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Dark humor
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 27, 2019:
You're quoting Dr. Demento.
Am I a troll if I only troll trolls?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 27, 2019:
Free speech also means freedom to offend. Most people are offended when someone post something that doesn't match their views. The extremely smug therefore support getting rid of the trolls or people with a different and often supportable views. That's why the trolls are frequently removed from discussion groups. That in turn supports the 20th century proverb "The press is only free if you own one." Disclaimer: I've lost count of how many discussion groups I've been thrown out of.
If even a quarter of this is true, this could be the legal noose around Trump and his acolytes ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2019:
When the final appeal to these charges are in, Trump will have died of old age.
Does age matter in a relationship? I'm in a age gap relationship with American older guy he's 48 and...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 7, 2019:
First, she's from the Philippines. About two years ago, I was floored by a gal from the Philippines who was 26 years my junior and wanted me dump my spouse. She kept writing me Facebook PMs of her undying love for me. Sometimes, she'd tie me up for two hours with those lovelorn PMs. After a point, I started doing a LOT of research on the Philippines. It was a case of what the fuck, over? This reaction is part of their **culture.** Many an elderly ex-pat from the states drops their jaws when they move to the Philippines and find out how many young women want them. Their families endorse this reaction. I kid you not. A few of the stories about love there made me drop my jaw before I started repeating the old saw "It's a WHOLE 'nother country." Some of this is because it's viewed as one way to get out of the Philippines. Age isn't the problem. They're happy with older guys. The problem is once state side it takes them a long time to get a work permit and they hate hanging around the house. Next they start missing their family and wondering why they can't get any chicken feet for the BBQ. Culture shock starts to set in. The age difference is NOT the problem. It's a totally different set of problems. Now, I've started thinking it sounds like a nice country to visit for a month or so. How I'm going to leave Petunia behind is a different problem.
The righteous indignation of the republicans yesterday was nauseating. The optimist buried deep ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 19, 2019:
## I was impressed how many of them were blaming Hillary as well as sticking to charges long since disproved by reputable news media.
Good plan!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 15, 2020:
## Said no doctor ever.
Takes his lead from him
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2020:
## In contrast Trump stays seated inside the car behind bullet proof windows because race car fans are good at shooting moving objects.
that will do it !
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 28, 2019:
As if the guy is going to list all 200 channels and what's on them.
Trump Now Bragging About TV Ratings for Coronavirus Briefings President Trump took to Twitter ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2020:
## I can see Homer Simpson chanting "We're number one! We're number one!"
"Daddy's gun tastes like pennies."
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 7, 2019:
"Me, fail English? That's unpossible."
Trump administration briefing on Iran angers Republican senators, boosts effort to restrict ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 9, 2020:
## It's about time.
Should I run ....
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 22, 2019:
Run for it and experience target practice.
Everyone's favorite huckster, Anti-Fred, is back. How long do you think he will last this time? ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 10, 2019:
## My entire bio is "It's me." We all know what chaos I've left in my wake. He didn't write a bio? Give 'em hell Anti-Fred. You couldn't find a more deserving group.
Made it out for Beer and Rolly Derby last Saturday night... sponsored by a local Wasilla craft ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:
## A meme that features a dog and a cow. Oh, yea, the matching women ready to go at it at on skating rink. Sounds like a good excuse for binge drinking.
Science.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 7, 2019:
What is that picture?
What a maroon
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 30, 2019:
My forecast for 2019 is summed up with:
Coronavirus vs the common flu just as a common-sense comparison [statnews.com] ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 9, 2020:
## Okay, now is the time to panic. Throw your hands over your head, scream and run in circles.
So who doesn't?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 19, 2020:
## The older use for "deviled" meant they added spice. In the case of deviled eggs, paprika. Likewise an older meaning for "corned" meant to add spice, ergo corned beef. This message has been brought to you by English majors for Satan.
[yahoo.com] Tommy Lee, of Motley Crue, riles up Trumpsters with political message about what will...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 9, 2019:
"He [Tommy Lee] asked, “Do you like Donald Trump? I don’t either. He’s a f**ing idiot. He also called him a “f**king moron.”"
