It looks like I have messed up yet again.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 4, 2019:

I can relate to a lot of what you said. Getting to know some of the women on this site thru the discussion boards is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it proves to me that I am not undateable at all, unlike my experience with Match, which only makes me feel frustrated and discouraged about the process of finding someone compatible to date. And I think that is because the vast majority of people on here are very different, mostly in a good way, from the mainstream population of the US, particularly that of my local area. However, that's probably why there are very few active members here from my area, and those that are skew more towards being male. The result is that while the site provides me some validation that I am not undateable and am compatible with a decent number of hipster non-believers, it also probably provides me some false or artificial hope that is not very realistic for finding someone compatible in my local area, where there seem to be very few women my age, at least on Match, who are available and looking to date who share the same qualities as most of the women my age here on Agnostic. And one of those qualities, if the women on Agnostic are being honest here on the boards, is that they are more open-minded and less shallow about looks than most women on sites like Match. It almost feels torturous at times. I don't blame this site for my frustration, but the difference between it and sites like Match is huge, tho much of that is because this site allows people to get familiar with others more deeply and naturally instead of the very impersonal, competitive, and brief introduction process of the paid sites, as well as the fact that is attracts a very different, non-conformist type of member than a paid site, which will attract more often people who are more mainstream than us in culture and lifestyle.

Ever have a desperate dater? Ugh.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 3, 2019:

Stalker alert.......

Why do you use agnostic.com?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 3, 2019:

It serves some of those same purposes for me too. Yesterday I shared about my father's death both here and on FB. It was interesting to see the differences between the responses on the respective mediums. I got some very sincere, touching responses on FB, but I think the ones on here were more helpful, meaningful and comforting, probably because the commenters on here share my non-belief and are more honest and outspoken.

I am sure there are more out there! I still have hope.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 2, 2019:

With your looks and personality, you've got nothing to worry about. It will only be a matter of time and numbers....

The artwork of R. Crumb - who else had this album?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 2, 2019:

I do, on vinyl.

Helocopter Parents & Bulldozer Parents cause great damage to their children's ability to function as...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 2, 2019:

I had never heard of the term bulldozer parents. Did the article define them?

I was offered a faculty job in Panama City Fl yesterday.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Good for you, should be somewhat of a cultural improvement for you compared to Kansas. I've heard that about the only cool area of Kansas is the Lawrence area, due to the university there.

Just Change the Key Below, a guy takes minor key metal tunes and converts them to major keys ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 1, 2019:

I guess I would not want the key or mood changed of the music I like. Maybe it's dysfunctional, maybe not, but I don't want my genuine feelings about my situation invalidated that way. Honest feedback from others and taking meds for it are one thing, but denying my reality by altering the mood of the music I listen to is not something I want to change. Maybe varying the mood of what I listen to would help, but I don't want to change the character of the songs that I like and have connected to for many years. Funny thing is, I don't listen to metal at all, never have liked it.

Justice for Cat Raped by Arizona Man [idausa.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 1, 2019:

I guess you can't make this shit up. That guy is one sick puppy (with apologies to puppies) with some very serious issues. I'll need some time to get that described image out of my mind.

Are we living in a cocaine era?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 1, 2019:

I think you are on to something. People's choices of mood-altering chemicals, whether in drinks or in drugs makes a big difference in their behavior, whether these chemicals are legal or not. Social media, the internet, and smartphones are all part of that as well as they affect behavior, personality, and perception of the world as well at the individual, group, and societal levels.

What does “beauty” or “desirability” or “attraction” mean to you?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 1, 2019:

