zeuser's Profile

An entertaining thought experiment.

HippieChick58 comments on Apr 2, 2022:

That is the hottest things I've thought of today, OMG!

zeuser replies on Apr 2, 2022:

I know, right? 🤣🤣

A short fable for modern times, as told to me by a buddy.

Budgie comments on Apr 2, 2022:

That was my first thought. As a child I always thought there was a wolf under my bed and could never sleep on my side as I had to be ready for it. I convinced my parents to take the legs off my bed and have slept like a log since. I don't have the problem of there being a wolf under my bed ...

zeuser replies on Apr 2, 2022:

I’m glad y’all figured that one out!

We don't talk about Lindsey, no no...

HankSherman comments on Apr 2, 2022:

Lol, if it walks like a cunt, talks like a cunt, acts like a cunt.....it has to be him.

zeuser replies on Apr 2, 2022:

The irrepressible reprehensible Lady G. LOL

Wrapping up the week.

waitingforgodo comments on Apr 2, 2022:

MIAOWS THAT Kat Flapper reporting: An oeuvre of artistry etched so brazenly that brush becomes bloodied barbizon braggadocio. This call of the wild does more than just scratch the surface of the nexus that pain: suffering :: joy: apenis. The fluidity of the stroke play puts kudos and ...

zeuser replies on Apr 2, 2022:

Well spoken feline, there's a lot packed into those meows. LOL

Wrapping up the week.

glennlab comments on Apr 1, 2022:

really loved the work/drugs one.

zeuser replies on Apr 1, 2022:

Yeah, that one spoke to me as well.

I just can't get away from picking on Rafael. Nobody has complained yet.

joeandbarb comments on Mar 31, 2022:

Ted Cruze is the top of the slime heap

zeuser replies on Mar 31, 2022:

That he is.

Joe Manchin may be smaller and more corrupt than we even realized "The New York Times has done a...

KKGator comments on Mar 29, 2022:

He's always been extraordinarily corrupt. He's done little for the people of West Virginia. Especially given how much he's enriched himself. It never ceases to amaze and anger me how people can continue to vote for those who are so damned corrupt.

zeuser replies on Mar 29, 2022:

He spreads his cash around and lies a lot to his voters. That's pretty much the formula for most politicians, with very very few exceptions.

I thought it was funny, ok?

bobwjr comments on Mar 28, 2022:

Where do you start lol

zeuser replies on Mar 28, 2022:

Wherever you want, but you never finish.

Oooo, Moana.

Julie808 comments on Mar 28, 2022:

Aw, but no more mystery... We know what she's thinking in this view!

zeuser replies on Mar 28, 2022:

That's why you pose first, drink later.

I guarantee this has crossed his mind

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2022:

You know, Putin's war is quite expensive, and it would have been a lot cheaper for him if Trump had actually managed to steal the White House this last time. From Pooty's perspective, it made sense to wait and see if Trump won, then he could have just waltzed in unopposed - maybe some grumbling and...

zeuser replies on Mar 27, 2022:

@Charlene Well, they are getting hammered and millions of them had to get out. They will never surrender, but they will suffer greatly for nothing but one asshole's dream of empire.

I guarantee this has crossed his mind

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2022:

You know, Putin's war is quite expensive, and it would have been a lot cheaper for him if Trump had actually managed to steal the White House this last time. From Pooty's perspective, it made sense to wait and see if Trump won, then he could have just waltzed in unopposed - maybe some grumbling and...

zeuser replies on Mar 27, 2022:

@joeandbarb Yeah, that's how I read it. That would have been one scary situation, much worse than where we find ourselves right now.

A certain senator has been providing a lot of comic relief recently, if you get past the gag reflex.

dalefvictor comments on Mar 26, 2022:

I do not know how this asswipe gets elected.

zeuser replies on Mar 26, 2022:

They love him in Waco.

What is your response?

