For all women out there

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 17, 2019:

I would not mind at all if a woman pursued me. I would be flattered and not think any less or differently of her for doing that. Also, it might be a good empathy-building experience for her to better understand how it is for men having to do the pursuing in real life or on dating sites. Might get ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

@Doraz Maybe so. I am just going by what other women on Agnostic have said about their online dating experiences.

Black Missouri drivers 91% more likely to be stopped, state attorney general finds | PBS NewsHour

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 17, 2019:

I am shocked, shocked I say, that law enforcement in Missouri would stop people for DWB.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

@GreenAtheist That's why I admired the Black Panthers arming themselves back in the day. Definitely showed the cops they would not be passive victims. Too bad the FBI massacred them.

Black Missouri drivers 91% more likely to be stopped, state attorney general finds | PBS NewsHour

gearl comments on Jun 17, 2019:

We watched a movie the other evening called: "The Hate You Give." If anybody gets the chance I recommend it as it strongly portrays the effects of this issue.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

I did. I defy any white person with a heart and a brain to watch it without wanting to cry or crying, or, for that matter, still believe that white privilege does not exist. White privilege is not all about having more financially or materially than poor blacks. It is mainly about not being harassed or followed by law enforcement or store employees for being white or being shot by law enforcement while unarmed for being black. Those things are the most important parts of white privilege.

Is it too much to expect one man to be satisfied with one woman?

Marcie1974 comments on Jun 16, 2019:

I get so sick of people saying “ biologically men want to plant their seed in as many women as possible.” Really???? Supposedly we (atheists) all believe in evolution but we don’t think men have evolved to monogamy? Bull shit. I know men who are monogamous and completely devoted to their ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

@Marcie1974 Don't mention it. But I wouldn't put much stock in my opinion as it seems women on dating sites either think I am a chump loser or incel, or else a complete liar who isn't a nice guy at all. It's nice to feel appreciated by at least some women who are attractive.

We Have Five Years To Save Ourselves From Climate Change, Harvard Scientist Says

Sticks48 comments on Jun 16, 2019:

I think we are screwed too. The Earth does not care. We have too many folks on this planet and the planet will thin out the herd. I believe it is inevitable. I don't have children, but I do have friends with children and grandchildren. I do have a real concern that both, especially their ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

@Geoffrey51 I think it was Krushev talking about nuclear war, who said, " The living will envy the dead".

We Have Five Years To Save Ourselves From Climate Change, Harvard Scientist Says

Sticks48 comments on Jun 16, 2019:

I think we are screwed too. The Earth does not care. We have too many folks on this planet and the planet will thin out the herd. I believe it is inevitable. I don't have children, but I do have friends with children and grandchildren. I do have a real concern that both, especially their ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

@Emerald Great minds think alike. Every time I sing that song at karaoke here in Iowa, people look at me like I've gone off my meds.....

Is it too much to expect one man to be satisfied with one woman?

Marcie1974 comments on Jun 16, 2019:

I get so sick of people saying “ biologically men want to plant their seed in as many women as possible.” Really???? Supposedly we (atheists) all believe in evolution but we don’t think men have evolved to monogamy? Bull shit. I know men who are monogamous and completely devoted to their ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 17, 2019:

A real man is ready to turn in their players card once they reach middle age, at least, and be monogamous. I think most men are by middle age.

Life is too short to worry about....

Ms_McSteven comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Only reason I'm still here. Can I get a show of hands of all those who haven't blocked me (yet)?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 16, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven I've always said that finding the right partner is not about finding someone emotionally healthy, but finding one that has matching neuroses with you, lol!

We Have Five Years To Save Ourselves From Climate Change, Harvard Scientist Says

Sticks48 comments on Jun 16, 2019:

I think we are screwed too. The Earth does not care. We have too many folks on this planet and the planet will thin out the herd. I believe it is inevitable. I don't have children, but I do have friends with children and grandchildren. I do have a real concern that both, especially their ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 16, 2019:

Interesting that you are childless or childfree, like me. No wonder we click so well. I agree with you, once again. Like Bowie used to sing, " We've got five years.....". The older I get, the more I take comfort in the things I will not be alive to see and suffer......

Life is too short to worry about....

Ms_McSteven comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Only reason I'm still here. Can I get a show of hands of all those who haven't blocked me (yet)?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 16, 2019:

I'm reading this and replying to it, so, no, I haven't blocked you yet. In fact, you are one of the voices of sanity that I am least likely to ever block or be blocked by.

Does anyone else struggle with hating religion?

Piratefish comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Most days I don't even think about it. It's only when something particularly egregious is done from religion, and it gets a free pass, that it rankles me at all. I am far more bothered by the ease with which the economic and political elite have managed to divide the American people, how they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 16, 2019:

@Piratefish Seems like most of those that read it are those interested in doing evil.

Does anyone else struggle with hating religion?

Piratefish comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Most days I don't even think about it. It's only when something particularly egregious is done from religion, and it gets a free pass, that it rankles me at all. I am far more bothered by the ease with which the economic and political elite have managed to divide the American people, how they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 16, 2019:

Religion is the opiate of the masses, as Marx said, but hate and fear are the tools of the elite to divide, conquer and control the masses. As long as most people lack critical thinking skills, these tools will continue to work.

This sounds great to me!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 15, 2019:

Too good to be true, at least of the women I have run across on Match. Unlike me, they pretty much seem to be very materialistic, not that my late wife didn't like nice things, but things were not what made her happy or what she valued with other people. She could be good friends with people that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 15, 2019:

@GreenAtheist I suggest you switch to decaf.....

This sounds great to me!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 15, 2019:

Too good to be true, at least of the women I have run across on Match. Unlike me, they pretty much seem to be very materialistic, not that my late wife didn't like nice things, but things were not what made her happy or what she valued with other people. She could be good friends with people that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 15, 2019:

@GreenAtheist Thanks for editing.

This sounds great to me!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 15, 2019:

Too good to be true, at least of the women I have run across on Match. Unlike me, they pretty much seem to be very materialistic, not that my late wife didn't like nice things, but things were not what made her happy or what she valued with other people. She could be good friends with people that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 15, 2019:

@GreenAtheist Larry, I respect and share much of your passion regarding abortion rights and the rights of women in general, as well as loathing for Kim Reynolds, but please, do not use the c-word in reference to one of my comments. I never use that word in public or private and it offends me, even tho I'm male. Yes, she and Joni Ernst have betrayed women repeatedly, but no one deserves to be called that. Thank you in advance for either deleting or editing your comment.

