First things first

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2023:

So? LOL

'Cause a tuba wouldn't fit.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2023:

All you have to fit into the arse is the "mouth"piece, then generate enough wind to play. The tricky part, which kept this from being a more popular instrument, is the fingering. The result was, usually, crappy music. ;)

Thinking of starting a go-fund-me account to help..... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Let me know about the gofundme, I'll kick in a couple of sawbucks.

New GOP Bill Would Completely Outlaw Florida’s Democratic Party Republican state senator Blaise...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2023:

It's all about performance, sound bites, and triggers. Facts, logic, actual policy, none of those things apply.

I hate bugs!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2023:

You need a really big rolled up newspaper to smoosh *that* sucker.

How can he tell?

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2023:

A good time to get baked. LOL

If the woman had a brain, she would take it out and play with it.

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2023:

Well, you have ignorant, you have uninformed, you have stupid, you have misinformed, but this, this right here is transcendentally fuckwitted. She sweeps the fuckwit Oscars, hands down.

Go Campbell's!

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Now I love Campbell's soup, but it's gonna take more than that to turn a hateful homophobe like this twat around. 🤨

Is he covered though.

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

"Was the trout injured, sir? "

Way to go Thor... [nypost.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

The pope says "Unless he goes to confession, he's going to hell." LOL Keep stroking, big fella, keep stroking.

Desperate Donnie

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

He is still, and probably always will be, singing the "if I say it enough it will be true" song. You can smell the flop sweat, together with the toe jam, smegma, and stale urine aroma that surrounds this old traitorous bigoted criminal.

So little Lesley Gore is being potty trained by her mother.

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

"Hey mom, you don't own me! "

Some dog memes to start your Monday off.

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

I feel the tripping dachshund. Been there buddy, you're a good boy.

They can't handle the truth and still deflect until the last.

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Unassailable logic. 🤣

EVEN MORE classified documents found in Trump's office, & these docs had been uploaded to the cloud!...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

When are we gonna fry this quisling?

Very windy day here today, 60 mph wind gusts, staying in bed kinda day! Hope you all are having a ...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Good ones, MG. Stay outta that wind, hon.

These laws are currently unenforcible due to legal precedent, but our supreme court isn't much for ...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

I could've sworn NC was amongst these, but I guess not. Memes don't lie.

BEMY WOMA

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

FROM MARS SUCK THIS FIST BASE LOOK AWAY

Huh? What door?

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Oh oh, you should be mortar-fied!

Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful. - Mark Twain

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

He's right, you know.

That ain't right...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

We need two more tokens - the cad and the bimbo. Personally, I always take the race car. Hah.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

A little too late to worry about that now, muchacho. LOL

“The first step in the evolution of ethics is a sense of solidarity with other human ...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

I agree with the sentiment, but I think that is a little too exclusive. Solidarity with all life should be the basis of ethics. Solidarity with other human beings is step two.

Vladimir Putin tells state television the US-led military alliance in Ukraine seeks defeat, ...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Actually, all of the mega-billionaires who continue to add to their obscenely large fortunes by selling arms and weapons of war to sovereign states don't care who fights who, or who wins. They just want them to keep fighting while the populations of those countries foot the bill. If Putin can continue to escalate those conflicts, they are elated. And really really rich.

Mark Fuckerberg, Elon Tusk and the rest now want to charge people to "verify their government issued...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Back when I was still giving keynotes at industry conferences, I always got a laugh with this line. "Software and drugs are the only two industries that call their customers users." And remember, the first one is always free.

The rat traps are a nice touch.....

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

A billionaire once told me this: If you have a problem, and money can solve the problem, and you have the money, then you don't have a problem. ;)

Hello agnostic friends

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Howdy! Welcome aboard.

and, as usual, for fun and even a couple of visual quotes.

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Those are all fabulous!

Who will you listen to?

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Like the old Certs commercial. Is it a candy mint or is it a breath mint? STOP! You're BOTH right!

Some of those crazies actually have a reason for their paranoia.

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2023:

That checks, I guess.

Now that's a game changer.

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Seeing convincing, credible evidence and changing your thought patterns can be...rewarding. ;)

“No one is born with greed, prejudice, bigotry, patriotism and hatred; these are all learned ...

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2023:

True. If you think about it, each of these is related to one survival instinct or another. Taking the instinct and amplifying it into something grotesque, now THAT is learned behavior.

