Curiosity

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 24, 2021:

Because they figure the man is already attractive to someone, has curb appeal, in other words. And they know he will likely never want a commitment from them. Then there are the women who actually want a permanent relationship with married men and suffer the illusion they will leave their wives. All...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 24, 2021:

@Onetank78 You're probably right, judgmental types like me are the last ones they'd tell, plus, I know very few single women these days, except from dating sites, so they aren't really personal friends who would confide in me anyway.

Hi Sorry to bother you all But here I go.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 19, 2021:

Like usual, all I can say is rotsa ruck....

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@RiturajRao87 It is an offhand way of saying " Lots of luck" or good luck with that....

The Red Pill Movement is a movement in the same way a bowel movement is a movement.

KateOahu comments on Dec 17, 2021:

Gaslighting by any other name still stinks. “Mens’ Rights”? More like whiney little boys who are afraid they can’t be first in line anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@Toonman Call me whatever you like, as if I care. I see no false equivalency in simply pointing out that in the dating game, which is actually very competitive, whether people choose to recognize that or not, having the qualities that are generally being sought by the other sex is crucial to being chosen by the other sex and succeeding in finding a partner. Women and men are much the same in how they approach the dating and mating game, in general. The only differences I see is that men are focused mainly on looks in choosing a partner, while women are mainly focused on looks and money/status. The other difference is that women, in general, are more open than men are to choosing a partner that is not conventionally good looking. I'm done with you and if you choose to continue criticizing me, I will block you. I never said that women are the same as men in the ways you are saying, as far as alienation, sense of entitlement, lack of understanding of themselves, blaming others instead of themselves, altho I will tell you, I have met plenty of divorced women from Match who seem to blame everyone but themselves, as in the men they chose, for their relationships failing. I also never denied that women as a group or class have been oppressed. You assume an awful lot about me that I never said here on this thread. Maybe you are the asshole, not me, in doing so.

The Red Pill Movement is a movement in the same way a bowel movement is a movement.

KateOahu comments on Dec 17, 2021:

Gaslighting by any other name still stinks. “Mens’ Rights”? More like whiney little boys who are afraid they can’t be first in line anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@Toonman How am I making a false equivalency or being an asshole with my comment?

Hi Sorry to bother you all But here I go.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 19, 2021:

Like usual, all I can say is rotsa ruck....

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@RiturajRao87 I am not joking and there is nothing racist about my comment. Get over your paranoia and snowflakeness.

The Red Pill Movement is a movement in the same way a bowel movement is a movement.

KateOahu comments on Dec 17, 2021:

Gaslighting by any other name still stinks. “Mens’ Rights”? More like whiney little boys who are afraid they can’t be first in line anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 22, 2021:

@Toonman I have chatted with a lot of men and women about the dating and mating games, and heard from both genders that they often feel they get passed up in the games because they are too much of a "nice guy/nice gal", when the reality seems to be that both genders are still very much hung up or focused on looks and money/status, etc. as far as women's focus, and on looks regarding men's focus. And thus it has always been, probably based on primitive instincts and motivations. Incels have not added anything new to change those mindsets with either of the genders, so, as racocn8 noted above, problems between the sexes will always exist. The cold, hard reality for either gender that keeps getting passed up in the competition of the games, is that they are lacking in the things the other gender is looking for in a dating or life partner, and until they improve their competitive status in those areas, they will continue to get passed over. Such is life.

True then and now

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 21, 2021:

That's why they call it wage slavery. The modern version is much like old time slavery, except that it's more a form of neo-feudalism, and the slaves are free to leave, and thus be homeless and starving. They are not formal property of anyone, but if they do not participate in the wage slavery, they...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 21, 2021:

@mischl Thanks.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 18, 2021:

@mischl You're a man after my own heart! I have always been reflexively honest my whole adult life and I have never felt a need to apologize for it. While it has kept me from ever being popular, I've never cared, because I have always been able to make and keep a solid group of several loyal friends, so I don't need popularity or even being liked by most people. But it does cost me in the dating game, and that gets frustrating.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 18, 2021:

@HippieChick58 Well, unfortunately for me, the women in my local dating pool on Match think the opposite way. To them, only family men with kids need apply for dating them. And there's really nothing I can do about it. My therapist says I should hide my being childless until the woman asks or brings it up, like I said in another comment, that I should just leave that trait unanswered in my dating profile. What do you think of that, Paula?

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 18, 2021:

@HippieChick58 But, believe it or not, Paula, I also get rejected on this even by some women who DON'T have kids. My theory is that they are hedging their bets against old age, hoping to meet a guy whose kids will comfort and look after her when she gets old if she survives him. Think that might be it, Paula?

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@HippieChick58 And when you think of it in cold, hard, financial terms, a woman ought to be tickled to date a man like me who has no kids and is financially secure and comfortable. I am hardly material for golddiggers, but currently all of my estate goes to four of my friends if I die. And if a woman develops a good partnership with me, I will gladly put her in my will as my chief heir, even if I don't get married. Could greatly improve the financial condition of many women in that case, if they survived me. And also, if the partnership lasted, say a decade or more, I might even include her kids as secondary heirs if she died before me and then me sometime after her. So, when you add it all up, there is some good incentive, at least financially, for a woman with kids and even for her kids later on possibly, to be dating a man who is not set up to leave all his money to his kids if he dies first. But, I doubt many women with kids who reject me ever think any of this shit thru thoroughly at all.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@HippieChick58 I agree with you on that Paula, but in my case, I think the reasons women in my dating pool here, even those without kids, reject me on that issue either because it is so uncommon or non-conformist that they think I must be a real oddball to not have kids, or it could be pure self protection and defensiveness that they assume I hate kids, want to isolate them from their family and kids, or lack the empathy to understand how important their kids and grandkids are to them. All of these things are signs of the women lacking good empathy and emotional health and never having had any much needed therapy after their divorce. So I pay the price for their dysfunction, lack of awareness and close-mindedness. Yes, I am dodging many bullets, but I still get sick of all the rejection and lack of good prospects.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@azzow2 Well, we weren't really friends, just two guys on Agnostic that connected and messaged. I think he was hoping I would join him at a bar and maybe be a wingman for him with single women, at least I sort of picked up that vibe, and maybe he changed his mind after thinking I wasn't suitable for the role.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@BufftonBeotch Lori- I checked your profile and your looks are fine, I would want to meet you if we lived close by each other. But you have a point, looks are the wild card that is usually a factor in online dating rejection, but it's the one trait that nobody is ever willing to talk about or admit it when they reject someone on that basis. Even I, the king of bluntness and honesty, won't tell a woman that is the reason, unless she asks me, then I will be truthful. And even then, most women get mad at me for being honest or rejecting them on that trait. So, you can't win either way, and keeping that reason to yourself is usually best. We all reject people on that issue and nobody I know is proud of it.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@azzow2 If you lived closer to me, I would definitely take you up on it. There was a black guy who lived two hours away, in a city where I would visit my dad every month while he was still alive, that would message with me on here and suggest we meet when I was in his town, but when I finally took him up on it and let him know when I would be in town, he ghosted me for good...

