TomMcGiverin's Profile

Had a very disheartening experience yesterday at a grocery store.

mzbehavin comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Why don't you take this concern to the Home Office. What about emailing them your frustration and point of views? You never know, you may be adding your voice to many others with the same feelings.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 7, 2019:

Because Hy-Vee has continued in the last few years to make decision after decision without even bothering to survey customers about what they want. For example, they changed the store delis that sold hot meals and then had to go back and get rid of some of them because the customers didn't want the new style market grills that replaced the delis. It's total top-down decision making that doesn't give a shit about the employees or customers. I won't waste my time on them.

Monty Python

mojo5501 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

I really think the show's content may have spurred on my 'disbelief' as a teenager. I can credit it for making me laugh and see the humor in Catholic/Protestant behaviors in a way that was acceptable: The Spanish Inquisition, the Every Sperm is Sacred, the Holy Grail, The Life of Brian. All the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 7, 2019:

The first time I heard Every Sperm Is Sacred sung at karaoke I about pissed my pants laughing!

Monty Python

HailSatan81 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Look, I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 7, 2019:

@KKGator Quick- Who can name their four chief weapons?

Online Dating Practices

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Agreed. Most of the time women click on Like for me, they have not read my profile and are simply indicating that they feel my main photo is acceptable looking enough that they might be interested in me. By itself, it's worthless as far as I'm concerned and I don't bother messaging those women after...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 7, 2019:

@sweetcharlotte As far as clicking on the Like button, I was talking about the paid sites, where you get a daily list of matches from the site and as part of that you get the main profile pic and a little info about each person as part of a set of "Matches". Some people refer to this as swiping left or swiping right as the member is sorting thru a bunch of matches, usually without bothering to click on the button to read the profile. What the set of matches present you is the main profile pic, the person's name, age, city, nothing else. So when they click a Like for you all they are really doing is indicating that your main profile pic looks good enough to be spared rejection in their initial sorting/screening process. Which in my mind, means next to nothing if they haven't read my profile so I'm not going to bother messaging them.

Online Dating Practices

birdingnut comments on Feb 6, 2019:

Men on dating websites typically go for the youngest, hottest woman's photo they can find, and seldom, if ever, read profiles. This website included. I don't think one man here has read my profile before messaging to ask me out.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 7, 2019:

I'm the complete opposite of that and I don't think I'm that much of a minority, at least on this site. I always read the profile before I message a woman with interest in her. Doing otherwise is a waste of my time and hers.

Okay, a very basic question (which may or may not have a long or short answer!): what are your five ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Godspell Hair Grease Jesus Christ Superstar Evita And in all cases I am only referring to the stage versions. The film versions of Grease and Godspell are very lame to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@bleurowz Ok, that's right. I knew he had a conflict between the two shows.

Okay, a very basic question (which may or may not have a long or short answer!): what are your five ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Godspell Hair Grease Jesus Christ Superstar Evita And in all cases I am only referring to the stage versions. The film versions of Grease and Godspell are very lame to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@bleurowz Vereen would have been in JCS as Judas but he was busy filming Pippin at the time.

How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month.

genessa comments on Feb 4, 2019:

tell them every month is white history month and surely they can spare ONE for black history. g

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@genessa A very wise man once told me in college " Confuse not the ignorant. They'll only hate you for it". And as I've gotten older, I've come to see that truer words were never spoken....

How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month.

jondspen comments on Feb 4, 2019:

I really don't care, but I am flummoxed why there isn't the same celebration of Asian/Pacific Heritage Month, or Native American Heritage History Month; these groups have contributed just as much to this country. I will say that as long as we continue to separate and confine the celebration of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@jlynn37 Reminds me of watching how the railroads were built in Blazing Saddles (a great film and one of my most non-PC pleasures).

