Had someone special come visit me for the past two weeks! Hope you're having a good evening!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2024:

Outstanding!

The clock is ticking [rawstory.

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2024:

It's almost like he's been lying about his net worth all along, and he's a soulless conman who punches down and pretends to be brave. Well, ok, there should be no "It's almost like" in the previous sentence. Chickens coming home to roost with the head chicken, BAWK BAWK, BROKE BROKE.

Be careful when making wishes. Genies take things literally.

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2024:

He is flush with success. Repeatedly. LOL

What a role model, he is so nice

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2024:

Good plan on paper, son. 🤪

“It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project”………….

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2024:

It takes the other half to realize you need to ask for help when you need it.

Pure class (this was published within an hour of her ranting about the Biden crime family)

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2024:

Where was that good guy with a gun we hear so much about?

Yesterday, I was having a meltdown because I couldn't access online banking.

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2024:

Identifying your own tribe, mostly. Like dogs smelling butts, but not as straightforward.

"A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

I guess this is the origination of the phrase "bag of dicks".

You just can't help some people.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

Udderly embarrassing, right?

Donald Trump has three interests in life: himself, himself and himself.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

Well, it's sort of like the holy trinity. Three distinct perspectives. Himself as a dementia-addled nitwit. Himself as criminal. Himself as a bigoted, treasonous, idiot tool of the Russians. Yeah, there could be more, but that works for me. For now.

Ugh, these bunches of twatwaffles!

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

Ass spurs!? Har har!

Jury Finds LaPierre and NRA Diverted Millions in NRA Donations to Personal Use A New York jury ...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

You got that right, Johnny. 😔

😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2024:

I read that the sneakers themselves, even with the gold on them, sell for $19.61. They just sewed a T on them (or most likely glued them on in a chinese sweatshop), paid Trump to brand them and sell them, then found a rich source of stupid rubes for the rest.

It's already Sunday! Hope you all have a wonderful day!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2024:

50 years my arse. You do that stuff now, don't you? LOL Good set, hon.

My 81 yr old nana , early Saturday morning , brought in by a friend bcz " she was acting weird / ...

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2024:

This is exactly why I swiped left on her tinder profile. 😌 I never understood paralyzing your face as a cosmetic. Sounds like some of that paralysis seeped into her cranium. Happy Sunday, hon.

For his easily offended followers

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2024:

Say that you are sending a part of the proceeds to mango Mussolini, then don't do it: profit.

Is Australia actually performing transmutation? ;)

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2024:

A good editor would have helped a lot.

I am NOT going to argue with this if it works...

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2024:

I can chip in a fiver to help with the airfare.

Clearly, it's a failure to communicate

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2024:

Maybe we all shouldn’t advertise and just, you know, talk?

Family of Canadian idiots move to Russia to "get away from teh Gays.

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2024:

Boy, they saw these rubes coming a thousand miles away didn't they? Sure put all your money in one of our banks, it's safe. Har Har. Can't spend any money and the movies suck, and no good hairdressers! 😄 Suffer, you bigoted shitbags. I do feel sorry for the kids.

A trump church now making it official?

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2024:

Moon's legacy. Like father like son. These guys attract idiots and nitwits like shit attracts blue bottle flies.

From the judgement by Honorable Engoron: "Donald Trump was aware of many of the key facts ...

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2024:

Brilliant defense: well, nobody complained, and the judge's clerk dated Chuck Schumer and rolled her eyes at me, so there!

When you have a long time for breakfast to be ready.

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2024:

If this works, it'll be a chicken dinner.

Funeral for transgender activist at St.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2024:

Receiving scorn from an organization which promotes and abets pedophiles isn't quite the burn these bell-ringers think it is. RIP, Cecilia.

Scam?

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2024:

Of course it's a scam. First, any kind of organized religion is a scam right off the bat. This kind of explicit manipulation of cult members is another, deliberate, deeper layer of scam. I have a rod for them, right here.

Do you have sympathy in your heart?

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2024:

I have often said that the only justice this turd-blossom will ever face will be at the hands of a mob. And I feel it coming.

The trump mining is rich today

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2024:

These are all terrific, buddy. 👍

It's time to die.

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2024:

The only plot hole: then who's the guy in Oz?

[gofundme.com] Hahahahahahahaha

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2024:

I think they have enough for like 4 days worth of interest on the outstanding amount so far. So you ignorant knobs need to step it up, dig deep!

This twatwaffle!!! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2024:

If we could also get Eric's face shopped onto Miss Hathaway, this would be Pulitzer material. LOL

Personally I can't decide if they look more Liberace-esque or RuPaul-ish but I'm sure no one will ...

