1
1 Like Show
1
1 Like Show
1
1 Like Show

Optimally I'd be working as a software QA analyst and technical writer, but cheap offshore labor has made that difficult to find lately. So at present I work as a science demonstrator and field trip leader for a children's museum. I'm an avid bicycle rider and regularly go for 40-70 mile rides, and other hobbies include astronomy, magic, day hikes, swimming, and plotting to take over the world and fix everything wrong with it. Politically I'm very liberal and oppose everything Trump stands for. On a more personal level, I enjoy helping people, teaching people new things, and trying new things and foods.

Full Bio

Comments

Anyone else worry about STI's (STD's) Over 50's are the fastest growing age group for infections!!
chilehead9 comments on Sep 24, 2018:
Like your doctor?
do what you have to do...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 24, 2018:
Not what, but who.
These are questions for the Ladies: Do you like to be pursued by someone you're interested in? ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 24, 2018:
I'd prefer they just say what's on their mind, as long as they don't do more than border on the inappropriate, especially when the definition of inappropriate changes based on the setting and how the conversation is progressing.
Yes I'm stealing this from Family Feud. What's the most kissable part of your body?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 24, 2018:
I can't really rank them, especially considering how long it's been since they have been.
I love Autumn Man! [theonion.com]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 24, 2018:
I wonder if Autumn Man is related to Florida Man - that odd super hero that keeps making the news.
Why don’t victims of rape report? Gee, my toddler grandkids reported the discomfort they felt when...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 24, 2018:
A lot of young people also don't report because they don't realize that something wrong was going on, or they feel that they'll get in trouble for it. I was abused when I was 5 or 6 and didn't realize anything out of the ordinary had happened until I was about to graduate high school. Of course, both families had long ago moved away from the street where we lived around the time I was 7 or 8, and no contact at all in the intervening decade, so no easy way to follow up with that sort of thing. That, and it would be my word against the two brothers (perhaps 3 of the 4 in that family?) that committed the abuse. This year my family is going through the other side of that situation - the extended family got together at my mom's for a pool party and barbecue, and my cousin announces after dinner that his 4 year old daughter said my 12 year old nephew tried abusing her in the guest bedroom during the only 5 minute period of the day that both of them weren't in sight of other family members. Said guest bedroom was the only place with a view into the neighbor's back yard, and they had a very vocal turkey as a pet. My nephew is still really clueless about anything/everything regarding sex, and his only interests in life currently involve an XBox (the video game, get your mind out of the gutter). And some of the details included in the description of the abuse that my cousin claims are described by his daughter are things that even I didn't have a clue about until I was in college and after I had lost my virginity. Needless to say, police were called right away, and it boiled down to a case of "he said, she said" because there was no physical evidence of anything found at the time, and while the police were very belligerent, they also did nothing beyond calling people names. Needless to say, the two halves of the family have for the most part stopped talking to each other, and I'm not looking forward to seeing how the logistics of Christmas with the family will go down this year. My personal theory is that she WAS abused, but by a different person at a different time - and considering that this cousin is the only part of the family that goes to Catholic church every week... you can connect the lines there.
Do you like holding hands or holding their arm? (locking arms) Im not a fan of holding hands but...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 23, 2018:
I'm fine with either, or any physical contact my partner is comfortable with.
Kale, A Welsh Gypsy.
chilehead9 comments on Sep 23, 2018:
I got zero hits for that when searching for the definition of Kale, but I did turn this up when I searched for "a welsh gypsy": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kale_(Welsh_Romanies) So it's a very obscure use of the word.
Which would you pick: being world-class attractive, a genius or famous for doing something great?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 23, 2018:
I'll have to go with the one that I don't already have checked off: being famous for doing something great.
The Cat in the Hat on Aging ???
chilehead9 comments on Sep 23, 2018:
That's why I really want SENS http://www.sens.org/ and Calico https://www.calicolabs.com/ to be successful in their endeavors.
Is there anything you can't or won't do before you have your coffee in the. Morning?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 23, 2018:
Offering me coffee is a great way to pick a fight.
Saturday fill in the blank. Kissing my ex was like kissing a.....
chilehead9 comments on Sep 22, 2018:
Slowly cooling, petulant corpse.
