Munchie is a box boy! No, he's not mad at me, I caught his meow. ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2019:

My neighbor's cat loves boxes. She gets new boxes every couple weeks so her cat has something new to play in...

What does "Blocked" look like?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2019:

It appears that I've been blocked by a couple people and I don't know why they did it. But at this time, I no longer give a shit..

Snacks? Already?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 18, 2019:

Are they twins or at least siblings?

Our Weird World I've been visiting the local Unitarian Universalist fellowship on occasion, and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 18, 2019:

UU churches get targeted often by those kind of nuts, because they have the rep of being very lefty and LGBT supportive. The threat of violence is very real as a few of them have been shot up. From what I've heard, most of them now have security plans in place for that kind of problem, but none of them would ever actually have armed guards, which I think is kind of naive these days, but the churches are too hard core pacifist to take that step. The other posters are right, calling the cops is going to be too late to save everybody if the nut has weapons or a bomb. There comes a time when a group needs to protect themselves, tho that can be hard to decide.

In H.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 18, 2019:

I guess that's why they say the more you get to know people, the more you like dogs.....

I posted a couple weeks ago about a guy I had a date with, and a second date planned.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 18, 2019:

As the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld would say, "No dessert (sex) for you!".

I can't make up my bed because Stella is sleeping on the clean sheets fresh out of the dryer.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 18, 2019:

Cats love the warmth of things fresh from the dryer. They think those items are a like a spa for them to lay in...Reminds me of how much my parent's cats loved warmth. They would run to curl up against the vents in our living room as soon as they heard the furnace go on. Then they'd lay there against the vent as long as it stayed warm....

places to meet people?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2019:

I'll make this simple. Most people, quite ignorantly but with good intentions, will tell you to get out and join a bunch of groups, hang out at a bunch of places, take a bunch of classes, volunteer, etc. I have already tried those things and in reality the chances of you meeting someone to date is pretty unlikely, at least if you are my age. In the old days, bars were a good place because that was where pretty much all the single folks who were looking for dates were at. Nowadays it's different. Getting out and doing all the stuff I mentioned at the start is pretty much a waste of time because it involves a relatively small pool of people, many of which are not looking for someone new to date. And if you don't already have a reason or interest that motivates you to be out at that group or activity regardless of whether it helps you meet someone, it will only add to your experience of frustration and disappointment, which is bad for your mental health. Online dating is a cesspool, yes, but it does involve a rather large pool of people who are actually looking for someone to date. It also doesn't really involve investing that much time either. Way less time than, say showing up every week or month for anywhere from an hour to a few hours and never meeting anyone compatible to date. I guess the involvement approach where you spend lots of time offline hoping to meet someone gives you something to do and might pay off over a long period of time, but if you don't want to invest that much time in meeting someone and are already 60 and knowing that your years left are way less than what you've already lived, online dating seems a better bet of meeting someone in the next few years. I have also discovered, both by checking out some of these groups and activities, both in person and thru online browsing of their member lists, that many or most of the people at these offline groups and activities are already on Match. So going to the groups, etc., is just a waste of time and a duplication of effort as far as expanding your pool of people to meet for dating. Even if you are willing to invest all the time and effort of getting involved in these offline things to meet people, the only advantage they have over online dating is that you get to meet them in person to start, without all the competition, vs. meeting only thru them seeing a photo, and then maybe later a profile on a screen, but only if your photo meets their standards for looks.

Do you like having long term friends of the opposite sex?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2019:

I have no problem with it and have had several of these in my life. One was with a woman I met from a personal ad that was the only 9 I have ever got to know in my life. She was honest and kind enough to tell me at the beginning of the first meeting that he had no physical attraction for me, but we had a good 2 year friendship that we both valued before she moved away. She was a minister and I think she just really wanted a friend outside her church that she could hang with and confide to. Having said that, I also realize that it would be difficult if not impossible to have friendships with women like that while dating someone seriously due to possible jealousy. All of my friendships with women have begun while I was single, one of them has continued after I became involved and then married. It helps that she is married. I also have a fairly new friendship for the last year with a fellow widowed woman.

