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Do you have experience with a parent with Alzheimer's/Dementia?
Sticks48 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
I haven't personally, but two of my close friends have recently gone through this with their mothers both of whom l knew. We had many conversations about this. The frustration for everyone is exhausting. It is an insidious disease. At times they turn into people you don't know. I am truly sorry this...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
Thanks, yeah. I'm a little miffed that others are talking around her and not to her about this. That's my feeling at least anyway. While she still has part of her mind intact, I want her to understand what is happening and pursue her own care in this matter. I knew how rough it was for my friend with her dad. I knew him well too, for years and years. He doesn't recall who I am at all, when it used to be, Hey there Grace, how is everything going? What are you girls up to (with the Irish accent).
Sticks48 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
I haven't personally, but two of my close friends have recently gone through this with their mothers both of whom l knew. We had many conversations about this. The frustration for everyone is exhausting. It is an insidious disease. At times they turn into people you don't know. I am truly sorry this...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
Thanks, yeah. I'm a little miffed that others are talking around her and not to her about this. That's my feeling at least anyway. While she still has part of her mind intact, I want her to understand what is happening and pursue her own care in this matter. I knew how rough it was for my friend with her dad. I knew him well too, for years and years. He doesn't recall who I am at all, when it used to be, Hey there Grace, how is everything going? What are you girls up to (with the Irish accent).
Do you have experience with a parent with Alzheimer's/Dementia?
Mike1947 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
Is it heredity,environment,food,water,and maybe air,or has the disease been around for a long time and given the term "Senile" and that was good enough? Many years ago,it was thought preparing food in Aluminum cookware caused the problems.
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
It seems there's been a lot that's proposed as a cause, even dietary fats that clog arteries in the brain. I don't recall anyone else in the family with the disease. Her brother had died early. Her sister as far as I know is doing pretty well. Their parents died relatively young by today's standards. Yeah, what part of it is just aging and what part a neurological disorder, who knows.
Mike1947 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
Is it heredity,environment,food,water,and maybe air,or has the disease been around for a long time and given the term "Senile" and that was good enough? Many years ago,it was thought preparing food in Aluminum cookware caused the problems.
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
It seems there's been a lot that's proposed as a cause, even dietary fats that clog arteries in the brain. I don't recall anyone else in the family with the disease. Her brother had died early. Her sister as far as I know is doing pretty well. Their parents died relatively young by today's standards. Yeah, what part of it is just aging and what part a neurological disorder, who knows.
Do you have experience with a parent with Alzheimer's/Dementia?
cobra3282000 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
I took care of my dad how had alzheimer's. It's not easy, best thing is make sure they are on the drugs that help slow the disease and there doctor can help with that of course, it was the hardest thing ever had to do. My father was a person with a super ass high IQ, American History Teacher ...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
@Louise1920 I've heard about the wanderings. My friend's dad sometimes took the car keys and drove somewhere and then not know where he was. He's at a care facility now, but he escaped twice from the supposedly secure residence. He was found once by the police wandering outside in mid-winter in just his pajamas and slippers. I really want the doctors to start dealing with this issue as soon as possible and not wait.
cobra3282000 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
I took care of my dad how had alzheimer's. It's not easy, best thing is make sure they are on the drugs that help slow the disease and there doctor can help with that of course, it was the hardest thing ever had to do. My father was a person with a super ass high IQ, American History Teacher ...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
@Louise1920 I've heard about the wanderings. My friend's dad sometimes took the car keys and drove somewhere and then not know where he was. He's at a care facility now, but he escaped twice from the supposedly secure residence. He was found once by the police wandering outside in mid-winter in just his pajamas and slippers. I really want the doctors to start dealing with this issue as soon as possible and not wait.
Do you have experience with a parent with Alzheimer's/Dementia?
Hermit comments on Jun 30, 2018:
My mom was diagnosed with Dementia a few years ago. We have a home health worker come to her home 3 days a week, and my sister and I share the responsibility of making her dinner and getting her to dr.’s appointments. She’s not allowed to drive anywhere. The amount of time I spend taking care of...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
That is a big issue. My dad has a problem with his eyesight and cannot drive obviously; he can barely walk around. My older brother is designated as a live in caregiver but he does very little in the way of care giving. Trying to get an outside caregiver in would be a challenge because my parents have refused outside help, especially strangers. We have been trying to get them to sell their house (worth close to $ 1 million) and move to a smaller more manageable space, but that has gone nowhere. My older brother lives with them and my dad worries about him, where he would go and how he would do on his own!!! I live a 14 hour drive away and obviously cannot simply visit anytime.
Hermit comments on Jun 30, 2018:
My mom was diagnosed with Dementia a few years ago. We have a home health worker come to her home 3 days a week, and my sister and I share the responsibility of making her dinner and getting her to dr.’s appointments. She’s not allowed to drive anywhere. The amount of time I spend taking care of...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
That is a big issue. My dad has a problem with his eyesight and cannot drive obviously; he can barely walk around. My older brother is designated as a live in caregiver but he does very little in the way of care giving. Trying to get an outside caregiver in would be a challenge because my parents have refused outside help, especially strangers. We have been trying to get them to sell their house (worth close to $ 1 million) and move to a smaller more manageable space, but that has gone nowhere. My older brother lives with them and my dad worries about him, where he would go and how he would do on his own!!! I live a 14 hour drive away and obviously cannot simply visit anytime.
Do you have experience with a parent with Alzheimer's/Dementia?
cobra3282000 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
I took care of my dad how had alzheimer's. It's not easy, best thing is make sure they are on the drugs that help slow the disease and there doctor can help with that of course, it was the hardest thing ever had to do. My father was a person with a super ass high IQ, American History Teacher ...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
At this point, I'm not sure I can laugh at the stuff she does. To me they are scary. My dad told me she woke up one night and asked where my younger brother was. Well, he's been living with his wife in their apartment for 15 years but my mom was worried that he hadn't come home yet. I saw her plug in an electric kettle to boil water. About 10 minutes later, she asked me and my aunts, Who boiled the water?. We had to tell her that she did. She didn't recall at all that she did. Luckily it's the kind that turns itself off when it's done boiling. I told her I worry she might turn on the stove and forget about it. She said she wouldn't and doesn't do that although my dad said that she had done that.
cobra3282000 comments on Jun 30, 2018:
I took care of my dad how had alzheimer's. It's not easy, best thing is make sure they are on the drugs that help slow the disease and there doctor can help with that of course, it was the hardest thing ever had to do. My father was a person with a super ass high IQ, American History Teacher ...
graceylou replies on Jun 30, 2018:
At this point, I'm not sure I can laugh at the stuff she does. To me they are scary. My dad told me she woke up one night and asked where my younger brother was. Well, he's been living with his wife in their apartment for 15 years but my mom was worried that he hadn't come home yet. I saw her plug in an electric kettle to boil water. About 10 minutes later, she asked me and my aunts, Who boiled the water?. We had to tell her that she did. She didn't recall at all that she did. Luckily it's the kind that turns itself off when it's done boiling. I told her I worry she might turn on the stove and forget about it. She said she wouldn't and doesn't do that although my dad said that she had done that.
So when you stare at a woman, for five seconds, and they say you are sexually harrasing them,then ...
graceylou comments on Jun 29, 2018:
There was a video, I think a UK one, that a friend shared on FB. It was about a woman in a bus and a man sitting a bit aways looking at her. Not like crazy ogling but that looking a bit longer than just a glance. The woman looked distressed. And another man was thinking whether he should do ...
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Surfpirate It would be on a case by case basis in terms of what is considered ogling. I don't like being painted as a victim just because I'm a woman. BTW, women stare at men too, and may be other women, making them uncomfortable. It makes it confusing to determine what kind of looking at another person constitute harassment. Where do you draw the line? A man cannot admire a woman in some way without it being seen as wrong? I think a woman knows when it's inappropriate type and amount of staring, when it's just harmless and can be ignored. We don't need other people telling us what we should consider wrong. And I'm not even going to comment on the part about men and women in consensual relationships.
graceylou comments on Jun 29, 2018:
There was a video, I think a UK one, that a friend shared on FB. It was about a woman in a bus and a man sitting a bit aways looking at her. Not like crazy ogling but that looking a bit longer than just a glance. The woman looked distressed. And another man was thinking whether he should do ...
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Surfpirate It would be on a case by case basis in terms of what is considered ogling. I don't like being painted as a victim just because I'm a woman. BTW, women stare at men too, and may be other women, making them uncomfortable. It makes it confusing to determine what kind of looking at another person constitute harassment. Where do you draw the line? A man cannot admire a woman in some way without it being seen as wrong? I think a woman knows when it's inappropriate type and amount of staring, when it's just harmless and can be ignored. We don't need other people telling us what we should consider wrong. And I'm not even going to comment on the part about men and women in consensual relationships.
Star has become Daddy’s girl and follows him when he goes out to take care of the horses.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Stevil Never had any major issues around my place since we moved out here 8 years ago. I would rather keep it that way. Wildlife have the right to be here too. Star would probably be manageable around wildlife. The One I don’t trust one bit is my Boston terrier/heeler mix. She has tried to take on my donkey though she’s under 40 lbs. She’s leashed outside of the fence at all times.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Stevil Never had any major issues around my place since we moved out here 8 years ago. I would rather keep it that way. Wildlife have the right to be here too. Star would probably be manageable around wildlife. The One I don’t trust one bit is my Boston terrier/heeler mix. She has tried to take on my donkey though she’s under 40 lbs. She’s leashed outside of the fence at all times.
