What did Marx mean by "religion is the opium of the people"?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 27, 2019:

I agree with this interpretation. It is the medicine for emotional and psychic suffering that the masses use.

In East Europe new laws allow for second generation Holocaust survivors to apply for finamcial ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 27, 2019:

They are entitled to compensation, but I really doubt they will ever get it due to the politics of Russia, the corruption in the govt., and how broke the country is financially most of the time.

Hi I'm in the Chatroom getting ready for Trivia in 10 minutes.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2019:

Not going to join trivia, but wanted to let you know Lisa, that the last two times I tried to enter the Singles/Mingle/ Chat, it DID let me in. Who knows why it works sometimes and not others.....

My daughter told me last night that she believes "everything happens for a reason".

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2019:

In the words of Dawes, an alt rock band I have long liked, " Things happen, that's all they ever do".....

This fits me to a tee...Pardon the pun!

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2019:

I needs me one of those shirts, it would save a lot of explaining on my part that I am too lazy or apathetic to provide.

Maybe all these men should shut up about women’s behavior and bodies and insist that GOP ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2019:

This poster makes my skin crawl. It reads like a cross between The Stepford Wives and The Handmaid's Tale. It shows how men should have no voice whatsoever in making policy about women's reproductive rights. Also, nice job of tokenism for them to have one black woman in the graphic images.

Making Your Best Use Of The BLOCK Function This is a large, diverse, and multi-purpose online ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2019:

I have blocked 27 so far and probably been blocked by about 20 or so. I really don't sweat it either way, as I do see it as a way to customize the site and not put up with being hassled, targetted or annoyed by people who either don't get me, have no respect for me or others, or are just plain toxic and argumentitive. I find it helps me enjoy the site more, and I still run into opinions and people I disagree with on a regular basis, which is good and proves I have not made this site an echo chamber for me. My one fault is that before I block someone I do often taunt them by saying I am going to block them and sometimes state why. That is for the benefit of onlookers so they know what is going on, since the person blocked is not going to get to read it anyway. I think of it kind of like a sports announcer or commentator, plus, like Sticks said, it adds to the fun of blocking.....

I will admit this might be a pick too finicky, but I really do not want to date a man who is smaller...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 25, 2019:

Being tall is one of the few advantages I have over other men in the superficial world of online dating. However, once in a while I actually run across a woman who says in her profile she won't date a man over 6' tall because she is too short for someone that height. Go figure....

Good Morning Everyone?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 25, 2019:

We are not that far away from becoming Gilead here in the US. If we do, just like in the story, the borders to Canada and Mexico will be closed to women and their partners wanting to escape slavery here.

Officially the Worst On-line date ever: "MONROE — Two people missing for a week after meeting ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 25, 2019:

The nice thing about someone dating me is they will always have a designated driver who is also a former professional driver with a CDL. Not as likely to drive the car into a lake. Jus' sayin' ladies.......

Hi all. Sassygirl will be in the Chatroom tonight if anyone is around on a Saturday night. See you!

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 24, 2019:

Last night I got into chat with no problem. Just tried now and no luck this time.

I may need to substitute dogs... Oh wait - I already have them 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 24, 2019:

I don't mind dating cat ladies as long as they own 3 or less and are otherwise compatible. If I lived in your area, I'd be eager to meet you.

For the most part, I agree with these ... what say you ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 24, 2019:

Monogamy is not the problem, at least not by itself. This list seems to be more about obsession, rigidity, unrealistic or extreme beliefs, and narrow-mindedness on the part of one of the partners, which are problems in any relationship, even friendship.

Then and Now. Feel Free to post your favorite tunes of Neil Young.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 24, 2019:

I recently watched a documentary, Deja Vu, that he directed and produced about the 2006 CSNY Freedom Of Speech tour in which he and the old boys opposed W and the Iraq war. It was fascinating to look back at the reactions of both his fans and the public on the Iraq War and the issue of criticizing the war or W. Not much has changed between W and Trump as far as the tactics of the Repubs and their followers, but it has gotten worse. My fav song of his is still Rockin' In The Free World.

My post yesterday regarding "Fiddler on the Roof" prompts me to ask, what subjects or interests do ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 24, 2019:

Karaoke and music in general.

