“I’m not afraid of death.

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2022:

This is from Play It Again Sam. Woody Allen: What are you doing Saturday night? Girl at Art museum: Committing suicide. Woody: How about Friday night?

Anticipation is making me wait! Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2022:

Yeah, I guess that would be the most prudent approach. LOL

It took me a while to work this one out, but not too sure I have the meaning quite pinned down.

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2022:

Hmm, it's a reflex to say "I'm with you" when someone is suffering, even if you yourself are not suffering. It's an effort to say "I'm with you" when someone is joyful, especially when you yourself are not joyful.

All hail King Corona AKA: Dumb shit

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2022:

And now, we got the DeSantis variant.

It's original, anyway.

zeuser comments on Jan 24, 2022:

Bad protocol, first you got to yellow, then to red alert. Then, shields up! LOL

🖐️🖐️🖐️🖐️🖐️ 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

Sometimes you have to fight assholery with assholery.

A little more dark humor

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

That’s hot.

Just read about some Qanoners?

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

The sooner the better. I hope they are using the "low splash" bleach so we can donate the clothing to Goodwill.

Oh yeah baby!

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

Cock is only one syllable. Cockroach is twice as long. Coincidence? I think not.

Not technically tRump but he gave Fox their acceptability (by some).

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

I'm ok with Tucker fulminating about this kind of nonsense. It is far less offensive than watching him go ATM with Trump on the air.

I'm sick and tired of troll imbeciles in this site who are such assholes to nit pick on ridiculous ...

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

Yeah, they piss me off too.

Which one of yall is this?

zeuser comments on Jan 23, 2022:

What the heeeeyyy...

it’ll be former NJ Gov. Chris Christie as the czar of Fitness and Wellness.

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Sadly, we are home already.

I hate winter!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

We only got 6 inches.

Seriously? SMH. [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Yeah, I saw this. Imagine my shock and surprise, because Fox, and Hannity in particular, are such paragons of journalistic excellence. <---- *sarcasm*

Just to be clear...

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Unfortunately, the cough I currently have is indeed from corona. I miss the other kind.

If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart,...

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

I guess there is a different answer each of us must come to on our own. My own experience is that bitterness is like an acid, consuming the vessel that contains it from within.

If sin is the churches word for crime, then NO, I won’t forgive even after you come out of prison,...

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

The principal of my high school alma mater was credibly accused of molesting students. He retired and passed never facing any accounting, let alone justice.

Just look at 1929 after election of Herb Hoover, and 2009 after Bush left office.

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Hmmm, I'll take a swing at that one. Because they are lying, greedy, shameless shitbags?

I got snipped for nothing 😒

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Everyone feels that way when your kids are 12 or 15. Probably your folks did too. Give it time.

The plot thickens.

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Wow, that is an all-star team from the pro rock chewers league, two bananas short of a dog shit sundae. Sweet mother of pearl, mmm mmm.

I'm afraid I have some experience with this problem.

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Jpegs or it didn't happen. 😉

Strangely I haven’t seen this here before. This is so true!

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

This describes me. Always had my doubts, but looking at it closely in exogesis, comparative history, and comparative religion courses in college (at a Jesuit university no less) really cemented it for me.

23andme is a fake, rip-off scam website.

zeuser comments on Jan 22, 2022:

Um... who wants to tell him?

I guess they are all just kinky....

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

Now there's a pair of doozies.

Was traveling through the Badlands stopped off at Devil's Tower to camp, learned how it got its name...

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

i took a side trip with my co-workers when working in Wyoming to see it. Amazing formation.

What do you call a full Irish breakfast?........A Mick's grill! :-)

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

I call bullshit, AC. Where's the whiskey, lad?

Now that's cold.

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

Quick! Get the cock thawer!

Tell me it's not true

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

Awwww, that's a little harsh.

My wife was in the kitchen wearing only the t-shirt she slept in.

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

Clever wife. Send her flowers.

Meatloaf, an antivaxer, died today of COVID 19. Good singer, lousy intellect.

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

He had a lot of very serious co-morbidities, each of which individually could probably have proven fatal. If he decided not to vax, well that's on him, he's paid the price, and I hope he didn't infect TOO many people. He was 74. I never really "got" his music, but he made a lot of people happy, so that's not a bad legacy. At any rate, his problems are now all over with.

Which are you?

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

Hmmm, more like an okapi.

Donald Trump at 'Substantial Risk of Prosecution' in Georgia The request from Georgia prosecutors ...

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

"She's biased! She hates Trump because she's black and I'm a racist! Her poll numbers are horrible!"

