Famous songs that are covers - youtube

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 13, 2019:

At karaoke every performance is a cover version. Maybe that's why so many people hate it. I enjoy singing karaoke and have done so for 30 years, but a lot of the singers and song choices (esp.) bore me. That's why I've become very picky about what shows I attend. I'm a karaoke and music snob and proud of it!

Empathy.... Can you have too much?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 13, 2019:

The world is becoming more and more impersonal and narcissistic. Relationships are increasingly disposable. We need more people to become as empathetic as possible without burning themselves out.

The new york times exposed for sabotaging bernie sanders 2020 - youtube

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

The MSM is preparing to promote Warren as the Dem candidate for liberals and progressives over Bernie, which is why I am skeptical that she can be trusted to actually hold up as a progressive if she got to be prez. The media only provides fair coverage to those pre-selected by the ruling class to be acceptable and loyal to the status quo on economic and foreign policy.

The Consumer Electronics Show just banned a sex toy invented by and for women but awarded one made ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

Typical double standard BS, but no surprise....

Very depressing indeed

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

MSNBC is fake liberalism/progressive commentary. All you need to know that is how they cancelled Phil Donahue's show because he opposed the Iraq war in 2003 and that its parent company, NBC, owns General Electric, one of the biggest defense contractors around. They only pretend to be lefty because Fox had already cornered that market first.

Gaia had a choice - fireplace or lap!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

The cat is saying, " Don't you dare move a muscle. I'm quite comfortable here".

The lyrics in the song are nice.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

To me, Anne Murray was always country music and I really hate country music. Even tho I've lived my whole life in the middle of where it's very popular, along with Christianity.

The Sledge Hammer Approach A man was driving a horse and cart through London when suddenly the ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

I think I heard an American version of this quite a while ago, only the weapon involved was a 2' x 4' piece of wood and the animal involved may have been a mule instead of a horse, I dunno. I guess irony and humor are in the eye of the beholder.

You don't stop playing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop playing.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

I believe that was also the subject of a Twilight Zone episode called Kick The Can.

Can you believe it, there are professional cuddlers that make $60 an hour? LOL

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

Explains the popularity of legit massage therapy. I go once a month. Costs $65/hr., the lowest going rate in my area. Been getting massages for almost three decades. Never heard of prof cuddling before.

This is how a church should be. Your thoughts?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

LiterateHiker, I fully agree this is how a church should be, but my local UU church is now anything but what you describe. Ironically, there is a small, very liberal UCC church right down the street from me, but they use the Bible and are Christian. I would probably fit in great there socially and share all their politics. And I've heard they have all the qualities of the UU church you visited. But I'm not going to lie or pretend to believe or be a Christian just to attend and enjoy their community.

This is how a church should be. Your thoughts?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

I made several really great friends at my local Unitarian church in the early 90s and they are still with me today. I also met my late wife because of these connections while she was attending a UU church about 30 miles away. The UU churches are full of great ideals and people who are Agnostic, Atheist, and/or Humanist as well as almost all very politically liberal to socialist. But the longer I was there, at least at my local one, the more turned off I was by how classist and cliqueish most of the members were. It started to seem more like a country club for intellectuals than a community that actually valued and embraced all members equally, whether they drove a bus or were a doctor, which was exactly the opposite of how I remember the Catholic church where I grew up. Because there, everybody felt welcome and valued, no matter their social or economic standing. Yes, there was probably cliqueishness there too, but it was so blatant at the UU church in spite of all the rhetoric and lip service about it being a caring community and respecting the dignity and worth of every human being etc. I got really disgusted with it and then withdrew even more after my late wife's dementia became late stage. I didn't need to be around negative stuff. Nowadays, I could probably meet someone to date as a widower there that would be compatible, but I just don't feel eager to go spend time there (even when I still know some people there) when I already feel treated as indesireable by Match.com and most of the people at the church that you meet will be quick to ask you what you do for a job so they can size you up on whether you fit in with them and are on their class level. Lots of middle management and corporate types. If you don't fit, they will be very quick to walk away and ignore you. That's the kind of classist bullshit I'm talking about, along with the fact that very few of them care about economic justice or inequality, no matter how much the ministers keep talking about social justice, which usually amounts to identity stuff like gay rights, feminism, race, immigrants, etc.. All stuff that's not offensive to upper middle class types. My late wife's old UU church is not so classist or cliqueish because it is much smaller, but because it's in a smaller college town, it has very few people my age. Part of the problem with my local one is its size, about 500 members. It's grown too large and impersonal compared to the early 90s and nowadays, for example, when they get to the part of the service for sharing milestones, joys and concerns, etc. in the lives of the members and their families, you have to submit those in advance by e-mail or in writing and they are read out loud by the minister. Very bureaucratic and impersonal.

The government shutdown spotlights a bigger issue: 78% of US workers live paycheck to paycheck

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 12, 2019:

This confirms that the middle class is now a fairly small class. By definition, middle class living used to be having some financial security to the point of some retirement money, some decent amount of savings, the ability to afford at least one good annual vacation, comfortably able to own and pay off a mortgage in 15 years. If only 20% of workers are not living check to check, that's a pretty skinny group on the overall distribution of wealth and income. It's been quite a while now that those living at a middle class level have become a much smaller, narrow % of the population compared to the 1960s, when they made up maybe 50% of the population. Instead of a really large, broad middle class we now have a very large underclass of the poor and unemployed along with a very large class of the working poor. Together they make up about maybe 70% of the population. We then have about 20% living in the kind of middle class that used be at least twice that size in the US. Then we have the top 10% made up of the rich and the upper-middle class, who make 100-150K a year. At least at the federal level, neither major party cares about the economic welfare of the bottom 70% of the population anymore, tho they do pay lip service to some of the better off members of the bottom 70% and vie to get their votes before ignoring them between election campaigns.

