Why would, or wouldn't, you date a believer?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 15, 2019:

I could and would date a believer if they were not strongly religious, were otherwise compatible with me, and were open-minded enough to accept me as a non-believer. Unfortunately, in my experience, very few believers in my area are open-minded and accepting of non-believers, which is not surprising. Because few of them have ever actually known a non-believer as a friend or something closer than that and also because as members of the dominant, mainstream culture, they can easily find and choose among many other fellow believers to date, thus, they have little to no motivation to be more flexible or open-minded about dating non-believers. As I often say about the dating game, most people are only as open-minded as the dating market forces them to be. Otherwise, as long as they don't feel it would doom them to being alone forever, most people are very close-minded about who they will date and will mostly choose others who are an opposite gender version of themselves as far as background, interests, culture, and lifestyle.

Has anyone found someone special on this site?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 15, 2019:

Not really. I've met several women on here that became, at least for a while, Agnostic pen pals to trade PMs with or talk on the phone in a few cases, but no one local or anyone that I met in person. I have not met anyone local for dating and I won't date anyone LD, so the short answer is NO, nobody for dating. Since no new women my age have joined in the last two years locally, I doubt it will ever happen for me with this site.

[youtu.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 15, 2019:

Like any piece of theater or film, it all starts and rests on the script. I found the material fairly boring, even tho I did a lot of community theater-acting-when I was young and more bold and confident. Some of it is funny, in the same vein as Jon Lovitz's Master Thespian character from SNL. You, on the left, and the other actress are both very good at your characters, and on a similar talent level with the local semipro actors I see regularly here in Des Moines. So I feel Bobby is being a bit harsh, but I don't think the writing is strong enough to perform it again. You both have the talent that you should be onstage again doing other stuff. I saw this more as kind of an audition piece rather than something to present to an audience for a performance. I am a fairly critical person when it comes to performing arts, so make of my critique what you will.... I have seen Death Of a few times, so I am familiar with the plot and the Linda character from it. Tho that is a minor part of the sketch, I think that aspect would make parts of the sketch less funny or confusing to someone who is unfamiliar with Salesman. You look a bit like Angela Lansbury here and remind me a bit of her in the character. Have you ever played Amanda Wingfield in The Glass Menagerie? That's a classic role for older actresses and I could really see you in it....

My sister died yesterday after being sick for 2-3 years.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

My condolences. I could not read any Christian text either at a funeral mass. I did speak for a few minutes at my mother's visitation service, but I was allowed to compose that myself so it was authentic and comfortable for me. Like Pam and UUNJ said below, maybe you could suggest to your niece letting you read something secular that you would both be comfortable with. There are many great readings available to find on the web. However, I know from experience that Catholic funeral masses tend to be very restrictive about what music and readings they will allow there. I don't even know if they allow a non-priest to deliver a eulogy.

{{{originally posted on}}} 6-6-06 (Seriously folks, if you love your faith, Don’t Read This!!!)...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

In the words of the bard, Bob Dylan, in "Positively 4th St.." " You have no faith to lose, and you know it".

If dtrumph hates immigrants so much why does he keep marrying them?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

I can only speculate that on his end it's for the sex and that as immigrants from patriarchical, very traditional cultures, they will put up with his misogynist BS more than American women would. Also, they are with him for the money. Sort of a very high end prostitute or mail order bride.

Anyone else feel that it isn’t necessary to get married?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

As a retired, financially secure, widowed man without kids, marriage serves no real purpose for me and I will not get married again unless I meet a woman that really demands it as part of continuing to share my life with her. I will not be pressured into marrying someone early on after I meet them and if someone requires that for me to be with her due to her religion, that tells me she is not a match for me. Commitment is proven by making someone an exclusive relationship and then continuing to prove over time you are committed to them. I got a prenup before my one marriage and would require on before another as well.

Never leave your smartphone unattended:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

I suspect that secretly most cats have learned how to use the TV remote.....

I wish to share my feelings of joy! I was never looking for this love that filled my life, not ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Happy for you. Wish I still had hope of meeting someone like that for me, but the last two years have pretty much beaten it out of me.....

You know, Oklahoma and Kansas are pretty easy to pick on.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Your travalogue reminds me of the Charlie Daniels song, Uneasy Rider, about how one needs to avoid the whole South to get from east to west. Charlie sang about going from the Northeast to LA and that next time he was going to go thru Omaha, just to avoid the South. I no longer need to deal with OK or KS anymore now that my younger sis moved away long ago from Bartlesville, OK. Glad I had a place to stay there and didn't need to stop for a night on the way there from Iowa. The conditions in each state are a testament to what low taxes and limited government will get you. They all vote Repub and get what they deserve....And while we're at it, some parts of Missouri, which is also in the Bible Belt, are not that much better than those two states. I know from visiting people in KC. I do live in part of flyover land, indeed.......