This is a hard thing for most people to be honest about, not me, but most people, because they don't want to be seen as shallow or hurt anyone's feelings. But in doing that, they are actually doing a disservice to others by giving them false hope about how open-minded most people are about looks in the dating game. The last two years have been a real education to me about the dating world after being out of it for almost 25 years. I applaud you, Amy, for posting this subject and being very honest about yourself. I will try to do likewise. When I first started to look at dating two years ago after being widowed, I had a decent amount of confidence in my looks based on my marriage to my late wife and her being attracted to me. But I also admit that before I met her, most of my adult life I did not have great confidence in my looks, even when I had a decent head of hair and was athletic. I thought my looks were still average at best. The last two years I have learned that most women in online dating can be just as shallow as the men are known to be. My confidence in my looks is now very low after the beatdown of all the rejection on dating sites. I have usually had a type or two that I was attracted to based on looks as far as who seemed attractive enough for me to want to approach them or meet them with dating in mind, but that has always been just a beginning part of it for me. Because if they were not also attractive in their personality, easy to talk to, and had some things in common, the looks no longer mattered enough to attract me. Looks do matter at the beginning with someone because I do not want to waste my time getting to know someone that I am interested in for dating if there is no potential for sexual attraction with them on my part. I don't want to disappoint myself or them, which is a real miserable experience if that happens later on after going out for a few times. I have tired of platonic friendship being offered by or accepted by me as a consolation prize after meeting someone and learning weeks later that either I or they had no physical attraction for the other. I have also learned that women that I meet thru online dating feel the same, they are not that interested in making male friends thru that process to keep as friends. What I and they really want is romance, companionship, and eventually sex with someone thru the dating process. Saying that making some more friends thru that process is worth the time and effort is really just rationalization, in my book, in order to not feel as bad about failure in the search.

Help, help!

TomMcGiverin comments on May 31, 2019:

Good one, that's funny.

I'm interested in getting opinions on the places in which you live. Do you love it or hate it?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2019:

I like the Des Moines area of Iowa because there is a lot to do and the cost of living is affordable as well as the traffic not being that bad and crime also not bad either. There is a Unitarian church in the area too if I ever get motivated enough to return to it. The whole problem with living here is that it's very hard to find someone my age to date since almost everyone is Christian, family-oriented, and not many hipsters my age. There are many hipsters in this area if I was young, but not many at my age, so I will probably be alone. If I were younger and not so dependent on my friends while widowed, I would probably move to Portland, OR.

Trump will get re-elected President of the USA.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2019:

I think Bernie would beat Trump is nominated by the Dems, which probably won't happen. If the nominee if Biden or some other centrist, Trump will win again. I am not hopeful about how this will go.

So glad these folks aren’t my neighbors!

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2019:

You live in OK Madison, so I'm guessing these yokels are local?

If you have not figured it out by now . . . .

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2019:

You are correct. They both serve the same masters who want permanent war and continued economic inequality. With the exception of a very few on the Dem side who will never likely be allowed to lead or have real power in the Dem party.

When i was single, and looking to get married, I had certain stipulations that was a deal breaker.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 29, 2019:

I have several dealbreakers, but it doesn't seem to really matter anymore because I am not meeting anyone on Match for the last few months.

WOODSTOCK REMEMBERED I was only 14 15 years old when the hippies came to NY for Woodstock.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 29, 2019:

You are right around my age and look younger than that. My late wife was 27 when she attended the festival. Glad you made it there. She would agree with you that it was worth a lot.

Story of my life lately. What’s yours?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

I can totally relate. I consider it a success if I can get out of bed in the morning and stay out of it until the late evening. Yesterday I forced myself to join a friend at a blues concert and talk to a woman sitting near me that appeared to be single and gave her my phone number after talking a while and confirming that we were both single. I will probably never hear from her, but the whole point was taking the risk and making an effort offline.

This Memorial Day, Let's Learn From Our Mistakes and End Illegal War

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

If you really want to honor and support the troops, living and dead, you work to end the permanent wars for oil, empire and profit. Anything else is just mythology and distraction from the real enemy, as Casey so well puts it. The reactionaries with their Support The Troops bumper stickers can shove it....

A nice relationship story.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

It is well known that long and successful relationships are rare in Hollywood, so I give them props for beating the odds. At the same time, rich and famous people like that live on a different planet than the rest of us, at least as far as I'm concerned, so even tho they are just as human as us, I do not look to them as role models for relationships or really concern myself with their lives and problems. I guess that is why I would not be a good Brit, because I really have little to no interest in what the royalty, real or figurative, are up to in their lives. I'm more interested in my friends and neighbors, real people that are actually part of my world.

Sme question for the ladies - Is this sexy and if so why? [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

Cohen is like Dylan. The beauty is in the poetry of the songs and the heart and interpretation each of these men bring to the songs, even if other people sing them better than them. I like hearing each of them sing their own songs because it gives me more of the original emotion and feeling that inspired the song. Unfortunately Dylan has been unable to do anything but croak for the last few decades, but Cohen could still sing coherently even on his final album.

Due to this morning's empty dish situation....