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@azzow2 It's all about location, culture, and what values the opposite sex has been indoctrinated with regarding kids and family. I live in the Midwest, and here, the old farmer mentality is alive and well in the women who grew up here and dominate the local dating pool for me. To them, family and kids are everything, even tho that is so outdated, with very few people still living on farms and even those on farms no longer need big families to do the farm work because of machinery that replaced labor on farms.

About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Are Now Religiously Unaffiliated | Pew Research Center

Druvius comments on Dec 16, 2021:

So these are the people who will end up in reChristification camps when Trump and the GOP seize power? ;)

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 16, 2021:

I'll die before I would let them send me to one of those. It would be like going to hell without dying first.

About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Are Now Religiously Unaffiliated | Pew Research Center

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 15, 2021:

It doesn't give breakdowns by age groups, but I assume that religiosity goes down lower with each younger age group.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 16, 2021:

@oc_jen Thanks Jen, that link worked. The article appears to support my guess that religiosity does seem to be lower with lower age, but it also supports another idea of mine that it does not necessarily mean that overall religiosity is getting lower around the world, since the article points out that the areas of the world with greater overall religiosity have higher birthrates and younger populations. In other words, the more religious parts of the world have younger populations, who breed in greater numbers and frequency than less religious parts of the world. So overall, we are not going to see a worldwide decline in religiosity anytime soon with this disparity in population age and breeding between religious countries and secular countries.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Canndue comments on Dec 15, 2021:

While I’m compassionate enough to forgive mistakes, judges must be held to a much higher standard than others, after all there job is sentence others for their mistakes

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

My late father was a judge for almost all of his legal career and he was keenly aware of this need to be above reproach in his personal life, because of his position.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

JonnaBononna comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Also, as a resident of Louisiana, I have to say, "Of course, Louisiana...." 🤦‍♀️ Not too many years ago we had a justice of the peace who refused to marry an interracial couple, and when called out for his racism, said he couldn't possibly be racist because he not only has black friends, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@JonnaBononna Yup, having some exceptions doesn't prove a thing. Who you ally with politically and financially does.

About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Are Now Religiously Unaffiliated | Pew Research Center

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 15, 2021:

It doesn't give breakdowns by age groups, but I assume that religiosity goes down lower with each younger age group.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@oc_jen The first and third links did not work. Could you simply share a quick summary of what the surveys found regarding differences in religious affiliation by age group?

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

JonnaBononna comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Also, as a resident of Louisiana, I have to say, "Of course, Louisiana...." 🤦‍♀️ Not too many years ago we had a justice of the peace who refused to marry an interracial couple, and when called out for his racism, said he couldn't possibly be racist because he not only has black friends, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

Well doesn't all of that generosity and tolerance qualify him as a great humanitarian and lover of all black folks? Snark! Lots of racists are willing to make some "exceptions", for minority members they feel are "better behaved" or more "acceptable" in their appearance, social or economic standing, etc. Doesn't change the white person from being racist or a general asshole...

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Beachslim7 comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Where's your outrage when al Sharpton calls you a cracker?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@Beachslim7 You are an asshole and I am blocking you. Just writing it here for the rest of the group to see.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Beachslim7 comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Where's your outrage when al Sharpton calls you a cracker?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@JonnaBononna They "don't get it" either because they don't want to get it, or they are oblivious to their white privilege.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Beachslim7 comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Where's your outrage when al Sharpton calls you a cracker?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@JonnaBononna Exactly, when someone with no power to harm another behaves in a racist manner, it amounts to simple prejudice. When someone with power and privilege, due to their race and position of power does the same thing, it carries weight and can cause real harm to someone who is a minority group.

I had taken my kids to the convenience store today after school.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 14, 2021:

In a word, NO. The reason is that I have issues with authority and have had my whole life, while they are all about embracing and being authority, so there is a big values mismatch. They also tend to be politically conservative, again, the opposite of me, and also frequently racist as well. Same ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

@azzow2 Suit yourself. I just know what works for me and what doesn't, as far as compatibility.

I had taken my kids to the convenience store today after school.

GoodMan comments on Dec 14, 2021:

“Absofreakinglutely” as long as she looks at least half as good as her, and isn’t stupid in the head.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

Even great looks are not enough for me if the woman's personality or values suck. I am not into casual sex, but suit yourself, everybody's different.

Personal restraint is valuable in the age of ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 13, 2021:

I do believe she is engaging in the human female equivalent of some kind of exotic bird displaying their plummage and sticking out their genitals in order to attract a mate, or something of that order. Personally, I am more of a breast man than an ass man, but I can see where the guy in the suit ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

@whiskywoman Well, the jury has spoken. I am agreeing with you and Bob that she is knowingly being provocative.

Personal restraint is valuable in the age of ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 13, 2021:

I do believe she is engaging in the human female equivalent of some kind of exotic bird displaying their plummage and sticking out their genitals in order to attract a mate, or something of that order. Personally, I am more of a breast man than an ass man, but I can see where the guy in the suit ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

@bobwjr Now, I agree with you there, but you run the risk of being labeled a misogynist, in today's political climate, if you suggest that she might be anything but an innocent victim if the man behind her grabbed her ass, for example, or said something lewd to her.

Here’s Why Secular Morality Is Better for the Country | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

QuidamOutrepont comments on Dec 13, 2021:

That's what we're trying to do in Quebec. But because of that, the rest of Canada is calling us racists and fascists.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 13, 2021:

@QuidamOutrepont So, as I am an ignorant, but curious, American, please explain to me what is going on in Quebec these days that is getting them so much heat from other quarters in Canada?

I went to see these two Exotic Shorthairs (ESHs) that somehow ended up in a shelter.

dalefvictor comments on Dec 13, 2021:

Cats can be full of love and kindness. I think they give far more than they ask. Age is one thing, many do not want to adopt them as they will pass soon. We get them and love them as they may not be able to love us for as long as a younger cat, but it does make a great difference for them.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 13, 2021:

As a widowed, partnerless human who now is far past middle age, I can relate to and sympathize for the poor older cats. We all need and want someone to love us for the rest of our time on this rock, even if we are likely to die before them.