Cute boots

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2019:

I love GrumpyCat!

So many snuggles

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2019:

Such fluffy fur...

Kity... that's not how new cat beds work... you're supposed to get INSIDE the $35 kitty house... ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2019:

Maybe he's just proud of it and showing it off by posing in front of it for pics like this...Like hooman homeowners....

OK, this is the most adorable cat-dog fight I've ever seen. [facebook.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2019:

At least they are both being playful and gentle about it.

Zoe has not said that she is sorry for scratching my arms .

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 16, 2019:

The hooman is supposed to wear protective padding....

Adventures in Job Seeking: Yesterday I drove deep into the suburban Eastside for an interview ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 16, 2019:

I once interviewed for a job where basically the guy talked for an hour and a half and barely asked me anything. By the end I was uncomfortable about how it seemed like it was never going to end. I didn't get the job and I have no ideas what was going on with him. I suspect what happened that caused him to reject me was that the wife of a asshole co-worker from the current job I was in then worked at that place and that my co-worker had talked to him either before or after the interview and badmouthed me with a backdoor reference against me. I had not listed this co-worker as a reference, of course, and during the interview the guy did ask me about this co-worker and I gave a diplomatic positive answer. Didn't matter, I'm sure the co-worker cost me the job and during the interview the manager may well have just been going thru the motions. I so do not miss all the mindfuck that I endured over the years of employment and job-seeking. I am surprised there are not more shootings at workplaces by not only employees, but frustrated job-seekers.

Me & My little man Buddy

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

That is a cute cat. Looks like a badass too...based in the facial expression.

No truer words have ever been spoken. ????

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

To all the naysayers who claim there were no conspiracies behind the assassinations of JFK, RFK, MLK, Malcom X and Paul Wellstone, among others, just see what would happen if this man had ever gotten anywhere near being president. The major parties and corporations are so terrified of him that they had him arrested for even being near where the prez debate was being held.

No truer words have ever been spoken. ????

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

Word...as the rappers say.

This should make for a spirited conversation: The following is but one dude’s experience and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

Well, Deiter, as we both expected, looks like you got your spirited conversation. I like people who stir the pot or shit once in a while.....

sigh.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

You're part of a very large club, we all feel that way when someone else gets what we have been wanting. It's just that some people won't admit to it.

Is there any particular favorite activity listed in someone's profile that is a deal breaker for ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

Several activities on a profile are dealbreakers for me if they seem to be the main or fav activity of the woman: Smoking. Listening to country music. Attending college football or basketball. Camping or fishing. And in my area, this eliminates a lot of women who want a guy that shares these things with them.

This should make for a spirited conversation: The following is but one dude’s experience and ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

I think there is generally a lot of truth to these points as far as the diffs between men and women in arguments. My late wife would get mad very quickly and then need a while to cool off before we could discuss the problem. After she cooled off, she could be calm and rational about it and stick to the point without any long explanation or getting sidetracked.

What scents do you like on a man? Opinions welcome regardless of gender or orientation.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

This ? reminds me of the immortal Ken Shabby, from Monty Python fame. "I use Essence Of Polecat.... Makes my skin nice and scaly....".

Author Explains Women's Anger Today In A Way Men Can Truly Understand

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

It's sad that for most men this sort of exercise is needed for them to understand. For the rest of us men who are more sensitive and civilized, it is not necessary because we are able to understand, as well as any male can, by simply using a wonderful thought process called empathy....

[hightimes.com] Iowa?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

I live in Iowa, and, for the most part, the authorities are not that concerned about people who get high in the privacy of their homes, esp. if they live out in the rural areas. Unless you give them something else to be interested in you for......

