Hello fellow single friends, today I am offering an open invitation to a festival.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 1, 2019:

A mere 4,000 miles away from the Seneca, South Carolina, airport to you? It'll take me until mid-June just to tighten up the rubber band.

Jackanapes: n.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 1, 2019:

Call someone that and drool will form on the corner of their mouth. Speaking from experience. While you're up get me a grant to do the demographics on the typical reaction.

The paid dating site I'm on-rhymes with Batch-just removed 4 traits from its checklist of member ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 1, 2019:

# Arg, me bucko. Some heads are blessed. The rest are are covered with hair.

Fire in the basement

WonderWartHog99 comments on Apr 1, 2019:

I have to explain this one to my trophy wife. It was before her time. Last time I laughed this hard, I was taking a load of garbage to the dump and there was this sign: "Closed on Thanksgiving." *Alice's Restaurant* was before her time.

Today’s blog post in advance of my trip.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Course stone ground yellow grits, possibly hiking in the mountains.

[instinctmagazine.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Texas proverb: No man's life, liberty or property is safe when the Texas legislature is in session.

My son (15) rapelling down some granite near the blue ridge parkway today. Windy and chilly.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

I think you mispelled rappelling. Tapelling refers to a mid-wives dealing with a difficult delivery. You must be a proud, if not worried, poppa.

I’ve looked into the origins of Hell before.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

The story I heard (meaning I'm not citing a source) everlasting fires of hell originally wasn't about the after life. It was about people nobody wanted to bury. If you were one of those guys, your corpse would be taken to the dump. To reduce the volume of garbage, they set fire to it. Since a decent size settlement has a never seeming flow of garbage going to the dump it came with an everlasting fire. Your corpse would eventually be reduced to ash and forgotten. Off hand I can't think of anything in the Jewish faith that indicates they believe in an afterlife.

The Dementor rapture has finally arrived.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Now I have to get a drone. Got the dollar store version of that thing.

Don't think I'd want that pet.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Fuzzy Bear and I go fishing together. (Notice her snappy fisherman's vest?) Her family adopted me.

Wonder what happened here?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Explaining it would curl your toes, French your brain and warp your spine. # Hide the children!

Heads up.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

>and flying in to Aguadilla is cheap ($107 RT)! RT = round trip from South Florida? According to Cheap Tickets if I left from the nearest international airport from Greenville (GSP) and flew coach (shutter) it'd be closer to $1,600. Petunia would be screaming at me if I suggested it. Have a good trip. Take a life straw for questionable water and way too much bug repellent.

Has anyone else been unable to “like” or tag anything this morning?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

I often wonder if it's the cell phone users that have most of these types of problems.

It's difficult to raise a teenager!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

I live in small rural town with Baptist fundamentalists who insist all that wine drinking mentioned in the bible was grape juice.

Could this be true????

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

# Welcome to crock pot theory of the month club.

Word nerds unite (stole this from someone on here a while back)

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Considering the high percentage of scientists who are either agnostics or atheists, Hell ought to have AC.

"Stay Single Because It’s Better Than Being In An Almost Relationship" Yes! [thoughtcatalog.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

I can't imagine what a "If this is Thursday, it must be Janice" relationships are almost never mentioned.

The real confederate flag

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 30, 2019:

There never was a confederate flag. The rebel flag depended on which general the troops were following or which state they were from. The flag that is called confederate was flown by the most successful general the rebels had.

When historians write about the Trump presidency, they really need to include this guy’s tweets.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Three excellent examples but I doubt if in 3019 anyone will be reading them. Trump will be a three paragraph entry in a history book as our idiot president.

Brokeback Jeebus Botticelli style

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

One need to be high to get a fill up here.

To All Survivors of broken families, addiction, depression, loss, survival, grief, heartache, death,...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Followed by survivor grief and depression.

Only for the center cuts.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

I've got a little list of things I'd like you to do for bacon. We'd bog down in the details.

Slayer bashes the trump! This interview was not designed to be about politics, however, it turned ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

This is the long dead theory that if everyone has a gun, they can defeat the MILITARY weapons that the government has. Sure. Let me shoot that tank with three inches of iron armor and a canon that can blow up my house from three miles away. Now let me whip out my .410 and I'll shoot that mile high bomber out of the sky before it drops a nuke at me during a naval bombardment from 50 miles away. T'ani't going to be no problem if'n this was the 19 century.

Nice one ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

D'jazz hand man.

Are you not entertained?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Suicidal chicken?

I told you I was outdoorsy...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

When I've dropped the glass and it broke, I've had enough.

Hail his sacred and holy name....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Sweet little hell boy.

And more than many....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

That explains why any chance Petunia has, she goes piddling in the stores.

...perché sono snob!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Once grated it starts to lose flavor. The cheap stuff has wood shavings in it. Fairly good reasons. "When you open it up, it tastes like it's been in a box for six months. Know why? It's been in a box for six months." -- Jeff Smith.