This sounds great to me!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 15, 2019:

Too good to be true, at least of the women I have run across on Match. Unlike me, they pretty much seem to be very materialistic, not that my late wife didn't like nice things, but things were not what made her happy or what she valued with other people. She could be good friends with people that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 15, 2019:

@GreenAtheist Not sure what all your comment is saying, but you're right about the Dutch women in the Pella area. I don't even bother messaging any of them on Match because, to me, the fact that they still live in that very uptight, traditional, smug conservative town tells me all I need to know about whether I would fit with them.

My appointment for LASIX eye surgery is in less than 12 hours, I’m nervous and excited.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 14, 2019:

I'm too chickenshit to take even the small risk of Lasik surgery when I can see fine with my bifocal glasses. I will hold of the Lasik until I develop cataracts when I am older, then I will get that done together with it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 14, 2019:

@GwenBFree What is mono vision?

I just found out that my oldest son's wife left him.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 12, 2019:

Glad that I am done with my family once the funeral day is over next week. After that, there's really nothing left except attending a few funerals unless I decide to come visit my siblings or their spouses if they get gravely ill and only if they ask me to visit.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 12, 2019:

@GreenAtheist My other siblings attended my late wife's memorial service and conducted themselves appropriately, as also did my father. My younger sister did the no show, no notify or explanation. She recently apologized to me about it, but I took it as too late and insincere. It's much more complex than just being about religion, but I don't want to go into it here on the boards. My two younger siblings actually seem to be fairly non-religious.

Iowa voter: Trump’s lies don’t change my vote for him Now what else we democrats need to ...

SeaGreenEyez comments on Jun 11, 2019:

I don't know who these "people" are that you're typing of. I don't know *anyone* that isn't more concerned about policy than personality. You're referencing a small sample in Iowa. That's Iowa. 85% White, Non-Hispanic High school education or higher in people under 25, 91% High school...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 12, 2019:

I agree that CNN is very centrist, not liberal, no matter what Fox News says, and that there seemed to be little to no progressives in the focus group except the Warren supporter.

According to US media, sex = love = marriage.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Well, all that really cheered me up for today. Moving onto sex, which only happens with me after I've known a woman a while, does mean something to me. But I agree with you that it doesn't mean much to most people, including most of the women I am interested in from online dating or meet ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@birdingnut You imply that you are rather cynical about men in general, and that you doubt that I am a kind, caring sort of man, to quote you. No, I am not in high demand, whether I should be or not. But, as Sticks says, it goes both ways birdingnut. How do you know that most women are not just targeting only "hot"men? Because it sure seems that way on Match in my area. But, because I like to be blunt and honest, I will answer your implied accusation with as specific an answer as possible, even tho the nature of it will offend some people on here. I rate my own looks as a 5-6. The women I message and reach out to on Match would probably be rated by most people as anywhere from 5-8, with my messaging about equal to women from the low to the high end of those numbers. I even had a dating coach look at my messaging on Match and part of that was her checking to see if I was trying too much to date out of my league when it came to looks. Her answer was that I was doing that some of the time, but not enough for her to see it as a problem. I bet that is true of most people in online dating, both male and female. Research studies have proven that everyone does that. Make of it what you will, but I don't feel I am hypocritical at all. More likely, I think you are the one with issues regarding the opposite sex. You and sweetcharlotte can shove your cynical attitude towards me. Time to block you both after you read this.

It's Muuundaaaay

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

# According to Sesame Street it's --

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@WonderWartHog99 See, I figured there are some exceptions, married women who are happy or at least prefer it to being out in the minefields of dating again. But the fact that they are exceptions explains why there is so much divorce.

It's Muuundaaaay

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

# According to Sesame Street it's --

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@WonderWartHog99 I assume that, as always, you're joking. I would rather see you get another cat than another woman.

Getting the most out of Agnostic.com

avron comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Look to the greats for inspiration. Consider Alexander the Great who enjoyed libations in excess and in a raging drunk ran his friend Cleitus through with a spear and then cried over the bloody carcass. Chicks dig that shit. Otherwise, if the nights grow too long and lonely, you can do what I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@avron Sure, send me a PM with it. Glad you made the move to the city. BTW, I've seen the TV ads for FarmersOnly and it looks like a scam, with the average-looking guy and his dating site wife who looks like Jerri Ryan. Yeah, I'm sure that's going to happen for every guy on the site, lol.......

Iowa voter: Trump’s lies don’t change my vote for him Now what else we democrats need to ...

SeaGreenEyez comments on Jun 11, 2019:

I don't know who these "people" are that you're typing of. I don't know *anyone* that isn't more concerned about policy than personality. You're referencing a small sample in Iowa. That's Iowa. 85% White, Non-Hispanic High school education or higher in people under 25, 91% High school...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

I'm with you on that. I don't personally know anyone who votes more on personality than on policy, but that's because I am pretty offbeat from most of America, esp. Iowa, so these shallow people are not the type I would get to know or be friends with. I have run across lots of people here tho that are that dim and shallow about politics that they vote more on personality, and party label, than on policy. The public schools in Iowa do a good job in teaching kids math and literacy, but unless someone goes to college or does a lot of self education, which only a minority of about 25% of those living here do, you never develop critical thinking skills. In fact, a lot of college grads still get by without developing critical thinking skills and that's one of the main reasons our politics are so FU.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

What a shameless bunch of arrogant, insensitive assholes. It's like having a white pride rally. One reason I have no interest in NASCAR, probably the whitest sport left in America. I really dislike rednecks and their culture, hence my loathing of NASCAR.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@oldFloyd That's true, right turns would be more fitting for their politics.

Getting the most out of Agnostic.com

avron comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Look to the greats for inspiration. Consider Alexander the Great who enjoyed libations in excess and in a raging drunk ran his friend Cleitus through with a spear and then cried over the bloody carcass. Chicks dig that shit. Otherwise, if the nights grow too long and lonely, you can do what I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

Your idea for coping with loneliness sounds like something out of the FarmersOnly.com commercial. I feel for you, as I live in Iowa. No way I could live in rural anywhere.....

