Look out 😊

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 28, 2019:

Reminds me of some small cats I've seen that will slap the shit out of much bigger dogs...

Said goodbye to my dad for the last time today.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 28, 2019:

I'm glad you have a close relationship with him and got to spend that quality time with him at the end. I can relate, after my late wife's dementia and my own father being 90 and in bad shape these days. He is on his last legs too now, I think, and my siblings and I are tag-teaming on visiting him in the hospital recently. Hospice may be in my father's future soon too.

Well that'll do it I suppose Christian Teacher Ended Her Husband’s Porn Habit… By Shooting ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 28, 2019:

Somehow this happening in Arkansas is no big surprise and somehow I don't think the devil made him do it or God made her kill him. I can share a personal experience related to this. My evangelical sister and her also, but maybe not as equally religious hubby almost came to breaking up many years ago after he developed an online porn addiction, which she discovered when he got caught using his workplace computer for it at his government job, which he got fired from after being caught by the employer. I'm guessing his being caught was more a measure of the degree of his addiction rather than how stupid my brother-in-law was to try doing that on a govt. work computer after it was common practice by then for employers to have zero tolerance and constant monitoring for that kind of misuse of govt. computers by employees. They did not divorce, but my sister did consult my father, a judge, about her options concerning divorcing her hubby and she did share about this with all of her siblings. But in the end she chose to force him into counselling with her and getting help for his own issues. What's funny is that both of them had been critical of me for my employment problems around that time in my life and had been unsupportive, but after my brother-in-law got rightly fired from his job, he was out of work less than a couple weeks before his work friends found him a similar, equally-paying govt. job in their same city. And I got flack from them both for losing a job when the employer closed my location and I was out of work for 6 months while I looked for work. I guess it all depends on who you are and who you know as to how innocent and worthy you are in those situations........

I have a buddy I was in Vietnam with.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

It's sad that he got suckered into the Trump camp and drank the kool-aid, causing him to backslide into being racist again. I'm not a vet, so I can only go by what I have heard and imagine how tough this is for you to discover and deal with, but I imagine that vet bond would be tough to let go no matter what. I'm sure you will be ok with whatever you decide. You have my sympathy.

i just need to vent, i have been attempting to meet people on a dating site, POF, i have a profile, ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

Thanks for maybe saving me some time Carla. Another member on here, Rob, just suggested that I try POF after I have been on Match for 19 months and still haven't met anyone to date romantically yet. In fact I only met 6 women in person so far. One of the biggest reasons is that only about 25% of the women my age in my area are even open to dating someone non-religious and even fewer of them than that are non-religious themselves. After hearing your story the only reason to try POF is that it's free, unlike Match, but likely to have a much smaller dating pool in my area for my age than Match, plus it's likely to have mostly the same women as on Match. I don't get stoned, or even drink, but I do read books and watch too much TV, besides hanging out on Agnostic, so I can relate and I feel your pain. Jesus H. Christ, Carla, you live in Austin, for crying out loud, there have got to be plenty of non-believer hipster guys your age there. I envy your location, compared to Des Moines, Iowa. Way more hipsters per square mile. I agree with your bio that we are both very rare birds as Agnostic hipsters, but your odds seem much better for finding someone compatible than me here among all these farmer's daughters, lol. If you lived in my area, for what it's worth, I would definitely want to meet you.

A great love song. Ben Folds - The Luckiest. [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

I love his song Brick, even tho it's pretty dark stuff about abortion and the dissolving of a relationship. Says video unavailable.

Very inspirational :)

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

I get tired of all the sappy inspirational memes that get posted on this site, so this one was just the change of pace for my jaded, twisted sense of humor! Thank you lee man, you made me laugh out loud and made my day.

Got a new tee shirt...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

I have mixed feelings on this. My default and initial stance is, like Dalton( Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse) to always be nice, until, like he says in the movie, it's time to not be nice, which is usually soon after someone disrespects me or acts like a jerk to me. Then I go into my other mode, which, is to be confrontive and let them know how I feel about their behavior, with as little cussing as I can hold myself to. Without ever being threatening or violent, but often with a clear message of anger at how they have acted.

Hi Folks, w I've noticed lots of angnst with on line dating, even just on line chatting.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

Good luck with that. While I don't close the door on meeting someone organically offline, I don't make an effort to look for or to meet women that way, because I know the number of opportunities and the depth of the dating pool thru that are both so limited. So instead I put my effort and hope pretty much into online dating because it has a way bigger pool of women who are presumably all available and looking, unlike the mixed bag of offline opportunities to meet women, where you don't know who is available and looking at all, or at least not very easily. And being very far off the mainstream culture and lifestyle for my area, I need the biggest dating pool possible to have any chance of reaching the 2-3% of women that would be compatible for me from my area.

Hmmm...interesting observation. It made me laugh, anyway!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

I'm very impatient about some things, more patient than most on some other things. I also have never grown or wanted a beard. What does that say about me?