INFRA DIG. - Adjective...below what you deem to be socially acceptable; beneath one; demeaning. ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 11, 2019:
## I have low standards for my dignity.
Today 2 of our members are challenging me for definining Leftists as a non-hate group. This group is...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 10, 2019:
Oh, come on. Let's hate political groups that don't support Leftists.
marionville need your help, had concussion so me brain is having trouble spelling, tried the old ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 23, 2019:
## I've largely abandoned a physical dictionary for Google. Generally if I can get anywhere close to spelling it, Google will offer a suggestion for the correct spelling. At least you haven't been confused by demi-sexual, graysexual, pansexual, skoliosexual and Satan save us all, autosexual. That last one doesn't mean you're doing the dirty with a VW.
Oh well.... I guess god doesn't agree [youtube.com]
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 30, 2019:
## When Petunia hears me comment about things religious, she steps away from me. She figures when God throws the lighting bolts, His aim might be off.
Roy, the Atheist shares his hidden talents.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2019:
I **used** to love Halloween. Here in my town the fundamentalists want it to be a church affair. They have kids going from trunk to trunk at the church, calling it "trunk or treat." As a result I rarely see the neighborhood kids showing up at my front door, no matter how much I decorate. Despite the spelling there is no fun in fundamentalism.
Listening to tina turner, Whats love got to do with it,just a second hand emotion what good is a ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 10, 2019:
It's not required to marry the affair of the moment.
Science...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 29, 2019:
Water killed more people than alcohol. Remember the flood?
Words to live by.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 31, 2019:
Like that would stop anyone.
XENODOCHIAL. - Adjective...describing something - such as a person, place or software application ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Oct 3, 2019:
## It doesn't describe where I live. Seconds after you start flapping your jaws around here the classic reply is "Jew t'ain't from 'round cheer, are you?"
I'm curious to know if some of you can't help themselves saying " Thank God" or Oh my God", even ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 16, 2019:
When dropping a can on my foot in the supermarket, I hear the guilty by standers snicker when I say "Fudge sickles!" or same sounding oaths. Just naughty enough for them say "Huh?" Took me a life time to get out of the habits of the more common oaths like saying "thank God" for jalopenaia!
ZENITH. - Noun...the time at which something is at it’s most powerful or successful. Synonyms; ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 22, 2019:
## The opening post was sponsored by the Acme Company.
Like all the money blown going after Clintons emails
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 2, 2019:
He brought in investors on those casinos before he bankrupted them.
Good Morning All. Late morning for me and Dan. Out to late breakfast. Then to Social Security, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:
Is **that** what downtown Albany looks like? Gollee, I never knew. ;-)
It is disrespectful to post another members city/town on the page without their permission, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:
Considering almost nobody in this organization uses their **real** name, I can't see somebody driving around Atlanta, Ga, window rolled down yelling "Anyone know the 99th Warthog? He looks like a dead British guy."
Hey Everyone. For those that have received a T Shirt from Agnostic.com., please let me know if you ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 23, 2019:
It took a few months before my t-shirt arrived and after I kept mentioning it in the posts. When it did arrive, the wife either threw it away or hid it. 😣😣😣😖😖😫😫
Wanna play
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 24, 2019:
. . . and that's why I watch women's beach volley ball.
Music has the power to make us smile. And bring us to all types of tears. It can carry us back in ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 14, 2019:
My late drinking partner was so bad at guitar, he was only invited to jam with the band when they needed to clear out the night club.
Noah's ark did not exist
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 27, 2019:
A clear case of leave it to Beaver.
Oh, waaah!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 31, 2019:
If you're offended too bad because I'm a repeat offender.
