Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

my mom always said "my right to swing my arm ends at your nose." implied: short of your nose, my arm is free. some people see abortion as an exception here because of the involvement of another entity, but a first-trimester fetus is not a person. it's a clump of cells with no functioning nerve endings and no sentience. that means technically it is a parasite (and yes, if you want the baby, then it's a baby; it's a baby even when it's a twinkle in your eye, and an emotional attachment is a good thing, and good for you, but that's your decision for yourself and cannot be made for anyone else -- and that's the general "you," not you, jen, specifically) and a woman has a right to defend herself against a parasite. that is the only exception i can think of that SOME people might cite, but it is not one that i count. i still think of a pregnant woman, at least in the first trimester, as ONE person, and my mom's saying still holds. for myself, i can think of no exceptions to her saying. g p.s. i see someone has mentioned animals. of course the "you" in the saying includes animals. i am not, however, a vegetarian. but even an animal killed for food doesn't need to be tortured.

Flashing lights..

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i don't drive! if i drove, and if i were a person of color, i'd be terrified, and it would have nothing to do with a feeling of guilt. if i drove and i was me as i am, i would probably be a bit nervous, but not terrified. if i knew i'd done something wrong, i would readily admit that. if i did not know what i had done wrong, i'd ask. if i knew that i had not done what i was told i'd done, i'd say so, and probably accept the ticket and then fight it in court. all of that is white privilege. i can't help my skin color but it sucks that people of color cannot be confident enough that they would survive such an encounter as i have described. it is not that i would prefer not to be treated reasonably. it is that i would prefer that EVERYONE be treated reasonably. being treated reasonably shouldn't BE a privilege. it should be a right. g

Employment

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i am old and disabled but i worked my whole adult life, and i have had some stinkers of jobs as well as some really great ones. one of the stinkiest was with an ad agency whose sole client was singapore airlines. the bosses of our local office were a man and a woman, neither of them particularly nice people, and the atmosphere in that place was somewhere between oppressive and paranoia-inducing. their favorite ploy was to hand a secretary a huge spreadsheet to type up, 15 minutes before closing time, and insist it was needed right away. there was no overtime pay, of course. they had employees spying on one another; i made a casual remark to someone at lunchtime once and was called on it by the bosses some time later, and the remark was none of their business, had nothing to do with the business, and as far as i was concerned was quite innocent anyway. the pay wasn't enough to live on, either, but i'd had a hard time finding a job until i got that one -- i kept encountering the "o" word. that would be OVERQUALIFIED. all i wanted was a job that paid enough for me to stay sheltered, fed, able to feed the cats and dog, and to gas up the car, with a little extra to go to the movies on weekends and indulge my book- and record-store habits. that's not so bad, is it? this job didn't fit the bill. so i found myself one day applying for food stamps for the first time in my life. back then, they actually were stamps, too! when i explained why i needed them, they send me to a counselor (on site). as i described the job, the counselor kept saying, "but... but... they can't do that! that's illegal!" that gave me an idea. the next work day, i didn't go in to work and i didn't call in sick either. when they finally called me, i said "oh, i'm sick." the next day i did the same thing. the day after that they said they wanted to see me. the day after that was friday and i went in to work and met with my two bosses in the man's office. they told me the job just wasn't working out and they would like me to resign. i told them the job was impairing my mental health, and about my meeting with the counselor. their faces went ashen. every time i quoted the counselor, i told them i'd said to the counselor, "but all i want to do is get well!" i said this several times and they lost a bit more facial color every time i did. finally, they said, "wouldn't you like to resign?" i said "wouldn't it be cheaper for you to pay my unemployment than to pay my workman's comp?" they looked at each other again and then asked, "when would you like us to fire you?" "i'd like to be paid for today." they complied. of course i had no health insurance from them anyway, so that wasn't a consideration. g

Did he or didn't he?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

he probably said it. i say it 100 times a day, myself. but whether or not he said it, it's true. g

How many of you have continued to work even though you knew it was bad for your health for any ...

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i have tried to take care of myself but i can remember one day when i didn't. i was one of two secretaries in a four-man (yes, all men) advertising sales office, and it was the practice of that office to give each of us her birthday off as a paid holiday. the weekend before the other secretary's birthday, i went out with friends to an iffy eatery, and one of them, and i, got food poisoning. i awoke pretty damned sick on my coworker's birthday but knew the office would be empty and the men helpless when they wandered in (and i couldn't call her because i knew she was spending her birthday with her boyfriend, whose number i didn't have), so i got myself across the street into a bus that took me to a different bus i was too sick to get on. instead i climbed into a waiting cab and lay down in the back seat. the driver was dubious. "are you sure?" i insisted, so he took me to work. i stumbled in and waited for the men to arrive. one did, took one glance at me and said, "oh my," and promised as soon as a second guy came in, he'd drive me right back home. while we waited for that gentleman to arrive, the phone rang. i did my job, and answered it. it was an obscene phone call. i ran down the hall to the ladies' room and puked up my guts. i eventually got driven home and the next couple days are a blur, but that was an unusual occurrence. when i am sick, i stay home! g

What kind of foot do you have? ???

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i have diabetic feet. i have freedom-loving feet. i have, so far, two feet. when i am home and have no visitors, i go barefoot all over. when i go out, i wear clothing, and slip-on sandals, cheap walgreen's sandals in tan or black. (if they sold other colors i'd get other colors.) my feet don't like being squoze. neither does the rest of me. g

How does one go about being a polite atheist?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i don't talk religion with people like that. i don't talk MUCH to people like that. i don't have close friends who believe that way. i have one friend, neither close nor distant, at whom i am currently angry because she prayed jesusly (hands-on, yet!) over my fiancé at his birthday bash, which was populated mostly with jews (and at least one atheist: me; he is not an atheist). her conversations tend to be punctuated with "praise the lord" and stuff like that. she was his friend, and became mine when he and i got together, but this is the first time she's actually pulled this stunt, and the next time we communicate i will tell her that it had better be the last time, too. i've never interfered with her beliefs, though i consider them coo coo for coco puffs. i do not appreciate her interfering with his. g

What do you believe and why? ?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i believe there are no gods. the reason i believe this is because there are no gods! g

Do you find nudity in art unacceptable and why or why not?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

the human body is something that religionists should find quite acceptable, not only in art but on the street, since they believe that it was made in god's image (well, maybe i am being religion-specific there). me? oh sure, it's an object of interest and can also express emotion. art deals with such things. art should not shy from that. g

