Lately, I've had trouble getting the heading function to work.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

If you're looking at my post and wondering why there is a pair of hash tags around the word "lately" -- figure out it's not working for me. It **used** to work.

A Cherokee Parable: The Tale of Two Wolves.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Grandpa! I got a freaking pack of wolves in me. They're not didactic wolves. They got 50 shades of gray and they all want to kill your sheep. Some of them want to kill your sheep because it's fun, not because they want raw mutton for dinner.

Improvement Suggestion - Can we split the Grrr/Dislike into two emojies for a post Like vote?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

I await for someone to raise the issue of a lack of "show me your tits" emoji. The person who does it will need an award for their bravery and dumb idea.

Do you spank your tank?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

It's the first time I heard anyone call it "spank your tank." I used to rock the truck so the last bit of gasoline could be put in it. I stopped doing that when I found out during the day the gasoline would get warm, expand and come out of the tank.

She might not be 10/10 but I love this bikini, it should be mandatory at the beach!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Her sister ditches the bikini.

Double stoned whammy.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Mushrooms on the side.

Um, I'm sorry, but there's not enough cocaine or Spanish Fly to get me "in the mood" for that ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

The photo journalists are at the back door.

[bbc.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Despite his claim global warming isn't real, he's already built a seawall to stop the sea from flooding his course. One of his neighbors keeps building "fuck Trump" style billboards. He's been on the losing end of the popularity stick there.

Thin?mints.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Girl Scouts never sell rice cakes.

She was one of a kind, and SO damn smart.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Dead at 60 -- December 2016. You know you're getting old when the heroes you grew up with start dying.

Drinking and hunting

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

You **might** be a redneck if you've ever been too drunk to fish. -- Jeff What'sHisName.

AUTODIDACT.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Also see bookworm.

Payback is a bitch now we show Republicans how it feels for things like what they did to Hillary.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

#Won't work.# 1) They'll figure it's fake news. 2) They'll assume the fix was in from the global leftists conspiracy.

Good old 4.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

One through three use invisible ink on their shoulders.

And that's why there aren't any unicorns left

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

Every time a guy shaves his nuts, a chupacabra is born. When a gal gets her butt hairs shaved, jackalopes reproduce. Welcome to pornographic silliness 301.

To explain what the word "statuesque" means:

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

It looks like Michelangelo decided to carve the female version of David and put clothes on her.

[alternet.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

From the source cited: "“Well, number one, I don’t know if it’s true,” said Kennedy, saying the source was anonymous. “Number two, I think it’s perfectly acceptable for the president of the United States to have an opinion.” Well, yea, he **can** have an **opinion** even if it's a bogus one.

Before and after.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

Zap! She's a blond with wind blown hair, sans stud bunny.

Makes hell look good.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

She gives a whole 'nother meaning for taking the situation by the horns.

This is why I don't support teaching cursive

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

I got use to taking notes so quickly my cursive sometimes becomes unreadable. On the far extreme, my ex-wife's handwriting looked like calligraphy. It took her so long to write a check, the people behind her in line would glare at her long enough that she didn't write the amount of the check in our joint account checkbook. Because this was before the days of checking our bank account on line, it resulted in not knowing how much money was in our account and rubber checks.

Well, this was a weird glitch.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

What's a synonym for? Assuming you can't get the dictionary to accept it, use custom, habit, way, practice, convention, routine, use, rule, instead. There's been times I think a synonym is for when you can't spell the word you want. I hate to think how many times smoke has come out of my spell checker.

South America in da house!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2019:

I can see a day at the beach with her and a pint of sunscreen.

Pants on fire

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

Sing around the campfire, join the Republican boys.

We must continue to let the normies know

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

No ethnic humor allowed.

True story!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

"Now," said dear old dad advancing the next picture, "You take this guy in the red light district trying to get a line of credit out of Suzi . . . ."

