You just won two all-expense paid 1 week trips to anywhere on earth more than 50 miles from home.

JackPedigo comments on Jul 2, 2019:

An additional catch for me would be how one gets there. Flying creates one of the highest amounts of green house gasses. I can't enjoy a trip if my pleasure is at the expense of our life support system.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

Book a cruises on Merchant Marine ships. Catch: travel agents won't deal with them. You can get a small state room and the crew eats rather well.

You just won two all-expense paid 1 week trips to anywhere on earth more than 50 miles from home.

BudFrank comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Never been: Brazil. Never been anywhere in South America. That sounds as good as anywhere Didn’t particularly enjoy: Australia. Short business trip. No feel for the country.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@FrayedBear > let me show you some of its beautiful scenery, flora and fauna outside the cities. While I was in your country a group of bikers said if I'd jump ship, they would do that for me. Friendly, farts.

You just won two all-expense paid 1 week trips to anywhere on earth more than 50 miles from home.

BitFlipper comments on Jul 1, 2019:

First trip: I've always wanted to see Paris. Second trip: Chicago. Yawn.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

I've been to both places. As long as you stay out of south Chicago, it's a great city. I especially enjoyed their art museums. Paris is better. Lot more art museums. Food isn't half bad either.

You just won two all-expense paid 1 week trips to anywhere on earth more than 50 miles from home.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Vegas, baby! Diego Garcia.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@GwenBFree Don't worry. Tales of life on Diego Garcia make it even worse.

"Brown brown" is a mixture of cocaine and gunpowder.

Marionville comments on Jul 4, 2019:

Certainly new information for me....unlikely though it is I will be sampling it!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

Ah, come on! Live dangerously.

Happy 4th of July from the Bicentennial Celebration in the village of 1500, Nassau, NY.

TheGreatShadow comments on Jul 4, 2019:

1500 is a village? Come here and you'll see a village. You'll cry. Have fun tho!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

The population was 1,133 at the 2010 census. The Village of Nassau is in the south part of the county in the Town of Nassau, with a small western portion in the Town of Schodack. The locals in Seneca, SC, call 'em Yankees.

Because it is the 4th here in 'merica and we should celebrate!

St-Sinner comments on Jul 4, 2019:

I am proud of being an American and I really feel I belong with her.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

The last blonde I knew well was Swedish.

This is the real story.

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Cute "meme" but far from true; https://www.zmescience.com/science/oceanography/fish-stocks-ocean-20012016/ "The ocean is resilient but there is a limit." The report said populations of fish, marine mammals, birds and reptiles had fallen 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. For fish alone, the ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@Robecology: 'm guessing you're also a anthropomorphic climate change denier as well? >I'm also guessing a you're a conservative, a Trump supporter, religious, and heavily invested in fossil fuels? You guess wrong on all those points. I even have a solar powered canoe for pending sea rise; vote democratic as well as a militant atheist. I deny you have a **complete** fishery census. Disagreeing with me on one thing doesn't we're in total disagreement on everything.

pre·var·i·cate /prəˈverəˌkāt/ verb speak or act in an evasive way.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 4, 2019:

Brings to mind "What? Me worry?"

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@BoingoOingo42 Closing shop after 87 years.

This is the real story.

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Cute "meme" but far from true; https://www.zmescience.com/science/oceanography/fish-stocks-ocean-20012016/ "The ocean is resilient but there is a limit." The report said populations of fish, marine mammals, birds and reptiles had fallen 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. For fish alone, the ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@Robecology That seafood fish stocks are not declining? In **some areas** of the oceans they are in decline. Most of the oceans have vast **unexplored** areas. You counting those fish? With ocean warming what you will see is a **change** of ocean life. Ever heard of the Humboldt squid **over population** in the Pacific? Your link gives us the world human population clock. The end times were forecasts in the 19th century not taking in account that mankind would found more productive means of feeding the starving masses into the 21st century. While I was in public school, it was a given India would have its annual famine. Dead by famine in India is no longer a major issue.

Bada Bing Bada BOOM! Nuff said...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

## 'nuff said means there will be more said. Release the licking lizard!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@Cutiebeauty You missed the boat. Once 'nuff is said is said, **somebody** will say more. So, how many more responses has 'nuff said gotten so far? Why even you are saying more

This is how it works for me.