Earlier this week, I pointed out that AOC’s bluster and unwillingness to compromise would cause ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

I really hate this predictable shit of blaming the left for the Dems losing instead of the corporate Dems who keep pushing candidates that only appeal to maybe 25% of all eligible voters. The corporate Dems could win easily every time if they ran candidates that could inspire most of the 50% of non-voters, who are overwhelmingly poor, to vote for them, but that's not what they want. The poor don't vote not because they don't care or are uninformed. If anything, they are more aware and realistic than most middle class people who so vote. Poor people will turnout and vote for a candidate that seems trustworthy, inspiring and able to actually make a difference. But they will not turn out for a candidate who ignores class warfare against them, doesn't speak at all about the poor or inequality, and instead focuses on identity politics and multiculturalism. Why should poor whites care about that? They are consumed by survival and don't have the luxury to care about those things like middle class folks.

Earlier this week, I pointed out that AOC’s bluster and unwillingness to compromise would cause ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

The Dems could win with a progressive but they keep pushing corporate Dems like Hillary or Biden because it's what their big donors want. They really don't care what their average supporters think or want, and they sure as hell don't care what the poor or even the working poor want, so they go after what they really want. Which is maintaining the economic and foreign policy status quo regardless of whether they win or lose elections along with keeping them and their families in well-paying, high power jobs in govt., Wall Street, lobbying, or in corporate America. They and theirs do just fine no matter which way elections go.......If the Dems ran a real progressive, they would win in a landslide with all the tens of millions of lower income non-voters who would suddenly have hope and care enough to vote. The level of turnout would be at least 75% and heavily favor the Dems.

What is your opinion on this?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

I think the Beats and Hippies were the same types as far as personality and the transition from one to the other being the main counterculture group occurred sometime around 1966 or 67. The biggest difference between the two is that the hippies tried to take communal living further than the Beats by establishing their own autonomous communities, tho many of the Beats would live together and even share sexual partners. The rest of the differences were more about fashion and which drugs were the most preferred as well as music choices. The Beats were into jazz and folk, while the Hippies were into rock and folk. Same people, just different generations....

So question for the ladies. Would you ever date/marry down?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Tim- Why do you really care if she has more money? If you can pay your own way, it probably doesn't matter to her or she wouldn't have agreed to the coffee meeting. Are you on a dating site where she knows your income level from your profile? How are you aware of this money diff between her and you? The only thing I would worry about is the power difference that she might have in a relationship with you because of her wealth, but if she is the type to put you down or push you around because of it, it will become apparent soon enough if you begin dating. Ok, I see your comment that you are both in the top 10%, just different levels of it. See my last two sentences.

Hello, I’m new to the site.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

She's so cute and sweet-looking.

Would you date someone with a felony record?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

It would all depend on the nature of the crime and how long ago it was. And, obviously it would also depend on what they are like now.

So question for the ladies. Would you ever date/marry down?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Didn't vote because I'm a man, but I do have an opinion on this and something related. I think women marry down a lot these days on money, but, at least in my area and age group, it appears most of them want to date a man who is their income level or about 15K more than them if possible. I base this on what is indicated in their profile categories of income levels. As far as dating or marrying up or down on levels of looks, I think women are more likely than men to date or marry someone from a lower level of looks than them, but even then, it seems like only a minority of women will date someone from a lower level of looks. It seems like very few men will date or marry down when it comes to levels of looks. So in the minority of relationships, where someone ends up with someone from a different level of looks, it's a woman who moves down and a man who moves up.

Curious.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 11, 2019:

No luck at all. Only a handful my age in my area. Since I joined a little over a year ago, I messaged all but one of them with interest in getting to know them and maybe meeting. Was rejected by all of them. No new women my age have joined from my area in the last year either.

Dan and I just got back from seeing another excellent movie "Vice.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Saw it and it showed me what I already knew, that Cheney is an evil genius MF that was so heartless and ruthless about seeking power, like his wife and his daughter Liz, that they all threw his daughter Mary under the bus-because she is a lesbian-just so Liz could get into Congress. Next to the Trumps, Americas's most FU family.

Eventually you will❤

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 10, 2019:

So far I've only met one, my late wife, and I feel very discouraged about the likelihood it will happen again.

Heard today from someone out of the blue who ghosted me back in September.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 10, 2019:

This is not the movies. I would not give him another chance, tho I might accept his apology as sincere. There are plenty of other men out there that are probably just as compatible that already have their shit together, unlike him even now, much less back then.

According to CNN, 7 independent investigative studies undertaken within the last two years, have ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 10, 2019:

They are afraid of being eventually accountable to the other races they hate and that's why they love and are buying guns, so they can fight the other races as well as maybe the cops once whites no longer run the govt., including the police. There are bloody times ahead when this finally happens, but these assholes will lose if they think they can outgun the cops.