Seniors are a happy group! They no longer care what people think.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2019:

Ani is a hip, cool, wise woman....

So, I was half way to Wheeling when I got the text.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

If he doesn't call tonight and seem truly, deeply apologetic, you will know his earlier text was BS and that he is a bum. Hope things work out soon with someone, even if it's not him...Glad you still ended up having some nice food on V-Day.

Zoe gave me another scratch. I bust my butt to support her. Some thanks I get. But I love her.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

As Sticks would say, all relationships have their rough patches, lol. My neighbor down the hall, whose cat I scam off of, said she once had something like that with her cat. Rascal had scratched her bad for the umpteenth time and Joan lost it and threw her TV remote at the cat and hit her in the head. They both sulked for several hours and then made up.

A very cute pair

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

I can't believe it's a bird and a cat playing. The cat must not think it's a cat....I've met some that I swear think they are humans rather than cats....

More than familial love. More than romantic love. Beer love.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

It's more of a guy humor thing. Well done as always Deiter...I can't speak for other guys, but I know damn well that even if I were 30 years younger and still had all my hair, I still wouldn't have a gorgeous babe like that wanting me after an oaf card like that.........Makes me think of Homer Simpson contemplating "Hmmm beer and baaacconnn....". Homer and Al Bundy are such every woman's dream guys.....

For those who may be sad and lonely today...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

I had a female friend who is also widowed like me call me late this afternoon saying she didn't want to eat dinner alone tonight so we met up at a HyVee store deli that was having a steak dinner buffet tonight-that I usually eat at every Thur.- for $9. Had a nice meal and conversation. Was a great surprise treat to do this. Maybe we'll do it regularly at either the store in my area or hers, say once a month.

Ain’t it the truth

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

I like the other one better where the cat is flipping off the hooman.

Not looking for sympathy or pity, but just sharing a fact that this is my 3rd Valentine's Day ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

This is my second after being widowed, join the club.....

If you're my Valentine, I won't be miserable now.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

I still choose to be miserable, lol. Since I sang it at karaoke on Tue., I'll quote it for my fellow Moz lover DeStijl, "And heaven knows I'm miserable now".

A poem for Valentine's Day.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

You got it sweety! I love GrumpyCat.....

I just love imperfect people. Perfect people can be so boring!

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

My late wife and I looked like an odd couple together, but I wouldn't have had it any other way....

Music has the power to make us smile.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

Going to karaoke to be with my karaoke pals who are fellow music lovers, and singing there, does this for me.

So, I was half way to Wheeling when I got the text.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 14, 2019:

Merrie- I am really sorry that happened. I know that today's lunch date was very important to you. It's better than being stood up, but I don't blame you either way for whether you decide to give this guy another chance or just flush. Good luck with the former jock.

If there were an award for laziness..

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:

I call them cats of leisure.......

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers, Feb. 15th is 50% of Chocolate day.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:

Walmart is fucking evil. I hate them too much to go out of my way to buy chocolate there, no matter what the price.

After almost 3 weeks on a dating site I have removed my profile because I just can’t take anymore ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:

The paid site I'm on seems to pretty well stay on top of the scammers and I think that's because they are the largest site out there and realize it's in their best interests to have staff police the scammers and help them maintain a good rep. They also have a free 6 month extension of your membership that they will give you if you pay for 6 months or more and don't end up meeting anyone to date steady. All you need to do during the six paid months to qualify for the free extension is to have kept your profile visible, have a profile pic, and message at least 5 different new members each month. I've already had one free extension and am now on the last month of my second paid 6 month membership. I have only met 5 women in person over 16 months. But that's common for average-looking men, at least my age in my area. I have no idea what's common for women my age in my area, but I bet there are way more men than women on that site in those categories. Ironically, I may soon be meeting two women at the same time in the next week or so. If so it will be the first time I've ever been able to try parallel dating, so to speak. We'll see. It's pure dumb luck that I came across two women at the same time that were both interested in me. One is new and the other I've been trading messages with for about a month but haven't met yet due to weather and illness so far. Doubt I will be seeing both for very long at the same time. @Gwendolyn2018

11 Literary Pick Up Lines for the Chronically Dateless | Literary Hub

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 13, 2019:

This stuff is way too highbrow for me to be familiar with it, much less work it well. It's also too highbrow to work on women in my area.