We're on a road to destruction if we don't make changes.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

I agree with most of what you posted here, esp. about the purposes of the site and how politically conservative members are likely to feel outnumbered and marginalized on here. However, as a socialist, I am not going to mute or change what I post to appease them. I don't know how to change that phenomenon about this site. As for status updates, I think that is an interesting idea and I hope it would help humanize each other as a community. At the same time, I hope these status updates would usually be more meaningful and deeper than the usual FB types of status updates which are so inane, trivial, etc. such as talking about the weather or mentioning that they are at Walmart, etc. If people actually did emotional check-ins, like in a support group, or shared what just happened of real importance in their emotional or personal life, then, yeah, I would be interested in that. Sort of the same appeal as the reality TV show that was the story in The Truman Show. Only maybe not as manipulative or exhibitionistic.

Ours just snore:

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

My neighbor's cat snores, but she rarely meows or makes any other noises.

They do not like the black sheep, and the black sheep could care less . . .

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 27, 2019:

Regardless of grammar, the point of the quote is very often true and describes my family of origin and my old role in it to a T.

Another view of three of four of Spot’s kittens at two and half weeks!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 26, 2019:

They are all so cute. Makes me wish I could visit them.

GOP introduces plan to massively cut Social Security

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 26, 2019:

Two reasons why it's no longer off limits for cuts. One is the impact now of all the Boomers retiring. The second is the capture of the Dem party by the rich and corporate America. They no longer give a damn about the poor, working class and middle class anymore, so they and the Repubs can both ruin SS using kabuki theater pretending that one party is pushing it and the other pretends to resist while both of them are on the same page. Without the credible threat of a third party or an actual Bernie presidency, I think SS will be gutted soon.....

Two new moderator features for groups: "Most post to author's profile page" and "Deny Post".

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 26, 2019:

Good luck with that. You have have a lot more faith in human nature than I do. Same thing with feeling you can trust all the group moderators to be fair with all members. Now watch everybody feel they have to walk on eggshells instead of being honest or outspoken. It was nice while it lasted....The mutual understanding is that the mods have all the power and the other members must toe the line, that's the only thing mutual, certainly not the power situation. If someone gets treated badly by a mod they will have to leave the group and start a competing group on that topic. We already have too many groups, but it will get even worse.....But at least general forum is back, so people can post and comment there without any tyranny of group mods there. Thanks for that....

What does everyone think of the Satanic Temple being granted tax exemption as a church recently?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 26, 2019:

I see it this way, the Christian Bible says" Want of money is the root of all evil". And all of us in America are well aware of how what most Americans really worship, is money, rather than God. Hence, if what most Americans actually worship is something the Bible says is evil, why shouldn't a Satanic church while openly worships evil not get the same tax breaks as Christian churches? Some twisted irony going on with this, but that's how I think and roll........

Belief is the death of intelligence do you agree?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 25, 2019:

Not at all. I have known many intelligent believers. We just don't see religion the same way, but often agree on many other things. I think the Wilson quote is a little bigoted.

Why Is It Difficult to Get Christians to Care About the Earth? | Sojourners

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 25, 2019:

Some do because they believe in being good stewards of the earth God gave them. Others really don't care because they are hardcore believers in Armogeddon and thus are just waiting for that to happen or them to die so they can see Jesus. To them the planet and environment are temporary anyway and don't matter.

This has most likely been discussed multiple times, so apologies for creating yet another ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 25, 2019:

You are young and very articulate, also, I assume, in good physical health. I have been where you are and, even now there are some days I think about the same stuff. But you need to seek help and ride it out, as the other commenters have said. There is always the potential of more people and positive things coming into your life. Keep making some efforts each day and don't get focused on looking further than that. I wish you well.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Step 1: Call yourself the “Grim Reaper for socialist legislation”...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 25, 2019:

Always hated this guy. I know it's not PC on this site to put down someone's looks, but to me he's always appeared to be a cross-breed of a turtle and a jackass, with a personality that matches....

What type of lover do you want?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 25, 2019:

I once had a brief fling with a much younger woman that was Agnostic and progressive on some issues of identity politics, but Libertarian and conservative on economic issues and abortion. I was much younger then and had not yet met my wife. It was probably the closest thing I've ever had to a FWB, but I felt some romantic things for her, tho I doubt that was mutual. Never again with someone who is conservative or Libertarian. She was probably a hedonist or sensualist.

Yes, we removed the general forum.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 24, 2019:

Unless it's a typo or I'm misreading your post, admin., what you seem to by saying with this decision is that now all the moderating will be done at the group level rather than the site level. What this change does is give almighty power to the group moderators to act like petty tyrants, which some of them are, to not only delete posts they don't like, but, more often than not, go for the simpler and more severe option of kicking out the member. So with the new system the only way for a member to see posts and comments from a variety of members on a given topic is to join every group related to that topic and hope they don't offend any group mods and get kicked out for anything. Of course, they could start their own group on that topic, but today I browsed thru all the groups and we already have way too many groups, many of them with small memberships and not a lot of activity. Few people are going to settle for that or bother with all that searching to find new posts and comments. Too much work now for the user members.

