Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

GuyKeith comments on Jan 30, 2019:

One word: Dinkleberries

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@GuyKeith I run with the wrong crowd. They give me baffled looks should I ever refer to a dingleberry. Perchance it's not all that common.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

Nukdookum comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I refold sections to wipe the times with the same section of TP. However I can use like four or five sections because each time I wipe the tp comes away with shit on it. I don't give a crap what the bathroom smells like, I refuse to leave shit on my ass and go back out into public. Perhaps if there ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@Nukdookum The OP says ". . . I have been in public restrooms and . . . ." In other words it doesn't happen EXCLUSIVELY at his home. Additionally, except for janitors nobody gives rats pattotie how much toilet paper is wasted in a public toilet. (Janitors assure me they have problems with toilet paper (TP) theft, including those huge rolls). However, if the author has to buy THEIR OWN TP, it would give them a tizzy fit when they encounter the roll a day user.

Weird, isn't it?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I wonder how many people had sex by mistake. Considering how often I see women posting about the nightmare relationships, it might be most people.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@phxbillcee That's accidental coddling. People who slam into each other first thought isn't "Why don't we screw?" Accidental sex is when one or both parties catching themselves saying "This was a mistake. I didn't MEAN to. I never want to do this again. It was an accident." I'd give an example if I wasn't under contract to write letters to Cosmopolitan magazine editors.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

Pralina1 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Man , I wish I could contribute on this topic , but I got nothing . I am a woman , therefore I don't poop or gas or any similar . Ok . I take this back . Once I farted some glitter that smelled like eucalyptus ?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

In contrast, my triple flutter thunder farts are classified as chemical warfare and my terrifying turds are mistaken for cow flops.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

Nukdookum comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I refold sections to wipe the times with the same section of TP. However I can use like four or five sections because each time I wipe the tp comes away with shit on it. I don't give a crap what the bathroom smells like, I refuse to leave shit on my ass and go back out into public. Perhaps if there ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

There are bidets as well as kits to convert your to toilet into a bidets. CHEAP kits. Find the warehouse size hardware store, head for the plumbing section and ask the clerk to squire you over to bidet section.

How about sharing some love with me today? I want to hit Level 7. Yes, today I'm a points whore.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I made level seven today as well. It seems like a pointless achievement. Do they throw parties for me next? Do the dancing girls show up? Will I get invitations for couch surfing in Cuba? Discount rates at Dutch coffee houses?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@glennlab Tempting offer. It has been many a moon since I visited Dallas. I used to live near Austin and gallivant about the state.

How about sharing some love with me today? I want to hit Level 7. Yes, today I'm a points whore.

glennlab comments on Jan 30, 2019:

You're gonna get this

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

She got that. I got that. What will it all mean?

In my group, &AdultTentCampingHikingDixie I was asking about using a small blimp to take overhead ...

Freedompath comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Maybe your neighbors, would expose themselves to you?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

Deep woods = no roads, poorly marked trails, if they exist. Among overnight hikers one often hears of "man trails." That means no trail and guessing how to get anywhere while pushing the undergrowth aside. For those seeking solitude and good chance of getting hopeless lost, the deep woods are the place to be. I think it's unlikely my neighbors, all of whom are fundamentalist Baptists, would leave home, hunt down my balloon and wave their junk at me. They can do that in front of my home. Why head out into the deep woods to do that? Overall, most Americans hate to walk ANYWHERE. Those doing overnight hikes are a relatively rare breed.

fruit on the tree

bookofmorons comments on Jan 30, 2019:

if it has more than one branch you are probably gonna be ok LOL

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't fork.

Church of Bob said they wanted a word with me.

MissKathleen comments on Jan 30, 2019:

About what?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

He admires my previous varied romantic entanglements and told me I ought to ignore Petunia's demands to be faithful.

Church of Bob said they wanted a word with me.

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 30, 2019:

How'd it go?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

He was disappointed I'm not slacking off more.

Every year I get a bigger tent so I can move around and put more gear inside.

NatureGeek comments on Jan 18, 2019:

This is how I camped in rain-soaked Oregon.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

Looks good to me. It's typical for those who plan to stay at their camp for a few days or months to use the largest tarp they can buy.

Every year I get a bigger tent so I can move around and put more gear inside.

Allena comments on Jan 29, 2019:

My tent is a one man ultralight because I'll be damned if I'm carrying an extra Oz of weight up the side of a mountain.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

I will have to dedicate my book on camping to you. I've given up on women who will carry their own backpack for a romantic over night trip. I have been able to find women who are happy to go glamping with day hikes from the campground. They want big tents and so much supplies that the truck shocks sag. One wanted me to bring a row boat. For details on that story and others, join my group at &AdultTentCampingHikingDixie ONE TIME a gal got fed up with organized campsites and keeled over from the weight of her pack 100 yards from the trail head. I think she went a LITTLE over the edge with a cast iron hibachi. So far, no overnight backpacking trips with a gal. Like you I have what L.L.Bean said was a two person ultra light. It would be ideal for backpacking if the other person doesn't roll over.