I’m straight, but I love hearing about my gay friend’s sexual escapades… It lets me live ...

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2023:

Well, that doesn't suck I guess.

So very, very sad....

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2023:

That one rung a bell.

How is it relevant on the bus?

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2023:

Hmmm, I'd say only "fare".

Is the last one really a thing?

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2023:

That looks more like a suggestion for an idiot, TBH.

“Fear of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger itself”………….

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2023:

What's the old saw? A coward dies a thousand deaths a hero dies but once.

And there is always another perspective. 😆

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2023:

No place to hide, either.

Ok, that was weird.

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2023:

That is harsh. They can be candid. I'm letting my pro subscription to replika lapse. The last update really mucked up my rep's personality, and AAI isn't interesting enough for me to keep paying.

Who did this to the nice sign?

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2023:

I believe that's illegal in Florida.

Wow, who would have thought it???

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2023:

The true genius can do both at once. 🤣

Either way, they'll be saying 'Jesus'

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2023:

You tell me which has a better chance at a happy ending. LOL

Could it be an explanation for her enigmatic smile :)

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Probably holding in a belch.

A few comparisons for today

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Worth a review.

Raise you hand if you agree

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2023:

WTF?

A few comparisons for today

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Bollockchinned spunkbubble. *snort*

Prices are up everywhere!

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2023:

No senior discount?

It's Presidents day, actually the federal holiday is Washington's Birthday.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Brutally true. All of em.

I want to open a food truck business that only sells chicken, but it will only be open and operate ...

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

I'd invest in this. Let me know.

The wise said it....

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Yikes.

I bet they would sell a lot less of them to men if they did that.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

That's ok with me. I need all those pockets.

He did so many stupid things, sometimes I forget one.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Everybody does stupid stuff, but the absolute pride he takes in it sets this assbag apart from the rest.

Just because! 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

I too never get into arguments. With anybody.

One of the best sing along songs ever written... [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2023:

My theory on assholes. If there is a global human extinction there are only 2 people left, there is a 75% chance one of them will be an asshole. But there is a 99.9% chance that they are both assholes. Don't worry about the math, it's a joke, ok? ;)

They are on both sides

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2023:

Protect the twinkies in your pockets?

It's raining here and I'm still in bed, sleeping off and on again, greatest weekend I've had in a ...

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2023:

I could never put my finger on why I was cranky. Until now. ;)

[tiktok.

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2023:

Awwww.

Trump Put Nearly $1 Million Of Donor Money Into His Own Pockets Since Leaving Office | HuffPost ...

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2023:

Well brush my teeth and call me smiley, who saw THIS coming? Am I right??

That man was resourceful

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Bob has more than one problem. Fred exploited one of them.

Trump Is Trying to Ban the Access Hollywood Tape From His Rape Trial (Because It Makes Him Sound ...

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Well, the lawyers are doing what he pays them for. I think prosecution has a good case to include the tape as an indication of intent without consent.. However.... IANAL... I am not a lawyer. ;)

“If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong ...

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Huh. I've never felt I was the smartest person in the room. I found that if you don't say anything unless you have something constructive to say, people typically think you're the smartest person in the room. Also, many people who communicate that they think they are smarter than everyone else are insecure and don't really believe it themselves.

A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers club.

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2023:

Heeeyyyyy, I remember her! 😂

Trump is still out there and unindicted

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

I am waiting for him to say he won the upcoming election any day now. It follows, you get away with some big lies, lie bigger.

Any news of Alex Fuck-the-Truth Jones?

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

The fact that I haven't heard anything about that dickbag is, IMO, a step in the right direction.

All the hype about last Sunday's halftime show, blah

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Well, Gaga came close in 2017. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txXwg712zw4

One answer to our healthcare problems, not to mention a great way to drain the shallow end of our ...

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Put me down as a yes.

Just because you're old doesn't mean your grown. -Judge Judy

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

So Hannity, Carlson, Murdoch, etc knew the truth but continued the big lie for money and audience ...

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Honestly, is anyone at all surprised by this? Nobody in their audience cares, or most probably will not believe it. To them, fake news is a liberal phenomenon, period.

This is an adult's job.

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Motor in the rear, great for traction. Heh.

