Okay, a very basic question (which may or may not have a long or short answer!): what are your five ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Godspell Hair Grease Jesus Christ Superstar Evita And in all cases I am only referring to the stage versions. The film versions of Grease and Godspell are very lame to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@bleurowz I agree, but Hair, JCS, and Evita were good versions in their own way. In each case they were not trying to be a replica of the stage version and that's why they worked as films. Film versions work better when they use the medium to open things up wider than stage sets and not just try to be a filmed stage performance. It's all about having a director who has a new vision that's good for that musical. The best of the three I mentioned was Hair because Milos Forman was so damned good at seeing and then transforming a work. He also directed the film version of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, which was also a stage play, then a novel before he filmed it and it won tons of Oscars.

How to shut people up when they bitch about black history month.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Ignorant is as ignorant does.....

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@ProudMerrie I wish I were willing and able to relocate like you, because even tho I'm not surrounded by idiots and bigots to the degree you are, there's nobody from this site to date in my area. I wish you the best in getting out of Hooterville.

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl I wasn't familiar with Hairdresser On Fire. Thanks for the link, I really enjoyed the song. Reminds me of another Moz tune I sing at karaoke, Suedehead. "It was a good lay, good lay..."

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl Ok, you confused me with that last one....

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl Moz would sooner die than be caught with his hair looking hideous....

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl I sometimes wonder if Moz would admit to taking antidepressants... See my other title request above.

I like making up Smiths/Morrissey song titles.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I think those titles are wonderful. You obviously share Morrissey's wit and wicked sense of humor.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@DeStijl Do you have one you could create with Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want.......? Also something with We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful...... Unlike Moz, I've never been attracted to men. Like Moz, I have loved women and can agree that I don't like very many humans. I prefer cats to most humans.

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

Cat021958 comments on Feb 4, 2019:

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

Fear, surprise, and a fanatical devotion to The Pope....

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

Mokvon comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Help! I am being oppressed! That is a better quote by far and very appropriate.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

I think the line was actually "being oppressed". See above comment...

Favorite Monty Python Holy Grail quote?

flithyMONKEYmen comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

Sounds like words from the oppressed socialist peasant....

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

DeStijl comments on Feb 2, 2019:

I always liked this song because 1) it's the cutest song ever about suicide and 2) it works for my voice and I can sing along with it pretty well. https://youtu.be/x7QPBzAJ_io

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

Cuter than There Is A Light?

Hippies selling acid for $1.00 at Woodstock, 1969

Meme0309 comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Excellent! Would've loved to have been there. My sister was.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 4, 2019:

My late wife was.

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 3, 2019:

@RavenCT Maybe in your area, but not in mine. The closest thing to that I know of is the choir at the Unitarian church in my area. I heard they did a version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah a few years back, but otherwise their choir songs are so damn bland, not worth my time. If I lived in Chicago or even Minneapolis, I could probably find something like that as well as have a much easier time finding someone to date, but in my area the paid site that rhymes with catch doesn't even have any local events for members. For crying out loud, even in Omaha they have local events for members of that site....

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@DeStijl, @RavenCT Fortunately or not, depends on the situation, I have pretty good, but not perfect pitch. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have perfect pitch because it would make the off-key singers even more painful at karaoke. I haven't done choirs since I was in high school, mainly because I don't want to spend my time rehearsing songs I don't find interesting or have any say in selecting, so I stick with karaoke. If my area had a choir for seniors like me along the line of the one in the movie, Young At Heart, I would join in a heartbeat because all their songs are cool pop and rock tunes.

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@DeStijl I don't know about greatest singer ever, but I would say he is one of the best rock singers ever. Sounds like she loved him a little too much. Did she ever end up stalking him?

Has anyone else found dating to be really difficult these days?

rogeralyn comments on Feb 2, 2019:

Try it at 55! Yes it's tough. I partly blame the internet. everyone seems to want to find their "perfect" match, thier "soulmate" and for some reason they think that computers make this more likely to happen. Seems IMHO no one is looking for anything or anyone that doesn't meet "all" thier needs.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

You're right about all of that. Dating sites simply make it too tempting for people to treat it like shopping. So everyone gets into looking at profiles more as a set of checklist items that they seek a perfect match for based on the checklist items instead of stepping back and looking at the holistic picture (figuratively) of the person involved and sizing them up for whether they seem to be a good match overall. If more people did that, instead of the checklist/shopping approach, they would end up with more positive in person meetings and probably a better chance of actually getting to know someone that was right for them.

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@RavenCT Oh I can sing, but for one thing I'm a baritone, so I have to use the keychanger for most songs at karaoke and still limit myself some on which ones require too much high to low range. Secondly, as Clint Eastwood said in one of his Dirty Harry movies, " A man's got to know his limitations". And mine include anything sung by people like Steve Perry. Unfortunately, most karaoke singers do not know their limitations, much less care what they are. Esp. when they are drunk.....

