WonderWartHog99's Profile

What's the matter? "Nothing!"

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

## True story. When Petunia thinks the food is spoiled and might kill her, she offers it to me. Here. It's awful. Have some?

I’m more of a monoastrologist.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

There's always Gemini, the sign of the two faced rapscallions.

These 3 things.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

Did you hear about the woman who traded fireworks for goats? Ram bam, thank you ma'am.

Trump insulted Ohio Democrats after visiting Dayton shooting victims, and mistakenly thought one had...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

## I can see our VP saying "Look boss! D'plane! D'plane!" One should stay out of Trump's universe.

I’m not the type to put an octopus on my face, but if I were, I’d take this woman’s experience...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

Bringing a driver to a goofy golf course and playing three links away from the tee. That'll do in a wind mill.

Good Morning Everyone.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

Looks like Arches National Park. It lies north of Moab in the state of Utah. Bordered by the Colorado River in the southeast, it’s known as the site of more than 2,000 natural sandstone arches. The park's web site says "fees apply." It's part of a series of parks called the grand staircase.

Woof vs Meow

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

## "You know why you don't see more cats hitch hiking? Fur covers our tiny little thumb." -- Fat Freddy's Cat.

Feeling a bit froggy so jump...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

## Never eat anything bigger than your head -- Miss Piggy.

That song is stuck there again.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 8, 2019:

The irony is lions, like most cats, are most active at night.

Looking for someone in the Provo Utah area to redo the roof on a 27' camper trailer.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## Living under blue tarp? Where these two jack boots who didn't have any association with a place that sells camper supplies? Surely there's a place that sells campers and camper supply that will be more than willing to wildly overcharge you once you say the magic word "warranty." Roof leaks are common with trailers that have mileage on them and are often difficult to repair.

Jesus! Leave that alone...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

They went to the flea market.

Trump is on his way to Dayton and El Paso, the Mayor of El Paso says " the community has mixed ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

I hope they'll start chanting "send him back where he came from."

Who are the surreptitious members of the electoral college and how are they chosen?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## Popular vote is the way to go. However, changing the US Constitution is difficult and unlikely.

Hi! I'm curious about something.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## I'm in Seneca, South Carolina, US the jock strap of the bible belt. At our frequent arts and craft summer festivals, it's not uncommon to run across three booths where they are handing out fliers and preaching at people wandering by. A couple of months ago I went to a weekend "camp" (it was held at a hotel resort) for people who had survived strokes. Every meal started with a prayer and every discussion group included people telling us how Jezzzusss had changed/improved their life. Religion hung over that weekend like a shroud. I live in a small rural town where it's common to see "Repent" or "Jesus" on any telephone pole on a minor highway. They're not trying to make a coherent thought. When I invite the neighbor over for cocktails, it's a given she'll tell me I ought to convert before I'm consumed by the fires of hell. Prayer starts most meetings including football games and prayer around flag poles at public schools before school starts. (School employees aren't allowed to hold religious services on the grounds but students are). The only exception where they don't start the meeting with a prayer is the local monthly humanist group, one township away. I have been living here for 10 years and have yet to find any building that is used either for Jewish services or Islamic services. We do have Muslims but I don't know about the Jews. Maybe they hide better than the Muslims. I've resolved when I want to collect my fire insurance, I'm going to have to declare the house either a mosque or a synagogue. I'm leaning toward mosque.

Sadly true

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## Not that he'd lie about his racist bones.

From a new athiest page on fb....keeping it for troll purposes....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## It's how mythology works. Can't explain a rainbow? Let me tell 'ya about the flood . . . .

Feeling nice a mellow are ya?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## Oh, yea. This joint (Oconee State Park, South Carolina).

I just saw an interview on Portuguese news with a victim of the El Paso shooting, the journalist ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

My impression has been people in El Paso would rather Trump stay away. It's like the grand dragon of the KKK going to south Atlanta, Ga. Whenever I visit south Atlanta I'm a grain of salt in a sea of pepper. It's the most interacial city I've ever visited.

Who’s married to one?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## I'm married to a Southern Baptist. We never talk about religion either among ourselves or our family. I think she's hid my t-shirt from this group.