Hello Iowans! As much as I would sometimes like to ignore it the reality is that the field for 2020...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 9, 2019:

I'm not going to vote because I don't really care. I have a friend that is very political and keeps me informed of all political events involving Dems. If I feel like going, I'll go with him. Since Bernie got screwed out of the nomination I doubt I will attend anything with the Dems. I figure any candidate that has a real chance of getting their nomination is no one for me to get excited enough about to go see. Been there, done that.

How do you respond to messages from those you have no interest in?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 9, 2019:

90-95% of the first messages I send to women on Match get no response, so I am grateful to someone who takes the time to respond even with a no thanks reply. I never give a hostile reply, I thank them. You look like an attractive woman, so I assume you get tons of messages from men. I'm amazed you have the time to message that many of the men you aren't interested in. Most women in your looks class are not that way, at least in my experience. Are you talking about this site or a paid site like Match? I'm not trying to be a pain, but one of my pet peeves is OPs on this site that do not specify if they are referring to online dating experiences on this site or on a paid site, because there seems to be so much difference in how things work and how people behave on one vs. the other type.

[consequenceofsound.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 9, 2019:

May as well. He already did Berlin before that wall fell.

"Anyone who makes people think for themselves is very dangerous.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 9, 2019:

Lenny Bruce was a subversive person, that's why the authorities harassed him, and he reacted by abusing drugs even more and killing himself that way. Saved an assassination for them. Who knows what they would have done to John Lennon back in the 70s if he hadn't gotten scared of the govt. and backed off on his political activities.

And - in other news.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

I think I would pass on both of them by watching something else on TV, reading or taking a nap, but fortunately this evening is my weekly karaoke show, so I'll be joining a few of my karaoke peeps there and singing. Sadly, this is my main social event and highlight of each week until I meet someone to date. Not interested myself, but my guess is once Stormy's affair with Trump became public, most men in America have already seen her in less than her underwear somewhere online or off.........I assume she's getting some $$$ for her appearance online.

I read this article today on dating someone you are not yet attracted to.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Read it. Sounds like a bunch of idealistic psychobabble. I'm like most people. If someone's pics in a dating profile don't make me feel anything at all or worse, even turn me off on the thought of sex with them, I'm not going to message them on a dating site. If their looks from the pics make me think they're even somewhat physically attractive, I'll message them. If I meet them in person once or even twice, and I'm not feeling it by then, I'm going to politely let them know I don't want to go further. Nothing is more frustrating or humiliating to someone than going ahead and dating someone where one or both don't feel enough physical attraction to sexually desire the other. It's like starting to date someone and then finding out they're gay, asexual or lesbian, whether they know it or not. Not a fun situation for either party.

On a recent visit to Florida we ate at a very nice restaurant where the sign at the front door ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Yes, shoes and shirt required. Beyond that, they should not because more restrictive dress codes than that have often been used to discriminate against minority groups or other cultural groups, ie. hippies, that they owner doesn't like. The business has the legal right to go ahead and do this, but when they do, they deserve the protests, boycotts and other forms of condemnation that it will invite.

A good article about bad relationship habits: [getpocket.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Nothing surprising, all common sense, but most likely the exception out there in the world of dating and couples. Because no matter how many people boast in their profiles about what great families they have and how connected they are with them, the divorce rates and the % of people on dating sites that are divorced say different, at least to me. Maybe they're trying to convince themselves as well as me about what a great job their parents did in mentoring them on relationships, but I don't buy it for most of them. What would really impress me more on Match would be a woman with the guts, strength and insight to instead say in their profile essay that they have been to therapy and what they learned from it, in a paragraph. That woman would get my attention and interest for honesty and awareness. Would impress me a lot more than cliches about communication, being family-oriented, etc.

I admire mature communication when I find a woman I am interested in.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Man, can I relate.. .Sorry it's been so bad for you. I've been trading messages with a woman on Match for a couple days now and I think I'm going to just suggest we meet soon. Because even tho the chat has been going fine, we both agree that chemistry, physical attraction, or whatever term you want to use, is important. So I don't want to waste either of us's time messaging much further. She only has a photo of herself from the neck up while I, like most people, have several photos including a full body shot. If there's no mutual attraction that way, I'd rather find out sooner than get either of our hopes up.

The online dating "Scattershot Effect" Years ago i had this friend .

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Makes as much sense as anything else in the brutal funhouse mirror world of paid online dating sites. But if I were an expert, I would maybe find a way to improve my sorry lot on Match from a 90-95% failure rate on getting women to reply to my first messages and also would meet more than 5 women in 15 months. There must be a lot of jerks out there on the paid sites from the stories I hear from women. But it makes me wonder why and how all these jerks are out there actually meeting and going on real dates with women from the sites while it seems like most average guys like me spend about all our time on the sidelines waiting and hoping for our chance to date and instead just hearing the stories. I would love to know what the secret is of how those guys are so much more active than the average male member of the site. My intuition tells me that it's simply about having superior looks, but I'd like to think it's more complicated than that. Love to hear what others think.

How as athiest do you determine right from wrong ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 8, 2019:

The bedrock principle is does this harm other people? I'm talking about real harm, not offending someone's lack of humor or sense of distressed privilege.

Sometimes you just got to stop looking.?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

Nice thought and wish, but too naive and idealistic. The world never comes to you, you have to get out and meet it.