When I was 5 years old my mother always told me happiness was the key to life.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

That man was so intelligent and wise, even he wasn't exactly a saint. He was always a hero to me and I still get so sad and angry that he was murdered. He was always a role model to me and others about how to never conform to the system or be misled by authority. He stayed true to his conscience and principles as much as any celeb except maybe Muhammad Ali. " A working class hero is something to be...."

Every time I get on plenty of catfish, I immediately get messages from random women looking to ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

I'm glad you enjoy screwing with their heads. Me, I've never felt like bothering with it.

Every time I get on plenty of catfish, I immediately get messages from random women looking to ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

See Deiter's two posts about an alleged Russian beauty that is after him, lol. I personally don't have any experience with that on this site. Had a lot of it on Our Time and only a bit of it so far on Match. Match seems to do pretty well at keeping them off their site because the staff appears to be actively patrolling the site for scammers. I think another reason Our Time has more scammers is that the site is more geared for older people, who scammers think are easier marks than younger people.

Oh no... not wine....

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

Poor scared kitty. Those crazy unreliable hoomans....

Another missive from Irinushoka Woman today! She's moved from reaching out to campaigning.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

Deiter- How is it you track down where the pic is really from anyway?

Another missive from Irinushoka Woman today! She's moved from reaching out to campaigning.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

Once again Deiter, aka Mr. Catfish, you are so generous to share some of "her" so abundant love with us, lol! She might be more successful with pics that had full body shots and more skin... but who cares, how can we resist anyway???? What's the rules anyway about dating site profile pics, are 15 yo pics too outdated, as long as they aren't your own to begin with???????

I want to believe

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 12, 2019:

Like Mulder on The X-Files, "I Want To Believe".

I swear if my cat poops one more time.... I'll just clean out her litter box as usual ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

The cat always knows that they are in charge, lol.

Men: Serious relationship or no?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

I think you have a wonderful attitude. I have always been and am still the guy that would be a gentleman and not have sex on the first date even if the woman wanted to or I was really attracted. More importantly, I would never expect sex on the first date. That's just the way I'm wired and I would not want to risk messing things up emotionally with me or the woman by jumping into bed on the first date. I'm more the shy, under-confident type about sex. So it would be more likely after a few dates at least.

The coolest people I've ever met have the most colorful pasts, they've lived lives of risk, made bad...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

I've known a few in my time. I never had their courage, but I'm better having known them.

Just curious, do you believe in karma or law of attraction?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

I guess I sort of want to believe in karma, that's why I'm Agnostic rather than Atheist, because I see so little justice in how most things work in this world. But I don't believe in the law of attraction regarding our thoughts bringing experiences into our lives. I believe things come into our lives either purely by chance or fate sometimes and other times by our actions and choices, not by our thoughts. Sounds too New Age woo to me.

Vacation in 2 days. L.A., look out; y'all are in trouble!?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

You just go be your bad self. Be sure to send us a post about it either while you are gone or when you get back. At least it's not Jackson-hell, lol!

As rental prices rise, women stay in bad relationships to survive. [broadly.vice.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

That's a longtime sociological fact, that when the economy is bad or rental prices are high, that more couples stay together out of economic need. It's a sad thing that few people talk about or admit, at least while they are doing it. Better economic times, not surprisingly, see higher divorce rates. I know it's more of a middle class luxury than a reality for many people, but the wise thing for anyone of either gender is to be employable and financially self sufficient enough that you never have to stay with someone for this reason. However, once you have kids, you're even more trapped in the relationship. One, but not the only reason, that I never had or wanted kids. Another was the financial pressure of supporting kids even if I did leave a relationship.