One of those things I don't think I'll ever understand.

ShadowAmicus comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Risk? whats the worst that can happen? maybe someone hurts your feelings by telling you to bugger off ... its not usually going to lead to death and destruction.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

Be glad you didn't meet my ex-biz partner, may the patrol board be turning him down now. That guy was a horror tale when it came to affairs. Not too bad when it came to hiding the corpses.

It explains a lot.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Here in Dixie what pulled pork **really** means is cooking a whole pig with the skin on until the meat can be pulled off the bone with a fork.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

@Captnron59 Spicy BBQ sauces reflect a slave culture trying to disguise greasy and undesirable cuts of meat (for example pig ribs). In contrast, in Texas they use more desirable cuts of beef such as brisket and sauce is heresy. Us crazy farts BBQ chicken with a coke can stuck up it's butt.

There is a KOA (Kampgrounds of America) in Florida near Flagler Beach that has a series of canals to...

glennlab comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Another reason to NEVER have food in your tent

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

Leaving the food on the picnic table (most campsites have a picnic table) is one way to lose ALL your food. With human fed alligators a tent dweller IS the food.

What are the temperatures where you are? Here it is -24°F. -51°F with wind chill.

Wildflower comments on Jan 29, 2019:

I'm sorry... but I do NOT miss the cold! Move to Florida people!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

You too can meet hurricanes head on. The average Floridian gets hit by one every five years. Most of the year you'll be steamed alive

It's my cut off point.

MojoDave comments on Jan 29, 2019:

I'm impressed that you were still upright! ?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

Honestly, the only time I drink shots of tequila is on my front porch with my neighbor, Donna. Without exception, my drinking is mostly done at home because I'm cheap. When I'm eating out I MAY order an adult beverage after which Petunia snarls about being the designated driver even if I get just one beer.

It's my cut off point.

Mokvon comments on Jan 29, 2019:

To be fair your front door is not a key less entey. So you should have known better.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

To be fair, when was the last time you darkened my doorstep? As far as you know I have a dragon guarding my door and playing doorman. On that note, on the outskirts of Dale,Texas I knew a family that trusted their pet pig, Florence, and her buds, three bird dogs to guard the door. The dogs looked to Florence to approve all visitors to their home. They never locked the door. I visited them enough to be Florence approved.

I wonder where they put that monument.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

"There are no atheists in foxholes" isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

@powder For a longer and more pointy defense of atheists in foxholes see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVQPlBlOmzo

Whoa. Hold on there.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

I've know that gal. She would show up at on my door stop **ONLY** if the moon was half full and wanning. It's why when I'm outside at night, I always take note of the lunar phrases.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

@Rudy1962 Like most friends, once I'd moved more than an hour's drive away she stopped dropping over.

Does this work for the polar bear club?

glennlab comments on Jan 29, 2019:

No worries, they'll find a place to retreat to, and everyone will think you're a girl until it warms up. lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

Crazy Yankees.

As a child, forced to attend vacation bible school (VBS) I asked about the same question.

MissKathleen comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Children do not get enough credit for their reasoning power...and it is systematically removed from them.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

Ah, shut up 'ya little . . . sums it up. It's more comfortable NOT to answer their questions which disturbs our preconceptions than it is to reply to them.

Apparently J Dahmer didn't think so.

Captnron59 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Tastes like pork!!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

@actofdog Among the few tribes of cannibals left on the planet, humans (normally their POW) are the long pig.

They'll put the hoodoo on you: "Meanwhile, the lights inside Catland have gone out and the ...

Elganned comments on Jan 29, 2019:

The saddest part of all this is that not only do the participants believe (presumably) that it's real, but the Christian protesters *also* believe it's real. Too much Woo in the world...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

>Too much Woo in the world. Judging by the whining I've seen on line, not enough whoopie in the world either. I'm often baffled if someone admits to have a marvelous sex life, it pisses other people off. This message has been sponsored by Sluts'r'us.

We are living in an alternative world...

KKGator comments on Jan 29, 2019:

I can't even with those people.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

If you can't even with those people, do you odd with them? ;-)

Sweet mysteries of life...

Captnron59 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

Married guys won't cheat?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

We're too pure and innocent to do that. Valid rebuttals will be arriving shortly.

I don't think this is quite what she wanted...

MichelleGar1 comments on Jan 29, 2019:

You beat me, I have this meme and was going to post it! Lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

@metalhead222 The early worm gets the bird.

that will do it !

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 28, 2019:

As if the guy is going to list all 200 channels and what's on them.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

@metalhead222 How much you want to beat that a cartoon character is going to break out of his cartoon and start listing cable channels and what is on them? I'll take that bet.

I want to take overhead pictures and worry about crashing the drone.

glennlab comments on Jan 29, 2019:

biggest problem would be very little to no control and possible loss of optical equipment

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

Assuming the rope doesn't break and it's not being flown during a gale force wind, the risk factor ought to be low. Because of my inexperience, I could easily crash the drone or fly it out of its transmission range. That would be more expensive than the loss of a balloon.