My pick for the most Sing-Along-able Song of ALL TIME [youtu.be]

RavenCT comments on Feb 2, 2019:

But no one manages the high notes! ;-) This one is mine - you should see me driving a car when this comes on? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

Whenever a Journey song comes up on the lyrics screen when I'm at karaoke, I always cringe. Because I know with all the high notes and difficulty of their songs, the next few minutes are either going to be really good or really painful....

Sooooo.

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Sometimes I wonder if guys are juggling so many women they get the details confused.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@HippieChick58 Thank you, that's kind. I like to think I proved myself with my only marriage being a long and good one before my wife died. I know I can be a good and supportive partner, which my wife's dementia experience proved. I've never envied the players because I've never wanted what they want. I've always wanted the LTR with partnership.

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@mooredolezal I pretty well get to hear the new stuff on my local public radio station, 90.1 FM. Between their evening show for 3 hours and the NPR show World Cafe, it keeps me up to date.

Zeymour being Zeymour

BeeHappy comments on Feb 2, 2019:

So bossy! But Handsome! ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

He knows it! "You will revel in my awesomeness!"

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@mooredolezal Research studies have shown that most people quit growing musically or listening to new artists or genres at about age 35. My late wife, like me, was an exception, as she continued to listen to new artists like Adele and Bruno Mars into her late 60s.

I'm not usually not one to get sucked in by the sentimental.

BufftonBeotch comments on Feb 2, 2019:

People who are not conventionally pretty seem to have the best love stories.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@BufftonBeotch Yeah, Patti is very special and talented. I can see why Malethorpe was so drawn to her as well. She was his muse as an artist.

I'm not usually not one to get sucked in by the sentimental.

BufftonBeotch comments on Feb 2, 2019:

People who are not conventionally pretty seem to have the best love stories.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 2, 2019:

True. I think it's because they tend to more often have deeper character and also tend to appreciate what they have more than the beautiful do. The beautiful and/or wealthy tend to get most of what they want without having to do much to get it, relationship-wise.

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@mooredolezal I kept listening to new music until about the mid-90s and then I lost track of things like that until the last several years when I discovered an evening music show on public radio that plays new alternative stuff as well as older alternative stuff. That's how I heard about new Leonard Cohen music, Connor Oberst, and Dawes, for example.

And in an interesting turn of events, the man that I was going to dump via telephone last night, who...

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

If he’s a lovebombing toxic person, it might be a silent Hoover. He’s trying to see if you will cave in and call HIM. I assume the worst out of people, lol. And I’m often right on target. Restraining order-guy pulled a big suicide threat Hoover. I knew his address so I sent the cops to do ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 Very sick, desperate shit...

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@mooredolezal I was in college from 77-81 and for me it was simply a matter of continuing to listen to new music during college and after as the new bands came out. Instead of a girlfriend, I would learn about the new bands by visiting record stores, first in college, and then in my new town after I got my first real job after college. I never learned about new bands from radio because here in Iowa none of them would play these new bands at all. When I would call up a radio station and request New Wave music the DJs would actually say to me, " We don't consider that music". Assholes..... The other way I would learn about new bands and songs was to go to live shows at bars and hear bands cover some of the new artists. Yup, 78-85 I was mostly listening to New Wave while most of my fellow college peers were still listening to bullshit mainstream stuff like REO Speedwagon, Kansas, and the like. Man, how I hated the music they played at college dorm parties when I was there.

orange_girl comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Is that cat sad, because of porn hub?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Probably feeling sad and neglected..

Is 62 okay?

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I was born in '58, but in some ways I relate to the 80s Boomers as much as the ones who are my age peers. The reason for that is in the 80s I was still a very young man who continued to listen to new music and check out the new fashions and trends with interest. And, not only are The Smiths one of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@mooredolezal She drug you into the contemporary scene back then...

Sooooo.

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Sometimes I wonder if guys are juggling so many women they get the details confused.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Not the majority of us, only the players. As I've said before, I've met 5 women in person in 15 months on a paid site. So, that works out to one every three months, anything but juggling.....

And in an interesting turn of events, the man that I was going to dump via telephone last night, who...

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

If he’s a lovebombing toxic person, it might be a silent Hoover. He’s trying to see if you will cave in and call HIM. I assume the worst out of people, lol. And I’m often right on target. Restraining order-guy pulled a big suicide threat Hoover. I knew his address so I sent the cops to do ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Another new term it seems. Ok, what is a Hoover?

If you're a guy wanting to date, here's some advice that seems good: [30sleeps.

Sticks48 comments on Jan 28, 2019:

You go do things you enjoy doing, and you meet women who enjoy those same things. It is stupid to do things you don't enjoy doing and meeting women whose interests are not the same as yours. This is not that complicated.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Thank you Sticks! You just explained why I have no interest in attending events or groups that don't interest me just because there might be single women there. For me it would be a waste of time because they wouldn't share that interest with me and, because I have researched these groups that are part of Meetup.com, I already know that the women my age who are members of these groups are already on the paid dating site that I use. In other words, attending those groups would do nothing to increase my dating pool.

Update on the second date update.