WHAT'S YOUR POSITION ON ABORTION ?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i don't know anyone who is in favor of abortion. abortion is sad. however, i, like many folks, am in favor of a woman's choice what to do with her own body. a first-trimester fetus is a clump of cells with nonfunctioning nerve endings. it's a potential baby. it's not a baby. it's literally a parasite. that's what it is physically. emotionally, it could be a baby. if you want a baby and you're pregnant, it's a baby, and you don't have to say "potential" because that's understood; you're already imagining it as your baby, picking out the daycare, thinking about which college, imagining your grandchildren. there's nothing wrong with that, but that doesn't make a similar fetus a baby for someone who does NOT want to be pregnant. technically, it IS a parasite, and a woman should have a right to protect herself from a parasite and maintain control over her own body. you can talk about planning, poverty, sin if that's your concern, the rest of the woman's life, the odds of death in childbirth (yes, it still happens!) and whether or not to buy stock in coat hangers, but what it boils down to is a woman's right to control her own body. religionists who oppose choice (they say they oppose abortion) call it murder (a legal term, not applicable to abortion since abortion is legal), talk about killing babies (a fetus is not a baby, i repeat) and drag all kinds of other issues in, but religious considerations applied to the irreligious amount to bashing down the wall between church and state. not all are sincere, either; what's with requiring doctors to lie to patients? but even the most sincerely concerned religionist has no right to tell another human being what to do with her body. that religionist may refrain from having an abortion; that is her right. she may not control another person's body. g

Prayers at meetings

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i have not been in that situation but you could, i suppose, suggest a silent moment that can be used for prayer but which leaves the time open for just plain thought (or waiting, imagining your favorite song, or whatever) instead of religion-specific, god-specific prayer. it might not go over. if it doesn't, then you have to decide whether you're going to just smile and put up with it or find another group to belong to, since this one doesn't respect your "religious beliefs" (yes i know that would be lack of religious belief but that's not how to present it to them). have you made it clear how MUCH it bothers you, and why? of course they may see this, no matter how gently presented, as an attack. anyone who can't see how solipsistic this behavior is might well become defensive of it. the less able they are to defend the behavior logically, the more stubbornly they may cling to it. i am sad to say i do not buy the "culture rather than faith" explanation for ANY kind of christianity. for judaism, yes. for christianity -- unless they're talking about santa claus, no. you could also come late and leave early, making quite clear why. what would they do if there were muslims or jews there? (i don't mean to assume absolutely that there aren't!) also if you could clarify for me whether you mean african, which is what you said, or african-american, which i do not wish to assume. i will assume you mean exactly what you said unless corrected, and that puts me rather in the dark about the exact nature of the group (which might be irrelevant to the question) and the nature of the prayer (which might or might not be relevant). g

How do you relax?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i have ptsd too but i have no medication for it, and i have no technique other than to avoid triggers. i tell people about it so they won't trigger me. how do i not freak out visibly when triggered? i don't know. i don't know how i do it. sometimes i burst into tears, so oops, i am not visibly calm. other times i jump inside but don't show it, and calmly ask for the trigger to stop. (i awoke during eye surgery when i was three; some triggers are being tilted back, especially unexpectedly; needles (and i am diabetic, so i have to take samples but i am not at this time insulin-dependent); pointing near my eye; touching my eye. my guy has alzheimer's so he forgets and does some pointing, and then instead of apologizing he argues that he was nowhere near me. that doesn't make life easy! but on-the-spot calming might (if i remember!) include deep breathing and, in the case of a blood draw, "losing" the arm and warning the phlebotomist that i will likely cry. calming down if i am alone just thinking about triggers would involve distraction, ANY kind of mental distraction: the initial game, a song, whatever. i don't know if this will help but i hope it does. g

Dealbreakers: Friends and Partners

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i am spoken for, but theoretically, there isn't much i would put up with in a good friend that i wouldn't put up with in a significant other. i am not sure those few things that would be different could apply to everyone; i judge folks as individuals. i even have a born-again evangelical christian friend but she pushed it last time we met and i'm mad at her. if she ever calls again i intend to tell her that. g

Has anyone or your children remained seated during the Pledge? [americanhumanist.org]

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

in 1968-9, my senior year of high school, i remained seated during the pledge. the year before i had simply not uttered the words "under god" during the pledge, but in my senior year i decided i wasn't going to say any of it, since we clearly did NOT live in an indivisible country with liberty and/or justice for all. i just wasn't willing to lie. most of my classmates yelled at me (during their precious pledge!) to stand up. the teacher asked me once, wouldn't i do so? i said no and i explained why. she didn't force me to stand but she didn't ask the others to leave me alone either. the only ones who didn't yell at me were the few black kids in the class. i like to think it's because they knew why i was sitting. i'll never know. g

One of many reasons I don't turn on the television:

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

information is power.... even if it's nasty information that makes you feel powerless. it's still better to know. it's even better to change! ach, if i were still in the dc area i'd be there getting arrested. g

MONETIZING MY POSTS AND COMMENTS - I'm enjoying posting to these boards but it occurs to me ...

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

none of the above. no one is forcing you to provide content. we all assume you do it for pleasure, as indeed i do. it is one thing to ask someone to buy something, then provide a price or ask for a donation in payment if the person buys, or to submit writing to a paying site and expect the agreed-upon compensation. it is another to be offered a chance to express oneself, without the chance of rejection for being inept, or displeasing, or otherwise unprofessional, and then expect payment on top of that. you may as well ask facebook to pay you. this is a place to communicate with others of like interests, not a paying venue for your "work." if you consider it work, you should probably find a paying venue for it. this isn't one. g

Anybody experienced in dealing with type 2 diabetes?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

p.s. there is no law that says you have to eat red meat, but it really is a lifesaver for me. i love fish and chicken but i am easily bored so once in a while i have some red meat. eating it sparingly shouldn't hurt you, at least not with regard to your blood sugar.

Anybody experienced in dealing with type 2 diabetes?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i have type 2 diabetes myself. it is dangerous to lose that much weight that fast! one important thing to do is make sure you're not cutting carbs completely. your body needs some. you just need to limit yourself the person who advised checking the glycemic index was right: some carbs are better than others. it is more important how many grams of carb you eat per meal than how many you eat per day. that is vital to know. plus, you should eat three meals, regularly spaced, with small healthy snacks between. a handful of grapes or almonds work well. blueberries are fabulous. if the medicine your doctor recommended was metformin, you should probably take it... after your hypoglycemia levels out. it protects some of the organs that diabetes threatens. try to get the time release kind. as long as you have hypoglycemia, carry a couple of hard candies in your pocket, and/or try to maintain access to a small carton of orange juice. that will keep you from fainting or even going into shock. be careful: one thing i have noticed about hypoglycemics is that one way they keep themselves from passing out is to get the adrenaline going, which means getting really mad, whether or not there is something maddening going on. if you are getting mad and yelling at someone, you're likely in need of a hard candy! g

How do you deal with nosy people?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

nope, you weren't rude at all. "why do you ask?" is a legitimate question, if uttered without malice. g

Hi What's happening when I see a response to a comment and a username, but nothing else?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

this has been happening to me too, along with another phenomenon: while i am perfectly capable of making my own typoes without the help of a glitchy system, i know for a fact that i have not left out the word "to" in an entire post, and when i go to edit, there is also an extra space where the word should be. it's as if the site just doesn't like the word "to"! occasionally i see words of mine changed in ways that make me wonder whether i typoed or whether my post was the victim of a secret, ungrammatical edit. g

The Case for Dark Matter in the Universe

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

it's amazing how despite so much evidence that dark matter exists and so little (well, NONE!) that any gods do (i am not saying that the two issues are related), lack of proof prevents people from accepting the possibility of dark matter, but lack of proof doesn't prevent people from absolutely believing in the god(s) of their choice. no one is suggesting we accept dark matter on faith, but if you talk religion, faith is the ticket! okay i shouldn't be amazed. dark matter is everywhere but gray matter is in short supply. meanwhile, gravity is pulling me back to bed for maybe another three hours. i may dream about smbh. g

Curious about others' path toward atheism.

