If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

In a battle of wits you remain unarmed! A walk through the ocean of your soul would scarcely get your feet wet!

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

The "Shit Happens" police!

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

But, sometimes...

A short conversation with god. Mortal: What is a million years like to you?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

As bad as making deals with the devil!

I WAS THINKING that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

But, it would only be other husbands seeing it, & they ain't tellin'! They may need to use the same escape route!

I WAS THINKING about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but ...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

But, my balls bounce more than ever!!!

I WAS THINKING about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it ...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Even if you get all those answers right, you got it all wrong!

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& if they get offended, show them the door!

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

They might not always realize. It's best to be proactive!

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Ewww! Ketchup! Gross!

Funny taste?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You need to marinate them long enough!

Live, throwing copper... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Ed Kowalczyk – lead vocals, rhythm guitar (1989–2009, 2016–present) Chad Taylor – lead guitar, backing vocals (1989–2009, 2012–present) Patrick Dahlheimer – bass (1989–2009, 2012–present) Chad Gracey – drums (1989–2009, 2012–present) Track listing All lyrics written by Ed Kowalczyk; all music composed by Live. No. Title Length 1. "The Dam at Otter Creek" 4:43 2. "Selling the Drama" 3:26 3. "I Alone" 3:50 4. "Iris" 3:59 5. "Lightning Crashes" 5:25 6. "Top" 2:42 7. "All Over You" 3:59 8. "Shit Towne" 3:48 9. "T.B.D." 4:28 10. "Stage" 3:08 11. "Waitress" 2:49 12. "Pillar of Davidson" 6:46 13. "White, Discussion" 6:08 14. "Horse" 4:16

NEW DICTIONARY WORD: Bar-be-que (bar-bi-q) n.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Division of labor!

NEW DICTIONARY WORD: Dog (dawg) n.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

After it pees on the floor!

Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

A table with shaky legs!

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Other-words-like-your-word-book.

When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child ... eventually.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Evolution in action!

No outfit is complete without some pet hair.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Don't ever say they're not giving animals!

Figured I'd write a cheesy joke. What's everybody's plans for Good Friday and Easter Sunday?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Not even for the free buffet!

It's hard out there for a player

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Major pimp move, OG!

There's room enough for all Memes here...except Pepe....Fuck that dude!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& this is Eric on a "Good" Friday!

I have a bad habit of using the "like" button like a bookmark....

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Yeah, I tend to use it like a "Participation Trophy"!

NEW DICTIONARY WORD: Eternity (e-ter-ni-tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Or, the last set of commercials before the climax of your tv show!

NEW DICTIONARY WORD: Lipstick (lip-stick) n.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& reason you will sleep on the couch!

NEW DICTIONARY WORD: Men's Sale (minz sal) n.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You get what you pay for!

NEW DICTIONARY WORD: Grocery List (grow-ser-ee list) n.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& end up loading your cart with every munchie known to man!

Potato, potato

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You're right, same diff!

I have found my patron saint

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

That's so sweet...

West Virginia irony

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

He's not on his cross, so guess where he's hangin' out this week-end!

Rabbit report

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Good one! Been around, but never gets old!

For saviors in a hurry

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Get nailed in your car!

When you are standing in line and stick out like a sore thumb..

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

This is chicken-shit!

Peeper flasher..

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Leave your kids candy alone! It'll never last to Easter!

Not all heroes wear clothes. Love you Stormy. Call me!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You'll like him, he looks just like The Donald!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

They do put pictures of many of the presidents, don't they??

If you jogged backward...would you gain weight?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Sure, all from the blood loss as you tripped & split your head open!!!

Wonder what you would call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Don't.....want.....to.....know!!!

I have decided that nostalgia is the VCR of our minds.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I'm still working off Beta!

Feel like having some fun? 80’s only or relevant 70’s.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Can't believe I missed this! Is it on here??? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kha75ibIArk=PLWDf96enbLT32QwbV34N3R8pnOg0yCFR2

@Livinlife 's post got me all sentimental and shit so.....here goes.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You are so sentimental & such a softie (around the middle & from the neck up!) We love ya', Boss!

Nothing like a little nihilism on a Friday night.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You've either consumed too much or not enough alcohol! My advice is some hair of the dog & to start over!

A whole new level of douchery

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Too big to fit in a canoe...

Only moderate?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Is this like golf where a lower score wins?

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Takes me much longer!