Denali National Park and Preserve. My bucket list!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

Way, way, way off my bucket list. Ultra expensive place to go backpacking which is the only serious way to appreciate the park amid a cloud of summer mosquitoes and night time freezing temperatures. Assuming the wild life doesn't kill you. Most visitors see the park from the park bus. The park bus drops off visitors (the bus is the only way for visitors to get inside the park) at designated stops if they're planning to backpack into the interior. Otherwise, it's a visit to the ranger station. I gave up backpacking two years ago. There was a point when I sat down a mile from the car in a marshy meadow and announced "You can bury me here." I'd hiked five miles in a mountain meadow, gotten lost, wandered up a mountain trail for a mile and doubled back down . . . . broke my hiking staff, was hobbling furiously trying to keep up with a younger woman and eluding the black bears who were in the fields harvesting wild blueberries. At my age, I knew if I kept up mountain backpacking I would do that again and might not come back.

Best of the Marx brothers.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

Who remembers Zeppo?

Lets list all of tRumps crimes together.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

Nepotism.

GERRYMANDER.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 7, 2019:

## Obscenely common in the states when explaining why one man, one vote isn't always the rule.

Tuna Shamed.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

## Sounds fishy.

Marilyn Monroe, 1956. Just because.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

## Where can I buy white wall tires?

Learn to appreciate where you are on your journey, even if its not where you had hoped you would be,...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

>Learn to appreciate where you are on your journey . . . . That's the hard part because I designate Petunia as the navigator while I drive. When she isn't arguing with the GPS, she claims we got lost because she looked away for a second and we struck out for some place **completely different.** It's her "It's gotta be yer fault" excuse.

Learn to appreciate where you are on your journey, even if its not where you had hoped you would be,...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

My favorite season is when I'm not being either broiled alive or flash frozen. Moving to Dixie eliminated the flash frozen season.

Why are the liberals blaming white supremacist’s for mass shootings?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

The El Paso shooter wrote a manifesto that used all the common phrases used by Trump tweets. He used better spelling and grammer than Trump. Go figure. I'd like to see what this meme would look like if the bar was raised to ten people or more, with or without a manifesto. Sadly, it isn't all that uncommon for the mass murder to be a disgruntled employee. BTW, what's a gruntled employee? The one without the gun? Absent: women, unless they're that ugly looking.

Let’s group write Pepe’s and Lolita’s story.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Are they little dingies? From the angle, I can't tell how long they are.

There's never enough time unless you're serving it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Over all Gary was a **successful** mass murder for hire. When it comes to success in criminal activities, I mean they didn't get caught. They only got him on one murder, his ex-wife and they couldn't find her corpse so he got convicted on manslaughter. While serving time on unrelated charges, he made the mistake of telling his cell mates how he clubbed her to death. They turned states evidence for early release. I wrote a story about one of his adventures that got him thrown off a Navy base in a college level creative writing class and got an "A." They thought it was fiction. Remember: you can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

[myjewishlearning.com] Try this new twist on tabbouleh.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Nice alternative to a pasta salad.

Seems appropriate these days

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

## The class motto in my segregated high school (yea, I'm that old) was "Be a man. Join the Klan." I've never been to my high school re-union. Need I explain why?

You know you were thinking it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Depressingly common. Tell me why I haven't left this country yet?

FECUND.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Sounds like cockroaches on a summer night.

Hi! This year has been a decisive year for me since I'm becoming more and more atheist as the days ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 5, 2019:

> Where was God to help me deal with my sexuality and "sinful" thoughts? Was I so "sinful" that I couldn't receive just a small sign? Because God doesn't want anything to do with you **either.** The real story is when people want to cringe just thinking about your preferred sexual activities, they invented a diety that wants them to stone you to death. After that they started rattling on about God is all about love, while their scriptures says something totally different. They're crazy. Hang around. We might inflict you with something worse: sanity.

A take off of UrsiMajors post.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 5, 2019:

Had one in the remote community of Wonderfully Wicked Downtown Weberville, Texas. You had to count the cows as part of the population because you couldn't be too sure about the people.

They don’t like that

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 5, 2019:

## Here at the two farmer's markets in Seneca, SC, all the farmers put up their certification they grow organic. They're too cheap to use K-Grow and pesticides.

Pes·ti·len·tial /ˌpestəˈlen(t)SH(ə)l/ adjective relating or tending cause infectious ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 5, 2019:

This word has too many synonyms. I often say I live dangerously but it doesn't mean I'm bringing dangerous disease to your community. I just camp with bears; swim with sharks; married into an ultra fundamentalist family.

stochastic terrorism English Pronunciation (US) IPA(key): /stəˈkæstɪk ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 5, 2019:

Wolves look for boiling water? Things I learn.