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2022:

Unfortunately, there is an entire spectrum of nutty bullshit under that christian umbrella.

zeuser replies on Mar 26, 2022:

@joeandbarb It's been happening for a looooong time, too.

Happy Friday, y'all!

Julie808 comments on Mar 26, 2022:

Did my taxes sober yesterday, up until I see how much I owe, then took a break from it, to rest my brain. Hmmm... Maybe I should go over them with a glass of wine and see if I missed some deductions!

zeuser replies on Mar 26, 2022:

Can't hurt.

Happy Friday, y'all!

glennlab comments on Mar 25, 2022:

good ones.

zeuser replies on Mar 25, 2022:

Thanks!

Trump's Faith Healer's Pray For Trump (The guy walking to and fro behind her is absolute ...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2022:

What in the actual fuck?

zeuser replies on Mar 25, 2022:

@anglophone I try to stay away from the crazy ones. They tend to find me, but I've gotten better at recognizing them. This young woman here should be in chew-proof restraints.

Or dynamiting fish in a barrel.......

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 23, 2022:

Hey, she paid 35$ for that shirt, now she has to wear it for 10 years.

zeuser replies on Mar 23, 2022:

I'm almost sure there is some wackadoo conspiracy theory that says it's actually still 2011. The calendar is a liberal lie, and they have cancelled something, something something. If not, share my response and there will be pretty soon.

Make checks payable to me.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 22, 2022:

The return to selling indulgences.

zeuser replies on Mar 23, 2022:

Hey, it was very lucrative. Zero production costs, no dissatisfied customers.

Make checks payable to me.

Oldman51 comments on Mar 22, 2022:

second one at twice the price but free shipping.

zeuser replies on Mar 22, 2022:

You've got a flair for this kind of marketing, OM.

You can't be too careful at Starbucks.

Pralina1 comments on Mar 21, 2022:

Small dick men . That’s all I see here . Eww🤢

zeuser replies on Mar 21, 2022:

This idiot should lay off the vanilla latte. That leads to a big belly, which is a bad thing to combine with a tiny dick.

[vm.tiktok.com] Oh Karen . Satan loves u afterall 🙌🦇 Go Karen go

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2022:

There's a perfect job for everyone somewhere.

zeuser replies on Mar 20, 2022:

@Pralina1 Everybody wins! Sort of....

See the difference?

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2022:

That's funny. You think he and Hillary are living together. LOL

zeuser replies on Mar 18, 2022:

@St-Sinner They meet for board meetings of the Clinton Foundation.

Can someone help her? I don't know where to begin.

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2022:

I promise to look you in the eyes. Now just to be clear, there will be other forms of contact.

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2022:

@St-Sinner Ultimately, that may not be your decision, Saint.

Can someone help her? I don't know where to begin.

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2022:

I promise to look you in the eyes. Now just to be clear, there will be other forms of contact.

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2022:

@St-Sinner I will go as low as is necessary to feel her pain.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing at the sight of this 🤣🤣🤣

TimeOutForMe comments on Mar 16, 2022:

Window shopping at the service station 😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2022:

Pump shopping.

For fuck's sake?

zeuser comments on Mar 15, 2022:

I just go with Oh FFS, and let everyone interpret it how they want. It not only communicates my meaning quite clearly, but no one quibbles about proper punctuation.

zeuser replies on Mar 16, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend No matter what, there's always one guy....😏

I tried drinking in the mold

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 15, 2022:

Too much Jerry Lewis........

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2022:

Now I can un see that.

The wine always has a few words to say for me.

NHjulie comments on Mar 15, 2022:

The Freebird one reminds me of one time I saw Arlo Guthrie in concert at a rural bar. One drunk kept yelling out Alice's Restaurant THE WHOLE TIME! So annoying.

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2022:

I always called out for "White Rabbit" when I was loaded and being obnoxious.

