@WonderWartHog99 -- Hello, and welcome to the group.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 8, 2020:

## Thank you for the welcomes. There are some groups which consistently fail to alert me any posts have been made. This is one of them. I used to attend the Seneca, SC, writer's group. One was expected to bring their written work and read aloud to the members for ten minutes. Afterwards, there was a literary criticism. It was one way to kill two hours with ten people. They were suspicious of any new members because people had showed up with recording devices with apparent plans to publish another person’s work. New members also meant the meetings got longer. There was an option to join the group **after** the meeting for lunch and fellowship for **another two hours.** There I was with a 120 page opus. The math said "don't go." Has anybody encountered something like that"?

Don't forget the coconut

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 7, 2020:

## Us Mexican beer fans wouldn't have seen it coming.

UNDERWHELM.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 7, 2020:

## One never hears "Whelm me. Whelm me some more." No over or unders, you hear?

Just checking in..

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 7, 2020:

## I'm so wonderful, it's disgusting to hear the details.

today is one of them

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## Therefore be evil and resort to adverbs and adjectives, you pitiful slut puppy of the meadow muffin eating clan; you sniveling snit, you worthless twit . . . . Hey, what's a bachelor's degree in English good for? Watch this space for someone asking "What's a 'meadow muffin'?"

I actually think this is the perfect response to those jerks who blame natural disasters on gay ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## When we getting the frogs? Nobody remembers the frogs.

He's gonna get it!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## Who is holding the camera?

I did not know where to put this post so here seems the best place.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## When I was three years old, my parents took me to a deer park which was full of fawns. They were working with the premise I'd pet the fawns. Our youngest son is cute. Fawns are cute. It'll be a bonding experience. The fawns had a different premise. The fawns head butted me, knocking me on the ground. I'd get up and they'd head butt me again. Me fall down, over and over. My dad filmed it all for the next ten minutes for the family movie night. The family movie night continued until I was 15 and he was still laughing at it. It ended that night when I said, "I was getting hurt. You'd think a **responsible** parent would see his son getting the crap knocked out of him, intervene and get the toddler out of the deer pen. Not you. You kept filming." He glared at me, possibly more for using a common vularity during family movie night than anything else. After that, he took up deer hunting. Took a while for my words to soak in.

When I lived in Hickory Tavern, SC, we didn't have garbage pick up.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## I still don't have garbage pick up here in Seneca, SC but at least it's a shorter trip. One advantage to the Seneca dump is if you take your yard wastes to the dump, they grind it up into mulch. They are picky about trees as yard waste and insist all the branches are removed. They'll let their patrons take away the logs. The custom is to weigh the truck coming in and going out. Theory is they can keep records how much garbage is in the dump. Since I collect their logs to turn into fire wood, I've been weighted as less going in and more going out. Yep. That's me. Screwing up government records. There goes the Warthog, with a negative garbage balance.

The Evangelists anointed tRumpo as the second coming. Then God sent a plague.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## Will white guys have to splash blood on their front door to escape?

So pagans don’t police women’s bodies, nice to know.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## Next time I find a woman on a pile on a pile of deer skins, I'll keep it mind.

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

Cacoethes noun An irresistible urge; mania.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## I would think the urge to moo at cattle while driving through the countryside would be a good example.

Sic adverb Latin.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2020:

## It is one of those things one encounters in scholarly papers. Lamest scholarly joke ever: who et al? Don't mind me. They just delivered the Daily Punctilio on my doorstep.

Who you gonna call?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

## I know the feeling just before I start banging my head on the wall. I got one of those genius women who says things "It's where you left it." If I knew where I left it, why would I need to look for it? She's lucky I'm a patient man that resists the urge to bitch slap her.

Yep! Every day! Lol!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

## Percy, my Tom cat, would leave you alone also unless you brought kitty treats. Approach women you don't know and bring chocolate also works. Next time try "Yo! You with the twin Zeplins cleavage: I got chocolate." Warning: this approach also draws in their ugly broad buddy. With that, the angry comments cloud forms from the chocolate free ugly broad committee.

Well happy birthday to me... [youtu.be]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

## Al seems to be happy.

Some people! LMAO!!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

## Hey! I remember her.

Once again: if you are against gay marriage for any reason, you're a fucking moron.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Dam straight! Give gay spouses an equal chance to be miserable too.

Good Morning Everyone! Woke up with the intention of working today but never made it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Considering the formative array of air born diseases that could kill you and the 98% chance this one won't kill you, get out of the house already.

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

China Prepares for Possible Locust Invasion A government body is warning that China may soon ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## The French want a rain of frogs for dinner.

QUIXOTIC - Adjective.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.

