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Twisted Poe
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 13, 2019:
## Sounds a well wacked poetic license. ðŸ˜ŧðŸ˜đðŸ˜ļ😚
Nothing gets your heart pumping like having to deal with a rattlesnake. My were going crazy so I ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 13, 2019:
## Forget shooting the snake. It's narrow (making it hard to hit) and it'll move unpredictably, making it even harder to hit. Now for functional advice: use a hoe. (Keep your mind out of the gutter, dude). A long handle hoe. You'll be out of striking range when you cut it half. BTW, taste like crab but it has so many bones it isn't worth the effort.
So i dissed some jackass on facebook about an hour ago, and i keep check back to see if he's replied...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 13, 2019:
## I keep reminding myself to keep my acid tongue resting. People get annoyed when the conversation is solely swapping insults.
Living in a partnership that isn’t normal AND THAT WORKS? Does anyone have some examples? For ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 13, 2019:
## I've often told tales of what I did with a series of women who were so enamored of my cooking that they rewarded me with sleep overs and a few that brought their single female friends. A good time was had by all for many decades. Now I'm married and a retired slut. Petunia runs them off with a broom and takes me to covered dish events. Frequently the dish comes back empty with Petunia announcing "99 made that."
Maybe I’m passing up a great guy, but his Match pseudonym is “CreamDelight.” Just...nooooo.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 13, 2019:
## Sounds like he wants everyone to know he's not of the chocolate persuasion.
This will be funny one day... So I posted last week about an abortive fishing trip to Finmark in ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Karma bitting your ass, gnawing with relish and vigor.
Sapiophile--someone who is attracted to intelligent people
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Don't admit to being one. Anti-intellectualism runs strong in this country.
The t-shirt intelligent fun.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## She'll want to know the square root of negative one. Show your work.
In case you are concerned and don't enjoy the story, I'm fine my car is fine 🙂 A story apropos...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Ohh..Cookies good enough for me -- C. Monster, Sesame Street.
If it had his picture on it I'd buy it!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Print it out. Frame it. Hang it on your wall.
Hail Odin.....
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Had an ice gaint over for supper just last night. He passed on the chili.
Bad Barbie! Bad!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## One does not have a daughter until one has naked, headless Barbie dolls often located where the lawn mower can shred them.
Something to think about...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Get 'em to for beastility instead.
The logical next step...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## The untold story.
Please join the new group &letsunite that i created per the requests of many who wanted more details...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## Request denied. Petunia says I'm a "mean old man."
Don't you hate it when they whine and cry?...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## It gets rough going when they tell me the bible isn't proof.
Republican solution: Kill higher ed! [friendlyatheist.patheos.com]
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 12, 2019:
## I used to work at a ultra conservative publication that believed all public education should be abandoned. Let the poor pay for their own children's education.
Thankfully, it's camouflage
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## It's something I'd wear to the Seneca, South Carolina, Super Walmart. In this town people who don't hunt wear camo to imply they have a concealed carry weapon.
Best idea ever!!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## Somewhere in the most worthless town on the planet, the locals are assuming a Wonder Warthog is trying to kill them, naming a vaccine in his own name.
This really should trip off my tongue more considering my aptitude...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## There are many spin off from this word. "An English word starting with a kak sound suggests something bad or unpleasant, by analogy with words such as cacography for bad handwriting and cacophony for a horrible discordant noise. . . . . It’s from the Satires of the Roman author Juvenal: “Tenet insanabile multos scribendi cacoethes”; in English, “many suffer from the incurable disease of writing”. Aspiring wordsmiths should note that an uncontrollable urge to write doesn’t necessarily lead to anything worth reading. Macdonnel also listed the vastly less common cacoethes loquendi, a compulsive desire to speak, where the second word derives from Latin loqui, to speak (also the source of loquacious); and cacoethes carpendi, where carpendi is from Latin carpere, to pick, pluck or seize. He defined this as a rage for collecting, but more usually it has been an irresistible desire to criticize or find fault." Source: http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-cac3.htm
. I didn't know. I'll have to try it now.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## I'm content with visiting free porno sites for naked people acting shamelessly.
fremdschämen German; to be ashamed for somebody else who is behaving in an embarrassing way ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
Narragansett (n) Cherokee -- family. Well, as long as we'un's are speaking German. . . . Skunk from the Cherokee: originally spelled squuncke. The creature's English name is taken from the one the given it by the Massachusett tribe. Their word, in turn, derived from an Algonquian one whose parts translate as "urinate" and "fox" or "fox-like animal." (Algonquian is a family of Native American languages spoken by peoples from Labrador to Carolina and westward into the Great Plains.)