Hey everyone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 23, 2019:

My trying to help on this would be the blind leading the blind. Don't know what to say except that I relate and often feel like giving up on dating. Can't meet anyone right for me and even making a male friend to commiserate with seems impossible as well. Other guys aren't interested in mutual support like that if they are single, at least in my experience.

For the last week or so, I have been unable to join the chatroom for Single/Mingle Chat group.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

Update: I was able to get into chat tonite.

Dennis Skinner, the "Beast of Bolsover", the firebrand British socialist politician, who sings to ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

Sounds like the Brit version of Bernie Sanders. Wish we had a bunch of him in the US political system.

People are herd animals.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

I hate sheeple. I will not even be friends with someone who is a sheeple because they are too frustrating to engage with intellectually, like a Trumper or most very religious folks. Just too frustrating. I know that makes me intolerant, but I would rather be that than frustrated with them. I hate sheeple mainly for how they damage society with their defective thinking and actions, mainly thru voting but also their choices as consumers.

My magic tail allows me to levitate:

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

Cute, active kitty.

Dry run in the bus today, school begins Sept.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

I drove a school bus for several years. I really don't miss the bratty kids or getting up at zero dark thirty, esp. in the winter, to get in the bus in the cold, dark mornings. Best of luck with this school year.

Back before Charlie got religion... [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

I always liked this song and it expresses well my feelings about the South and rednecks. I wish they would just secede again and this time let them go. Too bad Charlie turned and embraced the whole redneck thing later in his career, probably not long after this song.

Today is the final day of the worst year of my life;it was one year ago on the 22nd of August that ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 22, 2019:

Almost all of this whole decade has been loss, grief, suffering and death for me, so I can relate. I will be glad when it finally passes, like a kidney stone, and we begin 2020. Glad you have made progress..

What about grief?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 21, 2019:

I think it's very individual and depends on the circumstances. My late wife had already lost her identity and most of her personality after a few years of having dementia. I had already begun grieving, so when she died over two years ago, I was mostly done with grieving the loss of the person I knew and being part of a relationship of equal adults. I have been ready to date for at least two years. Too bad women on dating sites don't seem to understand or agree, unless they have known someone close who had dementia.

Starved For Practicing Emotional Intimacy (SFPEI) 1: PRACTICING EMOTIONAL CONNECTABILITY ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 21, 2019:

There is a lot of truth in your post. Too bad most people are not ready or willing to hear it in the dating sites. I really wish there was a way to require people to get some therapy before they go on dating sites and inflict their shit on others while blaming everyone but themselves for the drama and dysfunction that surrounds them and those they touch. The line about bleeding on those who didn't cut you is priceless. I am so sick of the paranoia of some women directed at all men they encounter. If they cannot lose that, they have no business trying to date as they will never give a decent man a chance or find anyone that gets past their defenses...

This is just an imaginary exercise for fun.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 21, 2019:

No, there are a few evil rich people I would like to whack, like maybe some of the Waltons, for one. I am aware enough to know that politicians are mostly just puppets of the rich, so if you want to assassinate evil, you need to go to the source or the puppet masters.

Alternatives to ghosting. I like this.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 21, 2019:

#s 3, 4, and 5 are either lies or lame, phony excuses. I won't play those games with other sincere, sensitive souls like me. So I would only use 1, 2, or 6 because they would be sincere and genuine from me. If someone asked me the reason or reasons I was not interested, I would tell them the truth. I know that is a step or level where most people won't go, but if an adult asks me for the truth on that I will give it to them, if only because sometimes I want that from others in the dating game and I appreciate the honesty when I ask for it and get it. So I don't want to be a hypocrite about that issue.

Funny! And true???

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

Things I Shouldn't Say and Bad Housekeeping for all of each one.......

Funny! And true???

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

I tend to be a pretty dark person compared to the norm, but even I don't have near that many dark categories in my past.

Today I had gotten a robocall and the caller ID said it was me calling myself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

Today I got one supposedly from Pay Pal saying my bank card-didn't say which one, of course-had been charged $400 for a suspicious purchase. It was a robocall too.

On this day, 20 August, in 1984 Edwin Earl Ross married Anna Munoz.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

A man after my own heart. My late wife and I were not together as long as you two, but that was due to her dementia and death. We dated a year, lived together two more to be sure of things, and then got married after that. We were together about a third of my current age.