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i find my experience different from most here, and i guess i should feel lucky. i was never a christian, i wasn't raised religiously within judaism, despite always being imbued with a strong sense of jewish identity, and when i realized that there were no gods, this was not traumatic. it never occurred to me to tell my parents about it. i wouldn't have been afraid to do so; it just never crossed my mind that they'd be interested. i didn't even know whether they believed in any gods, themselves! so i never had to pretend anything, nor would i have done so (i'm stubborn!) and yet i understand that others have gone through... um... hell, i guess! (we really are stuck in our language, aren't we?) g

What makes you choose the poitics you support?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

at first i was a democrat because that's what i heard in the house, but that didn't last long. oh, i remained a democrat; i mean that my reason for being one changed. at 15, the same age at which i became an atheist, and for the same reason i became an atheist, my being a democrat took on its own life, even though i wasn't old enough to vote. that is the year i questioned everything. some things withstood the questioning. my political bent was one of them. some didn't. god didn't. but why did i decide that this was the road for me? because although the following might be a cliché, it is also largely true: republicans don't care about people in trouble until they themselves are in trouble, or someone in the family is. it has to happen to them to become real. "this happened to me." democrats think, "this shouldn't happen to ANYONE." i guess it's a matter of empathy. (by the way, i never went to a religious school, and i wasn't raised as a christian, either.) g

So,religious people actually,find the word atheist offensive,why?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

ignorance. fear. a certain comfort people find in being the 'us" in "us vs. them." g

Ain’t No Grasshoppers Here!

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

not dying yet. g

What is your favorite breakfast cereal?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i don't like commercial breakfast cereal. not cold cereal, anyway. well, unsweetened granola, but rarely. cream of rice or oatmeal or grits. usually i have regular food for breakfast! g

Ok.

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i fidget with my fingers when i am trying to sleep, rubbing my thumb against my forefinger for example. i think i use my nails, but gently. half the time i don't know i'm doing it. when i realize it, i stop... until i forget. g

Who do you get along with better?

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i get along with nice people better than with nasty people. gender doesn't enter into it. g

Intimidation

genessa comments on Sep 5, 2018:

i've been considered intimidating. i am not sure why -- maybe because i speak my mind, such as it is. i don't think i am seriously intimidated by any people. g

Is there such a thing as "cultural identity"?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Being a jewish atheist, i have to attribute my affinity for the religion of my people to something; indeed, how can i say "my people" otherwise? although there are aspects of the religion itself i like (it's humanistic, especially compared to, say, christianity) my affinity is mostly for the culture. so if there is no culture, what am i attracted to? it can't JUST be the food (don't take away my lox, though!) oh, and i manage at the same time to be a citizen of the world. having and identifying with a culture doesn't have to be exclusionary; indeed, one can identify with more than one culture at once! circles can connect without being concentric or identical. g

Why I dig Cats.[facebook.com]

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

I dig cats because they are superior to humans, much smarter than i am, and still manage to love me! g

Okay.

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Assuming that it will end, and i do assume that, for myself and others, i do not know how to get rid of the dread. is the fact that something you dread will happen unless there is a god a good reason to believe there is a god? that is a little like believing you're going to win the lottery because you're afraid you won't be able to pay the rent. wanting or needing something doesn't make that something happen, and dreading something doesn't prevent it. so i can't give you a date for the disappearance of your dread of death. i dread it in my way as well, and i still believe there are no gods and there is no afterlife. g

What is your biggest fear?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

I can't choose one, but muslim extremists aren't on MY list lol. christian extremists are, but that's covered by rightwing nuts. i think i am afraid of getting sick with no one to take care of me, while my guy with alzheimer's has no one to take care of him once he loses me. g

How do you address people that are acquaintances but you don't know their name?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Haha a third post from me -- sorry, it's late and i am not thinking clearly. if you know you don't know that person, instead of using a term, and if you don't just want to ask the person's name, introduce yourself! most people will respond to that with their own names. notable exception: harriet jones, intermittent character from doctor who, whose self-introduction (until her death) as an mp, then as the prime minister of the uk, then as the ex-pm, inevitably evoked (as a running joke) "yes, we know who you are." g

How do you address people that are acquaintances but you don't know their name?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

It occurs to me you may be looking for a word to use rather than a way to apologize or ask. but i don't think i have ever considered using a word such as the ones you've rejected (brother, sister) -- maybe that's just not how i think. i really would just ask for the name, unless i could get his/her attention without doing so (making eye contact, for example). i'd probably still ask. (of course if someone was about i could ask instead "hey, what's her name?" in which case that would be more discreet!) g

How do you address people that are acquaintances but you don't know their name?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

I generally say something like "i am rubbish with names. i'm sorry. i've forgotten yours." they don't have to know i never knew their names. i am uncertain enough in this situation that i don't know whether i've forgotten or never knew, but i don't think a detail like that matters so much. it's my way of apologizing for not knowing it, whether or not i once knew it, and at the same time asking for it (implied). g

Share a link to a song that you like. Must have been released in the last five years.

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9FzVhw8_bY g

Share a link to a song that you like. Must have been released in the last five years.

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7soNPnsebPs g

Following on from someone's recent post about 15 books that have stuck with you.

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Buffalo springfield again incidental music from egmont (by beethoven) -- maurice abravanel, utah symphony, netania davrath sgt pepper's lonely hearts club band -- beatles the naughty nineties -- beatrice kay kiln house -- fleetwood mac chicken skin music -- ry cooder music from the age of discovery -- waverly consort below the salt -- steeleye span ravel's piano concerto in g/prokofiev's piano concerto #3 -- oh boy, have not physically seen this for decades, purple label, possibly peter frankl on piano? everybody knows this is nowhere -- neil young live dead -- grateful dead workingman's dead -- grateful dead american beauty -- grateful dead have moicy -- michael hurley, unholy modal rounders, jeffrey fredericks and the clamtones there are many, many, MANY more but i have reached 15 so i'll stop there. and that hurts because after the gold rush (neil young) should be on there too. g

Paranormal beliefs?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

It depends on to what you attribute the paranormal occurrences. if you find a scientific explanation, or if you're not a scientist but you expect there is a scientific explanation even if you don't personally know what that is, that's different from just plain believing in, say, ghosts. i met a poltergeist once and i STILL don't believe in poltergeists! i just don't have another word for it to replace "poltergeist." so what shall i make of that? i have to say "i don't know what it was but i experienced it." i refuse to attribute a meaning to it that implies the existence of an afterlife or a supreme being or beings, but i am tethered to the limits of language. g

