zeuser's Profile

Shake it off, lardass.

Unity comments on Mar 20, 2024:

Love them all! 🤣

zeuser replies on Mar 20, 2024:

The deal about how he picked his own judges is the thing that rankles me the most. That is so Russian mafioso.

Shake it off, lardass.

DenoPenno comments on Mar 20, 2024:

Don't worry, Donald. She will not give you a penny. She will claim solidly at last minute that she is going to vote blue and we should too. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 20, 2024:

Her music is unspectacular but good pop, but I am coming to love that woman!

Ironically, Absolut is made in Sweden, a new NATO member.

Betty comments on Mar 19, 2024:

Grillbillies? Isn't that a fire hazard? 😲 Good set, Z. Thanks for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 19, 2024:

Grillbilly rule number one: if it ain't a fire hazard, y'all ain't doin' it right. You-re welcome!

Barely Tuesday!!!!! 😵😵😂😂

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2024:

Ooo, I guess I'll be in my room. Alone. 😜 Very funny set today, MG!

zeuser replies on Mar 19, 2024:

@Betty Theoretically, yes.

Now these!!! Lol!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

I'm surprised MBS hasn't put in a bid yet. Or, you know, maybe he has and there's still not enough. They will eventually nail Jared and Ivy too.

zeuser replies on Mar 19, 2024:

@pamagain I heard Manafort is coming back. You know, the Russian money-laundering felon pardoned by comrade Donald. Somehow I bet enough rubles will get washed to pay for the traitor's fine.

Even google can't help this poor schmuck..

michelle666gar comments on Mar 18, 2024:

C-3PO and Robocop! Beautiful!!!!

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2024:

With the extra lube, I bet it sounds like a well tuned Maserati when they go at it. 🏁

Even google can't help this poor schmuck..

Betty comments on Mar 18, 2024:

I'll take a half foal any day. :) Good set, Z. Thanks for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2024:

My pleasure.

Loafers would have been a better fit for spray tan Florida man.

Redheadedgammy comments on Mar 18, 2024:

WOW!I didn't know it was that much. Maybe the people are waking up to the threat of trump and repubs in general. 😉

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2024:

I think a lot of people were just relieved to see Uncle Joe in a feisty mood, not pulling punches, and making a strong case against the fascist alternative and for democracy.

Even google can't help this poor schmuck..

glennlab comments on Mar 18, 2024:

Well done, my good man.

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2024:

Thanks, Glenn!

The pig in the meme has a better complexion, but you get the point.

michelle666gar comments on Mar 18, 2024:

I see the similarities and the pig does have a better complexion! 😂

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2024:

I know, right?

I THOUGHT Mike Johnson reminded me of someone...isn't that special?

glennlab comments on Mar 18, 2024:

Perfect match.

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2024:

It surprised me how close the resemblance is. Except Mike isn't funny at all..

That's just how I roll...

michelle666gar comments on Mar 17, 2024:

The Star Trek one 😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Mar 17, 2024:

I don't like to use too many of the star trek puns, but they do have some good ones out there.

That's just how I roll...

Betty comments on Mar 17, 2024:

Stay clear of the Pope. That venom is lethal. 😂 Keep them coming, Z. Daily chuckles is good for the soul. :) Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 17, 2024:

You're welcome. If I can find 'em, I will continue to steal 'em and post 'em here.

That's just how I roll...

Redheadedgammy comments on Mar 17, 2024:

I can confirm that most all HOA's are full of Karen's and Ken's.....LOL

zeuser replies on Mar 17, 2024:

After 26 years of HOA horseshit, I moved into an older neighborhood with no HOA about 6 and a half years ago. Never looked back.

It's tricky to stay above the fray and still fly just under the radar.

silverotter11 comments on Mar 17, 2024:

So many puns so little time - hahahaha. Good set

zeuser replies on Mar 17, 2024:

Thanks! 😁

It's tricky to stay above the fray and still fly just under the radar.

annewimsey500 comments on Mar 16, 2024:

Lotta dickheads out there.....