Sound on. Hungry and large kitty [facebook.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Christ, that thing is as long as a medium-sized dog. Wouldn't you need some kind of exotic pet license to have a cat like that in your home? It's also very loud.

There are times you wish you had a train horn mounted on your car.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Can't fix stupid. But sometimes nature does take care of it by thinning the herd......

I'm not that brave:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

I think most cats already know that it's their house and you're just allowed to live there. This cat is just being more obvious about it. Looks very comfortable and secure. Seems to be saying " I'll just lie here while you see about my breakfast"..

Perfect response to those annoying guys ladies

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Good one....

Sing along with kitty [facebook.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Cute and spoiled.

You’re Welcome..... [boredpanda.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 14, 2019:

Owl Kitty has great flair, along with cuteness...

What kind of man do women really want? Nailed it! [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 13, 2019:

Sounds about right. Translation: It's all bullshit and many women actually have no idea what they really want in a partner, unless maybe they have been to therapy, taken their own notes, and learned something about themselves. Same with most guys (not me tho, I've got the notes and knowledge to prove my time in therapy), it goes both ways......

Whats it like for members who live in Bible Belts?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 13, 2019:

I'm not sure, does Iowa qualify as Bible Belt? I know the South does, but not sure about the Midwest. Somebody help me on that and I'll weigh in if I qualify.

As recently as 30 years ago, America was over 90% Christian.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 13, 2019:

Same as Christianity losing its numbers in America, you see the same dynamic with white males losing their privilege, they act cornered and get frightened and angry, lashing out at women, gay people, and racial minorities for allegedly taking away their power, status, and jobs. So they vote for Trump or other conservative demagogues, commit mass shootings, and other hate crimes as their way of striking back against their perceived enemies.

Very nice!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 13, 2019:

That is truly great decorative artwork, belongs in a museum....

It seems like everyone complains there are no honest politicians, but if a politician tells it like ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 13, 2019:

That's because most voters are idiots and immature children who are too ignorant and stupid to handle the truth and respect someone willing to tell it. Otherwise, we would have already had Nader twice as prez and already had Bernie too....

My ex keeps telling me I'm shallow because I will only date women who are small.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 13, 2019:

Things like hair color and height are really pretty trivial or minor in the eyes of most singles who are looking to date. It's ridiculous that dating sites even used to list eye color of the member as well as what eye color they were looking for in a partner. What really matters, to me somewhat, as well as to most people, whether they admit it or not, is body type. For men, it's the woman' breast size, how slender or overweight she is, how fit and toned her body is or isn't. For women, what matters to them, at least most or many of them, is how much hair the man has on his head, how slim, average, or overweight he is, and, like with men towards women, how muscled, fit, toned, or athletic he is. Anybody who says body type is not important is either very exceptional or lying. Why the hell do you think that every expert on online dating says that both men and women want to see at least one full body shot in the profile's pics, (as well as one close up headshot so the viewer can see how wrinkled their face is too)? Plus, all dating sites ask the member to categorize their own body type as well as what what types they are seeking in a partner. The vast majority of women rate their body type as average in their profiles, whether that is accurate or not, but nobody is going to take anybody's word on something that crucial, so that's why most people have several pics in their profile, including a full body shot. Body type is usually very important in sexual attraction, at least early on in a relationship. As time goes on, other things do become more important, but I'm talking about who you want to date in the first place after you see them, in person or in an online profile. I prefer women who are slender to moderately overweight, any height, hair color or length, with average to above average size breasts. Always been that way......Make of it what you will...

Basic Income?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 12, 2019:

You need to allow for multiple votes per person. I would vote for both of the first two options. We need a basic income, as prez candidate Andrew Yang has proposed, and it needs to be paid for with taxes on the super wealthy and with a tax on Wall Street firms speculating on trades. Between automation and AI, most jobs will be eliminated over time, so better education for all is not the answer as most jobs will be actually lower-skilled and lower-paying in the future as more are eliminated. Having free college available would be a social good in itself as we would have a more informed and more critically-thinking public, but it will not help us in finding employment for everyone, that's why we need a UBI. The rich, however, have no interest in paying for it, as it would benefit only unneeded workers that don' help them make profits. They don't even want to pay their fair share as it is to fund Social Security and Medicare, as they don't need it themselves at all.

Theatre Folk and Friends is a new group- and we love musicals. Please! Come and visit!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 11, 2019:

Tried looking for your group on Agnostic and can't find it. How would one join it then?

6 Easy Exercises That Anyone Can Do (LOL).

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 11, 2019:

I rarely hear voices in my head, but they don't concern me because I've been told you don't need to worry as long as you don't do what the voices tell you to do...........

