Cigarettes are just like squirrels.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Well, I've never had a cigarette scamper up my pants leg!

During church the preacher asked the people what they wanted him to pray for.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Classic!

Something my youngest would do when he was little.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

You taught them well, sensei!

Unless those slices are sicilian

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Well, there are times...

I think even the Pakleds would be smarter than this...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Almost half our country wasn't!

Is this enough bad taste for you?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

After all, he was supposedly "tempted" by Satan in the desert!

The Ultimate Flat Earther response for you.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

The moon obviously likes to be mooned!

I'm still hungry!

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

No, thanks, Will. I'm saving myself for somebody else!

Lets not give them ideas...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Seems strangely familiar somehow.

Sean Hannity

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

He is such a brown-nosed tool!

Election day holiday

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I'll combine 2 of the below...I agree, that is a great idea!

Imagine if Hilary......

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Truth!

Facts are the alligator's trumpet.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

LOL! The Greek Olympics, let alone any fool chased by a lion may have a different take!

Meme Goals right?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Keep your priorities straight!

Dumb as a box of....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& it's only Monday, oh it looks like you'll be having a rough week @RavenCT!

Bible tattoo

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Don't get distracted, now!

I can't think of anything better.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

So many can't handle the truth!

Wow, that hurts...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Looks like you're in for a very, very long relationship!

What's in a name?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Somehow I don't think cream cheese would help!

I didn't believe it when they said we had 8 inches of snow so I had to measure it myself

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

So, what did you do after you got down that four inches???

The real Toy Story

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Shake, Rattle & Roll!

A Job available at this Sushi restaurant.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

One moment & I'll put you through to the manager...

Do not do this. You will die.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

"Evolution in Action"! Maybe we'll get the whole brood!

This is the way I chilled out at home. I took that picture yesterday.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& I'll bet both bottles are seriously depleted!

Seven deadly sins

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

think it was already posted here, but...

Flint's pipelines

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

And, honestly, if asked, & if they could make sure it was done right, they would probably kick up the money. Do you think tRump would??? Or the Koch brothers???

46 year low...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Well, I always thought tRump was 'special', little yellow bus 'special'!

Betsy Devos

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Tell it!

What do you think of the Grand Canyon as a whole?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Deeply interesting!

"Close the gate on your way out!!!"

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

They can take TX, which has been threatening for ages, with them! I think I'll manage, will they?

How bout this? No! Okay, then... No!! What ab..... No!

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That's the argument in a nutshell!

Practice makes perfect and a Prayer I can actually stand by

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Tho I liked the 2nd, I so stole that first!!!

Time to change things up, I may have posted this here before, so.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That guitar!!! One of the best of a generation!!!

A couple Homer Simpson memes...for da Normies.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That first one really speaks to me!!!

I see the"Leave" button is back.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Actually, I always saw one, it was just green & looked much more like the "Join" button. But, you can't get rid of me that easy, bro!

And so he should

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Post these in "Music Fans" too!

Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, " My father!" And he said, "Here I am, my son.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Look buddy, he is insane!

Ferret's Elf

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I've said it before, & I'll say it again, Love me some Pearls'!

I forgot I was on FB and almost posted "When they find you naked having sex!"....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

But, the damn bedroom door is still off-limits & you're all old enough by now to figure out why!

Judge not lest ye be toasted....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Two for my neck & head, two more to stand in for my imaginary girl!

Sometimes the simplest answer is the right one....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

fuckin' works for me!

He's not wrong....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Oh, the irony!

Mahavishnu orchestra birds of fire... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

And a bit more of a rarity... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmEJPhUaJ3A=PL94gOvpr5yt162XrJ3M6R2iRoeGsXCaOL

CW: Post contains a bad pun...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

this will help explain...

Or aliens or whatever...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I'm not only not giving a flying fandango, but if I did I'd be glad!

Why it's good to have friends with alcohol...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

If your depression looks like that, you ain't got it so bad, mine tends to look like this...

Size does matter....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Shame, pay attention, Eric, you of all people! It's been only a day since the last posting of this!!! I forgive you, I know you're busy, like trying to work & meme at the same time & all!

More bathroom humor...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

(OK, nasty snark coming) the real bathroom humor is when you pull it out to pee!

It's how I pick my friends...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Good advice, as always, Eric!

Worms are gross and mornings are stupid...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That the cats didn't get them as they slept the night before!

And on that note I shall return Going to my besties to have a brew

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Like I've ever looked for a brews calorie content! Alcohol content, maybe, calories you burn off when you get into bar fights!

Earworm...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I have a whole army to fight earworms!

Weather Report - Sweetnighter (1973) ... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& tho Miroslav was great, here is one with the incomparable Jaco Pastorius... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvhmaNlLgRM=PL5dxDO5QTzYYM8t-8c_5-9rUz43Nnju4p

Rebellious child

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That would be a trial for both o them!

Weather Report - Sweetnighter (1973) ... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

"Boogie Woogie Waltz" (J. Zawinul)– 13:06 "Manolete" (W. Shorter)– 5:58 "Adios" (J. Zawinul)– 3:02 "125th Street Congress" (J. Zawinul)– 12:16 "Will" (M. Vitouš)– 6:22 "Non-Stop Home" (W. Shorter)– 3:53 Personnel Josef Zawinul – piano (2, 6), electric piano (1-5), synthesizer (1, 2, 6) Wayne Shorter – saxophone Miroslav Vitouš – acoustic bass (1, 2, 4), electric bass (3, 5) Andrew White - electric bass (1, 4, 6), English horn (3, 5) Herschel Dwellingham - drums (1, 2, 4, 6) Eric Gravatt - drums (2, 4, 6) Muruga Booker - Moroccan clay drums (1, 2), roller toy (3), Israeli jar drums (4) Dom Um Romão - percussion, wood flute

Today I found my first grey pubic hair.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Timing is everything! That & 'location, location, location"!