Sooooo I’ve got under 700 points to go to get to Level 8.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

I'm on level 7 and a long ways from that T-shirt.

Leaving for Canada Wednesday (for the third time :) ) to see my baby.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

The cartoon style reminds me of South Park.

Leaving for Canada Wednesday (for the third time :) ) to see my baby.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

Awww, that is so sweet. I am tall and have always enjoyed moments when I could share a kiss like that with a shorter woman, including my late wife, who was the shortest woman I ever went out with. 6' 2" vs. 5' 0".

I was listening t the radio.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

Well, that's another new one on me. I guess I need to get out more, browse the Urban Dictionary weekly, or at least spend more time on FB. Seems like the only place I here these new terms is on this site, and often I have to ask someone for a definition.

Geriatric kamikaze pilot blasting through space at 35 mph

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

My dear, I bet you can't wait for spring and weather for biking and hiking....

What do you do for self care?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

Talk to friends, exercise, reading. Going to karaoke once a week to sing.

I had a pain for 2-3 days in one testicle, pain was very similar to pain when it's hit.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

Is it just me or is this a bit TMI? Seriously dude, I kind of wish I hadn't clicked on this thread, it's making me feel a bit squeamish.....Glad you like pain, if you're into that...

Geriatric kamikaze pilot blasting through space at 35 mph

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

My weekly karaoke show is my social event and highlight of the week, but no way I would drive the 20 mi. trip there in those conditions, much less for a haircut or even a medical apt. if it couldn't be rescheduled for the week after. Kathleen, I'm glad you made it safely and hope the rest of your week is better....

Retirement destination?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

I'm staying here, already retired, even tho the winters suck. because I will always need my friends too much to move away and I don't make new ones that easily. Even if I met someone special to share my life with, I'm not going to take the risk of moving away from my friends and ending up without their support if it didn't work out or I was widowed again.....I might be willing to take some risk for love, but I'm not going to move away and drop my safety net.

Girlfriend wanted a cat ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

Kitten has different colored eyes, just like David Bowie did.

OK Ralph ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

I have seen so many small cats that have no fear of much bigger dogs. Some will just slap the shit out of a dog if they get annoyed or mad.

What would YOU tell her?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

That is a tough one. I'm sort of torn on this one, even tho I've never wanted kids or been a parent, because of the experience of a longtime friend with something like this. My friend is a social worker who adopted a kid as a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome when she was single, from a mom that was an addict. My friend knew what she was in for as she was first a foster mom for the boy before adopting him. She soonafter met a divorced guy that was a single parent with kids that were already about out of the nest. They got married after dating a year or so. She is atheist and he is Catholic. This poor boy has been mentally screwed his whole life from the fetal alcohol stuff, resulting in ADHD and also behavioral problems since he was very young. Tons of meds, therapy, shrinks, etc. He has had a bunch of school suspensions, fights with other kids, done internet stalking and harassment of other kids. His parents have tried everything they can and are hoping that a program called Job Corps., that they have enrolled him in, will eventually take him so he will have a place to live and a way to get employed once he turns 18, less than a year away. Because when he does, they are going to evict him from their home. He is abusive to them, verbally and sometimes physically as well as destructive to property. My point is that sometimes parents can do everything right, but the kid is too screwed up and they have no real choice but to either save themselves or let the kid destroy their life. And after age 18, he is not their responsibility anymore anyway legally.

Only packing the essentials.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2019:

So cute. It would be hard to leave them behind for a trip.

Okay, I need some advice.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:

I've got nothing. Personally, I wouldn't meet someone from a dating site for the first time on V-Day, simply because it could too easily end up being too loaded with expectations or misunderstanding. I would wait until a few days before or after to avoid those issues.