The wine always has a few words to say for me.

glennlab comments on Mar 15, 2022:

good set, liked the freebird one

zeuser replies on Mar 15, 2022:

Me too.

Happy pi day, y’all.

glennlab comments on Mar 14, 2022:

And it went on forever.

zeuser replies on Mar 14, 2022:

Rational? No.

and I believe you know who you are

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2022:

Are you saying I'm a ... looser? LOLOLOL

zeuser replies on Mar 14, 2022:

@glennlab I wish I knew how to spell flappulance. LOL

See if you can spot the symbolism.

Pralina1 comments on Mar 14, 2022:

U know I am stupid and I did not got either 🙄🙁 I am not even tired. Just not brains . After a awhile so to not ruin for others , I want the explanation pls Z !!!!

zeuser replies on Mar 14, 2022:

The characters in the first cartoon are animated symbols. Their dialog consists of words and other symbols. The second cartoon is just a representation of modern day parties, where everyone gathers around the food, as symbolized by the prehistoric carcass. ;)

A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2022:

Very topical. Of course, he is fund raising off of this incident.

zeuser replies on Mar 12, 2022:

@joeandbarb You're not wrong!

Never had a day THAT bad. Some Friday funnies.

tinkercreek comments on Mar 11, 2022:

Lol, foul language!

zeuser replies on Mar 12, 2022:

Yeah, I liked that one too.

Never had a day THAT bad. Some Friday funnies.

glennlab comments on Mar 11, 2022:

I have never intentionally told someone to duck off!

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2022:

Thank the asshole who came up with autocorrect.

With that group money matters

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2022:

Looks like I should either lose weight or get a boat.

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2022:

@bobwjr When you are talking boats, size matters. LOL

He didn't grow a spine until it could line his pockets

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2022:

Tell that to your opus dei buddies, you disgusting MF.

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2022:

@Theresa_N When your source is fictional, you interpret how you want without fear of counterproof or logical contradiction. In the case of opus dei, the human need for masochism finds a vehicle for expressions. For republicans in general, the idea of the commandments finds a vehicle for the the human need to dominate those inferior and exert supposed superiority, again with no regard for counterarguments or logic.

With that group money matters

joeandbarb comments on Mar 11, 2022:

And the Men are foolish enough to think that the women on board find them(not their wallets) attractive. Both the women and men are fooling themselves and taking advantage of each other.

zeuser replies on Mar 11, 2022:

Yeah, but so what? 😜

Piety requires us to honor truth above our friends. - Aristotle

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2022:

I looked up a couple of definitions of piety. I am not sure Aristotle had these same definitions in mind when he said this, and who knows what the translator did to the original meaning. But the consensus definition is something like this: a belief or point of view that is accepted with unthinking ...

zeuser replies on Mar 10, 2022:

@Fernapple Yeah, I can see where it would, and that is a reasonable definition.

These people! 🙄😂🙄😂🤣🙄😂😂🙄🙄

Oldman51 comments on Mar 9, 2022:

I don't think it is as ,uch Russia as it is Opeckers seeing this as a opportunity to jack up the price once again.

zeuser replies on Mar 9, 2022:

@NHjulie There are 9.000 leases currently open that are not being used. The oil companies aren't even trying to expand either exploration or production, and have actually scaled that down. They are using the money from the higher prices to buy back their own stock and increase shareholder dividends, and they are making more money than they ever have. I hate those assholes. The planet is alternately burning and drowning while the oil pigs hoard all that cash offshore somewhere, like a composite corporate Smaug.

Biting social commentary and a groaner.

AnonySchmoose comments on Mar 8, 2022:

🤣 #1 with Moses foreshadowed the lying penchant of religion.

zeuser replies on Mar 9, 2022:

Yeah, it sure does.

Terrible Tyrant vs Repulsive Repugs Putin's Pesty Parked Promenade vs Trumpette's Tantrum of ...

glennlab comments on Mar 7, 2022:

Does anyone even know what the ones on the bottom are protesting?