Okay, a very basic question (which may or may not have a long or short answer!): what are your five ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Godspell Hair Grease Jesus Christ Superstar Evita And in all cases I am only referring to the stage versions. The film versions of Grease and Godspell are very lame to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@bleurowz I agree, but Hair, JCS, and Evita were good versions in their own way. In each case they were not trying to be a replica of the stage version and that's why they worked as films. Film versions work better when they use the medium to open things up wider than stage sets and not just try to be a filmed stage performance. It's all about having a director who has a new vision that's good for that musical. The best of the three I mentioned was Hair because Milos Forman was so damned good at seeing and then transforming a work. He also directed the film version of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, which was also a stage play, then a novel before he filmed it and it won tons of Oscars.

How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Ignorant is as ignorant does.....

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@ProudMerrie I wish I were willing and able to relocate like you, because even tho I'm not surrounded by idiots and bigots to the degree you are, there's nobody from this site to date in my area. I wish you the best in getting out of Hooterville.

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl I wasn't familiar with Hairdresser On Fire. Thanks for the link, I really enjoyed the song. Reminds me of another Moz tune I sing at karaoke, Suedehead. "It was a good lay, good lay..."

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl Ok, you confused me with that last one....

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl Moz would sooner die than be caught with his hair looking hideous....

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl I sometimes wonder if Moz would admit to taking antidepressants... See my other title request above.

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl Do you have one you could create with Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want.......? Also something with We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful...... Unlike Moz, I've never been attracted to men. Like Moz, I have loved women and can agree that I don't like very many humans. I prefer cats to most humans.

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

Cat021958 comments on Feb 4, 2019:

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

Fear, surprise, and a fanatical devotion to The Pope....

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

Mokvon comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Help! I am being oppressed! That is a better quote by far and very appropriate.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

I think the line was actually "being oppressed". See above comment...

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

flithyMONKEYmen comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

Sounds like words from the oppressed socialist peasant....

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

DeStijl comments on Feb 2, 2019:

I always liked this song because 1) it's the cutest song ever about suicide and 2) it works for my voice and I can sing along with it pretty well. https://youtu.be/x7QPBzAJ_io

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

Cuter than There Is A Light?

Hippies selling acid for $1.00 at Woodstock, 1969

Meme0309 comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Excellent! Would've loved to have been there. My sister was.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

My late wife was.

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 3, 2019:

@RavenCT Maybe in your area, but not in mine. The closest thing to that I know of is the choir at the Unitarian church in my area. I heard they did a version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah a few years back, but otherwise their choir songs are so damn bland, not worth my time. If I lived in Chicago or even Minneapolis, I could probably find something like that as well as have a much easier time finding someone to date, but in my area the paid site that rhymes with catch doesn't even have any local events for members. For crying out loud, even in Omaha they have local events for members of that site....

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@DeStijl, @RavenCT Fortunately or not, depends on the situation, I have pretty good, but not perfect pitch. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have perfect pitch because it would make the off-key singers even more painful at karaoke. I haven't done choirs since I was in high school, mainly because I don't want to spend my time rehearsing songs I don't find interesting or have any say in selecting, so I stick with karaoke. If my area had a choir for seniors like me along the line of the one in the movie, Young At Heart, I would join in a heartbeat because all their songs are cool pop and rock tunes.

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@DeStijl I don't know about greatest singer ever, but I would say he is one of the best rock singers ever. Sounds like she loved him a little too much. Did she ever end up stalking him?

Has anyone else found dating to be really difficult these days?

rogeralyn comments on Feb 2, 2019:

Try it at 55! Yes it's tough. I partly blame the internet. everyone seems to want to find their "perfect" match, thier "soulmate" and for some reason they think that computers make this more likely to happen. Seems IMHO no one is looking for anything or anyone that doesn't meet "all" thier needs.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

You're right about all of that. Dating sites simply make it too tempting for people to treat it like shopping. So everyone gets into looking at profiles more as a set of checklist items that they seek a perfect match for based on the checklist items instead of stepping back and looking at the holistic picture (figuratively) of the person involved and sizing them up for whether they seem to be a good match overall. If more people did that, instead of the checklist/shopping approach, they would end up with more positive in person meetings and probably a better chance of actually getting to know someone that was right for them.