6 Easy Exercises That Anyone Can Do (LOL).

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 11, 2019:

Sounds like the Sloth Olympics.....

I've posted this quote before.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 11, 2019:

My brother turned me on to HST back when I was in college and I went to see the Gonzo give a lecture at my university. He was doing his whole gonzo journalist schitick back then, with lots of booze onstage. He was acting like his caricature from Doonesbury then, but it was entertaining. Many years later my brother gave me a baseball cap from Thompson's favorite bar in Colorado a few years before Hunter checked out of this life. I still wear it some and it was the best gift I ever got from him.

anyone like Hardcore? Punk? Metal?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 11, 2019:

I liked the older punk bands. Not familiar with any of them past the 90s. Not into hardcore or metal, but even they, like anything, are better than country, which to me is music for hicks, rednecks, and idiots.

gasps for air I can't stop watching this 😂🤣😂🤣 Caution; swear words [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 11, 2019:

That is one strange-looking, angry cat. It reminds me of a white-furred version of the late Grumpy Cat.

STANDING BEHIND YOUR EMPLOYEE My day job as some of you may know is printer repair tech.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 10, 2019:

I can't remember a single job where an employer stood behind me in any beefs with a customer. Employees have been disposable since before I became an adult. The only non-management employees who get backed by an employer are those who are either related to management or the owner or else close friends of the same.

What do you think are some of the root causes of apathy in our society?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 9, 2019:

Combination of people feeling hopeless that anything important can be changed thru the political system or even mass movements, coupled with ever-increasing callousness that occurs from the struggle to survive and a toxic culture in our social and mass media.

For those of you that don’t live in Michigan this is a real road sign in Troy Michigan.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 9, 2019:

In that same vein, my late wife's niece visited my wife and I soon after my wife got dementia and we gave her a short tour of the Des Moines area, including passing an all too-common convenience store chain called, I kid you not, Kum and Go. Only in the Midwest could you get away with a brand name like that. She had to take a pic next to their store sign so she could share the joke with her friends back in Atlanta, where no one would be able to mention the store name with a straight face.

Best Idea I had seen in years...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 9, 2019:

Wouldn't make any difference in most cases. The parents of the bad kids are usually in complete denial about their kid's behavior. I worked for several years as a school bus driver and even when we had video evidence of the kid's behavior, the parents would usually refuse to believe their kid was misbehaving and instead bully the general manager of the bus company and blame the driver for lying about their kid or somehow provoking their kid into acting badly. The main reason I quit driving the bus is that I got sick of how the bus company, pressured by the school district, kept increasing the survellience on the drivers while at the same time we drivers got less support each school year from the school district officials, including the principals, in dealing with student discipline on the buses. I got sick of how many times I would write up a kid for conduct violations and never get any action on the kids, even if I had video evidence of it. But if we ever acted inappropriately towards a student on the bus, there was always hell to pay for it and very quickly too. I got sick of the double standard. The kids all knew they were above punishment, but we sure weren't, so we had no authority with the bad kids. That's why a lot of the drivers I worked with quit recently and more will quit in late August. The real problem is the school district won't stand up to the bad parents and bad kids. Instead they side against the drivers and that's why we quit. It all began when they outsourced the busing a decade ago, making the bus drivers third party employees of the district instead of part of the system. Made it much easier for them to throw us under the bus, pun intended. It pissed me off that the school district would not let parents see the video evidence, citing privacy rights of other kids on the bus, but would let the principals see it. Many times the principals refused to watch the video evidence after we wrote kids up because they didn't want to have to act on the evidence. Chickenshit cowards.....Outsourcing busing service and the first line of the bus discipline process to a contractor company may distance the school district some from handling the problem of bus discipline, but it doesn't solve or remove the problem. But it helps the school district take less heat from the parents, which, besides lowering costs for the school district, is why they outsource.

I'm anxious.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 9, 2019:

I thought mine was bad. Now that my parents are both dead, I can now avoid seeing my siblings for a while and that's what I plan to do until one of them or their spouses die. I do have a cousin near Chicago that I would like to go see sometime that is a cool person, as is her hubby. I also have my godparents in California who are old and sick, probably the next ones to die. They are richer than God and think that Reagan was the best prez ever. Not sure if I will bother going to their funerals or not. I admire your guts for going to the party even tho you are struggling.

Short legged kitty jumping [facebook.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 8, 2019:

I used to see a dwarf Persian cat that was so cute when it would run across the room with its short legs. This cat does look majestic.

That might give you a bit of a start:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 7, 2019:

Fluffy kitty fur just like a towel.