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2022:

Since the mandates they were originally talking about have been largely lifted, they have fallen back on their primary reason for existence - trolling the libs. And it pretty much isn't working.

Bad investments.....

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2022:

Every minute.

zeuser replies on Mar 7, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I guess I should re-phrase to "What is every minute?"

Man, I feel like a murderer.

HankSherman comments on Mar 6, 2022:

Is this a pull on her damage to her gender???? Or her music, or a show of dislike for her in general????

zeuser replies on Mar 6, 2022:

@MaryChristmas Humor is subjective, you have to take risks for comedy. Don't let it throw you.

I suggest a nice merlot.

jeshuey comments on Mar 4, 2022:

Revenge? I'd go with a hearty Syrah.

zeuser replies on Mar 4, 2022:

That could work. Better with Salems. LOL

He must have really screwed it up this time.

Canndue comments on Mar 4, 2022:

Careful when rolling over with the morning wood..

zeuser replies on Mar 4, 2022:

MOOOOOO JESUS!

The girl's got a big problem.

JackPedigo comments on Mar 2, 2022:

They are known as 'intergluteal cleft' and 'cleavage fracture.' These have become all the rage these days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OCH33UnKpY

zeuser replies on Mar 3, 2022:

I'm in!

A nice gesture from one murdering thug to a family of like minded asswipes.

Tejas comments on Mar 2, 2022:

Don't forget biden's junkie son

zeuser replies on Mar 2, 2022:

Really? That’s one.

Pizza tonight?

EyesThatSmile comments on Mar 1, 2022:

Does it come with the blood of Christ marinara sauce?

zeuser replies on Mar 2, 2022:

Maybe. Don't ask where they get the pepperoni.

There's always something there to remind me....

JackPedigo comments on Mar 1, 2022:

They should just be grateful they weren't in Vietnam. *"Viet Cong girls who were able to put razor blades into their vaginas to castrate or even kill clients (Gulzow & Mitchell 1980). The latter rumor is without doubt a reflection of the ability of some trained girls to use their vaginas to smoke ...

zeuser replies on Mar 1, 2022:

Yikes! I think the guy in the foreign legion cartoon is just talking about a case of the clap. You know, love is infectious? Cuz you....really, you left me sore, you really left me sore now baby, you messed me up for sure and I don't mean maybe cuz you reeeeally left me sore. Thanks to Todd Rundgren.

Just like the author...

TheDoubter comments on Feb 28, 2022:

i'll remember barr as a trump lackey

zeuser replies on Feb 28, 2022:

He was also a fluffer for W first.

"View the past as your enemy, and it will be an albatross.

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2022:

A lot of people, including me, were adamantly against that nightmare too. When you have the wrong people calling the shots, you get this kind of insanity.

zeuser replies on Feb 28, 2022:

@WilliamCharles I know, right?

Just like the author...

Redheadedgammy comments on Feb 28, 2022:

These people make me sick at how they profit off of their horrible mismanagement of our Government with their “tell all” books after they finish fucking everything up! 😡

zeuser replies on Feb 28, 2022:

Everyone is a hero in their own book. Barr was a disgusting unethical enabler. He should serve time for his many illegal acts while AG.

Fuel and logistics problems frustrate Russian advance Though Russia’s President Vladimir Putin ...

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2022:

In chess, we call this a blunder.

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2022:

@Garban Ok, I can see that.

This month, 12,000 U.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2022:

This whole situation is a chilling demonstration of the evil power of propaganda.

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2022:

@LucyLoohoo It's always in the wrong hands.

Plus a coupon for frames..

MerlinZap comments on Feb 26, 2022:

Jesus was only a time traveler?

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2022:

One fantasy is as true as the other.

Lets see where the agnostic/atheist community stands.