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2024:

I know, right?

It's tricky to stay above the fray and still fly just under the radar.

Betty comments on Mar 16, 2024:

There is always a catch with free stuff. 😅 Thanks for the chuckles, Z. Another fine set you found. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2024:

You're welcome!

I never tip on the pad they hand you, I always ask where the tip jar is.

silverotter11 comments on Mar 16, 2024:

You are the master! These are too funny!!!

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2024:

Thank you. Flattery is always appreciated. LOL

Bonus: all animal set of stolen memes and cartoons!

Betty comments on Mar 15, 2024:

Another stellar set, Z. Thanks. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2024:

Thanks!

Bonus: all animal set of stolen memes and cartoons!

Redheadedgammy comments on Mar 15, 2024:

Fabulous animal set!! Love the dog at the desk the best. 🥰

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2024:

He loves his work.

Bonus: all animal set of stolen memes and cartoons!

glennlab comments on Mar 15, 2024:

Can you imagine a story about Jonathon Livingston Bagel?

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2024:

I can think of at least one big plot hole...

I never tip on the pad they hand you, I always ask where the tip jar is.

glennlab comments on Mar 15, 2024:

Well done.

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2024:

Thanks, man!

I never tip on the pad they hand you, I always ask where the tip jar is.

Redheadedgammy comments on Mar 15, 2024:

Steven Kings mother!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Very nice set!! 👌

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2024:

Thanks!

I never tip on the pad they hand you, I always ask where the tip jar is.

Betty comments on Mar 15, 2024:

Beware of toddlers with flashlights. 🤣 These are all good, Z. Thanks for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2024:

You're welcome!

Is this a common problem?

zeuser comments on Mar 15, 2024:

This will not deter the showoffs, and it may in fact make doing it more appealing if Bubba knows there's going to be an audience.

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2024:

@pamagain That's cold, Pam.

I never tip on the pad they hand you, I always ask where the tip jar is.

pamagain comments on Mar 15, 2024:

HAH! So that's where Stephen got his sense of the bizarre! Now we know! Thanks, Zeusie.

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2024:

Makes sense, when you think about it.

That, my friends, is all it takes.

racocn8 comments on Mar 13, 2024:

Donald Trump IS the deep state. Somehow, Putin has defeated the US military and intelligence agencies, who have stood by and let it all happen. Trump may be right to revile the military that have shown themselves to be cowards when it comes to defending the Constitution. Maybe it was always only an ...

zeuser replies on Mar 13, 2024:

Lardass is not right to revile the military. And Putin hasn't defeated anything yet, but he sure is trying hard.

Rollin' with Boelyn.

Betty comments on Mar 13, 2024:

Coke and strippers. Not the image most would expect. 😂 Thank you, Z for the laughs. Some days I need it more than others. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 13, 2024:

I can relate. You're welcome.

I like to inspire as well as entertain..

glennlab comments on Mar 12, 2024:

Only thing worse than the whale call is the silent fart that turns out to be the foghorn.

zeuser replies on Mar 13, 2024:

I remember doing that on a hard wooden church pew. Mom was not pleased. LOL

I like to inspire as well as entertain..

Betty comments on Mar 12, 2024:

Aww...the doggy is taking kitty for a ride. How sweet. Thanks for the chuckles, Z. These are great. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 13, 2024:

You're welcome!

Give that girl some black nail polish and a spiked collar.

EricJones comments on Mar 11, 2024:

How long did it take for bob to decide to come back.....

zeuser replies on Mar 12, 2024:

He probably put it off for a long as possible.

Monday, ugh!!!! I want to sleep more!!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

When you have two problems, one of them may be a solution in disguise. Give the whoreless pimp some of the nutsack cookies.

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2024:

@michelle666gar Looks like you enjoyed that. Good! 😜

Give that girl some black nail polish and a spiked collar.

glennlab comments on Mar 11, 2024:

Nice mix, good set

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2024:

Thanks, boss.