Lorajay comments on Jan 31, 2019:

We can't wait to hear how he goes about making it up to you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@MissKathleen That's her choice. If someone disrespects me, they don't get second chances...

Update on the second date update.

Lorajay comments on Jan 31, 2019:

We can't wait to hear how he goes about making it up to you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 31, 2019:

If I were her, I wouldn't give him the chance, he's a bullshitter....

Let's grow old together???

Kynlei comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Old and rounder ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Makes the ears look smaller.

So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...

bleurowz comments on Jan 27, 2019:

@webbew1 @TomMcGiverin @Chilton704 Tagging all of you. I just finished watching the broadcast. I thought they did a pretty good job, for the most part. I'm kind of pissed at Fox though, because the live feed didn't come on until a couple of minutes in, so of course I missed the opening "Seasons of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 28, 2019:

The more I think about the broadcast last nite as well as the concert version of JCS, I'm beginning to think there will always be a tradeoff when the networks do these live broadcasts of musicals. On the one hand, the live audiences provide a lot of energy to the performances and yet, at the same time they detract from the performances as the audience cheers and makes noise that sometimes overwhelms the vocals of the cast, so we miss some of the lyrics of songs. It comes down to the differences in etiquette between a rock concert and a stage musical. In the former, it's ok to shout, cheer, and even sing along with the performer. In the latter, the audience is to stay quiet except for applause at the end of a song, with the exception of laughter at obvious humor. I think it's great that these TV productions are bringing musical theater to an audience that might not otherwise attend a musical theater production, but when I watch these broadcasts, it's clear the audience is either not used to following the usual protocol for stage performances or else that the producers of these shows are encouraging the audience to be very vocal and act like they are at a rock concert. The truth is that it's probably some of both going on.

So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...

bleurowz comments on Jan 27, 2019:

@webbew1 @TomMcGiverin @Chilton704 Tagging all of you. I just finished watching the broadcast. I thought they did a pretty good job, for the most part. I'm kind of pissed at Fox though, because the live feed didn't come on until a couple of minutes in, so of course I missed the opening "Seasons of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 28, 2019:

@bleurowz Probably just your local Fox station.

So, the live broadcast of Rent will be coming to primetime TV tomorrow (FOX TV, Sunday January 27, ...

bleurowz comments on Jan 27, 2019:

@webbew1 @TomMcGiverin @Chilton704 Tagging all of you. I just finished watching the broadcast. I thought they did a pretty good job, for the most part. I'm kind of pissed at Fox though, because the live feed didn't come on until a couple of minutes in, so of course I missed the opening "Seasons of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 27, 2019:

On my TV the local Fox station carried the whole thing and didn't leave out a second of SOL.

Question for the ladies: how many of you on the dating websites (excluding this one) actively look ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I never used to message a guy first. That felt very uncomfortable for me. But now, if I see a profile that interests me, I will message first. I might get messages back 20% of the time and out of that I might meet someone. But probably not! lol. Occasionally I get to go on a date.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@MojoDave My return rate on messages I send to women on a paid site is about 5%.

Why do we fall for people who don't work for us? [dailymail.co.uk]

bobwjr comments on Jan 23, 2019:

It's frustrating you see someone you like and don't get a second look because you are a caring person I think I am not alone in this.many of the guys on this site have same problem . Most any woman here has many followers the men generally don't. These wonderful women are so gun shy they don't look ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

Actually I have had a fair number of women on this site choose to follow my posts and comments, and I think I am, at least in relationships, more the nice guy type than most guys. I think the women on this site are more intelligent and open-minded about being attracted to nice guys than the ones in the general pop., at least the ones on this site that participate in the forums. I have some confidence that if there were more women on this site in my area who were my age, and also the type to participate in the discussions, that I could find someone compatible to date from here.

Buyer beware.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 24, 2019:

In my experience, there are female golddiggers or scammers on paid dating sites, but not female players. Or if there are, they have never bothered trying to play me. I'm a 6 on a good day and none of the women who have ever messaged me back with any interest looked better than an 8, and that's been ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@273kelvin Go ahead if you like, but what people need to know is that my profile essay on the paid site is much longer and more detailed than my bio on this site, completely different than here. Plus, revising my bio here is fairly meaningless because, as I have said before on these boards, there aren't any local women for me to try and date on this site so it won't affect my chances for the forseeable future.

Seeing as we all live so far away from each other (for the most part) lets hear some tips.

Stephanie99 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

Finding intelligent, with the exception of this site, seems like too big of a reach. On a certain site where they match questions, one is: "Are you more intelligent than other people?". I have only seen one person say "no". Everyone says "yes". Messaging a bit reveals otherwise.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

This site is full of intellectuals. On paid sites, I almost never see a female profile that seems to openly identify the member as an intellectual. In my state, intellectuals are either feared or sneered at, so people are afraid to come off that way to others on a dating site, probably even more so for women as many men are intimidated by smart women. Maybe not on this site, but in the general pop.. In my state, to get along and fit in you have to at least act like you care about farming and college sports, etc..