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@RavenCT Oh I can sing, but for one thing I'm a baritone, so I have to use the keychanger for most songs at karaoke and still limit myself some on which ones require too much high to low range. Secondly, as Clint Eastwood said in one of his Dirty Harry movies, " A man's got to know his limitations". And mine include anything sung by people like Steve Perry. Unfortunately, most karaoke singers do not know their limitations, much less care what they are. Esp. when they are drunk.....

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

Whenever a Journey song comes up on the lyrics screen when I'm at karaoke, I always cringe. Because I know with all the high notes and difficulty of their songs, the next few minutes are either going to be really good or really painful....

Sooooo.

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Sometimes I wonder if guys are juggling so many women they get the details confused.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@HippieChick58 Thank you, that's kind. I like to think I proved myself with my only marriage being a long and good one before my wife died. I know I can be a good and supportive partner, which my wife's dementia experience proved. I've never envied the players because I've never wanted what they want. I've always wanted the LTR with partnership.

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@mooredolezal I pretty well get to hear the new stuff on my local public radio station, 90.1 FM. Between their evening show for 3 hours and the NPR show World Cafe, it keeps me up to date.

Zeymour being Zeymour

BeeHappy comments on Feb 2, 2019:

So bossy! But Handsome! ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

He knows it! "You will revel in my awesomeness!"

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@mooredolezal Research studies have shown that most people quit growing musically or listening to new artists or genres at about age 35. My late wife, like me, was an exception, as she continued to listen to new artists like Adele and Bruno Mars into her late 60s.

I'm not usually not one to get sucked in by the sentimental.

BufftonBeotch comments on Feb 2, 2019:

People who are not conventionally pretty seem to have the best love stories.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@BufftonBeotch Yeah, Patti is very special and talented. I can see why Malethorpe was so drawn to her as well. She was his muse as an artist.

I'm not usually not one to get sucked in by the sentimental.

BufftonBeotch comments on Feb 2, 2019:

People who are not conventionally pretty seem to have the best love stories.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

True. I think it's because they tend to more often have deeper character and also tend to appreciate what they have more than the beautiful do. The beautiful and/or wealthy tend to get most of what they want without having to do much to get it, relationship-wise.

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@mooredolezal I kept listening to new music until about the mid-90s and then I lost track of things like that until the last several years when I discovered an evening music show on public radio that plays new alternative stuff as well as older alternative stuff. That's how I heard about new Leonard Cohen music, Connor Oberst, and Dawes, for example.

And in an interesting turn of events, the man that I was going to dump via telephone last night, who...

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

If he’s a lovebombing toxic person, it might be a silent Hoover. He’s trying to see if you will cave in and call HIM. I assume the worst out of people, lol. And I’m often right on target. Restraining order-guy pulled a big suicide threat Hoover. I knew his address so I sent the cops to do ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 Very sick, desperate shit...

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@mooredolezal I was in college from 77-81 and for me it was simply a matter of continuing to listen to new music during college and after as the new bands came out. Instead of a girlfriend, I would learn about the new bands by visiting record stores, first in college, and then in my new town after I got my first real job after college. I never learned about new bands from radio because here in Iowa none of them would play these new bands at all. When I would call up a radio station and request New Wave music the DJs would actually say to me, " We don't consider that music". Assholes..... The other way I would learn about new bands and songs was to go to live shows at bars and hear bands cover some of the new artists. Yup, 78-85 I was mostly listening to New Wave while most of my fellow college peers were still listening to bullshit mainstream stuff like REO Speedwagon, Kansas, and the like. Man, how I hated the music they played at college dorm parties when I was there.

orange_girl comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Is that cat sad, because of porn hub?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Probably feeling sad and neglected..