I want to take overhead pictures and worry about crashing the drone.

MissKathleen comments on Jan 29, 2019:

No, but wish I had one sometimes..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 29, 2019:

I prefer to go camping in the mountains where cell phone and GPS signals go to die. First time I visited a mountain campground, I clicked on the radio search button on the invalid theory I could find the local NPR station. At the time I was addicted to a weekend radio show, Parrie Home Companion. (NPR has disowned the show since then and does not broadcast old shows). No radio signal. No cell phone signal. No GPS signal. I didn't brother to turn on our battery powered television after that. Many hikers depend on devices like that (not the TV). Therefore if something goes terribly wrong (see photo below) and they get lost, a rescue balloon would be handy. You can buy small blimps that do the same thing with the motto of your choice (for example "Follow us. Bring libations.")

Give it a few years.

glennlab comments on Jan 28, 2019:

Poor taste to post a meme to just get the points for first response IMO.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 28, 2019:

Your opinion is HUMBLE? Confused me.

Aging just sux

Anonbene comments on Jan 28, 2019:

Is today the day I am going to die?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 28, 2019:

@Anonbene Been noticing every time a celebrity your age dies?

Our racist 45 in action!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 28, 2019:

I hadn't heard about that "bunch of rich white kids" getting invited to the White House. Source please.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 28, 2019:

> I was summarizing what I had read. I was asking WHERE you had read it. That's because when I went searching for a source that said the "rich white kids" had been invited to the White House, I couldn't find it. If internet search engines can't find a White House invitation, odds are there hasn't been one. It is abundantly clear from way too many news sources "rich white kids" stared Nathan Phillips, the Omaha native American elder, down ABSOLUTELY NONE of the sources I found said the kids had been invited to the White House. Since nobody has provided a creditable news source that says they were invited to White House and I can't get a creditable answer that they were, I conclude it's a case of their invitation was a true story somebody just made up. Fake news: why I check out more than one source.

Really?? The meme with the lady shooting pool was deleted? SMDH

joeymf86 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I'm not familiar with the meme you are referring to. Why do you think it is being deleted?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 28, 2019:

@phxbillcee While I agree with you, the suggestion was all the guys OUGHT to turn around and stare at her butt in the air like they just don't care. Since they weren't objectifying women, like they ought to . . . Ergo my crude theory, must have been a pig fucker that banned it. We know what that leads to:

Sometimes it seems to take forever to get a charcoal fire going and that's why I got an old rusty ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 27, 2019:

This camping hint has been brought to you by the character "tool girl" on the show Home Improvement, not one pictured below. She couldn't get the part.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@Pbpierson2 We're all normal until we get to know one another.

Ginger or Mary Anne?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Ginger has the a larger selection of outfits than Mary Ann.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@Haemish1 Same story for Mrs. Howell. They had a freaking genius with them that could make a radio out of two coconuts but couldn't fix the boat. If they were went on a three hour tour, how could the coast guard miss a boat washed up on a nearby island? Every week for YEARS somebody found the island and kept mum about the "cast aways." If total strangers found the island, why couldn't the coast guard? The artistic license was out the wazzo.

Take a look at my little friend.... -Scarface Misquoted lol

MerlinZap comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Dog,...I'd marry the one on the right,.....that face, yes, I've married for beauty. Haven't we all?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

First wife I married because of lower taxes, lower car insurance, better credit rating and she could shred a condom without using her hands. After I'd checked out her sex drive I didn't care what was in her head. I SHOULD have cared. We were married for two years. I missed two years of prime time television because of her blow jobs and upside down cowgirl. Her parents hated me.

Bridget Bardot in her prime

John-Paul comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Yeah, I am going to call this out as a fake, for a few reasons. Head and neck look slightly smaller than should be, and the face is in different focus than the body. I think I found the source image, not a nude, easy to rotate and manipulate the histogram to match the skin tones on the body. The ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

Photo retouching seems to be a standard, especially in women's beauty products.

Exotic beauty

John-Paul comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Interesting, "Exotic" because she is black?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@Squirrel Looks like another gringo to me, not one those hot babes from South Africa.

Love us ALL some more Betty?

Robecology comments on Jan 27, 2019:

She was decades ahead of her time. Died in relative obscurity; many profited from her pictures...she didn’t. A material girl long before Madonna, Page was a 1950s pinup/porn model who emerged from the wilds of Tennessee to achieve a brief, X-rated notoriety - and to inspire such revisionist ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

I remember a Playboy interview with her in a previous century. They asked her why she'd dropped out of sight. She said her looks were going and she needed to get out of the business while the getting was good. With that a gasp goes up from the assembled masses: "Gasp, he read the interviews?"

Washing your monkey makes it happier.

Rudy1962 comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Waxing my monkey makes me happy

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

I shouldn't believe it but I do.

