Yeah, but it's laughing WITH you, not AT you.

glennlab comments on Feb 27, 2024:

good ones

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2024:

Thanks!

Yeah, but it's laughing WITH you, not AT you.

Betty comments on Feb 27, 2024:

Batman's grandmother??? 🤣 You picked some really good ones, Z. Thanks a bunch. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2024:

You got it!

You just can't help some people.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2024:

Udderly embarrassing, right?

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

@glennlab Well, it was a mistake on the biker's part. BUT, as you know, to err is human.... to forgive....BOVINE!

This trips up a lot of people.

Betty comments on Feb 26, 2024:

The baby Pterodactyls are so cute. ;) Fun set, Z. Thank you for the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

You are welcome!

This trips up a lot of people.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 26, 2024:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣TOO funny! Good laughs.

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

Thank you!

This trips up a lot of people.

glennlab comments on Feb 26, 2024:

They're all good, I don't know which one to comment on so I won't.

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

Thanks, boss.

You gotta take your inspiration where you find it.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 26, 2024:

🤣🤣🤣Excellent morning laughs! Thanks!

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2024:

You're welcome!

You gotta take your inspiration where you find it.

KateOahu comments on Feb 25, 2024:

Ya really can’t blame the guy with the bottle, can ya?!

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

Blame him? I AM him.

A very short valedictory address.

KateOahu comments on Feb 25, 2024:

I KNEW it had to be a rabbit!

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

The huge pellets were a dead giveaway.

😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2024:

I read that the sneakers themselves, even with the gold on them, sell for $19.61. They just sewed a T on them (or most likely glued them on in a chinese sweatshop), paid Trump to brand them and sell them, then found a rich source of stupid rubes for the rest.

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

@michelle666gar That sounds about right. They (the goofball party) want to legalize that here.

The last one seemed popular, so, bonus dad joke 2.

annewimsey500 comments on Feb 25, 2024:

Have i mentioned using The Door, lately?

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

The question is, can you do better? ;)

You gotta take your inspiration where you find it.

glennlab comments on Feb 25, 2024:

priceless princes collection.

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

Yeah, you want one who can rescue YOU. Not that I need rescuing. ;)

You gotta take your inspiration where you find it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2024:

There are days when I could use that recipe book....

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

That is a weeknight time saver, for sure.

The last one seemed popular, so, bonus dad joke 2.

pamagain comments on Feb 25, 2024:

HAH! That's a stinker, Zeusie.

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

Yeah, but it's a DAD stinker. LOL

A very short valedictory address.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 25, 2024:

Yeah, people skills, I can identify - hahahahaha. Good set all around!

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

Thanks, SO.

He's right, you know.

Pralina1 comments on Feb 25, 2024:

The reason i get upset and freaking out every x this site is down or i cant get in etc , is exactly bcz of posts like this . First i had to google 3 of these words , then i had to google who the author was , and in short , the things i learn here , i havent learned in schools and no way i will had ...

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2024:

Keep googling. I try to learn at least one thing a day. 🎓 It's a good habit.

A very short valedictory address.

michelle666gar comments on Feb 24, 2024:

I hate when my boyfriend accuses me of cheating when I'm out on a date with my other boyfriend, so annoying! 🙄🙄😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 24, 2024:

It’s irritating, isn’t it?

A very short valedictory address.

Betty comments on Feb 24, 2024:

Good set, Z. Crumbs in the Pringles can...😂

zeuser replies on Feb 24, 2024:

Thanks!

A very short valedictory address.

glennlab comments on Feb 24, 2024:

You're in rare form today, very good set.

zeuser replies on Feb 24, 2024:

Thanks, guys.

Stay tuned for our broadcast of the play "Cats".

KateOahu comments on Feb 23, 2024:

You’re pathetic.

zeuser replies on Feb 24, 2024:

When you gotta ask, you take what you can get.

I am NOT going to argue with this if it works...

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2024:

I can chip in a fiver to help with the airfare.

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Pay it in rubles. Don't tell them about the exchange rate. Or the sanctions.