BD66 comments on Feb 26, 2022:

For everyone who doesn't understand sarcasm, Trump has issued a new statement on the Ukraine invasion: “The Russian attack on Ukraine is appalling. It’s an outrage, and an atrocity that should never have been allowed to occur,” he said Saturday night at CPAC. “We are praying for the proud...

zeuser replies on Feb 27, 2022:

@BD66 I'd answer you, but according to you, I have less than half a brain. Enjoy the weather on your planet. (Was that sarcasm?)

Lets see where the agnostic/atheist community stands.

BD66 comments on Feb 26, 2022:

For everyone who doesn't understand sarcasm, Trump has issued a new statement on the Ukraine invasion: “The Russian attack on Ukraine is appalling. It’s an outrage, and an atrocity that should never have been allowed to occur,” he said Saturday night at CPAC. “We are praying for the proud...

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2022:

So they are all flip flopping because nobody understood they were being sarcastic and now they are clarifying what they really mean? Or the new positions they are now taking are actually sarcastic because they don't really mean them? Not sure I get your point.

Plus a coupon for frames..

St-Sinner comments on Feb 26, 2022:

you are giving dumbo Jebus too much credit, was he that smart?

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2022:

Makes more objective sense than calling anything a miracle.

It was so real....

St-Sinner comments on Feb 26, 2022:

Good but a little bland for me, must include hot sex

zeuser replies on Feb 26, 2022:

In your dreams as well?

Few today will remember Bob and Ray [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2022:

They were on radio for decades. I'd encourage all to find the many examples of their work available on YouTube for a kinder, gentler, more cerebral quality of humor. They had a ton of recurring characters and had a large body of work which was principally done impromptu without any script live on ...

zeuser replies on Feb 25, 2022:

@fishline79 Yes, Ton Koch was the writer. The famous "43 man squamish" is what I recall. Ernie Kovacs, one of my absolute comedy heroes, was involved with Mad for a while during the same era. I never saw any collaboration between Kovacs and Bob and Ray. That would have been classic if it ever happened.

“Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity himself, than ...

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2022:

Yep. Similar to the title of the WC Fields movie, "You Can't Cheat an Honest Man". (They were casually sexist back in those days, but you get the idea.)

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2022:

@Marionville Yes, and Charlie McCarthy too. It is a tribute to Bergen's comedy genius that nobody really cared what a shitty ventriloquist he was - you could always, and I mean ALWAYS, see his lips moving. He was so funny, nobody cared! And Fields, well. in this movie he runs a circus and never pays his bills. Who does THAT remind you of? LOL

I identify as agnostic but I can’t imagine not celebrating Christmas.

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2022:

We celebrate the solstice, which pretty much coincides with xmas. We celebrate what, as the billboards say, is "the reason for the season". ;)

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2022:

@Garban Quite a few of the traditions come from Yule, one of the Germanic (I think) pagan solstice celebrations.

“Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity himself, than ...

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2022:

Yep. Similar to the title of the WC Fields movie, "You Can't Cheat an Honest Man". (They were casually sexist back in those days, but you get the idea.)

zeuser replies on Feb 23, 2022:

@Marionville Edgar Bergen is in the movie too. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032152/

What? Uh oh, time to worry.

JackPedigo comments on Feb 22, 2022:

Still much better than what we had before!!

zeuser replies on Feb 22, 2022:

Time makes fools of us all.

This would appear to be true.

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2022:

Pissin' proud! With morning wood, no viagra necessary. ;)

zeuser replies on Feb 22, 2022:

@MaryChristmas I am writin' this down. ;)

Silly Sunday stuff.

ThinkingFree comments on Feb 21, 2022:

These are great, Z, thanks !!

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2022:

De nada.

Stick with this post from Jim Wright.

OldGoat43 comments on Feb 21, 2022:

Didn't the Orange Pundit promise to offer a course on avoiding those pitfalls in his college?

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2022:

He claimed he did, but it was bait and switch horseshit.