Happy Tuesday Fellow Hippies.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

Actually you are onto something. As the Boomers age and are starting to end up in nursing homes and retirement homes, the facilities are shifting their entertainment options to cater to them. A place where my late wife and I lived in an assisted living apartment, before her dementia separated us later, had a singer come in who sang Motown and doo-wop music as well as other entertainers who would sing some old rock and folk stuff from the 60s. In other words, they are moving on some to not just having music from the big bands and old jazz stuff as their clientele gets more and more contemporary.

Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for August 18, 2019 - GoComics

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

Yeah, the BD character mostly represents Fox News viewers who are ignorant and duped by conservative propaganda.

Since there always seems to be an upcoming election for something and a non-stop parade of political...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

As far as Obama and racism, one thing I hated about Obama was that he and his supporters used his race as a weapon against those from the left, like me, who criticized him as a corporate, warmongering, sellout because they could then accuse us falsely of racism if we bashed him, even tho race had nothing to do with it. His race also worked as an appeal to liberals so they could feel all warm and good about having finally got a black person elected prez, no matter how flawed and corrupt. It was sickening and disgusting, esp. now that Obama and his wife have gone on, exactly as I predicted they would after he left office, and started cashing in on his corruption with the high priced speeches to corporate groups. It just took a little longer than I thought it would for him to start collecting his bribe money for being a good corporate servant to the rich and business. Bring on the haters.....

Since there always seems to be an upcoming election for something and a non-stop parade of political...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

The answer to our problems has been there for decades. It's called public financing of election campaigns, but it will never happen no matter how much people bitch about how money runs politics and how sold out the candidates are, because the concept sounds too socialist and our legal system has been rigged long ago to prevent it and instead preserve the legalized bribery of campaign donation as the equivalent of free speech.

Just wondering.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

I agree that a female prez would need to be or look average weight or even slender to get the approval of most voters. Not fair, but fact. Men are allowed more slack about their looks in politics, tho attractive looking men still have quite an advantage over plain or ugly-looking ones, esp. in races that involve a lot of TV time.

someone likes to kiss me. g

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 20, 2019:

At this point, I would gladly settle for a cat kiss, whether it's licking my hand or my face.....

More drama in dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 19, 2019:

I got stood up twice in less than 4 months by different women from dating sites, so it goes both ways, welcome to the club. With your looks it won't happen often. This guy obviously didn't want to ever meet. He was just feeding his ego by being a text buddy. It sucks that he wouldn't be a real man and admit he just wanted a texting relationship. He is likely married or otherwise involved. Live and learn. The other guy was a liar too. Try to remember that most men and women are fairly honest, but at the same time the better-looking the person, the more shit they will pull in general with the dating game. Why? Because they get most of the attention in the dating game and thus know that they can get away with more. You might consider trying out some of the guys who are only 5s and 6s in looks, because they are more likely to be decent, honest people than the 7s or better. Take my advice or not, as you like......

What It's Really Like to Be Sober Curious: When an Alcohol "Break" Becomes Permanent

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 19, 2019:

A guy recently tried to start a Meetup group around this issue. He named it Sober Des Moines and it got up to 50 members registered on Meetup. However, like most Meetup groups, when it came to finally meeting together, only 6 people showed, even after the leader solicited lots of input on what fit with people's schedules the best. We had a good discussion at the one meeting, but then the leader dropped out soon after, so the group died. I think he was just ahead of the curve too much. Social drinking is such a central part of social life here, esp. among singles. That's why I started lying on my dating profiles, saying I was a social drinker, because I'm tired of being rejected, among other reasons, because listing myself as a non-drinker is taken by cynical women on dating sites as meaning that I have to be a recovering alcoholic or a judgemental teetotaler, neither of which I am.

Heading into the chatroom for a while at 6:25 PM EST USA.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 19, 2019:

The chat still won't admit me, Lisa. Did you see my PM about it?

CEO compensation higher than people estimate it to be and what it to be. What is your opinion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 19, 2019:

Their pay has no relation to performance, but is completely related to how corrupt the system is with their pay being set by cronies they appoint to their company's board of directors. It's an interlocking system where everybody gets rich except the rank and file employees and the stockholders.

Something tells me this Match .

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 19, 2019:

Sounds like we have a new spokesperson for that beer commercial with the " World's most interesting man....".

