something out of Bonnie And Clyde or The Godfather, where in both movies a car was shot to pieces. The cops would have made sure everyone got the point....

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 9, 2022:

@rainmanjr Agreed. If it comes to that, I will gladly take up a gun and shoot it out in the streets with these pricks. I would rather die that way than sitting at home waiting for them to come get me and either shoot me or put me in a camp.

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@rainmanjr If I had more money, and a partner to leave with, I would do it. But I have family ties, really, and my local friends, who are my whole emotional support system, are not going to leave, so I'm stuck.

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@rainmanjr I'm not very optimistic that our side would win. And I don't think the Dem Party really cares that much about civil rights and liberties. The conflict really boils down to the White Christian fascists against the antifa and anti-theocrats. I think a civil war would likely end with the South and Midwest being one country and the rest of the continental US, with the exception of a few western states, being another country. I have little confidence that the cops and military would be very much allied with our side. I think they would stand by the sidelines at best, or even side against us with the fascists.

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

If the red states begin doing that at their borders, it will be just like The Handmaid's Tale, where border guards on the US side were stopping fleeing Americans and shooting them with automatic weapons if they tried to run from them, and those that didn't would be captured and sent to prison camps.

The Most Joe Biden Thing Ever [caitlinjohnstone.

Piece2YourPuzzle comments on May 5, 2022:

Obama told everyone when he was president that he was going to codify Roe v Wade and then when it came time he said that it wasn't a priority. It's the same old song. Democrats have control and do nothing or next to nothing and they blame Republicans. Republicans should get the blame too, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@Piece2YourPuzzle You got it. The Dems just run their standard excuses every time, expect you to forgive them and vote Blue No Matter Who, because, of course, it's always "the most important election of our lifetime", etc.... Well, this fool quit falling for it a long time ago.. As far as the major parties moving to the right, the Dems are already to the right of Eisenhower(except, of course, on the usual culture war issues, which are mainly used to distract us), so what does that tell you? The Dems don't want to lose abortion as an issue for fundraising among the rubes and riling up their base, because if they did, more people might start looking at how complicit and how much they are like the Repubs on all the issues that matter to the rich and corporations, and we can't have that.....

Debate: porn does more good than harm Pre-debate poll.

domos comments on May 5, 2022:

The debate video is out. https://agnostic.com/share/q664448/domos

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@domos No, but I was just being honest.

Here are two more.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 7, 2022:

Because they would rather have all that than a socialist like Bernie in power. Also don't forget to credit Barry The Liar (Obama) for his role in making sure Bernie never got nominated either time.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

@mcgeo52 That shows how much politics have changed with time. Bernie is a New Deal type socialist, in some ways as lefty as FDR, in other ways not much different than Ike. Except, unlike Ike, Bernie has not opposed the MIC openly, like Ike did on his way out of public life. Maybe because since that time the subject has become even more taboo in DC. Big money, esp. from the MIC, has corrupted both parties so much that no one dare question the military budget or wars of choice without being marginalized from any real power in their party.

The Most Joe Biden Thing Ever [caitlinjohnstone.

Piece2YourPuzzle comments on May 5, 2022:

Obama told everyone when he was president that he was going to codify Roe v Wade and then when it came time he said that it wasn't a priority. It's the same old song. Democrats have control and do nothing or next to nothing and they blame Republicans. Republicans should get the blame too, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

I agree with you in general about almost all of that, but I am not optimistic that the Dems will save us at the last minute from Roe being overturned. The Dems really don't give a damn about having control of DC, just about getting their corporate campaign money, while their leaders and their families keep their perks, their Ivy League educations, their cushy corporate, think tank, or government jobs after they leave office. They are addicted to that, as well as the corporate campaign cash. Only a fool thinks that continuing to vote for either major party in fed elections is every going to fundamentally change anything, not even (these days) some of the culture war issues that both parties keep using to rile their bases and raise money from the rubes besides the more important and much larger cash they get from corporations and the rich.

Stunning irony:

rainmanjr comments on May 7, 2022:

I'll bet the planning for this strategically offensive double punch went into motion the day SCOTUS took this case. I don't like that they're winning, and hope this Roe-back (pun) causes big losses in Nov., but the real world success of goals is impressive. I'll give them that.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

They timed this for now, because they have enough voter suppression laws in place, with enough states, to overcome the increased votes against them by women over backlash on abortion. Enough suppression of votes by colored people will still allow the Repubs to control congress and the WH even with all the lost female votes. The Repubs may be evil, but they are good at calculation. I hope I am wrong too, like you. But the Repubs have had the votes on the SC for some time to overturn Roe, they just wanted make sure they first had what they needed to keep winning fed elections and controlling DC, even if only a small % of women vote for them. They saw what happened to the Dems in the South after civil rights laws were passed in the 60s.

Liberals are not looking to dominate anybody. We just want fair treatment for EVERYBODY.