I used to think christian music stations were just idle attempts of recruitment but after working as...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 24, 2019:

I can't stand country music, but, interestingly enough, I still get out my old Christian rock/pop records and play them, even tho I ignore the lyrics and my late wife never wanted me to play that music around her. I still like hearing the music sometimes because the singing and melodies are so great and the music is usually upbeat and joyful. I'm talking about The 2nd Chapter Of Acts, Barry McGuire, and Keith Green, for example, 70s Christian music. I need the upbeat music. I also still think Bob Dylan's first Christian album was great stuff, one of his best, even if I don't buy a lot of the lyrics.

I dont like kissing. It feels and looks stupid. Anyone else feel this way?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 24, 2019:

I love kissing as much as sex, at least with the right woman I do....

To improve his hearing!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 24, 2019:

That cat looks so angry.

Today I learned my best friends fiance violently hates me and has said he refuses to have me at ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 22, 2019:

My family learned the hard way with my niece that when someone is in love with a person as well as the lifestyle that the person seems to promise them, that love is blind, deaf, and dumb. My niece fell in love or whatever with a much older man who already had kids from a previous marriage. He presented himself as being rich and he was handsome and well-mannered when I met him once, but my father was quickly skeptical of this guy due to his age and being divorced while my niece was just out of college and in her early 20s when she met him. My father doubted that he had the amount of money that he implied he had or that this guy was serious about ever marrying my niece. But her parents were quite taken with this guy for a while, until the engagement he said he wanted with her kept being postponed.. Long story short, my father was right and he turned out to be a bum and a fraud who really wasn't wealthy and he kept stringing my niece along about the engagement. So for a few years after she got out of college and turned down a job offer from a firm that would have put her thru grad school for an MBA on their dime, she spent those years instead traveling with this guy and living the high life off of her savings. He dumped her right after she ran out of money and after she had thrown away her whole undergrad degree and career chances. By this time her parents had already come around on this guy, but it was too late for even them to reach her. She is now living in Hawaii I hear and has little contact with her parents, who are ashamed of her and estranged from her as well. Too bad nobody like you, Lady A, had gotten medieval on this bum before she ruined her life. The silver lining is that at least she didn't get knocked up by this bum...

LDR (Long DIstance Romance) tell me your personal experience of the positive ones ONLY! I have one ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

I am curious what your purpose is in only hearing positive experiences. Are you trying to get up the courage to attempt another LDR? I can't offer you anything on that because I have never really attempted an LDR and am not willing or interested in attempting one ever in the future.

Go back to college? Hmmmm.....

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

I barely ever dated in college. Combination of being very serious about my studies and not having much confidence with women. The fact that I was never a big drinker may have also been a factor. Frank's advice may likely only apply to the more cool and better-looking guys than to me.

Another Saturday night, with what ever goes with that! [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

And I ain't got nobody. And haven't for several years. Actually the song was written by Sam Cooke.

Don't get worked up over things you can't change or people you can't change..........Agree/disagree?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

Easier said than done, but it is the right path and better for my health, physical and mental. I really don't care about being liked or accepted by most people as long as I have the support and acceptance of my friends. They are my substitute family, so I don't need the rest of the world. But I know myself well enough that I will need another partner or at least women to date some of the time if I am ever going to be as happy again as I was during most of my marriage.

15 ways to keep a relationship working ❤

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

Pretty much common sense. By the end of my marriage, I had already learned all that. My challenge now is meeting someone that is compatible and will give me the chance to practice all those things again. It's looking pretty unlikely. I just started working with a dating and relationship coach and I think it's going to be a waste of money and time as she immediately seems to want to focus on and mostly work at trying to charm school me about being more positive in general with other people over disagreements and misunderstandings, look at my expectations with others more realistically or differently, etc. Sounds to me more like trying to get me to settle in relationships, put up with more shit from people, and be ready to be more accepting of being alone either long term or permanently, learning or agreeing to accept single life more, etc..I really doubt that working with her is going to help me successfully meet someone that is right or do better at online dating. She is going to help me revise my Match profile and maybe improve my messaging with women on Match. But I doubt she will be able to help me overcome the numbers game that's against me in my local area on Match when I am a rare non-conformist, Agnostic, non-drinker, not country music-loving, not very family- oriented person when 97% of the profiles on there are women who are non-compatible or non-accepting on at least one or more of these traits, usually three or more of them.

So.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

I feel so rejected and out of the game since I joined Match, that if a woman were going to flirt with me she would have to practically start touching me or proposition me before I would pick up on it...

As I prepare for a new relationship...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

As least you are more honest about it than most of the women's profiles I encounter on Match.

The elders of this church got to design the church league softball shirts.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2019:

That is just too funny! Or maybe my mind is just too twisted......

Anyone can be had (sexually) given the right time and circumstance. True or not true??

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 20, 2019:

I'd say not true. I have met some people who have exceptional integrity and restraint.

How can we encourage people to be more honest about their agnosticism?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 20, 2019:

Same as what worked for the queer community, by being honest, open and authentic about who we are whenever possible. It models for others and encourages them. The more positive visibility we get, just as gays and lesbians got, the more acceptance and less stigma we will have with the public.