So.

lerlo comments on Jan 20, 2019:

To each his/her own. Anyone who has been on a dating site knows that everyone has their own desires. If everyone agreed dating wouldn't be so difficult. Your friend probably didn't tell you about the 10 guys that responded to her that were age-appropriate but she just didn't like them. Why didn't ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@SukiSue I am seeking someone my age to grow older with after being widowed, but I can tell you from my paid dating site experience that most women in my area who are age 53-55 (I am 60) will not date someone my age but will date someone as much as 15 years younger than them, according to their profiles. So it's not just men who seek much younger dating partners. I will date as much as 8 years older than me, but that probably won't prevent me from dying alone...

This place has 2 goals.

MizJ comments on Jan 21, 2019:

I am 70 miles south of you and there is only a small dating pool here. Take away the guys wearing camouflage and the bible thumpers and there is nothing left. I have volunteered for several organizations, taken classes, etc., and have found making friends and meeting potential mates impossible. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

I feel your pain. My area has a very small pool of women who are my age on this site and contacting them has been a waste of time. Plus, no new members to that pool in the last 12 months, so obviously no advertising is reaching women my age in my area.

Buyer beware.

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 23, 2019:

Such great advice. See my post about my lunch date today. Nothing special when we met, but by the time we parted he was at the top of my list. But I would also add to your comment that there are a lot of women who think they're a 5 or a 6 but are in fact an 8 or a 9. I lost the photogenic ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@273kelvin Only if the profile gets read. 60% of the women I message with interest never view my profile because my main pic doesn't look attractive enough to interest them after they read my message. The main profile pic is then far more important than the profile, at least in my case. I suspect that if I had a full head of hair I would get a lot more interest at that stage of the process. But just as likely is the fact that women who are above-average looking get dozens of messages a day and just reject all but the top 30% of men by their main pics so they can keep their messages from piling up too fast. It would be the easiest and fastest way to narrow down who to move forward with, so that's what I suspect happens and I believe I've seen studies cited on this site that agree with that.

So, lunch date today and it’s an intriguing one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I would never meet someone at a Cracker Barrel, even tho I like their food. Reason, I hate country music and that's what they play there. Wouldn't want that distracting and bothering me when meeting someone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@ProudMerrie Not for me, even in 2019. I've lived in Iowa my whole life and it's actually the whitest state in the country, only a 3% black population. Most people in Iowa grew up in small towns, where there are usually no black folks. So, even in my area, with a large population, most of those people still grew up in small towns and never met any black people until they moved to the Des Moines area. So seeing inter-racial couples is still a new thing to them and thus they stare. In the Des Moines metro area (pop. 250K), the only places I still don't see staring at interracial couples is at the jazz, reggae or blues music concerts where those couples are common and the rest of the crowd is made up of fellow hipsters.

So, lunch date today and it’s an intriguing one.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I would never meet someone at a Cracker Barrel, even tho I like their food. Reason, I hate country music and that's what they play there. Wouldn't want that distracting and bothering me when meeting someone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@ProudMerrie I guess it depends on the location. The one in West Des Moines plays country music all the time in the whole place. Good move letting him pick the place. I know in my area there would have been some staring, at least from other customers.

So, lunch date today and it’s an intriguing one.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I've never been to cracker barrel... What's it like?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

The husband of a friend of mine works at one, as kind of a retirement job. He does it just for extra money and to get out of the house while his wife, my friend, is still working. He gets free meals out of it too when he works. The funny thing is that, like me, he's very left wing and non-racist, but he probably just avoids any discussions with co-workers that might get bigoted. He retired from being a mail carrier, so he's used to dealing with bigoted co-workers.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I'll lay out my process and see what others think. Since I am a man, like most men on paid dating sites, I know that very few women, at least in Iowa, will send the first message even if they might be interested in me. So I make the first move. I look at the woman's main profile pic. If it looks at ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 Thank you. My process is good, but my results are lousy. I've only met 5 women in person over 15 months and I don't think it's because I'm too picky. It's because I am too far out of the mainstream here in Iowa as far as culture (Christian beliefs, social drinking, love of college sports, country music, very family-oriented, etc.).

So I was on this single's site the other night, and saw an ad from a decent looking guy, saying he...

Dancing comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I've had fwb relationships in my past and they have worked well for me. I've actually had more longterm fwb than longterm relationships. They did all evolved into fwb. I don't know how that would even happen with online dating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

From some of the profiles I've seen on paid dating sites, the women with those are really seeking more of a FWB than a regular dating relationship, they just don't come right out and say it.

I want to hear the funny stories. ???

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I have one. I’ll try to keep my language in check! Met a guy on a dating site for us older people...I’m 58, he was 62. It went well the first few weeks so we decided to go to Pigeon Forge for a fall weekend. It was a good day driving over, great weather and leaf colors; the hotel room was nice ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 This is about a month too late, but fitting, " All I want for Christmas is a Restraining Order...". Your story is funnier than most of the scripts I see for cable TV sitcoms...and you tell it with such witty detail. Little doubt what kind of videos he'd been watching.