Looks cozy though, doesn't it?

Switchcraft comments on Feb 23, 2024:

Cemetery - will have to remember that 👍

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2024:

I'm guessing it would work better somewhere they don't know you.

Looks cozy though, doesn't it?

Betty comments on Feb 23, 2024:

The fight between two submarines is truly epic...🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for the giggles, Z. You picked good ones. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2024:

You can't tell who's winning. Thanks Betty.

Looks cozy though, doesn't it?

glennlab comments on Feb 23, 2024:

Good ones.

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2024:

Thanks, Glenn.

Stay tuned for our broadcast of the play "Cats".

Betty comments on Feb 22, 2024:

You sourced out good ones. Can't pick a favourite. Thanks for the giggles, Z. You're the best. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 22, 2024:

Thanks. I am not the best. I steal from the best. 😉

Fox host claims Black voters will back Trump because they 'love sneakers' "Benign" racist reason ...

annewimsey500 comments on Feb 22, 2024:

Not only Oblivious but Racist.....what a combo!

zeuser replies on Feb 22, 2024:

I know, right?

You can do it for George Harrison music as well as Ravi Shankar music.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 21, 2024:

I'm seeing a theme here, good set! hahahahahaha

zeuser replies on Feb 22, 2024:

Thanks!

You can do it for George Harrison music as well as Ravi Shankar music.

Betty comments on Feb 21, 2024:

Poor little piggy...I hope they get home in time or there is going to be an...oopsy! 😂 Fun set, Z. Thanks for the giggles. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2024:

You're welcome!

You can do it for George Harrison music as well as Ravi Shankar music.

glennlab comments on Feb 21, 2024:

Good wee set

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2024:

I know y'all like pissy humor. LOL

Trumpty dumpty, the walls are closing in.

bookofmorons comments on Feb 21, 2024:

Must admit, his latest con has certainly be a comedic gold mine. Plus the shoes aren't even being shipped til next summer

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2024:

No refunds. Which leads me to believe they will never ship.

He needs it to charge Adam's apple.

Betty comments on Feb 20, 2024:

The clothesline one is perfect. :) Thanks for the laughs, Z. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2024:

Your welcome!

He's right, you know.

jackjr comments on Feb 20, 2024:

Sounds exactly what is going now in the U.S.

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2024:

Works the same in any country.

Also, here's your heart, I don't want it anymore.

ThinkingFree comments on Feb 19, 2024:

😂😅😆😄 ". . . HAIR OF THE DOG . . . 😅😂😆🤣

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2024:

For those fuzzy Sunday mornings..

Also, here's your heart, I don't want it anymore.

Betty comments on Feb 19, 2024:

Spectacular. Thank you for the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2024:

You are welcome!

Good idea, but no dice, jerkwad.

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 19, 2024:

Good ones!!

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2024:

Thanks, hon.

Tough business.

KateOahu comments on Feb 19, 2024:

No one pays attention to me.

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2024:

When you turn 50, everyone wants to sell term life insurance to you, so there is that.

Tough business.

Pralina1 comments on Feb 18, 2024:

PARTICULAR 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am dead inside 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2024:

@Pralina1 You also can't wake up someone who is only pretending to sleep. Zbudzić, in Polish. 😌💜

Tough business.

Pralina1 comments on Feb 18, 2024:

PARTICULAR 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am dead inside 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2024:

He can find you. Lightning bolts are zeuser territory, you know. 😁⚡️

What's tackier than a gold toilet?

glennlab comments on Feb 18, 2024:

I can't believe people are stupid enough to buy those things. Nothing says I'm a dumb hick like gold sneakers with a T on the side.

zeuser replies on Feb 18, 2024:

Maybe a red hat with MAGA on the front?

Tough business.

Shaggy2018 comments on Feb 18, 2024:

The olive oil...priceless!

zeuser replies on Feb 18, 2024:

Actually, 6 bucks a bottle. Two hundred bucks for all night.

Tough business.

glennlab comments on Feb 18, 2024:

Well done

zeuser replies on Feb 18, 2024:

Thanks, man.

