WonderWartHog99's Profile

Life comparison.

BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:

My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." 🤣😂🤣😂

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@AtheistInNC Bathroom graffiti may vary from stall to stall. No copyright laws. The classic for me is: Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to shit, only farted.

Trump goes to India.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

I believe if the Indian people know what an anti-Muslim bigot he is, then yes.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@zeuser What used to get to me is India is one of the world's greatest powers but 90% of US citizens couldn't tell you the name of their prime minister on a dare.

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

whiskywoman comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love seed catalogues

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@whiskywoman I used to go to Superseed.com for the best varieties of seeds. I forget the name of the company and the web site is down. They had CHEAP packets of seeds but they might only have 20 seeds to the packet. When I wasn't sure WHAT plants I could grow, I'd order from them. It's been such a long time since I ordered from them, I forgot the name of the company.

TAUTOLOGY.

LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 I must have nodded off on that part of debate class. I remember objecting to your God argument by saying "If God is perfect, He makes perfect things. Therefore, the world is perfect. Might be a flaw there. Now let's go back to square one: there's a God?"

I actually think this is the perfect response to those jerks who blame natural disasters on gay ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## When we getting the frogs? Nobody remembers the frogs.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@OldMetalHead Although a favorite snack in Old Mexico, one never sees roasted and chili seasoned crickets in the US/Mexican restaurants.

TAUTOLOGY.

Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:

The swine Drump is an orange pig..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@itsmedammit I bow to your superior logic.

Trump goes to India.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

I believe if the Indian people know what an anti-Muslim bigot he is, then yes.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

Head of the most powerful military country in the world? How would they not know?

TAUTOLOGY.

Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:

The swine Drump is an orange pig..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@itsmedammit Don't you need more than one color to be colorful?

TAUTOLOGY.

LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 I write all my theological claims under the inspiration of three cocktails, therefore all booze leads to theological claims. Naw. That's circular reasoning. Tautology is the repetitive word choices. After three shots to the wind, I may wind up here tossing bull twinkies about.

I actually think this is the perfect response to those jerks who blame natural disasters on gay ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## When we getting the frogs? Nobody remembers the frogs.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@OldMetalHead Egypt is in Africa where the biblical plagues took place. In most countries in Africa locusts are dinner tonight. State side, we're not big on eating bugs.

TAUTOLOGY.

Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:

The swine Drump is an orange pig..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

To quote chief Rachael Ray "Winner, winner, chicken dinner."

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 Heap of scrolling isn't it?

TAUTOLOGY.

LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

That is called circular reasoning. Not a tautology.

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 Okay, let's hear YOUR examples.

When I lived in Hickory Tavern, SC, we didn't have garbage pick up.

Surfpirate comments on Mar 6, 2020:

I'm not sure if Petunia is (a) a horse that likes rides to the dump (b) a woman who likes riding around looking at horses (c) a horsefaced woman who you took to the dump (d) all of the above

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

"Because women can go all goo looking at horses, I would always invited Petunia along for our "romantic trip to the dump." >[ is Petunia] a horse that likes rides to the dump Reading is fundamental. She didn't want to go to the dump.

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@Marionville One sentence could be re-written as " . . . completely, completely lacking . . . " and still make the same amount of sense. Likewise Yogi's sentence could be written as "This all over again" or "This is deja vu." These sentences were approved by the Redundant Department of Redundancy. Yogi is an American sage. He's also famous for telling one guy how to get to his house as ". . . when you come to a fork in the road, take it." His statement is less confusing once you know the fork was to a loop road. No matter which direction chosen, you'd still get to his house. Both of my tauntology examples are from Yogi and have become known as "Yogisms." Other Yogisms include: No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. We made too many wrong mistakes. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six. You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you. To scratch your head some more see: https://ftw.usatoday.com/2019/03/the-50-greatest-yogi-berra-quotes

I see dumb people...

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Have you seen who is president?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@Rudy1962 Side effects include halitosis that could stun a moose.

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@Lilac-Jade Wild garlic chives grow in profusion here. Mowing the yard smells like soup.

Life comparison.

BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:

My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." 🤣😂🤣😂

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

Don't piss on the floor. Be a hero, piss on the ceiling.

punc·til·i·ous /ˌpəNG(k)ˈtilēəs/ adjective: showing great attention to detail or correct...

altschmerz comments on Mar 5, 2020:

How do you pronounce 💋

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

I included the punctuation guide in the original definition. For reason beyond the pale, the system put a kiss symbol in the middle of it. Slurp loudly while saying it.

But...that looks like...

SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Looks like What??????

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@AnneWimsey Teflon coated with optional vibrate mode?

SYBARITIC.

Charlene comments on Mar 5, 2020:

I'd love a sybarian machine..😈

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Have you seen their gas powered four stroke model built for four?

I see dumb people...

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Have you seen who is president?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@Rudy1962 It's brewed in the finest unwashed toilets of Mexico and sold with a wedge of lime.

I see dumb people...

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Have you seen who is president?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Have you drunk one of their beers? 🤢🤮

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@Lilac-Jade I often grow culinary herbs, learning in the process all the types of basil they have. Going to the farmer's markets, I often learn about relatively exotic vegetables that CAN grow here but the supermarkets NEVER carry.

But...that looks like...

SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Looks like What??????

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@AnneWimsey Powered by a USB plug? I might be better off not knowing.

Do you personally adhere to the whole "three dates" thing before attempting to get physical with ...

BitFlipper comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I'm interested in this *"3 dates"* thing. A third date with the same woman is extremely rare. And if they're expecting me to get physical . . . no wonder they lose interest. So if there's some standard, why do women never initiate?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Don't say "never." It's hard to forget a gal who insisted on our first date we should skip dinner and head straight to the bedroom. After that surprise dalliance, it was a SUCH a relaxed dinner. On the far extreme, I dated a woman who claimed she was asexual for three years. She was my wing woman. After directing women my way for three years, she figured it was her turn. I still have shaky theories why when women see me with another woman, it makes them want me more. If Petunia ever leaves me, I want another asexual woman for nights out on the town. Once Jean had changed her mind about her asexuality, it was "tie me down and spank me." After that, she got so horny that she decided to get two more lovers. One of them was married. The married guy dropped her off at my place with suitcases once his wife came home. I was shocked. Somebody bought her a couple of suitcases? When we'd go out on a date, she always stuffed her clothes in grocery bags. Women are too varied to make generalizations.

Three Religious Skid Marks.

Novelty comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I am butt dust... 😂

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Would that lead to butt mud during a rain storm?

Foster Feels the Bern

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

whose’s a wise doggy?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

How did he learn to make memes and type?

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

whiskywoman comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love seed catalogues

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

Seed catalog companies sell their mailing list to other seed companies. If you get one seed catalog, another will be following it especial if you buy seeds from any of them.

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

Get ye to Old Farmer's Almanac. While it contains a pound and a quarter of baloney (especially for weather forecasts), it does tell when and which plant to plant for your agriculture zone. Ignore the DAY you're suppose to plant, just look at the month to plant. With sugar snaps, it's the around the day of the last killing frost. I've seen sugar snaps come back AFTER a killing frost. I'm lucky to live near a major land grant agriculture university (Clemson University). I can get SUCH expert advice. Do they have master gardener programs where you live?

Some people! LMAO!!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

## Hey! I remember her.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Jean had a third of brain knocked out. She got out at night on a bicycle in the highway passing lane and got hit by a pick up truck doing 80 mph. I went to visit her in the nursing home for two years until it got too depressing to go. When she'd see me, she'd pull up her gown to show off her crotch, even with her mother around. Due to brain loss, she was unable to talk or eat. Sad case. Oh, I say she remembers me. Since then, I moved out of town and the nursing home closed down. I don't know where she is or if she's still alive.

Once again: if you are against gay marriage for any reason, you're a fucking moron.

JacarC comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Exactly! Especially given the number of children needing care and adoption.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

@JayOleck38 When I'd hear that crap-a-zola, I'd ask "If I wanted to turn you into a faggot boy (nobody cared if little girls turned into lesbians), what would I have to do to make your pecker get hard for other guys?" Blank stares followed.

Another deep thought

BudFrank comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Do we really want to know?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

Is Penthouse *Variations* still being published? They had memorable "letters" to the editor, stuff like dipping testicles in the gold fish bowl and worse. That's another way to kill your fish.