Haemish1 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

Wow! What’s the secret?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

Wing woman that isn't that much into you. Great mystery of humanity: have one woman, the second one starts hitting on you.

This is how it works for me.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jul 3, 2019:

So, you decide you want to meet a woman and she magically appears... That's really absurd! 😄😄

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 4, 2019:

Believe it or shove it -- works for me.

Food for thought....

ToakReon comments on Jul 3, 2019:

An argument for underground, windowless BDSM playrooms!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

Working on the kinkier than thou award?

I love a parade, especially when it honors a lying, traitorous, self agrandizing, low life bottom ...

chalupacabre comments on Jul 3, 2019:

Still neat, but not quite the same withouth the helium.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

@Our_existence The irony would be palatable.

Touring a little of South Dakota on my way back to Nee Jersey.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

## Took me forever to stop pronouncing buttes. Happy trails to you.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

@UUNJ My mistake. I meant MISpronouncing as if they were rumps ahoy. I grew up in Dixie where they don't have those kind of stone formations.

Still tossing a few out there.

Boomtarat03 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

The truth reveals it all, sexy with that smile😁

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

@Bungaloebob On the porn sites there is a sub category of "flat top fuckers" for the gals with the a cups. Somebody likes tits of a ten year old boy on a 18 year old girl.

I love a parade, especially when it honors a lying, traitorous, self agrandizing, low life bottom ...

chalupacabre comments on Jul 3, 2019:

Still neat, but not quite the same withouth the helium.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

@Our_existence Oh, poo. Hundreds of heavily armed military men are going to pass his reviewing area and none of them wants to shoot him? I want to hear about the guy in a tank that throws a shell in the canon just before he gets to the reviewing stand.

My dad is a dick and he hates me.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

## Sounded more like political suicide that led to an execution.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

@ownworstenemy Do mass murderers every think things through?

Fudge. The system says I can only upload ten photos at a time.

Boomtarat03 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

Attention! Like it booom!😁😅😋

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

Sadly, I'm not allowed to share my x-files in here.

Bada Bing Bada BOOM! Nuff said...

Haemish1 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

That is quite the bikini!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

Marked down at Victoria's Secret from $235 to $187. Now you know, hunt down suitable stuffing for the bikinis.

Still tossing a few out there.

Boomtarat03 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

The truth reveals it all, sexy with that smile😁

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

Doesn't hurt that there is not a single flat chested woman in the group.

What qualities do you look for in a companion?

PontifexMarximus comments on Jul 3, 2019:

There is no theoretical answer to a practical proposition. We float in our fantasies until we hit the hard rock of reality.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

Whoa! Poetry awaits.

bindlestiff Noun.

AnonySchmoose comments on Jul 3, 2019:

I wondered if 'bindlestiff' might connote a relatively dead or sleeping person with little bundle of things.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

There is the Bindlestiff Family Circus, which features tramps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz0I-36K1ZM

YOB.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 3, 2019:

Yobbery sounds too much like snobbery.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 3, 2019:

@Marionville A snobbish yob was charged with the robbery. I can see it in the police report. ;-)

Boffola (noun) a joke or a line in a script designed to get a laugh.

Arouet comments on Jul 2, 2019:

What is the point of this word? What does it convey that the word "joke" misses or is this just a neologism for its own sake?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@Arouet Not as old as you, apparently. My long standing joke is on the 8th day, the Lord said "Lo! Strike that one from the record." Sometimes I tell people I'm so old I pre-date God. Dated His mom. If they buy either joke, I know I got a hot one on the line.

This is the real story.

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Cute "meme" but far from true; https://www.zmescience.com/science/oceanography/fish-stocks-ocean-20012016/ "The ocean is resilient but there is a limit." The report said populations of fish, marine mammals, birds and reptiles had fallen 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. For fish alone, the ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@Robecology They're sunfish, which once you get it hooked heads to the nearest stump and wraps the fishing line around it. Largely it's an ill defined fresh water fish that nobody farms. Once they are landed, they may be called pan fry or too small to filet. Here in South Carolina they "farm" trout. They release the mature trout into the streams and lakes which are ill suited for trout. The master plan is to get people to fish for trout in South Carolina. It's not one of the greatest plan in aqua culture. Unless they count **all** fish in the sea, there's no telling what's there. What the studies represent is **areas** where they think of as representative of the sea as a whole.

Men can't cook!!