Here’s Why Secular Morality Is Better for the Country | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

QuidamOutrepont comments on Dec 13, 2021:

That's what we're trying to do in Quebec. But because of that, the rest of Canada is calling us racists and fascists.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 13, 2021:

Are you saying that Quebec is trying to temper or lessen the influence of the Catholic church there, and that that is causing the rest of the country to see them as fascist and racist? I say this because I have always heard that the province is heavily made up of French Canadian Catholics.

Marching for stupid.

UrsiMajor comments on Dec 11, 2021:

I have a libertarian antivax friend who racked up a 250k covid bill from being ventilated in a hospital over a month. Tricare will foot the bill. She and her husband have learned nothing. They will not get vaxed or mask up.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 12, 2021:

Let them pay and let them die, respectively, as they are costing other lives and bleeding our health system dry of resources. Other people are more deserving of money and resources in the health system. Health care is a public good and recognized as such in other more civilized, fair countries in the world. In the US, it is purposefully expensive and limited, so the greedy can profit as much as possible. Funny how your hypocritical Libertarian friend is totally against government provided health care and other social programs, as well as taxes, but is perfectly fine with letting Tricare foot her bill. Too bad she doesn't live in Singapore, then she would get what she deserves.

A majority of Americans are critical of religious exemptions to Covid vaccines, a survey finds.

RussRAB comments on Dec 10, 2021:

These religious resisters will claim a religious exemption and look to the courts to protect them. They will do exactly what they rail against other religious minorities doing when they have tried to impose their religious traditions on these other minority groups of people. Democracy is ok only if ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 11, 2021:

True, they are shameless fucking hypocrites...

I had a wall around my heart for a very long time.

glennlab comments on Dec 9, 2021:

You can't swim unless you are will to get in the water. You may not drown on dry land, but you'll never know the joy of splashing around.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

@bookofmorons Good for you, but those kind of informal opportunities don't happen and aren't going to happen for me with women who have dropped out of the dating scene. I don't have a pet, or grandkids, or any of the other props that allow people like you and her to informally meet. And I am not going to waste my time informally staking out interest groups, like Julie from Hawaii here on Agnostic does, or hang around the Unitarian church every Sunday hoping in vain to meet women there either that will not join dating sites. It's either dating sites or nothing, it will either work for me or it won't. As far as I'm concerned, women like Julie or others, like your lady friend, who are too insecure to handle dating sites and formal dating avenues, are too insecure and weak for me, and not a compatible match. My late wife was strong and independent, and I want that again, not someone who has to be coddled to get her comfortable enough to get to know me and go out with me. Online dating is certainly not for the faint of heart, but my hunch is that most women who need to be coddled to meet them informally and get to know them that way, are probably not emotionally strong and tough enough to handle the ups and downs of an LTR, esp. as both people cope with aging and decline.

I had a wall around my heart for a very long time.

glennlab comments on Dec 9, 2021:

You can't swim unless you are will to get in the water. You may not drown on dry land, but you'll never know the joy of splashing around.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

True. There are so many singles, both in and out of the dating game, that are still very guarded and afraid of opening up emotionally to anyone and trying to love again. Some so much they will not even try to date again, and others that continue to sign up for dating sites, but then put up so many walls against other people that they either drive them away or reject everyone who might be compatible and good for them, due to their unconcious desire to protect themselves and avoid connection with possible hurt or disappointment with others. These people are easy to spot, at least for me, in the dating game, but so many people are clueless about themselves and others as to what is going on emotionally with other singles in the dating game. And, as a widowed man, what's really frustrating is that there are many more women than men that have chosen to drop out of the dating game, and go it alone the rest of their lives. Unfortunately for me, those women often tend to be the most emotionally healthy ones, who are offbeat, educated, independent, and strong, the same qualities as my late wife. But I will never have a chance to date them, since they have self-selected to sit it out, not that I blame them, with how mismatched they are from the mostly dysfunctional mainstream men that make up the vast majority of the dating pool in my area. So my best prospects for compatibility are not even in the game and I am forced, like them, to either go it alone till I die, or take my chances with the mostly dysfunctional, emotionally closed mainstream women who make up most of my dating pool and are not very compatible for me. It is maddening and I often dream in my sleep about being able to find another compatible life partner and permanently retire from the dating game.

Kitty caroling

OldGoat43 comments on Dec 9, 2021:

That tree looks like it's on fire.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

The cat probably started it..

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

Druvius comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I fled Iowa just in time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

@Druvius Yup, its says Oregon now, so it worked. If I had the money and was willing to move, you are probably living where I would want to be.

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

racocn8 comments on Dec 9, 2021:

Truly, the country of the blind. Religious kooks: inmates running the asylum. Can we just drop a bomb on them so we don't have the shame of being the same species? Yikes! That's what happens when the psychopathy that generates shamelessness run amok and you have a whole population of immoral ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

Unfortunately, that bomb would also kill me and other decent people on the left. There are a lot of us here in Iowa, but unfortunately, we are still outnumbered, and will be for a while longer, until more of the mostly older rural voters die off or move away from Iowa. Until then, they hold just enough of a numerical advantage that they hold control of the legislature and any statewide elected offices. They have about a 5% advantage that holds up every time, no matter how high the Dems run up the score in the urban areas.

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

Druvius comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I fled Iowa just in time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@Druvius Then you might want to change your location from Clear Lake, IA, but, suit yourself...

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

Druvius comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I fled Iowa just in time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 8, 2021:

I hear you. The only reasons I don't move to Minneapolis is I hate the idea of even colder winters, and the fact that all of my longtime friends, and thus my whole support system, live here around Des Moines. Otherwise, I too would have fled to a blue state that was also more diverse. BTW, your profile still says you live in Clear Lake, up near the border. Did you forget to edit it?

How to atheists return to religion? I don't understand

Julie808 comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I think atheists sometimes join a church, not out of belief in the scripture but out of need to feel a belonging, part of a group and loved unconditionally by others. My ex-husband was atheist when I met him, his family all very religious, but he was not. We raised our kids atheist, and they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 8, 2021:

I agree with you about people joining churches, despite a lack of belief, just to have community, somewhere to belong, and to be loved unconditionally by others. How else do you explain Unitarian churches, where there is no theistic belief, at least among the vast majority of its members? They join for the reasons above, as well as intellectual stimulation and somewhere to get some form of religious education for their kids. Another reason people who don't believe in religion join churches is the extreme social pressure, esp. in the South and Midwest, to join one or else face suspicion and ostracizism for being abberrant, odd or whatever....

Republican Triggered By Uppity Blacks In TV Commercial.