DATERS! Throughout time the first meeting between a man and a woman was called a date.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:

The protocol has changed with online dating. Nowadays the first meeting of two people is for coffee in a public place. It is pretty much an informal interview meeting. That is why I call mine coffee meetings. If the first meeting goes well and both people are interested in seeing each other again for something more substantial, like having dinner, seeing a movie, going to a concert, etc., those would be called dates. Who really cares that much what those occasions are called? I don't. I just know that is the expected protocol these days when two strangers encounter each other on a paid dating site. Before the coffee meeting, the two people always trade a few messages, sometimes they also might talk on the phone some, usually they don't. It's all about the dance of cautiously finding out more about the other person and deciding if there's enough attraction and compatibility to want a romantic relationship with the other person, altho most people prefer to wrap the whole thing in the early stages with the cliches about friendship first, etc.. The difference is, with new friendships between people of the same or opposite sex, that don't involve a dating site, nobody is sizing up the other person early on about whether they could see themselves having sex with the other person. Such a bunch of cliche crap, the whole "friendship first" stuff. It's just a way to indirectly tell men (justly) to back the hell off and slow down on trying to get someone into bed.

What's the one line that made red flags pop up and your brain say... "deal breaker"?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:

I actually have fewer dealbreakers than most below. 1. Fairly religious 2. Can't accept a non-drinker 3. Expects me to love watching college sports or has few interests other than same. 4. Is very family-oriented, as in wants to spend most of our time together with her family or grandkids. 5. Politically conservative 6. Likes country music Seriously, that's all there is. Probably wouldn't be that hard to find someone even with these dealbreakers if I lived on either coast, but I live in the Midwest. Enuf said......

Men don't like intelligent women.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:

All other things being present with the woman (common interests, physical attraction that's mutual), I won't date a woman that's not intelligent, emotionally strong, and independent. I'm not attracted to women who don't have these last three qualities. But I concede that my standards are probably not typical of most men on that because I'm not very typical myself and I don't think most men on this site are either. As someone once said, non-believers are a smaller part of the population than gay people, so most of us are very non-conformist and atypical in other ways as well as religion. Another example of this is how I bet choosing not to have kids is probably way more common among the members of this site than among the general pop..

How do you deal with someone you really like, have to deal with an hour or more transit and might ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 10, 2019:

Good luck, taking turns staying overnight sounds good, like cutie says. But I won't do LD.

Properly functioning shredder.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:

Poor kitty works so hard!

Why is it that nearly all of the ladies who show up with high compatibility scores for me are in ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:

Don't count on it. In my local area, no new women my age have joined in the last 15 months. As far as the handful my age that are in my area, I messaged almost all of them long ago and struck out with them all. Of course, none of them were ever involved in the forums and interested in the community here either, unlike me. It appears that whenever women my age in my area do come to this site, they are only here to date and after taking a quick look at how few men there are in my area, they pretty much leave the site for good. I guess I and my peers don't impress them very much, however many there may be of us.......I get the feeling that one reason I struck out with the women on here in my area is that being non-believers was about all we had in common, besides maybe, in some cases, being politically liberal. As far as anything else tho, like being family-oriented or tastes in entertainment and music (such as liking country music and college sports), they were probably a lot more traditional and conservative than me, which most people in Iowa are. I've found that in Iowa, just because a woman is an Agnostic, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is also that much of a hipster or non-conformist in other ways, like not having kids or being not very family-oriented. On the coasts, those other traits tend to come with being Agnostic more than they do in the Midwest.

I just love this!

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:

Didn't know they had photo booths back then.