I want to hear the funny stories. ???

CarolinaGirl60 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I have one. I’ll try to keep my language in check! Met a guy on a dating site for us older people...I’m 58, he was 62. It went well the first few weeks so we decided to go to Pigeon Forge for a fall weekend. It was a good day driving over, great weather and leaf colors; the hotel room was nice ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

This "older" guy wouldn't move that fast with someone, but you're a bolder soul than me. I agree with your diagnosis of him.

"please do not mention dating sites by name" That seems weird to me.. may i ask why?

273kelvin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I dont see the problem if you are dissing a person you met there not the site.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@hippydog The paid dating sites.

"please do not mention dating sites by name" That seems weird to me.. may i ask why?

273kelvin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I dont see the problem if you are dissing a person you met there not the site.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

The site's lawyers might not see it that way.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@273kelvin Sounds like she decided from seeing you IRL that you are only friendzone material and that you are now a textbuddy. Glad you are enjoying it, but I would not be interested in settling for that. I already have enough friends.

"please do not mention dating sites by name" That seems weird to me.. may i ask why?

kenriley comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I was wondering if I joined other dating sites, if I would see some of the same people from this site?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@kenriley DK, I can only guess that her interest is just limited to meeting someone local for dating, other than me, and not interested in discussion or making friends with other members.

"please do not mention dating sites by name" That seems weird to me.. may i ask why?

kenriley comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I was wondering if I joined other dating sites, if I would see some of the same people from this site?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

You probably would see some of the same people, depending on your local area. In my experience, I ran across one woman who was on a paid site and then she joined here after she left the same paid site we were both on. She is from my area, but she never participates in the forum discussions. In fact, none of the women from my area who are my age appear to have participated in the forums during the last year. But that's probably not unusual as most members here probably only lurk and/or use the site for meeting people to date thru PMs.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@273kelvin I did message one woman that didn't have a pic. She explained that she did that because of her job and did send me a couple pics after I asked her for one. She was attractive enough for me to want to meet her, but we didn't because we ran into a dealbreaker issue first thru messaging. I won't repeat that again when a woman doesn't have a pic with her profile because the dealbreaker issue was also something that most women mention in their profile and this one didn't.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Jeez- I can see why most women are so scared for their safety. All these guys were messed up. Explains why women are so turned off whenever a man makes sexual or even suggestive remarks until they have met in person at least several times. I would have to meet at least that many times before I would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@MissKathleen I mostly agree. My profile has been proofed by several people, mostly women and revised a few times, it's as good as it can get. Yes, most women do read profiles, but only on a minority of the men who message them because they simply don't have the time when they get so many messages. And, as I said, even tho I write very good initial messages reaching out to women, only about 30-40% of them end up viewing my my profile, simply because of how many other men are messaging them. As EyesThatSmile from this site said to me, I simply have too much competition and so most women I am interested in never even see my profile.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@273kelvin I once in a great while get a message from a woman with no pic, same with profile views. I will not respond if there's no pic and I won't reach out to someone with no pic. If they are missing much in answering the profile ?s, I won't message them either, because there isn't enough info.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Jeez- I can see why most women are so scared for their safety. All these guys were messed up. Explains why women are so turned off whenever a man makes sexual or even suggestive remarks until they have met in person at least several times. I would have to meet at least that many times before I would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@MissKathleen In my online experience, women who have chatted with me from the paid site about the process, say they get tons of messages and they do use pics as the first line of screening which guys to pick for viewing their profile. From there, they then pick which ones to reply to based on the guy's pics, profile and content of their message to the woman. So, in the first place, not having a handsome enough main pic means in most cases your profile won't even be looked at. In my experience, that's true, most women I message don't even see my profile. After having attractive enough pics, then having a confident and compatible profile for that woman then comes into play. That's where the more passive guys get screened out of the process, if they already haven't been on looks.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

MissKathleen comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Scary. Enough to make me not want to meet anyone from any site.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

I don't blame you. I have been trading messages for a few weeks now with a woman who has been on three paid sites so far and was about ready to give up for good on online dating. She is very wary of meeting in person, but now I can see why.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Jeez- I can see why most women are so scared for their safety. All these guys were messed up. Explains why women are so turned off whenever a man makes sexual or even suggestive remarks until they have met in person at least several times. I would have to meet at least that many times before I would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@MissKathleen Oh, I think I have a lot of company among men. It's just that being a more passive, nice guy type, we usually end up being passed over in the process for guys that are more aggressive and confident. That, I think, is the Catch-22. Women like guys who come off confident, but on the other hand, these same men are also more likely to be less of a gentleman than the more passive, sensitive types. What's a woman to do, right?

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 22, 2019:

My first experience was on here. At that time I had an actual profile photo. His was very attractive. We messaged and talked on the phone for I think something like six weeks before we actually met in person. When we met, the physical attraction was immediate and strong.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Good for you. You're lucky this site had someone compatible in your area. I have yet to meet anyone in person from here. Traded messages with a couple and talked on the phone with one.