Oh geez! No way! 🙄 Lol!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Cook.

I need someone to vouch for me please ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Doesn't matter. Currently I've got an Aussie who insists I'm a happy gay who digs up the dead for sexual satisfaction. It's a childish pastime of making insults without any proof the insults are true. Likewise you're dealing with a person with a emotional IQ of 12.

I wonder how much the security deposit was

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## In a simular cartoon, an anteater asks "What? You only have TWO ants?"

Not Really A Meme.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Me mock? That would be shameless. Not that I've got any shame.

Umm.....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.

Eric has foiled again

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## How did he haul the anvil into the room?

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Anywhere near a campground with shade?

A little wake-up humor this morning. [youtube.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Good for a giggle, especially for those who follow India's politics.

Lucky guess

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## QED why police often seize a suspect's computer.

When they tell me I should believe in their delusions "just in case..."

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Lovely.

Good Morning whoops Good Afternoon Everyone! Fell asleep early after my Freethinker/Edutainment ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Petunia left the kitchen in disarray after making a pasta dish Sunday. It had deboned chicken thighs, artichoke, spinach , a pound of cheese, sour cream, lots of butter and a shorter than normal type of elbow macaroni. She made enough for a family of five. Master plan: send the left overs to her father. Now we have left overs from the left overs. Roy doesn't want a large serving of food he didn't eat as a child. We need to stop people walking by and threaten them with our left overs. Hey strangers, you people need a cassarole?

Finally, my own parking space.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## It's got larger wheels than my BBQ smoker. It must be how they pushed it all the way to the parking lot. I sense a plan coming together . . . .

Information i hope you never use

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

## Take this raccoon and shove it!

[aol.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

## One reason for Trump's victory in 2016 was he offered voters a major change from the status quo. Voters want to leave the staus quo. Biden doesn't offer that; Bernie does. In the meantime, I'm abandoning hope for Mayor Pete.

There are very few things better than smoking a joint, in the bathtub, listening to good music, on a...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

## Waking up to young, shapely naked women with lust and making pancakes and coffee on their minds beats that. Ohh... Pancakes.

Today's cheese ... 🧀🧀🧀🧀

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 29, 2020:

## Hey! Where do I get one of *those* corndogs?

Can't pass up a good deal...right?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 29, 2020:

## Transatlantic cruises await!

Saving money

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 29, 2020:

## **Beware of wide turns.**

Talk fast, really fast

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 29, 2020:

## Petunia knows what a fortnight is as well as a what a brothel is. Cities in Spain and brands of beer, I'm not too sure. She avoids beer for pina colads.

So.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## The current spouse keeps buying me (because I do the cooking) kitchen tools that don't fit in drawers. Six spatulas, no waiting. The long handled kitchen tools I keep in large open mouth jars. BTW if you drink enough wine you will lose the wine opener. Get a spare.

This will also be detrimental for celebrities, pornstars, Instagram models, and the whole plastic ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## Meh. One of the mostly overlooked aspect of breast enlargement is the upkeep. They have to replace the implants in Betty Big Boobs every few years. Nobody ever talks about wear and tear on those things. On the long haul, I don't see any serious problems.

Hi, I am looking for advice.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## Your best bet is get a degree in English. The most common employment test for proof readers is to correct a document loaded with homophones and homographs. Don't know what homophones and homographs are? You need a degree in English. While you're enrolled and getting drilled in excruciatingly painful correct grammar, take careful notice that 95% of your class are women. While enrolled, I found smoking hot single young co-eds that needed a study buddy. On the whole, those women tend to think they're going to have an easy middle class life as an English teacher in public school. Once they get that job, most of them discover how terribly wrong they were. They last for a few years, or one case a day, and moan "I got to get myself another job." Disclaimer: dirty old man with a bachelor's degree in English, class of '03. At the time, I showed off the University of West Florida campus to a romantic interest that kept wondering why all these women kept rushing up to us, telling her what a great guy I was. That was because I shared my typed classroom notes with them. I'm only mentioning this because I've was a newspaper editor prior to going back to school for a degree in English. Us professional journals can take detailed notes to share with classmates.

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## If you bought asparagus, do you have the highly speciallized asparagus pot? I went decades hunting one of those things down. Last year Petunia got me a spiral jalapeño knife and jalapeño oven roasting stand. Seriously worthless tools. She thought it would help me make jalapeño poppers, allowing me to burn my own mouth. She can't stand jalapeños. Most wonderful high specialized, rarely used, kitchen tool has been the pineapple coring tool. It perfectly removes spiral cuts of pineapple, leaving the rine untouched.

Trump Turns to Pence to Calm Fears Over Coronavirus President Trump addressed the nation from ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

> immediately called for a complete ban of all Mexican beer imports, ## It is a remarkably stupid response. Are you sure about that?

Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.

MOLLIFY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I frequently feel attempts to mollify Petunia when she comes home from work are futile. After dealing with fustrating and senile clients she needs **someone** to scream at that won't bitch slap her. An inhumane response to her tizzy fits is powerful. She's a stress carrier.

Candaulism A sexual paraphilia, where by sexual arousal is achieved by exposing ones partner's ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## One does wonder about the spouses of Lydia the tattooed lady. (Groucho Marx fans can start singing now.)

I like this one.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## It's Yiddish. One source says "noodge or nudzh or nudge "noun: One who pesters and annoys with persistent complaining. ETYMOLOGY: From Yiddish nudyen (to pester, bore), from Polish nudzic. The word developed a variant spelling 'nudge' under the influence of the English word 'nudge'. A cousin of this word is nudnik (a boring pest).Nov 23, 2010 A.Word.A.Day --noodge - Wordsmith.org

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday! I'm finally getting out of the house today.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## Ask for a local pain killer. If they ignore your request, scream loudly with each and every time they remove one until their ears bleed.

YO! ADMIN!!! Why was my post deleted?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## They took one look at your profile and said "Arg. It's a Yankee dog. Needs to be reported just because of that." As the 900th report reached the bozo in charge, rather than check it out your post was removed. You want a free press? Buy one.

Glad you all are here with me

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## Stolen, printed out and sent to a gal who does screen prints for t-shirts.

I'm in Fort Myers, Florida for a couple of days and this comic couldn't be more spot on.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## I advise fundamentalist that when the rapture comes, I'll have to take care of their cat. Be nice to me. You'd think they'd take that advice, but **noooo.**

Family dinners are such a bore...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## "Good food. Good friends. Good God, let's eat" will do 'ya. Petunia's relatives drag grace on until the food gets cold. [Insert your favorate vularity here] Southern Baptists picking a bad time to get self-rightous on me.

How did you get your inspiration?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## If you did something criminal, don't talk about it. Never tell where you hid the body. If asked, stare off in space and ignore them. I've attended too many murder trials and was paid to write it up for the local newspaper.

LEERY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## Then there's Tim Leery's brother, blearly Leery.

Laughing in the face of adversity . . . i hope

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:

## How do you get that jug off the roof? Asking for someone I would rather see kill himself trying to haul it away.

@FrayedBear >Perhaps your parks only have skunks, squirrels, cougars and bears is why they are cheap...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:

## Oh, fudge. I promised pictures of Mount Pisguh and the campground. Not pictured, the camp's fire ring and grill which are also provided by the campground as well as the picnic table and bear box.

LEFTISTS ARE NOT HERE TO ARGUE WITH NON-LEFTISTS. THEY WILL BE BANNED FROM THE GROUP!!!!!!!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:

## Hecky durn. I'm a monarchist. You people shouldn't have the right to vote.

Good Morning Everyone! Up normal time today - had to do an inventory of my car and house where ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:

## Here it's suppose to get up to 70F, possibly freezing tonight. It's been a strange, wet winter.

KATTEGAT.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:

## Many an oil rig is there.

Made it out for Beer and Rolly Derby last Saturday night.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2020:

## A meme that features a dog and a cow. Oh, yea, the matching women ready to go at it at on skating rink. Sounds like a good excuse for binge drinking.

Here goes..

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 25, 2020:

## Love the last one.

Door Cat.......... 🐱

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## It reminds me of a French tradition of putting painted plywood cut outs of animals next to the house or barn. The idea was to confuse the causal bypasser into thinking they had animals. Today in America one sees the plywood cut out of the leaning cowboy in rural areas. We'un's got a farm hand, we do.

HERMETIC.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## No hermits required.

I'm having second thoughts about this blind date.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## Ohhh...a shiny person. I like shiny people. I'm too easily impressed.

Ooops! Didn’t mean to do that

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## I'm feeling that way once some sad sack starts moaning "I don't have any friends." Yea. There might be a reason and I don't want to know.

Gullywasher noun Chiefly Midland and Western U.S. A usually short, heavy rainstorm.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## The synonym for gullywasher in Dixie include "frog strangler" and "good day for ducks." I've owned ducks. They don't like rain.

When you get an update email from Facebook....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## Assholes are the most part of the body. When fecal matter can't get out, the body dies. Shit matters.

So in this election we have the Putin/Trump party running against the DNC.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 23, 2020:

## Should it happen, I would expect more Democratic congress men/women/don't tell me, to domnate congress.

Nothing out of the ordinary here..

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 22, 2020:

Do people get off the bus when he gets on?