Star has become Daddy’s girl and follows him when he goes out to take care of the horses.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Stevil I’m protective of my dogs not the other way around. Safer is better. She does wander a bit when not paid attention. Although she would come back when called. You just don’t know what she might find out there, what people throw on the ground.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Stevil I’m protective of my dogs not the other way around. Safer is better. She does wander a bit when not paid attention. Although she would come back when called. You just don’t know what she might find out there, what people throw on the ground.
Star has become Daddy’s girl and follows him when he goes out to take care of the horses.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Stevil Since we have horses and wildlife out here including bears and cougars she can’t always go out off leash. Sometimes we have to do work outside and can’t supervise her. She does have the other dogs to play with inside or in the fenced yard. The rest of my property is not fully fenced.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@Stevil Since we have horses and wildlife out here including bears and cougars she can’t always go out off leash. Sometimes we have to do work outside and can’t supervise her. She does have the other dogs to play with inside or in the fenced yard. The rest of my property is not fully fenced.
Star has become Daddy’s girl and follows him when he goes out to take care of the horses.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
Sometimes it’s not a good idea for her to go with him. Otherwise it’s fine.
Stevil comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Awww give her a break nothing wrong with being a daddy's girl!
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
Sometimes it’s not a good idea for her to go with him. Otherwise it’s fine.
Star has become Daddy’s girl and follows him when he goes out to take care of the horses.
BufftonBeotch comments on Jun 29, 2018:
She is a beauty.
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
She's just a random mutt nobody wanted. When the previous owner listed her for rehoming nobody inquired after her all the time the listing was up. Except me. I especially love black dogs. I was told they couldn't walk her because she was out of control and would try to get other dogs. I took her home and walked her. She walked like a dream.
BufftonBeotch comments on Jun 29, 2018:
She is a beauty.
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
She's just a random mutt nobody wanted. When the previous owner listed her for rehoming nobody inquired after her all the time the listing was up. Except me. I especially love black dogs. I was told they couldn't walk her because she was out of control and would try to get other dogs. I took her home and walked her. She walked like a dream.
Star has become Daddy’s girl and follows him when he goes out to take care of the horses.
Stacey48 comments on Jun 29, 2018:
❤ Aw, you can see the love in her eyes.
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
She gets excited when Daddy gets ready to go outside even if she isn't supposed to be going. Sometimes we just let her go outside for a bit. She's a good girl and would stay close. She way better with him than with me though.
Stacey48 comments on Jun 29, 2018:
❤ Aw, you can see the love in her eyes.
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
She gets excited when Daddy gets ready to go outside even if she isn't supposed to be going. Sometimes we just let her go outside for a bit. She's a good girl and would stay close. She way better with him than with me though.
Some memes to use.... feel free to share/post on social media :-)
graceylou comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Don’t you just love it when omnis complain that vegans feel superior to others, when it is because we don’t feel superior to others that we choose this lifestyle.
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@SkotlandSkye Yup. I’ve seen a few others also to that effect.
graceylou comments on Jun 29, 2018:
Don’t you just love it when omnis complain that vegans feel superior to others, when it is because we don’t feel superior to others that we choose this lifestyle.
graceylou replies on Jun 29, 2018:
@SkotlandSkye Yup. I’ve seen a few others also to that effect.
I've noticed what I consider an inordinate number of black cats here.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@HippieChick58 Salem rubs on and marks my 100 lbs St Bernard mix. Then again evetybody does.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@HippieChick58 Salem rubs on and marks my 100 lbs St Bernard mix. Then again evetybody does.
I've noticed what I consider an inordinate number of black cats here.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@HippieChick58 This was Salem as a baby. We didn’t think he would make it. Sorry about your kitty.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@HippieChick58 This was Salem as a baby. We didn’t think he would make it. Sorry about your kitty.
I've noticed what I consider an inordinate number of black cats here.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@RavenCT Geez. LOL. My Salem is the cutest thing and I can't imagine anyone would consider him evil. He was the only black one in his litter and we kept him because he was weak and almost died soon after birth. We had to syringe feed him, taking turns every 2-3 hours. His mom who was feral kinda just left him to fend for himself because she had 4 other kittens to care for. Mittens my tuxedo was also a feral foster. Her brother and sister were adopted because they were flashier in coat colour. That's ok. We love Mittens.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@RavenCT Geez. LOL. My Salem is the cutest thing and I can't imagine anyone would consider him evil. He was the only black one in his litter and we kept him because he was weak and almost died soon after birth. We had to syringe feed him, taking turns every 2-3 hours. His mom who was feral kinda just left him to fend for himself because she had 4 other kittens to care for. Mittens my tuxedo was also a feral foster. Her brother and sister were adopted because they were flashier in coat colour. That's ok. We love Mittens.
I've noticed what I consider an inordinate number of black cats here.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
In my experience orange cats are the most common. I think today black cats are quite sought after. I brought my Salem in to the vet for a check up and my vet asked if I knew any black cats needing homes because she had people tell her they want black cats. But yeah, in a shelter or rescue situation black cats are not as flashy in colouring as some other cats.
RavenCT comments on Jun 28, 2018:
There are actually way less superstitious people these days.
The last time I adopted a pure black cat I was told they were less adoptable because they are hard to photograph.
There are also more black cats born then other varieties which perpetuates the stereotype that they aren't adoptable. ...
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
In my experience orange cats are the most common. I think today black cats are quite sought after. I brought my Salem in to the vet for a check up and my vet asked if I knew any black cats needing homes because she had people tell her they want black cats. But yeah, in a shelter or rescue situation black cats are not as flashy in colouring as some other cats.
As I was watching TV or even scrolling through social media, I get bombarded with ads that promote ...
Count_Viceroy comments on Jun 27, 2018:
I'll admit it. I miss it. The smell gets to me every time.
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@weelittleone I’m sure a lot of people do too.
Count_Viceroy comments on Jun 27, 2018:
I'll admit it. I miss it. The smell gets to me every time.
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@weelittleone I’m sure a lot of people do too.
I’m from Michigan. Can we please make
Michigan part of Canada?
graceylou comments on Jun 28, 2018:
Check out Kananaskis Country and the Canmore area just outside of Banff. It’s less touristy than Banff itself but still very close to Banff. As far as I know I’m the only one here from Alberta. I could be wrong though.
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@Flexymorals Hmmmm. I don’t know if the lakes are cold. I suppose they would be like any lakes anywhere in the summertime. Weatherwise it can be pretty warm there but weather is always unpredictable in this province. And yes of course your question is not just for Albertans. Sometimes the more local people seek out less touristy places though.
graceylou comments on Jun 28, 2018:
Check out Kananaskis Country and the Canmore area just outside of Banff. It’s less touristy than Banff itself but still very close to Banff. As far as I know I’m the only one here from Alberta. I could be wrong though.
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
@Flexymorals Hmmmm. I don’t know if the lakes are cold. I suppose they would be like any lakes anywhere in the summertime. Weatherwise it can be pretty warm there but weather is always unpredictable in this province. And yes of course your question is not just for Albertans. Sometimes the more local people seek out less touristy places though.
As I was watching TV or even scrolling through social media, I get bombarded with ads that promote ...
Count_Viceroy comments on Jun 27, 2018:
I'll admit it. I miss it. The smell gets to me every time.
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
I know for some people it’s not that they don’t like it but it’s that the ethical stance is more important. For me now the idea of eating that stuff grosses me out. The smell unbearable.
Count_Viceroy comments on Jun 27, 2018:
I'll admit it. I miss it. The smell gets to me every time.
graceylou replies on Jun 28, 2018:
I know for some people it’s not that they don’t like it but it’s that the ethical stance is more important. For me now the idea of eating that stuff grosses me out. The smell unbearable.
CAUTION! Something Ugly and mortal this way comes! Sorry didn't mean too hurt your eyes.
graceylou comments on Jun 27, 2018:
The tiny pic on my phone, before I actually clicked to open this post, I thought was of a meerkat. I’m not sure if that is a compliment or not. I like meerkats.
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
@MARDUK Meerkats are adorable.
graceylou comments on Jun 27, 2018:
The tiny pic on my phone, before I actually clicked to open this post, I thought was of a meerkat. I’m not sure if that is a compliment or not. I like meerkats.
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
@MARDUK Meerkats are adorable.
As a vegan, do you find that people get defensive about their meat and dairy eating when they hear ...
LoveLivingLife comments on Jun 27, 2018:
I've definitely seen people get defensive after having someone find out that another person is a vegan. I'm also guilty of talking more about veganism than people care to listen to around a dinner table.
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
I think if people can talk about the meats they eat and cook and such, we can talk about veganism. It's like what they talk about is normal and what we talk about is extreme. Hey, I'm not the one paying for people to mutilate animals.
LoveLivingLife comments on Jun 27, 2018:
I've definitely seen people get defensive after having someone find out that another person is a vegan. I'm also guilty of talking more about veganism than people care to listen to around a dinner table.
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
I think if people can talk about the meats they eat and cook and such, we can talk about veganism. It's like what they talk about is normal and what we talk about is extreme. Hey, I'm not the one paying for people to mutilate animals.
This is my zucchini bread recipe that is super simple and I've shared over in the Garden Group ...
graceylou comments on Jun 27, 2018:
Would apple sauce work instead of banana paste? Usually in baking (or making pancakes/waffles) I use apple sauce instead of banana because of my banana allergy. I want to make zucchini bread so badly.
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
@SkotlandSkye I have apple sauce and flaxmeal. Chia too of course.
graceylou comments on Jun 27, 2018:
Would apple sauce work instead of banana paste? Usually in baking (or making pancakes/waffles) I use apple sauce instead of banana because of my banana allergy. I want to make zucchini bread so badly.