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

Every cat considers their human staff replaceable.

Is it gone?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

Poor scared kitty.

I saw Cohen in Sheffield 1974 - this guy shuffled onto the stage, dressed in a pullover and trousers...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

I could not date someone who did not enjoy the music of him or Bob Dylan. Like someone who really liked country music, they would be incompatible with me.

Black Dems in vastly white Iowa poised to play 2020 role

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

Iowa has a 3% black population, but last time I checked something like a fourth of its prison population is black. Not a great state to be black in.

[buzzfeednews.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

I'm amazed this kind of thing still happens, but glad that it does. It's also really cool that it happened across racial lines in Georgia.

I am watching vice. Damn I was depressed about trump. This is making it worse.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

Cheney is America's version of Dr. Strangelove, the evil, secretive Nazi genius played by Peter Sellers in the movie of that name. I only hope that the movie Vice pisses Cheney off as much as it was meant to. When he finally dies, I bet his death will be celebrated here by progressives the way Thatcher's was in the UK.

Why is it people that say "I hate mean people, stuck-up people, people who can't take a joke, and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

Projection.

“I’ll show you politics in America.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 27, 2019:

It is. The two major parties perform a version of Japanese kabuki theater between them pretending to be opposing each other while behind the scenes they enact a shared agenda of permanent war, shared rule by the rich and corporations that bleeds the rest of us dry while enriching those groups, and lastly letting the environment decay.

He Pope compares abortion to 'hiring a HITMAN' as he says it can never be condoned With the ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 26, 2019:

This kind of bullshit always sets my mind to hearing Monty Python's song "Every Sperm Is Sacred". Maybe someone will post a link to it on YouTube for those who haven't heard it.

According to this video on preventing workplace violence my entire personality is cause for ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2019:

I can relate. Good thing I'm retired, no one needs to worry that I'll come to work and shoot up the place. It also helps that I'm non-violent and not interested in owning or using guns. I'm being fairly facetious about fitting the profile.......But that's not to say I haven't been in jobs where I fantasized about doing harm to a boss or co-worker, but then again most of us males, at least, have done that. I never fantasized about killing them, just punching them out. I am also only referring to other males.

Pick two..

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2019:

I would be happy with single, smart (not necessarily even well-educated) and average-looking. However, in my local area and age group, those qualities do not seem to come without the woman being a country music-loving, family-oriented believer and not a hipster at all, instead they are mainstream culture and lifestyle, unlike me and my friends.

Do you believe in friendship for no reason?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2019:

I think there is always a reason that we become friends with people, whether it's shared interests, likeable qualities, etc.. It's merely a matter of looking hard enough to see the reason or reasons.

AOC and Elizabeth Warren want you to know that Steve Mnuchin is a total dirtbag.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 24, 2019:

These two women and Bernie are the only ones in congress who will tell the truth about the rich and corporate America, about everybody else is just in politics to enrich themselves and cash in after politics for loyally serving both the rich and corporate America. As Michael Moore used to say, corporate America and the rich are our enemies, anything else like the culture wars, is just distraction away from the class war and to make it seem like the major parties are actually that different. If Bernie were not in the race and AOC was older, they would be a dream ticket.

Pete Buttigieg Ignored Mourning Mother [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on May 24, 2019:

I hope this goes viral and hurts the phony Mayor Pete with black and progressive primary voters in the Dem race. He is no better than Biden and is just in the race to stop Bernie.

Selfishness as a virtue?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 24, 2019:

I chose not to have kids and that can be taken either way, as selfish or generous. The selfish part of it was that I didn't want the burdens that come with parenthood. The unselfish or generous/altrusitic part is that I felt I would be a terrible parent based on what my father was like and the similarities with him that I saw in myself as a young man, so I didn't risk inflicting that on any children. The other unselfish part of being childless is knowing that without children I am likely to be left alone and with no one to look after me when I get older and sick, except for friends and possibly another life partner if I find another one and don't outlive them.

Tribalism: An exploration of the mechanisms that drive tribalism - and that offer a way out of it.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 22, 2019:

Tribalism explains a lot of what is wrong and bad in our politics and our society overall.

Is it a comedians job to be vulgar sometimes?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 22, 2019:

Professional comedians have the terms "working blue" and "working clean" to designate when they are performing for an adult audience that is expecting and ok with some vulgarity, while the other term applies to performing for an audience that is more restricted in what they will accept, like a Christian, conservative, or underage audience of kids, or for a broadcast TV audience where censorship standards don't allow vulgarity.