Let's light this candle!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Only if I get to pick the drugs!

I don't even know.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I think some of the women on this site would use this!!!

Ah.......damn.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Towing zone for sure!

I feel like this kinda sums up this group.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You left out dead hookers, religious mockery & various types of porn! Otherwise, spot on!

Not my problem at all

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck (off)!

Shut your whore mouth

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Maybe not, but they give me immense satisfaction!

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

See, tell that to the vegans!

Forget about world peace...visualize using your turn signal!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

But, it's so much work!!!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& then we die!

Sex on television can't hurt you...unless you fall off!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& depending on the size of the "wet spot" possible electrocution!

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie!" until you can find a rock.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Ah, but,...

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Words to, hopefully, live by!

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

What our country was founded on, despite the Founding Fathers best intentions!!!

David Bowie Pin ups [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I'm sorry for the quality of this, the better one wasn't available. I will check for another!

I souport publik edekasion

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Me just didn't get none meself.

Well this isn't nice at all

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Two of them in fact!

Inner dialogue? What’s that?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

We'll miss you Hunter!

@EricTrommater this is for you

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Don't let her fool you, Eric, it's only water!!!

Everyone needs one

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

That is creative!

Bad ass bird

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Flying sea rodents, just like pigeons are flying city rodents!

I gave up mindless superstition... What did you give up Spider-Man?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Yes, I gave up Spiderman! (Use your commas, dude!)

A whole new level of douchery

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

So, what's the difference between "douche canoe" & "turd bucket"???

Fitness advice for reptilians...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I knew it!

Honestly, at this point if I were to see this display at a mall I'd probably see if I could sit on ...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I do so hope that's an Easter display & not Halloween!

Why I'll always be fat...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Lived for years in Philadelphia & surrounds, hard as hell to find the real thing in Phoenix! (Tho the Mexican food is awesome!)

It's about time... People are just not being excellent to one another.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Somebody get me a welding torch!

It's a matter of opinion

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I'm also "selectively polite". I'm also snarky!

Me, about an hour into my shift every day

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& yet, that doesn't stop it, does it?

...don't forget the peanut butter.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Does the kettle act in lieu of tin-foil?

Poor Jesus

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Yeah, never understood that!

Jesus Peeps

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Shouldn't it be his "sheeps"???

President Santos of Colombia making absolutely sure that they’re exporting quality dope to USA.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Yeah, but the aroma of really good weed, ah, ambrosia!!!

At least 10 characters

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Guys aren't simple so much as realistic! & I would have picked door #2, 'cause then I could buy door #3!

Once upon a tIme

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Makin' up shit is understandable. Thousands of years later & still believing it, that's insane!

Washington March

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Sharp!

A Teacher Learning Something New

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I assume you've posted this in "Gun Control", also?

Saturday Night Live Classic - The Box

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

It's tough to get the original of this bit on YT, tho "Mother Lover" is right there! I dunno!

Disney Humor

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Named Bizarro for a reason!!!

Time to make the (gluten-free) donuts.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Are we sure that's milk???

Gop cryIng lIke a baby

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Stole this, too!

If we all do our share....

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Stolen!

A sign I saw posted from the women's march: don't know what city the march was in but it was on ...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Think it was D.C. Another at the same march said, Super callous fragile racist sexist nazi potus! (Even tho the thought of him is really quite atrocious!) (I added that last!)

What's Mean To Live In Democratic Egypt,.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& we'll see how long that one finger lasts!

Leahy... [youtube.com]

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

It is so much fun to watch these clips! & the women are gorgeous! & talented!

If the person who named walkie-talkies had named other stuff...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Dreamie-Memie

My favorite of 13...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Very, very nice! Was it your design?

Still relevant.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Love the second one!

Praise Jesus

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

If that's a picture of the "quartet", they flunked elementary school math. Even if not, that is a perfect example of why one shouldn't marry your sister!

Remember cream?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hftgytmgQgE=RDEMzEuMISb4KxC2wTX0ltEnJQ

@Insectra translation please?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Ugly damn rodents!

MIghty joe wIns

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Don't mess with the Scranton Scrapper, the Delaware Destroyer!

Gotta love thIs

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Just be sure to get the Pence-punk next!

I love ths sIgn

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Now that's truth in advertising!

What problem?

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Too true!

MelanIa's tee

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& he's so self-involved he'd probably never notice!

Young fan of dobIe gray

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

The kid looks lost!