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2024:

Michael Cohen just named these "Air Felons"! Har har, I am so there for this! LOL

Snookered Again!

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2024:

Golden sneakers, golden toilets, golden showers, golden memories. Maybe he got the idea from that place by the four seasons landscaping company that sold golden dildos. Hey, a buck is a buck. A huckster is a huckster, and a huckster's gotta huck. 😜

Incontrovertible evidence

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2024:

Finger cot condom Don, that's the guy all right! 😜

Prayer doesn't work you would be better off quiting...

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2024:

Well, at least this job gave you the opportunity to demonstrate to the entire world what a douche canoe you are, a real knob now known internationally. Good times, Mike, you assbag.

Lil Oil Change! Lol!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Aw VW's. My 70 beetle would need a catapult and a jet assist to get to 70, let alone 80. Those were the days, though. Very nostalgic set, MG, thanks.

Jesus - Made to Fit the way of life in the American South

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Technically, this should be a nail gun. *ducks*

Competition for Starbucks.😂

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Stormy and E Jean Carroll should start a coffee franchise called "Grounds for Divorce". Sorry, it sounded funnier in my head. I'll go now. ;)

I gotta go to sleep!!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Pre-annoyed is my cue to drink up and go to another bar. These hit the spot, MG!

By Jove I do believe he got it....

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Disclaimer: There are a LOT of things these boneheads don't know shit about.

Really? I guess common sense really is in short supply. 🙄

zeuser comments on Feb 15, 2024:

Does Satan actually pay attention to televangelists from Arkansas? If so, I've lost all respect for him. LOL

More Valentine's Memes!

zeuser comments on Feb 15, 2024:

Wish I had some of these yesterday. 😜

Happy Valentine's Day!!! 💘💞🎈💐🎊

zeuser comments on Feb 15, 2024:

The jerk store, eh? Great V day set, hon.

There you have it...

zeuser comments on Feb 15, 2024:

I recommend paying the extra fifty bucks for an aisle seat on the infernal express train. 😁

An early Happy Valentines Day

zeuser comments on Feb 13, 2024:

Nobody is. 8(

Fat Tuesday!!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 13, 2024:

Proper juice cleansing requires screwdrivers. Happy fat Tuesday, MG!

Happy Mardi Gras Day! Time for some gratuitous random acts of lewdness...

zeuser comments on Feb 13, 2024:

Laissez les bon temps rouler, y'all!

The Alien , watching for weeks at work collecting for u 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 12, 2024:

That fly is the only one who does. Good set, hon. 😁

The magic is still there

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2024:

I don't mess with that bayou voodoo, buddy. I got a salt circle around me, don't give me no shit now..

It can't happen soon enough

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2024:

And he already owns the plot!

Dedicated to one of our members we all know and (try to) ignore.

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2024:

I block people like that. I use the two strike rule.

Trump says he would 'encourage' Russia to attack Nato allies who do not pay their bills: [bbc.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2024:

Of course he would. However, I have to say, his comments sounded better in the original russian.

Owww!!! My head hurts!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 10, 2024:

Do those finger curls, they pay off in the end. Good set, MG!

This seems about right.

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2024:

Awww..

Do you see it?

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2024:

That shit's never gonna go bad. LOL

Nikki Haley Formally Requests Secret Service Protection The Wall Street Journal is reporting that...

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2024:

Nikki is just biding her time, hoping the bigoted lardass is convicted or struck by a heart attack so she is the only one left to run. I've seen some sad pandering suckups in my time, she is near the top of the list.

Something musical is in the air

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2024:

Elvis had better drugs, too. Good bashing, GL.

Proof Positive that Mike Johnson and the entire MAGA movement are all psychotic... [facebook.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2024:

Crazy bastard. Hearing voices? That is schizoid.

Nope, don't want them either.

zeuser comments on Feb 8, 2024:

Well, one of the defining characteristics of dickheads is they have no idea they are dickheads. Good try, you gotta try.

If god created man in his own image ...

zeuser comments on Feb 8, 2024:

Luckily, there is no god.

Did you know the origin?

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2024:

Hey Saint, wtf does this one actually mean?

Legit she said it and here is a link to other tweets she's deleted [projects.propublica.org]

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2024:

A title wave, eh? She is a Georgia peach all right.

Gotta go to work now, I'm late!!!😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2024:

Seven come eleven, babeeeee!

Mission Improbable....

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2024:

Has anyone ever seen a picture of Taylor and Kamala together? Hmmmm.

WHOOHOOOOOO!!! [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2024:

Welp, he's not above cheating, not above lying, not above misogyny, not above racism, SO, he is most def not above the law.