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

@VAL3941 Those of us with the FSM call it piracy. Gotta practice the faith.

I would like to be the first to wish everyone a happy "I Want You to be Happy Day" this is a ...

St-Sinner comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Thank you. But just feel happy? What about a six pack, dinner takeout and possibly a hoe?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

You've reminded me: I've got to paint my hoe. I left it outside all winter. I'm talking about a gardening tool, just in case your mind hasn't crawled out of the gutter yet.

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@OwlInASack She would appreciate you giving her a copy of David Sedaris' book *Me Talk Pretty One Day.* Having read the bound edition, I conclude it might be funnier in audio version. I like the part when he over heard his speech therapist say "We got **another one** who talks like that?"

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@VAL3941 In your case a swarthy smug mug. Sibilants abound in the land the freaking fricative consonants. Somewhere there's a guy hooked on phonics says "Hey! I know what he's talking about!"

QUIXOTIC - Adjective.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

Time to get out my Sparks Notes and fend off Irish chiggers. @Marionville She is a common vulgar woman who raises pigs (part 1, chapter nine). However she is envisioned by Don Quixote as his fair lady because what knight doesn't have a lady? He promptly renames her. Additionally he tells tales of her beauty and her membership into Spanish royalty. Her renamed fantasy version does not appear in the novel.

QUIXOTIC - Adjective.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@Marionville She is a character in the novel Don Quixote. The novel is so popular in my home town they named a major street after the author, Cervantes.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 I prefer to dunk my green beer bottles in an icy cold mountain stream. One must be careful lest a strong current sweep the jugs down stream, smashing them against rocks.

I need someone to vouch for me please ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Doesn't matter. Currently I've got an Aussie who insists I'm a happy gay who digs up the dead for sexual satisfaction. It's a childish pastime of making insults without any proof the insults are true. Likewise you're dealing with a person with a emotional IQ of 12.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@VAL3941 I'm just a gringo from Dixie. I'm a big fan of Zorba the Greek. See meme. "Boss, life is trouble and death is not." -- Zorba.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Clamping is for those who plan to live in a park, pulling up roots anytime the limit they can stay in the camp grounds starts to run out. Then they come right back the same day.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 After five miles into a hike, I'd assume well shaken and warm beer.

Not Really A Meme.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Me mock? That would be shameless. Not that I've got any shame.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@scurry Three years into our marriage, Petunia stopped talking about renewing our vows. I agreed I'd do that but only if we got a voodoo priest to perform the services. I want dancing women and booze next time. At our wedding they wouldn't allow us to toast each other with champagne and were shocked we used carbonated grape juice instead. Possibly nobody would show up if I had to explain a FSM priest to them.

Not true anymore, but I can definitely relate!

BudFrank comments on Mar 2, 2020:

I know the feeling

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@EyesThatSmile I bought a sign for Petunia that said "You had me at chocolate." It helps explain what she's doing with me.

Umm.....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 >I'm worse than them! If you bury your bowel movements in the garden, shed fur all over the place and beg to sleep with a married couple right outside their bedroom door -- I'll want to know more.😈😈

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 It's more practical to backpack with liquor than beer. A 5th is lighter than a case of beer.

Umm.....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Some cats can only tolerate ten seconds of petting before they'll bite you. With Percy, it depends on his mood.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 I hope he takes the plane when he visits. I used to joke when I drive long distances to campgrounds I leave a trail of beer can behind me. Got to find my way back. Doesn't work. A person needs to find a place to pee too often to be practical. 😺😸😹

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Anywhere near a campground with shade?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Thanks for the response. There are plenty of parks will let you pitch your tent off the trail as long as you obey some basic rules such as: 1) At least 50 feet away from a stream. 2) Bury human waste. 3) No open campfires. 4) Register with the rangers when and where you're entering the trail(s). I've yet to find a park where they charge a registration fee. Their major deal is if you don't come out, the rangers know where to start looking. Are you familiar with the word "boondocking" as it relates to camping?

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@FrayedBear I typed "LMAO meme" into my search engine and got about 100 examples on the first try. Evil fart that I am, I know how that "add photo" icon works.

PANJANDRUM.