The 1st guy that I actually met irl seemed like a good match.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Wow, never had anything like that. Glad you found out before you had sex with him. I've only met 5 women in 15 months. Out of those five, I was only physically attracted to one of them and, of course, she wasn't to me..

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@kenriley No offense, but you're bald like me and around the same level of looks, so I would guess your online dating would turn out about the same. Average looking guys meet maybe 6-8 women a year in person with online dating. Women generally get a lot more attention and have the opportunity to meet a lot more men than that, even if they have standards. The better looking guys do the vast majority of actual dates from online dating while guys like us sit on the sidelines, along with the below average-looking women.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@SleeplessInTexas Ok, so that sounds like a minimum standard to me, correct? I think you have a lot of company among women, that will not date a bald man. But my point is that you do screen on looks, like I do, at least on some things and would not message back a bald man after seeing his pic.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@SleeplessInTexas My point is that regardless of what is in their profile, would you message a man back if his profile pics looked downright ugly or below average in his looks? Because I think most if not all people do have minimum standards on looks and screen out messaging people who don't at least meet those standards.

The 1st guy that I actually met irl seemed like a good match.

escapetypist comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I wonder if I'd have better luck with women if I pretended to be married pretending to be single

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Depends on the woman.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

I get all that and agree, but don't you think that everyone screens to some degree according to looks? Are you saying that, for example, if you got messages from 100 different men a week, that you would reply to even the men who were below-average looking? I doubt most women would... I screen some according to looks as well as other traits which are dealbreakers to me, like whether the woman identifies as being very family-oriented, politically conservative, likes country music a lot, is fairly religious, etc.. I won't message a woman if her pics don't seem at all attractive to me and I think most people are that way, men and women.

Is anyone who they seem?

Sticks48 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Eventually, you need to talk on the phone. You really can't get a real read on someone in print. People can be whomever they want to be on line. Some might be able to fake it on the phone, but not as easily, where questions are answered on the spot. People also miss read what people print. I have ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

I agree. If someone online seems compatible, I want to either meet in person or at least have a phone call after I've traded a few messages. Anything else makes me wonder why they are reluctant or if they are hiding something. Message trading can be confusing and will only get you so far anyway. In person is the real test for chemistry and more of a real idea who they are. Most women are ok with meeting in person after reading my profile and then trading a few messages with me, if they even reply to me in the first place. But I am ok with having a phone call before they meet me. So far only two women wanted to talk by phone before meeting. The others were ok with meeting sans phone talk after trading messages a few times.

Ok Merrie.

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 22, 2019:

That was my thought. I guess I spent too many years working for attorneys. Of course, there are ways around that of course because the English language is such a marvelous thing, particularly if you're out in a boat reeling in rainbow trout. ;)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

That's what I thought. Now, as to that rainbow trout thing, I saw that reference in another thread. Can you spell that one out for me?

I was supposed to have a lunch date today with a new guy I met online but we postponed it until ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

You're a brave soul to consider relocating at our age. Are you doing so to escape where you live or for someone you want to date?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@ProudMerrie I hear you. I feel somewhat that way about my area. Everyone is so damn family-oriented, unlike me, even the women without kids.

Rape Culture No Myth.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 21, 2019:

Reminds me of the swimmer from Stanford. This guy got away with it because he was rich and connected. The rich and connected have always gotten away with things, whether they are a Kennedy or a Repub.. It's not about their politics, it's about their class status.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@GinaKay Yes it is and always has been. We have one justice system for the rich and another for everyone else. I'll believe otherwise as soon prisons have a fitting % of rich folks.

I stopped at a local restaurant after shopping today.

Lilith comments on Jan 21, 2019:

I go to a weekly cocktail party at a nice little bar in town. It really is "Where everyone knows your name" and we do not look at our phones but chatter away into the night. I am lucky.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

That sounds lovely. I bet they are all Boomers tho, like you and I. Younger folks would never choose to engage that way.

It costs nothing, NOTHING, to treat another with respect.

TheMiddleWay comments on Jan 20, 2019:

I respect everyone until they show me disrespect... then, I show them even more respect! By showing respect to everyone and everything at every time not only am I leading by example in how to show respect but I don't give them an excuse to increase their disrespect because I've disrespected ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

@TheMiddleWay I don't care about changing them and I don't expect to. You are making assumptions about my intent. I also don't care about them changing their attitude towards me. Once they disrespect me, I have already written off caring how they feel about me and am just interested in embarrassing them and letting them know they dissed the wrong guy. Enjoy your kumbaya approach without me......

It costs nothing, NOTHING, to treat another with respect.

TheMiddleWay comments on Jan 20, 2019:

I respect everyone until they show me disrespect... then, I show them even more respect! By showing respect to everyone and everything at every time not only am I leading by example in how to show respect but I don't give them an excuse to increase their disrespect because I've disrespected ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

Disagree. I give respect for openers, but my golden rule is that I give back to others what they give to me. Disrespect me and the gloves come off, as I can verbally be one nasty SOB. I love verbal combat in those situations and can hold my own with the best of them, including lawyers. Of course, I do pick my battles to avoid those who could physically whup me. Haven't been punched yet.