Robecology comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Don't get me started; https://www.orlandosentinel.com/business/os-women-in-restaurants-20160928-story.html

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@Cutiebeauty what's also beyond you is humor... Oh. One of those fancy Dan ad hominem attacks. That operates under the premise if you can't win, call 'em names. I shall accept my victory. Metals for all.

Boffola (noun) a joke or a line in a script designed to get a laugh.

Arouet comments on Jul 2, 2019:

What is the point of this word? What does it convey that the word "joke" misses or is this just a neologism for its own sake?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

It's origin dates to the 1940's. You thinking this is a freshly coined word or neologism? Hokey Smokes, Bullwinkle, how old are you?

Men can't cook!!

brentan comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Change filter: 1. Twist and turn canister 2. Drain contents Prepare meal: 1. Twist and turn can 2. Drain contents

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@brentan I thought #10 was my punch line on the topic of oil changes. It fell flat.

Boffola (noun) a joke or a line in a script designed to get a laugh.

AmelieMatisse comments on Jul 2, 2019:

I guess it somehow is linked to the word buffoon? We use that word a lot here in the US when describing our faux president

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

According to the Urban Dictionary: *Boffola a joke intended to cause laughter or a hearty andy unrestrained laugh it originated in the 1940’s in north america (it’s a great word that should be more widely known) What a might boffola you have!! When all other jokes fail to land i pull out a boffola and everyone loves it!* I have too many other harsh words for Orange Buffoon.

This is the real story.

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Cute "meme" but far from true; https://www.zmescience.com/science/oceanography/fish-stocks-ocean-20012016/ "The ocean is resilient but there is a limit." The report said populations of fish, marine mammals, birds and reptiles had fallen 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. For fish alone, the ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@Robecology Don't care for stump knockers and blue gills?

Men can't cook!!

scurry comments on Jul 2, 2019:

I know many, many, many men who absolutely can cook!!!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Fur sure, fur sure. I do most of the cooking here at the fabled Warthog estate. It's hard to forget Petunia bragging to her dad that I "cook like this **all the time.**" Now if I could get her to clean the kitchen on those rare times she takes a stab at cooking.

Men can't cook!!

brentan comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Change filter: 1. Twist and turn canister 2. Drain contents Prepare meal: 1. Twist and turn can 2. Drain contents

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

You've skipped a few steps on the oil change. 1. Do what needs to done to get under the car. (Several options exist). 2. Put an oil pan under the oil drain plug. 3. Remove plug and wait for the oil to drain. 4. Remove old oil filter with a highly specialized oil filter wrench. 5. Curse lavishly when you realize how greasy you've become. 6. Screw the new oil filter in place. 7. Screw the oil plug back in place. 8. Put fresh oil in the engine block. Be sure to put the oil cap back on. 9. Dispose oil and old oil filter properly. 10. Curse lavishly when someone points out you could have gotten Walmart to do all that for $5 more than the new filter and a gallon of oil costs you. Your cooking skills are painfully lacking if you're eating straight out of the can.

Men can't cook!!

Robecology comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Don't get me started; https://www.orlandosentinel.com/business/os-women-in-restaurants-20160928-story.html

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Crank it up. First, the meme shows **a guy cooking.** He is using three burners, suggesting he's preparing a full meal. Why the meme says men can't cook is beyond me. Your link isn't an advertisement but rather a news story about the sexual divide between male cooks and female cooks pay rates. Why Cutie says otherwise is also beyond me. Anyone who watches the food network, realizes **both** genders can cook extraordinarily well.

Boffola (noun) a joke or a line in a script designed to get a laugh.

Marionville comments on Jul 1, 2019:

New to me...must dream a few boffolas up to entertain you.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

As they say at Lulu's house of whoopie, feel free.

This is the real story.

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Cute "meme" but far from true; https://www.zmescience.com/science/oceanography/fish-stocks-ocean-20012016/ "The ocean is resilient but there is a limit." The report said populations of fish, marine mammals, birds and reptiles had fallen 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. For fish alone, the ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@Robecology My favorite fishing hole at the county's Picket Post park is so overstocked, they eliminated the fishing limit. How do you feel about cleaning stump knockers and blue gills?

Good morning all! Today's topic : the wet spot.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 16, 2019:

As a precaution, put a towel under a butt and it's much easier than replacing sheets. In Dixie during summer the sexually active living without air conditioning think washing sheets never ends because everybody gets soaked in sweat. When the sheets are flapping in the breeze daily, the neighbors...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@Bungaloebob One day I'll figure out why I collect memes like this to share.