Men find it hard to connect with plus-size women in the same way that women don't seem attracted to ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 7, 2019:

I have always been tall. But for the last couple decades I have been bald or balding, so my attractiveness has probably been a wash once I hit my late 40s.. I also used to be more athletically built too, until my early 50s. I know these appearance things make a great difference, as when I was younger and had more going for me in appearance, I could get dates with not that much effort. Of course, that was before online dating. In online dating, I get very little interest, probably because of all the competition from men with better builds and more hair on their heads.

Likely story...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 6, 2019:

How dare you accuse me?

For those who hate comparing Trump to Hitler, look at this: [thehill.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 5, 2019:

One fascist apparently admiring another one, imagine that......

Does anyone actually meet anyone from here?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 5, 2019:

From checking your profile and the nearby members listed who are interested in dating, you appear to have somewhat better than normal options for local dating than most members of this site. Myself, I have made some online friends here, never met anyone in person, and never connected with anyone where there was mutual interest in dating. For almost all of us, the only real dating options with this site were if you were willing to date LD, and I am not.

What do you think?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 5, 2019:

This is a form of jury nullification, which is a good part of our legal system when it is exercised properly. It allows the common people a way to overrule unjust laws indirectly in the interests of justice.

Disclaimer: the following is based on several years of personal experience with online dating and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

Ok, ready to give a more thorough reply, altho the others here have said some of what I would have. BTW, wise move to have added a full body shot to your photos as one of the women suggested. Body type first. Yes, most men do want a woman with some curves, as long as they are not more than moderately overweight. Same way women want men with muscles and a six pack, goes both ways and is fairly true even at my age. As far as the rest of your list of turnoffs like being intelligent, articulate, sexually open, etc., I don't concur at all with that, based on my experience and the men I know. Not wishing to live together or be financially controlled (do you mean rather financially dependent?), also don't think that applies to most men either on the financial issue. Not wanting to live together probably would be a turn off to most men, but is more common than you think for our age. Last woman I met from online said she felt like you on that and I am not eager to live with anyone soon either even if we clicked and dated for a couple years.Same with women enjoying "manly" stuff like your list of outdoor activities, at least in my area. Those activities are commonly listed by the women's profiles I see on Match and they say they are seeking only men who enjoy lots of those same outdoor activities. I have to believe that most of them are getting lots of interest from men in my area, all other things being equal about these women. As far as wanting women who are strong, independent and not jealous of a man spending time with his male friends while the woman spends time with her gal pals, that describes my one, happy marriage to a T, as well as the male friends I have that are all married. The baldness issue, I covered below, except to say that I don't try to hide mine. I am tall, but even with that I get very little interest from online dating, probably because of my baldness, build, and how I dress, I don't look that impressive in my pics. I totally agree with you about how superficial online dating is and how much the profile pics determine a huge amount of how much interest you get from other people, at least to start with, on dating sites like Match. It goes both ways tho, in my experience, and women can be just as shallow about it as men when it comes to screening completely on looks without giving any real thought to whether the rest of someone's profile info is interesting and compatible with them. What is my evidence for that? The fact that in almost two years of online dating, only about half of the women I message even bother to look at my profile after I've asked them to. Why don't they? Because after seeing my main profile pic that accompanies my message, they decide, based on that pic, that I don't meet their standards for looks, so they don't ...

Disclaimer: the following is based on several years of personal experience with online dating and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

You have said so much I will need to read this again a time or two before giving a longer comment, but one thing I will say now is that not all men are able to re-partner in 6 months. I've been trying online dating for 21 months and am still back at square one. Haven't met anyone I saw more than 3 times. Maybe your sample of guys that re-partner that quick as you say are all way better looking than me and/or way more mainstream for their local area in culture and lifestyle, which I most certainly am not for my area.

Christian School Teacher, Who Lectured Girls on Modesty, Accused of Sexually Assaulting Students...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

She even looks like a fucked up meth addict.

Mazie is snoozing in my chair. I don't think I can use my computer for a while.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

The cats all know they come first.

Well.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

Fucking idiots. I am a former professional driver and very skilled at avoiding accidents, but even I feel often scared about whether I can avoid hitting all the idiots I encounter of the road these days as a civilian driver.

I have a question that maybe you all can help with.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

Stay the hell out of Iowa. Hard to find decent-paying jobs. Too Bible Belt, and Medicaid is not very generous here plus the Medicaid system is now shit thanks to our Repub governor who privatized it.

I Didn’t Die Today, AKA trip to The Badlands of South Dakota.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 4, 2019:

Scary shit. I've survived a couple of severe Iowa snowstorms where I fully expected to die when I was foolishly out on the roads and hoping I did not crash, slide off the road, or get stuck so that I did not freeze to death out there waiting for help. I didn't pray about it, but I can see why believers do in those situations. Never stared down a tornado like you did. That must have seemed very surreal...

I vaguely remember, years ago, having days like this:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 3, 2019:

You can tell this cat is really faking the smile, when inside it probably wants to bite someone. I know the feeling.... glad I am retired....