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

IamNobody comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Fair question... Why is it ok for one side of the aisle to have a pride badge but not ok for the other side? (Note I haven't even said which side is which... No need for that, it should be the same both ways)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@michaelinlivonia Yes, I concede that poor whites are not very privileged overall and that they pose a contradiction to the concept of white privilege, but tell me this. Can you honestly say that poor whites are still likely to get followed around a store by the staff simply because they are in there? Or that they are as likely as blacks to get stopped by cops for simply driving normally or being in the wrong neighborhood? Or, if they are young and male, as likely to get shot by cops for no reason when they are stopped by police? Those may not seem like much, but they are privileges based on race, nonetheless......Also, I don't buy your wholesale judgment of poor people, white or otherwise, having and deserving their fate based solely on poor choices and/or some culture of poverty. You are classist beyond belief. As soon as you read and respond to this, I will be blocking you. Hope you never end up poor like the people you despise.

Look at the fine print

GEGR comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Sounds like every Lawyer I have ever dealt with .

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

Damn lawyers. Just like that law firm from Car Talk, Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe........

WHO’S DATING “LOCAL?

Susieq comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I dated a nice fellow from this site several times, but had to let him go as I was getting involved with a fellow atheist from my Senior Center. Still involved , going on 6 months.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Susieq Of course you do, because it's Cali, not Iowa. These people at my local senior center are all way older than me and are still stuck in the 1950s like it's fucking Mayberry on the Andy Griffith show, probably because that's how my town was when they were young and it was small hick town of about 10K population. Now it's 60k and a suburb for yuppies, Repubs, and lots of churches. I am an alienated transplant from another part of Iowa that only remains here because I am tired of having to move so often in the last several years due to my late wife's dementia, so I'm taking a long break before I move to a hipster neighborhood in Des Moines eventually. In the meantime, when I go to the senior center here just to get a free lunch, I will continue to sit by myself and eat alone, because I don't need to make more friends there and trying to do so would probably be useless as all of these people appear to have never gone to college or ever lived anywhere but here, so no wonder they are so stuck in the past. I don't cook much, so I put up with the environment for the free lunches.

I think its easier to stand up for someone else than it is to stand up for yourself.

Paracosm comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Truish.... Usually I've been standing up for people who couldn't stand up for themselves and it pissed me off that others took advantage.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

Glad you are the way you are. Most people don't have that much of a conscience or care much about justice. It's probably good that you live in Oregon, because if you lived in the Midwest or the South you would be appalled and disgusted with how most people treat others on this issue.

I think its easier to stand up for someone else than it is to stand up for yourself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Boy is that the fucking truth. I spent most of my life waiting for other people to come to bat for me or stand up for me when I was being mistreated or wronged and no one ever did. So finally I decided to quit waiting and start standing up for myself and fighting back when I was mistreated, never ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven Glad you and the one brother became good friends. I will have no contact with my siblings after my father's funeral, as I don't believe in pretending with people that just don't get me, respect or accept me, or genuinely want to be in my life. Even if they did, want to, it would only be if completely on their terms, which would be very superficial and require me to do a lot of self-censoring. I'm just too stubborn and selfish, I suppose, to agree to that. If they can't at least accept and treat me as well as my friends already do, what do I need them for, because they are accidentally related to me by blood? That's not enough in my book.

It's Muuundaaaay

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Glad I'm retired. I remember how some working days I almost needed to be reminded that stabbing people is wrong, lol!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@WonderWartHog99 That is quite disturbing, but not very surprising.....

I think its easier to stand up for someone else than it is to stand up for yourself.

Ms_McSteven comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Most people mind their own business. They don't like to get involved in things that don't concern them personally. The relationship needs to be very close to become anyone's "fighting partner". I stand up for myself with ease, but I've had to do it since I was a toddler growing up with a ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven Thank you, it was not an easy choice, but it was the right one. The cost was that I was alone, as far as dating, most of the time until I was 37, because when I was young all the women I met before my late wife only wanted to seriously date or marry men who wanted kids. Since I didn't want to be a step parent or make babies with anyone, women my age would not date me for very long or seriously since they always either had kids already or wanted them. Here in the Midwest, the cultural pressure to have kids and be family-oriented is very strong and pervasive, which is why the only women I have met that don't buy into that have been transplants from either coast, like my late wife. This reverence of kids and family have made me feel, among other reasons, fairly alienated from the mainstream culture in Iowa my whole life. But my own experience in my family of origin provided me plenty of reason to reject the whole culture of kids and family that others here buy into. The funny thing is that, even at my current age, at least here in Iowa, the women my age on sites like Match only want to date a family man, even the ones without kids, at home or grown, so childless guys like me need not apply. De Javu all over again, as Yogi Berra used to say.......

It's Muuundaaaay

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

# According to Sesame Street it's --

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@WonderWartHog99 My neighbor has some of each of those, but I still like her, and I think her cat does her some good. However her cat is old and sick and she has said she will not replace the cat when it dies, so I feel bad for her and wonder how she'll be then.

America's Real Economy: It Isn't Booming

Moravian comments on Jun 10, 2019:

It is reckoned that by 2020 40% of Americans will be working in the gig economy. Low wages and no job security. Hardly a booming economy

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Keita No shit....

I think its easier to stand up for someone else than it is to stand up for yourself.

Ms_McSteven comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Most people mind their own business. They don't like to get involved in things that don't concern them personally. The relationship needs to be very close to become anyone's "fighting partner". I stand up for myself with ease, but I've had to do it since I was a toddler growing up with a ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

Very true about most people. They are too selfish and gutless to get involved with others being mistreated. They only look out for or get involved if involves their close friends. Those people don't have any real principles that I can feel positive about and thusly, they are not the kind of people I would want as friends, since they are ultimately too selfish for me. I had a fairly similar family experience growing up, but it took me longer than you to learn how to defend myself. Until I was middle aged, I was not comfortable being assertive or defending myself. As a child living at home in my family, I was not able to stand up for myself at all until I was a teenager and, even tho I was still not ready to defend myself verbally against my father being abusive, I did finally hit him back, which I think was shocking to him. It was the last time he ever hit me.