Shit happens. Especially after 27 beers,

FrayedBear comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Drink a decent beer and after half a dozen you will be under the table comotose and no one, apart from yourself, will have to suffer. 👋👋👋👋👋🤯

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@FrayedBear It's pronounced "To Kill 'ya" for a reason. If you're feeling artistic and want loosen your wallet buying triple sec or Cointreu, make a tequila sun rise. It's what I serve my arm candy. Next time you're in a bar, tell 'em to shake the dust off the bar manual and fix you one instead. Tell the bar maid not to spare the garnish. It's essential. See the arm candy make one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6fZ4x2n6l4 According to Mexican legend, a bar tender had a daughter who couldn't stand tequila. There he was with gallons of cheap tequila. He discovered a way to make a cocktail with tequila that she loved. He named it after her, hence the legendary Margarita of Jimmy Buffet fame. For Jimmy, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue2-ZVxpVjc Petunia prefers a frozen margarita; I prefer the classic. The classic doesn't burn up the blender. Make 'em hate your guts at your favorite watering hole, order the frozen version. Stress to bartender they **must** rim the glass with salt. It's essential. See a middle aged woman make either one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNwNvq8Kxl8 To make it out the door, don't order two pitchers of margaritas.

Local idiots don't see any problem running across my yard.

SiouxcitySue comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Can't say they weren't warned.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Dead men, tell no tales.

This is the real story.

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Cute "meme" but far from true; https://www.zmescience.com/science/oceanography/fish-stocks-ocean-20012016/ "The ocean is resilient but there is a limit." The report said populations of fish, marine mammals, birds and reptiles had fallen 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. For fish alone, the ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Back to the fishing hole for me.

This is the real story.

bobwjr comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Looks like some of the women from POF lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@SiouxcitySue A tip of my hat to you.

Boffola (noun) a joke or a line in a script designed to get a laugh.

Haemish1 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Is this even real? I’m thinking it’s shineola. 😉

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

Go ahead google it. While you're at it . . . . noun trademark noun: Shinola a brand of boot polish. Source: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/shinola

This is the real story.

bobwjr comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Looks like some of the women from POF lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

What is a POF?

Shit happens. Especially after 27 beers,

FrayedBear comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Drink a decent beer and after half a dozen you will be under the table comotose and no one, apart from yourself, will have to suffer. 👋👋👋👋👋🤯

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@FrayedBear Old town Sydney during the bronze age or are you referring to *Brews on the Alley*? Have you ever ordered a shot of tequila, lime and salt in your country? Perhaps the entire country has become aware of drinking tequila since then.

Good morning all.

Haemish1 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

I joined November 15, 2018 The lure of a free T-shirt drew me in, but I think I’ll stay for the music, conversation and memes:)

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

My fundamentalist wife has hidden my free t-shirt two days after I wore it. :-(

Good morning all.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

I've been here since December, 2018. I live in a little hick town populated by ultrafundamentalist Southern Baptists that seemed to have dedicated their life to the greater good of Clemson University (South Carolina) and nailing planks of wood on telephone poles that say things like **repent.** ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@freeofgod A friend of mine told me while he was in college in the Great White North, a coed saw a yin and yang sign on the back of his jacket and asked what it meant. Rather than explain one of the great philosophical concepts of eastern civilization to her, he told her it's the symbol of Northern Pacific Railroad. "How did she get in college without knowing . . .?" he moaned. I got one that's better. I was taking a zoology class in college when the teacher was explaining what the answers were to an exam we had just taken. Instructor: the answer is ball and socket joint. Coed: How do you spell that? Instructor: Ball. B-a-l-l . . . How did she get out of high school? Can't spell "ball"? Much, much, later I found out what our high school standards are. Some times they graduate illiterates from high school. No child left behind -- especially the morons.

This one is funny corny witty cheesy not really

Redheadedgammy comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Yes, commas are quite important in a sentence....LOL

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@Rudy1962 I was referring to a pet peeve of mine. Properly used an ellipsis is a set of three periods ( . . . ) indicating an omission. Each period should have a single space on either side, except when adjacent to a quotation mark, in which case there should be no space. Instead, I keep seeing ellipsis used improperly and generously. Some people will break up their sentences irrationally, 50 dots (or periods) per reply. I've yet to hear anyone offer a rational excuse for that annoying habit. I have a theory but you wouldn't like it.

VENAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 30, 2019:

## I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@LenHazell53 Out of Inkwell Productions.

I'm surrounded.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

> i'm surrounded by tight wingers. I'm not sure if that's a typographical error or they're drinking heavily.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@CommonHuman Possibly tightly wound around the idea that human problems **will never happen to them.**

In my snail mail correspondence, I'm mystified by people who overload the envelope with stickers.

Lillyfield41 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

I just wrote a portion of a poem on the back of an envelope to my penpal. I saw it as i walked it into the post office and chastised myself silently. i'm hoping I don't have that impulse again.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@Lillyfield41 > maybe not too young in years, but definitely in spirit. My spirits are 80 proof and it's mint julep season again. :-)

In my snail mail correspondence, I'm mystified by people who overload the envelope with stickers.

Lillyfield41 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

I just wrote a portion of a poem on the back of an envelope to my penpal. I saw it as i walked it into the post office and chastised myself silently. i'm hoping I don't have that impulse again.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@Lillyfield41 Sometimes when I am getting the letter out of the envelope, there are little stickers fluttering out of the envelope for me to use. I like it when it's their address label stickers because my handwriting is so horrible. Not a fan for the kiddie stickers because it suggests maybe they're little too young for me.

This one is funny corny witty cheesy not really

Redheadedgammy comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Yes, commas are quite important in a sentence....LOL

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

More important than dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot in a sentence?

In my snail mail correspondence, I'm mystified by people who overload the envelope with stickers.

Lillyfield41 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

I just wrote a portion of a poem on the back of an envelope to my penpal. I saw it as i walked it into the post office and chastised myself silently. i'm hoping I don't have that impulse again.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

Postal workers generally are trying to work a little too fast and therefore don't want to read poems on the back of an envelope. All they want to read is the forwarding address and get on with their job before the boss calls them loafers. However, once the mail arrives it's up to whoever gets the mail to read the envelope.

VENAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 30, 2019:

## I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@LenHazell53 You get a cigar. When I was a child, I'd watch the black and white Popeye cartoons. When it was time to show the credits they had hatch doors opening and closing. You remember the name of the production company as well?

Shit happens. Especially after 27 beers,

FrayedBear comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Drink a decent beer and after half a dozen you will be under the table comotose and no one, apart from yourself, will have to suffer. 👋👋👋👋👋🤯

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@FrayedBear > Normally if you don't pay for tbe drink presented you don't get to drink it - While I was there, once I got the drink I had to pay for it. Here in the states it's also common to pay for it when you get it and it's also common to run a tab. One place in Pensacola the tab was sent to me at the end of the month. Here in Seneca, South Carolina, my favorite craft beer bar (*Brews on the Alley*) has a "let's hold your credit card and we'll run a tab." I think I went to about eight different watering while I was in your country. One bar tender said he never heard of anyone ordering a shot of tequila, a slice of lime and a shaker of salt.

You just won two all-expense paid 1 week trips to anywhere on earth more than 50 miles from home.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jul 1, 2019:

Vegas, baby! Diego Garcia.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

Gasp! Someone has actually been to Diego Garcia? It's a semi-secret military base eight degrees south of the equator. It's a tiny coral shark infested lagoon in the middle of the Indian Ocean with almost no flights out. While I was there, they had a ratio of something like 15,000 guys and four women. Good reason for ultra serious drinking.

Well those pills haven't expired.

glennlab comments on Jun 30, 2019:

wish it worked that well.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

I guess. I keep seeing a commercial for a ED clinic that says most of the time the little blue pills don't work. They guarantee they'll keep at it until your pecker is hard or some of your money back.

And into July.. nothing changes

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

That's clearly the fault of the "handler"/zoo-keeper...shame on them for allowing that animal to get so overweight.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@Robecology >I don't buy that. How about rent to own?

And into July.. nothing changes

Robecology comments on Jul 1, 2019:

That's clearly the fault of the "handler"/zoo-keeper...shame on them for allowing that animal to get so overweight.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

It's glandular.

Shit happens. Especially after 27 beers,

FrayedBear comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Drink a decent beer and after half a dozen you will be under the table comotose and no one, apart from yourself, will have to suffer. 👋👋👋👋👋🤯

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@FrayedBear While I was in your country I was told for the love of God, don't turn your empty beer glass upside down. Here it means "I don't want a refill. Gimme the bill."

VENAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 30, 2019:

## I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jul 1, 2019:

@LenHazell53 Her dad's first name was Coal. What stops most people is the name of the newspaper comic strip where Popeye first appeared.

VENAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 30, 2019:

## I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@LenHazell53 Few people can remember Wimpy's full name. Remember Olive Oil's dad's full name ?

I got a 30 day FB ban for calling the rebel flag a mutt flag.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 24, 2019:

Many in Dixie consider the rebel flag their heritage.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@BBJong History, as Lord Byron put it, is fiction agreed upon.

Bury me beneath books by Aaron Horkey That or/and catnip.

escapetypist comments on Jun 29, 2019:

I want to be cremated in a conflagration of books

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@Geoffrey51 You're welcome to burn my 1987 hard back edition of a Physician's Desk Reference. They renamed most of the drugs since 1987.

Keeping my membership up to date.

1000runner comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Why bother dressing?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

Slows down biting mosquitoes and sun burn.

Let's be honest, what is your answer?😊

LeighShelton comments on Jun 30, 2019:

a cold dog turd with bare feet

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@LeighShelton Humans take figurative shits, not literal shits on me. Dogs leave them because they don't learn to shit on newspaper. Petunia wouldn't take care of her dogs or house break them. She has a bad track records keeping pets. You want me to tell you the aquarium? On the other hand, point a healthy cat towards a litter box and it's instantly housebroken. Once outside, it'll fertilize my crops. Once outside, a dog will shit everywhere and sometimes roll in it. After that, it'll dig up the cat shit and **eat it.**

Shit happens. Especially after 27 beers,

FrayedBear comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Drink a decent beer and after half a dozen you will be under the table comotose and no one, apart from yourself, will have to suffer. 👋👋👋👋👋🤯

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@FrayedBear In the states, each county determines if they allow sales of alcohol. A "near beer" is a non-alcohol beer or one that is .5% alcohol or less. If you're in a dry county (no alcohol sales) near beer is as close as you'll get to an alcoholic beverage. No hope of catching a buzz off of a near beer. Most beers alcohol content range from 4.5% to 11 percent. Most of the cheap stuff is 4.5% alcohol. Real beer is sold in wet counties (alcohol sales permitted). The wet counties outnumber the dry ones. You won't know if you are in a dry county until you want a drink. After that the little prissy shits will try to sell you a near beer. In each state has a series of smaller government units called counties, except for Louisiana where they're called parishes just to be weird. When visiting Louisiana, be sure to order the Voodoo beer. At one point the state tried to outlaw Voodoo beer, claiming you couldn't name alcoholic beverages after a religion. Christian Brothers successfully filed a law suit against the state to sell their wine in Louisiana. Thanks to Christian Brothers you can have a Voodoo beer. We'un's crazy we is. Louisiana doubly so.

Bury me beneath books by Aaron Horkey That or/and catnip.

escapetypist comments on Jun 29, 2019:

I want to be cremated in a conflagration of books

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@escapetypist The outside of a paperback book will get charred. You have to start a bonfire and toss them, stirring frequently. Even then, they won't burn completely.

Let's be honest, what is your answer?😊

LeighShelton comments on Jun 30, 2019:

a cold dog turd with bare feet

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

For half a decade, Petunia assured me she could house break her yappy dogs. She lied. I know the feeling of stepping in cold dog turds all too well. We have a cat -- no dogs.

VENAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 30, 2019:

## I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@Marionville Yes. Next question? ;-)

Forget about fettuccine alfredo – a Fool’s Gold Loaf is the REAL heart attack on a plate.

Captnron59 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has weird taste in food

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@scurry Escargot is an excuse to eat garlic. Largely ignored up north, crayfish (aka mudbugs) are fresh water lobster. They're often grown in Louisiana rice patties. I'm not Jewish. I love shell fish. It does get worse: I'm a grits snob as well. I've heard beaver tail doesn't taste half bad after three days in a crock pot.

This is a reply I read on FB. It's about gay flag vs. rebel. Who agrees with this?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

After that the rust belt moved to Dixie along with most of aurospace industry. Save your confederate money, *the south has risen again!*

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@dan325 Where do you think all the actual rocket scientists who moved down South for jobs came from? Auburn. Old Miss. The Citadel . . . . Oh, hell, there's too much dam typing for a complete list. See: https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/regional-universities-south >when I lived in Biloxi, Mississippi were just ignorant racists who hated everyone who wasn't white, christian, and local. Dude, it's the same up north if you hang out at the cinder block beer bars.

