I never realized...

zeuser comments on Jan 30, 2023:

I just see the legs. Must be a semi.

5 Bizarre Moments from Trump’s Campaign Kickoff; From Claiming the Wall Was ‘3 Weeks’ Away, To...

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2023:

A walking invitation for his family to have him declared incompetent by reason of insanity and institutionalized. They won't do it, but they should.

Is he coming or not?

zeuser comments on Jan 29, 2023:

When the hands bleed and his eyes start to water....that's how you can tell. Or can you?

Happy Saturday!!!! 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 28, 2023:

This is worth it for the beaver basher reference alone. LOL

Another of Trumpty Dumpty's Mob of Insurrection has been put into the slammer for almost seven ...

zeuser comments on Jan 27, 2023:

My opinion: it should be longer.

Decent assumption...

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2023:

A giraffe walks into a bar. He says "Highballs are on me!"

The 5 second rule has been increased.

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2023:

There is no time limit in my house. The only test is...is there dirt on it?

An Amazon review

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2023:

Probably no compliments either.

The Trump legacy lives on, unfortunately

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2023:

I don't want facts. There it all is, in one phrase.

Don't see this turning out well...

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2023:

He should be in prison making license plates.

I will continue my posting of items from the FFRF newsletter.

zeuser comments on Jan 25, 2023:

05 I guess?

That did not go well, slink slowly into the shadows

zeuser comments on Jan 25, 2023:

It gets easier to deal with over time, little dude.

Can you imagine such a Santos circus under earlier GOP administrations?

zeuser comments on Jan 25, 2023:

I dunno, he'd fit right in with the Reagan administration.

Last one from Epicurus for a bit, so I thought I would end with a contentious one.

zeuser comments on Jan 25, 2023:

In the highly unlikely event that I ever have a wife again, I will keep this up my sleeve. ;)

Admit it... You've thought about it. Probably more than once.

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2023:

Wait, what? That was an option all along?

I can be really socially awkward at times

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2023:

A for effort.

This one is for Mr. Z @zeuser this one is really corny

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2023:

This guy needs to buy his shoes from a cob-bler. Heh.

“The ‘60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap, sex never as free, and the rock ‘n’ ...

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2023:

Everyone knows that the 60's actually happened in the 70's. 😏

High standards or prudish?

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2023:

Don't worry, hon. It gets easier.

Sign of the times...

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2023:

She probably knows about Anthony's nest egg.

[tiktok.com] I am dead inside

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2023:

You can't argue with blind faith.

This joke is funnier if you partake in the first one

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2023:

No danger of any confusion here. I also never confuse joke with fact. 😉

How many dads reading this get it? 😆

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2023:

Poor guy is getting crushed by expectations. I've been there. 😜

Trump drops lawsuit against New York Attorney General Letitia James

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2023:

Look at the little bitch run away when someone fronts him! LOL

Some are kind of tasteless but then so is the orange stain.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2023:

Yeah, I'd vote for the leakage. And David Hogg deserves a lot of credit for his balls in the face of ignorant gunsuckers.

Trumpty Dumpty can't even remember the women that he has shagged: [abc.net.au]

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2023:

He can't remember which finger to use to scratch his arsehole.

Trump needs to go away and take all his ilk with him

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2023:

I'm laughing, but am also in a slow boil.

Breakfast is what you make it.

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2023:

The fourth bowl will be cereal. Or maybe pizza. Heh.

He found a perfect barber

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2023:

Perfect for Zoom meetings.

Goodnight, hope you sleep well! 😴

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2023:

Chloroform and pegging? Time to reconsider your choices, am I right? LOL Good set, MG.

I'm tired of hunting and don't want to just run retreads

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2023:

Good luck with it.

It's a not so hot moment.

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2023:

I need a "pinches the bridge of my nose" reaction emoji.

Good morning! Hope you have a good day!

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2023:

Brilliant set!

Brilliant Trolling

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2023:

Gotcha, you dimwitted MAGA assbags. LOL

It's now the party of the Keystone Cops.....

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2023:

Propaganda creates what is possibly the stupidest reason for righties to get pissed off. Good set, LOA

What the fking hell are they talking about?

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2023:

He's tricky like that. LOL

Who the hell leaked this very confidential information?!

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2023:

Who squealed?