Taste just like chicken.

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2022:

LOL!

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2022:

@MaryChristmas What if they really did taste like ribs? But no, I can't understand being on the other end of that transaction either.

Animal abuse Call the RSPCA

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2022:

See, here's the thing, they LIKE it! ;)

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2022:

@glennlab Both. The cyclists get a chance to return to nature, and the pelicans will do anything for a fish.

[vm.tiktok.com] Jesus 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2022:

With all the wine, I would have guessed bladder. LOL

zeuser replies on Feb 21, 2022:

@Pralina1 So you said farewell to the stone? Good deal! Yeah, water is great, keep drinking and stay healthy! I'll stick to wine, m'self. so the bladder will still be my culprit during the night.

Silly Sunday stuff.

Sticks48 comments on Feb 20, 2022:

At least you got asked for a date!

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2022:

It's really not like they *asked*.

Silly Sunday stuff.

Pralina1 comments on Feb 20, 2022:

Dead mouse 🙌🙌🙌🙌

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2022:

Always welcome. LOL

New tool for the archivist.

Garban comments on Feb 20, 2022:

The weapon of justice.🧀⚽️

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2022:

They should make a new verse for "If I Had a Hammer". If I had a plunger, I'd plunge in the morning....

New tool for the archivist.

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 20, 2022:

Fireplaces in every room, and he flushes it. He is some kind of special.

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2022:

Like short bus special class special.

Is he not already known as The Big Liar?

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2022:

Even though I know it's childish, I prefer more colorful sobriquets, like the Manchurian cantaloupe, the talking yam, or Mar-a-Lardo. But he is undoubtedly the biggest liar I've ever seen on the national stage.

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2022:

@August1 That is a good question.

He's off to see the lube-wizard.

glennlab comments on Feb 20, 2022:

stole stoke this, thanks

zeuser replies on Feb 20, 2022:

How do you think I got it? 😉

One of my favourites

Canndue comments on Feb 19, 2022:

Hello, fur club , I need an appointment…

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2022:

I'm not just a customer of fur club, I'm the Alpha!

Lots of breaking news lately.

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2022:

Nope. At worst, he'll serve his time, assuming he gets any, in home detention, or some other horseshit arrangement.

zeuser replies on Feb 19, 2022:

@Garban I never rule out naked bribery leading to finding "procedural errors" leading to declaring a mistrial, or appeals to courts he's packed with his loony bin antebellum judges which overturn any verdict. Or, as I have predicted before, he will simply run away to someplace they can't extradite him. It's also possible he dies between now and then.

Nothing definite but he could be!

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2022:

It's either him or the pizza guy.

zeuser replies on Feb 17, 2022:

@St-Sinner She probably had coupons.

You've heard of the freshman 15?

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2022:

Yeah, I just figured it out, it's about 15. *sigh*

zeuser replies on Feb 17, 2022:

@MaryChristmas Since I actually DID have a case of the Omicron, my conditioning is shot, and my lungpower has definitely taken a hit. Gonna be a tough road back for me. :(

Stands to reason. He really should have known better.

Garban comments on Feb 16, 2022:

Saved pontius pilate and the pharisees a lot of trouble.

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2022:

He.. uh ... recovered in like 3 days.

If I must format something, I use Open Office for just that reason.

HankSherman comments on Feb 16, 2022:

Lololol.....me pretending to know your point .

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2022:

@HankSherman Whoa! This changes everything!

If I must format something, I use Open Office for just that reason.

HankSherman comments on Feb 16, 2022:

Lololol.....me pretending to know your point .

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2022:

Wait...I'm supposed to have a point?

Nice of her to visit.

LucyLoohoo comments on Feb 15, 2022:

BUT--for Hillary's protection---how about one of those face masks...a la Hannibal L.?

zeuser replies on Feb 16, 2022:

Yeah, I could get behind that.

Oh, Peggy.