This is a honey bee. The pollen on her legs is from dandelions. Her tongue is sticking out due to ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 11, 2019:
I'm a beekeeper and I endorse this message. Under most conditions bees have no interest in stinging anything. I've had them working hard in the yard and ran the lawn mower over them. They never stung me because I mowed the yard. Now if you want to start tearing the hive apart to get the honey, they will have issues with you. However, if your want to stick your arm **inside** the hive, 99% of them will ignore you. You can't get anywhere near a wasp's home without getting the holy who ha's stung out of you.
It’s important
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 6, 2019:
How do you define "obsession" again?
AAAAAND I'm in a timeout.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 8, 2019:
Afterwards, he'll go back to writing for Breitbart and the National Enquirer.
Breadstick
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 9, 2019:
No thanks.
A man's worst nightmare...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 31, 2019:
## They give guys in rest homes Viagra so they won't roll out of bed.
Ok.. we’ve had discussions on this thread about dating site profiles that go beyond what might be ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## . . . and be a shining beacon in a land of hopeless ninnies.
Fun at Disneyland!
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 23, 2019:
Golly.
Back from NH and court today. Trying to absorb what went down. No ruling yet but my lawyer is ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 12, 2019:
>Can't find any paperwork that clouds my property deed. To prove the house is in their name, they need to find the deed. Of course, it couldn't hurt to show the judge the deed that says you own the house.
Cruising the Internet today and came across a perfectly luscious word for this group. ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 21, 2019:
## Pick one who would have no navel: God, Adam or Eve?
This is not a complete and total vindication of President Trump. 10 Important Conclusions. ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:
The video gives a rehash of various view points with **added** commercials.
specious... superficially plausible, but actually wrong. "a specious argument" misleading in ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Oct 23, 2019:
>misleading in appearance, especially misleadingly attractive. ## I've had wild affairs with those women.
There is a guy on Match that I'm not really interested in meeting, maybe because I am 99.9% sure ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 22, 2019:
## Tell him you'll be catching a ride with your butch girlfriend that weekend. She's got a load of tires in her 18 wheeler she's taking to Las Vegas. Backing up to the loading dock is **such** a pain. If he wants to meet both of you, you're on your own. 😟
I couldn't do it....I even brake for them if I can...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 1, 2020:
## Oh, roof rats? Tough, lean meat best left left in the crock pot overnight. Tastes like Peter Cotton Tail.
Yulia Zubova
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 24, 2020:
## See what happens when you buy her jewelry?
Love Triangles As I have decided to maintain a friendship and rather than enter into a love ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 5, 2019:
I have had rather pleasant multiple affairs because I'm upfront about other women in the picture. They are more prone to leave when the second shift arrives. Nobody needs to get violent if everyone knows everyone. However, these days Petunia is prone to run any potential love interests away with a brom.
Ain't it the truth
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 10, 2019:
I've never been drunk enough to think I can dance without people laughing at me. ??????
And around and around we go...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 11, 2019:
That explains it.
These have one thing in common
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:
It's time to break into song, singing "Kinky" Friedman's best song *I'm an Asshole from El Paso.* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BYky67PB-4
The ORIGINAL LIBERALS were all about COMPLETE FREE SPEECH ! : Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 17, 2019:
>These people demanded free speech. Unless it was from their slaves. The sedition act was an example of restricting speech, although it was repealed.
[alternet.org] The latest approval ratings for 7 of the most vulnerable Republican senators are ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 19, 2020:
## Two thirds of the senate have to approve to remove Trump from office. So far the numbers aren't there to do it.
I ve been in USA for 24 yrs guys ( this October ), and a citizen since 2005. Although plenty ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 10, 2019:
## Run, little bunny, run! Wait second. At first I thought you said you worked at a chicken processing plant. Alright, I was just messing around with you. It appears to me ICE has a grudge against low skill workers. It's unlikely they will be coming for you by mistake.
ERUDITION. - Noun...the quality of having or showing great knowledge or learning, scholarship. ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 1, 2020:
## People confuse me with that quality. I always fail to correct them and move on.
He's gonna get it!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:
## Who is holding the camera?
It’s a picture perfect day for a drive. I saw the sunrise over the Tobacco Root mountains in ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 20, 2019:
## Happy trails. I'm heading out to pet the sheet metal kitties in Seneca.
Who wants a signed copy?