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@mooredolezal She drug you into the contemporary scene back then...

Sooooo.

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Sometimes I wonder if guys are juggling so many women they get the details confused.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Not the majority of us, only the players. As I've said before, I've met 5 women in person in 15 months on a paid site. So, that works out to one every three months, anything but juggling.....

And in an interesting turn of events, the man that I was going to dump via telephone last night, who...

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

If he’s a lovebombing toxic person, it might be a silent Hoover. He’s trying to see if you will cave in and call HIM. I assume the worst out of people, lol. And I’m often right on target. Restraining order-guy pulled a big suicide threat Hoover. I knew his address so I sent the cops to do ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Another new term it seems. Ok, what is a Hoover?

If you're a guy wanting to date, here's some advice that seems good: [30sleeps.

Sticks48 comments on Jan 28, 2019:

You go do things you enjoy doing, and you meet women who enjoy those same things. It is stupid to do things you don't enjoy doing and meeting women whose interests are not the same as yours. This is not that complicated.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Thank you Sticks! You just explained why I have no interest in attending events or groups that don't interest me just because there might be single women there. For me it would be a waste of time because they wouldn't share that interest with me and, because I have researched these groups that are part of Meetup.com, I already know that the women my age who are members of these groups are already on the paid dating site that I use. In other words, attending those groups would do nothing to increase my dating pool.

Update on the second date update.

Lorajay comments on Jan 31, 2019:

We can't wait to hear how he goes about making it up to you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@MissKathleen That's her choice. If someone disrespects me, they don't get second chances...

Update on the second date update.

Lorajay comments on Jan 31, 2019:

We can't wait to hear how he goes about making it up to you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 31, 2019:

If I were her, I wouldn't give him the chance, he's a bullshitter....

Let's grow old together???

Kynlei comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Old and rounder ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Makes the ears look smaller.

So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...

bleurowz comments on Jan 27, 2019:

@webbew1 @TomMcGiverin @Chilton704 Tagging all of you. I just finished watching the broadcast. I thought they did a pretty good job, for the most part. I'm kind of pissed at Fox though, because the live feed didn't come on until a couple of minutes in, so of course I missed the opening "Seasons of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 28, 2019:

The more I think about the broadcast last nite as well as the concert version of JCS, I'm beginning to think there will always be a tradeoff when the networks do these live broadcasts of musicals. On the one hand, the live audiences provide a lot of energy to the performances and yet, at the same time they detract from the performances as the audience cheers and makes noise that sometimes overwhelms the vocals of the cast, so we miss some of the lyrics of songs. It comes down to the differences in etiquette between a rock concert and a stage musical. In the former, it's ok to shout, cheer, and even sing along with the performer. In the latter, the audience is to stay quiet except for applause at the end of a song, with the exception of laughter at obvious humor. I think it's great that these TV productions are bringing musical theater to an audience that might not otherwise attend a musical theater production, but when I watch these broadcasts, it's clear the audience is either not used to following the usual protocol for stage performances or else that the producers of these shows are encouraging the audience to be very vocal and act like they are at a rock concert. The truth is that it's probably some of both going on.

So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...

bleurowz comments on Jan 27, 2019:

@webbew1 @TomMcGiverin @Chilton704 Tagging all of you. I just finished watching the broadcast. I thought they did a pretty good job, for the most part. I'm kind of pissed at Fox though, because the live feed didn't come on until a couple of minutes in, so of course I missed the opening "Seasons of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 28, 2019:

@bleurowz Probably just your local Fox station.

So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...

bleurowz comments on Jan 27, 2019:

@webbew1 @TomMcGiverin @Chilton704 Tagging all of you. I just finished watching the broadcast. I thought they did a pretty good job, for the most part. I'm kind of pissed at Fox though, because the live feed didn't come on until a couple of minutes in, so of course I missed the opening "Seasons of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 27, 2019:

On my TV the local Fox station carried the whole thing and didn't leave out a second of SOL.