I stopped at a local restaurant after shopping today.

Deiter comments on Jan 21, 2019:

Before Louis CK's fall, he did an interesting bit on how people have become so uncomfortable with just sitting in their thoughts, with the sadness or loneliness or whatever it is they're hoping to find escape from in their smart phones, that they can no longer do what was once a major part of normal...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

@Wildflower I miss having a partner, but I am fine with my own company in public. I can read, just sit and enjoy my thoughts, or talk to a stranger. All are equally comfortable for me. But not the younger folks, they don't seem to be able to stand it without their phones to stare into.

This place has 2 goals.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 20, 2019:

There's nobody for me either from this site in my area. I'm as fed up with it as you. Paid sites are the only other real option, at least for me, of meeting anyone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

@Lillyfield41 Already tried it for two years, never meet anyone to date. I'm already doing the activities that interest me. Not interested in wasting time going to ones that don't interest me when it won't increase my chances of meeting someone to date. Those activities don't have any single women that aren't already on Match. I know, because I have checked the Meetup.com groups for those activities and saw the same women from Match listed as members of these groups. Don't assume when you haven't done the research....

The changing meanings of words from one country to another. Any examples?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 20, 2019:

My father's side of the family has ancestors from Catholic Northern Ireland. If I had grown up there, with my socialist political leanings, I likely would not have ended up non-violent and would instead most likely would have joined the IRA, as did some of my distant relatives from there. Geography ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

@SimonCyrene I admire that in you Simon, I'm just doubtful I would have turned out that way, being honest. As I understand it, the conflict in Northern Ireland has never really been that much about religion and more about ethnic discrimination and civil rights based on religious identity. For example, not being able to get decent housing or a job because your family is Catholic, even if you are not a practicing member. In other words tribalism based on family history.

Been looking, no luck yet. ?????

Deiter comments on Jan 20, 2019:

Am I cynical or do people who make the claim "I'm not a game-player. I like nice guys," are probably lying?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

@ProudMerrie No, PM, you're not a player, at least not in my book. You're handling things the same way I would in your shoes. And no, BTW, if a woman lied by several years about their age, I would reject them too, as that would probably be only the the first in a series of lies they would tell...

Meeting people?

Carin comments on Jan 20, 2019:

There just don't seem to be as many members in the south.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

Maybe because it's full of Bible-thumpers, crackers, and rednecks. Too unliveable for folks like us.

Been looking, no luck yet. ?????

Deiter comments on Jan 20, 2019:

Am I cynical or do people who make the claim "I'm not a game-player. I like nice guys," are probably lying?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

You are not cynical. I am on Match and I try to steer clear of the profiles that say that because they are probably either lying or else projecting when they say they are not a game player, ie. doth protest too much...

Fahrenheit 11/9 included with Amazon Prime.

GuyKeith comments on Jan 19, 2019:

This is a very sobering documentary. It is very hard to watch. It is beyond infuriating. How our voters, with their apathy and ignorance, allowed this to happen is shocking. Politicians only care about power and money. They have successfully harvested the apathy, racism and ignorance of the American...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Great review Keith. I wish we weren't doomed, but I think we are. I saw it anyway, depression or not. In the past, Moore has gone too easy on the corrupt Dems and that was something I faulted him on, but he was giving the whole picture of blame here.

Does society owe lazy or stupid a living?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

how do you define stupid or lazy? someone perhaps who thinks "there" means "their"? and if so, which is it -- too stupid to know the difference, or too lazy to learn it? how does THAT feel -- being judged by someone who doesn't know you? maybe you used voice and it put in the wrong word; maybe ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Your comment speaks volumes, g. This irrational resentment of the "undeserving" is one of the big reasons we don't have single payer healthcare like the rest of the First World. I can't count the number of times I've heard hicks or rednecks in my state say that having single payer would be wrong because "all those illegal Mexicans" would be eligible, to which I tell them, " So you would rather go without affordable health care, just to spite them?" Stupid is as stupid does....

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

GwenC comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I have found in my experience on other dating sites that most people don't pay attention to a specified age range anyway, so why list it?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@pasha-one-nine I saw that movie too and liked it. There's thread on here about that movie. I don't remember that quote tho. I'm not afraid to make the first move, just don't want to waste my time with additional first messages to women who will reject me on age, if nothing else, if their profile can simply specify their dating age range and spare me the trouble. I already send out at least a couple dozen of those a month as it is.

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@Wildflower Noted. I hovered on him but didn't see an age listed, so I had no idea he was 70.

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@dahermit Where there's enough money, there is always someone willing to make the transaction.... Most of us prefer relationships that are not a business transaction, but to each.....