Give that girl some black nail polish and a spiked collar.

Betty comments on Mar 11, 2024:

After a successful day, Death enjoys an evening ride content with his days work. ;) Fun set, Z. Thanks for smiles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2024:

You're welcome!

Large Marge

Betty comments on Mar 10, 2024:

I wonder, how many men would enjoy using the urinal? ;)

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2024:

I'd aim for the tonsils, personally.

Now Putin (or "Poten" as the syphillitic asshole calls him) has two of his sock puppets praising ...

Redheadedgammy comments on Mar 11, 2024:

Couldn't read because I won't turn off my ad blocker. The title was enough to tell me it's really fucked up.

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2024:

Viktor Orban, Hungary's version of Trump but much further advanced as a sitting dictator, has cut an ad praising our own orange dildo. Of course DJ Dumbass heaps praise on the Hungarian autocrat. Two guys on Putin's payroll blowing each other. That's the gist.

Sometimes you just gotta kick back...

Betty comments on Mar 10, 2024:

Someone doesn't know left from right. 😂 Good set, Z. Thanks for sharing. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 10, 2024:

@Diogenes People don't realize how much bigger they are than crows. You're welcome, partner.

Sometimes you just gotta kick back...

pamagain comments on Mar 10, 2024:

Zeusie...you always deliver. Thanks!

zeuser replies on Mar 10, 2024:

Yeah, but nobody ever tips! You're welcome, hon. 😉

Sometimes you just gotta kick back...

Betty comments on Mar 10, 2024:

Someone doesn't know left from right. 😂 Good set, Z. Thanks for sharing. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 10, 2024:

You're welcome!

Relax, TSA probably confiscated the knives prior to boarding. Probably.

PaddyO comments on Mar 9, 2024:

Thanks for the laughs. Like doing a cannonball into lake feel good.

zeuser replies on Mar 10, 2024:

That's what I shoot for!

Morning Motherfuckers or Shit heads, whichever you prefer! 😂😂😂😂 Hope you all have a ...

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2024:

Weiner in the front, exhaust in the back. I wish I could hide like that cat, too. LOL Good ones, hon.

zeuser replies on Mar 9, 2024:

@Betty But I would go there for the cheap laugh. You know how I am. Heh.

Relax, TSA probably confiscated the knives prior to boarding. Probably.

Betty comments on Mar 9, 2024:

The intensity increases as soon as the top button is popped and all of a sudden it's a race to the bathroom. 😂 Another fine set you have provided. Thank you, Z. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 9, 2024:

Sure thing, Betty!

Don't make a rash decision when you order for takeout.

Betty comments on Mar 8, 2024:

I will pass on the chicken poopers you can have my share, Z. 🤣 Thanks for the giggles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

@Betty Um, stay away from kissing the pizza girl?

What did he expect for $2.00.

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2024:

A guy is walking back from a pier in Boston with a couple of buckets, each containing a big lobster. A game warden stops him, says "I have to write you up for poaching." The guy says "Now just wait a minute. These are my pet lobsters. I take them to the ocean every night and let them roam around....

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

@Betty It's the only lobster joke I have. But hey, at least I had one.

Don't make a rash decision when you order for takeout.

Betty comments on Mar 8, 2024:

I will pass on the chicken poopers you can have my share, Z. 🤣 Thanks for the giggles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

@Betty Yeah, that would be step one. LOL

Don't make a rash decision when you order for takeout.

Betty comments on Mar 8, 2024:

I will pass on the chicken poopers you can have my share, Z. 🤣 Thanks for the giggles. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

Sure thing, but I am more concerned about the virus-laden pizza.