I think its easier to stand up for someone else than it is to stand up for yourself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Boy is that the fucking truth. I spent most of my life waiting for other people to come to bat for me or stand up for me when I was being mistreated or wronged and no one ever did. So finally I decided to quit waiting and start standing up for myself and fighting back when I was mistreated, never ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven That has certainly been my experience. The victim is blamed and the bully gets a pass, esp. in the workplace, even if it isn't the boss.

The opposite of addiction is not sobriety but connection. What do you think? [facebook.com]

Jolanta comments on Jun 11, 2019:

Yes, I completely agree that connection and feeling that you belong is what is missing.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

I agree and also think that another main component of addiction is shame about oneself, atho in some addicts it is deeply buried. Building healthy connections with others helps overcome and bring people out of that shame.

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

Pralina1 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

12 years divorced , living alone , and even if lonely some x , still , I love it . Me and my dogs , life is quiet but not bad !

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@NoMagicCookie I don't doubt that at all.

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

of-the-mountain comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I am alone, not lonely! One must learn the difference!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@A2Jennifer I can only imagine. Being widowed after a good marriage is not fun, esp. if you really enjoyed being married. I know that some men don't enjoy being married, even to someone compatible, because it goes against their nature. Not me. And no, my wife was not a caretaker type either. If anything, being with her toughened me up, which made both of us happier.

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

Booklover comments on Jun 10, 2019:

After my divorce I live alone. The first time ever, went from my Mom's house to my husband's house at 19. 35 years married. I love living alone. NOT the crazy cat lady because I only have two. Lol. I have a gentleman friend who lives about two hours away and we see each other once a week or so. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Booklover Thanks for the info. I'll probably pass on that site. I have not heard good things about it for the most part.

I would welcome the opportunity to try psychedelics, to counteract my suicidal despair, which has ...

Moravian comments on Jun 10, 2019:

My partners sister who lives in Connecticut had electric shock treatment to her brain as treatment for her severe depression and although it is a controversial treatment it certainly worked for her.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Moravian But in cases like my friend's, as he says, with suicidal depression, it beats the alternative......

America's Real Economy: It Isn't Booming

Moravian comments on Jun 10, 2019:

It is reckoned that by 2020 40% of Americans will be working in the gig economy. Low wages and no job security. Hardly a booming economy

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Moravian Like I said tonite on a different thread, the rich will never be satisfied with just being rich or having more money they can ever spend. They want all of it, along with total power and control over anyone lower class than them.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

IamNobody comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Fair question... Why is it ok for one side of the aisle to have a pride badge but not ok for the other side? (Note I haven't even said which side is which... No need for that, it should be the same both ways)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Kafirah Kind of how I feel, as a socialist, about the ultra-rich. They already have more money than God or than anybody could spend, but they won't be happy until they have it all. As well as total control and power over all the lower classes than their own.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

Sticks48 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Those cocksuckers!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Sticks48 I like your choice of words here Sticks. Personally, I only use the term cocksuckers as an emphatic insult intended towards straight men (not gay men at all) who are so despicable that they will do anything to get their way or screw others over. As in a former work supervisor of me and my work buddy who called Jim a lying cocksucker for how low Jim would stoop to screw over me and my work buddy. No offense to gay men at all, just that Jim was the kind of straight man who would literally suck a man's cock to get what he wanted. Lower than a snake in the grass, with apologies to snakes....

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

IamNobody comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Fair question... Why is it ok for one side of the aisle to have a pride badge but not ok for the other side? (Note I haven't even said which side is which... No need for that, it should be the same both ways)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Kafirah Never been a fan of parades either, any kind of parade. Many years ago I marched with my late wife as straight allies in one of the early Gay Pride Parades in my area. Back then the local media barely covered it as they weren't sure it would be worth the flack they would get from their mainstream audience. I see no need to march in it these days, even tho I am just as supportive of LGBHT as back then, because the event is now so accepted and mainstream and Iowa even has gay marriage and gay adoption of kids. So I just don't see it these days as being so important for me to involved in the parade.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

Unicorn85 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I don't want to play the victim. But they should go through all the shit I have gone through for my feelings and then maybe they will be allowed to have pride events. They'll have had shit for any other reason, but not for their orientation.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@altschmerz I agree that it's as much a movement of the clueless as it is haters.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

JacarC comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Don't believe this shit. The left-polers label anyone they don't like as "far-right."

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@altschmerz Thanks for the explanation, now I get the Felicia thing and how RavenCT is using it. I guess I'm old fashioned and stick with FU and the horse you rode in on", but then I don't like to change anything that fits and still works.....

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

Unicorn85 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I don't want to play the victim. But they should go through all the shit I have gone through for my feelings and then maybe they will be allowed to have pride events. They'll have had shit for any other reason, but not for their orientation.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@altschmerz That All Lives Matter shit is just a sick, cruel joke on the part of racists and lovers of authority and the police who see colored people as of less value than animals.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

IamNobody comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Fair question... Why is it ok for one side of the aisle to have a pride badge but not ok for the other side? (Note I haven't even said which side is which... No need for that, it should be the same both ways)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@Kafirah Exactly. Why do whites need another parade to celebrate their racial privilege? We already have plenty of them, including St. Patrick's Day and Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, etc. How many are enough for you?

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

Sandman07 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

At the expense of looking like I'm raining on the gay parade, which I have absolutely no intention of doing, why not have a heterosexual parade? Life is a celebration. Let's not limit ourselves. Also, obviously some of these organizers (I'm hoping not all) have an agenda and their goal is to piss ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@A2Jennifer That's exactly what Chris Rock used to say in his comedy routine, damn near every month in the US is White History Month with all these holidays in honor of famous white people. And every damn NASCAR race is a celebration of white ethnic pride. Let's get real about our culture in America.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

JacarC comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Don't believe this shit. The left-polers label anyone they don't like as "far-right."

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 11, 2019:

@A2Jennifer, @RavenCT That's the second time I've seen you refer to Felicia, so who is she?

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

JacarC comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Don't believe this shit. The left-polers label anyone they don't like as "far-right."

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@A2Jennifer I'm generally not a fan of snark, as I prefer sarcasm instead. More old school and direct, but you nailed it here Jennifer! I'm sure their problem is only that they weren't hugged enough as kids.....NOT.