BufftonBeotch comments on Dec 6, 2021:

But they also hated, with the blazing fury of a thousand suns, the Cheerios commercial with the mixed race family. So....? I don't give a shit if they hate things. Do you?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 6, 2021:

Butthurt,, racist snowflakes....

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

Sorcha comments on Dec 5, 2021:

I have sometimes wondered if having my non belief in my dating profile is an issue. But then I realized it is a good filter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

It's a good filter, at least if you live a fairly diverse dating pool. Otherwise, if you don't, it leaves you with pretty slim prospects and a lot of discouragement.

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

GrooshStar comments on Dec 5, 2021:

I've never dated a women who didn't believe in some kind of religion. That's the original reason I joined this site. I googled where to meet an atheist and got here. Still haven't met one in my area. Probably the reason I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I personally don't care what they believe...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

@rainmanjr Sticks, is that true, lol?

These photos reminded me of how fun camping can be. [articles.history101.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Never been into camping. It seems to be very popular among lower class people where I live. I can practically guess, from looking at the educational level of the woman's profile on Match, whether they will be into fishing and camping. If their level is high school, they will always be into that, if ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

@LenHazell53 Piss off, Len, before I block you.

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

DenoPenno comments on Dec 4, 2021:

I don't have a low bank balance but I would have to become a liar in order to date most women. To do this in my area a quick way would be to go to church, be friendly and tell the truth. Talk to women and you can bet a church gal will start thinking she can reform you. If she finds out later this ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

@rainmanjr I can only guess as to whether women are at those groups out of pure motives and genuine interest in religion or sobriety, respectively, since I have not been privy to their inner thoughts about the opposite sex and dating. My gender and my work experiences have not given me access to their private motives about those groups the way I have by working with men. So I may be wrong about women being more honorable about attending those groups than some men, but I doubt I am wrong about this. Maybe some women here on Agnostic, who have had access to the motives of other women, will weigh in on this?

I never would have guessed so many gentlemen didn' t want kids .

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

At least you live in NY, where way more women think like us than do in the Midwest. Here the farmer's daughter mindset is so prevalent that it's hard to find a woman at any age that wants a man who is childfree or not into kids. I got used to it when I was dating as a young man, but am astounded how...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

@duchessa1 Well, good for you and glad it worked. But I know my limits and it wouldn't work for me.

I never would have guessed so many gentlemen didn' t want kids .

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

At least you live in NY, where way more women think like us than do in the Midwest. Here the farmer's daughter mindset is so prevalent that it's hard to find a woman at any age that wants a man who is childfree or not into kids. I got used to it when I was dating as a young man, but am astounded how...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

@duchessa1 I don't move because my local friends are my whole support system and I really need them emotionally. Moving somewhere just to have a better dating pool is easier said than done, if you would be leaving behind your whole support system and gambling upon being able to make a bunch of new friends soon after you move.. I am not willing to take that kind of risk with my emotional and mental health.

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

DenoPenno comments on Dec 4, 2021:

I don't have a low bank balance but I would have to become a liar in order to date most women. To do this in my area a quick way would be to go to church, be friendly and tell the truth. Talk to women and you can bet a church gal will start thinking she can reform you. If she finds out later this ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

I'm glad that you value being ethical and honest. I have known plenty of men thru jobs I worked that would do anything to get laid, including going to churches to troll for women and pretending to be Holy Joe in order to do it, or even to troll AA meetings and pretend to be an alcoholic. Most people have no idea what kind of male scum we are competing with in the dating game. But I suppose that accounts for some of why so many single women in the dating game are so cynical and suspicious of all men in general, since many of them have been burned by assholes like this.

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

bobwjr comments on Dec 5, 2021:

You don't want one of those evangelical cunts, your life would be miserable, stick with women like we have here

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

If only we could, Bob. The problem is for those of us like me, who live in pretty religious areas. We end up with relatively few women in our dating pools that are non-believers, or open-minded enough to accept a non-believer for dating. And then there's the women on Agnostic, who usually live far away and even then are not willing to date LD or relocate to an area like mine, and for good reason, if they already live somewhere more progressive and diverse. Or somewhere with better weather as well.

Like many of you, I was an Incel after a brief encounter I feel reinvigorated I find myself flirting...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Was she attractive looking? Otherwise, it doesn't really count, as far as "having game", as the kids say......

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 5, 2021:

@azzow2 True, but the problem is that many women can't tell the difference, or maybe don't even care, between a nice or good man who is confident in talking to them, and a player who is lying to them.

Like many of you, I was an Incel after a brief encounter I feel reinvigorated I find myself flirting...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Was she attractive looking? Otherwise, it doesn't really count, as far as "having game", as the kids say......

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@azzow2 NO shit, I too remember how much easier it was to talk to attractive women back then, not only because I was then drinking actual alcohol (instead of NA beers like now), but I also had a full head of hair and a much younger, athletic body then. Had way more confidence, even if it was still less than most men with women, because of it.

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

Aaron70 comments on Dec 4, 2021:

And here all this time I thought it was because I was an asshole....🤨

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

I can be an asshole at certain times and with certain people, as I have a low tolerance for bullshit and those who play games. But, like Fox Mulder in The X-Files, had with his partner Scully, I had my own "human credential" with my late wife, proving that I was indeed not only human, but a good person....

Like many of you, I was an Incel after a brief encounter I feel reinvigorated I find myself flirting...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Was she attractive looking? Otherwise, it doesn't really count, as far as "having game", as the kids say......

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@azzow2 Well, there you go. As the kids say, having game is all about being able to bring it when the woman is attractive and there is some pressure from having something worthwhile on the line, versus mere practicing when the woman is someone you would never sleep with or go out with anyway. Even at my age and experience, tempered with frequent long dry spells of not being in practice, more often than not I get tongue-tied around attractive women I happen to run across in chance public meetings. So, in short, I have little "game", as they say.

So, I got this excerpt .

DenoPenno comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Where are your facts? If we think babies and children are being killed now because a vaccine is forced upon them and somehow all for the benefit of the elderly, where did this come from. Your bible mentions Pharaoh and later Herod as slaughtering babies but these stories are myth. We have found no ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@DenoPenno Ah, but that would be asking too much of them....

So, I got this excerpt .

DenoPenno comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Where are your facts? If we think babies and children are being killed now because a vaccine is forced upon them and somehow all for the benefit of the elderly, where did this come from. Your bible mentions Pharaoh and later Herod as slaughtering babies but these stories are myth. We have found no ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@Normanbites Most Americans have no idea of the differences between socialism and communism and the corporate media take every opportunity to blur the two as well, so that doesn't help.