This is from a Jennifer Rubin (Washington Post) email.

bookofmorons comments on Mar 8, 2024:

being perfectly honest, even for media outlets that do not support Trump, he still, as they used to say, "sells a lot of newspapers"

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

I have profited from capitalism. I suspect we all have. It is a good system, but it requires regulation. It's a touchy subject, regulating the press. It can be done consistently with the first amendment, but nobody wants to touch that electric fence The issue is not what the press says or does not say, the issue is who owns the outlets, and what it is that those oligarchs feed us. There is your toxicity. There are your lies by commission, omission, or unfair comparisons. And these are the guys selling a lot of newspapers. SMH

In this state, we hibernate, not against laws, to use our claws.

silverotter11 comments on Mar 8, 2024:

Some funny corny stuff, just what I needed.

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

@silverotter11 Hah!

They were never in the same picture together, either.

silverotter11 comments on Mar 8, 2024:

What Glen said HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA good set.

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

You can't go wrong agreeing with Glenn! LOL Thanks, hon.

Can't sleep, so here's some memes! 😴😴😴

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2024:

I am that 4-7 regular! Great set, MG. I need to start working with mashed potatoes. LOL

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

@michelle666gar I sent that to my bartender yesterday. She agrees, it's true!

In this state, we hibernate, not against laws, to use our claws.

silverotter11 comments on Mar 8, 2024:

Some funny corny stuff, just what I needed.

zeuser replies on Mar 8, 2024:

Every one secretly loves puns and wordplay, but they don't admit it. So your response is commendable. 😌

Can't sleep, so here's some memes! 😴😴😴

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2024:

I am that 4-7 regular! Great set, MG. I need to start working with mashed potatoes. LOL

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2024:

@michelle666gar It's a meme, hon, it HAS to be true.

In this state, we hibernate, not against laws, to use our claws.

glennlab comments on Mar 7, 2024:

cat emotion

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2024:

If you haven't heard of Jim Butcher's Cinder Spires novels, you should check them out. Cats play a very big roll as sentient characters, but they behave like, well, cats.

In this state, we hibernate, not against laws, to use our claws.

Betty comments on Mar 7, 2024:

Nope! Won't catch me arguing with a lion, he can have the whole road. ;) Thanks for the giggles, Z. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2024:

Sure thing, Betty!

Can't sleep, so here's some memes! 😴😴😴

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2024:

I am that 4-7 regular! Great set, MG. I need to start working with mashed potatoes. LOL

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2024:

@Betty Speed over power!

Nice shot. Practice makes perfect.

KateOahu comments on Mar 7, 2024:

ALL winners!

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2024:

Thanks, Kate.

They were never in the same picture together, either.

Betty comments on Mar 6, 2024:

These made me smile. Thanks Z. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 6, 2024:

Good! You're welcome

They were never in the same picture together, either.

glennlab comments on Mar 6, 2024:

I don't even have words. Great set.

zeuser replies on Mar 6, 2024:

Thanks, bro.

There is supposed to be at least one Supreme Court justice to oversee each Federal Circuit Court.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2024:

FDR gave this a shot back in the 40's, but he couldn't pull it off. This was a guy who won 4 national elections, and even HE couldn't budge the big money. Joe needs big majorities in both houses to pull this off. Y'all shouldn't hold your breath.

zeuser replies on Mar 5, 2024:

@Flyingsaucesir I'm in!

Nice shot. Practice makes perfect.

Betty comments on Mar 5, 2024:

These are great. Thank you, Z. :) Oh, by the way...will you be going for the all-you-can-eat spaghetti special? ;)

zeuser replies on Mar 5, 2024:

Glad you like 'em. Gonna skip the dinner, last time I wound up with chlamydia.

I might not have said it first, but I said it best.

Mooolah comments on Mar 4, 2024:

Is that Cult 45's basement?

zeuser replies on Mar 4, 2024:

Good chance it is.

Do you feel better now, Mr. Whiskers? Do you?

Betty comments on Mar 4, 2024:

Awwww. Look at the faces of those pups. :) Funny set, Z. Thanks for sharing the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 4, 2024:

You're welcome! Yeah, those are 3 sweethearts.