Bet it's loaded.. with meat.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jan 27, 2019:

I'd eat there lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

If you go, find out if they're full of cheesy goodness, hot and dripping before you swallow. It's always been difficult not to grin like a mule eating briars when I buy 7-11's Big Gulp sodas.

I bought these.

MojoDave comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Why is she taking off your glasses and her clothes?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@BudFrank I didn't send off for the X-ray specs because I'm seriously cheap and I started asking the how could they possibly WORK?

I bought these.

MojoDave comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Why is she taking off your glasses and her clothes?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

. . . well before legalization in any state! They have some dirt cheap flights from here to Bolder, CO for wilder weekends than I having in South Carolina.

Wishful thinking or just pleasantly surprised.

phoenixone1 comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Nothing to see here folks. Keep scrolling???Elf on a shelf goes BEAST mode???

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

Pity I only whip these out during December.

Are you a bitch according to Madonna's definition? Are you tough, ambitious and know what you want?

MarvelAnn comments on Jan 27, 2019:

That's fucking bitch to you!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

The best kind.

Been there.

phxbillcee comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Did they actually come up on the sidewalk? I would think that would be a total no-no!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

Typically when the cars and trucks come too close to the bike lane they will jump on the side walks. However it's often for NO REASON AT ALL. The Dutch operate for their own reasons, alien to us gringos. Therefore travel guru Rick Steves advises American not to rent bicycles.

It's about the comma.

phxbillcee comments on Jan 27, 2019:

.........................

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

Your = pronoun that refers to the reader or listener. For example "is this your dog?" You're = contraction of "you" and "are." Example: "You are [you're] a dog." Both sound identical, thus making the your/you're a common grammatical error.

If you're living in Canada next month . . .

bookofmorons comments on Jan 27, 2019:

good recommendation in any season

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

Especially during the cuffing season with rotational partners.

[youtu.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 27, 2019:

I need to start baking the quiche. Already had my yellow stone ground cheese grits with an eight ounce ounce mug of hot, brain rattling, espresso. Now I can face up to washing last night's dishes. "I'm in love with a man with dish pan hands," says Petunia.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@Cutiebeauty Whenever Petunia cooks the clean up is massive. The sink overflows. Last night she made a spectacularly bad gumbo. She even had a failure with ALMOST idiot proof "success rice" to serve with the gumbo. One clue why the sink overflows is when she asked me for a SECOND pair of kitchen sheers. She wasn't going to clean the FIRST one after she'd used it. She used SIX of our largest serving bowls for a one pot meal. Just the two of us. I do my best to keep her from cooking. It works 98% of the time. I've yet to have her clean up the kitchen. We've got enough left over mouth searing gumbo I could give you to take home for a family gathering because she NEVER cooks a SMALL amount. She avoids eating her left overs.

I bought these.

MojoDave comments on Jan 27, 2019:

Why is she taking off your glasses and her clothes?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

She's not. She's taking off my x-ray specs. Quicker story: It's joke, me bucko. For the guilty bystanders: one of the great scams of comic books was an ad for x-ray glasses. They mislead many a horny pre-teen into sending them money. The other scam was sea monkeys. For a laugh riot on comic book scams, sea monkeys and x-ray specs, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8ujVy0PVk

You can take the girl from the South but you can't take the Southern cookin from the girl.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

>you can't take the Southern cookin from the girl. You haven't eaten Petunia's cooking. That woman has burned boiled potatoes. My first wife tried to deep fat fry stew.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@SaucyCheryl All is forgiven. Go forth and sin some more. Hope you have an early recovery. I suspect the lion's share of the fast food industry is fueled by people who either don't want to cook or do it badly if at all.

You can take the girl from the South but you can't take the Southern cookin from the girl.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

>you can't take the Southern cookin from the girl. You haven't eaten Petunia's cooking. That woman has burned boiled potatoes. My first wife tried to deep fat fry stew.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 27, 2019:

@SaucyCheryl Your syntax confuses me. I've had my share of women drop over because they can't make a home cooked meal. One memorable evening Vamosing Verlene and her friend Suzi dropped over unannounced. Cocktails were poured but I wasn't planning to cook them anything until Verlene said "You might have to sleep with him, but his famous fried rice is worth it." It was a memorable evening. I think my fried rice is over rated but why should I argue with a billing like that? It was a less memorable evening tonight because Petunia tried to make instant gumbo. It's a long simmering stew and she had a heavy hand with the red pepper flakes. It was watery. She didn't make a rue. It wasn't entirely her fault. She was trying a new recipe from a cookbook. She tried to make amends by adding under cooked "success" brown rice. Ever seen boil in a bag "success rice"? It for people who can't measure rice with a measuring cup and can't stand over a pot of boiling rice, stirring frequently. When Petunia was single, she ate out almost every night unless it was a nuke it and eat it meal.

Hello cup cake.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I go to all the wrong bakeries.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@Pbpierson2 After you tried to fuck it, you'd realize it was a mistake unless someone tried to lick your tasty bits afterwards.