This is a man sharing his Family Values (Republican) with his wife. [usatoday.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on May 22, 2019:

I'm amazed that the party leader of his caucus is holding him accountable. Being a Repub usually means never having to say you're sorry or be punished for being an asshole. This POS needs to be hung up by his balls. Most likely his wife will forgive him and stay married to him tho. He will make a public show of going to rehab for his drinking so he can prepare for a return to public life, but I really doubt he will get any therapy for his mental health issues.

Having A 'Vent Buddy' Is Good For Your Health

TomMcGiverin comments on May 22, 2019:

I usually do, but I have to be careful not to wear them out. More than once a week is too much for them to handle and I don't blame them for that.

Had a treatment review at hospital yesterday.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 22, 2019:

I'm guessing you're talking about mascular degeneration. My sister in law has that and will be getting those injections too. She really hit the genetics curse jackpot as she will also eventually develop dementia like my late wife. Her lot reminds me that things could always be worse for me, I guess. I admire your attitude about coping with this.

Last time I dated a vegan I lasted about 10 days.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 22, 2019:

Since nowadays many of those who are lefty and non-believers are at least vegetarian if not vegan, with my luck the only hipster single women in my age group that I meet online or offline will be vegan and will also reject me if I refuse to join them in that, which is something I am not willing to do. I am becoming a minority within a minority and it sucks to know that. My only saving grace might be my age, in that most of the vegan women are more commonly in the younger age groups than mine. My observation is that the Unitarians in my area, esp. in Des Moines, are so zealous about being PC that even the women my age at that church are probably all at least vegetarian, so they can fit in and feel comfortable there.

In this panels discussion, Jeff Daniels says it is about race for the Republican Party.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 21, 2019:

No shit. Race has always been used to divide the lower classes, along with abortion, religion, gays, guns, etc. because these all work very well. Both parties use them to protect their wealthy masters among the rich and the corporate world. Otherwise, both parties would have pressure on them to either start fighting for the lower classes against the masters of the major parties or else face defeat by third parties or revolution.

Lemons ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 21, 2019:

Poor kitty. I'd be bummed out too.

Democratic Elite Could Care Less About the Life of the Party

TomMcGiverin comments on May 21, 2019:

This is what I have been saying ever since the DLC moved the Dems permanently to the right, that the Dem leaders really don't care about winning prez elections or getting control of congress, because they and their kids will still do great financially and careerwise while enjoying a very high standard of living and be wealthy. Too bad for the peons who make up their base and are big enough chumps to think the Dem leaders actually care about the middle class and working class. I wised up and quit being a sap who bought their act as soon as I saw Bill Clinton in action as prez and the way he sold out the base as well as the poor. That is also why I have hated both of the Clintons actually more than the Repubs ever since, since they are actually bigger liars and traitors to their base than the Repubs, at least in my book. The Repubs are actually more honest about how they are going to rape the middle and working class, as well as the poor. The Dems lie as well, but sometimes use some lubricant when they go ahead and screw those classes. If, as the article says, the Dem leaders and establishment back an independent centrist candidate (probably Bloomberg or someone like him) against their own party's nominee, should it be, say, Bernie, then the voters will finally see the plain truth of how corrupt and phony the Dems are at the federal level and their party will be ruined for good. Which might be a good thing if it resulted in an actual progressive party finally replacing it as a major party. My guess is, tho, that instead of backing an independent candidate, the Dem leaders and establishment would just quietly sandbag their own nominee and support the Repub candidate behind the scenes. It would be much like a replay of 1972 when the Dems nominated McGovern and then sandbagged him, helping Nixon win.

Cats can be smart (asses).

TomMcGiverin comments on May 21, 2019:

And they say that only dogs are smart enough to learn to do tricks. I always knew cats were as smart as dogs, the main diff being that dogs were eager to please human owners and most cats didn't give a damn as long as their needs were being met.