‘Straight Pride’ organisers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups

Sticks48 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Those cocksuckers!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Well, maybe a few of them in the literal sense, Sticks, as there always seem to be a few right-wing men that turn out to be closeted gays.

Getting the most out of Agnostic.com

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Saying you are a non-conformist in you bio is a good thing and it should attract more folks that it turns off. I would get rid of any photos showing you with women as it might make it look like you are already in a relationship. Women are often easily discouraged or suspicious of men who say they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@KnowIngGlance I hadn't thought of that, so what you're doing makes total sense. I just assume everyone is monogamous until I hear otherwise. Until recently, I had never even heard of poly relationships outside of the Mormons, of course. It's a different world from when I grew up......not saying that any of that alternative lifestyle stuff is bad, just something new to get used to.

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

Booklover comments on Jun 10, 2019:

After my divorce I live alone. The first time ever, went from my Mom's house to my husband's house at 19. 35 years married. I love living alone. NOT the crazy cat lady because I only have two. Lol. I have a gentleman friend who lives about two hours away and we see each other once a week or so. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@Booklover Am I right about Cupid requiring a phone app?

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

Booklover comments on Jun 10, 2019:

After my divorce I live alone. The first time ever, went from my Mom's house to my husband's house at 19. 35 years married. I love living alone. NOT the crazy cat lady because I only have two. Lol. I have a gentleman friend who lives about two hours away and we see each other once a week or so. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@Booklover I have heard of that site, but I haven't explored it because it has a much smaller membership than Match and I also may have heard that it is only a phone app and requires a smartphone, which I am not willing to get or use.

Edit: apparently this requires a trigger warning.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I see your point and now I know who you were talking about and criticizing on his post's thread. I did not see where he said anything about only wanting to date women who were way younger than him. But I can tell you from my experience that, as Sticks says, it goes both ways, not that I am excusing ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@motrubl4u And maybe the reason is none of our business, that is your call. We all deserve some privacy and secrets to keep, even if we put our opinions out here on the boards.

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

Booklover comments on Jun 10, 2019:

After my divorce I live alone. The first time ever, went from my Mom's house to my husband's house at 19. 35 years married. I love living alone. NOT the crazy cat lady because I only have two. Lol. I have a gentleman friend who lives about two hours away and we see each other once a week or so. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Sounds ideal, but that is still different than my situation and that of most singles. We both live alone, but you are not alone as far as not having a dating partner. Makes a world of difference in my book.

America's Real Economy: It Isn't Booming

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

It hasn't been for a very long time, at least not for average people, even long before 2008. I already knew that just from talking to people and looking around. But then again, I am a lot smarter and deeper in my thinking than the average sheeple.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@Antidronefreeman Ok, fair enough, I wasn't assuming any insult on your part, just making it clear that I'm an old fart Boomer who is generally very serious and sincere in my comments, with the exception of when I use sarcasm that is about as subtle as a jet engine. Snark is still almost a foreign language to me, as is emoji some of the time. Which is why I usually don't use emoji online.

America's Real Economy: It Isn't Booming

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

It hasn't been for a very long time, at least not for average people, even long before 2008. I already knew that just from talking to people and looking around. But then again, I am a lot smarter and deeper in my thinking than the average sheeple.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@Antidronefreeman What is your point? I don't try to communicate two-way with snark, only when I want to send a message one way to others. Snark is not a sincere way to communicate conversationally, just a way to show off how clever and supposedly smarter you are from others.

Edit: apparently this requires a trigger warning.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I see your point and now I know who you were talking about and criticizing on his post's thread. I did not see where he said anything about only wanting to date women who were way younger than him. But I can tell you from my experience that, as Sticks says, it goes both ways, not that I am excusing ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@Jnei I respect your opinion and she makes some legit criticism of Jacob, I suppose on his thread, even tho I never thought I saw anything on there from him about only wanting to date women much younger than him. I am still going to block her as I can see where she is heading with me anyway.....I still think she has a general hostility towards any men that don't meet her strict standards of approval of their language and having to be totally non-critical towards any general female behavior. That is a debate I am tired of having on these boards.

I realized something today about myself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I wish I could help man, but it would be the blind leading the blind because I have never been good at talking to single women either when I am single and on the market. I am fine at talking to female friends and to a woman that I have been dating for a while when she has given me enough ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@OpposingOpposum You are wrong about me and don't know me. I have and have had many female friends. I think you are just plain hostile and defensive towards men, regardless of what Jacob said. Take a look at yourself as well. I have two sisters. And, trust me, even tho I know you won't, even here in Des Moines, Iowa, women will almost never approach a man that is a stranger even if she is interested in him. Only happens in bars, and very rarely. Maybe it's different in FL, but not here.

America's Real Economy: It Isn't Booming

Moravian comments on Jun 10, 2019:

It is reckoned that by 2020 40% of Americans will be working in the gig economy. Low wages and no job security. Hardly a booming economy

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

It really is a new form of slavery. The movie Sorry To Bother You made some great, biting satirical points about how in the near future the gig economizing of America will leave most people little choice but either gig jobs or joining the military, assuming they are young enough that the military will take them. In the movie, an evil company had billboards all over advertising for workers who would have to sign lifetime contracts to be employed by the company, mainly in temp jobs that were unsafe and bad, in exchange for being given food, housing, and some money. Sound a little like slavery, that's because it is.....

It's Muuundaaaay

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

# According to Sesame Street it's --

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@WonderWartHog99 I have a neighbor down the hall from me that has a therapy cat.

It's Muuundaaaay

aahouck49 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

dang it Charlene so stabbing people is wrong, dadblast it, what a downer!!! freaked out, man that happened, drinking coffee, yes, you have not noticed?? I am a potato these days!!! got any advice how to keep positive? what you smokin today girl?? however, thanks needed that one, but I know ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Speaking of wanting to stab people, whatever happened to stinkeye? She used to allude to that feeling and she was quite witty. Anybody heard from her or seen her on these boards? Hopefully she didn't block me.

It's Muuundaaaay

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Glad I'm retired. I remember how some working days I almost needed to be reminded that stabbing people is wrong, lol!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@WonderWartHog99 Quite right. I value my freedom, even if I'm kind of apathetic about my reputation....