Really?? The meme with the lady shooting pool was deleted? SMDH

joeymf86 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I'm not familiar with the meme you are referring to. Why do you think it is being deleted?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@Rudy1962 When I first signed up here at level zero, it was common for my post/memes to get deleted. I never got a reason for it and never found out who was responsible. After I reached level three, the random deletions stopped.

Love you some more Betty? I'm addicted,...you?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

Um . . . no. She died at age 85 back in 2011.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@MerlinZap Her corpse has got to be in bad shape now. Care for a slice of cake?

[dailykos.com] Sign if you agree no more government shutdowns ever. Thank you.

BobbyJaan comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I don't think there's gonna be another shutdown for quite some time. Pelosi basically left him dead in a ditch and it's gonna take a long time for him to claw his way out, what with those tiny hands and all.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

Golly Wally, Trump has a learning curve?

Love you some more Betty? I'm addicted,...you?

GuyKeith comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I prefer Wilma to Betty. [Two comments, one visible...the ridiculous specter of mindless Blocking strikes again]

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

Arg, me captain, thar be foursomes sighted.

@HippieChick58 Let me know if this is any good. [newschannelnebraska.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

Pretty much Stormy Daniels wandered into town on a book tour and said "Dam. This is Omaha." Yep.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@FrayedBear As H.L.Melkin said "Anything you can say about America is true." We 'un's crazy farts we is.

7 Takeaways From The Longest Shutdown In U.

Freedompath comments on Jan 26, 2019:

I wondered about number 4...what might it be??

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

Marshall law that doesn't end.

I plan something special every Sunday morning, not to replace church, but to take advantage of the ...

bookofmorons comments on Jan 26, 2019:

good idea - enjoy the peace and quiet while you can lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

When I was a child in Pensacola, Sunday meant no traffic while I was riding my bicycle. Except for a drug store and a downtown pool hall, nothing was open. Got good at pool.

The Trump Tax Cut: Your Personal Guide to the New Tax Law Anyone heard of this shit?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

Meh. There is an ungodly long list of tax loop holes that a person can find taking a course in taxes. It all involves an ungodly ton of book keeping. There does come a point the tax auditor sees a door stopper tome of documentation and figures that's too much reading for them. Honest. My ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@TheGreatShadow I met the owner of Marker's Mark because he was taking a tax deduction to go deep sea fishing. He delivered a lecture at the local Hilton about distilling his bourbon and thus made the trip a tax deductible business expense. I used to know a photographer who sold pictures of naked women to men's magazines. To find attractive women who would bare all for a buck, he wrote off the cover charge at the strip clubs along with any two drink minimums. Recruiting fees, you know?

Looks like we're doing HRC memes!

daylily comments on Jan 26, 2019:

Don't get it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

I could explain it to you for $9.95; shipping and handling not included.

@HippieChick58 Let me know if this is any good. [newschannelnebraska.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 26, 2019:

Pretty much Stormy Daniels wandered into town on a book tour and said "Dam. This is Omaha." Yep.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 26, 2019:

@TheGreatShadow Click on the poster's link. You too will be disappointed with the lack of details. What happens to celebrities once they become instant celebrities (i..e. Stormy Daniels) is a publisher hires a ghost writer to write their book and sends the celebrity on tour to sign books. They never send the ghost writer.. Every new town the celebrity hits, the local media gives them FREE advertising that sells their book. This story about Storm in Omaha has been yet another example.

Hi Everyone.

sbboudreau61 comments on Jan 25, 2019:

Damn so many people getting divorced. I’m going through a separation/divorce/separation. We’re going to stay married for now for finances. 34 years bu buy. Amazing how one day things felt ok, not great or very good and the next you’re hit with divorce. What a blindside that was. Thought for ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

I keep telling my temporary spouse that should I die, kick me off the side of shrimp boat. They can have a party on board and nobody gets to dance on my grave.

you're not that bad!

dartagnan6666 comments on Jan 25, 2019:

Now he's missing out on all that exercise his lungs would be getting if he had blown it up the old fashioned way.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

Oh piffly poo! It means he's too cheap to buy an air pump. When was the last time you inflated a bicycle tire with your lungs?

you're not that bad!

MissKathleen comments on Jan 25, 2019:

Does that make him a scumbag?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

It makes him indiscreet and possibly in dire need of a patch kit.

Who knew? [answers.yahoo.com]

GuyKeith comments on Jan 25, 2019:

This is why we have Donald Trump as President. 25% of Americans think the sun revolves around the Earth. 45% believe in ghosts and only 17% of Americans can locate Afghanistan on a map. Americans rank next to last, only to Mexico, in geographic literacy. I would imagine they are DEAD last in ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

There are two things that are in unlimited supply: stupidity and hydrogen. At times I wonder about the hydrogen.