This could be bad... [zdnet.com]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 22, 2018:
Normally it takes an organization like Equifax to do something so egregiously insecure and unprofessional, but I guess there's slimeballs in more than just the financial services sector.
I live in Texas where Beto O'Rourke is in a tight race against Ted Cruz for Senate. Just watched ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 22, 2018:
I'm hoping he wins, the whole country will be better off with Cruz out of office.
I hope no one actually feels like this!
chilehead9 comments on Sep 22, 2018:
Only pretty much every day.
What is the best side of the bed?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
The top side. It's too stuffy under.
Hi all-Yesterday celebrated my birthday again in NH with Rivka Thoms, Our_existence and my ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
I hope you had a great time, didn't do anything I wouldn't do, and probably didn't do anything I WOULD do.
Let's Have Some Fun - Pick 2 Pills
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
1 or 6, and 7
Would you read it? ?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
Only if the future part of it could be changed.
Has anyone done speed dating? Is it worth it? How much can you get in a five minute chat?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
The hard part is finishing the intercourse in that time, as well as the conversation. I'm kidding, it just made a funny picture in my head.
Are there any sports or activities you're embarrassing bad at?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
Dancing. Every time I try, I do fine for a minute or three, and suddenly have no idea what my arms and legs should do next. It doesn't help that I lose all ability to hear anything in a room with loud music, like most clubs/dance places have. I suspect it's a result of an old head injury, but once the music volume reaches a certain level I am effectively deaf.
Which of the four seasons do you consider to be the most romantic?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
Yes.
I joined Match yesterday and got two suspicious messages. The first made me wonder. Then another ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 21, 2018:
Who TF is ok with relatives looking over their shoulder while they're browsing prospective mates on a dating site? Even if it wasn't a scam, that raises all kinds of red flags with me regarding boundary issues, independence, and maturity.
If you're a reader or someone who thinks too much, is that a requirement for dates? I've ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 18, 2018:
I contend there's no such thing as someone that thinks too much, just people who think too little, or people who stop thinking when they start acting.
Why do, some, women expect to pay their debts with sex? Please let me explain. Few years back I pay...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
There are some people who consider being with them (in any of several ways) as a form of currency. Some see it as prostitution, others don't. It's often done in a sexist way (as in, her having sex with you is you receiving something of value, but you having sex with her is not the reverse), and it's carried over in similar forms into dating: (I'm venturing into a minefield here...) I've seen dating profiles where someone will put it right out in front: "Take me someplace nice for our first date, and it better not be someplace cheap. I'm worth more than that." I think this is a holdover from the 40s/50s (and earlier) mentality, where men are the "breadwinners" and "providers" in a relationship, and women are the "homemakers". The expectation is that the men bring in all the money in the relationship, and the women are there to provide sex on demand, and do all the cooking and cleaning. It was the only way women were allowed to pay for things or contribute. That was understandable in bygone eras (I say *understandable*, but that doesn't mean I agree with it or think it was the right way to do things), when women were not allowed to earn money the conventional way, or have much in the way of self-determination, and when it was possible for the overwhelming majority of families to do well on one person's income. But it doesn't really fly in the society we live in currently - where two incomes isn't always enough. And we're having a really difficult time purging our society of the remnants of those ways of treating women. The most recent girlfriend I did the breaking up with had developed a similar train of thought - I told her going in that I'd help her get back on her feet (she'd just lost her job and her previous roommate demanded she move out), but that she'd need to at least be looking for a job while I was helping her afford career training, and I wanted her to have her own source of money. After a year this suddenly devolved into "I'm sleeping with you, so I should be getting some cash or be added to your bank account." The opposite of the expectations I'd explicitly set at the beginning of the relationship, and one of several reasons I ended the relationship.
When you are out and about and come across someone you find attractive. What do you speculate and ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
If they will smile back, whether they are wearing a ring, and how they react to an unexpected funny comment.
If your date or partner were sleeping, and you were there alarm clock, how would you go about waking...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
Razzberry to the stomach.
Boyfriend or Girlfriend ? ??