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First by reflection, which is noblest; second by ...

zeuser comments on Jan 21, 2022:

I generally go with "Pay an expert to tell you", but that may fall under the "imitation" category.

What is green and sings, looks great as a garnish as well? Elvis Parsley....LOL.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny?....Where you put the cucumber.

Mitch McConnell Says Black People Vote Just as Much as ‘Americans’ [thedailybeast.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

Hmm, I know several people here don't like facebook, but if you can overcome that aversion for about two and a half minutes, listen to what Trae Crowder said about just this very thing. https://www.facebook.com/traecrowder/videos/451035553171849/

Suit £45, photographer, feckin' priceless!!! :-)

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

I can tell why he's not smiling, especially if she said "say cheese". Eewwww

And not to mention in a country with a broken family institution (It’s been for decades), multiple...

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

That's all this dimwit has, nerve. Let's go down the list. Intelligence? Nope. Shame? Nope. Compassion? Nope. Integrity? Nope. Work ethic? Waaaaahahahaha, nope! Competent help? Nope. Nerve? Oh my, yes.

Unsolved mystery...

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

Seriously. The shit may actually hit the fan.

When you know that karma is coming thrice around.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

It's one of those things that I wish were true. Of all the supernatural fantasy stories by which to live one's life, this seems like one of the more benign and perhaps even useful ones. But hey, c'mon, it's a supernatural fantasy.

Edit: It works! This is a must read.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

Anybody got a number for Judy Carrots? LOL, this is sad if it's legit, but hilarious otherwise.

Jabba and the slut.....

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2022:

Who is gonna be Boba in this scenario? That's who we need right now.

Donald Trump investigation reveals new details of alleged fraud: [bbc.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2022:

Letitia's got the hook set, now it's just a question of letting him run a bit and slowly reeling his lard ass in. Get the biggest net you got and the gaffe hooks, babe, this is a big one! LOL

This is so meaningful.

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2022:

Whenever I read the message inside of a fortune cookie, I always add the words "in bed". Try it, it's hilarious.

That's A Big No! 😆

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2022:

😂 Yeah, not with you though.

A Huge difference…….

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2022:

What’s the quote? The best slaves are the ones who think they are free.

I used to be a comedian, unfortunately it was not enough to pay the bills so I took up ...

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2022:

Who said that? *looks around*

News from the alternate reality.....

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

It was a tough choice between laugh and sad reaction emojis, but it IS funny. And sad too.

Ewwww!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

Honest mistake.

Think about it

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

Logical conclusion. LOL

Definitely feels like that

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

Stick to Netflix, it's more entertaining and waaay cheaper.

Have you met a person with no sense of humor?

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

I run into them on this site. Just yesterday, I made a joking response to a post about fake relics about how Judas told Jesus to sell fake foreskins as a side hustle, insinuating this was the real reason behind the 30 pieces of silver. He asked me for proof, so I told him to check the gospel of "Peter". He again didn't get it, responded in a snotty fashion that I didn't know what I was talking about and gave me a reading list! Mind you I've taken several biblical exogesis courses, but the point was I was joking. I sent him a link to a book about the 5 Elements of Humor and he pretended the link didn't work (it did, I checked it) and was just as snarky as he could be. So I told him hey, that's strike three, and I blocked his ass. Some people.

I'm with him

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

Geez, my meat would be loafing all day if that was the only other option.

You can never be sure why the job vacancy is actually there

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2022:

You should do this first. It may never come to the "check with your employers" part.

Many/most pro portrait photographers avoid the straight-ahead "mug" shot.

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

Well manicured pubes are also a key element.

My biggest problem with the idea of Heaven and Hell

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

All the christers in the audience are rubbing their hands together saying "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"

And if I ever show up in church again I hope I can be similarly attired.

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

The priest, for some reason, couldn't take his eyes off her.

Ahhh Shadddaapp!! All ya know how to do is lie boy!!

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

As useful as a back pocket on a t-shirt....

Give up and go home already you silly C.U.N.T.s....

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

Good friends with the Generalissimo, I understand.

I'd listen to him...

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

There is a time to step in and help. There is also a time to swallow hard and back away slowly.

10 year challenge.

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

The painter chopped a bunch off of the original price.

Revelations From a Trove of Trump Tax Records - NY Times [youtube.

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

Knowing someone is a crook is one thing. Finding out the magnitude and breadth of the criminal activity behind the criminal is quite another. But, as they used to teach you at Trump U., if you don't get caught, who cares?

Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will. - Vernon Howard

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2022:

My three daily goals are first, accomplish at LEAST one thing, second, have at least one good idea, and third, learn at least one thing.

Be prepared!