[youtu.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 25, 2019:

I am waiting for Petunia to arise before I start banging pots. It's her day to sleep in. Her super power would be sleeping in if it wasn't for her arch nemeis having to pee. When she gets up, it's likely she'll want a bowl of pumpkin spice oatmeal and a black cup of coffee. I'm considering a bowl ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

@Cutiebeauty Update: Petunia didn't want oatmeal for breakfast. Instead she had Cheerios. I found she'd left about two ounces of white wine in her glass from last night. I used it to make cheese sauce and poured it over a four day old biscuit for breakfast. It was second cousin to fondue. After Percy FINALLY polished off his can of Big Lot's ocean fish and tuna cat food, I opened up the non-discount version. It cost ten cents more at Walmart. He almost inhaled it. Big Lot version not so much. Prior to that, he had to run up to Petunia to get his six tiny kitty treats. He goes into high "feed me" mew mode until he jumps up in her recliner, gets a hug (he hates hugs but he'll sell out for a six second hug) and got his appetizer. Before he gets a hug, I got a hug from Petunia. She never offers me an appetizer. :-( I reward her hug with a cup of freshly brewed black coffee. Today's morning lesson: get better wine, feed the cat the good stuff.

Who else relates to this??

glennlab comments on Jan 25, 2019:

In winter, much more than summer.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

@Sheannutt I live in Dixie, where the winters are mild and the summers are brutally hot and humid. Roofers drink five gallons of water at work and wonder why they don't need to pee. We're exact opposites.

Rock on....

KKGator comments on Jan 25, 2019:

I may be a sarcastic smart ass, BUT, while I WILL talk shit to your face, I will NEVER talk shit behind your back. :D

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

A proverb here in is Dixie is "Don't give shit. Don't take shit. Not in the shit business." Doesn't apply to me. I've bought it by the truckload and shoveled it out of the truck. I make mulch. It's what us gardeners do. I know my shit.

[youtu.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 25, 2019:

I am waiting for Petunia to arise before I start banging pots. It's her day to sleep in. Her super power would be sleeping in if it wasn't for her arch nemeis having to pee. When she gets up, it's likely she'll want a bowl of pumpkin spice oatmeal and a black cup of coffee. I'm considering a bowl ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

@Soarfeet Visit my group at &AdultTentCampingHikingDixie and do tell. I have been running it for a few weeks and need more members. Therefore, I've been telling tales to tell around the campfire. Petunia wants us to run away to Dahlonega for their rental yurts. I think they have a winery there and the tourist trap "pan for gold" semi-scam. A person buys a bucket of mud with a WHOLE fleck of gold in it. If you find it and sneeze, it'll blow away. If the owners of that scam find a nugget in that mud, you won't get it. Most of those kind of places will sell a fleck of gold in a bottle so you won't have to pan for it.

I worry about being ship wrecked here.

phxbillcee comments on Jan 24, 2019:

I'd much rather get stranded on a dessert island than a desert island!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

@phxbillcee What happens after reaching level seven? Do dancing girls whisk you away to Vegas and coat their nipples with chocolate syrup?

I worry about being ship wrecked here.

Livinlife comments on Jan 24, 2019:

Maybe someday there will be a chips and dip Isle.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

They'd have something to wash it all down. This reminds me of an old dirty joke. (You have been warned). Two Swedes are fishing in a boat. One of them hooks onto a magic lamp and hauls it on board. He rubs it and a genie tells them he'll grant ONE wish. The Swed says "I wish the ocean was beer." Zap! An ocean of beer. "You idiot," says the other Swed. "Now we got to pee in the boat."

In organized campgrounds I pay attention people who depart at crack of dawn.

Pbpierson2 comments on Jan 25, 2019:

I loved that story..?...but the enemy of the bladder equation quickly focused my attention to the consequences of consuming too many beers in short lapses of time ,and the perils it brings..That being said, there will never again be a good night, once one begins the infamous hike down the "Miller ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 25, 2019:

@Pbpierson2 Warning: One must pee quietly, and deep into the woods, enough away from camp, so not to remind her that she's married to an arguabily questionable alcoholic. These days we put up a huge tent with enough room for a pot to piss in because our favorite camping area (Smoky Mountains National Park) is a rain forest. Top of the list of things Petunia doesn't want to do is cop a squat in the woods during a thunderstorm in the middle of the night. Thar's bears out there! The tent also comes with a divider wall so nobody has to watch the potty action or like whatever dude. I'm too jaded to put up the divider wall. As a young impressionable teenager, my father and I were cooped up in tent at night during a thunderstorm. Dear old dad, always wanting to leave a good example, hung his dick out the tent and let it fly out the door. It was dark. Nobody watching. A former (RIP?) told me she'd rather pee in the woods than take the quarter mile hike to the campground public toilet. Jean used to brag she only drank two gallons of vodka a week. Each member of the Lewis and Clark had about two gallons to last them two years. Back then, one of keys of military campaigns was bring enough booze that when it was gone the troops were too far away from home to call it quits without pillage. After that first pot of morning espresso, I start rambling.

Just out jim acosta cnn won suite against trump over taking his press credentials der Donald lost ...