I was supposed to have a lunch date tomorrow.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

Wrong, I know damn well I have feelings, but I see your point. Sorry that, like me, you keep getting kicked in the gut over and over. Hope you have some better experiences soon and get your faith back. As for guys like him, they make me embarrassed to be male, tho maybe I shouldn't be. It's a bit like that line in The Shawshank Redemption, where Tim Robbins asks Morgan Freeman, who's told Robbins that a gang of gay rapists are out to get him and Robbins asks Freeman if it would help if he told them he wasn't gay. Freeman then says, "They'd have to be human first".

Living in San Diego and on the beach and still looking for a girlfriend.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

I never thought I would say this, but guys like him make me appreciate the 50-something cougars I'm seeing on Match. They at least have the looks to seem plausible that they could date a young guy in his mid-30s or early 40s without having to be a sugar mama.

Living in San Diego and on the beach and still looking for a girlfriend.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

I think he must have missed out on that recent post about the golddigger posting on her phone a tribute to her late sugar daddy on the anniv. of his death. It incurred a lot of disgust on this site, but was so touching and heartfelt it brought a tear to my eye, (sarcasm alert)..... But you're all right, he should have used a better photo and maybe also posted a copy of all his financial records. As Ronnie Raygun might have said, Experienced golddiggers trust, but always verify......... Thanks for all your comments, gang. This is the most laughs I've had all day.

Dixie, the country’s most divisive song

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

I hate that song too, but luckily, I rarely hear it. The two songs I really hate, besides other country songs in general, are the two I always hear sung at karaoke shows around 9-11 and the 4th of July, namely God Bless The USA by Lee Greenwood, which I call the unofficial redneck national anthem, and the Toby Keith song, Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue. What an asshole!

Arizona right-wing group sends armed man into church to yell at volunteers for helping migrants – ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

The guy should have been arrested for domestic terrorism. These guys as well as militant anti-abortion types are bullies and domestic terrorists, and should be treated as such, pure and simple. But they aren't because too many in our govt. share their views, so nothing happens to them and they just become more bold. I don't fear ISIS or groups from the MIddle East, I fear what these assholes are allowed to do here because the abortion nuts, if not the border nuts, have already killed people here.

Oh dear.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

Too bad for her. I never liked the anorexic look. Like most men I prefer some curves. Makes you wonder what drove her to overslim so much. The ? is, what's considered beautiful BY WHO?

How would you like to repeatedly get the same canned message?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

I agree with you. The opening message should be a whole paragraph and mention something that confirms they actually read your profile. The problem with some women I've run across on Match is that they really don't have much personal info in their profile essays or what they do have is all cliche stuff, ie. " I feel honest communication/chemistry/family/ is/are really important..." How do you comment on that without sounding insincere or offending them? My opening messages contain the following elements in a short paragraph: Hi_____ I noticed/liked ______________ in your profile. We seem to both like____ as well as have_# of common interests. Please see my profile and message me if interested. Thanks, Tom Considering that I send out a couple dozen of these a month and rarely get a response, I don't put that much time or effort into them. But using this method doesn't take much of either anyway. The opening message, as long as it has these elements in it, is not that important in whether you get a response from the woman, so it's not worth sweating over. What really matters is the profile essay and your pics. Those are what women use to decide whether to reject you or accept you for replying to for further study on their part. When I really think it thru, the most important thing for a man on a site like Match is their main profile photo, because if a woman is getting 100 messages a week from different men, as I've heard that some do, the pic determines if the woman even bothers to view your profile in the first place.

My 2 year goal.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

A land yacht that stores a car, I wouldn't have believed it.

If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy taken.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 7, 2019:

What I know is that when I was young and single, I was happy some of the time, unhappy the rest of it. I had friends, hobbies, school, work. Then I met my late wife when I was 36 and we clicked. Liked most of the same things, got what each other were really about and shared many good experiences until she got dementia in 2011. Since then, and esp. since 2015, when she had lost her personality and most of her mind, I have been pretty unhappy. She died two years ago. Who wouldn't be unhappy in my case? I just know that my first 12 years with her were the happiest of my life. I would like to meet someone compatible, not a clone of her, and have that shared life again. I don't think that I am that unusual or that my being unhappy is some sign that I haven't finished grieving her death and moved on. I have. I started grieving her death more like four or five years ago, when she lost most of who she was. With all due respect for your lifestyle and happiness, Jolanta, don't assume that I am wrong or dysfunctional because I want to have a partner again. Neither you or anyone else on this site, none of whom have ever met me, know me well enough to make that judgment. Some are happier sharing their lives with someone special, some aren't. I'm the former.

After hearing horror tales from my daughters, friends, and women on here, I feel compelled to put ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I'm glad to see the women on here who commented appear to have taken you at your word for this. I am the same kind of guy, but I have lost hope of meeting a woman from this site in my area. So that leaves me with Match. And, sad to say, I know damn well that even if I posted a copy of this for my profile on Match, the women on there are so cynical and/or shallow that it would do me no good. Most of them would assume I was lying about my character and personality qualities while the rest wouldn't care because I didn't have the looks and money (high value male) qualities they were looking for, among other traits, such as being family-oriented, drinking socially, liking country music and college sports, and being religious. And then, after instead of meeting and dating the men they rejected for other reasons, those same women likely sit around complaining about the character of the jerks they meet and end up dating......instead of ever taking a look at their own mindset.