Father: “Son, you were adopted.” Son: “What?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That's what he gets for breaking curfew!

I'm a mess, my room's a mess and I can't seem to do anything about it.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

It may be trite, & may not help right now, but,..."This too shall pass." Breathe, my dear, just breathe. It will get better.

So true. I always feel horrible.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Or the sound when you get your cat's tail!!!

Woulda coulda shoulda story of my life sometimes..

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Too often the story of my life!

I’m like the weather, I pay not attention to criticism.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& well that you don't! LOL

Just fucking typical

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I'm proof that is not true!

Your basic Tuesday....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Well, we did plan that date? Wasn't it what you expected?

Nice guys - one for the ladies.... rofl

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Yeah, & for some reason, flashing doesn't seem to work, either!

For real though! My washer just broke

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Oh, no! Well, pray for a new one! It won't work, but it will give you a chuckle!

Thoughts on this meme?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& btw, this is a great meme, & I stole it also & posted it on 2 of my atheist FB sites! Great post!

Love this one.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

LOL!

Housing for All?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

But the poor baby had 'bone spurs'!!!

Passive aggressive level expert

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Shoot! I knew I wasn't going totally nuts! Sorry, good post, but Eric just posted this only a bit earlier, so see my comment there! LOL

Trumpty Dumpty Cheap Bastard

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Yeah, "too expensive". Well, what's a human life compared to the douchebag's profits???!!!

Since I've been doing so well for 2 years, today was my last therapy session.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Outstanding, & you'll always have us!

Webster's will be updating their definition of hypocrisy by adding a photo/picture of donald trump.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Add the "newsmen" from FauxNews, too!

The Dude Speaks

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Always liked him anyway, but now...

My Morning Ritual

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

That makes you hopeful!

Truthiness

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Yeah, & unfortunately I don't see any of us losing those any time soon!

Crisis Pregnancy Centers: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

As much of an old-fashioned a-hole that I am, I give to Planned Parenthood, & if I won a serious lottery amount one of the first things I'd do is donate to them & make sure it got as much news coverage as I could generate! It's about much more than just abortion rights, it's about women's rights & women's health rights! These twisted xtian activists need to be fought! Ok, rant over (for now!)

This one has probably been posted before

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Yeah, but still funny. I mean, ask a stupid question...

Voices can be deceiving

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& he wonders why all the 'spellths' come out wrong!

Easy there someone could get hurt

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

They don't call it 'banging' for no reason!

I hope this is totally inappropriate! lol

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Well, not necessarily inappropriate as much as unappetizing!

Have I expressed my opinion on vapers recently?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Yeah, & still nobody cares.

I was supposed to post this first thing this morning but I was too tired and grumpy...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Well, grumpy is sort of a permanent state for you anyway, isn't it?

Run water cooler..... Run while you still can.... o.... you don't have legs.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Wait! Black & white? Better hope that's not MS!!!

If there is a God you should be on trial for crimes against humanity...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

If it was the god of the bibble, even if it proved to me it existed there is no way I could worship such a horrible creature!

Why I don't have friends...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Obviously! That is so "cold". Of course, if I was the neighbor I'd then do only my stoop & then use his steps to walk, leaving my other steps w/ snow to make sure he knew what I was doing!

Basically I'm a product of children's television....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Bugs be my hero! I've said this before, but it's always amused me that 'tough guys' get Taz or Yosemite Sam tats to show how tough they are, & yet Bugs kicked their asses & did it with humor & panache every damn time!

When you want to be good parent but you just don't want to trip alone...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I hate it when that happens! So tough to keep that 'sync' going!

It's a public service really....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& it could be absolutely anyone!

At least the kids are protected against scissors...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Hah!!! LMFAO! Good one!

And they wonder why we hunt them for sport?

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

You hunt them for sport, I hunt them for food!

You can't be depressed when you're sleeping...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Yep, I use it for depression & pain. It's cheaper than heroin!

I so relate....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I don't think this is uncommon at all!

NRA BOARD MEMBER TED NUGENT SAYS PARKLAND SURVIVORS 'HAVE NO SOUL,' ARE 'PATHETIC' [newsweek.com]

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

F**k him! The piece of shit! Haven't liked his music since the Amboy Dukes, & haven't liked him for just about as long! He has no credibility except to FauxNews watchers!

Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this ...

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

& the required 50 feet away, but with binoculars!

Do not listen to them, they are poo poo heads.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Oh, the absolute amount of wrong piled up here! No, "Fucking Douchebag Shitforbrains" works much better in this case!

Neil deGrasse Tyson is not wrong....phonetically speaking.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Can you say...pho-ne-tics?!? LOL

When people tell me they hate babies I point out there probably cooking them wrong.....

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

LMFAO!!! Oh, good one, Eric!

Yep. It's a thing

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Look, I think bacon is the candy of meat, but,...really? Now if the woman insists, hell I'd wear a kale condom!!!

Pat Metheny Group - Dream of the Return [youtu.

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Excellent choice & excellent group!

George Thorogood - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer Live [youtu.be]

phxbillcee comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I actually knew & partied with the original band, "The Delaware Destroyers" When I lived there, way back. The bass player was a friend of mine from Newark, DE & before hooking up w/ George was in a band called "Rudy Bega & the Vegetables"!!!