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

MsAl comments on Jan 19, 2019:

It is a question on the profile. I wonder why it doesn't show up for everyone to see. Also the distance willing to travel question. I see the compatibility ratings for people who are far outside my preferred age and distance.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

You may be right. If someone visits someone's profile, they probably can click on a button and get the member's answer to the age range ?, but it's not there on the bio that you see when you first click on someone's avatar. I agree with you that it's kind of pointless that the site displays compatibility ratings for members who are outside your preferred age range and distance. Nope- When you visit someone's profile, there isn't a way to find out what their dating age range is. It will tell you their preferred distance and if they will relocate or not, but that's it.

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

GwenC comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I have found in my experience on other dating sites that most people don't pay attention to a specified age range anyway, so why list it?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe most people don't honor or respect the wishes of the person's range, but I do and I don't want to waste my time messaging someone who will reject me for being too old for them. You must not be aware of how much men get rejected on paid dating sites in the first place, since they end up having to do almost all of the reaching out in the first place on those sites, so why shouldn't they at least get a little help avoiding the women who will reject them on age?

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@Wildflower I respectfully disagree on the everyone line and will leave it at that. I don't care enough to PM members about it in general. If I was interested in dating someone who lived in my area, of course I would PM them with my interest in dating them and would of course find out that way. I have no quarrel with others that date people far apart from them in age. My late wife was 16 years older than me and it worked great. But I was much younger when I met her and now having been widowed and being much older than I was then, I won't date someone that much older as I don't want to be widowed again anytime soon..

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

I understand, but I think everyone has some personal range of how low or high they will go. I see comments all the time on here about someone being irritated or even offended at PMs from someone as young as their adult kids or someone as old as their parent. As my bio says, I am open to as young as 11 years younger (tho for all practical purposes, that is pretty meaningless as very few women more than 5 years younger than me will date someone my age at least on Match) and 8 years older.

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen Maybe someone else will. I've done my best. Maybe look at yourself, as not that many people on here seem to end up arguing with me. It's not my day to be responsible for you. Now, would you like a block or are we done?

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen It was related to the topic, as the man's problem was a sense of entitlement. My comments appear to have been fine with the OP, LiterateHiker, and there was probably a reason she shared that the man was a retired lawyer as she felt it was pertinent to his sense of entitlement. Let the OP speak for herself, Kathleen. She could have made your criticism for herself and I would have gladly accepted it. I'm done.....

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen Yes there are, but way fewer women will pair up with them. Their status is low value, to use the modern term.

This isn't how an elder should be treated in representing his people in peaceful protest.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I guess I am just too old and cynical, but I no longer have the desire to attend these kind of protests and participate in the ritual of confrontation and theater with the opposing side. It seems to change nothing and there is no meaningful interaction. Yes, these kids are empty-headed idiots, as ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@Charity I guess I just assume these days that any public political event is going to draw counter-protesters and that is just a risk and presence you have to expect.

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen How is that different than what I said? My point is that the fact of some women being attracted to him as he is allows him to stay as he is. If he couldn't find anyone willing to accept his crap, he would seriously consider changing his ways and probably end up doing so. I concede that not only women he dated but probably others as well-friends, family- have played a role in allowing him to be that way with no consequences.

Is online long distance dating a complete waste of time?

mordant comments on Jan 19, 2019:

No. Although that doesn't address the larger question of how good a use of one's time relationships are to begin with. Everyone will answer these questions differently. Any effective strategy for finding a S.O. will NOT rely on a single web site or a single strategy and it will not overlook ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

And many times, including my case, even doing as you suggest is not enough due to the competition and numbers game that it is.

Is online long distance dating a complete waste of time?

Holysocks comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I spent 4 years in an online relationship, proposed marriage online, went to meet her, and she suddenly had a job offer in Egypt.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@HomeAloneSunday I have the same rule, 55 mile distance. Reason for that is to include women from a city with a very liberal small college in it.

Walmart gains patent to eavesdrop on shoppers and employees in stores - CNET

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 19, 2019:

As I said in another thread about empathy, going in a Walmart makes me feel like I am visiting someone in prison. This news only confirms that. The employees don't want to be there and neither do most of the customers, who are too poor to shop anywhere else. Both the employees and customers have ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@HippieChick58 Yeah, he's lying. I'm retired and have all the time I need to wait, so I won't use a self-check line. It's my sort of passive way of standing up for my fellow humans that need jobs, futile as my protest may be. So few people realize that by using the self-check they are making a political choice against other workers. Hell, every choice we make about where we shop-local vs. corporate chain, what we spend our money on- amounts to a political choice that has consequences... The only thing that will make most of this moot is if we get a UBI, a Universal Basic Income, which would replace work for financially supporting the population that are unemployable due to outsourcing and automation.

Ahhh the 50's

Charlene comments on Jan 19, 2019:

This is the absolute truth of the 50's..Donna Reid was a lie..

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Not trying to be a know-it-all, but Donna Reed came from my state and you spelled her last name wrong. The slogan should more truthfully say make America white again...It was a great time to be a straight white Christian male, just not so great for everybody else... Pleasantville was such a cute movie..