It tells us something
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## I was born in the year of the ox, thus defining my earthy odor.
Open ended question for y'all...How do you cope if and when you feel like you'll never meet someone ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## Save for travel fare, possibly a vacation or the three day weekend. See if he does the same.
I shall smite thee, moo!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## Have a cow, mon.
Sure I will!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## After the third week of working as a bikini inspector, it's not that much fun.
Applied for a full time sales rep job this morning. They sent me a complete package to review. ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 11, 2019:
## Dan is in good spirits. Irish whiskey?
I turned 65 today, and this is how I feel this morning
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 10, 2019:
## Enjoy your cake ðŸĨŪ🎂
memeoftheday
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 10, 2019:
## Bare knuckle brawling in the high rent district.
Everyone's favorite huckster, Anti-Fred, is back. How long do you think he will last this time? ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 10, 2019:
## My entire bio is "It's me." We all know what chaos I've left in my wake. He didn't write a bio? Give 'em hell Anti-Fred. You couldn't find a more deserving group.
What is the best kind of pie or dessert? I am partial to blueberry pie the kind grandma made for me ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 10, 2019:
Baklava which drives my blood sugar levels into the "You gonna die, sucker!" range. It is a case of Greek deserts are to die for.
Everything old is new again.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 10, 2019:
## Sharp dressed sea going doorman. There's something about a sharp dressed man.
One set of... [youtu.be]
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Ride him Jesus.
[cbs6albany.com] Protestors call for county officials to stop collaborating with ICE. This is how...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Nobody brought folding chairs?
Sometimes you just have to! Lol!!!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Look. Someone threw away a perfectly good white guy.😝😜ðŸĪŠ
atheism science
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## If they read the bible cover to cover and understood it, they would become an atheist.
Protesting ICE yesterday in Troy, NY. Have another one at end of week! This is Never Again! There ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Moterists driving by are unlikely to read those signs.
Gynotikolobomassophile: (n.) a person who likes to nibble a woman’s earlobe. Could it of just been...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## One way to get a good taste of ear wax.
Question for the “culturally but not religiously Jewish” folks here: What does that mean in ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## I'm not even culturally Jewish. I'm here to find a decent nearby deli. It's become difficult where I live (Seneca, South Carolina) to even find pumpernickel or a loaf of rye bread. The matza ball soup mixes have vanished off the shelves.
Sharpies ... 😆
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## The Trump organization is selling the sharpies for $15. The only thing special about them (outside of the price) is they have the Donald's name on them and their power to stop hurricanes.
Remember when this used to be hard?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Teachers often would clog up their lungs with chalk dust and get workman's comp.
How about we put trumps face on the penny? Why? Because even if you have a bunch, they are near ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
> I read somewhere that . . . . Yea, I read Horton hears a Who too! 😝😜ðŸĪŠ To be a more accurate about it: "The cost to produce the one-cent coin increased to 1.5 cents during 2016, the Wall Street Journal reported. In 2015, the penny cost 1.43 cents to make, while in 2014, its production value was 1.66 cents" Source: http://money.com/money/4618271/penny-cost-make-worth/
Bone spurs? Was it the only bone he ever got?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Why he stands up to weathermen when he doesn't know which way the hurricane winds are blowing.
I could have gone my whole life without learning this, but since I have, I’ll pass that knowledge ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## Don't eat the egg salad in Dongyang, China.
I always warn them! Lol!!!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 9, 2019:
## I may have dated a couple of your family members.
Truth be told
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
## Why "Uncle" Erine, it's not the truth.
Truth be told
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
Snopes says it's a fake, forged transcript. (Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-report-card-fordham/ *"This report card was frequently shared along with jokes mocking Trump for his alleged failing of statistics, near failing of English, and his overall 1.28 GPA. This report card image, however, is a fake. *"One giveaway is the listed address for Donald Trump. While 85-15 Wareham Place is indeed the address of Trump’s childhood home, he only lived at this location for the first four years of his life. In other words, this was not his address when he attended Fordham University in 1964.
I am not so sure. It depends upon the relationship. All relationships have ups and downs. But I ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
## Live dangerously and let 'em jump your bones before their shiny wears off. Everybody is going to change anyway. Have some good times while you got the chance. After that, join me at the campfire and we'll swap tales of wild lusty romances. Try not to sound too bitter or we'll all sympathize with the ex. Welcome to one of my **most** unpopular views. The prissy have been following me for a long time and snarling furiously.