Hi there, everyone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I can very much relate, but sad to say, at our age paid dating sites are really the only hope of meeting any compatible people if you are retired and don't go to a church. This site is only good for very long distance relationships, with a few exceptions. Local meetup groups, singles groups, volunteering and adult classes aren't going to work well either because, at least in my area, it's the same people who are on paid dating sites. May as well save the time, spend the money, and do it in one stop. Good luck. Your profile says you belong to a UU church. Don't worry, you can find a man there soon if you aren't really picky.

Social experiment.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

Seems too damn passive. Show a little guts. If you like a woman's profile, step up and send them a PM saying so and why if you're interested in dating or getting to know them. This wave thing is too much like the Wink or Like buttons on sites like Match. I don't bother with that crap because women are not going to respond to something as passive as that nor should they. It's not like this site is the same as Match, where there are lots of women in your area, so even if you send PMs it won't amount to that many of them or involve much time or effort. By the same token, I get about two or three Likes a month on Match and I almost never bother replying to them because it seems useless. Almost always it involves a woman who never even looked at my profile, but just clicked on Like after they saw my first name, age, city and main profile pic in their daily list of suggested matches. In other words they were just checking off that I was minimally acceptable to them. Also, in 15 months on Match, all but two of these likes were from women who were not at all physically attractive to me based on their pics. Of course, the two that were turned out to be women who were conservative and believers. Talk about fools gold......I did reply to them and told them why I wasn't interested.

Rant.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I'm so sorry it's pouring on you at this time. Seems bad stuff does happen in batches. Wonder if the newbie at work is connected to the person who made the decision or is just a kiss ass that got it that way. I do know in my work experience it always seemed like loyalty, dedication, and performance never mattered much in who got what from the bosses. Sucks to get used by bosses.

How did your closest friendship occur?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

Occured at a Unitarian church in my area in the early 90s when we were both single and part of a social group for young adults.

Whats it like having not settled down with a family by the time you are 30?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

Didn't get married until I was 41, never had kids. Guess I never gave a damn about conforming or pleasing people who didn't know me. But to be honest, I wanted to be married earlier than that, just never had any luck with the traditional, conservative women of Iowa. None of them would have me for a long term relationship because I didn't want to have kids or date a women with kids.

Social experiment.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I wish members on this site would always specify if they are referring to online activity on this site or some other site. Don't know which this guy is talking about.

This is me most days.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

People seldom wonder what I think or what I am saying, as I emphasize my points,

Evangelical Christians Helped Elect Donald Trump, but Their Time as a Major Political Force Is ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

The fact that so many fundys would vote for a man so clearly un-Christian, immoral, a pig in his relationships with women and a serial adulterer, a man who clearly worships only money, power and himself, and so vulgar in his language, shows that for all their piety they are just shallow hypocrites when it comes to their religion and that they would vote for Satan himself if he claimed he would push their agenda.

Where do you draw the line?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I didn't vote because my answer doesn't neatly fit into that poll. My late wife was 16 years older than me, but at that time I was a lot younger than now. At my present age, 60, I will only date 8 years older than me because at this stage of life, I don't want to end up a caretaker again with a partner so soon after my last turn. But I realize also at this stage, that I could be the one needing a caretaker just as much as my partner or that a woman even ten years older than me could be in great health and well out live me. So, I'm leaving the range at 8 years older to hedge my bets and ten years younger, knowing full well that few women that much younger will ever give me a look in these days of widespread cougaring among women 50-55 yo.

If necessary to testify in court would you put your hand on the bible?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I guess I would just tell them that I decline to do that because I don't believe in it and that also that I am the son of a judge and fully understand the importance of truth in courts, so they can each believe me or not.

I won the rat race! FuckingFlea (my petite tortie female cat) brought it into the house AND LET IT ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Learned something new. I always thought that all cats were killers of both mice and rats. Maybe it's just feral cats that actually live on mice, rats, and birds. I'd heard that feral cats are being captured these days and put to work as mousers to kill and eat mice and rats in buildings. Need to remember that, as a former friend of mine once said, " Even if you win the rat race, in the end, you're still a rat". Altho I think she was referring to the human "rat race". I'd like to see of photo of the cat.

We've had quite a bit of political sniping going on with our great community in the past two or more...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

I have already said plenty on the boards to reveal my politics, but I'll start by saying I despise liberalism simply because, as Chris Hedges says, it no longer stands for anything besides identity politics and multiculturalism, instead of opposing capitalism or endless war for empire and oil. I support policies of democratic socialism such as Bernie Sanders only I also believe, unlike him, in opposing the military industrial complex. Liberalism doesn't go far enough to oppose and fight back against the class warfare of the rich and corporations against everyone but the top 10%. I would like to see the US have a form of socialism like Scandanvia, where corporations are actually regulated, the rich actually pay their share, and banks and corporations do not own the govt. Lastly, I would like campaign reform where campaigns are much shorter and regulated, like in the UK, to only last for a few months and that all campaigns for federal office, at least, are publicly financed for all candidates who can meet a modest threshold of support, say 15%, in polls. No corporate money allowed for campaigns, low limits on individual contributions and free air time on TV for all candidates who meet the above threshold. With election reform like this, we would actually have governments that reflected the will of the people instead of just the wealthiest and most powerful. In turn, they would serve the common good instead of just the interests of the elite. I am very pessimistic about the future tho. Before the rich and corporations would ever allow this to happen, I think the US would see martial law, a military crackdown with militarized police and troops in the streets, and a dictatorship running things while we waited to see if the masses would resist with general strikes and protests to demand an end to it. Still better than the violent form of revolution the fascists in charge are hoping will happen so they can mow us down with the tools they already have prepared, like the Patriot Act and militarized police forces. The Occupy movement and how it was crushed are a preview of what I'm talking about.

