So I read in the news today that Putin is building a village near Moscow for American and Canadian ...

zeuser comments on May 13, 2023:

Take the frigging SCOTUS and the "Freedom" Caucus with you!

How's it end?

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

I think he'll run. Like a coward. Like an emasculated bully.

You won't hear this on Fox News

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

To the surprise of absolutely no one...

A man was getting a haircut prior to taking a trip to Rome.

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Good one!

A spinney of experience is worth more than a forest of advice. James Russell Lowell.

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Experience is something you get about 5 minutes after you needed it.

I will say one thing for the town hall, it gave Trump the opportunity to incriminate himself ...

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

I keep hearing various analysts say what a mess he is making for himself and how he is actually confessing to criminal behavior in public, but he is still walking around, a free man. It is infuriating and discouraging at the same time.

Orgy or funeral, anyone?

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Food trucks at an orgy, where eating out has never been more satisfying. 😜

Predictably enough Turdy McTurdface has filed an appeal against the $5m verdict: [bbc.com]

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Of course he did. His own lawyers are predicting the appeal isn't even going to be heard.

No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and ...

zeuser comments on May 11, 2023:

At least we are giving the nazis amongst us an opportunity to self-identify, and they sure are taking advantage of that opportunity.

English can be confusing.

zeuser comments on May 11, 2023:

For the camel, only on hump day. ;)

I wonder! About once a year I buy the newest "non-stick" frying pan.

zeuser comments on May 11, 2023:

Same thing happens with the stone or ceramic coated pans. Things are non stick for while, but slowly they deteriorate to very sticky. Cast iron always performs the same.

I was going to ignore the CNN town hall featuring one orange convicted sex assault criminal tonight,...

zeuser comments on May 10, 2023:

OK, I watched a couple of clips from this shitshow. I can't conceive of willingly watching more. Sorry for wasting y'alls time.

Brits are rather good at this. 😆

zeuser comments on May 10, 2023:

Hell, I do it too, and there is no way you can mistake me for a brit.

Very unlikely but

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

What I need are more people in my life who can use their imaginations.

Trump found liable in the E. Jean Carroll case!!! 5 mil in damages!!!

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

All good, and congratulations to Ms. Carroll, BUT: He will appeal. This will take at least 2 years. This is a civil case, so there will be no incarceration. He'll never pay one single dime. But yay.

Also good he was sedated

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

Oh, and thanks for your kidneys.

If True, this gets me excited!

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

Ouch! 😜😄

Trump rape trial: jury to hear closing arguments in E Jean Carroll lawsuit | Donald Trump | The ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2023:

He's been sick for a while now.

No, thank you

zeuser comments on May 8, 2023:

You got any 11 foot poles?

Obstructionist regressive christofascists republican maga death cult reasoning!!!

zeuser comments on May 7, 2023:

The next non-cynical unhypocritical thing Cruz says will be the first non- cynical unhypocritical thing Cruz says. What a traitorous bigoted goon. 😠

They don't know what a genius is

zeuser comments on May 7, 2023:

In the "unclear on the concept division", this is a blue ribbon winner fer sure.

It's been an emotionally and mentally stressful week! Hope you all are having a great Saturday!

zeuser comments on May 7, 2023:

They made the weekend to let you unwind and release the stress. 💜😊

Not to brag about it...

zeuser comments on May 6, 2023:

Gonna need the industrial size mustard for that puppy.

Over domesticating cats is a problem.

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

They go straight to the pussy pics.

Finally some good news!

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

I'll take any good news involving losses for that asswipe.

Gas is expensive, so Rebecca decided to take the bus from today.

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

Well that sucks.

Trump fatigue kicks in early: Polling shows growing GOP "exhaustion" ahead of 2024

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

Interestingly, I have stupid bigot exhaustion. Coincidence?

Alligators on acid... Sounds like the makings for an interesting movie.

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

If a trippin' gator fought a cocaine bear, who would win? And would Samuel L. Jackson be in the movie?

Adulting is not for the faint of heart or the easily discouraged.

zeuser comments on May 3, 2023:

Wish I could say you are wrong, bro.

Trump's MAGA Repugs are still trying to destroy our Democracy.

zeuser comments on May 3, 2023:

This is a ringing endorsement for gerrymandering and misdirection using cultural wars issues. People vote for these assholes because they are distracted by rhetoric about how "woke policies" help "fraudulent poor people", and gerrymandering concentrates their electoral power while diluting the power of those who understand they should be kicked out of office. Toss in voter suppression, and yeah, voila. Good lord I hate American politics.