Estranged from family members... anyone experience this?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 20, 2019:

I think I started a thread about this a while back and seemed to get a lot of agreement from other members about being estranged from family. This is probably my # 1 dealbreaker that I run into with women from Match in my area, because everyone claims to be so damn family oriented and 75% also identify as Christian. If you do not have kids and are not very family-oriented, almost no women in Iowa will accept you for dating. So when you are a non-believer, don't have kids, AND don't claim to be very family-oriented, everyone automatically sees a red flag and assumes the worst, like that you are an abuser, a criminal black sheep, etc. Everyone assumes that you are defective and untrustworthy because you are so different from their experience and the norm. When in fact, the truth for most of us, and me specifically, is that the estrangement comes from three things. One, the rest of the family remain believers, or at least claim to be out of the desire to conform to mainstream norms. Two, we get tired of the bullshit behavior of other family members, call them out on it, set boundaries, and end up having little or no contact with them. Three, most of us non-conforming non-believers have a very different set of values from our parents and siblings. In my case, I value relationships, integrity, and being truthful over appearances, money, career success and achievements, and conformity to the mainstream. I am also very non-materialistic. These are the reasons I separated from my family, who were not emotionally supportive and accepting of me as an adult and replaced them in my life with longtime friends who do accept and support me as well as share my values. Because all of us on Agnostic are non-conformists in at least one or more ways, I will also bet that as a group we have a much higher % of members who are childless by choice than the general population of the US. That issue would be another interesting thread by itself.......

Just to Note: I think I was just Blocked by someone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 20, 2019:

Don't worry about it Deiter, move on. You've already proven yourself with me, for what it's worth, as a good person and one of the most interesting and worthwhile people on here. Who cares about how big an audience you have here on the boards? I don't and neither should you. Some people get us and some don't. That's why I don't care who blocks me or not. I post comments on these boards to get things off my chest, and interact with others each day at least some thru this site, since I don't get enough of that offline IRL. I also am always learning new things from these discussions, such as new terms, what's going on in politics and the pop culture, what's going on with younger people, etc. You're still the man to me, along with Sticks of course....

BUTTIGIEG IS FULL OF SH-T -- Seeing as how PB is surging in the polls based, I believe, on ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Mayor Pete is being promoted by the corporate media and the Dem party's leaders and establishment as the golden boy because it's all part of a move by those groups and the Dem's big money donors to stop Bernie at all costs without having to kill him or attack him directly. So, yes, there is nothing progressive for real at all about Pete, he's just being promoted as such by himself and those groups I mentioned to try to confuse primary voters about if he's much like Bernie or not and maybe peel some support away from Bernie. Real progressives won't fall for it because they know that anyone who accepts money from big donors can't be trusted, including Warren. But many potential primary voters aren't so smart about that, unfortunately, and that's who this is aimed at.

So what should an atheist do if being sworn in for a testimony in court?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

I doubt I will ever be called to testify, but if I was I would decline the Bible swearing in, saying I am not a believer in religion, say that I am the son of a judge (which is a matter of public record) and because of that I believe in telling the truth and respecting the integrity of the courts. They can then believe me or not, I really don't care what they think about my unbelief in deity. I should add tho, that if it were in a case in which I had a personal stake, like testifying in my own defense or in a lawsuit in which I was a party, I might just not make a fuss of it just so the jury wouldn't be biased against me and cause me to get screwed by their prejudices against non-believers. I was talking originally about cases where I would be called as a witness in a criminal case or subpeonaed to testify.

Hey, happy Friday night wishes to everyone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Too far back for me to remember, honestly....

Do age gaps matter to you?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Age is less important than other compatibility factors, including level of health and fitness, which can vary widely between people of the same age due to lifestyle and genetics, as well how how young their thinking and interests are. Most people my age in my area want to spend their time watching sports either at the game, in the bar, or on the couch or having parties with friends and family, maybe playing cards too with family and friends. I'm not interested in those things at all. I would rather be out hearing live music, singing karaoke, attending a poetry slam or live theater, maybe a trivia event. All of these types of interests seem to attract younger people who are hipsters rather than folks my age. I wonder what the nursing homes, retirement communities, and senior centers will be like in ten-20 years when I am the same age as most people who hang out in those places? Will they have rock music playing in the background as well as when live performers come in? Will there be trivia events or karaoke instead of card games and bingo? I hope so, but hopefully I will be healthy enough and involve enough with a partner that I don't have to be there or care.... One thing that I know will never change at those places from now, at least in my area, is that there will always be country music (which I hate) which will be played at least some of the time, as well as religious music and worship services being offered at the nursing homes and retirement communities for those that seek it out there. The country music will probably be played even in settings where residents have to choice but to be there, like at meals.

I'm a substitute teacher.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Glad I am retired, so I can say, believe and live whatever way I want to within the law. I got so sick of how freedom of speech and belief had to be checked at the door of every job.