Always be grateful 😊

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Not to be playing devil's advocate (what a phrase!) but in seriousness, i have to ask, grateful to whom? the whole concept of generalized gratitude, as opposed to gratitude to someone specific, has long bothered me. it implies a willful force to whom/which to be grateful. as an atheist, i can't buy that. it is cool to be glad about good things, but grateful? GENERALLY grateful, not grateful TO someone? nope, that doesn't work for me. g

When did you first doubt religion?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

My realization that the personal god to whom i sometimes spoke, as to an invisible friend, was fictional came at the age of 15. i didn't think of it as doubting religion. i hadn't been raised to be religious; we were secular jews. i still self-identify as a jew. yes, that sounds funny, since judaism is a religion and involves worshiping a god. i still like the inherent humanism (and ritual, and music, and omg FOOD) of the religion of my people. so culturally i am a jew. however, i have been an atheist since the age of 15, and i don't see my attraction to and (minimal) involvement with my culture as a threat to that. g

What is it that makes religion so attractive to many people?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Well, i see it as a kind of mental and even moral (loaded word) laziness. people like religion because it relieves them from having to think for themselves. g

How against religion are you?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Against it for me? one hundred percent. against it for people who believe in something i think is silly but are not harming anyone? they're entitled. against it for people who push their religion on others, whether as mildly as blessing me on a bus or as virulently as shooting abortion doctors or trying to legislate religious concepts into secular law? consider me ferocious. g

Face-Palm: Some theists really are THAT stupid.

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Yes, on a personal level i have noticed this. g

Those of us who favor critical thinking and arguments based on scientific evidence should avoid ...

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Religious belief is not in and of itself a mental disorder BUT religious fervor CAN be a mental disorder. think of it this way: not liking to step on cracks in the sidewalk is not a mental disorder. getting upset when others do because you truly believe that they are murdering their mothers IS a mental disorder. religions were not invented by priests to control the masses but religion developed in such a way that priests, or kings, or emperors, or popes, early on learned to use it to control the masses. irreligious people are not by nature more moral than religious people BUT there is an argument to be made that when irreligious people and religious people do the same good things, or refrain from doing the same bad things, the former have better motivations. religions are not tolerant or intolerant; their advocates and followers are. some religions preach more tolerance than others. irreligious people are free of the intolerance of intolerant religions, but they are not free of their personal intolerances. that may make some interesting statistics, because that does decrease the likelihood of an atheist's intolerance, but it's certainly not a rule. religions ARE the top cause of violence in history, and probably in the future too. in what way is this a myth? hitler's, stalin's and mao's motivations were not religious, it is true, although in hitler's case he and his henchpersons had their own religion, which included all kinds of weird ideas about cro magnon man, aryanism and astrology, to name a few elements. still, for the most part, these villains USED religion and motivated others with it, rather than being motivated, themselves, by it. g

Inherited qualities.?

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

I think a lot of what i learned from my parents, both good and bad, they taught me without knowing they were doing so. i think they taught me to appreciate diversity with some consciousness of what they were doing but they mostly led by example. an exception would be the time my dad got mad at me for using the term "china marker" when i asked for one (i was editing film and that is a common tool for that). he told me that this was a phrase that hearkened back to the time when the chinese were so discriminated against, much as were jews, that (in the case of both ethnicities) since no one would hire them, they had to start their own businesses, and the chinese tended to go into the laundry business. they used laundry pens. my father was incorrect on this count, actually. the term "china marker" simply refers to a pen that can write on porcelain, or china. but his reaction to my request made a lasting impression on me regarding the use of language to hurt other people -- how not to do that. when people complain about pc, i think, why do people need to be TAUGHT not to hurt one another? why is the offended party the one in the wrong? if we are raised to see each other as valuable humans, we don't need to be TOLD not to call each other names. off the top of my head, i can think of two lessons my mother had to impart that stuck with me, and by which she consciously meant to teach. one was what i call the broken cup theory. if you have a guest and you have two cups and one cup is broken, you take the broken cup and give the visitor the good cup. i guess it was a lesson about not being selfish, or self-serving. the other was something i've since heard elsewhere but first heard from mom: "my right to swing my arm ends at your nose." that probably needs no explanation! g

From the mouth, and mind, of my favorite nuclear physicist

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

I love him! g

How many other Religions have you explored as alternatives to your current beliefs and WHY.

genessa comments on Sep 4, 2018:

None. i was perfectly happy being jewish. i still am. i just don't believe any gods exist, which may sound funny some, but it's not that unusual. g

Role Model Role Call

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I like carl sagan and richard feynman. they were funny and intelligent and caring, and how can you not like a scientist who wears a headband while playing bongos and chanting "juice juice juice, orange juice"? how can you not like a scientist who goes into detail about the fate of hypatia, and makes us feel as if a foremother of ours was murdered -- and make us cry, too, for the library of alexandria? and they didn't preach their atheism. they didn't preach. they taught us to see the world as it is. the fact is, that's a world without god, and clear vision shows that. their clarity shows that. they didn't have to say it. g

How against religion are you?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I look with pity upon believers, more or less depending on the degree of delusion. however, there are also people whose hair styles or clothing i find ugly, and i will fight to the death for their right to have whatever terrible taste they have. likewise people have the right to follow their religions, however stupid i might find those religions. the problem is, some of those people have decided that their religions require them to force ME to adhere to its rules, or even swear allegiance to it. they want religion taught as science, they want their religion's prayer performed in schools (they'd be horrified if other people's religion's prayers were performed there!) and they want ME to behave as if i were part of their religion, even though i am clearly not. i am not just a little bit against this; i am against it as strongly as i can be against anything. g

Are atheist as racist as religious people?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Being an atheist is not a protection against having other flaws; it is no guarantee of being a good person. however, since religion is so often used as an excuse for racism, among other bad thought processes and bad behaviors, it is likely true that a higher percentage of christians than of atheists are racists. in addition, anyone who lives with societal rejection has a better chance of reacting with more empathy and inclusion (again, it's not a guarantee). g

Any othet atheist who love gospel music

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Gospel i like. old-timey music, including some baptist music, i love: stuff like "i'll fly away" and "when i can read my titles clear" and even "amazing grace." good stuff. not only am i an atheist, i have never been a christian! but music is music. g

Would you raise your children religious just to fit in?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I don't do ANYTHING to fit in, least of all abuse chldren. g

How can I help my son dealing with religious questions from his friends?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

The problem isn't the questions. it's the bullying. it needs to be addressed as bullying, and a third-grader can't deal with that by saying the right things alone. there are things he can say that might or might not make it better, but a higher power (no i don't mean god lol) needs to be contacted. meanwhile, he could answer with "that's very personal." g

When to switch primarily identifying as an Agnostic to Atheist?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I don't worry much about labels, but if you want to be accurate about what you believe and don't want to make a long explanation when asked, choose the word that best describes what you think about how you feel. don't choose the label first. find out how you feel first. g

How did religion affect you personally?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I was never religious, and i certainly was never christian. being jewish in a largely christian world has certainly taken its toll, though it never occurred to me that i didn't want to be jewish; as an atheist, i still self-identify, as well, as a jew. i got beaten up, yelled at, called names, banned from other children's homes, had things thrown at me, and as an adult been denied at least one job, asked to change my name at another job, and more, for being jewish; i've never had that kind of treatment for being an atheist (well, there is no such thing as an atheist surname, right? on the other hand, i am open about it!) it is specifically christians who have dissed me in various ways for being jewish. more and more, i see christians as delusional; i think that is because christians are becoming more and more delusional! g

If you could live anywhere in the world except your homeland, where would that be?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I am an american and i spent a decade in japan, but if i could live anywhere in the world right now, i might choose france. ideally i'd like to have my own island, something temperate, but that's not going to happen! g

Should an atheist study world religions or not?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

An atheist who is interested in world religions should study world religions. an atheist who is interested in ethnomusicology should study ethnomusicology. there is no reason why an atheist couldn't or shouldn't study what interests him or her. learning is cool. g

I got into a discussion a few days ago with a religious person who had said, "everything happens for...