Matias comments on May 7, 2022:

Depends on how you define "fair treatment" Is it fair that Group A must be disadvantaged today in order to make up for an injustice committed against Group B in the past? The answer depends on whether you focus on individuals or on groups.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

Being a socialist, my focus is on groups and the greater good, rather than individuals. Your mileage may vary, of course...

One thing for sure: RBG would not be deterred.

racocn8 comments on May 6, 2022:

Not if they won't vote.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I think they will, but the Repubs will suppress enough votes from colored people with the new voting law restrictions, that the increased Dem votes from women will be outweighed by the lost votes from colored folks. That is why the Repubs waited until now to overturn Roe, because they know they will still be able to win elections without the votes of all those women that might turn out. The timing is very calculated, in my opinion, since the SC has had the votes for a couple decades to overturn Roe, but they didn't because they feared the backlash could cost them fed elections for decades, like civil rights laws cost the Dems the South permanently.

Have the scientists been eating the ergot? [discovery.com]

itsmeagain comments on May 6, 2022:

I think kittens might be more appealing . . . .

TomMcGiverin replies on May 6, 2022:

Depends on your motives. If you want to scare them, send photos of the violent right wing theocrats, if you want to be friendly to them and make them feel positively about our planet and humans, send ones of kittens.

Debate: porn does more good than harm Pre-debate poll.

domos comments on May 5, 2022:

The debate video is out. https://agnostic.com/share/q664448/domos

TomMcGiverin replies on May 6, 2022:

Sorry, but I won't watch a video that is over an hour long. It's not that I don't have the time, but I'm just not interested enough to put in that long an effort.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

Julie808 comments on May 5, 2022:

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend, except he ended up "banging" women a good 10-15 years older than him most of his adult life, since the only thing he had going for him was to be a "boy toy" for them. He has it in for women for many reasons. Lots of problems he's never worked out with a therapist, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@Julie808 You bring up a lot of harsh truths about reality and relationships that most people are too weak or timid to face, much less admit, about themselves or how the world works when it comes to relationships. It was refreshing to read, esp. the parts about people needing therapy. It has been very obvious to me with online dating that the vast majority of women on dating sites, esp. the divorced ones, have never gotten the therapy they need before trying to date. I have no doubt the situation is the same with men on the other side of online dating, but I have no experience with them, so I won't claim to know what's happening with them. If I had my way, nobody would be able to join a dating site as a member without proof of recent therapy, but that is impractical and never going to happen. I see a lot of denial in general among Americans about their need for therapy, and no doubt it contributes to why our society is so sick and why so many people treat others badly on a regular basis, whether they be strangers or people they actually are involved with. As you say, some of us are damaged, (and I would venture that most of us are damaged). I would say that most of our society is made up damaged, angry, hostile people, whether they are aware of this about themselves or not, and no wonder they behave as they do when they never get help. It's obvious that churches telling people to be nice to others is not enough by itself. I say therapy is better....

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

BufftonBeotch comments on May 4, 2022:

I certainly have come to love the single life. Many men seem to expect a full time cook, maid, bookkeeper, laundress, entertainment coordinator etc, etc, etc when in a relationship. Go stack sand. Grain upon grain. I will not do that again.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

I see that the sisterhood of bitter, male-bashing women that I have long ago blocked or been blocked by, Anne Wimsey, Deb57, Cast1es, and Lorajay, all rallied to your side and supported you. What a surprise..... not.. Just proves me and Sticks right, that male-bashing remains popular on these boards and is unquestioned by more than a few of the women..

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@mischl Sounds ideal. I'm happy for you.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

Julie808 comments on May 5, 2022:

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend, except he ended up "banging" women a good 10-15 years older than him most of his adult life, since the only thing he had going for him was to be a "boy toy" for them. He has it in for women for many reasons. Lots of problems he's never worked out with a therapist, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@Garban Your points square with my experience and what I have personally heard from others. Some people are cut out for real relationships and some aren't. What matters is figuring out what suits you and going with that, in an honest way. Fortunately for me, I am good with compromise and fine with doing it.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

Julie808 comments on May 5, 2022:

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend, except he ended up "banging" women a good 10-15 years older than him most of his adult life, since the only thing he had going for him was to be a "boy toy" for them. He has it in for women for many reasons. Lots of problems he's never worked out with a therapist, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@darren316 I'm not sure everyone prefers that, but you and Julie are right, people should be honorable and honest about who they are and what they want from others. Using people and being dishonest is not right, but at least for a while, if you're good looking enough, you can get away with it a lot of the time...