Ducks in church.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
## Demand pumpernickel! Lightly toasted with a smear of butter.
BODY COUNT How many people are dead as a result of Trump policy?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
## Countless thousands. I'd tell you but I can't count that high.
1. 1938 Dymaxion 2.This is a 1941 Packard 90 Open Top 8 door Tour Bus
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
## Pity the Dymaxion never went into mass production, tail fins and all.
Doesn't have to be a gay thing! 🙄😁
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
## Later, tales of the big gulp.
I put our first seeds in the greenhouse today spinach artichokes cauliflower and some black ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 8, 2019:
>My was the photographer. ## One of three "my"? ðŸĪĢðŸĪĢ I haven't tasted a black tomato before. I have grown heirloom tomatoes before. My favorite was the Cherokee red. Heirloom tomatoes have always tasted better than the cardboard tasting supermarket. The problem has always been they're less productive and more disease prone than more commonly grown the hybred tomatoes. That's why you can't buy heirloom tomatoes in the supermarket -- hybred tomatoes are more profitable. Commerical farmers are more likely to lose money on heirloom, if they make any money on them at all. Therefore the proverb "Two things money can't buy: true love and home grown tomatoes." 🍅🍅✌ïļâœŒïļ
They aim to please. [metro.co.uk]
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 7, 2019:
## Things I learn in here.ðŸ˜ąðŸ˜ą
Being up something I heard on a local radio station this week. While I do have cats I do not have ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 7, 2019:
## I'm with her. If I was him, I'd show her the guest bedroom. There's no commandment written in stone you got to sleep with the person you live and have sex with. Sex is one thing. Sleep is personal.
Fishing... day 1 and... Flight from Heathrow to Oslo was delayed yesterday morning so I missed ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 7, 2019:
## Live and learn. It's why I'm fond of shipping my luggage ahead of my arrival and fear the phrase "connecting flight." Three connecting flights and your luggage goes to Bombay.
When she dresses to impress....
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 7, 2019:
## The stud puppy has arrived.
Not so sharpie
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Snort. Giggle.
On the Road with Trump's Rally Diehards
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
"She keeps going because she trusts only the president to deliver her the news. “How else would I know what’s going on?” she said." Watch the news. Watching or reading the news is too much for them. Give the opertunity, most people would rather watch a mindless game show, ie *Wheel of Fortune* than follow the news.
just answer with the name, for me Jack Daniels at 17.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Hangovers are avoidance therapy. The ultra serious alcoholics get nauous, throw up but that's not enough to get into the "almost died" group.
Grandma liked bad boys.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## I try not to believe that's not a common belief. This group isn't helping me from denying it.
So, I've had a very interesting morning. I'm sitting on the couch, watching the weather, doing the ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Most exciting thing I had going on today was the transformer in the back yard exploded. (It's almost an yearly event). It's so common the power company got the electricity back on in 15 minutes. You took a shower while the building was on fire? Dude, I'd rather stink than get burned alive.
There's fire. There's thunder. Once a year, the electrical transformer on the power pole behind my ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
We have enough camping gear to live comfortably without electricity but we got this habit of depending on electricity when it isn't around.
Read my new column, I Warned You Back In 2016, Didn't I?" in Issues & Alibis magazine: ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Scroll back to 2016 and read my reply.
Who said, "Some people will like you & some will hate you, & the majority will be indifferent"?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## My favorite fellow: Mr. Anon. He's busy, busy, busy.
Relatable...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## It brings a tear to my eye how short the life span is for a heated, padded toilet seat is. That and getting down on the bathroom floor to bolt those things down for the third time. It is one of the few times it is appropriate to say "shitt...."
You can reason but it goes over their heads, as does subtle humour. Sometimes you have to spell it ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Just another excuse to use a common vulgarity.
GANCH. - Noun...a foolish, awkward or clumsy person; one who is incoherent or garrulous. This word ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## It's a word used when discussing misplaced oral sex. "Ganch: The stretch of skin between the anus and the testicles. See also 'chode' or 'grendela' --https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ganch Now aren't you ashamed you brought it up?
mumpsimus noun adherence to or persistence in an erroneous use of language, memorization, ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Word of the week group strikes!
The untold story.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
Reminds me of the ant eater on the ark: "What? You only brought two ants?"
The further adventures of our stable genius...aka "Meteorologist-in-Chief"
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 6, 2019:
## Donald knows weather. Now if he could figure out how to close an umbrella.
What to do with your last moments on earth:?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
>What to do with your last moments on earth:? Over charge my credit cards.
Well that's rude!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## Stolen because Petunia likes to hear dirty jokes on the weekend.
Smile.... Friday's coming! :)
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## I love the first meme. Think it would work?