I realized something today about myself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I wish I could help man, but it would be the blind leading the blind because I have never been good at talking to single women either when I am single and on the market. I am fine at talking to female friends and to a woman that I have been dating for a while when she has given me enough ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@OpposingOpposum Thank you for coming back and giving us some kind of explanation of your message. I think you are being a little harsh on Jacob and I don't see him as misogynist here. Nobody here, him, me, or Deiter is saying that women are bitches or talking about them as if they are. And I think that all three of us men are also not saying that men who want to date should be given a complete pass on being able to hold a conversation at all. I don't want to date women who are too dim, shallow, or self-absorbed to hold a conversation either, for that matter. The question the three of us men were discussing was exactly how perfect, smooth, confident, etc. the man is or should be expected to be in his part of those conversations. It's easy to be demanding and critical when you know that you yourself know that most of the time you will not have to be the one approaching the other person in the dating game. Not so much when you are the gender that these days is still expected to make the first move or approach, which is my main point.

I have tried a couple of other date sites and so many profiles start out with must love Jesus, or ...

MayQueen comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I used to be on dating sites and the first sentence in my profile was "I do not get involved with religious people." And in West Michigan, that weeds out at least 75% of potential candidates. Add my other dealbreakers in there and.....*crickets*

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

I feel your pain. I really don't have that many dealbreaker's either, but when you add in the dealbreakers that almost all of the women in my area have, due to them being very mainstream in culture and lifestyle compared to me, then it is almost crickets. I don't know what the answer is other than being alone, moving to somewhere with a better dating pool or trying to date LD. I am starting to consider trying to date LD for women who live two hours away from me in a very hip, liberal university town because I am told by a trusted female friend that in that area there are significantly more women my age than men. Plus, it is a place I would be open to moving to if the relationship worked out, really the only place away from my area that I would be willing to try LD and move to.

I realized something today about myself.

UUNJ comments on Jun 10, 2019:

Why not switch to a phone conversation?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@motrubl4u That has also been my experience, so I don't suggest a phone talk very often with women when I haven't yet met them in person because it seems to scare most of them off. In fact, I usually try to wait for the woman to suggest trading phone numbers in online dating, even at the end of the first in person meeting. It's so hard to know when or if a woman is ready to give out that kind of info without just asking them directly or offering your own info. And even then, you run the risk of the woman being turned off because she sees your giving her your phone number as pressure to call soon and see you again soon.

I realized something today about myself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I wish I could help man, but it would be the blind leading the blind because I have never been good at talking to single women either when I am single and on the market. I am fine at talking to female friends and to a woman that I have been dating for a while when she has given me enough ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@motrubl4u That was my reaction too, which is why I messaged you about it.I couldn't tell who she was taking about from here, much less what her point really was...Glad I wasn't alone in that.

I would welcome the opportunity to try psychedelics, to counteract my suicidal despair, which has ...

Moravian comments on Jun 10, 2019:

My partners sister who lives in Connecticut had electric shock treatment to her brain as treatment for her severe depression and although it is a controversial treatment it certainly worked for her.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Same thing with a longtime friend of mine here in Iowa. The downside is the ECT wipes out a lot of his short term or recent memories after each treatment.

WHO’S DATING “LOCAL?

Susieq comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I dated a nice fellow from this site several times, but had to let him go as I was getting involved with a fellow atheist from my Senior Center. Still involved , going on 6 months.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Jeez- No way I would ever be able to meet a fellow non-believer at my local senior center. They still recite the pledge of allegiance before they eat, along with a moment of silence (probably used to be a moment of prayer) too. Do those practices bug you too?

Nothing beats being single except being single and living alone! I had such an experience for 2 ...

slydr68 comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I agree! I moved back to NC from CO after my business partner had a breakdown which cost us our company. I live with my daughter right now, but she makes it very clear that I'm only here because she allows it. I am verbally and emotionally abused regularly, and yet I have no other options... This is...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

I feel for you. Hope things improve for you in the future.

I realized something today about myself.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 10, 2019:

I wish I could help man, but it would be the blind leading the blind because I have never been good at talking to single women either when I am single and on the market. I am fine at talking to female friends and to a woman that I have been dating for a while when she has given me enough ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@OpposingOpposum I'm puzzled about your comment here. Where on this thread does your quote in quotation marks appear? Is that sentence a quote from another thread by the OP, Jacob? I know I never said that on these boards. Who is S? Just curious......

Givers and Takers Is it entirely true?

Ms_McSteven comments on May 31, 2019:

Takers are probably more likely to have a comfortable bed to sleep in, after a nice meal. Takers aren't bothered by their consciences, or else they would eventually stop taking. I don't know, I'm chronically sleep-deprived and can't think straight.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

One thing, among a few others, that I don't miss about being a school bus driver before I retired, is the chronic sleep deprivation of such a goofy schedule. Going to sleep early in the evening during the school year, getting up at 5:30 am for work and going out into the dark winter cold. Most people would never agree to do it for a PT job with no benefits, even tho the hourly pay was good.

Tearing down the building will not change the story of Columbine, to somehow make the massacre any ...

t1nick comments on Jun 9, 2019:

I do not know if everybody in the community is aware. A month ago, young girl from Florida ( I think) made her way to Colorado. She posted on Facebook or Instagram that she intended to honor the shooters of Columbine with another mass shooting in the school. She planned to make it even bigger. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Always feel a bit relieved when some asshole murderer takes their own life so we the taxpayer don't have to pay for the asshole's trial and imprisonment for the rest of their life as a waste of space and human skin. The only bad part of that outcome is that they don't get to suffer in prison for the rest of their life.

Right Wingers are gathering courage across the world Lesbian couple viciously beaten in ...

zesty comments on Jun 7, 2019:

Let's think! What if one of these ladies had a loaded weapon in her purse? So much for British gun control!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

I'm not saying I agree with you zesty, but since guns aren't allowed in the UK, but knives are, if I were one of the young women attacked, I would be getting one and learning how to use it.. or at least getting another weapon like mace or pepper spray....