Anyone in Tulsa, OK? I’ll be there Sunday.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Must be visiting the one Unitarian outpost of sanity in the middle of Jesusland......

When I was small, growing up on a Haiti mission in the 1950s and 60s, we children sometimes played ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

If I had your psychic ability I would use it to track down the one or few people in my area that were compatible for me to date and mentally influence them to want to meet me. By that logic you should already have found your match(es).

Do age gaps matter to you?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

8 years younger would be fine and mean nothing to me, but, at least in my area on Match, almost no women will date a guy 8 years older like me (I'm 60). And also in my area, where almost all the women are so family-oriented, even the ones without kids, that not being interested in kids, like me and you, is usually a dealbreaker with any of the women. I'm guessing the men are not so rigid about having kids. In fact, almost all the women my age on Match are looking only for men who already have kids, even the ones who don't have kids themselves. The childless by choice lifestyle is very uncommon here, more rare than gay and lesbian people, not that that's a lifestyle, just a comparable demo group. I feel your pain, but if I were you I wouldn't be put off by eight years on all men. There are some rare ones like me that are childless by choice and still pretty mature for their age. I was back then, but none of the women who had kids or wanted them would give me a chance then. Met my late wife when I was 37 and finally found a match in someone who was much older than me, had no kids and didn't want them, and wasn't close to her family. But she was like the needle in the haystack for women in my area. She was 16 years older than me and we had the same level of maturity and energy, so it worked. You live in Ohio, so you probably run into all the same dealbreakers as me regarding culture and lifestyle, since the Midwest is about all the same.

Just to Note: I think I was just Blocked by someone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

According to my current count, I have now blocked 11 people and am probably blocked now by at least half that many or more. I really no longer care about either of those things. I have strong opinions and I state them on the boards without mincing words. Nowadays, on Agnostic, it seems like many people cannot stand to have disagreement with others without going into attack mode and getting personal about it. When someone does that to me or seems to be showing up on thread after thread with me and appearing to be trying to pick a fight with me and criticize me as well as my opinion every time, I consider that person a troll who is just trying to bully and harass me. So I block them. They all know who they are, even tho they can't read this. I think I have a lot of company on this site as far as these experiences. I don't know what the answer is to avoid or reduce this trend, because these boards should be about open and honest sharing and even debate, as long as there is not harassment, abuse, or personal attack involved in passionate argument, debate, or disagreement.

I've been signed up for cryonic suspension with Alcor for over 15 years.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

The future looks pretty bleak for us humans, esp. in the US, that I really don't want to be around when the shit really hits the fan, if things don't radically turn around very soon. And I'm not just talking about climate change. I can see conditions like the movie Soylent Green beginning before the end of my natural lifetime, so I don't want to be around for more than another 15-20 years if I'm right about this, regardless of my state of health by then. As Krushev once said about nuclear war, The living will envy the dead... If so, I don't want to be around to see it. On top of that, I don't feel I am so important or special that I need or deserve to be preserved or pass on to a future world after my natural death thru freezing or cyberspace. In the end, I'm no different than any other animal that exists and dies on this rock and should just pass into the dust. Which is also a reason I believe in cremation with no burial or storage of my ashes. Once everyone who knew me is dead, I too am gone for good and it really doesn't matter where my ashes went after that. No different at that point from some animal that lived and died in the wild.

The single life be like....

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

I guess I'm too old to get the phrasing, Alone But Skilled. I am familiar with what Photoshop is.

Great concept.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Nice wish.

The joys of dating. 😞😝

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Try it when you are 60. There do seem to be a lot of damaged goods and leftovers.

I haven't been here much lately.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

How did you meet him, on Agnostic? I would be very surprised if you did. Is he long distance or local? Seeing your location on your bio, I'm guessing he is LD and from Agnostic. His traits are so offbeat and rare among the general pop,, it sounds like you found a unicorn.....In my local area, someone with those traits would be a unicorn....

It was a trap, one of 'em even started PURRING as I came in for the shot! Resistance was ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Such big ears all...

A moral question- Should I do work for someone that has ties to the kkk?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I hear you man, and sometimes you do what you have to do. I remember one time when I was underemployed and really desperate to find a job with benefits and better pay before I got too old to get another job in the college town labor market I was living in. I was really faced with a dilemma of having to get another job soon that was better or else settle for looking in a different city without a college town labor pool and commuting to work down there for work. I saw an ad for a small family business that produced a medical product for horses that provided benefits and better pay. I answered the ad and interviewed for it. I found out the catch was that everybody there, including the owners who also ran the place, were all Bible thumpers, who would even pray together when they ate lunch as a group together each workday. NFW could I stand working in that social environment, so I wrote the person who interviewed me an apologetic letter turning her down on the job and saying why. I also called after mailing the letter and told her on the phone that I was bowing out of the process and that she would be getting a letter explaining it. What's funny is that after she got the letter, she actually called me, somewhat defensive, and instead of thanking me for being honest about being Agnostic and not wasting their time further, she said that they would have found me out on my lack of religion really soon anyway and that I was being somewhat dishonest to have applied there in the first place. WTF? I told her that nothing in the ad said their business was a Christian business and how am I as a non-believer supposed to know which businesses are " Christian" and which are not? I told her maybe they need to put that in their job ads, but that if they did they could maybe get sued for religious discrimination. This was over 15 years ago. Sometimes you have to draw the line about who you can stand to work with when their values are so different than your own, but one thing I know is that it would be very difficult to fake it and pretend to fit in when the people you work with are racists or Bible thumpers.