What a hangover, I'm finally alive! Lol!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2023:

No man-sound CD without farting noises is worth the price, IMHO. LOL

“If a believer demands that I, as a nonbeliever, observe his taboos in the public domain, he is ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2023:

Not today, believer! 😜

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip abroad, so he thought he'd buy his wife ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2023:

The first version of this old chestnut I heard (probably in the 70's) involved a "karate monkey". Humor can neither be created nor destroyed, merely changed in form. 🤪

Let me tell you the truth here....

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2023:

As long as I still got my pants, the situation is salvageable.

Now they can feel their bass and I don't have to.

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2023:

Good for shitty music, I understand.

Something I remember everytime I visit there

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2023:

It could maybe be philly guys seeing what other people call a cheese steak.

You have heard the saying, right?

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2023:

Oh man, that poor animal!

People are leaving the country because of the far right-wing tearing it apart but sometimes the ...

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2023:

I am kicking this idea around. I'll be touring different potential areas for relocation this year. I really don't want to do it, but it seems like a prudent thing to have up my sleeve, especially at this stage of my life.

Good morning hope you have a good laugh!

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2023:

Sarchotic...*snort*

Did somebody plant classified documents in Joe Biden's office as a way of setting him up?

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2023:

I don't think this is a plant, but you never know. Let's see if Joe's son-in-law gets 2 billion from MBS, now THAT would be suspicious. RME

When Brits get carried away with banter - ooooh, they can be so cruel! 😆 A collection of 'man ...

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2023:

You guys do humor on a completely different wavelength, that's for sure. LOL

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2023:

Very funny bunch.

PUN FUN Dad, are we pyromaniacs?

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2023:

I married a moonshiner's daughter, and now she makes me liquor.

Almost two years to the day of the January 6th coup attempt in the USA and a few days after a ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2023:

The question makes an unnecessary distinction between the most rabid repubs and cults. They are essentially the same thing.

White House: DOJ reviewing potentially classified documents found at Biden Center from time as VP

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2023:

I dunno, the contrast between how Uncle Joe reacts to how the former guy is incessantly tantrumming should be a good thing for our side of the spectrum. But listen, if it was legal for the former guy, why wouldn't it be legal for Uncle Joe? All kinds of nonsense to ensue, I am sure.

Living vicariously through AOC right now 🤣🤣🤣 Hilarious. 😜

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2023:

All right! Enjoy it, Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, while it lasts! We all see you!!

Witch one is the first to get an indictment?

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2023:

I wondered what Rollie was up to these days. As for who gets to indict first, my money is on Fani.

He started alright there but....

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2023:

Being a small landlord sucks. I did that once a long time ago, never again.

A little help please...

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2023:

I asked the salesman, but I got a bad reception.

In the beginning there was nothing.

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2023:

And who was there to look, anyways?

House speaker drama: Democrat reads 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fk' book on floor

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

I love Katie!

"Trump sued for wrongful death on second anniversary of January 6 riot": [bbc.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

Sued, eh? He should be in the hoosegow right now!

I want to get off my chest, it seems like a disproportionate amount of time I run into arguments ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

Statements like "When my dad died, suddenly there was a rainbow and a cardinal jumped on my windowsill. It was him, and now he's with mom and jesus" also really turn my crank.

Some of us were a little embarrassed

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

Where's that "Hump Slow" sign when you need it?

The Prize Prat has become Speaker of the US House of Representatives at the fifteenth attempt.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

They are gonna try to bounce his ass over and over again. This was just chapter 1.

Last night wore me out, looks like it could be over soon.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

Good stuff, but somehow they depressed me.

Oh for 14 the drama continues.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2023:

If only there really was a pill like that...*sigh*

If they dislike Kevin so much, why don't they really kill him and vote to confirm Jeffries, he only ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2023:

That will never happen. If someone tries it, we will all see what a bad idea it was to remove the metal detectors from the house chambers doors.

Is the joke factory that is the US House of Representatives going to again perform its antics this ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2023:

That sloshing sound you hear is your tax dollars slowly being flushed away paying for this debacle.

Sure they're Dolly Parton fans

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2023:

Heading to a spit roast cookout, no doubt. 😏 Someone should clue in poor Dolly.

Kevin is having to negotiate just to get an adjournment at 8 PM, I mean these guys have fund raisers...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2023:

When they get to the part where they refuse to raise the debt limit and the whole world economy starts to crumble, that's when we see the new world order they all seem so worried about.

My daughter asked me who my favorite vampire was.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Perfect dad joke. Plus 10.

oh for ten, going for the all time record, already the longest since 1855.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2023:

A very galling but valuable set, Glenn. But, I believe Santos was indeed the banjo player. *offstage whisper* What? Ok, I guess that was Carlos Santana. And it wasn't the banjo. And it had absolutely nothing to do with republicans. Sorry.

Day three of watching Kevin twist in the wind is off to a start.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2023:

Famous Owens...*snort*

I'd say burn in hell, if i believed in hell.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2023:

Say it anyway. Instead of Pascal's wager, it's Palpatine's wager.

Scary thought…

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2023:

Oh fuck no.

Nobody Knows

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2023:

A bad bunch. Patrician assholes. Rich bitches.

"utiny inside the Republican Party": [abc.net.au]

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2023:

Red America votes for these dildos. That's what we all get stuck with, a congress controlled by dildos. What. A. Fucking. Hot. Mess.

I can't sleep, my mom is having a procedure today, hopefully it goes well!

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2023:

Roast beef? I never heard that one, MG!

"So be aware that the priests, by means of terrorizing threats, will seek to cause you to fall away ...

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2023:

Doesn't matter what century, it's the same old toe jam decade after decade.

Newly Weds There was these newly weds that were both virgins and nervous about the wedding night.

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2023:

I have a version where the wife says the malapropisms to a doctor, then the punch line is "Toelio, polio..Kneesles, measles. All I know is that I haven't demonstrated for two months and I think I'm stagnant."

Great way to start off the new year

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2023:

You hit the ground running, Glenn, nice set. I like how whenever there is something that suggests the rich pay more taxes they all scream "class warfare". Of course it is, it's just that the poor side decided to take a shot or two, finally.

I'd be really freaking quiet about it....

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Lock the doors, keep your pants close by.

Every plate tells a story, well some do.

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Same guy likes pina coladas at Trader Vick's.

Happy Hangover Day 🙃 🙂 😌

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Sure LOOKS like Greg Abbott.

Socially inept me: I might say 'Happy New Year' to strangers...

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

People are strange when you're a stranger. Ask Jim Morrison.

Listen to the master

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

I'd stay away from that Jello pudding too if I were you.

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better...

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

I consider my vices to be partners. We face this world together. LOL

Watch out for klingons when you go to the restroom

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

Don't klingons sharpen their teeth? The guy on the other side of the wall is going to get a pointed surprise too!

Happy New Year!!!! 🥳🥂🎉🍾🎊🍻🍺🤗

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

I'm gettin' up there in years, and nobody is offering ME any tootski. WTF?

I pretty sure no one here would be THAT dishonest.

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2023:

I think they get one every time they catch a pass, score a touchdown, or tackle the ball carrier. But they play in a league for 8 year olds and under.

'bout sums it up!

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Hey, it's a bigger deal than you think.

Been there, got that Tshirt.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Yeah, that's my date too.

I finally found it....

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Said the leprechaun, "Sure and ye take a toke er two."

Oh no :( Emperor Palpatine has died .............

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

The vatican altar boys are "boycotting" his funeral

"Men who experience false visions, but who are unable to understand how they are produced, are ...

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

I guess it took a while before they connected the mushrooms they just ate with the visions. Honest mistake. LOL

Suddenly an opportunity opened up.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Here's a shot of the actual pizza guy.

Virginia "Ginni" Thomas, wife of US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has just admitted making ...

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

It was a left handed apology at the very best. From the article: In her testimony, she told the committee that, "I worried that there was fraud and irregularities that distorted the election but it wasn't uncovered in a timely manner, so we have President Biden." So the only problem was they didn't uncover the "irregularities" quickly enough? She should be in jail awaiting trial right now.

ROMANIAN AUTHORITIES ARE IN THE LIMELIGHT FOR DETAINING FOUR PEOPLE ON SUSPICION OF HUMAN ...

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Couldn't happen to a nicer assbag. Sort of looks like Lex Luthor, but not NEARLY as smart. Hey, want some pizza you moron? *honk honk*

Miss Pat is still working on me 30+ years later.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

You can't CHANGE the people you are with, but you can change the PEOPLE you are with.

Trumpty Dumpty's reputation as a businessman has just been totally trashed by the IRS: [abc.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Anyone who didn't have their brains up their ass knew this a long time ago, and the ones who still have their brains up their ass won't believe anything derogatory. There are many who might be looking for a way to break free, this is a good excuse on top of everything else.

I almost lost my lunch on one, nearly died laughing on one, and hoped the last one will at least get...

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2022:

Those are fantastic memes - brutal because they have to be with the current crop of pathological liars, cultists, sycophants, and snow noses.

Where can I get this?

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2022:

Um, you need any investors?