When people ask me "Why have you never gotten married?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 5, 2019:

When people ask me why I don't have children, I reply "Children? Dam. I knew I forgot something."

Do you really?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Eons a go I had to build a larger out shower for two extra naked women. Ah's **super slut**.

disturbing is that we appear to be approaching "White Christian Sharia Law"

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

Most Muslims don't agree with Sharia law. It'd be a hard sell to the Christians, especially those who want dual income when they get married.

"Never wipe; instead pat or blot the corners." Does napkin etiquette still apply in this situation?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Butt holes have corners? The things I've missed in life.

Morning Truths and Laughs Tweets from Singles that people in relationships don’t understand ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## It's all excuses. In one book, I wrote. My first serious back packing trip as an adult was in the Grover Cleveland National Forest outside of San Diego, California. I slowly lumbered up the side of Mount Kong, a foothill with ambition, one summer until I reached the summit on near the southern end of the Pacific Crest Trail. Except for the weight of an overnight backpack, it’d been an easy summer hike in the sagebrush with kites and other bug eating birds soaring along the updrafts. When I got to the top, I pitched the tent and settled into cooking with a wholly inadequate canned heat stove. The blue flame from the cupcake size can of flammable jelly can get a teacup’s worth of water boiling in an hour and a half. Luckily, I wasn’t expecting company for the meal. Nobody except me would complain if the meal was late. The day’s trail was paying off. The LBB (little brown birds) swooped down hundreds of feet to the valleys below. There was a desert landscape on one side of me, an ocean to the other. Scarlet began to light the sky as the megalopolis of San Diego began to light up street lamps far in the distance. Even further, there was the haze of the Pacific Ocean. The two lane black top that I’d departed from changed to a thread with match light size specks of car lights on traveling it. Lakes reflected the gasps of twilight. Peace settled over me. Then I started wondering why I didn’t bring a gal. Hey, cheap digs with exotic new sights to see and me without a girlfriend. Resolved: it is the inherent nature of humans to want to share or at least trade up. There I was, alone surrounded by the changing worlds of light and darkness high in a bowl of sky. I paused as the intergalactic drama of the dance of celestial beings in vast and incomprehensibly regions of the cosmos crept into the sky, dim and twinkling. Darn. I was just me and a boiling cup of water. I ought to have more interesting companions than just myself. I started thinking I needed to trade up on that experience. Maybe get somebody to share it with.

Could hitting tRump with my Louisville Slugger be considered as a hate crime, or an act of self ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Assuming you put some effort in it, it would be considered attempted murder. Reconsider using an elephant gun instead.

Why should agnostics/atheists hide this about themselves?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## When it's man against the institution, man usually loses -- Charlie Brown. When an employee does not embrase the beliefs of an organization, including the unwritten rules of which faith to endorse, they find a way to get rid of that employee. It's hard to forget one woman who got fired for insisting on wearing her pentagram pendant.

Watching former FBI and Security Specialist on MSNBC says we don't have the tools or the security to...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

The safest place one can go is a police state. They watch everybody's ass so carefully, you don't need to worry about going to the bad side of town at 3 a.m. If they get those kind of tools in America, I don't want to live here.

These have one thing in common

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

It's time to break into song, singing "Kinky" Friedman's best song *I'm an Asshole from El Paso.* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BYky67PB-4

What are your honest thoughts on astrology?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## The "forecastes" are vague enough that it can fit almost anyone. You'll never see a horoscope that's as specific as "at 4:14 today the IRT will jump the track and come looking for you, flattening you into puddle of grease."

After browsing so many pics of "sexy singles in my area", I have to wonder how many are posted by ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Back in my hometown, there was a business called Glamor Shots. Those photographers could make a hippo look like a bunny. When you met the person, you'd glancing at the photo, then them, then the photo before you said "Yea, this does look **something** like this photo."

"You can fool some of the people all of the time"

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## My slugs demand tequila and a lime wedge.

You ain’t getting the job

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Another reason to have multiple FB accounts.

Would you spend $0.39 cents per postcard to send something like this?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Post card and postage cost more than 39 cents.