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
@SkotlandSkye I have apple sauce and flaxmeal. Chia too of course.
Just wondering about veganism- because of a really zealous and super opinionated new friend of ...
evergreen comments on Jun 26, 2018:
Easy. Over 35yrs ago, I was asked a simple question in a non-confrontational manner : if you love animals, how can you eat them ? Being a sucker for logic, the next day, it was done. Never looked back.
Feel great, rarely ever get sick - even a cold, and never tempted.
I try to remain low key, ...
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
Yeah me too. I don’t get colds or flu either. Love it.
evergreen comments on Jun 26, 2018:
Easy. Over 35yrs ago, I was asked a simple question in a non-confrontational manner : if you love animals, how can you eat them ? Being a sucker for logic, the next day, it was done. Never looked back.
Feel great, rarely ever get sick - even a cold, and never tempted.
I try to remain low key, ...
graceylou replies on Jun 27, 2018:
Yeah me too. I don’t get colds or flu either. Love it.
Can you be an Atheist/Agnostic and have a Conservative stance?
graceylou comments on Jun 26, 2018:
I know many conservative-leaning people who are non-religious and liberal-leaning people who are religious. I simply would avoid discussions of politics (or social issues politicized) among my friends and coworkers. I am way way way left leaning I might as well be horizontal but I have conservative ...
graceylou replies on Jun 26, 2018:
@WaffleZ Cities are generally more liberal especially since we had an influx of people from other provinces coming here for jobs in the past years. The rural areas are very conservative AND religious. I hear stuff I wish I didn't. It's a bit disappointing when I hear someone talk very progressively then say they will be having their baby baptized in church on Sunday. Oh well, not my baby, soooooo I just nod and move on.
graceylou comments on Jun 26, 2018:
I know many conservative-leaning people who are non-religious and liberal-leaning people who are religious. I simply would avoid discussions of politics (or social issues politicized) among my friends and coworkers. I am way way way left leaning I might as well be horizontal but I have conservative ...
graceylou replies on Jun 26, 2018:
@WaffleZ Cities are generally more liberal especially since we had an influx of people from other provinces coming here for jobs in the past years. The rural areas are very conservative AND religious. I hear stuff I wish I didn't. It's a bit disappointing when I hear someone talk very progressively then say they will be having their baby baptized in church on Sunday. Oh well, not my baby, soooooo I just nod and move on.
Can you be an Atheist/Agnostic and have a Conservative stance?
graceylou comments on Jun 26, 2018:
I know many conservative-leaning people who are non-religious and liberal-leaning people who are religious. I simply would avoid discussions of politics (or social issues politicized) among my friends and coworkers. I am way way way left leaning I might as well be horizontal but I have conservative ...
graceylou replies on Jun 26, 2018:
@WaffleZ Well, I’m in Alberta. Conservative stronghold though somehow we managed not to have a Conservative leadership. My riding voted for an ultra right wing party federally but left wing provincially. Go figure. But we don’t really talk about it. If you live in Alberta people just assume you’re a Christian if you don’t wear a burka or a hijab or turban etc. Out here in rural country I don’t think anyone really knows what I am and I don’t care to share. My local friends call themselves Christians but they don’t go to church that I know of. Some thInk a lot like me and others are the opposite. I’m perfectly capable of a debate but it’s just a waste of time.
graceylou comments on Jun 26, 2018:
I know many conservative-leaning people who are non-religious and liberal-leaning people who are religious. I simply would avoid discussions of politics (or social issues politicized) among my friends and coworkers. I am way way way left leaning I might as well be horizontal but I have conservative ...
graceylou replies on Jun 26, 2018:
@WaffleZ Well, I’m in Alberta. Conservative stronghold though somehow we managed not to have a Conservative leadership. My riding voted for an ultra right wing party federally but left wing provincially. Go figure. But we don’t really talk about it. If you live in Alberta people just assume you’re a Christian if you don’t wear a burka or a hijab or turban etc. Out here in rural country I don’t think anyone really knows what I am and I don’t care to share. My local friends call themselves Christians but they don’t go to church that I know of. Some thInk a lot like me and others are the opposite. I’m perfectly capable of a debate but it’s just a waste of time.
I find that there are so many misconceptions out there about what polyamory is.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
As much as I would like to just shrug it off, I feel that if we don't correct them they will never have the correct information and will keep living with incorrect perception of others. May be I shouldn't care. But for myself, I value having the correct or accurate information about subjects I talk ...
graceylou replies on Jun 24, 2018:
@Wrytyr Oh yes. I did post a snarky remark on this person’s response to my comment on her post. I implied that the way she acted was much like a religious nut.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
As much as I would like to just shrug it off, I feel that if we don't correct them they will never have the correct information and will keep living with incorrect perception of others. May be I shouldn't care. But for myself, I value having the correct or accurate information about subjects I talk ...
graceylou replies on Jun 24, 2018:
@Wrytyr Oh yes. I did post a snarky remark on this person’s response to my comment on her post. I implied that the way she acted was much like a religious nut.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 I'm good at a lot of things. But to find out what they are, along the hedge is probably not the best place.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 I'm good at a lot of things. But to find out what they are, along the hedge is probably not the best place.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 I keep looking out for someone to yell out "GET A ROOM".
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 I keep looking out for someone to yell out "GET A ROOM".
[facebook.com]
Having been in serious mode, I needed this. Do your cats give you these benefit?
MARDUK comments on Jun 23, 2018:
My girls make my day! My sadness would be completely drowning , suffocating me in the depths of darkness! They are my light! Make me smile!
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@MARDUK She's lovely.
MARDUK comments on Jun 23, 2018:
My girls make my day! My sadness would be completely drowning , suffocating me in the depths of darkness! They are my light! Make me smile!
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@MARDUK She's lovely.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Don't encourage me. I could really get carried away with puns. I was even thinking about a hedge fund for this project. But since we sort of are taking over the conversation, could we be considered hedge-hogs? Don't. Just don't let me go there.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Don't encourage me. I could really get carried away with puns. I was even thinking about a hedge fund for this project. But since we sort of are taking over the conversation, could we be considered hedge-hogs? Don't. Just don't let me go there.
[facebook.com]
Having been in serious mode, I needed this. Do your cats give you these benefit?
MARDUK comments on Jun 23, 2018:
My girls make my day! My sadness would be completely drowning , suffocating me in the depths of darkness! They are my light! Make me smile!
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
That's the wonder and beauty of pets. The cat in your meme looks like my Smokey who passed away quite recently.
MARDUK comments on Jun 23, 2018:
My girls make my day! My sadness would be completely drowning , suffocating me in the depths of darkness! They are my light! Make me smile!
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
That's the wonder and beauty of pets. The cat in your meme looks like my Smokey who passed away quite recently.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Yup. They are just not part of our joint venture.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Yup. They are just not part of our joint venture.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Canada is revising its food guide. I could make that recommendation. Did we high-jack this post?
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Canada is revising its food guide. I could make that recommendation. Did we high-jack this post?
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Hey, weed is vegan, right? LOL
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Hey, weed is vegan, right? LOL
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Hmmmmmm. Brownies and weed?
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Hmmmmmm. Brownies and weed?
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Hmmmm. Yes I am vegan. I think marinated carrot hot dogs would be good. I might be afraid to ask for (vegan) brownies.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 Hmmmm. Yes I am vegan. I think marinated carrot hot dogs would be good. I might be afraid to ask for (vegan) brownies.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 We're Canadians. We'd probably say sorry if we accidentally trample someone. We chill, man.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 We're Canadians. We'd probably say sorry if we accidentally trample someone. We chill, man.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 It would be a sort of wild fire everyone runs to instead of away from.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Sticks48 It would be a sort of wild fire everyone runs to instead of away from.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@irascible I wouldn't know things like that. Nope.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@irascible I wouldn't know things like that. Nope.
Canada Plans on Building a Hedge - Bushes Vs a Ridiculous Wall
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@irascible We don't have to worry about how high the hedge would have to be.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
What about pot plants. Marijuana will be legal in October.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@irascible We don't have to worry about how high the hedge would have to be.
I find that there are so many misconceptions out there about what polyamory is.
LimeySteve comments on Jun 23, 2018:
First: Do not ever defend yourself. You don't need their acceptance or their permission. It's your life and your business.
People, especially ignorant religious people, attack what they don't understand.
When someone asks me about it, if I feel they are truly curious and want to understand, I...
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@irascible Mostly I hate arguing with someone who doesn't have accurate information to back their position but insists they are right anyway. People running around with misinformation in their brains drive me crazy.
LimeySteve comments on Jun 23, 2018:
First: Do not ever defend yourself. You don't need their acceptance or their permission. It's your life and your business.
People, especially ignorant religious people, attack what they don't understand.
When someone asks me about it, if I feel they are truly curious and want to understand, I...
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@irascible Mostly I hate arguing with someone who doesn't have accurate information to back their position but insists they are right anyway. People running around with misinformation in their brains drive me crazy.
I will never understand people who are 'polyamorous' or 'ethically non-monogamous'.