Bob's bigger burgers.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

When Petunia and I watch Bob's Burgers, Petunia wants to know why their Louise wears bunny ears. I tell Petunia that her mother was a former Playboy bunny that had a short career. It's a theory that doesn't fly.

Equal opportunity fucker

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

My kind of parade.

Getting tired of looking

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

It's been my theory that **most** people get married after they've finished formal schooling. The ones that don't get married are the ones nobody wanted.

YAW.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

It's also used with pitch, to point upward or downward.

Dang Rodent!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

My neighbors are mowing their yards.

Trump will argue this to fire up and anger his white conservative base.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

"I am not in any organized party. I'm a Democrat." -- Will Smith.

Welcome ALL those who've joined lately. Could you eat dinner?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

I always enjoy a dinner with a view.

Bête noire - An anathema; someone or something which is particularly disliked or avoided; an object...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

It's an abomination we gotta steal from the French and toss in accent marks.

Dumb friends.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2019:

You forgot to include the ball gag step. Otherwise, you'll get **such** a headache.

Are we witnessing the rise of the Fourth Reich? [washingtonpost.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I worry he will consider the 2020 election a national emergency, declare marshal law and himself as our new king once it becomes obvious he has no chance of winning.

Death by Charity: the Dark Side of Decluttering [truthout.org]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

It pretty much says in Canada, too many poverty stricken people depend on charity and there isn't enough shelters for the homeless to keep them from freezing to death. The US has the same problem.

I don't know about that.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Pork butt is **accurately** a shoulder roast. It's a big hunk of cheap meat and often isn't sold as a whole shoulder roast. I suspect they forgot a comma. I want to know what they stuffed the butt with.

Hey Mike!..and all who've joined lately that I've missed. I give you "Wowsers"

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

She's my waitress at my favorite bar, Brews on the Alley in Seneca, SC.

Rolling? I don't think so.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Cool. I never could convince myself to spend enough money on a camera that could do a panoramic shot.

God’s plan

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

God **could** have killed Satan as well. It would have ruined the plot line.

RIP Bone Spurs

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

# Historically in America, the wealthy have always avoided getting drafted and stayed off the front lines # That's why during Vietnam, **most** of the wounded and dead were 19 year old black guys.

Gravity is real!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

# Gravity is a cruel mistress #

Astrology just for fun - I'm a Virgo - the funny and loyal one.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Astrology is the mad half sister of astronomy.

Which three would you keep?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Coffee until it's time for wine. **One** cat to keep me safe from vermin. Recently, Percy my Tom cat had proved his worth by killing a mouse. Other cats have killed snakes and mole crickets. They're a murderous group. Some of them like to snuggle.

Is it real,..or is it Memorex?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

A pervert with money to spend, for sure. I've bought low mileage cars for less than Miss Plastic would cost.

9 Things to give up if you want to be happy

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Idealistic meadow muffins for the gullible.

Seems to be a glitch.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Percy, my lonesome Tom cat, refuses to let me to give a rat's ass. He says it is the tastiest part. I'm too kind to hurt his feelings over something as trivial as that. What's with the big whoopie do if I'm logged in or logged out? With my big daddy who ha steam powered computer if I'm logged out it only takes an extra two clicks to log back in.

Too good not to share

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

The Democrates have all the women with smoking hot curves but don't tell them that. We're overdue to elect another Muslim woman.

Tweety has warned everyone off with lawsuits against ever making his academic records public.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Trump has never been seen at class reunions. He was rarely seen at class. His former private lawyer says he regularly threatens to sue schools if they release either his SAT results or his grade transcripts.

Some of my favorite things

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Got to put sausage slices inside the grill cheese sandwich to make it taste more like pizza.

A very apt meme given the drama in the AG Senate.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Stolen.

Here's pushback against Trump's 'socialism.' [m.youtube.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I'd like to read all the news National Inquirer found not to print and killed them so the public wouldn't know about.

Pearly whites!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Sharks are always friendly.

Tweety has warned everyone off with lawsuits against ever making his academic records public.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Trump has never been seen at class reunions. He was rarely seen at class.