Tough business.

Betty comments on Feb 18, 2024:

Good set, Z. Thank you for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 18, 2024:

You're welcome. I'm stealing from a new source today just to try it out. Glad you like it.

Snookered Again!

bookofmorons comments on Feb 18, 2024:

Think we would all be remiss if we didn't mention how fabulously gay they look at every occasion.

zeuser replies on Feb 18, 2024:

Ten to one Lindsey Graham already has 4 pairs. LOL

Hill to table, fresh as you can get...

Betty comments on Feb 17, 2024:

A retainer on a vampyre? What a hoot! 😂 Thanks, Z. These are funny. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 17, 2024:

You're welcome!

Lil Oil Change! Lol!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Aw VW's. My 70 beetle would need a catapult and a jet assist to get to 70, let alone 80. Those were the days, though. Very nostalgic set, MG, thanks.

zeuser replies on Feb 17, 2024:

@KateOahu In 1976, I bought a clamshell cartop carrier and loaded my yellow bug with everything i owned and traveled from Pennsylvania to Denver for my first job out of grad school. That 42 horsepower bug rarely got over 60mph, but we made it! AM radio all the way baby!

Jesus - Made to Fit the way of life in the American South

zeuser comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Technically, this should be a nail gun. *ducks*

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2024:

@anglophone I never really got that holy trinity situation. Very supernaturally fucked up.

Well well, someone is on the hook for 355 million smackers, and his two useless sons are also fined ...

anglophone comments on Feb 16, 2024:

And now watch for all the appeals that the Tangerine Turd will lodge! See also https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-17/donald-trump-must-pay-543-milllion-in-penalties-ny-judge-rules/103479874

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2024:

He has to put the full amount in escrow or post a big bond to appeal, assuming anybody wants to underwrite him.

Well well, someone is on the hook for 355 million smackers, and his two useless sons are also fined ...

racocn8 comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Anything and everything that takes that POS down. The real problem is that his asshole followers don't see any consequences beyond losing elections (if we stay lucky). I would rapture them yesterday to Pluto or the Sun.

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2024:

Me too, partner.

Acrophobic health epiphany..

Betty comments on Feb 16, 2024:

Bob made it creatively clear. 😅 Good set, Z. Thanks. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2024:

You are quite welcome.

Acrophobic health epiphany..

annewimsey500 comments on Feb 16, 2024:

FOLD a fitted sheet???????? I saw Martha Stewart demonstrate the method once and it took Her 5 minutes!!!!!!

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2024:

Oh FFS, I've been doing it for decades. Takes me about 90 seconds.

Wasn't that hump on the other side yesterday?

Betty comments on Feb 15, 2024:

Chicken tenders...yum. 😁 Fun set, Z. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 15, 2024:

You're welcome!

An early Happy Valentines Day

zeuser comments on Feb 13, 2024:

Nobody is. 8(

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2024:

@Betty I got the receipts. It's true. LOL

Yeah, but would it be art?

Betty comments on Feb 13, 2024:

I knew an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die. 😂 Great set, Z. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2024:

Bad news. She ate the horse. She's dead, of course. You're welcome!

Happy Mardi Gras Day! Time for some gratuitous random acts of lewdness...

michelle666gar comments on Feb 13, 2024:

Fat Wednesday, perfect!!!! Here where I live, I'm going to see the ashes on foreheads all day! Lol!!!

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2024:

I remember that particular piece of catholic voodoo. I see a fair amount of that here in north cackalacky, even though most people are bible belt baptists.

The polkas are the worst.

michelle666gar comments on Feb 12, 2024:

Holy cow 😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2024:

I want nun of that. 😏

The polkas are the worst.

Betty comments on Feb 12, 2024:

I can't pick a favourite, they are all good. Thank you, Z for the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2024:

You're welcome!

...and don't call me honey

glennlab comments on Feb 11, 2024:

What are you doing to his water bowl?