What did the weird kid at your high school do?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

# True Story # In 7th grade I knew this 6'6" inch tall student who could be described with "a small amount of brain damage." He was sitting in math class when he stood up and starting moving to the door. "Me go home now," he explained. He ignored the teacher telling him class wasn't over. Other teachers in the hallway wrestled him to the office, where he repeated "Me go home now." Once left alone with the principal, the principal thought it was time to give him a good spanking. Johnny threw the guy, who looked like a line backer for Green Bay, across the room. Johnny went home. Johnny was expelled **for life.** As an adult he figured out how to drive and he stole a car. He was sent to the state penitentiary. He put a home made knife to a guard's throat and said "Me go home now." On the way out the door, the guard kept telling everyone "He's going home now. Let him go." Once Johnny reached the highway, he put out his thumb holding a **uniformed** guard with a knife to his throat and tried to hitch a ride home. Signs all down the highway both ways saying "Don't pick up hitch hikers." Twenty other guards waiting for him to drop the knife. Sun go down. Sun come up. He dropped the knife. I have no idea what has happened to Johnny since he was thrown back in the slammer and like my ex-biz partner I am proud I don't know.

If there's a hell, I'm going...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

I'm certain I'm going to . . . .

Thumper got grilled

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

I'd rather throw Bugs Bunny in the slow cooker for eight hours. Rabbit is tough, lean meat.

Good day to all! Heading out to Aurora, Colorado today for my birthday weekend.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

Trip Advisor gives the Lost Cajun Southland restaurant in Aurora the top rating followed by the Monsoon (Indian) restaurant and the Cafe Paprika (Moroccan) They like spicy food in Aurora. Make this the weekend you try fire breathing. Then go to the Mu Brewery (wide selection of craft beers) before wearing off the effects doing line dancing at the Stampede. When you wake up sore, call up 12 Mile Stables for trail rides. Petunia wouldn't do any of that. She'd hit the gift shops and burn my plastic.

THIS! So true and once a woman truly realizes this, they will not settle for anything less.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

What if both of them are worthless scum?

XENOPHOBIA.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

There's also xenophilia; the affection for foreign objects or people. I used to define that as "anything is better than my country."

XENOPHOBIA.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

It explains our immigration quotas.

Well shoot!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

**Good time** is vague. Take tour of Chattanooga, Tn, or Homosassa Springs Wildlife State Park, Fl, is on my potential agenda to satisfy Petunia's wanderlust this spring. Should I pet the sea cows or see Rock City? Decisions, decisions. Stay home and spank my monkey? Naw. That's for desperate states of high unholy horniness.

Ain't that something

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 28, 2019:

She had a moustache **and** a unibrow. Of course, marrying the king's daughter **might** have something to do with it.

It is disrespectful to post another members city/town on the page without their permission, ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Considering almost nobody in this organization uses their **real** name, I can't see somebody driving around Atlanta, Ga, window rolled down yelling "Anyone know the 99th Warthog? He looks like a dead British guy."

"Wait For The Person Who Loves You Just Like This" Yes.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Wait until that moment when you say "Dam, this might be the best I'm going to get?"

Predator - check 3D - check If his name is Arnold, we have the trifecta!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Don't rub his belly.

From an FB post by Jim Wright: Everybody: Don't do this thing because bad shit will happen.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Does it ever make you wonder why voters can't find someone **better**? My theory: idiots vote in a representative democracy. They're over represented.

Stranded on the toilet bowl

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

The phone is for **my** convenience. If it's important, they'll leave a message.

Hmm, maybe I'm doing it wrong...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

I find myself saying "I'll need that **someday.**" Petunia was trying to encourage me to throw away my shaving mug. **One day** I might not be able to buy canned shaving soap but I got the back up. Haven't used a shaving mug for 30 years. Petunia *tries* to use that excuse for buying camping gear. One day we'll need 37 backpacks for our travels.

Stand up for something???

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Often those who fly alone, lost the map.

Good Morning All.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Is **that** what downtown Albany looks like? Gollee, I never knew. ;-)

Interesting.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

I'm depending on my Tom cat, Percy, to protect me.

A brilliant analysis of the Trump call to the Judicial to block/scuttle the ACA.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

The Republicans have promised to replace the ACA for nearly a decade. They can't do it. They've always sided with major corporations that cause Americans to go broke and those corporations want to keep it that way.

Friend of g:31 @tnorman1236 is only 300 points away from Level 9.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Sent. Now he'll be wondering who I am.

Ghosts are deadbeats!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

It's often told tale in NOLA. It's also why cab drivers won't give you a lift near a graveyard, especially St. Peter's Graveyard #2, the "resting place" of the city's voodoo queen.

Colbert..."Trump suddenly remembers health care's a Thing"... [youtube.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

The Republicans can't agree on their version of the Affordable Care Act (Obama Care), therefore they want to eliminate the Democrat's version of universal health care.

It's A Trap!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

It's one of the few places one should use a feather. The deranged can name you a few more places.

Ten characters.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Sounds more like an angry person.

There's a dick at the end of this flower.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Commonly known as the monkey orchid, Orchis simia. I'm a repository of useless information. :-(

Yipeeee, I have been waiting for this day.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Actually it's International Whisk(e)y Day. The odd spelling is to account for whiskey that is spelled without the "e" i.e. whisky made in Holland.