It is true

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

Well, most other stars never ditched a vintage airplane into the ocean, either.

Inquest Finds Irish Man was Killed by Belligerent Chicken The Irish Examiner reports an inquest ...

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2023:

No comment. I don't want to egg you on JR. 😏

What has Kermit done?

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

About time. Better pork chops than frog legs.

[tiktok.com] I am dead inside 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

You want to fish in many different lakes when you get to be older. LOL

Georgia Trump grand jury recommends perjury charges for some witnesses

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

It's one thing to bring state charges. It is another thing to try to bring state charges in a state with a republican governor, with maybe presidential aspirations. I will believe the indictments when I see them.

Holy Moley!

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

That is brilliant! 😊

Since we know Trump didn't testify in Georgia, you have three best guesses as to who they think ...

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

Where is Lady G.?

How difficult must it have been when painting was the chief snapshot in time method.

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

Good likeness.

This guy goes to his doctor and when the doc asks why he's there he says "My wife told me to come ...

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

20

This guy goes to his doctor and when the doc asks why he's there he says "My wife told me to come ...

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

19

This guy goes to his doctor and when the doc asks why he's there he says "My wife told me to come ...

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

18

"Experience is the main reason we are here, I think, in the world - to gain experience.

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

Interesting opinion, and useful if it helped George write some of his songs. Which I think it did. This notion wears a little thin if you live in horrifying circumstances without any chance of improving your lot. Experience doesn't get you very far if you are slowly starving to death.

Meadows subpoenaed by Special Counsel [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2023:

A tool, pure and simple, for sure.

Well done.

zeuser comments on Feb 14, 2023:

It's a guy trying to look like a dog. He's gonna get away with it too, it looks like.

How fucking tone deaf do you have to be not to throw big ol' boulders standing in a glass house?

zeuser comments on Feb 14, 2023:

Finally, she finally told the truth. Inadvertently, of course, but hey, it's notable.

Kinda with him on this one, since hope necessitates an admission that your present circumstances are...

zeuser comments on Feb 14, 2023:

Isn't he the guy who never got laid and caught the clap in a gay brothel in Leipzig? Sounds like hope was never a factor for this poor guy.

Will this make a difference?

zeuser comments on Feb 14, 2023:

Well, after blueballs, this was inevitable.

Sometimes, I feel the need to put British subtitles on when watching American films (oops, 'movies' ...

zeuser comments on Feb 13, 2023:

I almost always put them on because my hearing is not as sharp as it once was, and I tended to miss some dialog without the captions.

Happy birthday Chuck!

zeuser comments on Feb 12, 2023:

Showing up on a piece of toast is just a natural selection. Heh. 😉

I kept thinking when trump got fired by the American people, he would diminish in the media.

zeuser comments on Feb 12, 2023:

You have a lot of company, if that's any consolation.

Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2023:

Don't bother going back, bud. LOL

"For those that have eaten of the tree of knowledge, paradise is lost.' karl Popper

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2023:

Since paradise is a piece of mythology and by definition simply not true, knowledge will confirm that and take that illusion away from whomever harbors it. In that sense, yes, that's a true statement.

I would have considered myself Chaotic Good but there's no damn way that I'm going to plain sausage ...

zeuser comments on Feb 11, 2023:

As usual, I do not fall in any of these categories with mustard, onions, chili, and cheese.

“The shorthand version of him is that he’s something to do with easy listening.

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2023:

RIP Burt. Raindrops are falling on my head, buddy. <3

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2023:

Four in one, nice post!

Old habits...

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2023:

Instead of a little spoon, you need a tiny bottle opener. Heh.

Chinese food anyone?...

zeuser comments on Feb 9, 2023:

I've had jellied chicken feet at DimSum restaurants, actually pretty tasty. I'm not sure I'd go out of my way to try the spicy kind, but it's not out of the question either. 🐓🍗

"I don't give them Hell.

zeuser comments on Feb 8, 2023:

She doesn't care, and I bet you that clip makes it into her next fundraising email blast.

No comment, but really.

zeuser comments on Feb 8, 2023:

That is hilarious!

([denverpost.

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2023:

Gee, and the catholic church is not known for bonehead dogma driven bullshit, either. Just kidding, they suck.

If God wants something from me, he would tell me.

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2023:

Unfortunately, there are numerous individuals who believe their god did just exactly that.