To fellow scientists: How do you deal with people in social settings that speak with authority ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 3, 2019:

I'm the last one to ask. I still like being right more than being liked. Fortunately, I sometimes find people that are so full of it that I don't want to bother correcting them. I just passively move on and avoid them.

You know, I did not blame ALL men for what went wrong in my marriage.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 3, 2019:

I sure as hell don't want to be hated. I can feel bad about myself just fine on my own without someone bashing me. You seem to be choosing the wrong kind of men if that is your experience. Sorry you have been so disappointed.

Why cat racing is so boring

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Cats would rather stay in the box....it's more fun.

These were some old bands that were popular in the 1980s [youtu.be] [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 2, 2019:

To be honest, I never really liked either band much.

How do you respond when somebody you have never met in person and only exchanged a sentence or two ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Deb- I know from what you have told me about yourself that you have reason to doubt your judgement about men, but in this case the rash declaration from the man that he is honest does sound inappropriate.

Some here, will understand:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 2, 2019:

The cat is Hunter Thompson from Fear And Loathing.....

Has anybody dealt with a passive aggressive partner?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Not in a dating relationship, I wouldn't stand for that shit long enough to end up with that kind of partner. In work situations or in a social group I was part of, you bet your ass I ran across passive aggressive types. They are very common in my area where people play Iowa Nice instead of being honest and direct. Drives me up the wall sometimes.

Tyrion's new favorite place.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 1, 2019:

KItty likes getting his fur dirty. He is really big and has such fluffy fur..

When you feel lost or disconnected, what's something you do to help you feel grounded?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 1, 2019:

I read, listen to music or go sing at karaoke.

Happy Caturday + 1! It's been a particularly entertaining weekend around our place as numerous ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 30, 2019:

That first cat in the photo group looks bad and sneaky.

For you single/dating folks : I've been pondering some past interchanges with potential partners,...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 30, 2019:

In my area, a motorcycle-riding man or woman, esp. a man, would find plenty of interested people on dating sites. I'm surprised that in Florida that's a strike against a woman.

WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER! So I had a desperate thought today.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 30, 2019:

I think you are being way too self-critical. I agree with rogueflyer about you joining some sort of non-believer group or a Unitarian church if they have any in your area. There is nothing wrong with getting some emotional support with what you are going thru with your own depression and the stress of dealing with your mother's problems. As long as you are not attending or joining some Christian church where you would be lying or faking belief to get that support, what is there for you to apologize for or feel bad about yourself for just because you are being honest with yourself about needing more support than you currently have from friends and family?

For you single/dating folks : I've been pondering some past interchanges with potential partners,...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Easy. Almost all of these make finding someone compatible in my area seem pretty impossible due to how far out of the cultural and lifestyle mainstream I am.: Not family-oriented- Meaning, I don't want to spend most of my time with a woman visiting her adult kids and grandkids. Being non-religious- Only about 25% of the women my age in my area will date a man who is not religious. Hate country music,- Only a small minority of women in my area my age do not like country music at all or not very much. Am a non-drinker- Almost all the women in my dating pool on Match are at least social drinkers and want only men that are at least social drinkers. Am childless by choice- Almost all women in my Match dating pool, even the ones who are childless, only want family men with kids. Am not real big on college sports or doing outdoor activities most of the time together with someone. Reason is because I have allergies and don't like bugs or being cold. Most women in my area have college sports as the center of their social life and also want to be outdoors as much as possible. I want someone who is more intellectual than those who make college sports the center of their social life. Watching college sports and drinking while doing it seems pretty immature at my age. Most women in my dating pool are liberal or middle of the road, but my being very liberal or socialist also limits me from being compatible with many women on Match as well, since I could never date a conservative and they would never accept me politically. As you can see, several of these are areas where I am willing to be tolerant and open-minded about dating someone different than me in that area, but that really doesn't matter if that difference is a dealbreaker with the vast majority of women in my online dating pool. Because if they are way in the majority of the culture and lifestyle for my area, they really don't need to be open-minded or accepting of someone who's different in that area when they have so many other men to choose from that are similar to them in that area. In other words, most people are only as open-minded or accepting about differences with others in the dating game as the market forces them to be, since most are not willing to settle for being alone.

Cat sitting sister's felines while she is away.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 29, 2019:

What breed is that?

Orwell’s 1984 no longer reads like fiction. It’s the reality of our times — RT Op-ed

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 29, 2019:

We have been living in Oceania for some time now and I don't see any happy ending occurring in our real life experience of Orwell's world.

We're catifying!! First shelves went up tonight.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 29, 2019:

On the Animal Planet TV show, My Cat From Hell, the cat specialist always recommends catifying the homes of cat owners.