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2024:

Like he cares. LOL

...and don't call me honey

Pralina1 comments on Feb 11, 2024:

All great 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2024:

😘

And based on what I know he's going to have to pay, they WILL start bouncing.

annewimsey500 comments on Feb 11, 2024:

Looks like yer havin' a Rough day, there, sweetie, and many many more to come I hope!!!!

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2024:

Me too Annie!

Quick early opener for superbowl Sunday.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 11, 2024:

🤣🤣🤣It all makes sense now. 🤣🤣

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2024:

Cleared it up for me, too. 😜

Stretch it, stretch it....

Betty comments on Feb 11, 2024:

Leftovers...😂 Thank you, Z. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2024:

You're welcome!

You need to hurry before things start to warm up.

michelle666gar comments on Feb 10, 2024:

I'm the little girl and hating mornings and waking up! Good set Z!

zeuser replies on Feb 10, 2024:

Thanks, MG!

...and don't call me honey

michelle666gar comments on Feb 10, 2024:

Those cymbals are going to be shoved where the sun doesn't shine! Good set Z!

zeuser replies on Feb 10, 2024:

Thanks, MG!

...and don't call me honey

Betty comments on Feb 10, 2024:

When Siri abandons you, you know you are a baaaaaad driver. 😂 Thank you for the laughs, Z. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 10, 2024:

Sure thing!

You need to hurry before things start to warm up.

DenoPenno comments on Feb 9, 2024:

I can't work on a cold case any longer. It's more like a cold 6 or pints in a 4 pack.

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2024:

Do what you gotta do, buddy.

Pretty accurate, kiddo.

glennlab comments on Feb 8, 2024:

I understand that bald eagle tastes like a cross between spotted owl and whooping crane, in response to you dining out one.

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2024:

@glennlab I'm gonna have to take a close look at the meat in your yardbird and sausage gumbo. LOL

Pretty accurate, kiddo.

Betty comments on Feb 8, 2024:

Where did he think the sickos were going to end up? 😂 Thanks for the giggles Z. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Hey, don't tell me, tell it to the prince of darkness.

Pretty accurate, kiddo.

glennlab comments on Feb 8, 2024:

I understand that bald eagle tastes like a cross between spotted owl and whooping crane, in response to you dining out one.

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2024:

What, did you read that in People Magazine?

Pretty accurate, kiddo.

Betty comments on Feb 8, 2024:

Where did he think the sickos were going to end up? 😂 Thanks for the giggles Z. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2024:

You're welcome! Even devils can be clueless, I guess.

Did you know the origin?

zeuser comments on Feb 7, 2024:

Hey Saint, wtf does this one actually mean?

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2024:

@annewimsey500 Ah, a dialect joke. LOL Ok, got it.

Straight up, no olive, with a twist please...

Betty comments on Feb 7, 2024:

Good set. Thank you Z. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2024:

You're welcome, sweetie.

Giant wizard? Gizzard? Blizzard?

Betty comments on Feb 6, 2024:

Funny. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2024:

You're welcome!

Y'all see this? [bbc.com]

glennlab comments on Feb 6, 2024:

It's on every news source across the globe right now.

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2024:

Time to chill the bubbly. It's coming, I can feel it.

Y'all see this? [bbc.com]

Switchcraft comments on Feb 6, 2024:

It will mean something if SCOTUS agrees, or declines to take the appeal.

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2024:

One step at a time. This was a unanimous ruling, more than enough reasons in the decision for SCOTUS to ignore it and plan their next luxury vacations instead.

A family classic in the South

glennlab comments on Feb 6, 2024:

Slushy, mushy, hot and sticky

zeuser replies on Feb 6, 2024:

And hey, is that cheese? 😜

To be fair, that first one works both ways.

Betty comments on Feb 5, 2024:

You alway pick good ones. Thanks for the giggles. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2024:

Sure thing.

To be fair, that first one works both ways.

glennlab comments on Feb 5, 2024:

Spot on, good mining.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2024:

I know them when I see them, right before I steal them. Heh.

Now double click to accept...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 5, 2024:

Which just goes to prove they do everything bigger in Texas including losing...