Won't lie sometimes I watch shows twice

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 27, 2019:

It's the effects of the delusion that multi-tasking is possible.

Bump Stock Are Banned. Opinions anyone?.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

A case of flying fingers and excessive caffeine. Or something.

Diaphanous- light, delicate, and translucent.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

. . . and dam hard to spell on the fly.

I think I'll pass.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

I want to see what **that** round up looks like. What kind of cowboy . . . . Naw. Changed my mind.

A friend of mine just lost a high school mate to a senseless shooting.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

When I die, I want to be put on a shrimp boat and thrown overboard. That'll teach all those stupid yehaws that promise to dance on my grave.

Might have an idea where the bulb is at.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Now, tell us where you put the light switch.

What's left in our shiny world?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Been a long time since I saw Opus.

These changes to the site are out if hand. Now you can see the meme without opening it? Stupid.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

I've yet to run into any real problems with the memes but then I use a big daddy tower computer and large screen computer.

Good Morning All. The sun is out and shining this morning. Everyone have a great day!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

If I did that, I'd start smiling. Once I start smiling, Petunia wonders what I've been up to. After that, it goes all down hill.

This would be great do you agree or disagree? ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

You sure you don't want a dog instead?

CNN: Trump just made sure health care will decide the 2020 election [cnn.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

According to the site, he is trying to get rid of a health care that covers pre-existing health conditions. This a complete turn about on his previous position on health care. Landslide defeat awaits.

Just looking for a descent woman to spend time with and see where things can lead.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

I think it's a typo but you sure you want a "descent" woman? One that's in decline?

Brilliant sign!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

No wonder Petunia doesn't want to go out for Sunday brunch.

LIBERTINE n.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

One and two aren't used as I heard it used. It's always been #1. This message has been brought to you by Sluts'r'us.

Checkmate!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

I didn't know there was a pick up truck that could move a mobile home.

Have some fun with it

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

I'll use my cosmic superpowers to fill in pages 8-9.

Tho its still dawn in the other side of the pacific ocean but hey! Its Good morning!??? soooo....?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Here in Seneca, SC, it's getting there: 5:23 a.m. The cat, Percy, told me he had to have breakfast after I visited the restroom. Pushy little critter.

I wonder if they know.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

It's an addiction to endorphins and a desire to destroy sneakers.

VEXILLOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Once covered on the Big Bang Theory.

Woof bark.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

My tom cat, Percy, refuses to go outside the house. I wonder if he knows if our clay soil is either slimy because it rains or a brick because it hasn't rained. Keep him fed and change his litter box and the cat stays happy.

If you're in the north east, crampons and snowshoes are still a very good idea.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Considering there are trees with most of the branches on one side of the tree, there's regular high winds up there.

Fake it til you make it

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Who says research can't be fun?

Me today...fuck ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

If you **wanted** to work, they wouldn't pay you to work.

William Barr Can’t Exonerate Donald Trump Despite what the attorney general’s letter to ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

The AG was **appointed** by Trump. Explains too much why he said it.

Morning folks. Its a sunny day! Is Spring in the air? Have a good day all.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

I'm hooking up the pressure washer today. The pine pollen is turning Petunia's red car yellow daily.

Oh Ethel, you should have gone for the face lift...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

During Phyllis Diller's life time (1917-2012) she spent over a million dollars on plastic surgery. Didn't help.

Carbs are definitely life ??

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Looks photoshopped.

This is not a complete and total vindication of President Trump.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

The video gives a rehash of various view points with **added** commercials.

Who else can relate

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Before and after your artistic license expires.

Solution to global warming ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

They will need to install a water sprinkler in that globe.

ULTRAFIDIAN.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Sounds like a typical bible belter.

I worship the weirdness in ALL of you!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

How many of our doorsteps have you darkened? Should I leave a candle in the window for you?

In fond memory of Scott Walker - a true favourite of mine, especially his astounding solo works.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Died: March 25, 2019

OOOooooo P.U.?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Farts are shits without the mess.

I'ved had this happen!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

The charges included nepotism.

Poets get all the dates.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

In relationships, love doesn't last. Cooking do.

Intumescent ADJECTIVE (of a coating or sealant) swelling up when heated, thus protecting the ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Sounds like something that might be used on an engine block.

Happy singles see happy couples everywhere.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

The grass is always greener over the septic tank -- Erma Bombeck.

If I leave this group for a while am I able to return?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

>.I’m sure some of you can figure why. Not me but I can invent plenty of reasons that are phony.

Click click.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Cheap aluminum tongs fall apart easily. It's important to test if they're still working before trying to pick something out a boiling pot of water only to have fall back into the pot with scalding water coming your way.

Do you think it would work?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

# I can't figure out what it is.

She's totally dressed, but still so erotic!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Ah, the Bobbie twins.

[alternet.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

> Barr told Congress that Mueller believes that even though his report “does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

Happy Sunday!!!! It's Mueller Time!!!!! Are you waiting to see if our POTUS collaborated with a ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

I've been beating on the lawn mower until I could get it to run.

Smart advertising.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

...giggle, giggle.