Tyrion decided the tissue box must die. He grabbed it and threw it off the table and ... ATTACK!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 29, 2019:

Cats always have a method to their madness.

Where's your stupid little spray bottle now, Karen?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 28, 2019:

We saw this before in FF group, but I still love it and all the Karen memes.

I'm not smart enough to take sides on this one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Unbelievable, she seems to have the perfect man, at least according to what feminist women say they want, and she is bored with him. The research about women wanting bad boys and sexists over respectful men seems to match what I have seen in my past and current life as a single. She seems to be already at the stage of Gottman's ingredient of contempt for her hubby, which means, divorce, here we come.

Did any one watch Harris destroy Biden during the debate? It was a beautiful moment!!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 28, 2019:

For a moment there, he almost looked like he was going to cry. I was hoping he would and that would have ended his chances for good.

What’s in the mind of a Trump supporter? [psychologytoday.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 28, 2019:

They are a spooky bunch...

NC lawmaker says Lincoln ‘unjustly invaded’ the South, a ‘sovereign nation’

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 28, 2019:

I admit that I have never liked the South of the US and during my life it has been more and more obvious that in the minds of many or most Southerners, the Civil War never really ended, it just continued to be fought using other means such as Jim Crow laws, the Klan, etc.. If the South and their often clownish politicians ever decide again to secede from the US, please let them leave. It would greatly improve our politics and allow way more progress to be made than we have had from having them with us since 1865. As far as the article, this Pittman guy sounds like an even bigger asshole than the notorious Steve King from my state, and that's really saying something. Of course, both are Repubs...

This Group has the most general members, which is why I chose to ask this question here.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Not at all in my area. The UE rate is lower, but I really think from talking to people and what I have read about my state is the reasons are more due to people giving up and no longer looking for work or retiring early out of desperation as soon as they are 62 and eligible for SS. Also, most of the jobs available are low wage, no benefits so they ensure poverty and struggle for those who get them. I see more automation and elimination of jobs at McDonald's and grocery stores and Wal-Mart and Target eliminating cashiers with scanner machines. Welcome to the future......Even in my suburban town, we have more poor kids who can't pay for lunch at school so even my town is now letting all kids that need to eat free for lunch. That would have been unthinkable ten years ago.

How to recognize a good man

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 27, 2019:

This is quite true. It is called rankism, a form of classism, in which someone mistreats or acts out their prejudices on those who are below them in status. People who work in service industry jobs like waitressing know all about it. In the dating game, both men and women are wise to closely observe how their new dating partners treat wait staff or clerks in stores, etc., because it will eventually be how they will treat you in most cases. My recently deceased father was someone I had conflict with for most of my adult life. It was ironic that at his visitation and funeral there were so many complimentary things said about him as far as how he treated his law clerks, friends, and legal colleagues, etc. and also how he was so humble, never complained, etc. But I know better as I remember how he not only was as a father, but how he was frequently such a demanding bully to wait staff at restuarants, because there he saw the staff as inferior servants. It was so bad that a few times I actually got up and left the table after apologizing to the staff about his behavior. My mother and siblings felt the same way, but they usually didn't have the guts to confront him or walk out about it. Ever since those incidents, I have always made sure I treated wait staff and other service people well and tipped accordingly. His case shows how someone can put on a public act and seem like a great guy with their so-called equals, but be a total prick with their perceived inferiors. I've spent plenty of time on both ends of the rankism and classism dynamic and that's why I am so much more aware and sensitive to issues of both isms than most white people. We are all worthy and deserve respect and dignity no matter where we are in the job heirarchy or the economic ladder. Watch out for people in the dating game who are very classist or rankist, because, like my father, they are likely to end up abusive to you as my father was to me, my siblings, and my mother. They will eventually see you as inferior too if you disappoint them very often or stand up to them.

This is a crossover post about politics, religion and dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 27, 2019:

I agree with you, I couldn't. Could I be friends with someone like that, maybe. I have in the past, but only if we avoided discussing those issues, and still, the length of the friendship was limited.

"Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded, because it comprises...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 27, 2019:

The US has been in permanent war since 2001. The world of Orwell's 1984 has been here for quite a while now. "How many fingers, Winston (or Julian, for that matter)?"

You are enough

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 27, 2019:

Sounds a lot like Stuart Smalley from SNL "I'm smart enough, I'm good enough and, doggone it, people like me..."

With these trying times i want to bring up a old 2006) movie good night and good luck about edward ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 27, 2019:

In that same movie, Morrow also warned about how mass media would become propaganda vehicles for the ruling class and demagouges like Trump and many before him, like McCarthy.

I was 13 years old ✌❤

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 27, 2019:

I was 10. My late wife was 26. Go figure.......I heard about it later. She was at Woodstock.