[anticap.files.wordpress.com] And the Dems will have to fix it? Really? That is what they do?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

Just further proof that the Dems and Repubs are really the same party when it comes to the rich, corporations, and economic policy. Neither one really gives a damn about the common people. They just play kabuki theater over the issues that really affect the common people and pretend to be different on those issues, like war, the environment, taxes, healthcare, the economy, etc. That's why I won't vote for lesser evil, corrupt Dem candidates, because voting for lesser evil results in continued evil when it's done by almost all voters. We have the power to end this, but not by supporting the duopoly in DC.

What do you save for sentimental reasons?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

A few of my keys to old cars and homes. My books. That's about it. As far as neat and organized, I wish. Still have a lot of clutter, some of it stuff I kept from my late wife's things that I am not ready to toss yet. Unfortunately, there is no one to give those things to.

Are we (progressives) giving Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez too much praise?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

If she were old enough to be prez, I would want her running for prez. I hope that by the time she is old enough that she will run and still be highly regarded as well as still uncorrupted.

This is me 100%.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

True, and I support and respect women being that independent. But, having said that, I can tell you that here in the Midwest on dating sites like Match, most women still are seeking a man who will be both loyal to them and take care of them financially by usually paying for the expenses of the dates, esp. early on in the process. And because most men in my area will gladly do that, we have no choice but to pay if we want to compete for those women with men who will pay and date those women. Now, of course, we can choose to not play that game and not pay for the meals and costs of dates, but if we do we are left with way fewer women from the paid sites to date. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. And when it's already such an uphill battle for men on paid sites who are not great-looking to get interest from women, it doesn't really leave them with much of a choice now, does it?

Just frustrated

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

Only to those who drink the Kool-Aid, but there are many of them...

Just saw this on a friend’s FB page. What do you think of Martin Sheen’s analysis?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

I agree, but I don't see it ever happening as both major parties love the big money donations and the presidents they nominate keep appointing people to the Supreme Court that are supportive of big money in politics, so it will never end. Because ending it would require a constitutional amendment, which would never get the needed bipartisan support, or else the Supreme Court overturning Buckley v. Valeo ( a precedent from the early 1970s) as well as the Citizens's United precedent. Never going to happen.

Why do people keep complaining even if things improve?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

I think a friend of mine said it well. He said that as people's situations improve, so (usually) do their expectations and standards for what they feel satisfied with as far as the conditions of their life. So their level of satisfaction remains about the same.

How do you answer the banal message, "Hey, how are you?"

TomMcGiverin comments on May 20, 2019:

I hate small talk and generally refuse to engage in it. Since it sounds like you are talking about online dating and the messaging you get from men on that, I will say that when I send a first message to someone after viewing their profile, it is usually pretty brief, but intelligent and shows that I have read their profile by mentioning at least a couple things that I saw in the profile. I don't spend more than a few minutes anymore on these first messages because it isn't worth the effort, as 90% of them never get replied to and only about half of them even get read anymore. Only about half of them ever result in my profile being viewed. And you think you have problems with how people from dating sites treat you??

Hello fellow hippies, I just got home from the most amazing weekend with a true hippie.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 19, 2019:

I almost never use or have my tracphone turned on, since almost no one has that number or calls me on it. I do watch TV a fair amount (due to my limited social life), so I am unplugged most of the time and retired. I could use more connection to the world, I suppose. But I don't understand why most people seem so dependent on having a cell phone on all the time and being connected to social media every waking moment. That would be unbearable for me. I like a fair amount of quiet and time I like to be able to think deeply.

Do you find persistence attractive?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 19, 2019:

This ? really only applies to the women since, by default, all the pursuing on the paid dating sites is done by the men. It doesn't have to be that way, but that's how it works these days. So, honestly, I can't answer the ? because I have never had any women pursue me since I was in college.

I've got to remember this.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 18, 2019:

Yeah, I'll try to remember that with all of my luck on Match of never meeting any new women since Feb. along with not even one message returned since then either and now getting only about two profile views a week. Yeah, I'm swimming in luck, I need to buy a fucking lottery ticket......

Abortion is not the issue.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 18, 2019:

If I could make the rules for everyone, one rule would be that men should have no voice whatsoever in the making of public policy on abortion, since they are not the ones impacted by the policies nor do they experience pregnancy or give birth. That in itself would rid us of this religious, patriarchical BS that happens in politics. The Handmaid's Tale, like Orwell's 1984, becomes more reality than fiction all the time.