These photos reminded me of how fun camping can be. [articles.history101.com]

Sticks48 comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Not a fan of camping. I have a great love of indoor plumbing.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

Me too. I also enjoy not being around bugs all the time or being too hot or cold. Call me a snob or a wimp, like I care......

These photos reminded me of how fun camping can be. [articles.history101.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Never been into camping. It seems to be very popular among lower class people where I live. I can practically guess, from looking at the educational level of the woman's profile on Match, whether they will be into fishing and camping. If their level is high school, they will always be into that, if ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@LenHazell53 Call me whatever you like, Len, I am just reporting the facts.

These photos reminded me of how fun camping can be. [articles.history101.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Never been into camping. It seems to be very popular among lower class people where I live. I can practically guess, from looking at the educational level of the woman's profile on Match, whether they will be into fishing and camping. If their level is high school, they will always be into that, if ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@azzow2 There are always exceptions to every rule, but I am just reporting truthfully what I see in my local dating pool on Match. The fact is that people with low education levels, and low income levels, for that matter, tend to be into camping and fishing, because they are lower cost recreational activities that they can afford, versus activities like travel and biking, which tend to be done by people with more money, etc.

What I find so strange is that in a native culture the greedy people would be chastised and vilified...

RussRAB comments on Dec 3, 2021:

I recall seeing a program on the Hutterites which is a division of the Anabaptists which include the Mennonites and the Amish. The Hutterites were decided into communities of about 300 members. This number seemed to be a key cutoff where under this number, members of the community could be kept in ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 3, 2021:

I think all of that analysis makes perfect sense. Knowing the Trumps and other villains of the world up close, esp. if one is screwed over by them, makes for a whole different impression of them than thru the corporate media or a person's particular subculture echo chamber. I know my brother learned a whole less admiring impression of rich elite kids and their families after he spent a year at an Ivy League college and saw what pricks and future adult powerful and rich assholes most of these people were.

What I find so strange is that in a native culture the greedy people would be chastised and vilified...

LenHazell53 comments on Dec 3, 2021:

Capitalists call it communism Republicans call it socialism Imperialists call it savagery The religious call it paradise but claim you cannot have it until after you are dead So called "uncivilized" peoples call it being human.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 3, 2021:

They try to scare you and make you fear what is actually good for you and bad for them.

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

snytiger6 comments on Dec 2, 2021:

I think most self described feminists are for human rights and equality.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr Sounds like you favor a very fuzzy, generic type of reform effort, and it also, to me, smacks of a Libertarian slant on being against regulation of centers of power, such as business or government intrusion into civil liberties. I find your viewpoint suspicious, like you are saying you are for equality for all, but you don't want any of the advocacy groups that history has proved are necessary in order to get reform or equal rights. Reminds me of business groups that Astro-Turf or Greenwash in their PR campaigns.

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

snytiger6 comments on Dec 2, 2021:

I think most self described feminists are for human rights and equality.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr Considering how in 50 years, misogynistic Christian males have been able to take away abortion rights from women, I wouldn't be too worried about losing my or your privilege as a white male. If anything, women are still way behind men in their individual rights.

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

snytiger6 comments on Dec 2, 2021:

I think most self described feminists are for human rights and equality.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr What are you so afraid of, man?

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@nicestuff Fuck your settling for incremental progress. Yes, women couldn't vote a century ago, and now, in fifty years, they have gone from getting abortion rights to now having them taken away. They got the vote, then got control of their bodies, and now have lost it. Meanwhile, men still have full control of their bodies, including not having to wear masks or get vaxed for Covid. It's time for being radical or just giving up, as time is too short, esp. with the environment, to wait on incremental change. Same with health care, waiting decades for single payer while meanwhile Medicare is being killed with Medicare Advantage plans...

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@nicestuff Nope, won't do it. That would be playing their game and instead, I would rather keep trying to raise the awareness of others. Just playing their game means surrendering the class war. Are you proud of yourself for doing that?

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 2, 2021:

How is it you are for human rights and equality and are also not a feminist? Seems to be a contradiction.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr I have him blocked, so that comment is not available to me.

Marcus Lamb, founder of Christian network Daystar and vaccine opponent, dies after contracting ...

JosephS comments on Dec 1, 2021:

How many more will it take for these people to get a clue?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

Apparently several hundred thousand Americans dead from Covid is not convincing enough evidence. Maybe an even million, which we will hit sometime next year, will be enough. More likely most of these idiots won't wise up until a friend or loved one directly in their life dies or is hospitalized from it.

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

@nicestuff When both candidates from the opposing parties are corporate-owned and serve the same masters, it really doesn't matter, except on the phony culture war issues, which one gets elected. They will both oppress everyone below the top 10% level of wealth and income. The only difference is who will be more openly hostile to minorities, immigrants, women, LGBTQ, and those who are not Christian or Catholic.

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

@nicestuff They pretend to be in bitter conflict with each other, but only over the phony culture war issues, like God, guns, gays, abortion, school prayer, etc. All of that is a distraction, aided by the corporate media, to hide how they both collude on the shared agenda of supporting tax cuts for the rich and corporations, opposing single payer health care, continuing endless wars for empire and oil in the Middle East, supporting Israel no matter what they do, and continuing the suppression of civil liberties, militarizing the police, continuing the military industrial complex, destroying the environment, allowing big Pharma to continue to rob us blind, supporting horrible global trade agreements that screw workers and small business, continue media consolidation, gut anti-trust laws and regulation of markets. Continued privatization of government services. In short, neoliberal economic policies by both parties to serve their rich and corporate donor class. In other words, any issues or policies that matter to the rich and corporate America, there is no difference between the parties at the federal level, so why vote? The only differences between the parties and their candidates is on the culture war issues, but what difference do those make if we all end up serfs and slaves to the rule of the rich and corporations? Big deal if we still get to fight each other over race, religion, and other phony divisive issues? The ruling class and multinational corporations still get everything they want and we get to be ruled by fascism either way, so who cares about the wedge issues, when we are all so oppressed and poor that nobody can even go out and protest anymore? Which is coming before the end of this decade, the way it looks. There will no longer even be the charade of elections for federal offices in a few years.

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

It is my guess that the vast majority of those 30% of eligible voters who do not register, are actually more informed and realistic than most of those in the 70% that do register and vote. Why? Because they have figured out that, esp. in federal elections, that voting really doesn't matter or change much of anything, as both major parties are corrupt and their pre-selected candidates are already bought and paid for, so why bother voting?