Shit happens. Especially after 27 beers,

FrayedBear comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Drink a decent beer and after half a dozen you will be under the table comotose and no one, apart from yourself, will have to suffer. 👋👋👋👋👋🤯

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@tnorman1236 One need to also factor in drug tolerance. My ex-biz partner (may the parole board be turning him down now) had to chug a case of beer before he noticed a minor buzz. He switched to liquor. His nightmare was waking up in a near beer country.

Bury me beneath books by Aaron Horkey That or/and catnip.

escapetypist comments on Jun 29, 2019:

I want to be cremated in a conflagration of books

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

I've tried to set fire to old, outdated reference books. Burning books is more work than you think.

Frustrations abound

Logician comments on Jun 30, 2019:

Those families would still be together, if they just stayed HOME instead of coming here ILLEGALLY!!! Sneak into some shit hole of a country, and see how they treat YOU!! We do NOT owe anyone who is too stupid to obey our laws a free living! If we do, how many of these illegal immigrants are you...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

> if they just stayed HOME instead of coming here ILLEGALLY!! International law says if you cross the border without papers and turn yourself in immediately because you're fleeing your country, you're legal. The more reasonable way to deal with this is hire more border agents to process refugee claims than troops to shoot at them or cages for the children. > We do NOT owe anyone who is too stupid to obey our laws a free living! Hardest people I've ever met arrived here from abroad after nearly starving to death in their own country. They'll work three jobs pennies on the dollar. >Oh, I need to shut up because I'm making too much sense here now? There'll come a point when your ignorance will be ignored instead.

a message about my post showing a woman that said it takes an expert to handle the curves.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jun 29, 2019:

The administration took that picture down... Or maybe the automated censorship routine took it down... It wasn't me or my moderator...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@Cutiebeauty What was wrong with the original caption? It was long enough for the rules.

Forget about fettuccine alfredo – a Fool’s Gold Loaf is the REAL heart attack on a plate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 29, 2019:

Couldn't afford to make one himself?....

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@altschmerz Would you believe I'll have to goose you to get you to tell us where that place is?

Forget about fettuccine alfredo – a Fool’s Gold Loaf is the REAL heart attack on a plate.

Captnron59 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has weird taste in food

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

Here. Have a crayfish.

a message about my post showing a woman that said it takes an expert to handle the curves.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jun 29, 2019:

The administration took that picture down... Or maybe the automated censorship routine took it down... It wasn't me or my moderator...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

I didn't mention either you or your moderator. Why so defensive? If it was the "automated censorship routine" or the administration, how could it go back up?

Look what crawled out of the mystery van.

Babyoda comments on Jun 29, 2019:

Scooby likes.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

Let's not start talking about doggie style right away.

This is a reply I read on FB. It's about gay flag vs. rebel. Who agrees with this?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

After that the rust belt moved to Dixie along with most of aurospace industry. Save your confederate money, *the south has risen again!*

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@dan325 Dixie has Huntsville, AL, where they build the rockets and Florida, where they launch the rockets. When the astronauts had a problem, it wasn't "Detroit, we got got a problem." It was "Houston, we got a problem." You can't trust a Yankee with rocket science. That's why when they needed a fictional super genius, Dr. Sheldon Cooper came from (ahem!) Dixie (Texas). It makes Yankee feel insecure so we prop up their hard feelings with Jeff Foxworthy. It's a **conspiracy**! The Yankees are buying it.

UXORIAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

May be used in the presence of the ultra feminist, just to confuse the poor soul.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@Charlene I've been denied clerical jobs because they clearly thought a man couldn't handle the job.

UXORIAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

May be used in the presence of the ultra feminist, just to confuse the poor soul.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@Charlene >Have an issue with feminists? Those who want equality are trading down.

UXORIAL.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 29, 2019:

May be used in the presence of the ultra feminist, just to confuse the poor soul.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@Marionville Consider yourself to be an ultra feminist?

My thought for the day.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Considering how expensive maple syrup is, I don't want to know what maple liqour costs.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@GwenBFree I've stopped wanting you for your body and started wanting you for your liquid assets. Drop by any time at my fabled estate for martini hour. Disclaimer: I bought a two liter bottle of gin yesterday for $9. My next door neighbor, Dona the mooch, gives it her stamp of approval.