In saratoga springs hospital emergency room this am. Fell and went boom on ice. Oh my head

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 22, 2020:

## It took me a second to realize it wasn't Saratoga Springs, Florida. Hope you didn't leave a trail of blood behind you on route to the hospital.

Good Fun and the wrap up in the last few minutes is especially fun. [youtube.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

## I will take the mega death hot sauce, ice cream on the side.

How many days will Roger Stone spend in jail?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

>The president should not be allowed to be above the law. Presidential pardons are part of the law.

How many days will Roger Stone spend in jail?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

## He could wind up serving house arrest. He could stay home and order home delivery from Tarts'r'Us.

Bombs away right?...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

## Male virgins, maybe.

The republican criminals staged a coup.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

## The day of the last judgement has long since passed.

Will they taste like the wrapper says.🤣

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

## Sanitized for your protection.

How Christians look to me...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

## What's with the over kill eye shadow?

MSNBC is left biased news they don't show the whole context it's all taken out of context.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 21, 2020:

This isn't MSNBC. It is Tipping Point, a far right wing news outlet on OAN. OAN has been around since March 2013. OAN is known for its pro-Trump content, promotion of conspiracy theories, and criticisms of the mainstream media. Predictably this video argues women shouldn't be represented in board rooms in California because there aren't enough qualified women for the jobs. Hey, I bet Liz has got some great legs. What 'ya say?

Had an anonymous dialogue one the bathroom wall at work 🤣

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 20, 2020:

## "Know one will ever be jesus." Sounds like a college thesis to me. 👌🤣

now trmp in normalizi crruption Sorr adio isn't working in FB on my end, still works fine on saved ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 20, 2020:

>now trmp in normalizi crruption It's now time for both us to buy a new keyboard.

Ok - not really a meme, but.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2020:

## From the sourse: *"How dare they try to educate us with science!" exclaimed Pastor Gregory Frontbottom. *

Does anyone remember OREGON?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2020:

## Stolen and sent to three former school marms.

Overdoing it?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2020:

## For honorable mention, I'd do the same except for grabbing the presenter by the butt checks and French kissing her. You get **that** big a jug of sparkling wine for 3rd place?

Don't you just love the sort of day we've just had here?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2020:

## One of my favorite places to go camping and hiking is the Smoky Mountain National Forest. It is a rain forest and most visited park in the states. Annual rain fall ranges from 65 to 85 inches a year. The heaviest rain falls near the peaks and the lightest in the valleys. For a fun time, make the short half mile hike on a **steep** paved trail to the summit of Clingman's Dome, the second highest peak in the park. Once at the summit, there's an additional tower to ascend where you can admire approaching thunderstorms. If you stay for the rain, remember lighting always strikes the highest object and you will be it. For most of the 12 million who visit the park annually discovering they're in a rain forest is a big shock. Rain? You want to talk rain? Let me tell you about hurricanes . . . . .

Takes his lead from him

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 19, 2020:

## In contrast Trump stays seated inside the car behind bullet proof windows because race car fans are good at shooting moving objects.

This is you, isn't it? 😜

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 17, 2020:

## Huh? What did you say? I heard mumbling.

Here's an example of serious scamming on dating sites.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 17, 2020:

## Includes fake photos of hot Palenstine babes looking for Israili solders with smart phones. What could go wrong?

Some of us would do great at this! Lol!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 16, 2020:

## It would require someone with a degree in library science to do a good job.

Peggy isn't a sloucher

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 16, 2020:

## In that case, I'm a spectacular whore. The mail truck had to back up to the door.

T-Shirt of the day

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 16, 2020:

## My latest novelity T says "Drinks well with others."

Sounds about right to me.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 16, 2020:

## I've yet to have mashed potatoes served with chips, lime juice and cilantro nor guacamole with butter and milk.

Oh, crap! That moment when you realize your voice was raspy yesterday and this morning the throat ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 16, 2020:

## We'll always have the cowboy cure. Go to bed with a bottle of rock and rye. Hang your hat on the bed post. When you see two hats, stop. Rock and rye is a mixture of rock candy and rye whiskey.

To the cute ass that drives me crazy! (When you are poor but has a sensible side) ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 15, 2020:

## Shall we break out in song: "I love big asses. I can not lie"?

Good plan!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 15, 2020:

## Said no doctor ever.

They say there is plenty of fish in the sea, but when you go to sea, you also have to deal with ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 15, 2020:

## Shark is good eats as well as jelly fish salads and shellfish like lobster, shrimp and oysters. Starfish is worthless.

I’m planning a big Valentine’s day!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 14, 2020:

Petunia had two Valentine's Day dinners. The first one was on the 13th of Feburary; the second on Valentine's Day.