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TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Too bad in my experience on Match, few women apply her method. They use the site like it's shopping on Amazon. My zero dates-coffee meetings in my term, did go ok because by then I had probably already screened out the kind of women that would use them as job interviews rather than real, honest conversations. The problem is finding women on Match that are not shopping and swiping like she advised against. Those women appear to be a very small minority and it's hard to get their attention and interest if you have just average looks and money. Tons of better -looking guys with more money, ie, high value guys in the terms of the modern paradigm of classes and leagues.

So.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Same shit, different day. But I did enjoy getting together last night at karaoke with two make friends who sing.

Elizabeth Warren: 'No To The Billionaires' Funding Politics | Rachel Maddow | MSNBC - YouTube

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Much as she would be an improvement as a nominee for the Dems or as a president than Hillary, I am skeptical about whether she can be trusted by progressives if she actually got power. Largely because she had her chance last time when she could have supported Bernie during the primaries, when it actually mattered and could have swung the nomination, instead of supporting Hillary like she did. To me that smacks of being a selfish opportunist who did the calculated thing to ensure her own chances later on rather than support the progressive at the time who shared so many of her positions. A few of my friends are going to see her today in my area and are acting ga ga like she's some rock star. I wish I could be that enthusiastic and illusioned, but I've seen this movie before. I won't be surprised if she deters Bernie from running again or even if he does, the two of them will split the primary votes of progressive Dems and we will once again end up with a corrupt, non-inspiring Dem nominee, namely Biden, who will lose to Trump. Having said all that, I would vote for Warren if she was the nominee, over Trump, but I would hold my breath about expecting much progressive about her is she did become Prez. She's too quick to compromise and sell out. I volunteered in Bernie's campaign then and I won't this time because he caved and endorsed Hillary after the primary instead of following his progressive values and taking the offer to run as the Green Party's candidate. So I won't volunteer for him or Warren this time around. Fool me once.....

What is your biggest pet peeve when going to the grocery store?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Country music being played at the Fareway store.

Women, how do you explain to others that catcalling isn't a compliment?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

I've heard that in Italy-don't know if this is still true- men would clap or applaud if an attractive women walked down the street. That would seem more respectful, but I suppose even that would seem to rude to feminists who hate being objectified.

Whether be believe in a women choice or right over her own body, the republicans and their wealthy ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Call me a hopeless cynic, but even tho I am very aware and supportive of PP and abortion rights groups, I seriously doubt the Repubs will ever get Roe V Wade overturned because even tho they have had the votes on the Supreme Court to do it for a long time, they know it would kill the Repub party with female voters, so they just use the issue to fire up their base, raise money and get volunteers from Bible-thumpers, and get anti-abortion voters to volunteer and vote for them on that issue. If abortion were actually outlawed, millions of women would suddenly become single issue voters and throw the Repubs out of power for a long time or permanently. It would be like what happened to the Dems in the South after they passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. They permanently lost the South and the Repubs know outlawing abortion would cost them the fed govt.

Has anyone ever thought about rediscovering religion or thought about going back to the Church?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

I'm thinking of going back next Sun. to the Unitarian church that I'm still technically a member of, even tho I haven't been in there for over a year. Thinking of going because I'm just too isolated, even tho I am very turned off by some of the people and the interim minister. But this really doesn't count as the kind of church you all are talking about.

Just after I moved into my present location (2013) I started dating a gentleman.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

Not surprising. I bet he literally died of a broken heart. He was nuts to try dating within weeks after being widowed and his behavior bore that out. I'm amazed you gave him a chance, no criticism meant of you. My wife died two years ago and I get the feeling that most women won't date a guy until he's been widowed at least two years, figure he's still grieving and not ready. Plus, it seems most women wait much longer than even that before they try dating, more like 5 years or more. I'd love to hear if these averages fit their experience.

If you are in a relationship and could have sex on the side and be guaranteed not be caught, would ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

Wondering when we're going to hear from nick.......

Watch who you say Hello to.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

No, the really scary situation for watching who you say hello to is that old cartoon in which everybody, including all the mouth-breathing yahoos, is carrying firearms. The caption reads, "An armed society is a polite society". Yeah, right...

If you are in a relationship and could have sex on the side and be guaranteed not be caught, would ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

The vast majority of people are found to be operating at a moral level of conformity or just doing whatever won't get them in trouble. I used to be fascinated by this subject, which was best researched by Lawrence Kolhberg quite a while ago using different hypo ?s like this. His research, like Dave's point below, is not very encouraging...... In my local area, there's a guy that I used to really like as a political activist that even ran for governor, a real Green Party type and progressive. Then, soon after that, I and other lefties around me found out that he had started cheating on his longtime wife with a woman that was a fellow activist in an activist group they were both involved in while his wife was at home too busy with the kids for politics. He later divorced his wife and married the activist. After that, no matter how much I agree with his politics, I will no longer respect or trust that man on anything because he held himself up as having such superior integrity to the other pols about how he couldn't be bought or bribed, but in the end he was just another fraud, like John Edwards. Poetically just, he married the woman he cheated with and SHE divorced him about a year later. Nowadays, the lefties around here see him as a joke and rightly so....