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Your interlocutor confuses intention with causality. everything has a cause. that's not the same as having a reason. if you do not believe in a supreme being, then you do not believe the causality is the result of intention, and you do not believe in the possibility of such an intention at any rate. and even if everything DID happen for a reason, how would that justify everything that happened? i am surprised she couldn't answer you, though. i would've thought she'd fall back on the tired old cop-out "god works in mysterious ways." the while universe works in ways that are still, to us, largely mysterious, and whether or not we ever understand it all, or even most of it, the universe will chug along. it doesn't demand our belief, our faith, our understanding, our deliberate ignorance or any other thing. it isn't as sentient entity and it doesn't need to be prayed too, nor does it demand acceptance, so if we can change bits of it for (what we consider to be) the better, we're not betraying some sacred "reason." ask that confused person: "if everything happens for a reason, then we have brains and hands and willpower for a reason. with these tools we can change things for the better. we have this ability for a reason. you are defying your god's will by lazily ignoring his gifts." (sometimes you have to address folks from within their chosen reality, regardless of how well you know it's fantasy.) g

Could you stay isolated for five days in total isolation as an asocial experiment?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Except for being disabled and needing help with some physical stuff, yes. i would have no problem emotionally with that. g

Excluding sex or bathing, what activities have you done naked?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Unless i am cold or have visitors, i do everything in the house naked. i just don't wear clothing in the house. my fiancé and i went to a clothing-optional resort in jamaica and i just loved it. i loved being naked outdoors. it was so liberating! it's certainly the only way i could ever enjoy playing volleyball (and it has to be in the swimming pool, too!) g

What has being a skeptic cost you?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I never was much into dating and i certainly never dated anyone religiousl i would never have been attracted to a religious person and i suspect no religious person would have been attracted to me. my fiancé believes in god in a general, vague way, but is not religious. i have never lost a job over my atheism, though i have certainly lost at least one for being jewish. i have never lost a friend over my atheism, though i might be about to lose one if she doesn't stop praying to jesus over my fiancé; she KNOWS he's jewish! how rude! i have never run for office so i have not had to deal with the law some states have that forbid atheists from running for office. my family was not religious so i never had to deal with rejection for my atheism; indeed, i didn't even know what my parents believed (or didn't) until well after i had left home. i guess all in all i've been lucky. g

Do you ever miss the religious life?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I have never experienced the religious life, not even during my (self-described) "religious" year. all i did that was different that year was go to shul (which was not how my family rolled) and briefly study talmud. i don't think on the grand scale of things i could even at that time be described as religious; i just wanted to learn. what i learned was to question everything (actually, questioning is a legitimate part of judaism; jewish "faith" isn't blind faith, as it appears to be in christianity). so... i don't have a religious life to miss. g

How do you tell religious people that you're an atheist?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Sometimes i say "i am an atheist," sometimes i say "i hold no gods" and sometimes i say "i'm jewish," depending on the context (i am a jewish atheist but that's hard for some people to understand, and i would hate for folks to think judaism was itself an atheistic religion -- too many christians already hate jews!) i don't hide who i am. g

Do you celebrate religious holidays?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Sure. say no to good food? no way! also, most jewish holidays (those are the ones i celebrate) are about either some historical event (with a little miracle mixed in, but that can be taken as allegorical) or, in the case of the high holy days, the new year (by the jewish calendar -- why should we mark time by someone else's religion?) and the day of atonement (which is about interpersonal relationships). we have a holiday for celebrating the harvest, and one for trees -- trees are cool. and did i mention food? atheists eat too! and we even have a holiday that never mentions god once! (it's purim, and it's about a brave woman.) oh that reminds le: happy labor day, everyone! (nope, no god in that one either!) g

What is your response when people threaten you with religious punishments? (i.e. Hell/Jahannam)

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I tend to laugh, or roll my eyes. but then, i don't get out much, and i don't tend to hang out with religious people, so it doesn't happen a lot. g

What moral code do you follow now that you are non-religious?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I don't have a moral code. i have ethics. i always had them. i had them while i was being raised as a secular jew, i had them during my religious year, and i have had them since realizing, at the age of 15, that i was an atheist. what does disbelief in gods have to do with moral codes? are people only ethical if an invisible, omnipotent entity tells them (but not by tweet, for some reason) they should be? and which moral code would that be, anyway? there are lots of religions, lots of gods. should i follow zeus' moral code? he was a petulant rapist. how about loki, who wasn't so nice either? i don't need a code book to know right from wrong, and i don't need to be threatened with eternal damnation to care about right and wrong. g p.s. regarding "now that you are non-religious": lots of people have always been irreligious. not every atheist used to be religious, those who were may be more ethical now that they're not. i've seen some pretty unethical behavior from self-described christians, i must say!

Am I the only atheist that doesn’t smoke pot?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I don't think this has ever been studied, but i suspect there is no noncoincidental connection between atheism and pot smoking. (note that there is no bible that mentions marijuana.) g

As an agnostic/athiest how do you go about getting married or having a wedding?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I have never done that but my guy and i are planning to have a commitment ceremony. it will be performed by a rabbi, possibly in a synagogue. the rabbi will know that i am an atheist (my guy is not religious but does believe, in a vague way, in some kind of god). the ceremony will be something that pleases both of us. it won't bother me to be "hitched" (sort of) that way. i'm okay with it. i don't feel threatened by it. g