OldGoat43 comments on Jan 24, 2019:

Please explain a little bit.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

At a White House press conference, Accosta insisted on asking follow up questions that Trump was ignoring. When Accosta persisted an intern tried unsuccessfully to remove Accosta's microphone. After that, Trump ordered that Accosta would not be allowed in White House press conferences. Because of a court ruling, Accosta is allowed back in White House press conferences. I am assuming Trump will continue to ignore questions from him. For more details, see: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/16/business/media/cnn-acosta-trump.html

Why would anyone vote against recreational marijuana?

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 24, 2019:

Last year, in Alabama, that deep red, Trump state, a number of farmers got caught trying to circumvent the strictest immigration laws in the U.S. because the crops were rotting in the fields. No one will pick them- take note farm labor need note be paid minimum wage in all cases and never has to ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

>take note farm labor need note . . . They need "not." Trump supporters don't the believe story behind Alabama's lack of farm workers. Side issue: Alabama schools were encouraged to turn in illegals who sent their children to public school. One legislation we need is a farmer worker's recruitment plan in Mexico because most Americans won't do stoop farm work 12 to 14 hours a day, no minimum wage, no overtime, no benefits. Down at the local farmer's market, the farmers complain about the local citizenry that will do farm work partly because the legals take breaks without asking for a break, partly because they won't show up on day two and won't work as hard as the illegals. After hour two of picking strawberries, I'll quit. This is one reason there are so many "you pick" farms around me.

I have a plan. Not a good plan.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 24, 2019:

Thought I'd show this meme the next time someone asks "What happened to Bob, your previous kitty?"

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@phxbillcee I keep trying to tag you with a laughing emoticon but the system keeps deleting it. My insignificant other (aka temporary spouse) promises me our current cat, Percy, will be our last cat. She prefers little yappy dogs. "Food doesn't taste the same without cat hair." -- John Arbuckle, Garifield's human.

I worry about being ship wrecked here.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 24, 2019:

Just 'cause I pointlessly need the double points.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@phxbillcee Unless you're an Aussie at home today.

Gay married mayor of South Bend runs for president. [msn.com]

jerry99 comments on Jan 24, 2019:

Big deal! We already have a gay married governor in Colorado.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@Elganned I am having a senior moment, remembering back when having a Catholic POTUS was unthinkable. That was followed by "A Black one? Are you yanking my chain?" We'll be having a gay cross dressing Voodoo priestess for our first lady who is married to six husbands if the planet survives long enough. Now for something totally different:

I use to put food on top of ice, frequently draining the ice chest.

MissKathleen comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I do the same thing, but with the small bottles. Makes it easier to fit things in. They do defrost faster than the larger bottles.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

I use the smaller bottles of ice in the car's cup holder. As I'm driving down the road, I nervously drink the ice melt. Petunia is a back seat drive who sits up front and gives me a running commentary. It's annoying and makes me nervous. Mountain hairpin curves freaks her out. One time it freaked her out so much on Paris Mountain, SC, she announced she was going to close her eyes. As I spun around a tight curve I said "Wheeeee!!" That terrorized her. NO UNAUTHORIZED HAPPINESS!!!

Make America Great Again

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

When Trump was asked what period of America he considered it great, his response was the era of Thomas Edison around the time Edison developed a cheap light bulb. To ward off the nit pickers, Edison DIDN'T INVENT the light bulb. He made them affordable and developed an electric company for those...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 24, 2019:

@19dacar52 I'm a fan of Timothy Leary's brother, Bleary Leary.

How to Destroy our Country! [huffingtonpost.com]

of-the-mountain comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Yes! But trump did not think this up it is by the wealthy and their corporations which like Putin and his oligarchs are creating this chaos to destroy those which have or did the authority to destroy them!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@of-the-mountain Sigh. On line any political group a person doesn't like gets called "fascist." When I ask them to DEFINE what a fascist is, they always miss the boat. It's the 21st century version of calling the politically unpopular "communists" or "gay."

MSNBC : have they become the Democrat's Faux News ???

AntaresRose comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I would not care. Time to eliminate 45 in anyway possible.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

"Anyway possible"? So when did you become a sharp shooter?

MSNBC : have they become the Democrat's Faux News ???

TheGreatShadow comments on Jan 23, 2019:

I usually go off of PBS or NPR.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

I get more details on the news from NPR.

Make America Great Again

OldGoat43 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

There were only a few times in my life that I truly believed that America was great. That was before the corruption of modern day politics took over.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@OldGoat43 Individual tribes considered themselves nation states, just like Europeans countries. There's no United States of Europe either.

Jesus and Mo are back again !

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

People simply follow the scriptures they LIKE and ignore the scriptures they don't like, cherry picking past the sell your daughters option.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@VAL3941 I've met some slutty tattooed daughters who ought have been marked down to 10 pieces of silver, although I don't want to OWN one. Now a word about Wednesday:

Well...staying away from redheads didn't last long....