This says it all

glennlab comments on Mar 3, 2024:

Hope he meets the same end.

zeuser replies on Mar 3, 2024:

I've said many times that the only justice lardass will ever face will be at the hands of a mob.

I might not have said it first, but I said it best.

glennlab comments on Mar 3, 2024:

She's really going to be mad about the wet seat.

zeuser replies on Mar 3, 2024:

Sounds like either that's a tradeoff she is willing to make, or she didn't think it through.

I might not have said it first, but I said it best.

Betty comments on Mar 3, 2024:

Oh, Z. You have outdone yourself. 🤣 Hard to pick a favourite, they are all so good. Thanks for the giggles. :) Now I'm off to pick eggs off the eggplant. 😂

zeuser replies on Mar 3, 2024:

Hah! Glad you liked them!

You picked the wrong cat to pull this on, Erwin.

michelle666gar comments on Mar 2, 2024:

Beerectomy

zeuser replies on Mar 3, 2024:

So you are a doctor? LOL

You picked the wrong cat to pull this on, Erwin.

Betty comments on Mar 1, 2024:

Love the to-do lists. :) Thanks for the chuckles, Z. :)

zeuser replies on Mar 1, 2024:

Yes, ma'am, my pleasure.

What a role model, he is so nice

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2024:

Good plan on paper, son. 🤪

zeuser replies on Mar 1, 2024:

@Betty This young jerkwad will discover that in 6 months, if he remembers, and IF she agrees to speak to the idiot again.

Happy chef, happy customers.

Betty comments on Feb 29, 2024:

Stupid is as stupid does. 😅 Funny set, Z. Thanks a bunch. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 29, 2024:

You are welcome!

Plus, I heard the barre was passe.

KateOahu comments on Feb 28, 2024:

Yeah, I’ve heard all that crap before.

zeuser replies on Feb 28, 2024:

Haven't we all?

Plus, I heard the barre was passe.

glennlab comments on Feb 28, 2024:

Kind of fun hunting for ticks. They get in all the cracks and crevices that you can't see.

zeuser replies on Feb 28, 2024:

Depends where you do your hunting, but yeah.

Plus, I heard the barre was passe.

Betty comments on Feb 28, 2024:

Good advice from Jane Goodall. 🤣 Thanks for the laughs, Z. They all made me chuckle. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 28, 2024:

Good, my job is done here today, then.

Yeah, but it's laughing WITH you, not AT you.

annewimsey500 comments on Feb 27, 2024:

Maybe 2 million ticks in 40 square yards in that field I bet...all itchy now!

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2024:

I don't like ticks at all.

Yeah, but it's laughing WITH you, not AT you.

glennlab comments on Feb 27, 2024:

good ones

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2024:

Thanks!

Yeah, but it's laughing WITH you, not AT you.

Betty comments on Feb 27, 2024:

Batman's grandmother??? 🤣 You picked some really good ones, Z. Thanks a bunch. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2024:

You got it!

You just can't help some people.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

Udderly embarrassing, right?

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

@glennlab Well, it was a mistake on the biker's part. BUT, as you know, to err is human.... to forgive....BOVINE!

This trips up a lot of people.

Betty comments on Feb 26, 2024:

The baby Pterodactyls are so cute. ;) Fun set, Z. Thank you for the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

You are welcome!

This trips up a lot of people.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 26, 2024:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣TOO funny! Good laughs.

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

Thank you!

This trips up a lot of people.

glennlab comments on Feb 26, 2024:

They're all good, I don't know which one to comment on so I won't.

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

Thanks, boss.

You gotta take your inspiration where you find it.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 26, 2024:

🤣🤣🤣Excellent morning laughs! Thanks!

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

You're welcome!

You gotta take your inspiration where you find it.

KateOahu comments on Feb 25, 2024:

Ya really can’t blame the guy with the bottle, can ya?!