Question for the ladies: how many of you on the dating websites (excluding this one) actively look ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I never used to message a guy first. That felt very uncomfortable for me. But now, if I see a profile that interests me, I will message first. I might get messages back 20% of the time and out of that I might meet someone. But probably not! lol. Occasionally I get to go on a date.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@MojoDave My return rate on messages I send to women on a paid site is about 5%.

Why do we fall for people who don't work for us? [dailymail.co.uk]

bobwjr comments on Jan 23, 2019:

It's frustrating you see someone you like and don't get a second look because you are a caring person I think I am not alone in this.many of the guys on this site have same problem . Most any woman here has many followers the men generally don't. These wonderful women are so gun shy they don't look ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

Actually I have had a fair number of women on this site choose to follow my posts and comments, and I think I am, at least in relationships, more the nice guy type than most guys. I think the women on this site are more intelligent and open-minded about being attracted to nice guys than the ones in the general pop., at least the ones on this site that participate in the forums. I have some confidence that if there were more women on this site in my area who were my age, and also the type to participate in the discussions, that I could find someone compatible to date from here.

Buyer beware.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 24, 2019:

In my experience, there are female golddiggers or scammers on paid dating sites, but not female players. Or if there are, they have never bothered trying to play me. I'm a 6 on a good day and none of the women who have ever messaged me back with any interest looked better than an 8, and that's been ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@273kelvin Go ahead if you like, but what people need to know is that my profile essay on the paid site is much longer and more detailed than my bio on this site, completely different than here. Plus, revising my bio here is fairly meaningless because, as I have said before on these boards, there aren't any local women for me to try and date on this site so it won't affect my chances for the forseeable future.

Seeing as we all live so far away from each other (for the most part) lets hear some tips.

Stephanie99 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

Finding intelligent, with the exception of this site, seems like too big of a reach. On a certain site where they match questions, one is: "Are you more intelligent than other people?". I have only seen one person say "no". Everyone says "yes". Messaging a bit reveals otherwise.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

This site is full of intellectuals. On paid sites, I almost never see a female profile that seems to openly identify the member as an intellectual. In my state, intellectuals are either feared or sneered at, so people are afraid to come off that way to others on a dating site, probably even more so for women as many men are intimidated by smart women. Maybe not on this site, but in the general pop.. In my state, to get along and fit in you have to at least act like you care about farming and college sports, etc..

So.

lerlo comments on Jan 20, 2019:

To each his/her own. Anyone who has been on a dating site knows that everyone has their own desires. If everyone agreed dating wouldn't be so difficult. Your friend probably didn't tell you about the 10 guys that responded to her that were age-appropriate but she just didn't like them. Why didn't ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@SukiSue I am seeking someone my age to grow older with after being widowed, but I can tell you from my paid dating site experience that most women in my area who are age 53-55 (I am 60) will not date someone my age but will date someone as much as 15 years younger than them, according to their profiles. So it's not just men who seek much younger dating partners. I will date as much as 8 years older than me, but that probably won't prevent me from dying alone...

This place has 2 goals.

MizJ comments on Jan 21, 2019:

I am 70 miles south of you and there is only a small dating pool here. Take away the guys wearing camouflage and the bible thumpers and there is nothing left. I have volunteered for several organizations, taken classes, etc., and have found making friends and meeting potential mates impossible. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

I feel your pain. My area has a very small pool of women who are my age on this site and contacting them has been a waste of time. Plus, no new members to that pool in the last 12 months, so obviously no advertising is reaching women my age in my area.

Buyer beware.