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
Your understanding of polyamory is very much inaccurate. So you are right; you will never understand people who are poly. And, where does it say that we have to be monogamous, exactly? Whether people want to follow the path of polyamory or monogamy, it's none of my business.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Free_2B_Me By what you wrote in your original post you indicated your thoughts on the poly lifestyle. You did say something about people not happy with who they’re with and have to bring in others on the side. That is not what poly is about. It’s true I don’t care whether someone is poly or mono or chooses neither. I do care if something is misunderstood or misinterpreted. Obviously you only want support for what you believe about poly people. Gladly I will leave you to whatever it is you believe. Same as I would with religious people
graceylou comments on Jun 23, 2018:
Your understanding of polyamory is very much inaccurate. So you are right; you will never understand people who are poly. And, where does it say that we have to be monogamous, exactly? Whether people want to follow the path of polyamory or monogamy, it's none of my business.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
@Free_2B_Me By what you wrote in your original post you indicated your thoughts on the poly lifestyle. You did say something about people not happy with who they’re with and have to bring in others on the side. That is not what poly is about. It’s true I don’t care whether someone is poly or mono or chooses neither. I do care if something is misunderstood or misinterpreted. Obviously you only want support for what you believe about poly people. Gladly I will leave you to whatever it is you believe. Same as I would with religious people
WOW.
Gareth comments on Jun 23, 2018:
If you put something out in front of thirty thousand strangers you have be prepared for a variation in response because we don't all think alike.
For me, a tattoo or a piercing adds nothing to the natural beauty of a human body. If someone really doesn't want to hear that then they maybe they ...
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
Beauty is not just superficial and some of us could look past the superficial to get to someone's inner beauty. True, this is a public forum but courtesy still plays a role when we all play together. Personally, I don't think your response was particularly negative. Like someone commented, the way some people commented let us know who to avoid in future conversations.
Gareth comments on Jun 23, 2018:
If you put something out in front of thirty thousand strangers you have be prepared for a variation in response because we don't all think alike.
For me, a tattoo or a piercing adds nothing to the natural beauty of a human body. If someone really doesn't want to hear that then they maybe they ...
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
Beauty is not just superficial and some of us could look past the superficial to get to someone's inner beauty. True, this is a public forum but courtesy still plays a role when we all play together. Personally, I don't think your response was particularly negative. Like someone commented, the way some people commented let us know who to avoid in future conversations.
I find that there are so many misconceptions out there about what polyamory is.
LimeySteve comments on Jun 23, 2018:
First: Do not ever defend yourself. You don't need their acceptance or their permission. It's your life and your business.
People, especially ignorant religious people, attack what they don't understand.
When someone asks me about it, if I feel they are truly curious and want to understand, I...
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
I would expect such a response from religious people but people on this site I thought would be more accepting. Attacking people for their individuality and unique lifestyles makes me think of what religious people would do. But you are right; I don't need to defend myself to anyone.
LimeySteve comments on Jun 23, 2018:
First: Do not ever defend yourself. You don't need their acceptance or their permission. It's your life and your business.
People, especially ignorant religious people, attack what they don't understand.
When someone asks me about it, if I feel they are truly curious and want to understand, I...
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
I would expect such a response from religious people but people on this site I thought would be more accepting. Attacking people for their individuality and unique lifestyles makes me think of what religious people would do. But you are right; I don't need to defend myself to anyone.
WOW.
AzVixen52 comments on Jun 23, 2018:
This forum, like most forums, isn't as open minded as any of us would think, but I guess that's what makes the world go 'round.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
I was hoping it would be different. Some people here sound like they might as well be religious.
AzVixen52 comments on Jun 23, 2018:
This forum, like most forums, isn't as open minded as any of us would think, but I guess that's what makes the world go 'round.
graceylou replies on Jun 23, 2018:
I was hoping it would be different. Some people here sound like they might as well be religious.
I will never understand people who are 'polyamorous' or 'ethically non-monogamous'.
OlderMusicGeek comments on Jun 22, 2018:
To each, one's own. Just cus it's not my - or your - cup of tea, and doesn't work for us, doesn't mean we need to knock others who do it.
I see it sort of like homosexuality. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it! But there's no reason to knock the people who it does work for!
If they're ...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
I so agree with you here. Thumbs up. There are also apparent misconceptions of what polyamory/ethical non-monogamy is. I'm just not in the mood for being on the defensive side again though. Live and let live.
OlderMusicGeek comments on Jun 22, 2018:
To each, one's own. Just cus it's not my - or your - cup of tea, and doesn't work for us, doesn't mean we need to knock others who do it.
I see it sort of like homosexuality. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it! But there's no reason to knock the people who it does work for!
If they're ...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
I so agree with you here. Thumbs up. There are also apparent misconceptions of what polyamory/ethical non-monogamy is. I'm just not in the mood for being on the defensive side again though. Live and let live.
WOW.
Lukian comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I think I saw that post. (green tat?).
I don't remember any negativity but I am not part of the group, I was lead there by following a member.
Yep some don't know when to mind there own business or always degrade others. Thanks for sharing. Power to you!
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
There were a few disapproving comments but the majority were supportive. It wasn't the only post I am talking about though.
Lukian comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I think I saw that post. (green tat?).
I don't remember any negativity but I am not part of the group, I was lead there by following a member.
Yep some don't know when to mind there own business or always degrade others. Thanks for sharing. Power to you!
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
There were a few disapproving comments but the majority were supportive. It wasn't the only post I am talking about though.
WOW.
ScienceBill72 comments on Jun 22, 2018:
These type of people that do all this judgment just suck, i have many people amongst my family that say that oh Women should not have Tattoos. I say who the Heck asked you! ? Women that have and get Tattoos are Beautiful, Tattoos often are totally misunderstood like alot of things that people that...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@ScienceBill72 You are right about the religious people for sure. They use god as their defense which to them is impossible to question. There's too much hate in this world. I might be naive enough to want to focus on the joys. I'm not a naive person and I'm aware of realities. When I see/meet someone, and I might not like something about their appearance, I would find something about them I like and comment on that instead.
ScienceBill72 comments on Jun 22, 2018:
These type of people that do all this judgment just suck, i have many people amongst my family that say that oh Women should not have Tattoos. I say who the Heck asked you! ? Women that have and get Tattoos are Beautiful, Tattoos often are totally misunderstood like alot of things that people that...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@ScienceBill72 You are right about the religious people for sure. They use god as their defense which to them is impossible to question. There's too much hate in this world. I might be naive enough to want to focus on the joys. I'm not a naive person and I'm aware of realities. When I see/meet someone, and I might not like something about their appearance, I would find something about them I like and comment on that instead.
WOW.
ScienceBill72 comments on Jun 22, 2018:
These type of people that do all this judgment just suck, i have many people amongst my family that say that oh Women should not have Tattoos. I say who the Heck asked you! ? Women that have and get Tattoos are Beautiful, Tattoos often are totally misunderstood like alot of things that people that...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
You bet, thanks. Hey, I'm pretty tough. I can fend them off on my own, but it's nice to have support from friends, and even strangers. I just feel for other people I guess. I mean, don't ruin somebody's joy by posting your negative view, when your opinion is not asked. No, I don't mean you in particular (I know you would not do that). I mean, they can just say, it's not for me, but I'm happy for you.
ScienceBill72 comments on Jun 22, 2018:
These type of people that do all this judgment just suck, i have many people amongst my family that say that oh Women should not have Tattoos. I say who the Heck asked you! ? Women that have and get Tattoos are Beautiful, Tattoos often are totally misunderstood like alot of things that people that...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
You bet, thanks. Hey, I'm pretty tough. I can fend them off on my own, but it's nice to have support from friends, and even strangers. I just feel for other people I guess. I mean, don't ruin somebody's joy by posting your negative view, when your opinion is not asked. No, I don't mean you in particular (I know you would not do that). I mean, they can just say, it's not for me, but I'm happy for you.
My buck moth (Hemileuca maia) caterpillars are halfway grown.
graceylou comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Pretty babies. I have a phobia of moths and butterflies, but no problem with caterpillars.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Insectra Oh no, not at all. I actually do go to butterfly houses and such. I'm around butterflies and moths in my house and acreage. As long as they don't get too close to me or touch me. I do respect them, and I've even saved them in dire situations.
graceylou comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Pretty babies. I have a phobia of moths and butterflies, but no problem with caterpillars.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Insectra Oh no, not at all. I actually do go to butterfly houses and such. I'm around butterflies and moths in my house and acreage. As long as they don't get too close to me or touch me. I do respect them, and I've even saved them in dire situations.
WOW.
Ellatynemouth comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I agree. But then again, self expression is self expression.
If the world is celebrating tattoos but someone doesn't think they're 'cool'... Do they have to keep quiet?
Does self expression only go one way?
If someone is deliberately using tattoos to broadcast themselves to the world, ...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Ellatynemouth I never said you in particular said anything nasty.
Ellatynemouth comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I agree. But then again, self expression is self expression.
If the world is celebrating tattoos but someone doesn't think they're 'cool'... Do they have to keep quiet?
Does self expression only go one way?
If someone is deliberately using tattoos to broadcast themselves to the world, ...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Ellatynemouth I never said you in particular said anything nasty.
WOW.
Nurse-Quantros comments on Jun 22, 2018:
This is the finest post I've seen on here in a long time. Hats off to you dear lady. Thank you.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Nurse-Quantros Only when I'm wielding chopsticks!!!
Nurse-Quantros comments on Jun 22, 2018:
This is the finest post I've seen on here in a long time. Hats off to you dear lady. Thank you.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Nurse-Quantros Only when I'm wielding chopsticks!!!
WOW.
Akfishlady comments on Jun 22, 2018:
People just want to troll. If you take this as personal, or judgmental then that is on you. I personally dislike most of these issues because those people who write something awful will find a way to rip someone, etc. I just avoid subjects.
It's all puppies and rainbows for me, hopefully they will...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Akfishlady I think my post is more about the fact that I thought this community is more open-minded, especially about something superficial like appearances. And, I thought people would make conclusions based on logic, information, knowledge, not assumptions. But hey, we are still humans, I guess.