Make America what again?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

As I said on another thread, the real slogan of MAGA is Make America White Again, but they're just too damn polite to come right out and say it.........But after more than three years, I think most people have figured it out or got the memo by now.....

My new Cat Shirt. As you can see, Pixie seems to like it...I think ;)

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Really cute.

Strong women and men don't the victim.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I totally agree. I own my choices and mistakes, but I also don't take shit from anybody that's undeserved. And I do believe in giving back to assholes that dish it out to me, as well as getting even, within the limits of the law and protecting my own safety.

[heyalma.com] My date with a Jewish doctor went horribly wrong. A funny story.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

My take? Too many women go gaga over the idea of dating a doctor or lawyer because they make big bucks and have a high status job, so they date them over guys that don't have those kind of jobs and bucks, but might actually be more compatible and treat them better. But at least in this case, the woman came to her senses and got over her infatuation with the guy's profession and ethnicity, altho by then he had already dumped her and beat her to the punch. I give her more credit than a lot of women, who, if the guy doesn't dump them first, will put up with a lot of crap from a doctor or lawyer just to be with someone who has that kind of bucks and status, even if the guy is abusive or cheats on her. I see those arrangements as a form of prostitution-lite or sugar daddy, but that's just me..... And yes, gang, I know it goes both ways. Most guys will put up with about anything to date or be with a woman who is an 8 or a 9 just for the sex and the status of being with someone great-looking. People make their bargains, consciously or not, and get in the end what they deserve in those cases, at least in my eyes.

PRO-BERNIE -- THIS'LL MAKE YOU MAD -- I love Bernie.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Mayor Pete is the same old BS of the Dem establishment, namely pushing candidates and policies that are all about identity politics and no progressive policies on economic fronts or on inequality. So Pete is a religious gay man, big deal. I'm not surprised, in fact, I've been telling people for the last two years that after Hillary, what else would the Dem establishment have left to try to distract us with identity politics candidates? I said it would be a gay male Hispanic. I wasn't that far off...... Guess you don't have to be paranoid when they really are out to get you.....It really is this simple, if the Dems nominate Bernie, he will beat Trump, unless the Dem leaders sandbag him the way they did McGovern by not supporting him in the general election of 1972. If the Dems instead nominate a centrist candidate instead of Bernie, they will lose. Their choice in nominee will tell you everything you need to know about the priorities of the party leaders, whether it's preventing progressive candidates and policies, or whether it's instead about winning prez elections. I already know it's about the former, it's just that this time the corruption will be so clear if they screw Bernie again that nobody will be fooled about what happened...

People always say, "rest in peace" but why the hell can't we just live in peace?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I like the phase used by the Black Lives Matter movement, " Rest In Power". But then again, that phrase is only used for those who are martyred.

... and I do them very well! 😼

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I love seeing evil cats online.

One of my coworkers told me about a dating site called The Hinge? Anyone used it or heard of it?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 17, 2019:

Too youngish for me....Think I may have already heard the name before, nothing else about it.

Are you a ritual defier?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 17, 2019:

I really don't notice or care about trivial things like that. I probably do a lot of things in the course of a day that are done in a ritual manner of the same way every time, but I'm oblivious to it.

Agree or disagree?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 17, 2019:

Would be nice, but it now seems pretty unlikely. Seems like few singles take the opportunity after a divorce or breakup to get some counseling or therapy so they go right back out to the dating market without taking a look at themselves, learning anything new about themselves or how to treat others, or changing to become more kind or sensitive. So that's why we get what we get on dating sites. My guess is there's an epidemic of thinking that the problem with the relationship was all the other person and having the wrong partner. At least, going by the essays in the profiles of the women I see on Match, that attitude seems to be extremely common. I would love to see and would jump at the chance to message a woman who actually admitted in her essay that she has baggage, learned from her divorce and got some therapy or counselling, but in 18 months on Match the most I have ever seen of that kind of thing in an essay was someone admitting they have baggage, and it was very rare, maybe one in a couple hundred or so, that I even saw that.

Just in case someone was wondering what it looks like when you fracture 4 vertebrae and then have to...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 16, 2019:

Jesus Christ that looks brutal. I hope you are better now with it done.

I really don't get it.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 16, 2019:

When I look at that photo of those fools in their sheets and uniforms, it really does smack of Forrest Gump's saying, " Stupid is as stupid does"..

What is the proper wait time etiquette when hooking up with someone who your friend likes?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 16, 2019:

I'm not qualified to answer as I'm twice your age and I don't do hookups, I do relationships that include sex later, rather than at the beginning... To each their own.