Logics... we don't need no stinkin' logics!

zeuser comments on Feb 6, 2024:

A point for all to ponder. Some longer than others, unfortunately.

I'm exhausted and it's only Taco Tuesday!

zeuser comments on Feb 6, 2024:

I'm gonna go with Colombia on this one. May all your tacos be tasty, MG, happy Tuesday!

Sometimes the lunatics get out of the asylum.

zeuser comments on Feb 6, 2024:

Wow, who knew we had a world, am I right? Jesus Tits. what an unabashed nitwit.

Taylor Swift gets Fox News to care…

zeuser comments on Feb 5, 2024:

I just hope the crazy ass magas don't hurt her.

Now that she's being replaced...

zeuser comments on Feb 5, 2024:

I think she'd give Bobert a run for her money in that type of contest.

Funny how that works

zeuser comments on Feb 5, 2024:

Yeah, now that you mention it...

C'mon squeal Weeeeeeee!

zeuser comments on Feb 5, 2024:

For the WIN!

FASCIST BOXES THAT TRUMP CHECKS Elevate the will of the charismatic leader over the rule of law ...

zeuser comments on Feb 5, 2024:

Yeah, that's them all right.

Sunday Morning, still need sleep!!! 😴😴😴😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Hey, card or no card, we could ALL do better, yeah? Good ones, MG!

Damn you Texas, you don't have it

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Walk in, waddle out shaking one leg. ;)

It is going to be a recurring theme, if he is not convicted first.

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Start with something simpler, like a shoe-tying contest. LOL

I think not.

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Jesus Marie, take the damn elevator!

Oh, yeah, okay, whatever! 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Gummy bj's, eh? Wow, that takes me back. Thanks for the memories, MG! Good set!

adopted from T. Parker

zeuser comments on Feb 2, 2024:

This is something to contemplate. It is not just for laughs.

In the beginning...

zeuser comments on Feb 2, 2024:

God is dog. Style-wise. 😜

I can relate!

zeuser comments on Feb 2, 2024:

Monopoly is worse.

I have never been a Kansas City Chiefs fan, but I guess I'll be rooting for them this year.

zeuser comments on Feb 1, 2024:

Go Chiefs!

Donald Trump lawsuit over allegations of 'perverted sexual acts' in Russia dismissed by UK court: ...

zeuser comments on Feb 1, 2024:

Nothing puts a rumor to rest like frivolously suing someone in open court about it. Besides, we all know it's true. 😜

Alina Habba fired by tweet, maybe she can sue.

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2024:

Firing Alina was a secondary point delivered after the diatribe. All the maga-douches agree with the diatribe. We can just laugh at it, though it is only ironically funny.

Stupidity Competition's all time big winners declared. Please give a big hand.

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2024:

If handled correctly as fantasy or science fiction, this can be Hugo or Nebula material. Zelazny would have used it.

What is his appeal?

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2024:

Hateful bigots always gravitate towards each other.

A plunger, I should have used that one on my ex husband!!! 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 30, 2024:

Corn, that's it. Be like corn. Very funny, MG! -----

A dashing employee - hardly

zeuser comments on Jan 30, 2024:

I've worked with this guy. LOL

George Bernard Shaw

zeuser comments on Jan 30, 2024:

True with any fallacious appeal to authority. But the bible does excel in this usage category.

Are you happy? I am happy.

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2024:

Fucking FINALLY.

It's halftime

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2024:

Well, *I* knew he was a crook. As for the football games, the only one I have left to root for is Andy Reid, who the eagles should NEVER have let go.

Another way he could have kept his mouth shut.

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2024:

Berder gag for the wimp gimp! For the win!!

I wish I thought about saying I was stung by a dick, way back when I was pregnant and people would ...

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2024:

These are hilarious, you naughty sweetie! Um, where is that motel? Asking for one of my buddies.

She has practice

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2024:

That's different!

Got another dick pic this morning! 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 28, 2024:

What do you call 53 millionaires watching the Super Bowl? The Dallas Cowboys. Happy playoffs, MG!

“Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper”………….Francis Bacon.

zeuser comments on Jan 28, 2024:

I sort of hope I'll be there for the next morning.

Woohoo!!! It's Saturday!!! 🎊🎉😴

zeuser comments on Jan 27, 2024:

Hunterrrrr! Good job, MG!

Donald Trump ordered to pay writer E Jean Carroll $US83.

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2024:

He will never ever pay. Time to start putting liens on his shitty properties.

Not if they plan to do that.

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2024:

You learn when you see the theory in action.

White supremacy

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2024:

Well, that automatic no goes both ways, darlin.

Trumpty Dumpty once again demonstrates that he is a delusional twat (and would be king): ...

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2024:

Where's your Putin now? LOL