Akfishlady comments on Jun 22, 2018:
People just want to troll. If you take this as personal, or judgmental then that is on you. I personally dislike most of these issues because those people who write something awful will find a way to rip someone, etc. I just avoid subjects.
It's all puppies and rainbows for me, hopefully they will...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@Akfishlady I think my post is more about the fact that I thought this community is more open-minded, especially about something superficial like appearances. And, I thought people would make conclusions based on logic, information, knowledge, not assumptions. But hey, we are still humans, I guess.
WOW.
jujuofthesea comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Nice post @graceylou I find judgmental people very off-putting.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Thanks. I'm sure I could be judgmental now and again. I'm human after all. Then again, I've been accused of accepting everything as long as you're not hurting anybody. I just felt that the person whose picture was being talked about could not defend and explain himself because he's not here.
jujuofthesea comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Nice post @graceylou I find judgmental people very off-putting.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Thanks. I'm sure I could be judgmental now and again. I'm human after all. Then again, I've been accused of accepting everything as long as you're not hurting anybody. I just felt that the person whose picture was being talked about could not defend and explain himself because he's not here.
WOW.
Akfishlady comments on Jun 22, 2018:
People just want to troll. If you take this as personal, or judgmental then that is on you. I personally dislike most of these issues because those people who write something awful will find a way to rip someone, etc. I just avoid subjects.
It's all puppies and rainbows for me, hopefully they will...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Then there are a whole lot of trolls walking around the planet. It isn't just here in this site, but everywhere in real life. I do take it personally when someone walks up to me and says something negative about my tattoos or my hair or my face or my dogs or my clothes. Or they make assumptions about the type of person I am based on something superficial. They are welcome to ask me questions about anything on my person if they like.
Akfishlady comments on Jun 22, 2018:
People just want to troll. If you take this as personal, or judgmental then that is on you. I personally dislike most of these issues because those people who write something awful will find a way to rip someone, etc. I just avoid subjects.
It's all puppies and rainbows for me, hopefully they will...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Then there are a whole lot of trolls walking around the planet. It isn't just here in this site, but everywhere in real life. I do take it personally when someone walks up to me and says something negative about my tattoos or my hair or my face or my dogs or my clothes. Or they make assumptions about the type of person I am based on something superficial. They are welcome to ask me questions about anything on my person if they like.
WOW.
tsacrey comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I don’t have tattoos myself, but I think they are fucking cool!
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Thank you. For the most part, responses to tattoos (mine or otherwise) have been positive. I don't worry so much about whether someone likes tattoos or hates them. I'm more concerned about assumptions made about the person with tattoos.
tsacrey comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I don’t have tattoos myself, but I think they are fucking cool!
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Thank you. For the most part, responses to tattoos (mine or otherwise) have been positive. I don't worry so much about whether someone likes tattoos or hates them. I'm more concerned about assumptions made about the person with tattoos.
WOW.
AMGT comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Agreed.
Naysayers can piss off.
Though I’m always grateful when people show me their pretentious, uptight truth, that way, I know who to dismiss.
Life is short, get a tattoo!
Honor your Truth ???
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@AMGT Beautiful work. I have gone to Tattoo expos and some of the work is just phenomenal.
AMGT comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Agreed.
Naysayers can piss off.
Though I’m always grateful when people show me their pretentious, uptight truth, that way, I know who to dismiss.
Life is short, get a tattoo!
Honor your Truth ???
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@AMGT Beautiful work. I have gone to Tattoo expos and some of the work is just phenomenal.
WOW.
Nurse-Quantros comments on Jun 22, 2018:
This is the finest post I've seen on here in a long time. Hats off to you dear lady. Thank you.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Thank you in return. I'm flattered but doubtful it is the finest by far.
Nurse-Quantros comments on Jun 22, 2018:
This is the finest post I've seen on here in a long time. Hats off to you dear lady. Thank you.
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Thank you in return. I'm flattered but doubtful it is the finest by far.
WOW.
Ellatynemouth comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I agree. But then again, self expression is self expression.
If the world is celebrating tattoos but someone doesn't think they're 'cool'... Do they have to keep quiet?
Does self expression only go one way?
If someone is deliberately using tattoos to broadcast themselves to the world, ...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
If someone asks for your opinion, that is a different thing. You are entitled to not like something. The person who posted the tattoo did not ask about whether other people liked tattoos or not. To tell her something like "I hate tattoos" or "it will look bad when you're older" isn't respectful of her post. May be that's just my opinion. There are also a lot of assumptions about tattoos and piercings (and other body modifications) and about the persons who have them. Tattoos and piercings are just superficial. There are more to the person than what is superficial.
Ellatynemouth comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I agree. But then again, self expression is self expression.
If the world is celebrating tattoos but someone doesn't think they're 'cool'... Do they have to keep quiet?
Does self expression only go one way?
If someone is deliberately using tattoos to broadcast themselves to the world, ...
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
If someone asks for your opinion, that is a different thing. You are entitled to not like something. The person who posted the tattoo did not ask about whether other people liked tattoos or not. To tell her something like "I hate tattoos" or "it will look bad when you're older" isn't respectful of her post. May be that's just my opinion. There are also a lot of assumptions about tattoos and piercings (and other body modifications) and about the persons who have them. Tattoos and piercings are just superficial. There are more to the person than what is superficial.
My brother's tuxedo cat Millie.
Plant1010J comments on Jun 22, 2018:
This is Burt (for Burt Reynolds)
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Nice mustache.
Plant1010J comments on Jun 22, 2018:
This is Burt (for Burt Reynolds)
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
Nice mustache.
[facebook.com]
It's cuttle time!!! Who wants to cuttle with me?
OpposingOpposum comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Love it!
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
I know hey? I went like WOW a few times watching that.
OpposingOpposum comments on Jun 22, 2018:
Love it!
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
I know hey? I went like WOW a few times watching that.
[facebook.com]
It's cuttle time!!! Who wants to cuttle with me?
btroje comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I saw that and thought about posting it.Cephalopods are so cool
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@btroje This group is very receptive of this kind of thing though. I love this stuff too. My SO and I would stay in on weekends and watch nature shows. Especially, if it's about sharks. Then I'm glued to the TV screen. Or ants, I'm fascinated by documentaries on ants. Yes. I'm a total nerd.
btroje comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I saw that and thought about posting it.Cephalopods are so cool
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
@btroje This group is very receptive of this kind of thing though. I love this stuff too. My SO and I would stay in on weekends and watch nature shows. Especially, if it's about sharks. Then I'm glued to the TV screen. Or ants, I'm fascinated by documentaries on ants. Yes. I'm a total nerd.
[facebook.com]
It's cuttle time!!! Who wants to cuttle with me?
btroje comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I saw that and thought about posting it.Cephalopods are so cool
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
I think I'm easily amused but I'm fascinated by the natural world.
btroje comments on Jun 22, 2018:
I saw that and thought about posting it.Cephalopods are so cool
graceylou replies on Jun 22, 2018:
I think I'm easily amused but I'm fascinated by the natural world.
As a vegan, do you find that people get defensive about their meat and dairy eating when they hear ...
MissKathleen comments on Jun 21, 2018:
No, carnivores generally seem predisposed to bad-mouth vegan-/vegetarianism. Just as “modern” farmers seem predisposed to be so about organic farming.
graceylou replies on Jun 21, 2018:
That, or they treat you like you are special needs. They try to "respect" your lifestyle by accommodating your special requirements. I have friends who make sure a restaurant we are going to will have vegan options. They might even be the ones to ask the server what vegan options are available for me. Or, they might choose to go to a vegan restaurant even if they are not vegan, just so that I feel respected or included. Yet, at a non-vegan restaurant they would order extravagant meat dishes and talk loudly about cooking or eating animals. They did this to me at a work BBQ. I told them I just wouldn't go so they didn't have to find something special to cook for me. They insisted they wanted to include me and provide something I could eat. But I had to be subjected to people eating gunks of meat and talking about cooking steaks or roasts. Yuck. I didn't stay.
MissKathleen comments on Jun 21, 2018:
No, carnivores generally seem predisposed to bad-mouth vegan-/vegetarianism. Just as “modern” farmers seem predisposed to be so about organic farming.
graceylou replies on Jun 21, 2018:
That, or they treat you like you are special needs. They try to "respect" your lifestyle by accommodating your special requirements. I have friends who make sure a restaurant we are going to will have vegan options. They might even be the ones to ask the server what vegan options are available for me. Or, they might choose to go to a vegan restaurant even if they are not vegan, just so that I feel respected or included. Yet, at a non-vegan restaurant they would order extravagant meat dishes and talk loudly about cooking or eating animals. They did this to me at a work BBQ. I told them I just wouldn't go so they didn't have to find something special to cook for me. They insisted they wanted to include me and provide something I could eat. But I had to be subjected to people eating gunks of meat and talking about cooking steaks or roasts. Yuck. I didn't stay.
As a vegan, do you find that people get defensive about their meat and dairy eating when they hear ...
Count_Viceroy comments on Jun 21, 2018:
Often people try to downplay their meat eating. "I just eat chicken" I guess to make us seem more like pals.
graceylou replies on Jun 21, 2018:
Or fish. Yup.
Count_Viceroy comments on Jun 21, 2018:
Often people try to downplay their meat eating. "I just eat chicken" I guess to make us seem more like pals.
graceylou replies on Jun 21, 2018:
Or fish. Yup.
As a vegan, do you find that people get defensive about their meat and dairy eating when they hear ...