As a man living in the Midwest who is childfree and not at all family or kid-oriented, unlike the ...

shockwaverider comments on Dec 1, 2021:

People on the West Coast are more likely to choose to be childfree in my experience. The fact that I didn't want kids or an instant family was a bit of a dating issue up to my early 40s. Now it is a huge plus that I'm childfree as most women around my age are (almost) empty nesters or childfree. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

Unfortunately for me, these Midwest women are still obsessed with their kids and family even in to their sixties, which makes no sense to me, but I continue to pay for being childfree in the dating game, same as when I was a young man, and back then nobody wanted to marry me or date me seriously or long term, because I was not into kids.

The republican purpose

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 30, 2021:

Bob--I'll point out again that those of us in Calif. knew about the ''great communicator's'' plan for ''trickle down''. We knew because we saw that it clearly didn't work!

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 30, 2021:

You are deluded if you think that the Repub Party is the whole problem and that just electing Dems is the answer to everything. Notice how big tax cuts always get passed with some Dems voting for them, same with the military budget? They are two wings of the same party of war, property, corporations, and the rich.

The republican purpose

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 30, 2021:

That was always obvious to me, but most Americans were too dumb to realize the only thing trickling down was the rich pissing on us. Both parties embrace neoliberal economics these days, so that is how it has continued no matter which party held power in DC. Only Bernie Sanders and a few other Dems ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 30, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo I will not debate you, you either have been paying attention to their actions, instead of their words, or not. There is a good reason that the DLC was dissolved during the Obama administration, as it had already served its purpose in transforming the Dem party from a party that supported workers and unions, into a neoliberal party that instead served the rich and corporations. This transformation began in the late 80s with the purpose of making the Dem Party more business friendly and neoliberal in its economic policies, then reached fruitation under Clinton's policies of ending welfare and passing NAFTA, as well deregulating markets.

Karen Trump Supporter Met With INSTANT Karma - The Young Turks [youtube.com]

Charlene comments on Nov 26, 2021:

They snatched her ass up right quick..lololololololololol

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

I was almost hoping she would over-Karen and start resisting and screaming at them, in which case she would have deserved being roughed up a bit, but she didn't and the cops handled it so calmly and smoothly that it surprised her and caught her too off guard to start berating them....

I expected some dumb responses from celebrities and boy, they don’t disappoint.

Jurnee comments on Nov 29, 2021:

Premeditated self defense is also known as first degree murder.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

No shit. He came there with a military weapon and was looking to shoot someone, that attitude on his part is clear. He is thus responsible for his actions provoking the confrontations that ended in his shooting three people and killing two. And if he's smart, which he isn't, he had better lay low, instead of being a public celeb, because I suspect there are some black and lefty type whites that would like to whack him and become hero celebs for it themselves.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 I've had that suggested by other people and I may end up doing that, we'll see. The benefit of that would be protection away from the senior center. But another thing to remember, is that most parking lots of Targets, Wal-Marts, and other box stores, as well as grocery stores, is that they have cameras for their parking lots. So, since those are pretty much where I go in my city besides the senior center, I am fairly well protected by cameras about anywhere in Ankeny that they might follow me besides the senior center. I am a cheap bastard, and hate the idea of spending money on something because bullies force me to do it for protection. I hope I never need to go so far as to buy a handgun to protect myself in the future, but if needed, I would have no moral, political or ethical problem in doing so. And if I did get one, I would go all in on learning how to shoot well, since I would intend to win if these pricks decided to bring it on.... I live in a 55 and over senior condo apartment complex, but I doubt they have any rules or bylaws against owning and keeping firearms in your home here, you just can't use them on the property, I assume.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 Believe me, I thought about the restraining order on him, after he threatened me, but I was concerned that, with the way the staff would not stand up to him, that they would retaliate by banning me from the center, how ironic, on the rationale that I started it and am the problem, instead of him. I also considered that if they did that, I would go to the Iowa chapter of the ACLU to seek help in suing them for discriminating against me if I went to court to get an order against him. I decided to back off and wait and see. But now, I see that he is not going to stop his shit as long as he can get away without consequences. But I think even he knows that if he vandalizes my car on camera, or touches me on camera, and is clearly the aggressor, he will be crossing a line where the center staff cannot protect him and the cops will side with me, due to the clear evidence. I am not concerned that he will put in the time to follow me around town and trash my car somewhere else. I don' think he's smart and ambitious enough to do it. He may well also own a gun, but I don't think he has the guts to use it, when all the record shows that he is making the threats, not me, and I have always left him alone since the first incident, so he would have no case that I was escalating things or going after him. The whole reason I confronted his buddy, the MAGA hat guy, in the first place, was to shake his smug arrogance that everybody there agreed with his BS and politics. I think it's important to confront and stand up to these idiots, so they don't feel so smug and emboldened to say and do whatever they want to.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 I appreciate your concern, but he's too chickenshit to do anything to me on camera, including shove or hit me outside the senior center. My beef with him began months ago when I confronted his buddy, another Trumper who he comes to the center with everyday, rides with him usually and eats with him. I confronted his buddy about how offensive I found his MAGA hat and asked if he could consider leaving it off from wearing it at the center, where we all just come to eat lunch and not hear him and his buddy bringing in their Trump love and loudly mouthing off about it every day for the whole room to hear. Needless to say, his buddy went ballistic about how he loves Jesus and The Constitution, etc. and that's why he wears the hat, etc. After that he and I continued to argue inside the dining room, and that is where his buddy, the guy who took a pic of my car last week, stood up later in the dining room and loudly yelled at me, "How about we go outside and I kick your ass?", to which I said, "You all just heard him threaten me with criminal assault. I want him banned or suspended from here" Needless to say, the staff there and their supervisors were too chickenshit to do anything but talk to him about it, since his politics are the majority in my town. But I made it clear to the staff and their supervisors, that if he ever tried to get physical with me, or threatens me again in front of witnesses, I am going straight to the cops, not them, since they refused to give him any real consequences for his threat. I also told them that I am not physically afraid of him or his buddy, if they hit me, I will finish them in a one on one fight, And they will go to jail for it, not me. Same thing if they fuck with my car on camera outside the center, I will go straight to the cops, since they refuse to punish these assholes for their behavior.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 Agreed. I am, or would be more worried, about someone who I date a while and then went psycho on me, as they would already know where I live and other things about me, so it would be more than just blocking them by phone and online, like having to worry about them following me around, trashing my car away from home, etc., or even doing ID theft. At the same time, I am becoming more worried that we may have civil war in a few years, if the Repubs somehow lose in the next election or two, and there will be shooting in the streets of right wingers against anyone they feel is their political enemy. I already have an asshole Trumper that is being creepy towards me around the senior center where I have been picking up lunches to go before their new building opens next month. Last time, while I was inside getting my lunch, I noticed his car stopped behind my car, so I ran out to confront him. He was taking a cell photo of my car and its license plate and I yelled at him to get the fuck away from my car. He lied and said he was just taking a pic of a sign on the side of the building, a church. Yeah, right, there was no sign on that area of the building. I told him, correctly, that the new building has plenty of cameras on the outside of it, so if he fucks with my car, I will have his ass on video and will go straight to the cops to press charges, won't even bother with the senior center staff, and I will then own his ass. He muttered and drove off. I almost hope he tries to get physical with me in the parking lot, because I would love to finish his ass if a fistfight was initiated by him.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 Never been stalked, so I am honestly not afraid of it. Never give out my full name until I have met someone in person a few times, so that way they can't even find me on FB, much less get my phone number or address with just a first name and age. Also never gave out where I worked even before I retired, the first year or so I was on Match. Even if someone tried to stalk me, I could block their phone number, and I live in a building with security doors and plenty of neighbors who could confront them if they hung around outside. Plus, my car is in an indoor locked garage, so they can't vandalize it when I am home. So I have little to worry about even if someone got thru my screening during the early dating process. The danger would be if I gave too much ID info later and they tried to steal my identity or go stalking me away from home.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 I think you have the right idea. People need to remember in these situations that this is a harmless stranger, that hasn't met you, doesn't know where you live, etc., unless you have already shared this with them, so there is no need to get paranoid that you are going to be stalked, etc.. Once you send the kiss off message and let them read it, then you block them, and it's over and done with. I don't get why some people, esp. women on dating sites, act like the man can reach out thru the computer and harm them. Because unless you have given out a bunch of identifying info already, which I doubt you are careless enough to have done, he can't do anything to you once you block him on the dating site. But too many people seem to forget as grownups on dating sites, that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words in a dating site message can't really hurt you, so why be so damn afraid of upsetting someone, when you have the ability to block them once you have heard enough? Is your pride or hurt feelings really that important? Talk about First World problems.....