Corporal Bone Spurs

zeuser comments on May 3, 2023:

In the arse-wipe army, maybe.

Happy Wednesday!!!

zeuser comments on May 3, 2023:

These are hilarious! The fish hook made me clutch up my butt cheeks a bit, though..

Trump adjacent and frightening if accurate

zeuser comments on May 3, 2023:

They also like candidates who tell kids to stay off their lawns.

So now that Pornhub has blocked the entire state is Utah going to change their welcome signs to ...

zeuser comments on May 2, 2023:

Good documentary on Netflix called "Money Shot: The Pornhub Story", which you ought to watch if you are passionate about this kind of stuff, like I am. ;)

The draft dodging traitor looks so "uncanny valley" with normal sized hands

zeuser comments on May 2, 2023:

He should stay in Scotland.

Trump getting a traditional Scottish welcome at his golf course near Aberdeen.

zeuser comments on May 2, 2023:

He sure is!

I guess he should get in as many rounds as possible before...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2023:

If he asks for a big mac, he gets a hairy ginger in a kilt with a bad attitude and a caber.

The First of May...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2023:

Solidarity forever!

[tiktok.com] 😂😂😂😂😂😂dream crusher 😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2023:

Different than going after a second grade class somewhere.

Absolutely perfect

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2023:

Worth a shot. The kid ain't wrong.

Divorce sucks...

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2023:

Nobody wanted the kid because he was just a little blunt.

Men will be second to none

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2023:

Taking his life in his hands if he's in Florida.

Imagine that...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2023:

Yeah, but he is still in dire straits, am I right?

With so much sht he created, God needs a therapy

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2023:

You gotta wonder, how did the shrink get that referral?

A bank manager is unable to open the vault and calls a locksmith.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2023:

Really? The fucking *bank manager* didn't get a price first? You deserve what you got, dickwit.

I have CPR training today! Hope everyone has a great day!

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2023:

Some hard truths in these today, Michelle. Nice job.

Drinking on the sly...

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2023:

My dad used to do this when we went to football games in the winter. Nobody ever said a word to us about it.

“Men are born ignorant, not stupid.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2023:

While we overcome some of that ignorance, bits and pieces of it remain with us until we die.

Did she flip?

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2023:

So Shiv has had enough of Romulus and Kendall's shit, eh?

Keep in mind he could get elected again.!!

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2023:

Cheaters with lots of collaborators always have a shot at winning.

A writer's block is terrible

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2023:

He had great expectations of that drink.

I've got dibs on the liver.

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2023:

Ok, I call dibs on the kidneys.

Women break hearts

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2023:

Aww

Tucker Carlson is out at Fox News but welcome on Russian TV [nbcnews.

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2023:

Personally, I think he'd be a great on-the-scene correspondent for the Ukraine invasion effort.

Good Morning!!! Hope everyone has a great day!

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2023:

How many minutes are in a dingo? LOL Good set, hon.

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes ...

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2023:

Until it stops.

Weird, never saw this flavor in chips

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2023:

Nothing like crunchy coochie. Betcha can't eat just one. 😜

I had a thought about Trump I wanted to share.

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2023:

The predictable response "Fake news and a vicious lie from a wacko left-wing radical!"

Texas state department orders people to dress in accordance with their "biological gender" The new...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2023:

Does this mean that the TDA commissioner must dress so he looks like a douchebag? Just kidding, no need to dress that way, everyone knows wtf he is.

Seems his fall back plans may not work either

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2023:

Looks like he's exaggerating. Again.

The sad thing is it's not such a reach and they still wouldn't remove him from office.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2023:

I didn't like his nasty misogynistic pubic hair twirling ass when he was nominated, and this newer insurrectionist nazi homophobic pro-forced birth version of him isn't what I would consider an improvement.

Man Pulls Out Gun - Demands Closed Meat Department Sell Him Steaks Larry Gene Gay, 70, of ...

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2023:

One of your better entries here, Johnny!

From the Al Jaffe tribute department...

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2023:

Al (RIP, buddy) would've loved it.

1 : nana , 67 yr old .

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2023:

Your patients are lucky to have someone like you taking care of them. Rest up while you can, we don't need anymore TIAs. ♥️

This is so random, but I'm curious.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2023:

This year was 20 years tobacco free for me. I claimed I was a non smoker on my life insurance for a long time, but I cashed that out a while back without anyone being the wiser. I do like to taste the herb now and then, but that's a different deal.

What was the rush John?

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2023:

The first dance was to the theme from "They Crying Game".

Bible-belt atheists.