SkotlandSkye comments on Jun 21, 2018:
Yes, of course....because every vegan who is alive and well -- and healthy and walking around --- is proof that eating dead animals is not necessary and that people who do so CHOOSE to do so. We are their conscience telling them that they don't have to contribute to death and destruction.....but ...
graceylou replies on Jun 21, 2018:
That’s the other thing I hate. When I say I’m vegan they think it’s only about what I eat. It’s the entire way I live. Or it’s just because I love animals. They don’t get it when I say that I care about their health, our environment, the whole planet.
SkotlandSkye comments on Jun 21, 2018:
Yes, of course....because every vegan who is alive and well -- and healthy and walking around --- is proof that eating dead animals is not necessary and that people who do so CHOOSE to do so. We are their conscience telling them that they don't have to contribute to death and destruction.....but ...
graceylou replies on Jun 21, 2018:
That’s the other thing I hate. When I say I’m vegan they think it’s only about what I eat. It’s the entire way I live. Or it’s just because I love animals. They don’t get it when I say that I care about their health, our environment, the whole planet.
I had a booking today for two dogs.
CreativelyMe comments on Jun 20, 2018:
My daughter follows a pig named Chris P Bacon.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
That’s funny.
CreativelyMe comments on Jun 20, 2018:
My daughter follows a pig named Chris P Bacon.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
That’s funny.
How accurate is this?
Coldo comments on Jun 20, 2018:
Pmsl!??
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
Pretty Muffin Slavedrivers?
Coldo comments on Jun 20, 2018:
Pmsl!??
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
Pretty Muffin Slavedrivers?
How accurate is this?
sassysapiosexual comments on Jun 20, 2018:
I'm getting a kitten soon, so thank you for this reminder/wakeup call
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
Don’t forget the last part. Get two.
sassysapiosexual comments on Jun 20, 2018:
I'm getting a kitten soon, so thank you for this reminder/wakeup call
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
Don’t forget the last part. Get two.
[facebook.com]
not mine but I love this beauty
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@Leafhead I let all animals live as much as I can. Mosquitoes are just about my limit because I’m so allergic. But I will let them live if they are not biting me. I just have to douse myself in repellent. Ugh.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@Leafhead I let all animals live as much as I can. Mosquitoes are just about my limit because I’m so allergic. But I will let them live if they are not biting me. I just have to douse myself in repellent. Ugh.
[facebook.com]
not mine but I love this beauty
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@Leafhead Yeah. I know people who do that to snakes.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@Leafhead Yeah. I know people who do that to snakes.
I just squealed like a little girl.
btroje comments on Jun 20, 2018:
really cute I would want the legs to be longer and all wrapped around
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
These are made to order and custom made so that can be requested.
btroje comments on Jun 20, 2018:
really cute I would want the legs to be longer and all wrapped around
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
These are made to order and custom made so that can be requested.
[facebook.com]
not mine but I love this beauty
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@Leafhead That is so sad. There’s no need to kill things one fears.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@Leafhead That is so sad. There’s no need to kill things one fears.
[facebook.com]
not mine but I love this beauty
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@btroje Yeah. And I also keep tarantulas.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@btroje Yeah. And I also keep tarantulas.
Mortal coil. My favourite boy, Lestat. He was apparently quite wound up this morning.
dalefvictor comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Kind of looks that way. That is funny. What kind is he?
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@dalefvictor They are more afraid of you than you are of them. My babies all know me very well so they are not stressed in my presence. Wild snakes would run away from me because to them I’m a big predator. I can handle my snakes with no problems. They do get grumpy sometimes especially if I have to get in their tanks for something and surprise them. And yes, I have been bitten numerous times mostly because I did something stupid. They are just being snakes.
dalefvictor comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Kind of looks that way. That is funny. What kind is he?
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@dalefvictor They are more afraid of you than you are of them. My babies all know me very well so they are not stressed in my presence. Wild snakes would run away from me because to them I’m a big predator. I can handle my snakes with no problems. They do get grumpy sometimes especially if I have to get in their tanks for something and surprise them. And yes, I have been bitten numerous times mostly because I did something stupid. They are just being snakes.
Really just a bit peeved right now.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
I totally understand that since I'm also vegan. The killing/death of animals wouldn't be an acceptable subject of a joke/humour for me especially if they know you are vegan. May be let them know you gently how you feel but that you also appreciate them as coworkers. You can always donate the gift ...
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@VAL3941 I don’t know. You will have to ask her.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
I totally understand that since I'm also vegan. The killing/death of animals wouldn't be an acceptable subject of a joke/humour for me especially if they know you are vegan. May be let them know you gently how you feel but that you also appreciate them as coworkers. You can always donate the gift ...
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@VAL3941 I don’t know. You will have to ask her.
I just squealed like a little girl.
dalefvictor comments on Jun 20, 2018:
If this is a huge spider that is a bag for stuff I want one too. Will scare the shit out of people. Could they be made so the legs move as one walks. Would look like it is attacking you. That is not a good idea some idiot with a gun would shoot you to save you.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
It is a backpack yes. I have a tarantula tattoo on my upper chest and I get people pointing it out to me all the time that I have a tarantula on me.
dalefvictor comments on Jun 20, 2018:
If this is a huge spider that is a bag for stuff I want one too. Will scare the shit out of people. Could they be made so the legs move as one walks. Would look like it is attacking you. That is not a good idea some idiot with a gun would shoot you to save you.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
It is a backpack yes. I have a tarantula tattoo on my upper chest and I get people pointing it out to me all the time that I have a tarantula on me.
[facebook.com]
not mine but I love this beauty
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@btroje Yes. I had a butterfly land on me when I was a kid. I touched it and got wing dust on my hand. For some reason that freaked me out. It still does now. I can be around butterflies and that’s ok. I just freak out if they come too close.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Beautiful colouring and patterns. I have to admit that I have a phobia of butterflies and moths. But I respect them and think they are beautiful creatures.
graceylou replies on Jun 20, 2018:
@btroje Yes. I had a butterfly land on me when I was a kid. I touched it and got wing dust on my hand. For some reason that freaked me out. It still does now. I can be around butterflies and that’s ok. I just freak out if they come too close.
Mortal coil. My favourite boy, Lestat. He was apparently quite wound up this morning.
dalefvictor comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Kind of looks that way. That is funny. What kind is he?
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
He's an Amazon Tree Boa. Garden phase. He may have traces of leopard. Not a beginner snake but so far he hasn't bitten me yet.
dalefvictor comments on Jun 19, 2018:
Kind of looks that way. That is funny. What kind is he?
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
He's an Amazon Tree Boa. Garden phase. He may have traces of leopard. Not a beginner snake but so far he hasn't bitten me yet.
Really just a bit peeved right now.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
I totally understand that since I'm also vegan. The killing/death of animals wouldn't be an acceptable subject of a joke/humour for me especially if they know you are vegan. May be let them know you gently how you feel but that you also appreciate them as coworkers. You can always donate the gift ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@VAL3941 There are limits to everything. If you don't tell people what those limits are for you, they would never learn it for the future. I think it would be more productive than throwing a tantrum. If they were purposefully malicious, then they would get a harsher response.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
I totally understand that since I'm also vegan. The killing/death of animals wouldn't be an acceptable subject of a joke/humour for me especially if they know you are vegan. May be let them know you gently how you feel but that you also appreciate them as coworkers. You can always donate the gift ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@VAL3941 There are limits to everything. If you don't tell people what those limits are for you, they would never learn it for the future. I think it would be more productive than throwing a tantrum. If they were purposefully malicious, then they would get a harsher response.
Really just a bit peeved right now.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
I totally understand that since I'm also vegan. The killing/death of animals wouldn't be an acceptable subject of a joke/humour for me especially if they know you are vegan. May be let them know you gently how you feel but that you also appreciate them as coworkers. You can always donate the gift ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@VAL3941 I think they meant it as a light joke but didn't realize the impact on her. If she explains it then they will understand. It seems they do value her as a coworker. Of course, I don't really know them or her. It could have been malicious then I wouldn't give them a chance to get away with it. If they were unaware about being too overly insensitive then they just need to be given a good explanation so they learn not to do it again. Some people are just unaware that vegans take their lifestyle seriously and are committed to their cause.
graceylou comments on Jun 19, 2018:
I totally understand that since I'm also vegan. The killing/death of animals wouldn't be an acceptable subject of a joke/humour for me especially if they know you are vegan. May be let them know you gently how you feel but that you also appreciate them as coworkers. You can always donate the gift ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@VAL3941 I think they meant it as a light joke but didn't realize the impact on her. If she explains it then they will understand. It seems they do value her as a coworker. Of course, I don't really know them or her. It could have been malicious then I wouldn't give them a chance to get away with it. If they were unaware about being too overly insensitive then they just need to be given a good explanation so they learn not to do it again. Some people are just unaware that vegans take their lifestyle seriously and are committed to their cause.
What is the wildest thing that you have ever done ?
graceylou comments on Jun 16, 2018:
Doing archaeological work in the wilds of Yukon.
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@ScienceBill72 OK. Thanks for letting me know.
graceylou comments on Jun 16, 2018:
Doing archaeological work in the wilds of Yukon.
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@ScienceBill72 OK. Thanks for letting me know.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
bigpawbullets comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Well, first, I'd say that you're a "good daughter".
How far away do you live from him geographically?
If possible, I'd suggest a face-to-face visit. Many times, these conversations, especially with elders, require more than a voice. Physical presence communicates a lot. If you can, you might ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@bigpawbullets If I can get away again I will try to stay a little longer. Right now is just not a good time for me to be away from my home.
bigpawbullets comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Well, first, I'd say that you're a "good daughter".