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

Agreed. That is what plenty of women have done with me after I have messaged them the first time, or sometimes, later on after trading messages a while. While nobody owes anyone an explanation in online dating as to why they are rejecting someone or decided they aren't a match for them, sometimes I do ask for one from the woman, and sometimes I get one, sometimes I don't. When I reject someone after they have messaged me or met me in person, which is rare, because I am usually the one being rejected, it is usually because I simply don't find the woman physically attractive enough to want to continue contact, not because of other compatibility factors. And that is probably because the profile info and messaging are usually enough for me to determine compatibility with them pretty well prior to the in person meeting, except for the regular wild card of physical attraction or chemistry. Sometimes that is already obvious from the profile photos, and sometimes it's not. But when I reject someone for that reason, I am kind enough to never volunteer that that is the reason I am rejecting someone, as I know that most women get rather upset at that news. But, in rare cases, a woman has asked me why I rejected her, and, instead of giving her some lame other reason for my decision, I have told them the truth. And even then, they usually get mad at me for it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Adults should learn to act like adults, as in, if they ask for the truth, then be ready to handle it. If not, don't ask for it. I treat all adults like adults, and if they ask for the truth or an explanation, I will give it to them, instead of making up some excuse or lame false reason. If they can't handle it or are lying about what they want from me, that's their problem and fault, not mine.

Shows just how nasty she is

Tejas comments on Nov 27, 2021:

You want the capital police officers to receive an award for letting rioters into the capital building?

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 27, 2021:

No, just the ones who fought them off and got beat up or killed...the dead ones could get posthumous medals.

Hello everyone, I'm conducting a survey to get the religious/spiritual views of Canadians (but ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 27, 2021:

You poor soul. I can already predict lots of arrogant Americans on here will go ahead and do your survey, even tho you make it clear you want the viewpoints of Canadians. Most Americans have no respect for instructions or rules.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 27, 2021:

@p-nullifidian My goof then. I assumed there was no mechanism for the OP to cull which participants were Canadian or not, since that appears to be his real research goal. I was basing my assertion on plenty of experience here where an OP asks, for example, for only women, or only people with a particular experience to reply or comment on their post, but instead they usually get tons of comments from people who don't fit that criteria, but are just so certain that their viewpoint must be heard...

The turkeys were spared this year.

HippieChick58 comments on Nov 25, 2021:

Just keep in mind that it is far better to be single than to be harnessed to the wrong person. I just spent several hours with my ex husband/father of my children. I don't feel bad coming home alone to my kitty brats. My ex and I are able to get along most of the time, and I am good at shutting him ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 26, 2021:

Ain't all of that the truth? I hear you and feel for you. Fortunately for me, my one LTR, my long and good marriage to my late wife, who was not perfect, like me, was not to the wrong person. I don't know what that's like, except for having dated a few wrong women for me, but never more than a few or several months, so it didn't really scar me or harm me much. My main negative experiences have been mostly about rejection, both before my marriage and since being widowed. That is what has made me sadder and wiser about relationships. It has caused me to realize how tough it can be to find compatible dating partners, esp. as you get older. People get more defensive, more set in their ways, and pickier about who they will date. And while some of that is healthy, and part of them learning from their experiences, other parts of it are like what Gail, Organist1 says, that in many cases it is ingrained addictions and personality disorders that prevent them from letting others into their lives and from being able to do healthy relationships. I think many people on dating sites subconsciously sabotage any chance of meeting and connecting successfully with others. They say and maybe even consciously want to find a partner, but their standards and behavior make that impossible in practice. Then they continue to end up alone and instead blame all the problems on the people they meet in the dating site.

I get the feeling, increasingly, that Christianity, especially evangelical, is a death cult.

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Exactly! Send us on to glory, so we can become angels and live forever...singing hymns, plucking harps and praising GAWD. (Sounds like so much fun, doesn't it?)

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo It does sound amusing....

I get the feeling, increasingly, that Christianity, especially evangelical, is a death cult.

Word comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Roughly 5 billion years from now, the Sun will exhaust the hydrogen fuel in its core and start burning helium, forcing its transition into a red giant star. During this shift, its atmosphere will expand out to somewhere around 1 astronomical unit — the current average Earth-Sun distance. This ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

And, fortunately for all of us, we will be dead long before that......

I get the feeling, increasingly, that Christianity, especially evangelical, is a death cult.

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Exactly! Send us on to glory, so we can become angels and live forever...singing hymns, plucking harps and praising GAWD. (Sounds like so much fun, doesn't it?)

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

Sounds a little too much like my conception of hell.....if it existed.....