If you are in a relationship and could have sex on the side and be guaranteed not be caught, would ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

Here we go- let the posturing begin....I'm assuming nick, that you are talking about a relationship that is mutually agreed to be monogamous. If that's the case, for me the answer would be NO. One, I desire integrity in both myself and in a partner. So whether I got caught or not would not matter. I would know, would feel guilt (hey, I grew up Catholic and that part never left me), and it would soon affect my relationship, not worth it for all those reasons. I would hope that my future partner would feel the same about doing that to me and about being monogamous. I may not be rich, I may not be good-looking, I may not be the smartest person in the room, but damn, I love feeling morally superior to most Americans and I know in my heart that I am. Doing this selfish exercise in cheating would also cost me this perverse self-satisfaction. As my late wife said, I am as loyal and honest as the family dog. I make no judgment about relationships that are poly, open, or whatever else because adults have the right to choose what works and make their own agreements. The point is about living up to your agreements. Now I will read the members comments.....

And yet these folks still go to church and get nothing in return

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 3, 2019:

Not all churches are holy roller, or into faith-healing.

Well I'm scrolling around and figure this is a good place to express myself about feeling bad about ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2019:

Thanks for sharing. I read your profile and you have led an interesting life. As far as friends, it really does become a couples world socially at our age, when we no longer meet people thru work or school. I totally hear you about loneliness. Friends are hard to make. I'm lucky I met a male married friend in the last year from a local film discussion club, spend time with him often and a female friend from a singles group in the same year, see her once in a while. But that's been it since I made all the rest of my current friends from here back in the early 90s. Then they all got married around the same time as me and all had kids, which still occupies all of them a lot. So I rarely see them, not their fault, just the way it is. I never had kids and neither did my late wife. So now, I'm the first one widowed and here we are. Yup, I get it K. Making new friends is just not easy for most of us. You seem very intelligent and I am not going to waste your time giving you advice on making them or meeting people. You'll figure it out. I wish you better luck in the future. K- I did some thinking on this and am going to contradict myself a bit, hope it helps. You seem very passionate about art, as was my late wife. She made some friends by getting involved with a local art gallery's programs and maybe there is a local artist's group you could join. That way you are around people that share your passion as well an interest that is worthwhile to you, no matter what happens with finding friends or a partner. Also, same thing with groups that aid animals.

What You Need to Know About the Nice Girl Who’s Unbelievably Tough – Mind Activist

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2019:

Sounds like the unicorn of women, esp. if she's good-looking. Because people with great looks often don't get hurt as much as the rest of us and thus also don't develop as much depth of character or empathy.

Something happened the other day which upset me very much.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2019:

Your experience is very common, I'm now experiencing it some in the very rare times I spend with married friends. As a longtime single former friend once said to a group of married couples that included me then, those people at your gathering were all part of what this friend called " the smug marrieds". They don't get where single people are at these days because they were single too long ago and the scene has changed a lot since then. You won't get much empathy or support from them, so don't torture yourself seeking it from them. I'm lucky that I have a widowed woman my age, a married guy my age, and two other friends my age that are social workers (very caring and empathetic on all things) that I can discuss single life with and be validated and supported. But I am more fortunate than most singles in that respect. That's one thing therapists are for.

Ahhhh, I joined yet another dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2019:

I was on OT for six months. It was worse than Match because there were not only way more scammers, but the site didn't seem to even try to get rid of them or watch for them. I may have to switch tho from Match to OT in the next couple years tho because it's starting to look like I'm getting too old for Match. Even tho I am willing to date someone 8 years older than me, which would be 68, Match seems to be running out of women in my area that are in their mid to late 60s. And I've had no luck with women in my area that are younger than 60, my age. So, like in foster care, I appear to be aging out of the program, at least as long as most women in my area and age range refuse to date men who are more than a few years older than them.

There's a saying I'm fond of that goes "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2019:

Most learning happens outside of it, I'm convinced of that.

Cheesus Crust the 'faithfools' are getting a bit desperate around here.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2019:

You could have quoted the immortal words of ZZTop and said, "Jesus just left Chicago". lol.

So you wouldn't mind meeting a guy but you only get to choose them online from pix.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 1, 2019:

With paid dating sites, we all choose based on a combo of looks and profile, but I suspect that with many people, esp. attractive-looking women, that if the person's main photo isn't attractive enough, the profile never gets viewed. I base that on my own experience as well as what others have shared on this site. By paid sites, I mean ones unlike this that are only about dating.

Happy New Year (and Jewish New Year!) from the Reno Sheriff’s Department - RENO 911! ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 1, 2019:

That show is just too funny! I miss having new episodes.

Well folks, for the first time in years, I'm going out tonight for New Year's Eve! And not to some ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 1, 2019:

You're living my dream. Wish I had a bunch of women to go hang with.

Anyone spending New Years alone?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 1, 2019:

I'm watching a Twilight Zone marathon and reading alone.

Why is it that a woman should be taken seriously about sexual harassment or assault, but a person of...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 1, 2019:

Esp. in cases of a white woman making the accusation, I guess you could chalk up the difference to white privilege. I know from experience that most white people are unaware or in denial of their privilege regarding race.

Just curious what everyone is doing on a Monday night New Years Eve.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

Find someone compatible and physically attractive to date, even if it doesn't end up long term, tho I hope it would. Not holding my breath. What am I doing? I'm watching a Twilight Zone marathon on TV and feeling bummed that for a lot of years until a few years ago, my late wife and I would spend this night together with three other couples who all met around the same time my wife and I met and kept up the tradition for 20 years. It sucks to be in a couples world. All but one of my friends is married. Last year was the same for me. My wife was in her final year of suffering from dementia and she died two years ago next Sun.. Thanks for asking Misty.