Pbpierson2 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

You'all are corrupting my ass with this group

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Here's a Smoker's Dating group, just created- &kissanashtray

of-the-mountain comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Up in smoke to me! I do not smoke! A group all lit up!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

When asked if I smoke, my standard responses is "I leave tobacco alone." One person in 50 asks the NEXT question: what do you smoke? While in Amsterdam, I also visited most of their art museums between coffee houses. Petunia complained that their coffee houses have awful coffee and nothing for breakfast. She doesn't smoke ANYTHING. Once departing the coffee house with a proper glaze and a hash brownie to go, I would spend too much time in their art museums admiring the Dutch masters.

One woman told me she wanted to go backpacking with me, using her Rottweiler to carry her pack.

Pbpierson2 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

That was terrific! Quite entertaining to be exact. However it was kind of a sad ending. You didn't get to climb up into that 'rockstar' after all😏...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

I was hoping to go for an overnight backpacking trip on the Smoky Mountain National Park's Charles Bunion Trail. In my book (Happy Campers and Other Tall Tales) I mentioned "There are ridge runner sort of hikes from this point [New Foundland Gap], most notably Charles Bunion Trail, which was named for the similarity between hiker Charles Conner’s sore bunion and a bare rock. It’s the only thing that ever will make Charles famous." I wanted it to be an overnight trip so I wouldn't wind up getting blisters and bunions. Other people tell me they make the Charles Bunion trail a day hike. Because I'm a fat asthmatic, anything over 6,000 feet makes me gasp for breath and move slowly along the trail. I didn't want to be stuck out on the trail in the dark with dead batteries in my head lamp. I wanted a gal that can carry her own supplies and her dog was going to be her pack animal. Park won't let people bring their dogs on the trail. One of their lodges is supplied by the park's alpaca train. They also have bridal paths but they're not for overnight trips. I used to say I wanted a lusty woman with a strong back for overnight backpacking trips but I'm willing to settle for a lusty woman with a pack animal. An alpaca would do.

[youtu.

FrayedBear comments on Jan 23, 2019:

What time are you now?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

On my side of the planet we wind up asking Aussies which day is it. Here on the eastern standard time zone in the US, it's Wednesday, eight in the morning.

[youtu.

Haemish1 comments on Jan 23, 2019:

Good luck getting back to the city! My daughter is back at school in Poghkeepsie and got her car dug out yesterday (I think she’ll be looking to buy a shovel now:)

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

When I lived in NW Florida, my neighbor kept a snow shovel nailed on the wall inside her garage to remind her what she was doing in Florida.

New group! Online Dating: The Reality Come tell your stories, give and receive advice, and ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

With one exception, all my on line dates turned into instant affairs. The exception was in chronic ill health. A woman who feels deathly ill is unlikely to get horny. She'll get lonesome. Mostly, I run into women on line who read what I write and want to hear more from me in person. I don't try to...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 23, 2019:

@ProudMerrie Not everyone gets my jokes. I was using a Wellism. It consists of three parts: a proverb or saying, a speaker, and a literal explanation. The point of a Wellism is make fun of clichés and proverbs by showing that they are wrong in certain situations. I stole it from Sam Weller, a character in Charles Dicken's first novel The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club (better known as the Pickwick Papers). It's also a fine old literary tradition: if you got to steal, steal from the best. Warning: I also use euphemisms. They are coded expressions i.e. "Whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn't sink mine."

New group! Online Dating: The Reality Come tell your stories, give and receive advice, and ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

With one exception, all my on line dates turned into instant affairs. The exception was in chronic ill health. A woman who feels deathly ill is unlikely to get horny. She'll get lonesome. Mostly, I run into women on line who read what I write and want to hear more from me in person. I don't try to...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@ProudMerrie "To each his own," said the old lady who kissed the cow.

This is just about right

Infoguy211 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

And put Congressional Teathugliscums on the Federal minimum wage.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Wouldn't help. As a generally rule members of congress are multi-millionaires. They can skip a year's paychecks without bouncing checks.

Anastasia Vashukevich, aka Nastya Rybka, the Russian model.

Cutiebeauty comments on Jan 22, 2019:

She's very purty lol ill lol

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Photos of her are typically retouched. Candid photos are another story

New group! Online Dating: The Reality Come tell your stories, give and receive advice, and ...

IrishTxJudy comments on Jan 22, 2019:

We all have our stories

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 22, 2019:

>We all have our stories Mine read like Letters to the Cosmo Editor.

How to Destroy our Country! [huffingtonpost.com]

of-the-mountain comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Yes! But trump did not think this up it is by the wealthy and their corporations which like Putin and his oligarchs are creating this chaos to destroy those which have or did the authority to destroy them!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 22, 2019:

He didn't need help; he's sticking to a plan that is commonly rejected (build the wall) even if undermines his time in office.

Back in my hometown of Pensacola, FL, all the street preachers came from a Pensacola Christian ...

OrsonZedd comments on Jan 21, 2019:

I've always had the feeling that this is a super effective way of actually getting converts

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Ashapenia!! Ah's drove by a screaming guy waving a Bible on a street corner. Why ah's thing 'cause of that, ah's agoing to commit to JEZZUS! RIGHT!