The bootleg CDs, the rare books department, and other stories of holiday mayhem — Ask a Manager

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Glad I never worked in the corporate world and I have been able to avoid most of this organizational holiday bullshit behavior during my working years. When I was working, I mostly treated these holiday work parties as optional and remained sober at every one, always remembering that none of these ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@HippieChick58 Glad to hear you finally found a good employer and that you can ride that one into retirement.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 And yet, based on my experience with Match, even women in their late 50s and their sixties, seem to have bought into and adopted this Amazon shopping mentality about online dating, despite having grown up without the internet and they supposedly do have some in person experiences and social skills to draw on regarding meeting people. Yet they use the tech to shop for partners the same way younger people do. They should know better than to do that, but they don't seem to get how corrupted by the tech they have become.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 You are so right on both points. On the first one, you hit it right on the beginning, the women have rigid and unrealistic demands and requirements because online dating makes it so easy and encouraging for them to treat it like shopping on Amazon for a household appliance. And that is exactly how they treat it. No wonder they end up alone and unhappy, as they lose sight of how they are actually dealing with flawed, complex, holistic human beings, not inanimate objects on a shelf, which, by nature, is messy and takes time and effort to deal with, getting to know a stranger and get past both their defenses and your own. But they want it quick, simple, and easy for them, same as shopping on Amazon. And I have no doubt that guys are no better, in most cases. They go almost entirely on looks, rather than other qualities, and most of them refuse to date someone their own age, I am told, by other women, not just you, much less date someone older. And on your second point, yes, once you reach your fifties, even if you have taken good care of yourself, genetics often rears its ugly head, and something can happen anytime to a partner's health, so it is a crapshoot as to how long they may live after you meet them. That's why the marriage vows say, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 Sounds like we both have very similar dating pools, in that when you weed out all the incompatible people and also factor in how many have unreasonable checklists and standards on their end, such as, in your case the guys who won't date in their own age group, and in my case, the women who are divorced (which is the vast majority of my dating pool) and won't date men who are childless, widowed, non-religious, or non-drinkers, in my case it leaves me with about 2-3% at most who are compatible on both my end and theirs. And it's not like I have that many dealbreakers. Like you, I want someone who is at least somewhat physically attractive to me. For me, to be blunt, it means someone who has at least some curves, and is a solid 6 or 7 on a scale of 10 in looks. The dating puddle for me is so bad, that I am open these days to even dating someone 11 years older than me, even tho I am worried that it could end up setting me up for losing my second partner in a row to death sometime in the next decade or so, but I don't have much choice, as the younger women seem too demanding and unrealistic in their standards. The women older than me seem to be more reasonable about just wanting a good man who is not unattractive, instead of the perfect man or Prince Charming. The ones who are still interested in dating by their mid-70s also are just looking for a good companion, not perfection, as they realize their time left on this rock is not unlimited anymore. Unlike most men my age, I am fine with dating someone older than me, as long as their health is good and they are in better shape than most of their age peers. My late wife was 15 years older than me, so I have always been this way once I hit middle age, and if all other compatibilities are ok, why not date older? I guess I must be more emotionally mature and secure than my fellow men my age because I am not thrown by dating women anywhere from several years younger to 11years older, if they are all equally compatible otherwise.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 Hi Gail. I wanted to add another thought about the dating game that came to mind recently when talking with my therapist about the is subject. While, on the one hand, you would think that older would know a lot more about what they want, like you said, the paradox about that that seems to run in the dating game, and I assume it runs with both sexes, is that the vast majority of women in my local dating pool on Match not only know what they want, but they seem to feel they know TOO MUCH exactly what they want, and end up using an unreasonably long checklist of traits and dealbreakers that they feel the must satisfy to end up with a compatible partner. And the paradox is that so many of these standards are either outdated or irrelevant to what qualities and characteristics might actually be necessary and helpful to the relationship working. Two examples of these standards are that the guy MUST have kids to be compatible, even when both Match members are in their 60s, come on....Another is both people having to drink alcohol with the same level and frequency, again, I say, come on, is it really that crucial, assuming both people are open-minded, reasonable, and somewhat tolerant? Too many seem to get caught up in treating it like shopping on Amazon, and then they wonder why they still end up alone and unhappy. Why do I suspect this? Because I have been on Match a total of four years now, active for three, and I still see many of the same faces and profiles of women, that are even still active, so they either are not looking for an LTR, or are not into monogamy, but I doubt that either of those are the case with more than a few of them, since my local culture and lifestyle mainstream is pretty traditional about that stuff. So, while none of us want to just settle, the standards of most people seem to be unrealistic, narrow and rigid, and ultimately self-defeating in most cases. I have standards, and even a few dealbreakers too, but I don't want to stay alone indefinitely, so I try to make my standards realistic for not only how far out of the mainstream I am on culture and lifestyle for my local dating pool, but also the fact that I am bald and average-looking, which also limit my prospects of how many women in my dating pool will accept me for dating. If only most people were so sober and realistic about their standards and what it will take to find love and compatibility.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Charlene Yup.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Charlene Yup, you can't fight violent fascists here with just a keyboard and voting anymore than you could fight the Nazi's in Germany with voting and letters to the newspaper, tho in the 1940s Woody Guthrie made a good try at fighting them with his guitar and voice.

I feel immense pain for the little children all around the world today.

Sticks48 comments on Nov 16, 2021:

I wouldn't count on it. We thought the same thing in the 60s.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

True. I had great hope and innocence then, as a child and then a teen. But my generation sold out and became corrupted as well, at least most of them did, and instead our society became more like Lord Of The Flies than the hippie or MLK or even LBJ ideal of a Great Society or The Beloved Community or The Free Family. Now see which of you can match up each ideal with the one that promoted it. Consider it a history test.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Charlene The Vietnam War was not worth dying for, and neither any of the other wars after that, because they were all about protecting American empire and corporate profits. But this coming civil war is actually about democracy, and finally getting it for real, instead of the fake charade we have now. And if we let these pricks win with fascist takeover of our government, it will be even worse than our current rule by corporations and the oligarchy. It will install theocracy and total repression of human rights and free speech. Elections will no longer even be bothered with. And those things, even tho it would likely be in vain, are still worth fighting for, at least to me. But voting and sitting behind a keyboard is not going to cut it for this fight.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

And along as most Americans timidly wring their hands and stay inside their homes and behind their keyboards, instead of getting out in the street, risky as it might be, to confront these pricks and pressure the government to crack down on them, things will only get worse. This is already like 1930s Germany, as the Nazi brownshirts became increasingly emboldened. There are few things I feel are still worth dying for, but one of them, at my age, is to get out in the street as this gets worse, and make my stand, unarmed as I am, against these fascists.