That's one way to do it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I don't want look closely enough at a fire ant determine its gender.

That's one way to do it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I don't want to look closely enough at a fire ant to determine its gender.

A New Group-- Thanks for stopping by- g:878

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I wish them all the best but I won't be stopping by. It's on my list of "don't want to know."

Just a random text I just received on my phone a little while ago.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2019:

You're asking? You don't know? Why don't you know? I know you're sorry so why did you have to call me and tell me?

If you ever get a chance to make it to Ishigaki, Okinawa, Japan, it is an incredible experience.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2019:

Is this Banna Park?

Old goodie...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2019:

Be back in a second. Gotta shoot an atheist in a fox hole. How they get in there, I have no idea.

I remember this,...I think...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2019:

"Kid," I said, "You've been talking since you got here. Where you inoculated with a phonograph needle?" I knew I had gotten old when an 12 year old asked "What's a phonograph?"

WUNDERBAR (Adjective, German) and WONDERBRA (Noun, International).

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2019:

The only time I've seen it used was for the name of the search bar on a car radio.

The infamous "chat" has been a hot topic around here recently.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Unless it's a few hours, once a week, chat rooms are generally empty. Often it's **one** person who's parked themselves there before they went off to funky town and thereby ignoring anyone else that came into the chat room. What's needed is an alarm noise ("Dwong") that goes off while a person is visiting the Senate's message base to let them know a person has entered the chat room. Either that or have a few hours once a week when the chat room is open after someone has announced they'll be there, waiting for visitors. Overall, I avoid chat rooms because the messages are so short it's like exchanging bumper stickers.

Dr. Land is going to conference Dr. Phil they are going to have a dump.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Maybe it's because I just woke up but who is Dr. Land?

Mark Meadows; the congressman from N.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Petunia shutters when ever South Carolina makes the national news.

Hi all.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

No heat, no water in New Hampshire ought to make them move out in the first week of March. Law suit will be dismissed.

I think I need that shirt.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

I have shot glass that says "Another. You're still ugly."

How many are pineapple wraps?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

My eyes are getting blood shot just thinking about it.

The way I see it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Don't forget to send a post card.

Ahhh, Coffee! :)

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

It's coffee until it's time to wine.

A little close to home...LOL!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

For 30 years, I felt that way. I found local women who wanted to have wild affairs with and they went camping with me (see my group at #adults #camping #hiking #Dixie #Parks #Waterfalls) but they weren't suitable to **live** with. They came with baggage. However, I did find a gal living 500 miles away while gasoline was super cheap. I'd only visit on three day weekends or vacations for a three years. It was a ten hour drive to get to her. After that affair, we got married. Petunia is still around. Let me repeat: 30 years of looking for that one. She's not all that grateful she found me. At times I wonder how long it'd take to find an upgrade.

So comforting

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

He who still laughs has not yet been told the horrible truth.

Ah suburban youth...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

By their pompous outlook, ye shall know them.

Last day of February! Id like to say fuck-off to Feb and Helloooooo to March.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

The neighbors were riding their lawn mowers today.

Laser removal

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Child laser removal? Tell me more.

Go ahead, look it up...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Hens lay eggs. Cocks don't.

VERISIMILITUDE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Largely replaced with the easier to spell factoid, meaning an unverified fact.

Good morning, At the airport heading to St Maarten.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2019:

Be sure to bring broken in shoes/sneakers and have fun.

@actofdog just made Level 8!!! Stick with us, Grasshopper & you will go far!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

So? Who's throwing him a party?

The 23 most consequential lines from Michael Cohen's testimony Analysis by Chris Cillizza, CNN ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

# It's interesting that Trump assumed he didn't want the job # Instead he was running to beef up his brand name. 7. "Mr. Trump would often say, this campaign was going to be the 'greatest infomercial in political history.'"

Happy Hump Day, y'all!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

Hide the goats!