After a thought-process-altering experience with a man with whom I became embroiled on an online ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 9, 2019:

I'm glad to see most of the thread agrees with me on this one. I have no kids and my siblings are generally very toxic people, as was my father for most of his life, not so much now. My friends, on the other hand, are almost all people I have known for over 25 years and have been my salvation and real source of support. I get so sick of women on dating sites assuming that I am toxic, dysfunctional, etc. and seeing red flags about me because I am not close to my family and that I state in my profile that my friends are my real family and have been for a long time, along with saying that I am not very family-oriented, but willing to spend some time with a woman's family after dating a few months. I think there is a lot of denial going on with at least some of the women in my area on the paid dating site I am on, because there's no way that all of them have wonderful families that they are close to or that they are all as family-oriented as they claim to be in their profiles. If by some miracle I actually met a woman on the paid site that was compatible and we started dating for a few months (so far in 16 months I've never met anyone more than 3 times), I would first introduce them to some of my friends, sooner than that if they insisted as it would be no problem for me. As far as my family, that would be another matter and more like several months to a year before I would expose them to family. BTW, my mother is dead, my siblings have never really understood and accepted me or been supportive as adults and always seen me as a failure in most things. Unlike my friends, in their mind I am to blame for everything bad that has ever happened to me, unlike my friends, who've actually been close to me and around me during the last 25 years. In the meantime I would gladly explain to them why I was not eager to introduce them to my family. I've been widowed two years now and both I and my late wife were not close with our families, but made up for it with friends. Her family all lived far away too, as does most of mine. Someone else posted a thread recently about whether people value achievements vs. relationships. That describes my family to a T. Unlike me and my friends, they value money and careers above all else, so with them it's all about achievements, where they have done well as adults and I haven't. So they see me as an embarrassment and a failure. Why would I be close to people who have such a fundamental difference and such a low opinion of me? It's also no surprise that my siblings don't even have much involvement with each other. Anybody else in this same boat?

Seems about right. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

Such an adventurous, curious kitty...

I can't believe this! A woman that I have gone out with on approximately 6 or seven dates in the the...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

In the words of one of my fav movies, " What we have here, is a failure to communicate...". Seriously man, I have no idea. Unless she is mentally unbalanced, I have no idea what is going on in her mind to say something like that. Maybe you got off easy with this one. Flush.......

Greetings Agnostics! Call me Mr.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

Hey Deiter, let us know if you need tissues for wiping up your bucketful of dream when you grow tired of sitting in it, lol!

Greetings Agnostics! Call me Mr.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

Advance sarcasm alert!!! ( So nobody bashes me for PI humor). I would suggest to the men that ordering a blow-up doll might be a better investment than sending Irina any money, just MHO.....everybody should choose their own fantasies, I guess. Funny post, Deiter! You're so generous to share her love with us.....

So, I've met some folks from this site and that turned into at least one really good solid ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

What is SJW? I've seen that here in a couple threads, so I figure it's time to ask what it means. I would love to date someone as lefty as me, as long as they are not way bitter or adversarial towards men in general and also not militantly vegan either. That's one area of PC and being lefty that I don't subscribe too and get annoyed with the pressure from most lefty's that I should be vegan too. So I can relate with you some..

Pretty much how I envision most of the Agnostic Ladies I interact with here on a regular basis.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

Who wants someone normal and mainstream anyway???

Had a very disheartening experience yesterday at a grocery store.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

Update: I left a comment card yesterday at the store stating my complaint about the scan and go machines replacing the express lanes with the cashiers. He called me today and "assured " me that the scan and go machines had been requested by customers, so that's why they made the switch and that they "were not going to be losing any jobs or replacing any workers" with this move. Yeah, right..... How many of you honestly think that's the truth??

I fucking love her! Just because something is legal doesn't make it moral. [m.facebook.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 8, 2019:

It's legalized bribery, plain and simple. And until Buckley vs. Valeo is overturned (highly unlikely), big money will continue to own DC. You can't reform the system as long as the above precedent is in place, which equates money with free speech.