I have been thinking about getting married again after so many years of being a widower.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 18, 2019:

I'm about the same age and have no kids. I have no desire to marry again and I'm guessing most women my age would feel the same way, whether they have kids or not. I wish I could at least find someone compatible and attractive in my age group that lived in my area, but that has been a big nothing so far in two years. If I did find someone right and it lasted for a couple years or more, I would write them into my will, but not marry them. Right now I am not in a hurry to live with anyone again either unless I had dated them for at least a couple years. If you do marry again, get a prenup and very few women at our age would object to having one. I am a widower too and I am tired of waiting on being given a chance to date by the women online who seem compatible, since I have effectively been on my own for several years now, even while my late wife was living with dementia.

Where Is the Democratic Alternative to Forever War?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 17, 2019:

Even Bernie Sanders, much as I would like to see him be prez, won't stand up to the MIC or even take that strong a stance on endless war in the Middle East and EurAsia, like we have now. Maybe because he's old and wise enough to see what it got JFK, but also because he loves the defense contracts that Vermont gets. Either way, It's still frustrating to see how even the most progressive candidates for the Dem side of the prez race have either been coopted or cowed. A big amount of the blame can also be placed on the corporate media that they and we all know are big cheerleaders for war and the MIC, so they know very well how the media will treat them if they did take a strong anti-war or anti-MIC stance.

Where Is the Democratic Alternative to Forever War?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 17, 2019:

This issue, along with trade policy, economic policy, healthcare policy, and, for the most part, environmental policy, in other words everything that really matters to and affects corporate America, the two major parties have more in common than they do differences. Meanwhile the peasants keep getting distracted into thinking the two parties are different due to their differences in messaging and policies on identity politics, cultural wars, religion, abortion, gun rights, etc.... All things that the rich and corporate America could care less about........

Matt Taibbi on the Trail With Bernie Sanders 2.0 – Rolling Stone

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2019:

I am so sick of corporate and establishment Dems blaming Bernie for Hillary's loss to Trump. It's the same crap as blaming Nader for Gore's loss to Bush in 2000. Those kind of Dems will never admit that their sellout candidates are the problem, not progressive candidates, whether they run as Dems or third party. The Dems would rather keep being Repub lite, with the added quality of playing to minorities and women with identity politics, than run progressive candidates and actually dare to be different than the Repubs on trade and economic policy. They deserve it when they lose because they care more about selling out average Americans to their rich and corporate donors than about winning the While House instead of being loyal to those voters by running a progressive for prez.

Here is question.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2019:

If their profile essay says anything about their having faith, or that religion or their faith is important to them, or any stuff about Jesus, I move on, because they are obviously too religious to be tolerant and open-minded with me.

What could possibly go wrong? [kare11.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2019:

The modern gold rush for golddiggers.......

Are you up for any of these things?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2019:

Wish I still had a partner to share those with. My late wife and I used to do a lot of those things.

I've learned that people will forget what you said,people will forget what you did, but people will ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2019:

Especially true of people with dementia.

Why sarcasm?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 13, 2019:

Sarcasm is my second language. I do, however make an effort to never use it on someone who appears to be emotionally down.

In the past six years I have lost a daughter, my son, my wife and most recently my right leg.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 13, 2019:

You're a tougher man than I've ever imagined being. I admire you.

Enlightenment comes when you finally realize that none of it matters.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 12, 2019:

Only the ones who got knocked up, lol....

Is the Co-operative the answer to income inequality?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 12, 2019:

I'm guessing not. The Amish have been around America for over two hundred years, I think, and their system has no caught on with the rest of America. Co-ops used to be popular with farmers in America as a way to prevent the railroads and grain elevators from cheating them out of their fair share of profits, but those have gone away in the last few decades as family-owned farms have been replaced by corporate agribusiness.

Emotionally-stunted men

TomMcGiverin comments on May 12, 2019:

Very interesting article. The points on patriarchy and toxic masculinity remind me greatly of a Unitarian church service I recently attended (first time in over two years, but the topic seemed so interesting to me) on toxic masculinity with readings and a video by Bell Hooks. Both men and women lose from patriarchy and the video was about a prison group for men learning about these subjects and trying to change.