If polygraphs were admissible in court, our esteemed "leaders" would be subject to them, too.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

It's too easy to lie and still pass a polygraph. It's why it's inadmissible in court.

Sometimes I'll post a meme or two.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

In your example it is likely you have made two pages of recent posts and considering you're at level nine 1,551 **total** posts, most of them with an inane number of grammatically incorrect ellipsis. You remember . . . ellipsis? When I see the overboard use of dot, dot, dot . . . I conclude it's a person didn't get them from frequent visits to the library, i.e. Donald Trump. Donald's poor spelling, grammar and excessive dots is a subject of many a late night show comic's routines. Because he did poorly in school, his attorneys frequently threaten to sue any school that releases his transcripts. I digress. It's because of over indulgence of caffeine.

Funny how these republican Fascists read statements that ask the same questions that are not ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

>. . . . all crimes that you and I would be imprisoned for! That's because we can't afford their lawyers.

Are you offended?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

"I'm offended," is what wanta be book burners say.

My kinda diet

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

That's how I broke the blender.

Damn those snakes!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

This post has been brought to you by the house of Slytherin.

Did you sleep well?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

That is me after my second eight ounce mug of espresso.

Swans don’t lie

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

Swans are good eats.

Slap the chicken

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

Cook it with x-ray vision, Clark. Watch it glow in the dark.

Cohen's testimony has been released [int.nyt.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

I'll wait for the summary.

Diet is a four letter word.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

"Lips that touch mice, will never touch mine." -- Garfield the cat.

Pretty much sums up an old friend who has gone to the right wing dark side - sigh

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

It's no longer difficult for me believe people are **that** stupid they buy into the shape shifting lizard overlords conspiracy based on a comic book published in 1929. The older I get, the more often I ask what am I doing in this country?

Put a leash on them already

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

She's one of the typical people who show up at nude beaches. Should I explain why I've stopped going to nude beaches?

Forecast..

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

I want a map legion. Is the red extra wet? Is the blue ice?

On sex......

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2019:

This has been a post by the Live Lavishly group.

I'm not a big proponent of marriage.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2019:

In the distant past most women had short lives and often died in childbirth. Once they died, a guy would get another one. Nobody expected to stay married for 50 years. If anything, they'd marry women at age 12. Thanks to health care, public sanitation, drinkable water, etc., a gal can be around for 80 years or more. Plenty of time for both parties to get annoying and **need** a divorce. Therefore, I think marriage **ought** to be a renewable contract, say every three years.

[alternet.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2019:

Devon claims it was "witness testing." 8o

What’s YOUR Trump tweet?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2019:

After the first thousand, I stopped collecting Trump memes.

I'm not a big proponent of marriage.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 26, 2019:

# One can get into an abusive relationship without benefit of clergy. # Insisting on marrying an abusive partner makes division of property and child support more complicated but it isn't a **real** excuse to stay with them. After seeing people hunt down **another** abusive spouse to marry and even re-marry the same one, I conclude that abusive relationships are too complicated to pin on marriage alone. When I explain what it is about, feminists come out of the wood works to brow beat me. Freaks them out when I explains an abusive spouse isn't always a *guy,* despite the evidence of police reports. Don't ask me. If I explain it, I'll get in trouble. Been there, done that, not doing it again. The major advantage of a successful marriage is the illusion of stability in the community as well as a division of responsibilities. They don't bar a spouse from visiting you in the ICU. They will bar three girls friends from visiting you in the ICU. There is no questioning of who takes care of the kids when the other spouse isn't around. The illusion of stability of a married couple means dual potential of income and therefore the *illusion* they won't default on their debts. A single person getting a 30 year house loan can be difficult. Married people get lower taxes and better credit. They can negotiate better/cheaper insurance as well. It also provides a most excellent excuse why you're reluctant to get your ashes hauled by third parties. Back off gal, I married Big Bertha. For **some** women, it's a big excuse for the biggest party they'll ever throw that's all about **them.** It took months for Petunia stop watching the videos of our marriage and hauling out the photo album.