How far away do you live from him geographically?
If possible, I'd suggest a face-to-face visit. Many times, these conversations, especially with elders, require more than a voice. Physical presence communicates a lot. If you can, you might ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@bigpawbullets If I can get away again I will try to stay a little longer. Right now is just not a good time for me to be away from my home.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
SkotlandSkye comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Keep talking. You are pretty much all he has...and, honestly, the debates may make him feel like his brain still works. As a surgeon, I'm sure he loved a good challenge....I think he's missing that. Seriously. Structure some basic philosophical discussions that you think you can do without it ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@SkotlandSkye I might find some info on his condition and my mom’s. May be we can focus on those next time.
SkotlandSkye comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Keep talking. You are pretty much all he has...and, honestly, the debates may make him feel like his brain still works. As a surgeon, I'm sure he loved a good challenge....I think he's missing that. Seriously. Structure some basic philosophical discussions that you think you can do without it ...
graceylou replies on Jun 19, 2018:
@SkotlandSkye I might find some info on his condition and my mom’s. May be we can focus on those next time.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
Mikeb56 comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I don’t try to control my girls. When I look at them I am proud of what they have become and in the case of the youngest what she is becoming. I do however still see them running around in a diaper with a shirt halfway up their belly. It’s a dad thing I know. ?
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
@Mikeb56 I wish I had that. Even hugs and kisses are strange to me. I still have a phobia about being touched by strangers. My aunts are very European and would do the cheek kisses. That used to creep me out.
Mikeb56 comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I don’t try to control my girls. When I look at them I am proud of what they have become and in the case of the youngest what she is becoming. I do however still see them running around in a diaper with a shirt halfway up their belly. It’s a dad thing I know. ?
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
@Mikeb56 I wish I had that. Even hugs and kisses are strange to me. I still have a phobia about being touched by strangers. My aunts are very European and would do the cheek kisses. That used to creep me out.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
JohnINFP comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Maybe it's time for him to wade carefully into a gradual assisted living situation with medical professionals. Maybe your Mom could do the same. Even at the same facility. Also to be free of your brother. At a good one they could eat well, be cared for and have activities. A place that has lots of ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
My younger brother, sister in law, and I are working on it. My older brother gets tax credits for being a caregiver. But he doesn’t provide much care. My father’s greatest worry is what might happen to my brother. Ummmm. Yeah. He’s almost 50 years old and acts like an entitled child. My parents’ house is worth about a million dollars (house values in that area is insane). They can easily sell that house and move but my brother wants to own the house, keep it to himself. I don’t even think he can manage without my mother babying him. The house is hazardous to my father because of all the stairs. And my mother with her dementia developing forgets things including turning off stoves. But my parents won’t budge because it would affect my brother. My brother is a whole different can of worms altogether.
JohnINFP comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Maybe it's time for him to wade carefully into a gradual assisted living situation with medical professionals. Maybe your Mom could do the same. Even at the same facility. Also to be free of your brother. At a good one they could eat well, be cared for and have activities. A place that has lots of ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
My younger brother, sister in law, and I are working on it. My older brother gets tax credits for being a caregiver. But he doesn’t provide much care. My father’s greatest worry is what might happen to my brother. Ummmm. Yeah. He’s almost 50 years old and acts like an entitled child. My parents’ house is worth about a million dollars (house values in that area is insane). They can easily sell that house and move but my brother wants to own the house, keep it to himself. I don’t even think he can manage without my mother babying him. The house is hazardous to my father because of all the stairs. And my mother with her dementia developing forgets things including turning off stoves. But my parents won’t budge because it would affect my brother. My brother is a whole different can of worms altogether.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
bigpawbullets comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Well, first, I'd say that you're a "good daughter".
How far away do you live from him geographically?
If possible, I'd suggest a face-to-face visit. Many times, these conversations, especially with elders, require more than a voice. Physical presence communicates a lot. If you can, you might ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Hmmmm. A 14 hour drive. Or an hour and a half flight. I work and run a business plus I have a menagerie of animals to care for at home. I would still visit more if I got along better with my mother and older brother but alas nope.
bigpawbullets comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Well, first, I'd say that you're a "good daughter".
How far away do you live from him geographically?
If possible, I'd suggest a face-to-face visit. Many times, these conversations, especially with elders, require more than a voice. Physical presence communicates a lot. If you can, you might ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Hmmmm. A 14 hour drive. Or an hour and a half flight. I work and run a business plus I have a menagerie of animals to care for at home. I would still visit more if I got along better with my mother and older brother but alas nope.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
SkotlandSkye comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Keep talking. You are pretty much all he has...and, honestly, the debates may make him feel like his brain still works. As a surgeon, I'm sure he loved a good challenge....I think he's missing that. Seriously. Structure some basic philosophical discussions that you think you can do without it ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, we had some civil discussions while I was there in person. He’s very interested in researching information about the surgical procedures that occured on him and other related research. Also my mother is developing dementia and he gets involved in finding out more about how to deal with that.
SkotlandSkye comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Keep talking. You are pretty much all he has...and, honestly, the debates may make him feel like his brain still works. As a surgeon, I'm sure he loved a good challenge....I think he's missing that. Seriously. Structure some basic philosophical discussions that you think you can do without it ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, we had some civil discussions while I was there in person. He’s very interested in researching information about the surgical procedures that occured on him and other related research. Also my mother is developing dementia and he gets involved in finding out more about how to deal with that.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
IAmLove comments on Jun 18, 2018:
stop bouncing off the wall. if I may say that to you. your father looks at you like a little girl...he is the authority figure and will always be bigger, smarter and your father. he may be intelligent but he is not kind and kind he should be. i wish you wouldn’t feel so bad about it. Parents ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Thanks. I always want to help but always end up the bad guy somehow. Everything I say gets twisted and thrown back at me. My family has the creative ability to turn something beautiful into something horrific. It’s a real talent. Even after all this, I’m fighting for my father to get better care. I have my younger brother and sister in law and one friend for support.
IAmLove comments on Jun 18, 2018:
stop bouncing off the wall. if I may say that to you. your father looks at you like a little girl...he is the authority figure and will always be bigger, smarter and your father. he may be intelligent but he is not kind and kind he should be. i wish you wouldn’t feel so bad about it. Parents ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Thanks. I always want to help but always end up the bad guy somehow. Everything I say gets twisted and thrown back at me. My family has the creative ability to turn something beautiful into something horrific. It’s a real talent. Even after all this, I’m fighting for my father to get better care. I have my younger brother and sister in law and one friend for support.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
Mikeb56 comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I don’t try to control my girls. When I look at them I am proud of what they have become and in the case of the youngest what she is becoming. I do however still see them running around in a diaper with a shirt halfway up their belly. It’s a dad thing I know. ?
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
I was pretty much raised by my nannies as a little kid. My father worked long hours and barely spent time with us. My mother was too busy with cooking and baking lessons she liked to take. I had never been hugged or kissed by them or even told I love you. All I knew was being reprimanded when I didn’t do something perfectly. Nothing I did was ever good enough though I was a top student who was never in trouble with the school or the law. I even got scholarships. I was labeled a difficult child because I was always committed to justice, fairness, equality, compassion for all beings. I didn’t subscribe to my family’s racist ideas. I didn’t agree that poor desolate people are that way because they are lazy and that I shouldn’t help them. I always tried to get my nannies to buy whatever the poor street vendors was selling just to help them out. My brothers and I saved a stray cat in secret because if my parents found out they would be outraged that we brought in a dirty street animal into the house. I guess my parents want me to be just like them and I’m a huge disappointment.
Mikeb56 comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I don’t try to control my girls. When I look at them I am proud of what they have become and in the case of the youngest what she is becoming. I do however still see them running around in a diaper with a shirt halfway up their belly. It’s a dad thing I know. ?
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
I was pretty much raised by my nannies as a little kid. My father worked long hours and barely spent time with us. My mother was too busy with cooking and baking lessons she liked to take. I had never been hugged or kissed by them or even told I love you. All I knew was being reprimanded when I didn’t do something perfectly. Nothing I did was ever good enough though I was a top student who was never in trouble with the school or the law. I even got scholarships. I was labeled a difficult child because I was always committed to justice, fairness, equality, compassion for all beings. I didn’t subscribe to my family’s racist ideas. I didn’t agree that poor desolate people are that way because they are lazy and that I shouldn’t help them. I always tried to get my nannies to buy whatever the poor street vendors was selling just to help them out. My brothers and I saved a stray cat in secret because if my parents found out they would be outraged that we brought in a dirty street animal into the house. I guess my parents want me to be just like them and I’m a huge disappointment.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
chalupacabre comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Check in on him from time to time. Let him determine the course of the conversation, but when he heads for the combative topics, steer away or call the chat short. If you declare some topics off limits, it'll probably make him defensive, so don't bother. At least he's still talking to you. Last ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
@IAmLove That is the same with me. My mother and older brother are narcissists as well. Living away from them has been the best thing I’ve done. But I feel sorry for my father for being stuck with them. My emotions are still raw from the visit and seeing what actually happens there. I’m more sensitive than usual still.