Former Trump supporter tells “Moscow Mitch” McConnell, “If you don’t like this nickname, do ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## Consider Mitch also fights gun legislation, he could be called Mass Murder Mitch.
Good morning. I don't know why it would surprise me that one of the top news stories this morning ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
>Could anyone kindly explain it to me. That could be an epic book. I see it as an excuse to watch America's largest athletes get brain damaged. Demolition derby for big guys in tight uniforms patting each other's butts. Why women's wrestling isn't more popular instead baffles me.
He's at it again. Listening to morning express. Trump is lifting laws on light bulbs. Gwb put some ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## Europeans buy the old style bulbs as "heating devices" because that's where most of the energy goes instead of making light. Somebody is using their E-Z Bake Oven.
The terrible graphed truth.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
I like the one that says "What tips mean."
Remember these type ads?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## When I was a teen and buggy whips were a thing, I see these types of ads broadcast on late night TV with the question of "do you know where your teenager is tonight?" Instead of being out living the wild life, I'd be sitting there watching TV and feeling shamed I wasn't worrying my parents instead. 😖ðŸ˜Ŧ🕚
FANDANGO. - Noun...1) a lively Spanish dance for two, usually accompanied by castanets or ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## My home town, Pensacola, FL, is also called the city of five flags. It's because they've have five different countries rule the city. In their annual celebration they look for people who can dance the wild fandango. They never find them. 😕🙁â˜đïļðŸ˜Ģ😖ðŸ˜Ŧ As a result, I keep promising potential female traveling companions "Come away with me and we'll dance the wild fandango." That's never worked either.
It all makes sense now.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## I have grown to hate food containers sans lids.
Yes, but does she do windows, too?
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## It appears the grass has already been cut. My lawn mower doesn't stay shiny and clean once it has been used to cut grass. What is this, a lawn mower ad? Here the first sign of spring is shapely young woman on a ridding lawn mower. While she's jiggling all the way in her bikini, the stud muffins start wondering if they should offer to take her to Myrtle Beach. It's the nearest party, party beach in my area. I prefer secluded beaches on the California coast line to watch the sunset. It's more romantic.
I don't want to try those new flavors.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 5, 2019:
## It could be the name of the corporate name of family. In Germany, it's common to have the last name of Butt. Petunia's mother's maiden name was Betty Butts. Petunia claims Betty got married just for a name change. As unlikely as it sounds, once a year I go to Butts family reunion.
Ok.. we’ve had discussions on this thread about dating site profiles that go beyond what might be ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## . . . and be a shining beacon in a land of hopeless ninnies.
Community Senate The literal meaning of the word "senate" is Assembly of Elders. Welcome ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
>Bias, judgment, ignorance, self-righteousness, sexism, racism ## That's my boys! Granted you'll have that in any diverse group. Everybody wants other people to agree with them, which is why it's not uncommon to find the thread you've been followed has been deleted. Sometimes I get deleted from groups for amazingly stupid reasons or for no reason at all. It's Thursday, let's show the Warthog the door. It's social media. Don't take it seriously. I'm just here for fun. I remember Frank Zappa was critiqued for writing sexist songs. Frank said "Let 'em write their own songs." Sounds right to me.
Good News! The Adult Adventure is On!!!😈😈😈
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## You mean we get to discuss high risk investment plans, like penny stocks?
This isn't a meme but sadly its real . . . I mean WTF . . . A 10 minute photoshop lesson would ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Ya! Let's question the weather service where Alabama is.
First picture of the earth from space.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## We all live on the back of a turtle?
I get it!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## In dog years, I'm dead. ☠ïļâ˜ ïļðŸķðŸķ
The day’s arrived: pack is packed; flies are tied; hut is booked and I’m off to the mountains to...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Fish sauce at the ready!
Keeping it positive.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## That's a rather idealistic list.
Why we can't have nice things
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## On American speedometers, there are both kilometers **and** miles. They can't look at the dial without figuring out which is shorter.
Well...I...um...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Goofy is a dog. He owns a dog named Pluto. Dogs owning dogs? That's just wrong.
Good morning Girls and Boys!!!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Nuk, nuk, nuk.
Just another day!!!
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Lights are on. Nobody home.
They're lying.
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Only nine billion Scoville units.
Hard to argue
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## If I had a child, it'd be working in the fields.
Ballmer peak. Get drunk and write better code! Heard about this on the radio. ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Best excuse for a three martini ever!
Good morning from Amsterdam! And now we wait ...
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## Okay. What's the wait all about? For the check to arrive?
Nature is beautiful
WonderWartHog99 comments on Sep 4, 2019:
## The future of leather.

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Him and his ilk are my summer companions.
Atheist
Here for community
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