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2023:

I empathize.

Men have been getting a bad wrap [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2023:

21 seconds? Not the worst possible time. LOL

Didn't know he had a brother...Corn Dogg

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2023:

I bet he makes pipes out of the cobs. LOL

One young(est) problem solver and creative thinker. 😆

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2023:

He deserves some ice cream and encouragement.

Marjorie Taylor Greene silenced in committee after accusing Mayorkas of lying | The Hill

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2023:

I suggest a preemptive ball-gag. Green was really pissed, I understand.

What's going on London?

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2023:

Just some assholes, it looks like.

Rep.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2023:

I really don't like this asshole. Isn't he the same dipshit that made a cartoon anime of himself cutting off AOC's head with a sword? He should NOT be in Congress.

This is the reason that we can't reason with them.

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2023:

True that.

and uncommon words.

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2023:

I like all of these. ;)

Simple but perfectly played

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2023:

Frank had this figured out a long time ago. He died WAY too soon. Lordy, we need him now.

Way back in the sixties, there was a sheriff who would pickup hippies hitch hiking on the ...

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2023:

Ya know, nobody likes a bully. Nobody can stand someone who likes to punch down all the time. It's been my experience that bullying relies as much on perception as on unequal power or resources. But when the disparity between the parties is large, bullying is especially distasteful. Unless you are one of the bullies. Small town pols are the worst. Good lord what a waste of everybody's time.

Fox off to DEVASTATING start in trial, ALREADY hit with punishment - Brian Tyler Cohen ...

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2023:

Liars gonna lie. No surprise here.

Around noon EDT I thought the site went down.

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2023:

I find myself more frequently leaving the tab I have ag.com on for another tab whilst the site thinks about moving on.

Holy crap! The Phillies got 9 runs in the 1st inning while I was outside pulling weeds.

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2023:

I can't figure this year's team out. I hope they can string together several more wins.

Finally a kid that has realistic goals.

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2023:

You have to follow your dreams.

Florida to allow death penalty with 8-4 jury vote instead of unanimously | Reuters

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2023:

Why use a jury at all? Just ask Meatball Ronzo to call thumbs up or thumbs down, like the old Roman caesars. Save a lot of time and money.

You can dream, can't you?

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2023:

They both look, um, tired.

Very British Problems I was just in a packed lift (elevator) and a loud American man starting ...

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Really? You try to talk to me on an elevator, about anything, you get the look. 😠

Is it just me or?

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Not hypocritical. Criminal. It's been going on for a long time too.

It was a day like any other at the office for Dave, when all of a sudden, a bear opens his door.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2023:

Here is where the "pinching the bridge of my nose" emoji would come in handy.

Oh, oh...now what?

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2023:

Poor little guy.

Not a slip of tongue, it is about the tongue

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2023:

You never know until you ask. But you gotta ask! 😜

Party of who?....

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2023:

He did it, too. I danced and drank champagne the day he died.

When you're on trial for lying, don't keep getting caught.

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2023:

These guys just can't help stepping on their own dicks. A high level of hubris and questionable legal advice, plus the firm belief that nobody will discover their lying bullshit. As they say down under, fuck you, mate.

Good morning! Happy Wednesday!!! Hope everyone has a great day!

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Yabba dabba OOOOO. LOL Good ones, MG.

Manhattan DA Bragg sues GOP House Judiciary chairman to prevent interference in Trump case ...

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2023:

Jordan should be in jail, not chairing some horsrshit wingnut congressional committee with a vague bullshit charter violating the constitution each and every day he draws a breath. IMHO, of course. 🙄🙄

Get well, or get....?

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2023:

Ouch. All the time! 🤣

The day the laughter died.... Al Jaffee passes away at 102 years of age.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2023:

Awww. He invented the art of the fold.in. Snappy answers to stupid questions, too. 😔

“It is from the Bible that man has learned cruelty, rapine, and murder; for the belief of a cruel ...

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2023:

That's one place, but there are a shit-ton of other sources.

[tiktok.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2023:

That made me tear up. Then I stopped laughing.

Texas Gov.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2023:

Abbott is an asshole. But he's good at it, so there is that.

Boycotting Bud and their woke bullshit; here's Travis showing us what real men look like;

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2023:

Is this guy famous? I don't pay too much attention to country western music.

I was looking at a local news site today.

zeuser comments on Apr 9, 2023:

Bring out the pig's feet and chitlins! That'll settle it! I'm IN!! LOL

HOW TO RESPOND TO A REPUBLICAN I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

zeuser comments on Apr 8, 2023:

Good list!