chalupacabre comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Check in on him from time to time. Let him determine the course of the conversation, but when he heads for the combative topics, steer away or call the chat short. If you declare some topics off limits, it'll probably make him defensive, so don't bother. At least he's still talking to you. Last ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
@IAmLove That is the same with me. My mother and older brother are narcissists as well. Living away from them has been the best thing I’ve done. But I feel sorry for my father for being stuck with them. My emotions are still raw from the visit and seeing what actually happens there. I’m more sensitive than usual still.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
kensmile4u comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Two years ago i found myself as a frequent caregiver for my cousin who was dying from ALS. He was my favorite cousin because he was always a loving open minded family man and he often acted as the peace maker in conflicts. He was a religious man who would not preach to you. He knew I was ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
I think I had the argument because that was always the way it is. We bantered and debated a lot in the past. I guess my frustration was more that I explained my points but he didn't bother to listen to what I was saying. I'm definitely not going to agree with him when he attacks things that I value, like rational thinking, scientific research, and human rights. Then his accusations about me that had no basis. I guess I'm sensitive about being accused of things I didn't do. I have always been a target of accusations without base. Even as a child I was accused once of pushing my brother so he hit his head on the edge of my parents' bed and caused a bleeding cut over his eyebrow that had to be stitched. I was standing around with him yes but I didn't touch him. To this day they still believe I pushed him. I guess I was just frustrated of having to take it and take it and take it. After being worn out during the trip "home". I lost it. I'm human.
kensmile4u comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Two years ago i found myself as a frequent caregiver for my cousin who was dying from ALS. He was my favorite cousin because he was always a loving open minded family man and he often acted as the peace maker in conflicts. He was a religious man who would not preach to you. He knew I was ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
I think I had the argument because that was always the way it is. We bantered and debated a lot in the past. I guess my frustration was more that I explained my points but he didn't bother to listen to what I was saying. I'm definitely not going to agree with him when he attacks things that I value, like rational thinking, scientific research, and human rights. Then his accusations about me that had no basis. I guess I'm sensitive about being accused of things I didn't do. I have always been a target of accusations without base. Even as a child I was accused once of pushing my brother so he hit his head on the edge of my parents' bed and caused a bleeding cut over his eyebrow that had to be stitched. I was standing around with him yes but I didn't touch him. To this day they still believe I pushed him. I guess I was just frustrated of having to take it and take it and take it. After being worn out during the trip "home". I lost it. I'm human.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
chalupacabre comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Check in on him from time to time. Let him determine the course of the conversation, but when he heads for the combative topics, steer away or call the chat short. If you declare some topics off limits, it'll probably make him defensive, so don't bother. At least he's still talking to you. Last ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
My father wouldn't get offended easily. I'm the one who tends to get offended if certain things are said. I had cut off relations with my family several times before. When reconnecting I try to avoid touchy subjects. But they seem to always creep in when the guards are down.
chalupacabre comments on Jun 18, 2018:
Check in on him from time to time. Let him determine the course of the conversation, but when he heads for the combative topics, steer away or call the chat short. If you declare some topics off limits, it'll probably make him defensive, so don't bother. At least he's still talking to you. Last ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
My father wouldn't get offended easily. I'm the one who tends to get offended if certain things are said. I had cut off relations with my family several times before. When reconnecting I try to avoid touchy subjects. But they seem to always creep in when the guards are down.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
Blissfull comments on Jun 18, 2018:
My dad is also in his late 80's and I am fully aware my time with him is limited. With that in mind when he wonders onto a subject I do not discuss I keep my answers short and polite, such as " I hear you, that is interesting, I can see you feel strongly about that, wow I did not know that. " Then I...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, I'm trying to get my father to do more things other than sit around, eat, and talk. I want him to go for walks with the help of those willing to help him. Any ideas I gave him to fill his days and get out of depression got shot down. Any ideas I gave him to get better care got shot down. The bible audiobook seemed to be the only thing that worked.
Blissfull comments on Jun 18, 2018:
My dad is also in his late 80's and I am fully aware my time with him is limited. With that in mind when he wonders onto a subject I do not discuss I keep my answers short and polite, such as " I hear you, that is interesting, I can see you feel strongly about that, wow I did not know that. " Then I...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, I'm trying to get my father to do more things other than sit around, eat, and talk. I want him to go for walks with the help of those willing to help him. Any ideas I gave him to fill his days and get out of depression got shot down. Any ideas I gave him to get better care got shot down. The bible audiobook seemed to be the only thing that worked.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
Cassiopeia comments on Jun 18, 2018:
He is old and probably scared. I would tell him that I will not discuss religion with him and if he turns the conversation to religion just say ‘I love you, Dad, but I have to go now’, say goodbye lovingly and hang up. Just don’t go there. There’s no point in arguing, He’s not going to ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
I didn't try to change his beliefs. In fact, I told him I don't really care what he believes in as long as he's not hurting anyone. But antiquated irrational thinking can hurt others directly and indirectly. He attacks rational thinking and human rights, then accuses me of trying to push my beliefs on others when he was the one doing it. I had to defend myself and my fellow earth occupants. And you don't know my father; he can talk forever. If I were trying to change his beliefs I wouldn't have spent hundreds of dollars and a lot of time finding him the bible audiobooks he specifically wanted. If I were shoving my beliefs in his throat, I wouldn't have helped my mom serve lunch and dinner that included meats. If I were accused of something I had never done, I would defend myself.
Cassiopeia comments on Jun 18, 2018:
He is old and probably scared. I would tell him that I will not discuss religion with him and if he turns the conversation to religion just say ‘I love you, Dad, but I have to go now’, say goodbye lovingly and hang up. Just don’t go there. There’s no point in arguing, He’s not going to ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
I didn't try to change his beliefs. In fact, I told him I don't really care what he believes in as long as he's not hurting anyone. But antiquated irrational thinking can hurt others directly and indirectly. He attacks rational thinking and human rights, then accuses me of trying to push my beliefs on others when he was the one doing it. I had to defend myself and my fellow earth occupants. And you don't know my father; he can talk forever. If I were trying to change his beliefs I wouldn't have spent hundreds of dollars and a lot of time finding him the bible audiobooks he specifically wanted. If I were shoving my beliefs in his throat, I wouldn't have helped my mom serve lunch and dinner that included meats. If I were accused of something I had never done, I would defend myself.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
SCbeelady comments on Jun 18, 2018:
He is 88. Put up with a little crap to make his life better. I'm sure the more you talk to him the less cantankerous he will be.I am sure if his life has become what you say it has he is scared, hurt and depressed.
Just think he gave you all he had while he was raising you. Maybe it wasn't enough...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
This is why I'm putting up with this. One of my OCD worries since I was a small child is that something bad might happen to my father. I didn't see him much as a kid because of his busy work as a doctor. I was really frustrated with having to deal with an irrational brick wall. May be I should just pretend to agree with everything and just let him rant away.
SCbeelady comments on Jun 18, 2018:
He is 88. Put up with a little crap to make his life better. I'm sure the more you talk to him the less cantankerous he will be.I am sure if his life has become what you say it has he is scared, hurt and depressed.
Just think he gave you all he had while he was raising you. Maybe it wasn't enough...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
This is why I'm putting up with this. One of my OCD worries since I was a small child is that something bad might happen to my father. I didn't see him much as a kid because of his busy work as a doctor. I was really frustrated with having to deal with an irrational brick wall. May be I should just pretend to agree with everything and just let him rant away.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
AmiSue comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I have had to deal with a similar situation. The best I can offer is "Disengage!". If you can swiftly steer the conversation elsewhere it could work, has for me.
You clearly want this connection with your dad; pick your battles.
Good luck.
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, next time I would end the subject before we even start.
AmiSue comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I have had to deal with a similar situation. The best I can offer is "Disengage!". If you can swiftly steer the conversation elsewhere it could work, has for me.
You clearly want this connection with your dad; pick your battles.
Good luck.
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, next time I would end the subject before we even start.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
bobhoff59 comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I would ignore it and continue show him you care. Sounds like you might be the only one.
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
My younger brother and sister in law visit sometime and help out. I think they are pretty tired of the god related conversations as well. They try to be there when they can. I have a friend who would call or visit occasionally. He would also talk about god to her, and she's a lot more patient than I am. She used to take her kids along with her when they were younger and my father liked that very much. She had also offered to help with paperwork and bills. My mom didn't like her coming by because she's not family. Of all people though, I was always the one he would talk to the most in the past.
bobhoff59 comments on Jun 18, 2018:
I would ignore it and continue show him you care. Sounds like you might be the only one.
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
My younger brother and sister in law visit sometime and help out. I think they are pretty tired of the god related conversations as well. They try to be there when they can. I have a friend who would call or visit occasionally. He would also talk about god to her, and she's a lot more patient than I am. She used to take her kids along with her when they were younger and my father liked that very much. She had also offered to help with paperwork and bills. My mom didn't like her coming by because she's not family. Of all people though, I was always the one he would talk to the most in the past.
This is a bit of a rant but also I would like to know what people's thoughts are on this.
CreativelyMe comments on Jun 18, 2018:
My daughter and I used to argue a lot, not over religion but just stuff. I now say "Let's change the subject, I do not want to fight with you and we obviously do not agree on this subject." If she continues I tell her that I am going to have to let her go and we can talk again later. I only had to ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, I definitely would have to state what subjects are off limits. And just end the conversation or change the subject if he goes in that direction. I spent almost 4 days actually being there in person without the subject of god coming up at all.
CreativelyMe comments on Jun 18, 2018:
My daughter and I used to argue a lot, not over religion but just stuff. I now say "Let's change the subject, I do not want to fight with you and we obviously do not agree on this subject." If she continues I tell her that I am going to have to let her go and we can talk again later. I only had to ...
graceylou replies on Jun 18, 2018:
Yes, I definitely would have to state what subjects are off limits. And just end the conversation or change the subject if he goes in that direction. I spent almost 4 days actually being there in person without the subject of god coming up at all.
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Atheist, Humanist, Secularist, Skeptic, Freethinker
Here for community - BirthdayJanuary 30
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