Are you happy?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

No, I'm not. I'm actually worse than when I was watching my late wife suffer and die because back then I at least had some hope that I would meet someone else later and had more support in my life than now from friends. Now that I've been widowed two years and been alone for that long, my friends are now seeming burnt out on supporting me. Also, when my wife was suffering and dying, I knew that an end would eventually come to that process of her disease, but as far as this being alone for the rest of my life, there's no end in sight. So it's worse than being the caretaker spouse of someone with a terminal illness.

The site is called agnostic.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

I agree with much of your post, but next time, please try some paragraph breaks. It will make your post more understandable and encourage more people to read you, which I hope they will, as you are intelligent and with much to say.

The Alberta election is making my head hurt. No real good choice,

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

In my state, as well as the US as a whole, every election at the statewide or fed level of office is always about the lesser of two evils.

I'd take her home in a minute!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

That cat is so unusual looking, but still cute.

Oh, I think its definitely spiritual.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Yes, all of it is, even country music. But I still hate it. Just too alienating for me. Willie, Johnny Cash, and The Dixie Chicks were the only country artists that I respected or could ever like any of their music. And that is because, unlike the rest of country artists who march the whole party line of being blindly patriotic, right wing, anti-intellectual, anti-gay, militaristic, etc., these people were thinkers, embraced diversity and equality, and questioned the status quo. But they are very rare exceptions that do not make the rest of the country music crap palatable for me. What was done to The Dixie Chicks proves my whole point about how fucked up the values, message, and industry of country music are as a whole. It showed how free speech and questioning the status quo are not allowed. Country music also mostly preaches very traditional, stereotypical roles for men and women in relationships, which also nauseates me, along with being so full of glorifying the abuse of drinking and being a simple-minded redneck. Other turnoffs are all the guys wearing stupid cowboy hats as a uniform and both genders usually singing in a very nasal voice with a thick twang as another part of the uniform conformity of the genre. Plus the constant twang in the music behind the singing. Very simple-minded and conformist.

Cute and funny! Watch the cats reaction. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

The tail wagging by the cat shows it's fascinated. I had a neighbor cat for a while that liked to sit on top of the living room couch in front of the window and play peekaboo for the neighbors by going in front of and then behind the curtains.

Name a song that mentions a train. I'll go first. This Train is Bound For Glory - Woody Guthrie.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Looks like my comment disappeared, so I'll post it again. Land Of Hope And Dreams-Bruce Springsteen People Get Ready- The Impressions (Curtis Mayfield's group)

I came across something on a dating site that touched me.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

It is a nice sentiment, but unfortunately in the online dating and offline dating, for that matter, my experience with sharing about the past is that, at least in the early stages, it is used only by the other person to vet you on whether you are worthy of them or whether they should reject you. It is not used to understand how you need to be loved.

Useless Advice on Dating Lately, some have posted about their fatigue and frustrations of being ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Problem is my friends don't have any parties and neither do the groups I attend, so I won't meet anyone compatible that way.

Useless Advice on Dating Lately, some have posted about their fatigue and frustrations of being ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

I met someone like that recently at a stage play. She was one of the ushers and after the show we talked a bit in the theater about the play. We had such a nice chat and I liked her so much I looked her up on FB and sent her a message thanking her for the chat and hoping I would see her at the next show in the season. She sent a friend request and we messaged a little more, but found out she is younger than I thought, too young for me, also not open to dating anyone at this time, and I'm probably not her type anyway. So that ends that. She did say she would keep her eyes open for other single women who are my age and hipster theater types like her and me. But, like I've said before, random chance encounters are not going to get it done for me in meeting someone to date because the dating pool this way is not nearly deep enough for me to find someone compatible that is available.

If you have a wonderful partner......🤗😘

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

This was me and my late wife. Makes me grateful and sad to read this. Where did you find it?

How long into dating someone, do you wait to ask their religious preference?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

With online dating I already know before the first meeting what their religious preference is, they already know that I'm Agnostic or at least that I am Spiritual, But Not Religious, and during our messaging before the meeting it is already discussed if they are a strong believer or not and if they are accepting of my non-belief. The messaging before meeting in person is kind of like a pre-interview for a job.

According to statistics, the average person over 18 consumes 3 alcoholic drinks a week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

I haven't drank alcohol since the mid 1990s, and no, it's not because I'm a recovering alcoholic. So my answer would be no. I have found that in online dating my non-drinking is probably one of the biggest dealbreakers I run into with women, on their part, not mine. Almost all the women's profiles indicate that they are a social or moderate drinker and want a man that is a social drinker, even tho I am fine with a woman who drinks moderately or less, like my late wife. Guess they've never been married to an alcoholic like my late wife was before me. Like Sweeney Todd said, " They will learn..".

Is there a correlation between being a true atheist and abolishing the monogamous lifestyle?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

I just know monogamy is what I want and works for me. Handling and getting along with just one other person is daunting enough. I guess I also prefer the security of monogamy over sexual variety. Everybody's different.