Do you "dress your age"?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Funny you should ask that -- funny to me, anyway -- because just the other day i was thinking about my decade in japan, and something one of my students said about my habitual attire. since i was a teacher, i was expected not to wear jeans, which would've been comfy, so i dressed in highly color-coordinated land's end cotton knits. a typical outfit for me was a matching skirt and blazer in some bright color (often red or yellow), with a contrasting colored shirt, knee socks of one of those two bright colors and a matching beret, along with chinese cotton maryjanes. the student i was just thinking of commented that i was, by dressing that way, trying to look young. now, first of all, i was in my 30s when he said that (but continued to dress the same way into my 40s), so i wasn't feeling particularly old, and he was about 20, give or take, so i wasn't even that much older than he! second of all, i didn't know anyone, of any age, who dressed the way i did. i was just trying to satisfy the dress code in a minimal way while remaining comfortable and avoiding drabness. if i was trying to look young, i was certainly not trying to look like any actual young person. i think i was just trying to look like myself. but in japan, once you hit 40 you dress in gray, because you're officially old or something. i'm 66 now and i have one gray dress which i like because it has pockets, but most of my clothing is still pretty colorful (and a lot less formal than my above-described outfits, which you surely realize were not formal at all). i like a low neckline, not because i am trying to flash some flesh but because i don't like being choked by high necklines. is that bad because i am in my 60s? too bad; i don't think i should have to choke because of how many years i've been alive. i also don't wear underwear. am i trying to dress younger than my age? no -- i am trying to dress in a way that doesn't make me want to scream. i wear skirts and dresses because i find them comfortable. do i now eschew jeans? no -- but i'm fat so they don't fit, and i also have a high personal thermostat, so i would rather have a nice breeze going most of the time instead of being all covered up. does this have to do with age in some way? maybe... in that i am old enough not to care whether other people think i am dressing my age! g

Reason for life ?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

People have been asking this since people had the ability to ask anything at all, and so far, no one has come up with an answer that works for everyone. every individual has a different reason to live, although obviously as a species we have that instinct, and have doubtless had it since BEFORE we could even ask. our particular level of sentience complicates things. as a species we live to reproduce so we can live so we can reproduce, but as individuals we may choose not to reproduce and still live valuable lives (and not everyone agrees about what is or isn't valuable). people can tell you what motivates them; no one can tell you why (or whether) you should study, work or do something (or nothing) else. even if you yourself never figure it out, you may still achieve some kind of peace regarding that, and even if you don't do THAT, you may still feel that life is valuable without knowing the details of why. i am not copping out, honest i'm not, when i say it is up to you. it is up to each of us. g

Why during christ lifetime wasn't there any mention of him by any scholar of the times

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Gentle reminder (not just to you but to others commenting) that christ is not a name but a title and that christ is not a good translation of messiah (which does not mean saviour). that being said, it is quite possible he never existed. if he DID exist, he was jewish, and a common expression of his time to indicate a very pious man was "a real son of god." this was not meant to be taken literally. however, when paul visited greece for the purpose of... well, who KNOWS what his real purpose was, but recruiting, at any rate, he was visiting a country whose religion had REAL sons of god; zeus was wont to rape and impregnate human women (what a nice guy!) so if paul used this expression to describe jesus (a greek name, by the way), they surely took that literally. they also took to heart paul's very unjewish attempts to convert them to judaism. "you want us to cut the skin off of our WHAT?" and "you DO know that tourism won't be a part of the greek economy for almost two millennia and meanwhile what we do here is fish (for nonkosher shellfish) and raise pigs, right?" so paul, faced with a dilemma, decided you don't have to be jewish to enjoy a good saviour (actually you CAN'T be jewish and enjoy a good saviour, since the concept of someone else's saving you from your sins is alien to jewish beliefs). christianity is born! well, conceived, anyway. so maybe jesus (not his real name) existed and maybe he didn't, but he sure wasn't what he was later purported to be. that in itself could be why he was not written about in his lifetime; he just wasn't all that important. g

New roommate is a very devout Muslim.

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

If you don't like his constantly laying his religion on you, why would it be right to lay anything on him besides a request to stop? you haven't said whether you've even asked him. from the fixer: "respect is what you have to give to get." you don't have to respect his religion to respect his right to have it; he isn't at the moment respecting your right NOT to have it, but you could ask him to do so. how about "i know you believe in islam and that's fine. i don't believe in islam, and i am not going to change. i'd rather discuss something else. how about we respect each other's beliefs AND each other's right to privacy?" g

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident.

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Hmm, this reminds me of trump's claim that he is the only one who can fix america. (and now look what a fix we're in!) ego, much? g

What would it be?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Funding for my dream project, an equine therapy shelter for abused women and children. g

Ridiculous Rumors

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

My sister told mutual friends and perhaps family members i was harassing her with hang-up calls. i actually don't know her phone number; we're estranged. i will never know whether she was receiving hang-up calls and assumed they were from me or whether she just felt like lying about me. i will also never know what else, if anything, she has said about me, or to whom. oh well! g

Is it worth it to go on

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I suspect it is worth it to go on, even if it doesn't feel that way now. that doesn't mean it'll be easy or painless. the one thing we know is that we're only alive for a short time and we're dead for a very long time afterwards, which obviates the need to hurry out of life. i think at the moment you're sheltering yourself. you feel tender and would bruise easily, emotionally speaking. if this is what you need to do, don't feel bad about it. if you have to hide, hide. i also think you're doing the right thing coming here, because that means despite your sheltering mode, you're also reaching out, and that can be expanded into the physical world when you're ready. unless you start hearing voices (or turning religious!) don't worry about your self-imposed isolation. if it feels right for you at the moment, even if it never did before, go with it. when you're ready to move on, you'll move on. g

Religion provides an extended brotherhood.

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I do not necessarily agree that religion provides an extended brotherhood. it sometimes provides that only by virtue of excluding others. anyway, irreligious folk do it all manner of ways, including but not limited to making lasting friendships, being close to their families, joining clubs and associations that have nothing to do with religion, being active in their neighborhoods, and/or running for office. g

I can't get rid of my fear of hell

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

If there is a just god, and i say this as an atheist so it's purely theoretical, then he doesn't punish people for not believing in him. if there is an unjust god, you could go to hell because he didn't like the color of your shoelaces. i hope that considering this reduces your fear :-)) g

Does any one else do this?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Yes but i have a cure. i play the initial game. i try to think of all the famous folks i can with a certain set of initials. sometimes i vary it by thinking of people with the same first name. it sounds weird but it works. g

Does a disbelief in a god mean a disbelief in good and evil spirits?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I personally do not disbelieve in a god. i disbelieve in all gods. that goes for the tooth fairy too, santa claus, unicorns, ghosts, spirits, odin, zeus and trolls (except internet trolls). but that's just me. i can't vouch for buddhists or taoists. g

Does anybody read comics?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I have read one comic book in my life and i can't find it again, not even in lists of classic comic books. if memory serves (well, i was about nine years old, and waiting to have my tonsils out) it was a green lantern comic, purchased in the hospital gift shop, and it was about a boy who had a piece of alien metal or rock in his head that made all his nightmares come true. that's it. that was my one comic book. g

“Revenge is a confession of pain.”

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Oh wait, i just remembered someone's taking revenge on me, and it had to do with religion too! how could i forget that? i worked for a summer, just for one month really, at a toys r us in maryland. i was planning to go back to school in the fall, but needed a job for that month. for the first two weeks we had a gruff but kind manager. then i don't know if he quit or was transferred or promoted, but he was replaced by a slender fellow with an accent i only in retrospect recognize as being georgian; this was pre-jimmy-carter and i had not heard a georgian accent before. he dressed all in black and his name was jimmy black, too. on his very first day he was helping us stock clerks fill the book shelves with new arrivals and he asked us something that even at the age of 19 i knew he shouldn't have been asking us: did we believe in god? i told him i agreed with mark twain, who said he was glad that god did not exist, because if he existed, surely he was a malign thug. this did not sit well with jimmy black. he persecuted me for the next two weeks, and even after i properly gave my week's notice, he fired me on my last day, just to deprive me of a few bucks. that was his revenge for my being an atheist, and answering his improper question honestly. g

“Revenge is a confession of pain.”