Like trying to find a unicorn

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

Not trying to be critical, but I would never expect that kind of support from someone in a relationship, at least not as a burden I was putting on them from the beginning. That's what therapists are for, being the primary person helping you cope. I'm glad that I am not so broken that I need a woman for a partner that can make me ok and able to cope. I don't know anyone who would agree to that burden from the get go. I was willing and able to do that for my late wife after she got dementia, but I won't do that again for someone from the outset of dating them. I wouldn't be able to handle it again so soon, if ever. That's why I won't date someone way older than me. I'd like to be with someone who will hopefully be healthy for a decade at least.

Why Progressives HAVE TO Vote for ANY Democrat Who Wins the Nomination in 2020

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

I don't HAVE to do shit Paul.......Last I heard, we have the right to vote for whomever we choose, including third parties and for something better than the lesser evil. Suit yourself, as my grandpa used to say.......

Shawn and I have been getting along for a few weeks now, but today, we were going to go to a local ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

The group is right. Staying with an abusive alcoholic is never the best solution. I hope you can find housing beyond a women's shelter, but for now that is where to go for help and safety in the meantime. The cats may be something you have to lose to save yourself, but hopefully they can go to a shelter if you call animal control about them should you not have friends who can take them for you. Whether he was drinking or not, on a full stomach or not, don't make excuses for him. Physical abuse is never acceptable. I grew up in a home that had that on a regular basis and I wish my mother had left him, but she didn't. These are different times where women have more options.

After reading the interesting post on left-handedness, I have a question: I am a left-hander.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

I am left-handed and share some of your traits, but not all. I have never felt conspired against by the world as a left hander or otherwise, because I have always seen myself as too small and insignificant to rate any conspiracies and see left-handedness as no different than my being tall, which is a function of genetics that gives me both advantages and disadvantages in the way the physical world is layed out. So being what you are physically just is what it is. No one is conspiring against you for minor things like that. Now, if I were disabled and in a wheelchair, that would be another matter as far as feeling the physical world is often designed without any consideration of your situation.

Forgive me if this gets a little raw.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

I can totally relate man. I really want to meet someone that is compatible and actually start to date again for the first time since my wife died, but at the same time, even tho I feel I am ready to date, I know how much it would crush me emotionally if it didn't work out. Partly because my father is dying and partly because I have gone so long with no real success with online dating and have no reason to believe that any other compatible women would come along anytime in the next few years if someone else from online doesn't work out. Yes, it does suck when we get to an age where our romantic opportunities are so limited compared to when we were young or even middle-aged. But I feel like I have to take my chances because I am not getting any younger and it will not get any easier with age. It really pisses me off that when I first began trying online dating I was in such a better place emotionally and had so much confidence about finding someone. But now, almost two years later, it has been such a beatdown that I am much worse off than then emotionally. So, how does that mean I am not ready to date, because I was ready back then before being emotionally beatdown? I am just as ready as then, I think, just without the confidence and hope that I had then.

Meet Tracey Crouch, the UK's first Minister of Loneliness, appointed by Prime Minister Theresa May ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

That's very ironic that the commission that studied loneliness was headed by Jo Cox. I have a longtime friend with the same name.

Maybe this is a wierd question.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

Your? is very apt, because we are in the same position as gay and lesbian people were a couple decades ago as far as visibility and acceptance with most Americans. We therefore experience similar things when we come out as non-believers.

Douchebag Von Fuckface (what Bill Maher calls dtjr), has been subpoenaed by Senate Intel ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

The vulgar nickname for Trump Jr. is funny to me, but then again a name that clever would be funny to me applied to anybody I loathe.....Maher may owe an apology to garden-variety douchebags everywhere for lumping them in with Trump Jr.......

In a medical boot, successfully worked out today!

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

Glad it worked out. That had to be challenging.

‘Decades in the making’: Megachurch pastor gives up on Christianity in profanity-laced ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

So far, in the local Meetup group for singles that I recently joined, the members of it that are also in Christian singles groups as well, have turned out to be spiteful and petty-minded people. What a surprise.....

I love that Chobani stepped up.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 11, 2019:

I live in a very smug, Repub town where most people have too much money, yet there are also a couple of trailer parks and also plenty of run down, old houses. I wasn't surprised at all when the local school board voted to not write off the lunch debts of kids, just that they would still allow the kids to eat even after the parents were in the red on the lunch bill. Got to keep teaching personal responsibility to those broke and struggling parents and their kids, don't you know, or else they might never develop good character.... Yet these local Repubs always support the govt. providing money for corporate welfare, tax breaks for the rich and money for war....