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmShW4vHgpw
Are you afraid that AI, when it will be advanced enough, will take us over, or we're going to be ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
I suspect that when AI arrives, it will be part of us - so it can't/won't wipe us out because that would be self-inclusive.
Good evening folks, I am Carl from Cincinnati
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
Hello Carl
Congrats to the Dallas Cowboys on their victory over the Giants
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
Is this one of those roller derby things?
Would you ride o on the back of an elephant in the jungle of Africa? Would you scuba dive the great ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
As opposed to dying on a tropical island?
If you are lucky enough be a pet owner, do you let them share your bed with you and maybe a ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
Only when they want to.
Follow-up question...What do you think is appropriate dress for a date? What about a first ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 17, 2018:
I'll make a special effort to keep the clothes with holes in them to a minimum, and the clothes should fit the venue. Most important to me is that we're both comfortable to be who we are.
Why do guys just hang around in their boxers? I dated a guy for just over a year and every time I ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 15, 2018:
I might do that, if the temperature/weather lends itself to it, and if THERE IS NO ONE ELSE AROUND and there's little to no chance of someone coming over. Considering how often the weather complies, and the chances of anyone being around, this works out to perhaps 2 hours a day, 2 days a year, tops.
Oh. My. Word. Straights don’t have gay sex?!? [friendlyatheist.patheos.com]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 15, 2018:
This is one of the reasons why I'm not willing to put up with overly religious people in my life these days: they just make shit up about people they don't personally like, claim god backs them up, and expect everyone else to accept it as obviously true. They don't seem to mind that all of the facts contradict their bloviating.
If your mating call sound like an animal, what animal would it sound like?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 14, 2018:
https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/weirdest-superb-lyrebird
How has it made you feel when you found out your former partner remarried just a few months after ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I don't know for sure that they did get married, but honestly, I couldn't devise a more perfect revenge for my ex wife or the "friend" of ours that she ran off with, than for them to get married. The last update I got from a mutual friend is that they are now living in New Mexico with her mother (that she refused to even live in the same state with when we were together), and taking care of said mother because she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. And he did something with the car window that ended up tearing some of the tendons in my ex's hand, so he has to put up with her simmering resentment, however carefully hidden, for that. Said mother was a real piece of work, too. The day before we arrived in NM for our two week honeymoon, she canceled our lodging reservations. She insisted we stay with her and grandma for the whole time. And she was so proud that she'd arranged for us to have a high quality air mattress to sleep on. On the living room floor. Right outside her bedroom door. Said ex was also less than completely understanding about my being a bit... sullen during said honeymoon.
This is astounding: How This Woman Plans to Ride a Bike 170 Miles Per…: [youtu.be]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I've done 45 on my road bike, and I was terrified that one of the lights ahead of me would turn red and I'd break off on of my brakes while attempting to not become integrated into cross traffic. I could have gone faster, as this was a downhill, but it just felt a bit too insane.
I am curious What are the top three things or you can say "red flags" that would make your heart ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
Racism. Conspiracy theories. Wanting to get me involved in their MLM business. Aside from the obvious one of religion.
Is FFRF still fighting the "In God We Trust" decals on police and emergency vehicles? I'm a touring ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
Their web site has them advertising victories with respect to that type of thing in Missouri this year, and most of the Texas stuff listed is for bibles being handed out in high schools, or teacher-led prayers in class. But I didn't spend an inordinate amount of time looking for it. Here's a link to their web site: https://ffrf.org/legal/other-legal-successes
Morning! Well, that does it for that job. Now I am unemployed. I have been working almost non ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I wish you all the luck in the world for your search - I've been very underemployed for the last 3 years now. I lost my last two jobs in my field due to offshoring, and it's been impossible to even get interviews as a software QA analyst, even with more than a decade of experience. There's just too many people coming over from Ukraine, Pakistan, or India that are willing to work for close to minimum wage, or will work from those countries for half of even that. And a lot of the companies that do have positions also want a long list of very specific skill sets that tell me they already have someone in mind and want to rule everyone else out.
PSILANTHROPISM. (P)si-lan-thre-pizm- Noun...the doctrine that Christ was a mere man.
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
How about the doctrine that he was a work of fiction copied from earlier religions, about 60-70 years after he was supposed to have lived?
Florence update... So I have relocated far enough north to be away from this mess. I have horrible ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I'm glad to hear you're safe.
I'm thinking about getting a pet in the next few days, probably a puppy, any suggestions on type ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I'm really partial to keeshonds, since I grew up with them. (Meaning I had several of them as pets when I was a child, not that I was raised by them in the wilds of Holland). They're very friendly and personable, but you'll also need to spend some time brushing them because of the long hair.
Have you ever???
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I couldn't really rule it out, with the exception of the one I married. After 20 years or more have gone by, you're both different enough people and have grown enough that it might work. Of course, none of my other breakups have been one of those drama-fests full of rancor, either. Things just weren't quite working as we'd have liked.
Also woman or her.??
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
That's my secret: I'm already pretty disturbed.
Hey, my friend just joined. He's a great guy... @janusville pronounced yanusville ? please welcome ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
Buongiorno, amigo.
Perfume and cologne: Yay or Nay?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
Everyone I've ever noticed wearing perfume was because it was pretty strong. None of the times I've ever worn cologne have been times when things went really well, but that could be for other reasons.
Tell me this isn't really true, and if it is why would it be? [wfsb.com]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
Now every restaurant is Taco Bell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFiDoOgRTpk
This is purely anecdotal, but on the topic of senior dating..... it seems in many cases that there ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
Perhaps they're looking for someone more like their former spouse was in their head than in reality?
Earthy Questionnaire-I have never done 10 things on this list. How about you?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 13, 2018:
I've done 12.
Today I am 64
chilehead9 comments on Sep 10, 2018:
You made it! How's the view?
Good Sunday morning! When dating do you judge someone on the type of work they do or just be ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 10, 2018:
I don't judge them by the type of work they do - unless they're a drug dealer, , telemarketer, republican staffer, or professional assassin. I want to be with someone that works, because I don't want that person feeling trapped with me financially, like @JackPedigo said "buying their love", or that they'll start resenting me because they have to keep asking me for money. I want my partner to stay with me because I put joy into their life, not because it's financially expedient or convenient. Back when I was married, my wife had one of those half-volunteer jobs that paid her about $200/month if they could afford it. At the time I was working 40-75 hours a week, and when the overtime season drew to a close, I was left wondering where all the money went when the only things I spent money on was gas to get to work, lunch, and a meal out with the wife on the weekend if I had a day free. This makes me suspect that when you're not working and you're not the one writing the checks for rent and utilities, it's inevitable that your perceptions of the money you spend get a bit warped - not through a fault, but because you're not constantly reviewing the info.
If i was going to make you an omelette how many eggs and what should i put in it.
chilehead9 comments on Sep 8, 2018:
Three eggs, habanero jack cheese, onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, ham, tomatoes, green chiles (or something hotter), garlic, and a pinch of salt and pepper.
Worth the wait ?❤?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 8, 2018:
I think that's putting one hell of a lot of pressure on her, and a really high standard for her to live up to. Since this statement means that whomever arrives in my life now had best be pretty damn spectacular, and could make me literally explode on contact.
Whatever.... EM gave us this: [youtube.com]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 8, 2018:
It's going to start getting real interesting when Blue Origin finally starts doing stuff, too. Because you know with egos like EM and JB have, they're going to just HAVE to one-up each other constantly.
What's the most dates you've ever had in a 24-hour period?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 8, 2018:
One.
Fill in the last word to this sentence. Dating is all about location, location,...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 8, 2018:
empathy
Is it possible to learn how to write code on your own? how? ?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 8, 2018:
To start, I'd direct you to https://www.khanacademy.com - it's free, and has all kinds of stuff you can learn. I'd supplement their SQL module with visits to https://www.sqlzoo.net
The role of freedom and autonomy in romantic relationships--this is something I now take very ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 7, 2018:
Yeah, there's coming to an agreement and being on the same page about something, and then there's one person dictating things to the other. I want a partner, not an employee or a manager.
I Don't Know How This Was Determined - Seems Accurate to Me Lol
chilehead9 comments on Sep 7, 2018:
Scoprio?
Whats your minimum education requirement for a potential partner?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 7, 2018:
Required? High school paired with something practical after. Preferred? Any post-high school degree. I want to make sure that the people I spend my time dating have an intellectual capacity and are not likely to be falling for Goop, Jenny McCarthy, or Chopra.
I've never been so self conscious of where my mouse is at than on this site now. I tend to worry ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 5, 2018:
It keeps track of that stuff? My mouse slides all over the page when I'm typing, since it's sitting next to me on a lap board. My computer is set up so I can sit on the couch to use it, as I don't have room for a separate computer desk.
What is more important book knowledge or experience?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 5, 2018:
Experience lets you learn from your own mistakes, book learning lets you learn from others mistakes. Since there's a lot more people out there making mistakes than you have the time to get around to making yourself, you can learn a lot more from them. But you can't adapt well if you can't learn from your own experience.
Do you meditate?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 5, 2018:
When I'm desperate to get some sleep.
What constitutes a healthy breakfast for you.
chilehead9 comments on Sep 5, 2018:
A bowl of granola cereal. Or oatmeal. Or some leftover sataras with an egg and a little cheese cooked into it.
Also girl, woman and her.?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 4, 2018:
I want hers in a jar on the shelf, right next to the jar with mine.
If you holiday shop, when do you usually start?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 4, 2018:
Around December 5th.
Are Two Hearts Meant to be Together?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 4, 2018:
Fate seems to be taking its sweet damn time.
So what did everyone do for Labor Day? I slept until 11 then read and binge watched Intelligence on...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
I just got home from work a few minutes ago.
What's your favorite burger place? I know there are chains that have very strong following around ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
My current two favorites are Slater's 50/50 and Burgerim.
Not just shoes, do you wear anything white afrer labor day?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
constantly. Fashion rules were meant to be ignored.
Advice! It’s been a loooong time since I’ve been, uh... ‘active’ in any way. ;-) I’ve had ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
How much of a turn off would it be? Not enough to measure.
Have You Ever Wanted To Have Sex With a FB Friend?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
I don't friend anyone on Facebook that I don't know in real life.
Marry Her Yesterday
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
Where can I meet this person?
Labor day picnic qyestion. If you eat them, what do you put on you burgers and dogs?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
Everything I can find that's not an insect or still alive. And lots of chile peppers.
Plagiarism. Noun The practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
I was accused of this once. An article I had written was deemed by someone to be plagiarizing a book they were familiar with, that I had never read. It turned out that one of my sources used that book as one of their sources, and my paraphrasing of their paraphrasing made it more like the form in that book.
Do you have big labor day plans?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
Spent the day at work, am considering the possibility of having dinner at some time tonight.
Blasphemy.....
chilehead9 comments on Sep 3, 2018:
It's sacrelicious.
I have a date tonight. We decided to get the dreaded ( hopefully not) kiss out of the way before ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
Would the kiss be a good indicator of chemistry if there isn't any prior interaction? I'm thinking "it's not magic - seeing if there's a spark depends on more than just a quick physical act. Otherwise we could just line up a hundred men and women, have them go down the line kissing folks until they felt the spark and left with that person. Dating sites would disappear.
Love doesn't hurt? thoughts...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
He's not wrong. Not even a little bit.
Happy Saturday, everyone. How are you all doing today?
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
Just got home from work.
You Are Granted One Wish. Please Share.
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
If it is only one wish, and not the standard "let me win the lotto jackpot", I'd have to say it is for the Singularity to begin this month.
Drivers, keep your hands on the wheel and your mouths shut. [outsideonline.com]
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
I don't mind the words of encouragement, though better from the passenger's side of the car. The rest of the article is spot on.
Without revealing a specific number, do you hqve in mind how long rouggly you would like to be ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
175
I don’t watch network tv as a rule but my daughter watches This Is Us and I caught an episode on ...
chilehead9 comments on Sep 1, 2018:
Westworld and Altered Carbon.
I’ve got my big Labor Day weekend plans. Anyone else? ?
chilehead9 comments on Aug 31, 2018:
Working Saturday, and Sunday I'll probably be taking in the Orange International Street Fair. http://www.orangestreetfair.org/home-2/
Awwww man! No 21st Century Space Race? :( [teslarati.com] Background: [russianspaceweb.com]
chilehead9 comments on Aug 31, 2018:
You'd think that with more countries and companies wanting to get satellites up there, the marketplace would be able to support more launch facilities. But we have United Launch Alliance, SpaceX, and ESA doing their stuff, China and India handling their own launches, and that's even before Blue Origin gets their New Glenn operational or Virgin Galactic starts taking their own passengers up. I guess that Russia isn't as good with their finances as they thought they were - we've been buying launches from them for the ISS resupply missions, up until SpaceX started taking over. Perhaps they were depending on selling more launches than they got? https://www.blueorigin.com/new-glenn https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/virgin-galactic-space-test-flight/index.html
Do you think it's possible to have chemistry from just tl talking on the phone and texting? For the...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 31, 2018:
You can certainly get a good start, but there's always a chance that something about them will kill the chemistry outright once you finally meet them in person. Then again, if you push through that first in-person meeting, you may ignite a whole different chemical reaction.
Are there any well known people you would be nervous to meet?
chilehead9 comments on Aug 31, 2018:
I once met Buddy Hackett while waiting in line for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. He seemed a little nervous, making jokes for all the folks in line. I was one of the people that recognized him, and would have been content to just let the guy be, but it seemed making jokes with all of us helped him deal with being exposed in public. I bumped into Tim Russ and his son at the Renaissance Faire once. I was going to leave him be, but when he turned around after getting his food, he caught my eye. So I told him I admired his work, and let him get on with his day. One or two others, as well. It turns out that, like coyotes and wolves, they're usually more afraid of being confronted with us than we are of them (since people tend to go crazy when they meet someone famous). I tend not to expect much from them, because of the whole "never meet your heroes" thing.
Have you noticed a pattern to the men or women you go for? I was realizing that all my serious (or ...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 30, 2018:
A lot of the women I've gotten serious with have turned out to be seeking extended financial support, or not have any of the expenses to worry about. I don't want to be someone's wallet, especially when at this moment i can't even be my own.
Regarding age, how much younger or older are you willing to go in order to date someone? Or does age...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
I haven't yet given up on my dream of having a child, so that skews my answers a bit to accommodate the current state of health technology. So, while I have this dream, I'm looking for people between 35 and 47 - I might be convinced by someone that is interested and determined to go as low as 30. Once that dream dies, I'd shift the window to 10 years younger than I, or 5 years older.
Haptic-1 : relating to or based on the sense of touch. 2 : characterized by a predilection for the ...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
This is a good word to know with respect to the growing VR technologies. They have gloves that give you a lot of haptic feedback - a sense of touch, limiting your movements with respect to virtual objects, and even temperatures.
At what point during the courtship process do you offer the fact that you're atheist or Agnostic? ...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
On all the places I have a dating profile, the mildest way I phrase it is, "religion and I don't get along well." I try to get all the stuff that would a hard stop for some people out in the open quickly - if someone is going to have a problem with something that is that big a part of who I am, I'd rather that be found out as early as possible, not 5-10 dates down the line.
Good morning. Is it Friday yet?
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
There is no coffee, only tea.
I've been with my current partner for nearly 6 years. It's been mostly wonderful. Lately, it's ...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
I tried for years with kind of the same situation. All my attempts to discuss issues and/or to find out what they thought the problem was were met with a stone wall, "I don't want to talk about it." Given that history, I'm not willing to let things go nearly that long again with no improvement, even though it's with someone else. Being devoted to the person you're married to doesn't fix anything by itself. So, take that into account when considering my advice. I view ultimatums as a very likely short path to the end of a relationship, so I don't take their use lightly. If you're reached the point where you're asking mostly-strangers on the Internet for advice about whether or not to quit the relationship, then it's probably time to break out an ultimatum. Sit down with him and explain that his behavior in the relationship has changed in a way that you really don't like, you've tried talking to him about it and you don't feel it has improved anything. So you want to make it clear to him that if he isn't willing to take this concern of yours seriously, and make a good-faith effort to work on it, you don't think you can keep going with it. That tells him there's clearly a problem, that you feel it's very serious, and you require his help to work on it. He will know that refusing to address it will likely end the relationship, and with no ambiguity there to let him later claim you sucker-punched him. If there haven't been any changes/improvements within two weeks of that discussion, his actions have told you what he might not be willing or able to put into words - possibly that he doesn't want the relationship anymore and doesn't know how to go about ending it.