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

If pain such a terrible thing to confess? is being in pain a crime (or a sin, or whatever bad thing one might imagine)? hmm, vengeance against me? i am not sure i have experienced such a thing, unless my estranged sister's habit of lying about me is based on revenge. since we are estranged, i have not asked. g

Went to church this morning with my family.

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I have never been a christian but i can say i was a stubborn youth, and if i had been born into a christian family who tried to take me to a church service -- well, let's say more than one -- i'd have balked. after a while i didn't even go to bar mitzvahs, and insisted on being left behind. (i now regret that; i might have kept in contact with more pretty cool relatives, once we all grew up.) but a couple times a year, i accompany my still-believing fiancé to shul, for the high holidays (coming up) or when they're going to read his dead parents' names. i don't mind. the sermons are very humanistic and i find them interesting. i like hearing the shofar blown. the quotations in the back of the prayer book are extremely thought-provoking. the prayers themselves get repetitious, and of course there's this whole god thing... but i can tolerate that. i just think of it as metaphorical, or perhaps a discussion of a fictional character. we don't read stuff condoning slavery. we read about how to be better to each other and take care of the world. okay, it says do it because this god thing wants us to, but just because a fictional character wants it, that doesn't make recyling, or helping the poor, or ending slavery (a large part of the point of passover) wrong. so i don't suffer as i might in a church, even though i am an atheist and hold no gods. i suppose somewhere there is a boring rabbi droning on about something in which i'm not interested. i have not met him or her yet. i'm lucky! then again, as i say, a couple times a year, not only to make my guy happy but because if it's not something i am compelled to do but something that is legitimately interesting, that helps. every week? no, i couldn't do that. make the sabbath? i would have to say a lot of god stuff in which i did not believe; i won't do that. it would be hard to see it as metaphorical under those circumstances. i feel sorry for you having the experience in church that you have, and hope you gain your freedom soon. g

I received a message today from the CEO of a Christian youth program nonprofit.

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

If it is a sincere offer, yes, politely decline. it won't injure anyone and they won't wonder, and can go hire someone else. g

How convinced are you?

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I am definitely convinced, but it's not an important issue to me in and of itself. it wouldn't even be something i thought about were it not for religionists acting so very aggressively, especially in politics, and were it not for my being challenged all the time over it. it sure seems to rile people up to think i live my life without bowing to some invisible entity in which they fervently believe. their fervor stokes mine, but not in the sense that i will become more atheistic. i mean, there is no such thing as "more atheistic." either i believe or i don't. i don't. that's all. i don't have an atheist's outfit, or sing atheist songs, or go to atheist meetings (unless this counts!) or think about it that much except in the context of sites like this, to which i belong BECAUSE of that challenge, and BECAUSE of religious aggression. otherwise... i just live my life, ya know? g

I figured out long ago that morals were how you behaved when you thought god was watching.

genessa comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I have for most of my life thought of the difference between morals and ethics that way too. i have loosened up some, recently, since i understand that when some people mention morals they mean ethics. (others don't.) i try to be understanding lol. meanwhile, i don't have a president. there is an imposter in the white house who has taken her place. coping? i cry a lot. i think i have trump anxiety syndrome. i can't stand the sound of his voice, and that's not the worst thing about him. (the worst thing about him is that he is in the white house, and he was bad enough before he got there.) he calls himself a christian and my experience of christians, especially lately, is that although he THINKS he's lying, this is the one thing he is telling the truth about! he does act like the rabid christians i see. he is a hypocrite, just as they are. he is a liar, just as they are. he doesn't mind hurting people because of his delusions (different from theirs but similarly enacted). he thinks he knows everything and he knows nothing (just as they so think). yeah, he is a fine modern christian. i am so glad i have never been a christian! g

For those who have done, or wish to, travel. How did you decide where to go?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

I have a question. i responded to this post and received notification from the site that my comment had been denied. i was not given a specific reason, but rather a list of possible reasons, none of which seemed to me to apply to my comment. there was a link to come here and edit, so i did so... and i see my post here TWICE! did i accidentally submit it twice? did i submit it thrice and have the third one denied? can y'all see my comment? it begins "when i was quite young" (except the w is initial-capped lol). oh and i am seeing someone else's comment thrice! this is so weird. i am new here and don't want to break the rules. first order of business: is my comment there, however many times? please tell me! thanks. g

For those who have done, or wish to, travel. How did you decide where to go?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

When i was quite young, only 23 or so, i took my first paid vacation, all alone, everything up to me! i didn't like flying so i calculated how long i could spend on a train and still have time to spend at the destination. my choices, leaving from d.c., were minot, north dakota, or new orleans. they both sounded exotic, but i chose the latter. i thought it would be pretty relaxing. turns out the superbowl was there that year.... ha! but i still had a wonderful time, including on the train rides (best grits i ever tasted! also the first grits i ever tasted!) decades later, when i lived in japan, i chose the following route: paris, brittany (certain cities, including rennes, as i wanted to travel out from there to find merlin's grave in broceliande, now known as paimpont), normandy, a ferry to cork, off to glengariff, dingle, galway and inishmore (one of the aran islands) to climb dun aengus, all by bus until i got back to galway, then a train ride across ireland to dublin, a ferry ride to wales to visit portmeirion, then down to cornwall, across england through devon, a visit to stonehenge, and finally to a weekend in london before heading home (to japan). well, that was an eight-week trip, all planned out in advance, reservations all made and everything, and without the internet too -- but i broke my arm a week and a half into it. i bought a rolling cart and emptied one of my suitcases into it, packed one suitcase into the other, strapped that to the cart and proceeded with the rest of my plans! sometimes i had to as strangers to cut up my food, but i didn't let that bother me! some strange tips coming from an atheist: 1. in london, on some weekdays, the parish church of st. martin-in-the-fields has free chamber music concerts as long as you arrive before 1:05, after which you have to pay for a ticket. on weekends there is a dandy little flea market behind the church. (the camden flea market is HUGE -- i forget whether it's just on weekends. maybe.) 2. in dublin there is a jewish-irish museum. it's really neat! i will say that when i went to brittany, i forget the name of the city i visited but i like to visit graveyards, so i went to one... and ran back out of its gate to catch my breath. those are BIG ol' crosses on those graves! i mean really, really, REALLY BIG! they did freak me out a little. in edinburgh (different trip) there is an old church where you can see thomas da quincy's grave. i don't mind churches as architecture; i am much more interested in synagogues, as architecture and as a representation, too, of my heritage. oh, and if you like jmw turner, last time i looked there was a floor of the tate gallery in london permanently dedicated to his work. start at the beginning; it's competent but quite ...