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

BufftonBeotch comments on May 4, 2022:

I certainly have come to love the single life. Many men seem to expect a full time cook, maid, bookkeeper, laundress, entertainment coordinator etc, etc, etc when in a relationship. Go stack sand. Grain upon grain. I will not do that again.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@Sticks48 Same here. I didn't cook on my own when I lived with my wife, sometimes cooked with her help and supervision, but I was always glad to do the dishes afterwards as well as clean around the house. Have always done my own laundry. Did all the outside work around the house. Haven't cooked since then. I have never expected a woman to cook for me. She and I lived together for two years before getting married, because we both wanted to be sure what we were getting into and that it would work out good for both of us, because she had already been divorced twice and I had never even lived with a woman before.

"I want a world where the democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for!" Lt.

Scott321 comments on May 4, 2022:

That cartoon pretty much sums it up for me. We’re doomed.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

We're certainly doomed as long as we depend on the two major parties to save us or help us. And even with most of us suddenly voting in a third party, the odds of success without violent revolution are long, as the ruling class will not give up power peacefully, and there is no certainty the majority of Americans supporting a revolution would still even win against the rich, well-armed minority.. I am not optimistic that we would not have to also fight the vast majority of the cops and military as well.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

itsmeagain comments on May 4, 2022:

So why does he ask her to marry him?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

Good point, since the rest of the story suggests that he never actually wanted any sort of committed relationship or marriage in the first place.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

BufftonBeotch comments on May 4, 2022:

I certainly have come to love the single life. Many men seem to expect a full time cook, maid, bookkeeper, laundress, entertainment coordinator etc, etc, etc when in a relationship. Go stack sand. Grain upon grain. I will not do that again.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

Not me, but I agree with you that many men want that kind of unequal, outdated kind of relationship. I always wanted an equal partnership, including splitting the bills and expenses we shared, household chores, and equal decision-making. But I guess I married a rare gem in my area, because nowadays it seems like being pro-feminist and wanting an equal partner seems too sissy or feminine to the women in my dating pool. Being that different from mainstream men in my area appears to seem suspicious to them, even if they might agree with your viewpoint, BB...

"I want a world where the democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for!" Lt.

WilliamCharles comments on May 4, 2022:

Pretty much.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

Ding, ding, ding! You got it! They are completely corrupt and complicit with the Repubs, because they are owned and funded by pretty much the same people and corporations. That's why it's all Kabuki theater and also like pro-wrestling. Every battle is planned, staged, and choreographed in advance. And afterwards, when the media and the rubes are out of earshot, like the pro wrestlers, the pols party behind closed doors and share a laugh and some drinks about how they fooled the rube voters and peasants... But if you try telling this to most Dem voters, they will see you as crazy, as if you were telling a very young child there is no Santa or Easter Bunny, because they can't stand to think differently. Realizing for the first time or considering the idea that the Dems don't actually care about peasants like them or have any intention of fighting for them is too existentially frightening and devastating to them, kind of like initially recognizing there is no God or that their parents cannot protect them from everything, all of those are things everyone wants to initially deny, because it's too frightening or painful. So it's easier to just get mad at the messenger or label them as crazy, etc....... Much harder to accept the reality that in the status quo we are almost all powerless, helpless peasants ruled by oligarchs who will never really be free until we revolt in massive numbers, either in the streets or by voting out both major parties, and that, either way, there will likely have to be a great amount of death and violence for us to overthrow the oligarchs. Most people are too timid to even consider those truths....

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

@mischl I actually think most men like the company, tho some may not want to admit it, because it's probably not fashionable or it comes off as needy, etc. But after living alone the last several years, I am, to be honest, sort of afraid of trying to live with a woman again, probably about adjusting to less privacy or having too many annoying habits, etc. Right now I would feel more comfortable just dating and continuing to live apart, with lots of visiting and staying overnight. Seems less risky and I have no financial need to live with anybody, since I'm very financially comfortable.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

@mischl Same here. My years living with my late wife were by far the happiest ones of my life, even more than the first several years of young adulthood working and living alone in apartments. Those first few years of freedom and carefree living as a single young man were fun and enjoyable, but still never nearly as happy and fulfilling as living with my life partner. I know that sounds corny, but it's true, so I really feel bummed about my last several years being alone and starting to feel hopeless about online dating. I tortured myself today by looking up how many women I had messaged in the last two months-48- and only two ever messaged me back, neither of them ended up meeting me in person. I got profile views from almost all of them. and I have had several people proof my profile, so it's not that. I guess I just don't stack up against the competition or fit the local dating pool's standards. The local dating pool on Match appears to have dried up, at least for me, lately....

Hearing Sunday night about the draft from the SCOTUS has left me with the same gut clenching concern...

glennlab comments on May 4, 2022:

It is hard to get people out to the polls, but everyone needs to drag another like minded person to the polls this November and again in 2024.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

@Garban, @Retiredsteve Same as you two, I live in a deeply red, one-party state, for all practical purposes, so my vote matters very little beyond the county election level. But I keep voting anyway, so I can honor my conscience and do the moral thing, even if it makes no difference in statewide elections, and it usually doesn't matter in elections for my congressional district.