How do you feel about assisted suicide at the end of your journey in this life.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:

I hope I have the capacity and the courage to end my life once my health and quality of life are irreversably poor, but I would appreciate it if I could legally have a doctor aid me in doing this. If that is not an option by then, I will find a way even if I have to order the drugs by mail to do it.

Had a very disheartening experience yesterday at a grocery store.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:

PS- I expect this kind of shit from Walmart, who we all know is evil, but it was sickening to see it done by this long-time, family-founded grocery chain.

Online Dating Practices

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Agreed. Most of the time women click on Like for me, they have not read my profile and are simply indicating that they feel my main photo is acceptable looking enough that they might be interested in me. By itself, it's worthless as far as I'm concerned and I don't bother messaging those women after their Like click. They are being lazy.

Midnight the Cat Saves Baby's Life [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:

That cat's face seems to be saying "Please go away..".

Why would someone not have a profile picture on a dating site?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 6, 2019:

I think the reasons for not having a pic in the profile on a paid dating site have been pretty well covered. I will simply share the one experience I had messaging someone who had no pic in their profile. This woman happened to view my profile and liked it enough to send me a Like. I then viewed her profile and messaged her saying I was interested in learning more about her, but was also concerned about her not having a pic. She said she had no pic because she was a college prof and didn't want her students or colleagues to see her pic and know she was on the site. She also agreed to send me a couple pics thru e-mail and did so. She did say that she was concerned that I might decide to reject her after seeing the pics, but I said I wouldn't know until I saw them and that it was only fair after she had already seen several pics of me. She sent the pics, I decided her looks were good enough for me to still be interested, but after chatting some more thru e-mails, we hit a dealbreaker difference on something, so we never ended up meeting. Most of the women I end up chatting with on that site end up hitting a dealbreaker like this before an in person meeting ever happens. I would add that this barrier of hitting a dealbreaker happens not because my profile essay is not detailed or specific enough, but because in most cases the woman's profile is not long and detailed enough and they have not really thought thru possible differences before they begin chatting with me.

Can I qualify as a "Boomer" and an "80's Boomer"?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 5, 2019:

When I was in high school and college, my friends were always older than me, so in that way I was exposed to a lot of the older Boomer culture. At the same time tho, once I got out of college, I began to hang out some of the time with younger people as well. I also continued to keep up on the new trends in music and culture as well. So that's why I feel like a part of both Boomer groups.

How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

I just did a net search to refresh my memory of Chris Rock's rant about Black History Month and it led me to an SNL sketch with Tom Hanks called Black Jepordy (the game show). I hadn't ever watched this, but it was not only crazy funny, but made a great point that in many ways rednecks and poor blacks have more in common than differences. How ironic....In the end, poverty shapes culture more than race.....

How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Ignorant is as ignorant does.....

I don't always make stupid mistakes...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

I also look around in each direction when I fart so people will think it was someone else...

Okay, a very basic question (which may or may not have a long or short answer!): what are your five ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Godspell Hair Grease Jesus Christ Superstar Evita And in all cases I am only referring to the stage versions. The film versions of Grease and Godspell are very lame to me.

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

I was very torn between #1 and #6.

When you scold your dog ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

The cat reminding the human who's boss...

Time for bed...according Osiris

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Better than being smothered to death with a pillow.

This is my first post here.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 2, 2019:

Glad to hear validation of how much looks matter in who will bother to get to know you and who won't. It is an equal gender thing and I get sick of how many women try to claim otherwise and bash men who point out the truth of how much looks matter over personality in the initial screening process. Too bad there is no such thing as a dating site where people in the more average leagues and classes of looks didn't have to compete against the 8s and 9s. Because then, in such a format, the profile essay and other traits would be given more serious consideration by the opposite gender.

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 2, 2019:

So now that I have outlined my tastes in music, you can all see why I hate country music so much even tho I have been around it my whole life in Iowa, where it dominates the radio and general music scene. Country is the antithesis of alternative and hipster music, both of which I love.