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS! What’s something you love that everyone else hates?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

Hate online dating, but since it's never going to happen with IRL, I have no other choice except to give up and be alone. And I really don't want to do that.

Remember when students put flowers on the end of rifles?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

Would have but I was just a bit too young then.

I was just wondering how many declared "Believers" are really atheists pretending to believe.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

I do think there a lot of "pretenders" out there faking it or posing as Christians (as well as many hypocrites) just so they can fit in with mainstream society and more easily get ahead in employment, business, etc. by trading on the credential of being Christian in the US. It would be hard to measure because it's really hard to get most people to admit the truth about themselves, even in anonymous surveys, if the subject is something they feel shame or embarrassment about, such as being dishonest or lying about their beliefs.

I tell people "oh I'm open to the idea of a relationship I'm not closed off or letting my past ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

Good luck, you may have found the needle in the haystack as far as compatible guys in your not too compatible area. Normally I stay away from looking for dating partners at work, but in this case I would go for it if I were you. Good luck!

Are you one who does this?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Yes if it's something I love.

But Magic is no instrument.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

My late wife loved Buffy Saint Marie. She even preferred Buffy's version of The Circle Game to that of it's composer, Joni Mitchell. Wish you the best to Deiter, you're a good and honest man.

Why is it, all the cool chicks, live so far away?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Same for me on Agnostic. Since I joined two and a half years ago, the site's membership has been very sparse and scattered, at least in the US. I don't see that changing, frankly.

How do you look at yourself?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Because we are social creatures and the opinions of others on how we measure up against others does matter some to us in forming our opinions of ourselves. The older we get, the less it usually matters for most of us, but when we are young and still forming our identities and egos, it does matter a lot.

The face that deserves a boot will be putting his in yours.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

1984 arrived well before that year. Assange will soon be experiencing Winston's life and America's spooks in the CIA and military intel have had Room 101 waiting for him for quite a while.....

Religious People On Dating Websites Are All Like...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Here in central Iowa, most people don't honestly know what Agnostic means, so I don't bother listing myself as that on Batch in my profile. In the checklist of traits part of the profile, one of the categories you can use to ID yourself on religion is Spiritual, But Not Religious. I use that one, which is become sort of the code word on Batch for indicating that either you are not religious or else a non-believer. When you look at someone's profile, you can also see which categories of religious preference they are looking for in someone to date. Only about 25% of the women my age in my area are looking for someone or will accept someone who is Spiritual, but Not Religous. The whole term makes me cringe, but that's how the game is played here. Once in a blue moon I run across a woman's profile on Batch from my area that's my age identifying as an Agnostic, which I'm sure most of the men that see it have no idea what it means and probably don't care as long as she's hot- looking.

Hundreds witness veteran shoot and kill himself in VA waiting room

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

I am not surprised to hear this. If only most Americans knew that for a long time we have had more soldiers dying from suicide than on the battlefield in Iraq or Afghanistan, then maybe all Trump's MAGA crap would not sound so good or credible. Of course the corporate media is pretty quiet, at least most of the time, about this trend. If only they covered it like they did Vietnam, but then again, if they did we would not be over there anymore. That's why after Vietnam the corporate media and the Penatgon fell in line on not showing war the same way ever again.

How (and Why) Americans Were Taught to Hate Atheists

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

I would be interested in polling data that said what % of Americans identified themselves as non-believers, Atheist or Agnostic. I'm guessing the total would still be about 5% or less. I know that in my area most people would still be distrustful or at least uncomfortable with you after finding out you were a non-believer. Only about 25% -30% of the women's profiles I see on Batch indicate that they would be willing to date someone who is non-religious. Most people have always felt threatened or uncomfortable with anyone who is non-conforming to the mainstream norms of society, whether it be people who are childless by choice, a different race or non-believers. Most people find the unfamiliar or different in other people scary and we, as non-believers, are still in a place of cultural non-acceptance and non- familiarity that gay and lesbian people were decades ago. Partly because we are, like them, a fairly small % of the society, but also because we are still way less visible or known by most than queer folk.

Alright, I have to earn a place in the queue.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

Salvation won't be on my mind, hoping I'm not in pain, suffering, or alone probably will be.

Hello! Welcome to spinter - spring/winter - or winring?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

I know this is off-topic, but it's too bad we have only handful of members in this group that still actually live in Iowa. It would be nice to have a meetup sometime in Des Moines, but I'm not holding my breath....

PPP.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

A cat or nothing.

I Trusted God To Help Me Pay Back My Student Loans. Spoiler Alert: He Didn’t. [huffpost.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

Should have bought the lottery ticket instead. Might have had better odds...

My latest question to any potential date is "On a scale of 0-10, how religious do you think you are?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

I guess I could accept a woman who was a 5 or less, as long as she expressed the attitude that she was tolerant and independent about doing her church and religion on her time and not on our time together. Of course, if her church was Unitarian, we would go together and share a lot of things in common.

Are you interested in meeting members for dating?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 12, 2019:

Absolutely interested, but have zero hope anymore about meeting anyone close enough to date.