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 23, 2019:
There's an unconfirmed story that a bible signed by Donald Trump was found in the ruins of Nortre Dame's steeple.
It’s so hard to sit here at work and listen to Co-workers who think Cheeto man is/still is the man...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2020:
## Well, boo hoo. My cold black heart bleeds for you. Disclaimer: I live in a village of idiots where they all voted for Trump with no idea why. They're also a bunch of fundamentalist Southern Baptists with five liquor stores, no waiting. Hate anyone that wasn't born there. What am I doing here? Beats mountain climbing in Cantoment, Florida. Jesus, you want to talk about the south end of a horse . . . .
Interesting.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:
I'm depending on my Tom cat, Percy, to protect me.
Which fence?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 29, 2019:
Cows would be playing space music. **The horror!**
Cynically Open Minded? [youtu.be]
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 11, 2019:
One of my friends said he was a rabid agnostic. "I don't know," he say with his voice rising "**I don't wanta know!! Don't tell me!!!"**
Learn to appreciate where you are on your journey, even if its not where you had hoped you would be,...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:
My favorite season is when I'm not being either broiled alive or flash frozen. Moving to Dixie eliminated the flash frozen season.
Home is where the hearth is.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 19, 2019:
## After the 938 time the wind blew down the chimney, Petunia decided we didn't need to use the fireplace.
and flavors
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 17, 2019:
There's this approach:
Good thing Trump has nothing to hide. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Retweeted Mark Knoller: ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 4, 2019:
Inclined as in if he releases his tax returns, he'll lying down to get fucked.
I smiled. I won’t be going in.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:
## They welcome them as a pretense to tell them how bad they are.
I am enjoying this way too much.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 30, 2019:
## Mean old Jack.
I share with you the head of a Christian. Happy Valentine's day, though the man himself looks a bit ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 14, 2019:
Is that flowers in his hair?
If the Senate fails to convict and remove tRump, how will future historians write this chapter of ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 25, 2019:
## The rise of the king.
PUERILE. - Adjective...childishly silly and immature. Synonyms; infantile, juvenile, childish, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 23, 2019:
I wonder how it ties in with a popular hand sanitizer.
What`s worse than your friend going born again? I went to a birthday party on Saturday. Having ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 7, 2019:
>What`s worse than your friend going born again? Honey child, there is no end to the list of things worse than that. Waking up in a war zone is somewhere at the top of that list and the lynch mob at your door step. Discovering you've lost everything because the insurance company is denying your claim for the fighter jet crashing through your house and killing your three kids and your spouse. The list of things worse than losing your best bud goes on for **miles.** The best thing to do is step back and get some more friends. Send her post cards every three months to let her know you're still sucking air should she look around and say "This was a bad idea."
Maybe without the sweater right now because I know it's getting warmer... But oh, how much I really ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 9, 2019:
I need to tell that to Petunia while she's having a "Fetch, love monkey" moment in the recliner. Will she listen? Stay tuned Bat Fans!
I am in tears...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 24, 2019:
Twisted days and twisted nights.
Bart's Blackboard.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 6, 2019:
Bart's Blackbord #2
Not enough of this in the world today.....
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 15, 2019:
## Camera angle is everything.
Turophobia noun [tur-uh-foh-bee-uh] an irrational or disproportionate fear of cheese. As I am ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 6, 2019:
## Run! It's an attack of the feta!
Every meme has a back story.....here is one of my favorites.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 4, 2019:
Dick stracted.
NRA steps in to remind Trump of what he's supposed to think | MSNBC
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:
"His track record is one of making bold assurances, followed by pathetic retreats. There’s no reason to assume Trump will be any different now." Sounds about right.
Feeling both a bit sorry for myself yet proud of myself at the same time. Tired of not having ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 5, 2019:
My late buddy, Patrick the crazy Irishman said while he did the laundry "It's not men's work, it's not women's work: It's **dam work and it needs to be done."**
Intermission, since @phxbillcee isn't here to do them.