Religion in a relationship

Fred_Snerd comments on Jun 9, 2019:

One can be an atheist and still be a victim of culture, the other God. Freeing each other from indoctrination should be the goal. Religion will eventually have to be scrutinized likewise.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 10, 2019:

@Fred_Snerd That is exactly what it takes, namely the person's identity, personal sense of security, sense of there being justice in their world, the loss of or total failure of their support system and community to be there and help them cope, those are part of how major calamities cause people to change because they finally realize how their indoctrination has failed them and that sticking with it will destroy them mentally and not allow them to survive or move on, much less improve things in their life.

Spirituality in Film & Literature

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 8, 2019:

To be honest, I really don't watch much in the way of TV shows or movies about sci fi, fantasy or supernatural stuff. It usually doesn't interest me. Most of what I watch is about actual mortal people, altho with some imagination thrown in so it is more interesting than real life, as well as biopics...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@GreenAtheist Yeah, preachers and ministers tend to be very negatively portrayed by King in his works. He seems to see them as corrupt, callow, and sometimes even evil.

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Glad I have never been divorced. It has to be tough continuing to see someone that you know is a dick or bitch around that you can't get out of your life no matter how much you would like to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@GwenBFree I understand and respect that Gwen, but I don't think that the two are mutually exclusive. One can try to make the most of one's life and try at the same time to find someone thru online dating. That's what I was saying that I wished more women in my area that are on Match would do, instead of staying bitter and stuck in their previous relationship emotionally while being on a dating site.

Spirituality in Film & Literature

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 8, 2019:

To be honest, I really don't watch much in the way of TV shows or movies about sci fi, fantasy or supernatural stuff. It usually doesn't interest me. Most of what I watch is about actual mortal people, altho with some imagination thrown in so it is more interesting than real life, as well as biopics...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@GreenAtheist You are correct about all the poetic justice that is meted out in not only that film, but in a lot of films based on Stephen King works. I really like that aspect when I see it in a film, even if it's not that realistic, because there is way too little poetic justice in this world. Maybe that's part of why so many people buy into religion, hoping that with that they may see some poetic justice in the next life or realm they end up in. I admit that's seductive, but not enough to make me believe again.

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Glad I have never been divorced. It has to be tough continuing to see someone that you know is a dick or bitch around that you can't get out of your life no matter how much you would like to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@ToolGuy True. I have run across some, but it's pretty rare. Which is why I run across so many bitter-seeming divorced women on Match.

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

zesty comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Have a threesome!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@Deiter She is indeed a cougar and probably a lot of other things, but she's harmless and likeable....

Religion in a relationship

Fred_Snerd comments on Jun 9, 2019:

One can be an atheist and still be a victim of culture, the other God. Freeing each other from indoctrination should be the goal. Religion will eventually have to be scrutinized likewise.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

You make a very good point here Fred. I have run across non-believers on Match that are still not very compatible with me, at least in their minds, because all they and I really share is our non-belief and that by itself is not enough. In states like Iowa and Nebraska, the culture is just as powerful as religion in shaping people and if someone has lived here all their life or even spent most of their life in a place like that, most people, but not all (because there are always exceptions like me that rebel against or reject the mainstream culture and still remain there to live) will end up adopting the mainstream culture in order to fit in, get along with others, etc. And in most cases, even after they have abandoned their religion they will maintain their longtime culture, which, in the case of the Midwest states, is country music, family being everything, college sports being big, social drinking (with the exception of religious fundys) being the center of their social life and their politics usually being conservative or middle of the road. That last cultural trait is the one most likely to change after someone adopts non-belief, but not always so. Non-believers tend to move left in their politics after they drop religion, but not always so.

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

zesty comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Have a threesome!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

You may be on to something. Maybe suggesting a threesome, not matter how insincere, would repulse, scare, or freak them out enough to leave you alone. Just a facetious thought, probably not a good idea as it would probably be used against you later. But I would love to see the look on their faces if you suggested it with a straight face.

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

zesty comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Have a threesome!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@zesty, @Deiter I have to add a caveat to that Deiter. Sometimes the fact that you had sex with a particular person, esp. if they were someone you shouldn't have tangoed with, can cause you a lot of stress later on! So I am told......

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

zesty comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Have a threesome!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@zesty You have a more thick calloused skin than most of us, at least figuratively, regarding sex. I and probably most people, would have a tough time having, much less enjoying, sex with an ex that we really disliked, along with their new "friend". I still like you zesty, but you are way more emotionally detached about sex than most of us, I think.

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

Deiter comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Part of *moving on* is *moving away*. Seeing exes in your day-to-day is just salting a wound. This kind of Fleetwood Mac version of breaking-up-but-staying-in-the-band seems like madness to me. Sorry you have to do it this way. If it's not the most painful, it's certainly the least convenient way of...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

I agree, I have always thought that arrangement of so many former partners in FM was the most nutty thing I had ever seen....

Very challenging week, the ex and his girlfriend (they live across the street from me), started ...

zesty comments on Jun 9, 2019:

Have a threesome!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

zesty, you are just terrible, but always so funny!

Spirituality in Film & Literature

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 8, 2019:

To be honest, I really don't watch much in the way of TV shows or movies about sci fi, fantasy or supernatural stuff. It usually doesn't interest me. Most of what I watch is about actual mortal people, altho with some imagination thrown in so it is more interesting than real life, as well as biopics...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@GreenAtheist I think the experience of Andy's character is way more gray and complicated than your summary here Larry. As far as I'm concerned, the state of Maine, in the movie, wrongfully convicted him, sent him to prison, and kept him there wrongfully and illegally, even after the other inmate came forward with evidence that would have freed Andy eventually. And even tho the warden and Hadley acted criminally to keep Andy in prison after Tommy came forward, the state is still responsible morally, if not legally, for Andy being kept in prison so long. Also, Andy had no intention of ever getting rich of the warden's financial crimes. And he only continued to help the warden with that after Tommy's murder due to the warden exhorting him over hurting the other inmates. After Andy escaped he exposed the warden and Hadley and took some, but not all of the money the warden made illegally. The way I see it, Andy's money was sort of an informal out of court settlement with the state of Maine for everything that the state had done or allowed to be done to him.

How do you debunk it when someone claims religion, no matter it's true or false' serves as an ...

