A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage.

zeuser comments on Aug 17, 2022:

You got me! LOL

Stay away riff-raff! I'm assuming the important people he is referring to are co-conspirators.

zeuser comments on Aug 15, 2022:

I can almost hear it. "Hey, Jared, what's that smell?"

Another the laws of unintended consequences

zeuser comments on Aug 14, 2022:

Oh man, photon torpedoes ain't cheap either.

Hope you're enjoying your Sunday!

zeuser comments on Aug 14, 2022:

I feel a kinship with shagnosticism. ;)

FAUX News is on that story I’m sure

zeuser comments on Aug 14, 2022:

Good point. You have to put things into perspective.

Trump criminal galore

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2022:

Nice!

Trojans are a terrible name for a brand of condoms.

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2022:

If the soldiers are released, yer doing it wrong.

Are there any straws left to grasp at?

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2022:

It's obviously Obama. 🤣

Don't tell me that the spare tyre is right at the bottom of the pile - that's gotta be frustrating.

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2022:

Poor guy looks, um...tired.

Tommy Campbell [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2022:

The guy who dubbed in Don Jr sounds more lucid than DJTJ does, which is a pretty low bar, but still.

Trump speech at conservative conference dubbed ‘most frightening’ of his career so far

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2022:

This one was a dandy. He advocated building tent cities and relocating the homeless into them. Think about that for a minute. A camp, concentrating the homeless (to start out), a concentration camp if you will.

Gunman threatens OH FBI office, lockdown underway; suspect dead after standoff

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

Yeah. You're right. This is a mistake.

According to ancient Japanese lore, a person’s aura takes a particular colour right before they ...

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

Gotta hand it to you. That's a good one.

[youtu.be] Merrick Garland speaks

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

OK, let's hear those wheels of justice grinding slowly and exceedingly fine. 😉

DOJ Ordered by Judge to End the Silence on Mar-a-Lago Raid

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

My money is on Trump blabbing. That's just what he does, and it puts all the lies up front and the DOJ in a defensive posture as they are made to respond.

Maybe we should coin the term "Trumping yourself"

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

One more toe blown completely off of his foot. What a sap.

Goodnight!!!! Sleep well!

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

Nice set, MG!

Lock him up, this orange turd is guilty, the only question he answered properly was when they asked ...

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

Who the fuck can continue to not only support, but worship this walking fecal-retentive sphincter?

Does anyone have any doubt that Trump is an overt/grandiose malignant narcissist?

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2022:

Yeah, you're right. I can only withhold my own attention. All y'all need to do that too.

Confession time.

zeuser comments on Aug 10, 2022:

That is plausible.

What can I say, it's true lol

zeuser comments on Aug 9, 2022:

You're right. Nobody told me. ;)

Plant tags (I need these).

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

Categories are important. Most of my yard is "What the fuck?", but it's green...

I literally cannot stop smiling...

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

Defund the FBI? Really? I just..I dunno..This is a bad time in our history.

I don't think Skynet is going to be self-aware anytime soon

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

I would take that obit for myself, not a prob.

Well.

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

These execrable jerkwads are insulting each other, for doing the same things they accuse the other of doing. and they are both right. I just can't...

Some people just hear what they want to hear.

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

Honest mistake. ;)

Can you guess which one?

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

Nope. Can't tell the difference.

Live Updates: F.

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

Well, I guess a federal judge has concluded that there is probable cause of criminal activity. WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Three soldiers get ambushed on patrol and get taken prisoner.

zeuser comments on Aug 8, 2022:

Natural selection in action.

Travis McMichael, the man who killed Ahmaud Arbery, is scared someone will killed him in prison, ...

zeuser comments on Aug 7, 2022:

Gee, that's too bad. Isn't it? I mean really, it's too bad. I feel for the guy. I'm just fuckin' with y'all. Send his ass to the Georgia State Pen. My money is on day 16, while he's taking a dump.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene: 'No One Can Convince Me' Jan. 6 Rioters Weren't Antifa | HuffPost

zeuser comments on Aug 7, 2022:

She gives a bad name to home schooling, incest, meth, naked bigotry, and religion.

Best modern bible interpretation EVER. 🤣 [tiktok.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 7, 2022:

This kid is awesome!

Lions Not Sheep clothing company has removed "Made in China" tags, FTC says - Georgianewstime.com

zeuser comments on Aug 6, 2022:

I can understand being a dumbass. That registers for me. But the off the charts cheating hypocrisy, that's just so *odious*.

So simply stated.

zeuser comments on Aug 5, 2022:

It doesn't happen very often, it doesn't happen often enough -that's for sure, but every so often, every once in a while, a hero appears.

Another 5 years in the can probably, how disappointing! :-D

zeuser comments on Aug 5, 2022:

He's probably the kind of guy who never stopped to ask for directions when he was lost.

“People who know their worth can live austerely: it’s the people nagged by the gnawing ...

zeuser comments on Aug 5, 2022:

That's only a part of it. I know many good people who are well aware of their personal worth who strive for material success driven by other things. Still, the quote captures one of the many reasons people do it.

Yay Kansas, this time you made the right choice! [apnews.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 3, 2022:

Shocked the hell out of me, and a lot of repubs on the ballot this year have brown stains on their undies.

Enjoy [fb.watch] [twitter.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 3, 2022:

I remember this side by side. Jesus Marie, what douche canoe.

Startin my 5 day mini vacation!!!

zeuser comments on Aug 3, 2022:

Have a great vacation, MG!

I always said there wasn't a lot of difference between a golf course and a cemetery but this might ...

zeuser comments on Aug 2, 2022:

He only needs one body to call it a cemetery, so Melania probably just gets a pine box in Potter's field.

Wanna buy some drugs?

zeuser comments on Aug 1, 2022:

*writing this down*

Living proof, you can get a golf ball through a garden hose!!!!

zeuser comments on Aug 1, 2022:

Yikes!

This right here. [insider.com]

zeuser comments on Aug 1, 2022:

Phosphorus is an element, you can't manufacture it. Identified supplies of phosphorus are running low. Phosphorus is a key ingredient in fertilizer. The use of phosphates in fertilizer is and has been incredibly wasteful - one pound out of ten actually fertilizes the crops, the rest just washes away. Tom Malthus is chuckling in his grave, saying "I told you so" over and over.

But at least he takes care of his family...

zeuser comments on Aug 1, 2022:

I understand he gets tax breaks because of this.

My head is exploding.

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2022:

A talking shit stain. Good lord what an asshole. A traitor, a liar, a fuckwit, a criminal, a collaborator with despots and butchers, and he’s ugly too.

“In a fascist shift, reporters begin to face more and more harassment, and they have to be more ...

zeuser comments on Jul 31, 2022:

"When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent." - Isaac Asimov

What happens when they dumb them down too much....

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2022:

This is where that religion-based home-schooling works against you.

Please don't lecture, as I work in medical, but THIS is funny!

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2022:

Very clever!

IS TWEETY A FLIGHT RISK?

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2022:

For him, minor surgery.

This would make a hell of an engagement ring! MINERS JUST DISCOVERED THE LARGEST PINK DIAMOND IN ...

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2022:

Diamonds are one of the earliest and yet enduring examples of the power of monopoly control of a market to artifically inflate the price of a commodity.

Louie Gohmert goes ballistic at House Democrat who fact-checked GOP talking points [alternet.

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2022:

Louie can put on a spit flecked show when he wants. What a maroon.

Oh well, hope you all had a good day, I'm exhausted!

zeuser comments on Jul 29, 2022:

Nice!

One way to do it

zeuser comments on Jul 27, 2022:

I never believed that shit. It takes a lot to convince a Leo. ;)

Islam allows a man to have four wives. Why does Islam not allow a woman to have four husbands?

zeuser comments on Jul 27, 2022:

My guess is that it is an overtly sexist dogma intended to, among other things, keep women in an inferior subservient role. But I'm willing to listen to someone explain it to me in non-dogmatic terms.

A good piece on Marketplace on Morning Edition today on NPR Radio.

zeuser comments on Jul 27, 2022:

We'll always need proofreaders.

In the event, you get the overwhelming notion to replace your cellphone with a less electronic ...

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2022:

Measuring time (over time) precisely is a key element in a lot of science and research. BUT that is a beautiful artifact that I would *bleeep* to have.

Taking his first byte

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2022:

You gotta know your logos to get this.

In case you weren't sure of it.

zeuser comments on Jul 26, 2022:

Well THAT would be a refreshing change of pace!

Ugh, Monday finally over!!!

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2022:

Beautiful set, MG! BTW, I'd like to talk with the pug's owner. ;)

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2022:

With prices like that, a joke from the 60's, but still funny.

Maybe that explains it.

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2022:

It’s a difficult compulsion to harness for more people than you want to know about.

U had one job to do...

zeuser comments on Jul 25, 2022:

Looks like it was a side job.

Look what I got last night.

zeuser comments on Jul 24, 2022:

What a little cutie pie!

FrayedBear must be a member of the Russian Imperial Movement (RIM).

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Just put him in your block list. You won't miss anything worthwhile.

I really, really, really can't stop laughing.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Not a bad idea.

I'm not sure who needs to see this, or even why?

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2022:

The baked ones just crumble. And they *burn*!

Happy Saturday!!!! 😂😂😂❤😂❤😂❤😂

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Now I want to see a titty pony tail. 🤪

It's been a while since I posted a Florida man one.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Wow, that checks.

Just so you know, I did study the bible in my teen years.

zeuser comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Shit, I always look at these labels for the fiber content. But the god to devil death ratio is food for thought, yeah? LOL

And there you have it.

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

I love tall girls! This guy is a dumbass, but he's a multi-millionaire ballplayer, so ok I guess.

They could be orbiting uranus.

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

We need the micro electron microscope for that. And make sure he takes a shower first. ;)

Shark repellent?

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

Hey, Ariel, I can *see* the bubbles, OK? LOL

Steve Bannon is found guilty of contempt: [abc.net.au] Lock him up!

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

Let him testify from a jail cell. Works for me.

I don't think that's the answer she was looking for.

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

When indicated, yes.

Trumpy, trumpy supporters, and the trump insurrection.

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

These are on point, Glenn.

But her emails...

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

Don't print them out, he'll flush them down the toilet!

One creepy motherfucker who should read the bible.

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

It might be possible to do both if you can get your wife to yell "Jesus Christ" when she reaches orgasm. I'm a problem solver, follow me for more marriage tips.

New footage shows Josh Hawley running away from pro-Trump protesters hours after raising fist in ...

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

Har har.

New footage shows Josh Hawley running away from pro-Trump protesters hours after raising fist in ...

zeuser comments on Jul 22, 2022:

The term I have in mind rhymes with "diddle itch". Scared, senator fister?

Do people have a preferred station to watch the hearings?

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2022:

I watch MSNBC like you.

Only supposed to be 101 today, a fucking cold front

zeuser comments on Jul 21, 2022:

Hang in there buddy. This is great frozen margarita weather, FWIW.

Tennessee court dismisses a Jewish couples suit because, well, a Tennessee law from 2020 allows ...

zeuser comments on Jul 20, 2022:

That's just how they roll up in Chattanooga.

I have goals.

zeuser comments on Jul 20, 2022:

You have to follow your dreams MC.

Are you single by choice?

zeuser comments on Jul 19, 2022:

I'm with you, Lit. I'm done with marriage too. 😉

A big shout out, Make it so.

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2022:

I would go for that.

Happy Birthday

zeuser comments on Jul 18, 2022:

I accept that metric.

Happy Sunday!!!! Had a stressful weekend! Lol!!!!

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2022:

Wow, I need to cry more! Good bunch, MG.

GOP SORE LOSERS CLAIM ELECTION WAS RIGGED Donald Trump has refused to accept defeat and continues ...

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2022:

In true monkey see monkey do fashion, there will be a TON of republican losers yelling about election fraud. All you Trumperino voters, I blame you.

That settles it then...

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2022:

Luckily, that's what, 3 billion light years away?

How does belief in the existence of a genocidal maniac in the sky make you a good and moral person?

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2022:

It's not so much being good and moral, but rather about being able to feel superior to people who do not share your beliefs.

Hit the nail on the head

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2022:

This is why I deal exclusively with shipping tubes.

“Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw ...

zeuser comments on Jul 17, 2022:

I agree with the idea of letting something go. But some things are just too much to completely forgive.

Not much of a prince.

zeuser comments on Jul 16, 2022:

Someone is spoiling for poisoned apple butter on whole wheat. With a pickle.

I would marry him, too. 😆

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

I was always noted for my cheesy gifts, but this guy is a pro.

Maybe. Whadda ya think?

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

He probably had the distribution rights already sewed up. He's tricky like that.

Trump Using Death of Ex-Wife Ivana To Fundraise [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

About as classy as dog shit on the bottom of your shoe. Absolutely shameless.

Yesterday I altered this shirt. How did I do?

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

Looks good, it's very becoming on you. :)

Capitol Rioter's Lawyer Whines That Committee Hearings Are 'Poisoning' Jury Pool [youtube.

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

Lawyers will try to pull some shit, won't they? LOL

Just to be clear...

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

You know, you're right.

“In the end… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to ...

zeuser comments on Jul 15, 2022:

Ouch. Too true.