As an Atheist who just turned 40 and is single I am now for the first time really grappling with my ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

I have neither also, welcome to the freaking club. If you are estranged from family, as I and apparently most of us on Agnostic are, your friends are everything. Hope you have some good ones.

Who is planning to watch the Dem primary debates next week?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

Watching the first debate right now. I can't remember the name of the country in The Hunger Games, but we are clearly living in that type of society. The debate looks like the same kind of fucking game show that everything in that movie was as far as politics and government.

Since my wife passed I've met many women but so far nothing clicked.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

Wish I could say I have met many women, like you have. If I had, maybe I would have found someone right for me and be dating now instead of sitting on the sidelines being constantly rejected. I agree with the other guy, this is way too short for it to be a rant.

Rigby surveying his kingdom between shenanigans.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

Rigby is so cute with his innocent " What, me?" look....How old is he?

Since this is a quasi dating site, may I make a suggestion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

You are a man after my own heart. I don't play games either with dating, but it seems like most do. I've been stood up twice in a four month period from meeting women thru Match. Some people just don't have any empathy for how their behavior affects others. Others maybe do, but they rationalize in some sick way that they are entitled to be jerks to the other sex as some sort of payback for how they have been treated by other members of the same gender, which, of course, is bullshit when you do that to someone you don't know at all that is guilty of nothing but being interested in you.

Would Like A Response From Anti Trump Posters

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

I agree with everything said here by Trump's critics about the appropriateness of vulgarity and his deserving of it. I just don't get that involved in Trump bashing because I do my best to not get that focused on him or bitching about him either as I know it won't change anything by itself, that it won't change the minds of any of his followers, that he is really more of a symptom of the fucked up system than the real problem or cause(s), and that venting about him might feel good but is really just preaching to the choir. Like Sticks and others have said, I have talked that way most of my adult life, as do some of my friends, and all of us are way more intelligent and knowledgeable than most sheeple Americans. Just because I have a vocabulary of 10K or more doesn't mean I have to limit myself only to polite language if I am expressing contempt as emphatically as possible or interested in entertaining myself as well as others while expressing myself.

The Cruelty Is the Point - The Atlantic

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

Birds of a feather tend to flock together. Whether it's the sadists that support Trump or the ones in Nazi Germany that enjoyed torturing and killing Jews, they all have the same mindset and bonding over abusing their common enemies.

The Boomers Are to Blame for Aging America - The Atlantic

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 26, 2019:

First off, I am very distrustful of any research funded by The American Enterprise Institute, a conservative, pro-business think tank founded in the 70s and tied to the Repub party. Secondly, propaganda like this is designed to create generational conflict for the purpose of dividing the masses against each other, besides the way they are already turned against each other thru the corporate media on issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, and religion, instead of being focused on their real enemies, namely the 1% and their corporate politicians that serve them instead of the interests of the 99%. I don't buy this generational warfare crap because I am a woke socialist, not a liberal. I have some hope that many of the young also see thru this con too, as they also appear to have realized that socialism is not the scary taboo thing that most older Americans have been conned into thinking it is. And, BTW, any future problems of SS and Medicare being underfunded could easily be solved by removing the cap on taxing earned income, which is currently something like 135K or so per year and making the rich pay the same % of tax on all their income towards these programs, like the rest of us slobs. Studies have already shown this to be the case, but you won't hear either of the major parties propose this, at least not their mainstream candidates, because it would offend their rich donors.

Name Something Christians say when they know they are losing an argument with an atheist.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 25, 2019:

My favorite insult to fling at arrogant, self-righteous fundies who try to bully me is to reply to their whole superiority trip by saying, " You may think that Jesus loves you, but personally, I think you're garbage wrapped in skin".

Who else here lives on a basic income?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 25, 2019:

I get $1400 a month in Social Security benefits, so that is my basic income. I live pretty simply and frugally, always have. I won't say how much I have in savings and retirement funds, because that's nobody's business, but I have enough between what I saved and inherited, that I can supplement my basic income with another $20-25K per year for as long as I'm likely to live. So I am very fortunate on that front. I will never be a high roller or a good target for golddiggers, but I will have financial security as long as SS and Medicare are around. I get the feeling, from having been on these boards a while now, that on Agnostic we have quite a range of members as far as financial status. Lots of people who regularly take expensive vacations to lots of people who are just scraping by. Reflective of America in general, I suppose.

Name Something Christians say when they know they are losing an argument with an atheist.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 25, 2019:

I don't debate them, remembering " Confuse not the minds of the ignorant, they will only hate you for it".

Frederick Douglas, who was once a slave, wrote that slaves were intentionally kept ignorant, and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 25, 2019:

Douglas was the Malcom X of his day, and likely the inspiration for Malcom X. I also agree that radical change in America, at least when it comes to real power, is not going to happen non-violently, much as liberals think it can and will happen that way, because the rich and corporations will never allow that.