KITDFOHS comments on Jun 8, 2019:

Some people can't handle the truth, so you just have to let them be!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

Sometimes, like with the point you just made about how some people can't handle the truth, makes me want to post a link to the scene in A Few Good Men where Jack Nicholson bellows out that line in the courtroom. I never tire of watching it and it makes me laugh....I'm too tech retarded to know how to post that, but maybe somebody will help me out.....

Don't tease Opera Cat!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 9, 2019:

How could you ever get a cat into that?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 9, 2019:

@IrishTxJudy My ? still stands. My neighbor has a hell of a time restraining her cat or trying to get something put on her cat, so I wondered if it's a process of rewarding them, tricking them into holding still, or just strong-arming them into not moving?

It pains me to block ladies. Women need to support each other.

maturin1919 comments on Jun 8, 2019:

I don't understand the imperative to do so. Shitty people come in all sexes and genders. I feel no need to support someone simply because they are a match between the legs or ears.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven Hope you're right, we will see. My generation, the Boomers, were behind some great things when we were young, but later, in the late 1970s and particularly in the 80s, most of them sold out and became very selfish, pursuing comfort over reform of the system and the social order. I am often ashamed of my generation overall and I understand why the millenials, the kids of the Boomers, hate and resent us so as a generation. They are right to, we did not do well by them as a group. And yes, Bernie was the first prez candidate that I actually got excited about and volunteered for as well in my whole adult life, because I knew he was not only the first real progressive with a chance since McGovern, who I was too young to vote for then, but I also knew that he was the real deal instead of all these fake progressive Dems we started seeing in the late 70s on and he also wasn't seen as a kook like Kuccinich, Nader, or Jerry Brown or too unelectable like Jesse Jackson. I finally had hope that the right person was finally running that could actually win.

This is how women SUPPORT other women: .

Deiter comments on Jun 8, 2019:

I'd amend to a *strong person*. Patriarchy is a dirty word and yet we all know that the only thing that will *fix* patriarchy is more patriarchy, i.e. good rather than bad. Unless women can fix it on their own. I, for one, don't think they can. I hear many women say *forget about men as allies.*...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

You make a good point about women needing men as allies. Without it, they never would have gotten the right to vote nor would the feminist movement have succeeded. Same with the civil rights movement for blacks. Never would have made it without white allies, most of which were Jewish. Same with gay and lesbian rights, and so on. Oppressed groups always need allies from the dominant group as well as the support of other oppressed groups in order to succeed.

This is how women SUPPORT other women: .

Tomas comments on Jun 8, 2019:

I’m thrilled there are so many women emerging on the political front, I hope more women are inspired to join the political arena... hope even more a woman becomes “Madam President” of USA. (in my lifetime)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

As another pro-feminist male, I too support and look forward to that. But I am very disturbed, beginning with Hillary's run for prez, how too many people, both men and women, are getting blinded by identity politics and rashly supporting female candidates solely on their gender instead of their policies, character, and trustworthiness to actually hold to those policies in office. Don't let the history making lead you into voting for people who are corrupt, bought off, liars, or not progressive enough to deal with the problems we are facing. I'm afraid of people voting foolishly for female candidates the same way they supported and voted for Obama just because he was black. Big deal, after he got into office it became clear that people were projecting all these liberal and progressive traits onto him just because he was the first black prez, but he turned out to be a liar on much of his campaign rhetoric and his policies ended up being mostly a continuation of Bush's last term, including the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, except for the ACA, which was actually no different than Romneycare in MA and was a Heritage (conservative group) Foundation healthcare plan from the 1990s. No wonder more than one commentator called Obama " Bush In Blackface" because it was well deserved. He was also just as friendly to Wall Street as Bush.

This is how women SUPPORT other women: .

TonyCarl1 comments on Jun 8, 2019:

When i was a young man, and have never experienced a woman in all her glory( in other words i was still a virgin) I was lucky enough that a woman that knew me from when i was 12 took me under her wing, she was 36 I was 17 going on 18. She literally taught me what to expect as woman grow older. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

You are indeed a lucky man, Tony. I envy you with your older woman education.

It pains me to block ladies. Women need to support each other.

maturin1919 comments on Jun 8, 2019:

I don't understand the imperative to do so. Shitty people come in all sexes and genders. I feel no need to support someone simply because they are a match between the legs or ears.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven So how long should we wait? It's much like the way congress always has money for war, but if we want single payer healthcare or anything else radical that costs anything it's always " We'll have to wait". I'm tired of waiting endlessly and hearing the same excuse. We haven't had a progressive nominee for the Dems since McGovern in '72. At this rate, I will be dead before we get another one. Sorry, I'm not biting on this lesser evil scare. Maybe we need another big crisis, like we had with the Great Depression, so the voters would not only wake up, but be ready to revolt. That's how we got the New Deal and other long overdue reforms that the capitalists would otherwise never have agreed to. Maybe it's time to let the system collapse so we can finally have revolution and fight these pricks for real in the streets. It's long overdue as far as I'm concerned and I am willing to die for it, even tho I have always been non-violent. That's one war I would approve of......

It pains me to block ladies. Women need to support each other.

maturin1919 comments on Jun 8, 2019:

I don't understand the imperative to do so. Shitty people come in all sexes and genders. I feel no need to support someone simply because they are a match between the legs or ears.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

@Ms_McSteven Dammit, I really hope you are right, but right now I am still very pessimistic about that. I don't even think that them realizing it matters, because I think they do realize it, they just don't care about what the voters think if it goes against what their big donors from the rich and corporate class want. What they do care about is how to sell that agenda to the voters and make them think it is in their interest when it clearly isn't. As long as enough voters stay conned or stuck with voting for the two parties, neither party really has to change a damned thing about their shared agenda on all the really important issues that matter to the same big donors who fund both parties and give to both of them.

How do you debunk it when someone claims religion, no matter it's true or false' serves as an ...

maturin1919 comments on Jun 8, 2019:

You don't. Because it's true.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 8, 2019:

You and irascible are right. It not only serves that purpose but also, as Karl Marx observed, it is the opiate of the masses. Meaning, that it gives them hope of better things and times ahead by taking their minds off their troubles in the present. In other words, same as LSD, allows them to drop out and numb themselves to being enslaved by capitalism. Religion also provides another benefit to the ruling classes. It brainwashes people into in believing that submission to authority is natural and part of being moral and good. That helps keep the masses from questioning authority and supporting revolution.