‘Part of me wanted to leave’: Lone attendee of Steve King town hall turns out to be a ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I live in Iowa, fortunately not in King's area, but in central Iowa and had heard that his party and even a lot of his supporters were turning on him and finally developing a healthy sense of shame about him. All I can say is, good, and better late than never.....If he does run again it looks like they will primary his ass and he will lose.....

Has anyone used Salonpas patch?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Never heard of it, what is it?

Today was a challenging day.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

It's always a hell of a lot easier going thru a dead person's stuff if you have help. It not only provides emotional support, but it also helps save time and adds perspective and input about what stuff to pitch, what to donate, and what to keep.

You know how when someone tells you to wait for them while they get their life together, and they ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

As is always the case with the cool women on this site, I would be very interested in meeting you if you lived in my area, but you don't.....

Getting ready for a singles group party tonight.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

I tried two local singles groups and they were both dead ends. Both groups were full of very square, conservative folks that were mainstream Christians and not at all intellectuals or hipsters. Nice people, but very boring and not open-minded. Unfortunately, both groups reflected the mainstream culture and lifestyle of my local dating pool, so they were piss poor in providing me any dating prospects.

My approach to dating grew out of my mindfulness training in therapy.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Sounds like BS to me, esp. when I saw at the end that it is a course that is sold to people. Reminds me a lot of the $ I spent or wasted working with a dating and relationship coach for a month. Fortunately for me, it was money I could afford to lose, unlike most people. I concluded that she was mainly selling hope to people who had gotten desperate from the brutality of online dating and the dating scene in general. Her coaching methods and materials were all pretty boilerplate stuff that you could have gotten on the net by researching things, as it turned out and, as far as my dating profile, which she worked with me on, it was no different than what Match had done for me for $40 a while back. And neither one made any difference in my response rate from women I messaged. My advice, save your money and get some regular therapy. My therapist confirmed all this with me after my one month experiment and even commented that the coach's revised profile was not only not better, but that it had run-on sentences in it......If anything, my real advice would be to spend the money with a pro photographer to get better pics in your profile, since they seem to be the real key to getting interest from others with online dating. I don't hide anything about myself to others and I feel as much self acceptance as probably most people on dating sites, but this navel-gazing stuff is just a bunch of crap to make people feel more in control and able to influence the process of online dating when the real truth is that most of it is about your looks, which most of us cannot do much about other than our hairstyles and how much we lose or gain weight as well as whether we work out or not. Beyond that, it's pretty much genetics as far as our looks, with the exception of maybe how you dress in the pics, but again, that is an area where a photographer could probably help you out as well if they are experienced in their work and esp. if they are female or a gay male, stereotyping a bit here, I know, but probably on the mark tho.

Good afternoon everyone! My cable was off for a couple of hours so I was reading.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Welcome to my world of having only estranged family, instead of supportive family. I'm very grateful for my friends who have replaced them in my life. Maybe this might make it easier for others to understand why it would be so hard to move away from them just to have a better dating pool. Easier said than done. I now have 3 unsupportive siblings and my friends, that's it, in my life.

THIS JUST IN!!!!!

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

I haven't drank since 1996, so it's a good thing I'm retired. Most of my jobs were not that enjoyable tho, so I can relate, at least in my memories......

Congratulations to @bobwjr for reaching level 9 !! Woohoo.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy...

I am in the chatroom...not sure if its still being buggy.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

Looks like it's being buggy again. It was fine earlier this evening. I tried to join and it wouldn't admit me and it doesn't look like it was letting you chat.

Every time I log on with my Desk Top to Agnostics, I get and error message from Microsoft telling me...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

No, but I've had other problems with the site recently.

A couple we can respect

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

Speak for yourself. I loathe them and the Clintons, but for different reasons than conservatives do. Just another pair of sellout, Neo-liberal corporatists who posed as liberals.

Which response is your favorite?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

My problem now is being widowed and trying to date in a local area where the mainstream culture is all about family and kids, even at my age, so even the childless women seem to only want to date family men. Maybe they are trying to hedge their bets for not having kids by dating a guy with kids so they can be adopted by his family if they are widowed and lonely later, then his family will look after them and keep them company. No less selfish than the argument below about having kids so they will take care of the parent in their old age.

Who has been called a nerd? Are you proud of it or is it just me?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 15, 2019:

I've never been called a nerd. Other negative labels, yes. I am proud to be an intellectual and am proud when I am labelled that once in a great while. I wish America was a place where the term was not usually accompanied by a sneer.