I'm categorizing this under Religion and Spirituality for lack of a better one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 24, 2019:

Since I live in Iowa, which is semi-Bible Belt, I have run into this a lot over the years from attending funerals. I guess I just don't get too fazed over it as it seems to be SOP for any Christian church doing a funeral. So I just show up out of respect, love, or friendship with the deceased and blow off or tune out all of the God and Jesus talk. The way I see it, they get to have it their way at their place, I (and the rest of us non-believers) get to have it our way at memorial services for ourselves and our fellow non-believers, whether we have them at a Unitarian church or a funeral home. I feel that when you're a visitor to a foreign or alien culture or tribe, your role is to be a polite, respectful guest and hopefully, but not always, when they are on your turf, their role is the same. In my experience, when believers have showed up at a Unitarian memorial service, they have quickly figured out that the service is secular and they have behaved themselves respectfully and politely, as they realize they are the foreign minority there. They may privately feel the same way as you did about this fundy funeral, but the point is, they didn't raise a fuss about it. The best we can hope for is mutual respect and peaceful co-existence. As long as we are able to honor and celebrate the lives of our loved ones our way when we are the ones entrusted by them to make the service arrangements, why should we care what the believers do in the services they hold for their dead loved ones? I don't.

Sunday schools. Is it a form of child abuse?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 24, 2019:

I've never been a parent and I've never wanted to be one. So maybe I'm not qualified to have an opinion here, but as a citizen and an adult who votes, I don't want to see a theocracy for a government nor do I want a government that bans religion or takes away the rights of parents to raise their kids without religion or with the religion of the parent's choice. We either have a free country or we have totalitarianism. I prefer the former, with appropriate safeguards, of course, to protect children from illness, death or abuse as we already have with child welfare laws, child protective service agencies, and laws to protect kids from being denied medical care by parents who are Christian Scientists or other wacko religions that don't use doctors.

Yesterday's Taboos Now Gone 01.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 24, 2019:

Currently it is taboo to oppose any part of PC, even when it's carried to a ridiculous extreme. Also Boxdoc is right about criticizing or even disagreeing with many feminists gets you labeled as a misogynist.

We can all live without God, but what is one thing you can't live without?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 24, 2019:

Music. If I went deaf, I would probably be suicidal about never being able to hear music again.

Doesn't look like the most comfortable pillow in the world, but you do you, Munchie.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 23, 2019:

Munchie has such great coloring and cute.

Perfect harmony, with a dog.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 23, 2019:

I'd settle for that as long as it was a cat instead of a dog.

Propaganda Is The Root Of All Our Problems [caitlinjohnstone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 23, 2019:

This article says what I have thought and said for many years. The duopoly, as Ralph Nader told us long ago, continues to win as long as most voters stay locked in the two party system. I think that even millions of our eligible voters who no longer vote do so because they have given up hope on voting changing anything and, in that sense, they are more informed, not less, than the average person who still votes and thinks that their votes actually make a difference, esp. in prez elections. The non-voters may well be more "awoke" even if not in a very conscious, articulate sense. Between the collusion of corporate media, the two corrupt major parties who pretend to ferociously oppose each other while behind the scenes they collude and practice Kabuki theater in front of us, and finally the majority of voters who keep choosing the lesser evils of the two parties, both bought off by the same people, we are so fucked.. The only things that would really change this would be a mass rebellion by voters to vote only third party in federal elections and then later for the courts to overturn precedents that equate money with speech, which would finally allow big money to be outlawed from elections and replace it with public financing of election campaigns, something third parties have been pushing for decades.

Elton John's "Rocket Man" movie is a blast. His new "Diamonds" CD of greatest hits is wonderful.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 23, 2019:

I'm looking forward to seeing it soon. I really enjoyed Bohemian Rhapsody and am a bigger fan of Elton than I was Queen. I hope that sometime before I die an equally good movie is made about David Bowie. It's missing some other great songs, like Levon, Burn Down The Mission, Someone Saved My Life Tonight, and Empty Garden.

When a person cannot control you they will attempt to control how others see you.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 23, 2019:

I don't know about people who want to control you, but I do know from group experience that people who do not like you will usually try to gossip and lie about you to others in the group to control how others see you...

Parents brawl over a 13-year-old umpire's call at a youth baseball game - CNN

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 22, 2019:

Scratch deep enough into a group of middle-aged fathers raging at a youth sports event and undoubtedly you will find some former jocks who are still trying to live out their fantasies of athletic glory thru their innocent kids. I can only imagine how embarrassing it's got to be for those kids to see. The sad part is that often the kids of those parents are removed from the team for the sins of the parent.