FrayedBear comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Wasn't panjandrum used recently? For those who haven't read Foote's verse it is available - https://www.gutenberg.org/files/18417/18417-h/18417-h.htm

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

Your example is a children's picture book from a previous century.

Information i hope you never use

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

## Take this raccoon and shove it!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@SiouxcitySue It's up to you to shove the second raccoon. I'll watch you do it and learn from my previous mistakes. Sometimes it a takes a twisted wild life expert and I didn't get that merit badge.

Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@SiouxcitySue Mercy sakes, gal! You hang out at all the right playgrounds. 🤣

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@FrayedBear Fess up. You're just here to gather insulting memes from my files.

I think the each member on the site should be awarded at least 1.

freedom41 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

I've been on here for a little 2 years and an extra 2,000 points would be cool. It would we inch me closer to level 8.3 .

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

I've often wondered what am I doing at level 8.5? For the amount of time getting there, I could have brought in a crop and used 18 cans of car wax on the car.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose Send those people to Navy boot camp. Once they're in the Navy sing a little ditty I learned in boot camp. Sailor, sailor don't be blue. My recruiter screwed me too.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@FrayedBear Are you one of those Aussies still emotionally in the fourth grade?

NULLIFIDIAN.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@Marionville Archie Bunker was a key character in an old, popular situation comedy *All in the Family.* It was copied from an English situation comedy. Here a collection of some his more popular quips. Skip a head a bit to avoid the commercial plugs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Upe_VXCzJI Hope you can understand his thick accent.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@FrayedBear >I have no plan to go to Portugal. Contrasted with: >Re cruise to Portugal I'm going to make another necrophylliac homosexual happy Imagine my confusion.

NULLIFIDIAN.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@Marionville Without a pronunciation guide, I wouldn't know. It's hard to forget Archy Bunker calling appetizers as "Whore e a doors." I used to pronounce "Merlot" the way it's spelled, not the way it's correctly pronounced. Pissed off Petunia, who doesn't like red wine.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose In funky town, swimming is considered a white elitist sport and therefor most blacks don't swim. In navy boot camp it's required for graduation to swim. After all, the ship might sink. Swim course in boot camp is almost exclusively black. That was my joke about building swimming pools in black neighborhoods. They don't want it and therefore don't need it. Might as well build a polo field for residents living in a mobile home park.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@FrayedBear "Wooden overcoat" is not a known phrase in the states. You plan to visit Portugal to make a "necrophylliac homosexual happy"? You're whipping out those non-sequitur all over the place. She has been blissfully ignorant of mountains in Australia because I don't tell her about our conversations. What I said is she loves travel as long as she picks where we're going. I mentioned Cuba as place I want to visit but she doesn't. You appear to be hung up on ''"necrophylliac homosexuals." " . . . . & LMAO." Uh, Licking Murphy's Ass Off?" On second thought, don't tell me.

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Petter According to my father-in-law the best part of the evening is having someone tuck you in.

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Petter In that case it's 1:40 a.m. on a Sunday there while it's 7:40 p.m. Saturday here.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@FrayedBear I have no clue how Cuba and Kegel exercises are related nor what you mean by a "wooden overcoat." This morning Petunia was looking a one way transatlantic cruise to Portugal, muttering "Only $1,500." She wouldn't consider coming back to the states by way of tramp steamer. Considering how Trump is shooting ill considered comments at our allies, we might not be able to get a visa.

Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@SiouxcitySue The old dirty joke (Quick! Hide the children!) is a guy walks up to a bar tender and asks "I can't understand why that guy over there **always** gets a woman to take him to her place, sometimes within five minutes. All he does is sit at the bar, licking his forehead." Large turn off, you say? 😻🙀🤟🏽👅

Everything Posie Parker is great.

Novelty comments on Feb 28, 2020:

You know how there’s soft porn? This is soft hate. You know how soft porn is still porn? That’s how this is hate.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

Soft core porn is underwear ads. Hard core porn requires close ups of tasty bits in action.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose Those crazy white people will build municipal swimming pools in their neighborhood.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

ToolGuy comments on Feb 28, 2020:

There are a lot of valid reasons for resisting it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Beowulfsfriend I read the article. Not too sure you had

NULLIFIDIAN.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Marionville Assuming any of us can pronounce it correctly.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee