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Humanist, secularist, intersectional feminist, demisexual, BLM and LGTBQ+ ally.

I am averse to controlling people or people that do not respect my boundaries. I do not have a profile picture up for personal reasons. I don't care if everyone in the world had a profile picture up, I'm not going to do something just because others do it! Just like I wouldn't jump off a bridge because everyone is doing it. So kindly do not demand I post a pic or ask me for a picture of myself. K thanks bye

"Could dress up to get love, But guess what?
I'm never gonna be that girl,
Who's living in a Barbie World

Could wake up and make up and dumb,
Pretending that I need a boy,
Who's gonna treat me like a toy...

But I don't wanna be the puppet that you're playing on a string..

Full Bio

Comments

Awww .. let me see.
demifeministgal comments on Sep 9, 2018:
dogs > babies. Dogs are superior to all humans. :D <3
My birthday is Friday, September 14th. I haven't seen my adult son, who is 28, since my last ...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 9, 2018:
Going NC is never an easy decision to make. One does not make it lightly. As others may have said he is probably struggling as well but you just cannot see it (since there is no contact).
I am heartbroken. Needing to vent. My mother is dying -- she has a degenerative bone marrow ...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 7, 2018:
Be gentle with yourself and remember to bond with your mom as much as you can her last days. And let yourself feel let yourself cry. When my granny got the home nurse care and they weren't sure how long she had I knew then she would die. I HATE crying, especially around people. But I literally broke down on the subway ride home in my friend's arms. If you are anything like me, do not try to soldier through and have a strong front. Let the emotions play out as they shall. I am sorry you are struggling. *hugs
An observation… I grew up in a family where feelings were always suspect. If you were sad or ...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 6, 2018:
I value both sides. When I am in a neutral or logical frame of mind I prefer and value the clinical approach as I highly value scientific and evidence based things. When I am depressed or my anxiety is high I prefer the reflective compassionate replies. But in those cases I will try to make it obvious, or else overtly state I want people to be gentle. People are not mind readers after all. :)
So what do you do when you've been dating 3 months, are very happy and then find out that your ...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 3, 2018:
Top 3 reasons for divorce are related to sex, money and kid(s). You need to be on the same page with this and let him know you are 100% (or whatever percentage it is for you) not down to have a child. Good luck to you.
Are you skeptical of someone in their late 30s, 40s who has never been married? I worry more about ...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 3, 2018:
What if the person does not believe in the institution of marriage for themselves? Are you willing to be less skeptical of folks that have been in long term committed or common law relationships (the latter of which are common among millenials in my area)?
Posting this here as well as under "Family & Parenting" because it's also impacting my mental ...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 3, 2018:
My mother was dying for a LONG TIME, many years in fact. Once she stopped the chemo I KNEW, if nobody else did, that that was the end for her sooner or later. And for me, at least, her death was kind of a relief. Because I had been waiting so long that when it happened it was like FINALLY. It is called anticipatory grief. I trust that you and your mother had a loving and good relationship, so her passing may hit you very hard. I would say before she passes tell her anything you've wanted to and ask anything you've wanted to or been curious about because once she's gone that is it. And then when she is gone, take solace in all your fond memories and times together. At least that last bit is what I was told. Also take solace in the fact she's lived a full and rich life, not everyone has that privilege. My mother died at the age of 49 after losing her battle. :(
Hey guys, glad I found this website. I'm Val and i'm from the small island of Jamaica. This is a...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 1, 2018:
I used to have a friend from Jamaica (we lost touch when he got engaged lol). It's a country I would like to visit one day. I went to school with many jamaicans so I know just how religious they are! Welcome to a religious free zone :D
Do you "dress your age"? Exactly what does that actually mean anyway? What does that mean to you? Do...
demifeministgal comments on Sep 1, 2018:
I don't think I dress my age. I dress rather conservatively and covered up. So very rarely can you see skin or even curves if I am wearing loose jeans or dress pants. So because I do not dress like a scantily clad sex worker and do not "flaunt it" people assume I dress older or younger than I actually am. But why the fck must I dress like a sex kitten and flaunt it? Maybe I do not want to flaunt anything because that garners more attention from perverts and creepers. Let the others flaunt it and deal with the unwanted attention! NO THANK YOU!
Does anyone else here struggle with "analysis paralysis"? Or, put another way, overthinking about ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 29, 2018:
I read an article that explains me. Painfully slow perfectionism. Yup. Sounds accurate. :$
Some people are really a piece of work. They tell you they're proud of you and then turn around and ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 28, 2018:
ughh do we have the same fam member? My fam member pulls the same 2-faced BS with me too. One minute trying to uplift me and the next tearing me down or talking shit behind my back. FCK THEM BOTH! >:(
Lost in hell with Jon Snow because that's how I roll.
demifeministgal comments on Aug 27, 2018:
I broke up with hades because it was supposed to make me famous. LOL B-)
What would you do? I have a friend I met four or five years ago. A neighbor brought her over. It...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 16, 2018:
Hell I've even counselled a stranger lady at a bus terminal for like an hour to encourage her to leave or kick out her abusive ex. I would make the same silly mistakes as you and get fckd over just as bad if not worse. Good luck to you sir. goodam empathy I swear >:(
What are some alternatives to marijuana to help calm myself down? It went from something ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 16, 2018:
I have been told meditation and grounding excercise may help. Trying to make yourself focus on the present. So stuff like squeezing a stress ball, colouring an adult colouring book, slowing your breathing and taking deep breaths, etc. etc.
Drugs for insomnia. Just thought I would mention that I started taking Topamax recently and it's ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 15, 2018:
I have tried two different things now and neither helped me stay asleep, though both helped me fall asleep. FML
Not surprised by the Texas plates....was sad to see the Star Wars sticker on the same window... ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 12, 2018:
ughhh. This mentality pisses me off. We have over 7 billion people on this earth! Goodness forbid a few of us actively and logically choose to abstain from child rearing. My conservative catholic family members also believe not reproducing means a woman is selfish and lazy. Of course it can't have anything to do with the motherhood gap in wages and career, the fact childrearing has become unaffordable for many, the fact that millenials are taking longer to establish ourselves than the past generations, etc. No, it cannot POSSIBLY be a logical and sound decision we've made for ourselves. Intellectually lazy dolts.
On dating sites, everyone says they like long walks on the beach. When I am at the beach, no one is ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 12, 2018:
Maybe in the older age range. I occassionally see millenials posting about liking long walks on the beach. They tend to focus on their gym rat or athletic lifestyles instead.
Does anyone else get called a narcissist when you express your anxieties to your loved ones? I tried...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 12, 2018:
Sounds like projection and it sounds like SHE is the actual narcissist. She even has flying monkeys doing her bidding, if gaslighting you and cannot admit she is wrong or apologize. Sounds like a narc from my family that is no longer with us. Check this out for a list of symptoms and see how many match her: https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder/ Or this: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9741.php
My adult son and his wife are ostracizing and punishing me. I will absolutely not go onto details, ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 12, 2018:
I may be biased, but it is not a simple choice to cut out one's parents from one's life. Most of the time, if a parent has been cut out it is due to a deep wound inflicted by said parent on the child. I would do some introspective thinking and think back long and hard and try to determine if you did anything hurtful in his life and try to make ammends for it. Keep in mind if he has decided to go NC (no contact) unfortunately you will have to learn to make peace with his decision.
G'NITE puppy! rocked to sleep
demifeministgal comments on Aug 10, 2018:
YAAY! Finally cute doggies here and not the endless barrage of cats. :/
So over whelmed. My Rottweiler somehow split her lip open today. Looked like a murder scene. Blood ...
demifeministgal comments on Aug 8, 2018:
Some community centers offer funding for pet care or vet visits. Worth researching and looking into if there is some organization in your area that covers such expenses for the future.
To the ladies... How do you feel when you ask out a guy you like and you get a rejection? To ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 30, 2018:
The guys that have rejected me have done so by just ignoring me. It was hurtful to my pride, but they were out of my league. By that I mean they were super educated and successful and I am not as educated or accomplished as them. Though I am a chicken and can only approach guys I am interested in online. heh
Hey all, So I went a walk-in clinic because my doctor is frign useless with his 3 days of office...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 30, 2018:
Thanks for all the tips and personal experiences y'all. Will see how it goes. The dose I was prescribed I am to take half per night anyways soo I am good.
This felt like the safest place to share this. Here goes… I’ve turned around a lot of things ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 29, 2018:
I know you did not ask for advice but sometimes you can do focus groups for a little spare money. I am sure there must be ones in New Jersey that you could even apply to through facebook groups. I found this site: https://focusgroups.org/newjersey/
You have to make love to my mind..before you can make love to my body. Does anyone else require the...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 22, 2018:
Yup. It's just part of who I am. A demisexual that does not do one night stands and avoids the hookup culture like th plague.
Woman are pressed in Stereotypes. When I see so-called "Feminists" dressing in Hijabs, I get the ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 22, 2018:
This sums up my point nicely
Woman are pressed in Stereotypes. When I see so-called "Feminists" dressing in Hijabs, I get the ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 22, 2018:
I think that women that dress really promiscuously are also not empowered or free just like the women in hijabs are not. I think both are experiencing different sides of a similar cone, as in dressing up for the male gaze or to be ornamental or a sex object for mens' pleasure is not much better than women covering themselves up. But, I support both group of womens' choices to dress however foolishly they so choose,
Woman Dies After Trusting "Black Salve" Fake Cancer Cure Over Real Medicine
demifeministgal comments on Jul 21, 2018:
Yup. My family member when the BS natural route thanks to some fcker that sold a book saying cancer treatments actually causes more cancers or causes cancer to spread within the body. She is dead now. She had one of the most treatable types of cancers and if she had done a second round of chemo I think she would be here now. Oh well her superstitious thinking and religious reliance on god to "heal her" fckd her over good. She is dead now. Classic Darwin Award
I was a side chick once without knowing it.... An ex of mine turned out to be a narcissistic and ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 20, 2018:
I accidentally dated a narc fckboy too. The proverbial FAKE, SJW Nice Guy TM. He seemed to good to be true and he was. I told his other side chick he had no intention of being with her and was using her for sex and the fcker convinced her to call the police on me and file a harassment police report. Honestly I hope he uses her until she's fckd up beyond repair. >:D
Do you think it's possible to try to sway someone's opinion and influence them to make the choice to...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 20, 2018:
No. Once people get children or the idea of children and family into their heads, no logical argument can sway them. They are operating off of emotions at that point. :/ I would still try to reason with a woman if a pregnancy could kill her and leave her other kid(s) motherless or if a woman was in an abusive household though to reconsider.
I take my dog with me when I run. I'm still wide awake and he does this next to me. He did get to ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 19, 2018:
My sister's dog would come downstairs to chill with me and sleep and snore around me almost every night. The lil punk :p
Excuse this posting if the question has been asked before. Are you attracted to someone similar ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 15, 2018:
Someone with similar values as me and similar attitudes. I CANNOT get along with religious conservative or new age types. Hits too close to home. NOPE NOPE NOOOOOPE. If I cannot stand the guy and his mentality, no way I can get intimate with him! o.O Plus research shows those with shared values tend to have longer lasting relationships. Exceptions occur of course.
Question for the single people...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:
Nope. Do NOT do booty calls or one night stands. I need know and trust a person, have some sort of connection before I can be sexually intimate. I am demisexual and it is our way. I like that there is a label for people like me that can find a stranger attractive but never want randomly have with hot strangers. Not many youngins could or can relate me. :( However I have a FWBs type of situation going on. Probably shouldn't be doing so cuz it is with an ex but humans have needs. :$
Best Late Night Show(If you're a TV watcher)? Me: 1. Conan 2. Jimmy Kimmel 3. Stephen Colbert ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:
1. The Daily Show-- either with jon oliver or trevor noah 2. stephen colbert 3. jimmy Kimmel
My wife and I have been fighting about her embarrassment at my “manic” reposting of Atheist ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:
You can set her your restricted friends list on facebook. That way she can only see your public posts and you can make those posts only visible non restricted friends. If she is not facebook savvy she won't even know she's on that list. Good luck
Men/Women, Is sex a requirement for an enjoyable romantic relationship?
demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:
Yes they are feasible and satisfying. One needs look no further than asexual couples or aromantic couples or couples with low sex drives see it. Also intimacy and love can be expressed in other physical ways such as making out, cuddling, hand holding, kissing, etc. Side note did it ever occur you that she would like more s e x more often, but it is him that leaves her hanging? Your post seems suggest she leaves him high and dry. >.>
Traditions. My lovely wife''s family has what I'll refer to for lack of a better term as "extended ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:
Well that is some gender normative BS if I ever did read it. What happens those that deviate? Say the lady has a home and established career while her mate does not. What if the woman does not want a BS or MBA. In today's economic market even MBA's or BS's are no guarantees of success or even a job. What if they hate science or business? Sucks to be them? What if they'd rather go into a trade or job requiring no post secondary education? What if the boy wanted a sewing machine and how to use it and the girl wanted the rifle? This sounds like gender role crap buybull or religious types would infuse in their kids. It disgusts me and is NO guarantee of success whatsoever.
Dating Site Don'ts
demifeministgal comments on Jul 13, 2018:
When someone clearly has not read my profile or my words or chosen to ignore what I have said. If I say I am a demisexual I am a damn demisexual. Do not try to hint at sex or hooking up right away! I am not playing any damn games. Also when the guy is too pushy trying to get me to send pics or to meet him. I send pics IF I want and I meet when I am ready. Stop with the forcing shit. ugh :/
What is the one thing your are most proud of accomplishing in your life? I used to work for a ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 10, 2018:
That I graduated university with honours (statistically and with my home envt being the way it was I should have never gone to uni, let alone completed it). Also helping homeless people in my city and getting involved in organizations or projects geared towards helping homeless or disadvantaged people while in university. It's not much, but I am still young, perhaps I can accomplish something more impressive one day like you! :)
Having a bit of a rough night. One of those "what's the point?" nights.
demifeministgal comments on Jul 9, 2018:
*hugs
I have always associated a suntan with good health and vitality. Do you prefer the look of people ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 4, 2018:
Apparently skin cancers are on the rise and are the most common form of cancer. Be careful what you do for the sake of vanity people! "According to the American Cancer Society, skin cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in the U.S., and rates have been rising for the last 30 years. There are three types of skin cancer: melanoma (the deadliest), squamous cell and basal cell. Melanoma is currently the second most common cancer among women between the ages of 15-29. According to recent research from the American Academy of Dermatology, using an indoor tanning bed before the age of 35 increases melanoma risk by 59 percent (and that risk increases with more frequent use). Even just one visit to a tanning bad can increase a user's risk of developing skin cancer. While indoor tanning bed use is on the decline, nearly 10 million adults still tan every year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention." https://www.today.com/health/skin-cancer-woman-was-diagnosed-her-first-melanoma-23-t127232
I didn't understand the whole "Make America great again" thing. I mean we were the greatest country ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 3, 2018:
Actually, it is in fact nordic countries that make up the top 10 best countries in the world according to international matrices. It is only Americans or people from 3rd world countries that espouse the myth of America being the greatest nation in the world. Y'all have not been great for a VERY long time. Sorry not sorry. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/23/us-news-world-report-the-top-10-best-countries-in-the-world.html https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/top-10/2016-worlds-happiest-countries/
I'm a sensitive man and very empathic, I feel the energies of those around me very strongly. I also ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 3, 2018:
This sounds like pseudoscientific woo to me. No better than the things religious people claim to be able to see. Also, I would also advise to getting medically checked out and explain to a doctor things you claim to see, just to rule out a health condition.
Ok, be sensitive because I am talking about someone I love very much. My mother is dying and I am ...
demifeministgal comments on Jul 1, 2018:
I asked this same question of atheists when my granny was dying and then when my mother was dying. They told me to listen to that speech about you will want a physicist to speak at your funeral. And they told me their energy will always be with me and that my brain was changed due to experiences with them. So the folds in my brain that they caused will remain with me so physically they will always be with me in that way. Those things made me feel better though losing my mother was not difficult for me. Losing my granny was hard though. :/
I was wondering why most people now days don’t like to meet in person like we did in the old days,...
demifeministgal comments on Jun 27, 2018:
For me personally I need time to try and get to know the person, because as a woman, I know a guy MAY be a violent psycho that cannot take no for an answer. Luckily, in my experience, most of those psycho types do not like talking for long and want to meet asap or just disappear. Sadly there are a few that are dedicated game players that you cannot determine their true characters until you meet them. It's not a full proof system, but it is one nonetheless.
What is it with men on dating sites lately? I get immediate requests to move the conversation to ...
demifeministgal comments on Jun 26, 2018:
Yup. It's like hey we just met. Care to give me your personal phone number and send me some pics. ummm buddy how do I know you are not some deranged stalker type who will not take no for an answer? And then they get pushy and aggressive if you refuse. Why should I blindly trust you dear stranger? aah yes because YOU assured me you are trustworthy! fck outta here
Should women still act like women and men like men?
demifeministgal comments on May 14, 2018:
What does it mean to be a woman? Does it mean to conform to rigid gender roles and gender norms? If I pursue a partner or do not like the trappings of femininity am I no longer a woman? My take on it is you subscribe to conservative binary gender roles/norms and you have yet to realize that gender is a social construct, a performance and rather fluid, along a spectrum.
My friend said something that i couldn't get off my mind. Maybe it's so harsh but yet so true. "A ...
demifeministgal comments on May 14, 2018:
So what? You could have flipped that around on him and say a non white racist doesn't have to do anything to white people because they kill each other every day all across the globe. unless your friend was trying to make some subtly racist point about visible minorities being more violent towards one another than white people, in which case that rebuttal would be challenged.
Life's too short... (finish the line).
demifeministgal comments on Dec 3, 2017:
To constantly have to count calories and carbs and not enjoy all the delicious food(s) out there! ;) Food is life, food is energy. Or food is energy for life! ;)
Comforting dying religious family members?
demifeministgal comments on Oct 29, 2017:
My grandmother and mother both died of cancer. When family members or they would tell me to pray for them, I would either smile politely or just lie to them. They were also catholics. But in a bad way because my mother wanted to convert me back as does the rest of my family. I am sorry you are going through this. Good luck to you on your journey through pre-grief and then grief.
Do you think that science teachers should teach alternatives to evolution in public schools?
demifeministgal comments on Oct 29, 2017:
No absolutely not. I went to catholic schools all my minor life and the science teachers infused religiosity into religion. Religions do not follow the scientific method or adhere to falsifiability and have no place in science classrooms/lessons.

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Agnostic, Humanist, Skeptic, Freethinker
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