Acting natural ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 10, 2019:

Such a beautiful kitty..

"When we suggest that our political behavior is driven largely by coalition loyalty, then, we’re ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 10, 2019:

Tribalism, pure and simple explains an awful lot of human behavior, including classism and political choices.

'To the person who uses metal straws to save fish but consumes animals, I’d like to say thank you.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 10, 2019:

It goes to show that no one person has the monopoly or perfection in living a PC life. It gets annoying when you run into someone who thinks that they do or that life is a competition between them and everybody else as to who is the most PC.

All religions in the world were born/created with a view to leading the people to the right path.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 10, 2019:

In Scandinavian countries the welfare state provides a decent, even comfortable standard of living for everyone, including college education, health care, housing, food, etc., so there is no need to rob anybody to get by or afford things. In more pure capitialist countries like America, crime is the only real choice for some unless they want to live in poverty, crime or joining the military, I should say, which in some cases is not that much higher on the scale of morality...

Anthony Weiner to be released from halfway house

TomMcGiverin comments on May 10, 2019:

The biggest Dem fraud since John Edwards.....

Sarah Sanders set a record! yay!! She hasn’t held a Press Conference in 58 days, a modern ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 10, 2019:

Maybe she feels picked on when people act mean to her at the press conferences or later accuse her of lying. Poor baby......Like Nixon was in his final days as prez, she feels hounded and chooses to hide....I still love the slam when she was compared to a character in The Handmaid's Tale, that was priceless!

More life with Karen ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 9, 2019:

As long as kitty doesn't get like Tommy in Goodfellas and shoot Karen dead.....

Now I am getting no alerts at all.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 9, 2019:

I got over 36 tonight.

Why are married/in a relationship women so friendly to us singles?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 9, 2019:

No opinion. I'm probably too stressed and discouraged to even notice if a partnered woman was being very friendly to me, harmless or for real....

Karen, your cat.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 9, 2019:

That cat looks like it ate TWO bags of Cheetos!

Look what I got today! Sexy, huh?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 8, 2019:

My late wife had bunion surgery on each foot. Those boots are a pain in the ass....

Seeing that we are all atheists agnostics what makes a person choose good over evil?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 8, 2019:

I choose to do good over what seems to be evil because, for one thing, I believe choosing good over evil benefits the common welfare over time more than doing evil. Secondly, choosing good feels more comfortable and right for me, over choosing to do evil or what seems to be wrong. Finally, I take great personal pride in being moral and ethical, as part of my identity, so I choose to do good rather than evil or wrong for that reason as well.

Who here has dealt with depression from a firsthand experience?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 7, 2019:

Most of my adult life and I am 60. What would you like to know? Mine got worse during my late wife's dementia and then even worse the longer I was widowed, having no luck with online dating, and getting less support from friends than I received when my wife was alive and suffering dementia. Having little hope now about ever having someone to date or be a partner with is the main thing making it so bad right now. Also, during this decade, I developed a heart condition, lost my mother, and am about to lose my father. So in the last nine years or so, my stressors have been off the charts. Yours sounds like a combo of brain damage, social isolation, and employment struggles. Hope you are able to find help for all those areas of causation and stress.

That sinking feeling when you find this in your mail box..

TomMcGiverin comments on May 7, 2019:

I'm guessing this means you got audited, owe penalties or something else negative. Care to share with us the message from the IRS?

Big Tech and the Rise of Surveillance Capitalism

TomMcGiverin comments on May 7, 2019:

Another reason I don't have or want a smartphone and limit my online computer use to a small amount of FB and otherwise only visiting a few sites, along with very little online shopping.

I live in a very Christian and republican area.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 6, 2019:

I already know plenty of like-minded people offline and on here, so I get enough intellectual stimulation and support of my non-belief. So that's why I don't join or attend a Meetup Atheists meeting, because what I really need more of is not the above, but a few more friends that share other things in common with me that are fun and social, as well as women who would be interested in dating me. One of my friends is already involved with the local Meetup Atheists meeting and he has told me it's mostly all guys and no women my age that are single, so I won't waste my time or set myself up for disappointment with that group.

Should we respect other people's beliefs?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 6, 2019:

Everyone deserves their beliefs to be respected, along with their dignity and humanity, so I voted Yes. At the same time, that doesn't necessarily mean I want to be around them or that their beliefs should be enacted into our laws.