WonderWartHog99 comments on May 6, 2019:
Awful place to get a splinter.
I was always told that I'd "find religion" in times of crisis or chaos. I was just in the worst ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 11, 2019:
My mother used to assure me as I got older, I'd turn into a Methodist as if she was some kind of fortune teller with God on her side. Later in life, it started hitting me dear old Mom was gullible. One her friends told her if she started a charcoal fire with newspaper ads that included car tire ads, the food from her charcoal barbecue would taste like burning tires. She bought that theory, despite all evidence from the contrary. She meant well but she didn't know what she was talking about. Here I am, collecting Social Security and still waiting for the Methodism to happen.
Care to go swimming? (see comment)
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 5, 2019:
While you folks are waiting at **your** swimming hole.
what I would really like to do would be to watch Interstellar with someone who has an appreciation ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 3, 2019:
Too late. I married her. She is my trophy wife. Okay, so she's an honorable mention.
The Oranges of the Species
WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 4, 2019:
The story is he **meant** to say "originally" and kept saying "orange" instead. He can barely spell now he's going for can barely talk.
Eremozoic [eremozoic.wordpress.com] I like to post words that I have read and which make an ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 2, 2019:
## With so many lonesome stud bunnies complaining they can't meet women and the same story for lonesome women looking for guys, it sounds like an approprate name for our times.
Storm raging up! Heard on Morning Express that he claims that only 25% want him impeached. According...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Oct 10, 2019:
## Heard on Morning Express . . . . Not a news source I'm familar with. Newspaper? TV program? TV network cable channel? Web site?
Fancy bumping into YOU here.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 10, 2019:
The early Egyptians who recorded **everything in stone** didn't mention Moses. The travel time between the two countries for a backpacker is two weeks.
So, I have a last minute invitation/request for suggestions, and I thought I'd ask this esteemed ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 1, 2019:
Have you considered Savannah, GA? It's one of the great tourist stops in Dixie. It's a great place for history, art museums and good eats restaurants. Assuming your car doesn't break down, it's a half day trip. I'd recommend the Thunderbird Motel which is within two blocks of hop on, hop off tour bus companies. If the tour guide mentions something you'd like to check out, you can hop off and check it out. The next bus comes along in 15 minutes. Parking in Savannah is it's own hell, so the tour bus makes a lot of sense. The tour bus companies include a night time haunted Savannah tour as well. The Thunderbird is a retro motel where they give guests a moon pie and RC cola every morning and play 50's music in the parking lot during day light hours. It cost a fraction of what the downtown river walk motels charge. The River Walk district is party hardy central. Good eats, saucy women, great bars and too many places to buy t-shirts. While visiting the River Walk be sure to visit Wet Willie's and order the liquor fueled ice slushies. The Thunderbird is across the street from TWO city bus lines. One of the lines is free and takes visitors to historic district. If your car goes up in flames in the motel's parking lot, Greyhound is also across the street.
Here in Dixie we have a good luck tradition for New Year's day. We eat black eyed peas and collard ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 31, 2019:
For those wanting to know why the possum drop was discountinued, see: https://www.newser.com/story/285017/no-possums-will-fall-from-the-sky-tonight-in-this-town.html
Walter Reed takes a chance.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 19, 2019:
## Trump dictated a press release for them to say how youthful he is. Rumors are his blood vessels are getting so clogged he's likely to have a stint put in.
Is his IQ even that high?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 9, 2019:
One communications professor said Trump sounds what a person would expect in an age that was on the edge of speech. They haven't quite gotten the written part down, the syntax is shaky . . .
Are we witnessing the rise of the Fourth Reich? [washingtonpost.com]
WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:
I worry he will consider the 2020 election a national emergency, declare marshal law and himself as our new king once it becomes obvious he has no chance of winning.
That song is stuck there again.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:
The irony is lions, like most cats, are most active at night.
TRump is going to WAR! We have a Secret Weapon¡
WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 22, 2019:
Us fans of *Bloom County* know it well.