How old/young were you when you realized you were atheist/agnostic?

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

Early to mid-20s, coincided with college education.

I just turned on the "open to dating " section of my profile.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

I've had no luck at all with trying to meet any women from this site. Only a handful listed for my area in my age range and when I messaged most of them, they all ended up rejecting me without meeting. Have met several women who lived far away that seemed compatible and interested in me if we lived nearby, but all we've done is be Agnostic pen pals. Much as it sucks, Match is my only real chance at my age for at least the next few years or more unless I start attending the Unitarian church again. In my local area for my age group, the men outnumber the women 2-1 on this site.

One of the things I've always noticed about the bible belt is they have a grudge against "book ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

That is mostly true and it is based on envy and fear of those with more education than them, tho the people with less education would probably not admit that either is the case.

Advice for the ladies. ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

I would love to meet a woman on Match that will write in real, meaningful paragraphs when they message me. When they don't it feels like they are too busy to actually communicate meaningfully, too guarded to be open, too selfish or arrogant to share equally, or too lazy to show a good attention span. So, to address AmmaRe's point, no, they don't need to be a talented writer to be compatible with me, but when they show these traits in their written communication it may well be a sign of personality traits that ARE a dealbreaker sooner or later. Which is why a phone call or face to face as soon as the other person is willing is a good idea because those two give you an even better read on them. Interestingly enough, whenever I have traded PMs with women on this site-as only platonic friends or pen pals- they always have communicated well by writing paragraphs and answering all questions, so that tells me that what I encounter on Match is more a matter of personality and attitude than gender or even age, because even tho women on paid dating sites get lots of messages and are busy trying to answer them, the women on this site are often busy too. So I think it's more an issue of whether communicating with you is that important to them or not.

And it's all true.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

It was a great time to be a straight white Christian male, everybody else, not so much.

Elizabeth Warren anounces presidential run

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

The Dems would be wise to nominate her and not treat her like they did Bernie or nominate some corporate Dem like Biden, because only a progressive candidate is going to beat Trump, unlikely as that may sound. People have seen thru the lies of the corporate Dems.

What the religious doesn’t understand that all of us would believe if the real God just showed up.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

I always liked that old joke, "Jesus is coming, so look busy....and boy is he pissed off!".

SO why is the USA in Afghanistan?

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

The same reasons we have invaded any countries since Korea, empire and minerals, usually oil.

Religion based misogyny

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

Hell yeah!

I was a Cable Guy. I saw the worst of America.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2018:

Very insightful article about how the elite and upper middle class treat the servant/service worker class as well as how corporate America treats its employees like machines or robots that are all expendable and replaceable. I have always, as a socialist, thought that workers in physically demanding jobs should have a lower retirement age, like they do in Europe, than those in desk or non-physical jobs. The reason being that death and disability often come earlier to people with a career in those jobs than the rest of us. So the fair thing would be to not penalize them for dying younger or having their bodies wear out sooner than other workers. Why should they have to spend all or most of their retirement years with already wrecked bodies? Unless of course, the intent of government is to save money on them by making them wait to retire later than they should and not having to be disabled first. I bet this woman's employer made it very hard to retire on disability for work related injuries or conditions. Electricians are another field that working in it as a career usually means your knees and back are shot by age 55.

Just now, listening to some awesome music, I realized that after losing my brother and my wife of 35...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 30, 2018:

What are you listening to? Just curious..

Advice for the ladies. ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Goes both ways. I find it really irritating when I am trading messages with a woman on a dating site and they always reply in very short, text style messages with very brief sentences when I make it obvious I would like them to open up at least a bit more. Plus, they will ignore or fail to respond to much of the content I put into a paragraph length message. Double standard anyone? I doubt that in most cases they are too busy to actually write in paragraphs and reply to the whole message I write, or is this a double standard that guys are just supposed to accept?

Hi everyone! I’m in a dilemma and hoping that I can get some feedback.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Everybody is different. In my experience, with online dating, which I assume is how you met this guy, is that first you trade a few messages. Then you either meet for coffee or something short or else have a phone call before meeting in person. If you have had a few long phone calls, I'm suspecting something may be wrong with this guy. Maybe he is married and afraid of being spotted with you. Maybe his photos are old or bogus and is afraid you will be disappointed in his looks. It sounds like he knows you as well as he's going to before meeting you in person. It's not you, he's hiding something or he would be eager to meet you in person. I'd be tempted to let him go, but if you choose not to, look out. I would expect that this guy will stand you up if you push him into agreeing to meet you. Hadn't considered it, but others brought it up. A man who is reluctant to meet in person may be a scammer. If he asks you for money, you have your answer.

Signs You Might Be Middle-Aged

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Some, but pleasantly surprised I don't do most of them....yet...

Lesson learned: When a woman tells you not to date a man because xyz, find out if xyz is actually ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 30, 2018:

True, gossip (not saying this was the case with you) is not always true and can be motivated by selfishness, jealousy, etc., so be careful in acting upon it.

So, what kind of music does everybody like the best, I love a good musical discussion so please go ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Hate country, don't like classical or rap, like about everything else, at least in moderation. Favorites are classic rock and alternative rock.