When you know a friend is hurting, reach out. Offer a shoulder, ask how you can help. 'Gee, that ...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
People in that state aren't always well-equipped to answer the question "how can I help?" Their thoughts are focused in an inward direction. If you have occasion to be around them, or even at their place, just start doing some chores for them - because doing them and other normal things isn't going to occur to them until they've got processing that pain/grief/whatever out of the way. But their family needs feeding, dishes and laundry will need to be done, trash taken out, shopping done, etc. You can ask what groceries they need from the supermarket - a question with a narrow and immediate focus like that will get processed much better than something as nebulous as "can I do anything for you?" From the time I spent teaching disaster preparedness and response classes, part of the section on Critical Incident Stress Debriefing covered the mental issues that people have following a large, stressful incident. Even the firemen and police that respond to disasters feel stress from it and need a recovery, not just the people the building fell on or were in a hurricane that took rescuers a week to find them after. They learned that forcing people to talk and have counseling sessions immediately after such incidents was having the opposite of the desired effect: being made to talk about it on someone else's timetable was denying them the ability to escape from the horror of the situation they saw or lived through, and that hobbled their ability to cope with it in non-destructive ways. So the new recommended way of dealing with that is for you to let them know that whenever they want to talk, you're willing to listen, you'll be near them and helping them, and otherwise you just shut up and let them be - they'll open up and say what they need to get out when they are able to, if they also feel it's safe to talk with you about it.
What makes a person vote for a politician who is racist, sexist, classist, homophobic, etc.??? Do ...
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
"Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." - Ronald Wright From the movie *Mississippi Burning*: "Ward: Where does it come from, all this hatred? . Anderson: You know, when I was a little boy, there was an old Negro farmer lived down the road from us, name of Monroe. And he was, uh, - well, I guess he was just a little luckier than my Daddy was. He bought himself a mule. That was a big deal around that town. Now, my Daddy hated that mule, 'cause his friends were always kiddin' him about oh, they saw Monroe out plowin' with his new mule, and Monroe was gonna rent another field now they had a mule. And one morning that mule just showed up dead. They poisoned the water. And after that there was never any mention about that mule around my Daddy. It just never came up. So one time, we were drivin' down the road and we passed Monroe's place and we saw it was empty. He'd just packed up and left, I guess. Gone up North, or somethin'. I looked over at my Daddy's face - and I knew he'd done it. And he saw that I knew. He was ashamed. I guess he was ashamed. He looked at me and he said: 'If you ain't better than a nigger, son, who are you better than?'...He was an old man just so full of hate that he didn't know that bein' poor was what was killin' him." From my observations, people that are poor for extended periods and/or have gone through really hard times look for ways to feel better about themselves, for ways to assert that they have some power over their situation when they don't, and for some person or group of people that they can "safely" blame for their misfortunes. People that have trouble empathizing with people who are different from themselves put it off as a failure on the part of those other people - like how left-handed people used to be characterized as evil (sinistrous means left handed, and is where we get the word "sinister"). If you're different, you're bad. They can look around and feel they have some standing and value "because I'm not a [minority]." "The horrible economy isn't because we started a world war and are being punished with harsh sanctions for it, it's all The Jews' fault!" "I don't have to care about my treating those people terribly and constantly cheating them, they're poor not because of that, but because they're lazy and won't put in an honest effort! And they don't make good decisions when they do catch a break!" So, whether they realize they have those feelings inside them or not, they recognize the same in the candidate and feel that identifying with that candidate validates them on a few levels. This also explains why they start feeling like any criticism of their chosen ...
Out on a date with someone? What's the oddest encounter you've ever had with one of their pets?
chilehead9 comments on Aug 28, 2018:
I was dating someone for a few months, and was having breakfast with her in her kitchen. Her parrot hops on my shoulder, and I'm fine with it - we'd been getting along fine when she wasn't in the room. But when she got close, the parrot bit my ear. HARD. Took a little bit for the bleeding to stop. (my ear, not the parrot.) Evidently parrots are possessive about their owners.