Absolute scum! John Oliver rocks! [youtube.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 27, 2019:

## Reminds me of an old joke. I am god's messenger. What's His message? Give money to His messenger.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@GwenBFree My religious memes are in dire need of sharing with this group.

Sinners=troublemakers in my book.

WayneDalton comments on Jun 28, 2019:

At least we 'sinners know who we are,and can be honest about our foibles

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

Some of us sinners, take notes on the statue of limitations.

For those with a sense of ridiculous.

Haemish1 comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Money buckets Sparrow Stinkalot Doesn’t really inspire fear in my enemies 🤔

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

Makes them stand down wind from you.

My thought for the day.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Considering how expensive maple syrup is, I don't want to know what maple liqour costs.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@GwenBFree I said I didn't want to know. You told me anyway, sending me into sticker shock. I normally buy the bottom shelf liquor, unless I'm mixing up something special. If it's something special, I buy the miniature bottles. Rule of thumb is if a woman wants to drink something expensive, she won't be drinking a liter bottle of it. Have I mentioned I'm a cheap skate before?

Absolute scum! John Oliver rocks! [youtube.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 27, 2019:

## Reminds me of an old joke. I am god's messenger. What's His message? Give money to His messenger.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@GwenBFree You say nice things. I will hand over a fist full of related memes just to get smiling today. It's what I do when Petunia is sleeping in late on a Saturday morning.

Och...OUCH!

EyesThatSmile comments on Jun 29, 2019:

I hope that isn’t real. Were they visiting Florida this year?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

Nothing like visiting the sugar white beaches of the National Seashore (US) between the hours of 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. for that level of sun burn. White reflects the light and causes sun burn twice as fast.

To all of you offensive people out there. We made it to another weekend.. Happy Friday!

brentan comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Try not to. It's giving up on people. And could get you addicted to the bottle. (Go on, tell me that's another reason to be that way).

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 29, 2019:

Why there's always the friendly drunk factor.

TITIVATE.

Charlene comments on Jun 28, 2019:

I need to titivate my new hairdo..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

@aahouck49 I didn't put her name in your Facebook page.

To all of you offensive people out there. We made it to another weekend.. Happy Friday!

SiouxcitySue comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Free speech, baby - no matter how ribald, lascivious and revolting it is.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

Followed by getting banned, slamming your fist on the desk and yelling **I've been thrown out of better places than this!!**

or·rer·y (noun) : an apparatus showing the relative positions and motions of bodies in the solar...

FrayedBear comments on Jun 28, 2019:

I recently watcbed a Vin Diesel sci-fi movie "Pitch Black" which featured an orrery crucial to the script.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

@FrayedBear 'm not sure the trailer shows the orrery. On you tube the trailer has a picture of the orrey for all of a half second.

TITIVATE.

Charlene comments on Jun 28, 2019:

I need to titivate my new hairdo..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

@Marionville If they didn't look so fake, I could use a toupee.

Trump's new name is June Bug. Why?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Because we don't have them in Dixie (instead we have the ravenous "no see-um's" mosquitoes), I had to look up their pictures. They look like flying German cockroaches.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

@TheGreatShadow You got videos of him jacking off? Pictures? Verified witnesses? June bugs are beetles. There are people, i.e. the former governor of New York Nelson Rockefeller, who are fascinated by beetles. Nelson even hired ghost writers to write books about beetles. He can drone on forever about them. If he likes you he'll show you a vast collection of beetles. Then too, I'll bore you beyond tears if the subject of European honey bees ever comes up. Doesn't mean either Nelson or I get a hard on about bugs.

TITIVATE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Once the shorter form became available, tidivate slipped into the quirmire of unused words.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

@Marionville I'm feeling presidential. You have your pardon. Go forth and sin some more. Tidy is a five letter word. Titivate is an eight letter word. Because tidy is shorter word and has fewer syllables, tidy wins.

Trump's new name is June Bug. Why?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Because we don't have them in Dixie (instead we have the ravenous "no see-um's" mosquitoes), I had to look up their pictures. They look like flying German cockroaches.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jun 28, 2019:

@TheGreatShadow There's several videos of June bugs on You Tube, including https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXClc6r5dV4 and a longer version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAOJArb9Y4g