Well shit....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 4, 2019:

## Know the feeling.

Tell me, what's your best argument against a Christian?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

## Prove there is a God. *Typical counter arguments* The bible sez so. Retort: bible also says there is talking animals which we know is false, therefore bible is not to be trusted. (One can ramble on about why the bible isn't to be trusted). Also ramble on about there are other books for other gods there why not believe in lots and lots of Gods as well? How was the universe created? Retort: Don't know. Don't claim to know. Who created God? God just is. Retort: we know all things have an origin therefore God must have one as well. Who created God? What is His origin? There's a God because I believe. Retort: I believe in heart of every person there is melted cheese. Believing it doesn't make it so. I talk to God. Retort: got any recordings so I can listen? If God speaks, surely others can hear it unless you make up those conversations in your head where nobody else can hear. After all when a person has **other voices in their head** we judge them as insane. Are you nuts? There comes a point when they stare at you long enough to realize staring at you is impolite and they walk away.

Gotta love this! 😂😂😜😜

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

It's so uncommon for them to throw themselves in your lap, unless you're a rock star with groupies.

So am I going to have to post about chat every night? Come chat!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

>am I going to have to post about chat every night? Yes. It's a hard boat to row.

The Bad Girls of the Solar System.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

## The third one e-mails me frequently.

Do you ever just get a feeling you're going to have a date cancelled?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

If they are vague on the details, it's going to be a no show.

Faux pas for Jesus

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

## Rotate 'em at the orgy but make one of them come first? Sounds a little gay.

Meow... meow...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 3, 2019:

I identify with Astrophe. It means a fear of being stuck on earth, according to the dictionary of obscure fears.

[alternet.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## Minor blip on the radar.

Technicality

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## I mentioned in here a few times I used to live in Florida. Some of those bright boys . . . . .

Why is this an ideal body?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## Different cultures, different ideal body types. It's difficult for me to forget one guy from the Middle East who looked at a western model and scoffed "Bones are for dogs." Disclaimer: I married a squat, short, stocky woman who could do heavy lifting until she learned the phrase "Darling, would you pick this up for me?" Petunia left a Mexican restaurant in a daze yesterday because the waiter asked me "Is this your brother?"

Hi Everyone! It's Friday! Any plans this weekend?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

We'll be at the summit of Mt. Micheal, the tallest mountain in the Eastern United States. Pause. It's a wimpy mountain. At 6,687 feet it is not **the** tallest mountain in the US. It is on a ridge running Blue Ridge Parkway, **the** most scenic highway in the US. We'll be spending a big part of the day getting moon eyed from the distant hazy blue views of the surrounding mountains and general tomfoolery. That's right: blue haze. It's why it's called the Blue Ridge Mountains. It's been hazy before the Europeans showed up because the dense hardwood forests release obscene levels of hydrocarbons. It won't be our first time there either. Last time we were there, I took a picture from the summit. **Big deal**: The weekend weather forecast for us is over 90f (over 32c) for most of the day. That's typical for summer in Dixie. Mt. Micheal forecast high: 65F(18c). We're escaping the brutal summer heat of Dixie. Add in the wind chill from at summit, it'll be like we're visiting December in Dixie. Petunia plans to pet the bears. We live dangerously.

I have avoided political comment for a few months.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

There is an unbridgeable divide between right and left, red and blue states that has become a cliché. America hasn't been so politically polarized since the civil war.

Hi Neighbor!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

BTW, we serve the peyote and hors d'oeuvres after midnight.

Smells like a meeting.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

If the meeting is for fucking, could it be that boring?

Denouement - day-nou- mahn from French- the final part of a play, movie, or narrative that brings ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

Hopefully about the time you've gotten to the bottom of the popcorn box. It reminds me of a dirty joke. This has been a warning to the prissy. **Dirty joke warning** Why do porno movies turn boring? The climax comes first. After the denouement, it's all anti-climax.

Apartment living

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## Worn by five year olds after their Uncle Warthog fed them sugar coated doughnuts washed down with Cuban espresso made by his friend, Traveling Robert. Robert has a you tube video of how he makes his espresso (he calls it Cuban coffee) but I'm not in the mood to hunt it down. Dam kids ate all my doughnuts.

[youtu.be]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## I'm telling myself I ought to ashamed of watching the whole thing.

Another dead kennedy. Rfks granddaughter died at 22. Cause of death is not known.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## Here it's 7:35 a.m. and the New York Times nine hours ago knew what killed her. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/01/us/kennedy-compound-overdose.html

New BLM Appointee Believes Founding Fathers Wanted All Public Lands to Be Sold off - EcoWatch

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 2, 2019:

## Thud. We're not at that point where the national interests require this. We have a oil surplus from ruining **private** land.

Chat anyone?