Sweet. I can't even imagine it though!

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 15, 2019:

As Tony Soprano once said to his therapist, " The circle jerk of life".....

The site appeared to be down for a while this morning. Did anyone else experience this?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 15, 2019:

This evening I tried joining the single/mingle chat room and it wouldn't let me in.

Hi Everyone -I'm in the chatroom at 6:24 PM if anyone wants to chat.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 15, 2019:

I tried to join you, it won't work or let me in.

Strange how people have to resort to insults when they don't like someone's opinion "AnneWimsey ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 15, 2019:

I blocked AW a long time ago. I suggest you do the same...

Is it okay to pretend to love someone if you're up front about it?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Reminds me of the Clintons sham of a marriage a bit. Could never believe that Hillary actually forgave and still loved Bill after all the humiliation he put her thru. No doubt she stayed married to him and they both faked their continued marriage all for her political ambition and their shared hunger for power..... And understand that my contempt for the Clintons, as well as all corporatist pols, is not because I am a conservative, which I am not, but because I am a socialist who hates all pols that are phony and serve the status quo.

More sad evidence for mysogyny in the Land of the Unfree.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Makes sense to me. Women sure don't do mass shootings that I've ever heard about even tho there are many women who own guns, enjoy shooting, and even have military training with guns. Maybe they just don't have the same level of hatred towards others that these men have and are also not as sexually frustrated. The other piece of the puzzle may be that women do not have the same sense of entitlement as white men, who do almost all the mass shootings, seem to have. Therefore, less rage when they do not get their way in love, jobs, etc..

I am hurt and angry.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Good looking people attract more interest and people, both of the good and healthy kind as well as the bad and unhealthy. I wish I had your amount of interest in me from others, but I am grateful I have not had your kind of problems with dating. I wish I could understand better or be more empathetic, but I can't and won't pretend that I can. As one of my mentors on here says, it goes both ways. I wish I could understand how people with lots of interest from others think, but I honestly don't. Too bad having your shit together and wanting only one person is not enough these days to get interest from others and find love. I remember being younger and finding that it was often enough back then, but it sure as hell isn't enough now. Wish you the best, Marianne and that I could help....

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

LL- Thank you for as least asking the ? and thus showing you are more kind and considerate than most people in online dating, who would just take the easy way and ghost. Like skado said below, there is no easy answer. You could do what I do in those rare situations where someone is more interested in me than I am in them and do this: Send them a short message thanking them sincerely for meeting you and point out something positive about them so they feel some encouragement about being dateable in general, but also make it clear that you do not feel they are a match for you and that you are moving on. If they bother to ask your reason or reasons for not wanting to continue to see them or have contact, which is very rare in my experience that someone would ask, I will tell them the blunt truth, since they are an adult and by asking they are implying they are able to handle the truth, so that's what I will give them. On the face of it, asking the reasons why someone is rejecting you may seem to make no sense or be useless, but, having been on both ends of the rejection situation in online dating, it does make some sense in that otherwise the rejected have no real data or info to understand why they are experiencing so much rejection, a common experience in online dating, and it also helps give the rejected more of a realistic idea who they have a chance with in online dating and who they don't. Which, trust me, can be helpful in such in an otherwise impersonal, mysterious process as online dating is anyway. With so much rejection and ignoring that average looking and most people in online dating experience, some honest feedback can be very valuable and useful, esp. if it concerns something the rejected party might be able to do something about, like hygiene, attitude, what they said or shared that was inappropriate etc..

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I just ran across a profile on Our Time of a woman from my town that had no pics of her, just two of her dog in the backyard and one of a plate of food. Someone this clueless is not even worth bothering to message and tell her to include some pics of herself.

More gangster cats

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Still makes me think of a Tarantino movie, Reservoir Cats........

I wonder how many Woodstock attendees saved those stubs?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

My late wife didn't, but she had pics that prove she was there.

DC MD VA peeps. Happy hour get together posted in our group.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Wish something like that could happen in the Des Moines area on here, but we don't even have the critical mass to try it.

Joe Biden, speaking in Iowa, says 'poor kids' are 'just as talented as white kids'

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 13, 2019:

Ah, Uncle Joe, the darling of the Clinton, DLC, Dem establishment leaders who care more about stopping Bernie than winning the next prez election. He will probably be their nominee and, just like Hillary, will be a sure loser in 2020 against Trump. You heard it here first. He is just as out of touch and apathetic about average people as Hillary, just less smooth......

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Objective beauty, as he defines it, is a real issue that does matter a lot to both men and women. The proof of that is which sort of people on dating sites get their messages read, much less replied to. If your pics are not attractive enough, people will swipe away or reject you on that initial fact, no matter what you say in your message or in your profile essay. Having said that, we have had many discussions already on these boards on the concept of leagues and classes of looks, so I will not repeat all of that here, except to tie it to this video by saying that some if not much of the frustration of online dating is the fact that most, if not all, of us, are trying much of the time to date out of our league or class of looks by pursuing people who are too good-looking for us, based on objective beauty. So we get rejected by them because we are below their level of objective beauty. I had a dating and relationship coach take a look at my dating activity on Match and I asked her if I appeared to be trying to date too much out of my league in who I was messaging, etc. She said I was trying to do that some of the time, but not often enough for her to be concerned about it or for it to be that unusual compared to most people. She said that the point is that when you pursue people outside of your level of looks you can never expect a reply, because you will almost never get one. Perceived beauty, as he defines it, will only come into play with online dating after you have already met the other person's standards for objective beauty, which means it will never have a chance unless your photos are already impressive or your beholder has very low or loose standards of objective beauty, both very rare these days. Very few people who shine or have great in person charisma to compensate for their lack of objective beauty will get that chance with online dating. Those people are better off putting their energy and focus into meeting people IRL and dating organically instead of online.

At current rates a federal reserve board study shows that the top 10% will own 100% of the wealth in...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

In less than 33 years, the US will look like a Mad Max movie and I will be dead, hopefully......

When Black Panthers Carried Guns, Conservatives Supported Gun Control [buzzfeednews.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

I was alive back then too. The issue of who, as far as racial groups, were allowed to carry guns and own them has always been about who should hold the real power in the society. Nowadays tho, poor whites are deluded enough to think that owning and carrying guns gives them real power in this society when the clear truth is that real power these days in America is about being wealthy, not having guns.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

I have been on Match for almost two years and the vast majority of female profiles my age describe themselves as " About Average" in the body type category they choose for themselves. I have gotten to the point that I will not bother messaging the woman if she does not include a full body shot photo of herself in the profile pics, because I will not just take someone's word about their body type, nor should they take my word about my body type. We all know damn well that body type matters to almost all people on dating sites, be they male or female. Too bad some will not admit that harsh truth. BTW, you forgot two other options that I believe are still in the Match list of body type categories, namely Curvy and Big And Beautiful, the latter being a euphanism for the most part, at least in my book......As far as your argument about "average" meaning about 10-20 lbs over the medical ideal, that weight is about average body type in my mind, but, as I said, I long ago quit assuming that body type came with the use of that term on dating sites.....

What to do?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Bernie got played last time when he accepted the compromise with the party leaders and Hillary supporters to let the party continue to have superdelegates and not let them vote until the second ballot at the convention. He should have known that the party establishment would be ready for him in four years and rig things with a large, diluted field of candidates so that no one candidate would win on the first ballot and thus the superdelegates would once again be able to nominate another corrupt, corporatist centrist like Biden on the second ballot, which is probably what will happen unless Bernie and Warren join forces to unite their supporters and win on the first ballot. Most of the superdelegates are already elected officials and they have no shame. Harassing them will not get them to change their votes for the nominee, altho it might make you feel better.

Got my T shirt and pen!

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Considering how recently you joined, you made level 8 in record time...

Had a nice day with my new girlfriend, Renzie, up at Lake George on a brunch cruise.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Friendships are very crucial, esp. if you are not close with family, as is my case. What is consistently disappointing is that same sex friendships are hard to find among single men my age. I have tried to become friends with other single men I have met thru Meetup groups and a couple singles groups, but with no luck. These guys just don't seem motivated or interested in making any male friends, they are totally focused on finding a woman to date and seem to consider male friends to be a distraction or waste of their time, even tho we both could use the support, friendship, and encouragement of another friend who is going thru the dating struggles too like them. My one recent friend happens to be married and very socially active. Go figure. But even tho he is encouraging about my dating efforts, he doesn't have any patience or interest in hearing about my negative experiences with it. For that, I have to rely on other friends or vent about it here, where, also, the tolerance is often very limited in what people are willing to hear.

Honey, where is the cat?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Reminds me of the neighbor cat I knew years ago that was smart enough to know how to hide behind trees from humans.

Only atheists.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Living in San Fran, you should have tons of non-believing men to choose from, unlike us folks here in flyover land. The stats are definitely on your side in that locale.......

Jeffrey Epstein, accused sex trafficker, is dead by suicide, found in his Manhattan jail cell

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

The house of cards was just preserved by this convenient death, what do you mean Paula? His death covers it all up for the guilty members of his sex ring.

Jeffrey Epstein dies while in DOJ supervised prison, shortly after being taken off suicide watch.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Either way, it's no surprise. This was like Jack Ruby and Oswald after the JFK assassination. There was no way he was going to be allowed to rat out all the VIPS that he stood to get a deal for testifying against concerning his sex ring. If he didn't kill himself, he was going to be whacked anyway and he undoubtedly knew that.

Well, here I am single again....

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Sometimes you can't save a drowning person because they don't seem to even want to try to survive or just don't have it in them to survive any longer. Sounds like you did as much as possible for her. Time to save yourself and not let her pull you under. Like, LL, I am curious if it's someone from this site, so I can stay clear of her myself.

The Fugs I could not get high! A over the top band of dubious merit! Still love their ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Beat all hell out of Afroman's " Because I got high"....

On a positive note.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

I am exactly who I say I am on here, for better or worse. Too bad there is no one local to date from Agnostic. Still feel fairly alone on this site.

Arlo Guthrie - Alice's Restaurant 1967 [m.youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

So many times in my life, living here in Iowa, I have experienced what Arlo's character does in the song where the draft board tells him, " Kid, we don't like your kind.....".

Shadow doing his tech support "Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Looks like a hip kitty to me....

‘Straight Pride’ Leader Slips Up Pleading Case To City Council

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Very funny. Some shit is so strange you just can't make up anything funnier or weirder than that.....I'm sure that will have a long life on You-Tube....

Iowa Religious Extremist Who Burned Library Books Faces The Law [au.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

His attitude is not surprising as he lives in the western part of Iowa, a cultural wasteland and backwater, as far as this Iowan is concerned. There are no universities there, almost everyone is conservative, white, and religious, and Steve King represents them in congress, a man who is openly as racist as Trump. What does surprise me, since Orange City has a college that is conservative Christian, is that some brave souls organized a Pride event. That part is encouraging. About the only liveable parts of Iowa are in the central and eastern parts of the state where there are some universities which attract educated, diverse, and tolerant people. The rest of the state outside the larger cities are mostly filled with rubes, hicks, and other ignorant, narrow-minded types that are best to avoid at all costs....

[thoughtcatalog.com] 40 questions single women are tired of hearing. Do you ask any of them?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 8, 2019:

The only one I have ever asked, if any, is some variation on how long have you been single/widowed/divorced, and only to get some idea how long they have been on their own, how settled into being on their own they are, etc. I would only ask this of someone I met from a dating site, otherwise it is none of my business. I also agree with the short list of platitudes at the end of the article, all of which I get sick of seeing used here on Agnostic way too much of the time: Don't worry. The right one is out there. Your right one will come along as soon as you quit looking, etc. All of which are magical thinking and empty platitudes. The reality is that being alone when you prefer to be coupled sucks and others who tell you different are trying to make themselves more comfortable with you or get you to stifle your unhappiness about your situation.

Mass shootings. Perhaps it's a societal issue like obesity and religion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Nobody but the police or military need automatic weapons or ones that can easily be converted to automatic weapons. If you have so little trust in your police and military to think that they will be against you should the government decide to impose martial law and become a dictatorship, then you have bigger problems than you will be able to solve with just a large group of preppers, rednecks, and conspiracy nuts armed to the teeth, but too disorganized to beat the combined forces of the police and military who will be much better organized and with integrated communication systems. I can only hope in that case that the grunts in the police and military will stand down and side with the common people as they did at the end of the Soviet Republics in the 80s.

Janis Joplin Big Brother and the Holding Company - Piece of my heart [m.youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 5, 2019:

It's really annoying here in central Iowa that most women, both my age and younger, only know of Janis from two songs, mainly from her glorified country song, Me And Bobby McGee by Kris Kristofferson, which was a big hit for her even tho it's nothing like her real music (but here in country music land everybody has heard that one and usually likes it best) and then the cover of this song by country singer Faith Hill, which sounds very little like Janis's sound. Man I get sick of how country music dominates the culture here, but I'm too old, tired, and weak to want to move and start over on my own. I tell the women who sing the Faith Hill cover of this or Bobby McGee to please do me a favor and try singing a real Janis song sometime instead of these two lame songs that Janis is connected to, since the songbooks usually also have Get It While You Can, Down On Me, Cry Baby and Try Just A Little Bit Harder, and Little Girl Blue, in other words real Janis songs with soul.

Shirt is slightly altered...(just like me!). Advertising slut.😂

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 27, 2019:

Thanks for promoting the site Marianne. You make a good Vanna....

Well, Ladies, who wants to take Bachata lessons with moi?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 26, 2019:

A straight man who can dance is so far ahead of the game with most women who love to dance that he can be below average looks and still get lots of interest from attractive women. So many of said women are tired of dancing with gay men or else straight men who are full of themselves.

I just told my friend I think I am the runaway bride of dating!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 26, 2019:

May well be true. You seem to attract quality men compared to the rest of what's out there, but maybe deep down you don't want to be coupled with anyone. Something to ask someone more qualified than me, like an experienced therapist. Like Deiter said, wish I was as spoiled with good choices as you seem to be.....

The Horrors of Jeffrey Epstein’s Private Island | Vanity Fair

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 26, 2019:

Sometimes the only justice in this life comes only in vigilante or revenge style. If the father or mother of one of those girls ever catches up to him and blows him away, I wish I could be on their jury to nullify any murder charges against them.......

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

Like Sticks says all the time, it goes both ways (with both genders) when it comes to being deceitful and being shallow in online dating or dating in general. Having this debate over and over with each gender defending their fellow gender members becomes really old and tiresome. Let's all be honest enough to just admit that for once and quit waging gender wars on here.

Alaska is Far Out ! Anybody travilin' up this way is welcome to look me up.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

I leave Sun. on a cruise from Seattle to AK, but it only goes as far north as Juneau, so I won't see you.

Does Uncle Sam Exist?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

I don't give a damn, fit that into your poll......

With all kinds of room on the bed to curl up and nap, of course Chloe chooses the newly laundered ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

Cats target the warmest spot in the room better than a heat-seeking missile.....

Gangster cats:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Reservior cats, from Quentin Tarantino, coming soon to the big screen........

friends are important...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Yes and no. While making platonic friends thru a paid dating site like Match happens all the time and there is nothing wrong with that, I recently had an experience with Match what makes me beg to differ on all the happy talk of collateral friendship from dating sites. I met a woman for coffee after trading a bunch of long messages with her and much sharing of personal info. On paper we looked to be very compatible, which she even admitted later after rejecting me by a message the day after we met in person.She also admitted that, unlike me, she had never felt any physical attraction for me based on my pics but still decided to meet me in person because even tho she said that she felt it was pretty unlikely or completely unlikely that she would feel attraction for me after meeting me, she thought I seemed compatible enough to possibly be good friendzone material, so she wanted to meet me for that reason. As I told her in my reply to her rejection message, her attitude about meeting with a man from a dating site after giving him reason to think she was open to and likely interested in seeing if there might be more than friendship, with all the long, friendly, enthusiastic messages, is very patronizing, at least in my book. To have this secret agenda of interviewing and auditioning a guy for solely a friendzone relationship while giving him reason to think that a romantic relationship is actually on the table if very selfish, arrogant and patronizing to the guy. And I told her so. I said guys and women too, for the most part, do not join paid dating sites for the main purpose of making platonic friends and her private agenda was insulting and hurtful, at least to me. This is why, as I told her I do in my online dating, that if I see a woman's pics and don't feel any attraction, I don't message them. If they message me, I reply and simply say I'm not interested. I don't think it's right to play games like she did and lead people onto thinking they have a chance to be more than friendzone when it's already been decided in advance by the other person. Doing that is cruel and selfish. I told her to shove her strategy for finding male friends and maybe join a Meetup group that is not centered around dating to meet platonic men, that way nobody is mislead.