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2024:

It's fun to see an arrogant, unlikable billionaire take in the shorts every year. Wish it would happen to more of them.

Now double click to accept...

Betty comments on Feb 5, 2024:

Good set. Thanks for the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2024:

You are welcome.

Now double click to accept...

glennlab comments on Feb 5, 2024:

nice ass.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2024:

You slick talking old smoothie, you. 😏

Oh, yeah, okay, whatever! 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Gummy bj's, eh? Wow, that takes me back. Thanks for the memories, MG! Good set!

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2024:

@michelle666gar Yes. It works.

Oh, yeah, okay, whatever! 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Gummy bj's, eh? Wow, that takes me back. Thanks for the memories, MG! Good set!

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2024:

@michelle666gar Hummers. you're thinking of hummers. But gummers is pretty accurate too. ;)

Damn you Texas, you don't have it

zeuser comments on Feb 4, 2024:

Walk in, waddle out shaking one leg. ;)

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Are you projecting again? LOL

Have you heard? I have the latest.

glennlab comments on Feb 4, 2024:

close as I could get on short notice.

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2024:

I think we all know astrology is horseshit. Except for Pisces, they swallow it hook line and sinker.

We're all adults here, right?

KateOahu comments on Feb 4, 2024:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2024:

You liked 'em, eh?

We're all adults here, right?

michelle666gar comments on Feb 3, 2024:

I'll set everything on fire, fuck it!!! 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🔥🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 4, 2024:

That's the spirit!

We're all adults here, right?

PaddyO comments on Feb 3, 2024:

I can't think of anything better to set on fire than a joint.

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2024:

I'm with you, bro, spark one up!

We're all adults here, right?

Betty comments on Feb 3, 2024:

Good set. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2024:

You are welcome!

Mirrors are a different story, but hey...

silverotter11 comments on Feb 3, 2024:

🤣🤣🤣caveman blind date🤣🤣🤣! Seriously funny set!!

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2024:

Thanks, hon. 😊

There are some key differences when people start with "what about".

anglophone comments on Feb 2, 2024:

That's about the size of it!

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2024:

@Betty You need to do some nasty shit to be president. "Traitor" is a loaded term. Reagan and Bush are pretty close. Clinton, I dunno.

Mirrors are a different story, but hey...

Betty comments on Feb 2, 2024:

The earrings are a hoot. Thanks for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2024:

You're welcome.

The eyes have it. Visine for everybody!

michelle666gar comments on Feb 2, 2024:

I only saw my demons!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2024:

Six more weeks of hell. 😲

The eyes have it. Visine for everybody!

silverotter11 comments on Feb 2, 2024:

Excellent set 🤣🤣🤣! Roy Uberson🤣🤣

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2024:

Thanks!

The eyes have it. Visine for everybody!

Betty comments on Feb 1, 2024:

Great set. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2024:

You are very welcome.

The eyes have it. Visine for everybody!

annewimsey1 comments on Feb 1, 2024:

Roy Uberson???????!!!!!! Lovin' it!

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2024:

Yeah, I liked that one too. Only people who remember Roy appreciate that..

Brining back tupperware and book burnings, today's conservatives.

Betty comments on Feb 1, 2024:

They should get really big Tupperware and seal themselves in. 😂

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2024:

Fabulous idea!

Tonight, an artist will be doing a painting of us on black velvet.

michelle666gar comments on Feb 1, 2024:

Awww, doggy has priorities!

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2024:

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. 😜

Tonight, an artist will be doing a painting of us on black velvet.

Betty comments on Jan 31, 2024:

Eat a billionaire??? I don't want to be infected with their greed... Funny set, thanks. :)

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2024:

You're welcome. For me, it would depend on the billionaire. The older ones tend to be tough to chew.

And why is "Hello Dali" playing on the office muzak?

KateOahu comments on Jan 31, 2024:

Many laughs…thanks.

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2024:

You're welcome!

Fork it over, assbag.

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 30, 2024:

And we want it now.

zeuser replies on Jan 30, 2024:

At the very least, this week's juice.