Which are your favourite cities/towns to visit?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

To visit? not los angeles, but i loved living there! to visit, hmm. magome (in japan). likewise kyoto. portmeirion, wales. dingle, ireland. paris! i loved new orleans both times i visited but i fear it may have changed post-katrina. i have not had a chance to go see. i love looking at the mississippi, listening to the jazz, eating the warm beignets, just wandering. i have not visited prague or florence and i wish i could go, but we're strapped. ah well. g

What's been your favorite vacation?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

I am disabled and don't work (well, i am not employed and do not work for monetary compensation; i still cook dinner, try to keep my alzheimer's-afflicted fiancé from hurting himself or driving me insane, and other suchlike, but that doesn't count). still, i could use a vacation from my everyday life. i haven't had one in ages. when i did have vacations, though, i had so many wonderful ones it would be hard to choose just one. on the list, in the top 10 i am sure, would be one of my trips to the uk, during which i spent a few days in london, where i hired a laptop; repaired by train to aberdeen and spent a month there, working on my still-unfinished novel. walking about communing with the cows, rescuing a muddy jacob sheep someone had tied up, looking for nessie on a rainy day, visiting the orkneys, and losing my favorite pen and finding a lost pin; traveling down to edinburgh for a week of its annual arts festival (have you ever seen "a midsummer night's dream" performed in ukrainian by actors wearing gigantic codpieces?) and then finishing up back in london for, oh i forget, a few days or maybe a week, before returning to my then-home in japan. that was a pretty good holiday altogether. i'd like to take more vacations with my fiancé but we're broke and he's... well, he could probably still travel and enjoy but i'd have to keep an eye on him. g

When I walked away from Christianity 30 years ago, I wasn't angry, I was sad.

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

i have never been christian, and i never walked away from judaism per se -- just the god part (which yes is central, but there is an underlying humanism, and besides, i could never walk away from lox! i love lox!) i wasn't scared but i was a little sad. god had been my imaginary friend, a kind of confidante, and now he was, i realized, as fictional (and not half as innocent) as oliver twist. i don't actually miss that, though. my sadness was fleeting, and mild at that. but you see, i was not raised religiously. i knew i was jewish, but i never found out whether my folks believed in god or not, and never thought to ask, until i was an adult, living three thousand miles from them, and someone asked me what my parents believed. i had to call them long distance and ask in order to answer that question. when i did ask it, neither of them asked it of me, it now occurs to me. neither said "how about you?" it just wasn't an important issue to them (nor to me, but i was curious). i am sure had i been raised religiously i would have had a different kind of experience realizing at the age of 15 that i could not go on thinking there was a god. it wasn't traumatic at all, but it was certainly eye-opening. i can't long for ignorance; i suppose you can unlearn truth and embrace delusion, but i can't wish for that. g p.s. there is no sinning freely and asking for forgiveness in judaism lol so i would have a hard time embracing that concept; it's not there for me to return to, at any rate!

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post about mindfulness, awareness, and presence.

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

Yep. you know what i see overused (not irrelevantly to this topic)? "spirituality." what the hell is spirituality? does it mean you believe in ghosts? does it mean you can see people's auras? does it mean you believe in god, but god is a tree instead of a person, or that you have religion but it's one you made up and didn't give a name? and if someone asks you if you're a spiritual person and you say no, why does that sound to them as if you're putting yourself down? g

The Humanist Dilemma: Is It Right—or Obligatory—to Mandate Basic Education for All?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

Your reasoning is sound. in addition, we are individuals and our individual rights are important, but we're also members of an organization, maybe more than one organization, certainly the civil organization we loosely refer to as "society" and by which we also sometimes mean our governmental structure -- our SELF-governmental structure (theoretically -- these days that's eroding fast). it is impossible for self-government (through representation in our case) to work with an ignorant, gullible populace, especially since predators can manipulate such a populace with ease -- manipulate them into anger and violence, as well as into voting and otherwise acting against their own self-interest. secular education is vital. if people want to indoctrinate their kids at home and at church with all kinds of supernatural crap, that's sad but they have that right. this makes it even MORE important to give kids the resources they need to withstand such influences, or at least push them into the background to the extent that they don't take precedence over practical matters. g

A friend from my bi-weekly atheist ladies Sunday brunch passed away this morning.

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

I am afraid that without having known her, i cannot speculate about how her atheism helped her to make the decisions she made. it's certainly possible. i myself am about to find out (in a couple weeks) whether or not i have uterine cancer, so i might have to make a decision like, or unlike, that made by your friend. i do not know what i will decide if i must indeed decide. i am sorry for your loss and your sadness. g

How much does it bother you when a person on the internet corrects your spelling, grammar, or misuse...

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

I can generally tell when someone has simply made a typo (or maybe dictated the post) and when a person actually doesn't know what a word means or how to spell it. the latter bothers me and since i am an ex-english teacher and still a writer, i might or might not resist the temptation to correct it. i admit that i am more likely to correct someone with whom i disagree than someone with whom i agree. that's probably wrong. too bad. sometimes someone will come back at me with a criticism of my lack of initial caps. well, i have arthritis in (among other places) my hands, and while i make initial caps in formal writing, i do not consider social media posting to be formal writing. g

Troubles because of freethinking and views expression?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

Nope. but i don't get out much lol. i was annoyed within the last year or two by a friend of a friend who, finding i am an atheist, assured me that atheism is a religion. i met her again this past june and she didn't bring it up again, so that was cool. however, at the same meeting, one of my fiancé's friends prayed jesusly over him at his birthday celebration (at a buffet) and that was HIGHLY annoying. that wasn't me being in trouble over expressing my views; that was her imposing her views on him. he's not an atheist, but we're jewish. no jesus for us! i think i was the only atheist there; two of our friends i think are not jewish but i don't know if they believe in some other religion. they haven't mentioned it. the rest of us were all jewish. everyone at the table was bothered by the performance. and this extravagant hands-on praying wasn't just a word or two. she went all extreme on us, and she had also brought along an evangelical friend of hers who had that glazed look in her eyes and that fixed smile -- you know the kind; you see it and the twilight zone theme starts playing in your head. they were out to bring someone home to jesus and to hell (literally) with anyone who tried to stop them (or stop them from wearing those weird smiles). the consequences she faced... were nothing at all, but we don't communicate much. the next time she contacts us, i intend to tell her off, as gently as i can. she KNOWS better. i think she might have been trying to impress her friend. g

Why do you reject the idea of religion?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

Religion, if i am defining it right, is an organized system of beliefs revolving around human interaction with a supreme being or beings. i don't believe in any such beings. therefore religion is not for me... with the caveat that the secular, reform judaism in which i was very loosely raised has humanistic elements, and damned good food, and interesting holidays, so i like it, but i am still an atheist, which, by the way, is not forbidden in judaism despite its revolving around aforementioned supreme being (noncorporeal and genderless, as it happens). it's not the IDEA of religion i reject. it's the BASIS for religion i reject. some of the details are horrific and others are cool, but in the end, without a supreme being, most religions really make no sense. some religions make no sense even WITH a supreme being, but that's another story! g