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 23, 2019:

Such great advice. See my post about my lunch date today. Nothing special when we met, but by the time we parted he was at the top of my list. But I would also add to your comment that there are a lot of women who think they're a 5 or a 6 but are in fact an 8 or a 9. I lost the photogenic ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@273kelvin Only if the profile gets read. 60% of the women I message with interest never view my profile because my main pic doesn't look attractive enough to interest them after they read my message. The main profile pic is then far more important than the profile, at least in my case. I suspect that if I had a full head of hair I would get a lot more interest at that stage of the process. But just as likely is the fact that women who are above-average looking get dozens of messages a day and just reject all but the top 30% of men by their main pics so they can keep their messages from piling up too fast. It would be the easiest and fastest way to narrow down who to move forward with, so that's what I suspect happens and I believe I've seen studies cited on this site that agree with that.

So, lunch date today and it’s an intriguing one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I would never meet someone at a Cracker Barrel, even tho I like their food. Reason, I hate country music and that's what they play there. Wouldn't want that distracting and bothering me when meeting someone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@ProudMerrie Not for me, even in 2019. I've lived in Iowa my whole life and it's actually the whitest state in the country, only a 3% black population. Most people in Iowa grew up in small towns, where there are usually no black folks. So, even in my area, with a large population, most of those people still grew up in small towns and never met any black people until they moved to the Des Moines area. So seeing inter-racial couples is still a new thing to them and thus they stare. In the Des Moines metro area (pop. 250K), the only places I still don't see staring at interracial couples is at the jazz, reggae or blues music concerts where those couples are common and the rest of the crowd is made up of fellow hipsters.

So, lunch date today and it’s an intriguing one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I would never meet someone at a Cracker Barrel, even tho I like their food. Reason, I hate country music and that's what they play there. Wouldn't want that distracting and bothering me when meeting someone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@ProudMerrie I guess it depends on the location. The one in West Des Moines plays country music all the time in the whole place. Good move letting him pick the place. I know in my area there would have been some staring, at least from other customers.

So, lunch date today and it’s an intriguing one.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I've never been to cracker barrel... What's it like?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

The husband of a friend of mine works at one, as kind of a retirement job. He does it just for extra money and to get out of the house while his wife, my friend, is still working. He gets free meals out of it too when he works. The funny thing is that, like me, he's very left wing and non-racist, but he probably just avoids any discussions with co-workers that might get bigoted. He retired from being a mail carrier, so he's used to dealing with bigoted co-workers.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I'll lay out my process and see what others think. Since I am a man, like most men on paid dating sites, I know that very few women, at least in Iowa, will send the first message even if they might be interested in me. So I make the first move. I look at the woman's main profile pic. If it looks at ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 Thank you. My process is good, but my results are lousy. I've only met 5 women in person over 15 months and I don't think it's because I'm too picky. It's because I am too far out of the mainstream here in Iowa as far as culture (Christian beliefs, social drinking, love of college sports, country music, very family-oriented, etc.).

So I was on this single's site the other night, and saw an ad from a decent looking guy, saying he...

Dancing comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I've had fwb relationships in my past and they have worked well for me. I've actually had more longterm fwb than longterm relationships. They did all evolved into fwb. I don't know how that would even happen with online dating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

From some of the profiles I've seen on paid dating sites, the women with those are really seeking more of a FWB than a regular dating relationship, they just don't come right out and say it.

I want to hear the funny stories. ???

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I have one. I’ll try to keep my language in check! Met a guy on a dating site for us older people...I’m 58, he was 62. It went well the first few weeks so we decided to go to Pigeon Forge for a fall weekend. It was a good day driving over, great weather and leaf colors; the hotel room was nice ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 This is about a month too late, but fitting, " All I want for Christmas is a Restraining Order...". Your story is funnier than most of the scripts I see for cable TV sitcoms...and you tell it with such witty detail. Little doubt what kind of videos he'd been watching.

I want to hear the funny stories. ???

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I have one. I’ll try to keep my language in check! Met a guy on a dating site for us older people...I’m 58, he was 62. It went well the first few weeks so we decided to go to Pigeon Forge for a fall weekend. It was a good day driving over, great weather and leaf colors; the hotel room was nice ...