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

I'm all stocked up. If the power stays on, I'm riding this sucker out right here.

Looks like they've made some improvement at the entrance of Big T-urd Arizona rally

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

Shit seems to be flowing in the wrong direction.

Overheard on television this week: Q: What do you call the condition where a person has trouble ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

When we get to that part of the transaction, whatever you want to do with it is up to you. I've played my part. LOL

Or two even...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

Well, they wouldn't let my pack mule into the store.

Federal prosecutors have charged more than 700 people in more than 45 states with participating in ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

Traitorous assholes on parade. A cavalcade of drooling seditionists. A jerkoff jamboree.

Anyone use the nextdoor app or website?

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2022:

It's pretty benign where I am. Lots of pictures of local wildlife, people looking to pick up odd jobs or housecleaning gigs, things for sale, discussion of local loud noises, helicopters, traffic jams, and the occasional heartwarming story of someone who was in trouble but a neighbor helped them out. Good way to keep up with new restaurants. Very rarely do I see any overtly religious proselytizing, though it does happen. I guess it varies by where you live. I just looked - today the top 3 were 46 new things for sale, a story about 2 dogs that got hit by a car in Garner, and a question about a reported bomb threat in Apex. YMMV I guess.

He looks vaguely familiar

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2022:

'ello, ducks, remember me? *knots together a couple of pillow cases*

“Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really ...

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2022:

Yes, it tends to piss a lot of people off. *snicker*

For those scammers that keep coming here....

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

The "statue" of limitations, as it were. LOL

Biblical smell test.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

One woman and one woman is also wrong, by this measure. What would someone even do with 700 wives and 300 concubines? *shudders*

Far too great a laugh over this -

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Let's not make fun of what is essentially an inherited condition. Yeah, it runs in your jeans.

"Nothing is often a good thing to do, and always a clever thing to say.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Doing nothing is always an option. Saying nothing is always an option. Sometimes, these are the best options, other times not. The "often" and "always" qualifiers are value judgments that mess up what would have been a true, but banal, assertion.

There goes lunch

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Free range chicken, cajun free.

Trickle down obsequiousness

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Dickus -a -um.

Did as instructed

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Picture of John Denver? That should be ok.

A strange time to make a call.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

That's a shitty neighborhood.

You are invited. Turmeric bath for brides and grooms is a must in a Hindu marriage ceremony.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

I hear it spices up the relationship. It is just one component of trying to curry favor.

size don't matter?

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

This is NOT how wishful thinking usually works out.

I really hope this vermin dies [queerty.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Embarrassingly, he fat-shamed himself to deflect.

Ark Encounter Adds Baptimal Log Flume Ride!

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Good satire.

Yep……how true it is.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Fuck, really?!

I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible. Because I am an eighth theist.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Mmmmm, ok, ok.

Just a few pieces of hard evidence, is that so much to ask for in exchange for believing the Xstian ...

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Well, to be fair, selling fake foreskins was a very lucrative side hustle for "the Christ". He made quite a few dinars pushing his "messiah skins" to unsuspecting Samaritans, who were very gullible about shit like this, When we think about Judas and the thirty "pieces" of silver, we have to wonder, what were those "pieces", exactly? Spoiler: It was Judas taking over the franchise. Eventually, though, Judas, much like Jeffrey Epstein, was "found hanged". Ya hum. Sure. Follow the smegma!

The net is slowly closing in on Team Trump: [abc.net.au]

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Twenty years is a light sentence, IMHO. Still, let them all go in and learn how to barter for a cake of soap.

King of the Trumpanzees.

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Hannity is an apparatachik putz. Joseph Goebbels without the accent and slightly better skin.

WOW!!!! Lol!!! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

I doubt that.

Trump Roasts ‘Gutless’ DeSantis for Keeping His Booster Status a Secret [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Wow, two stiff swingin dicks "swordfighting".

Explains everything.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Switch to the mini-usb. It might help a little.

OMCHEEZUS!!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Looks like the poor kid took a dominus right up his vobiscum.

Eyes glued to smartphones.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

I'd come back with my gear for that trout. Before the damn eagle gets him. ;)

This has got to be a joke but it seems real [dissentpins.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Gotta love that entrepreneurial spirit.

"There's none so blind as those who will not see" John Heywood (1497 - 1580 ) I was prompted to ...

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. - often attributed to Mark Twain.

True love right there.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

This is backwards. The wrong guy is taking it up the arse.

Now that's funny.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

You gotta be careful who you tell to "make it so".

Catholic logic!

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

OTOH, dogs rarely implicate you, although they do, um, squeal.

He's so upset

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

The truth hurts, especially if you are a traitorous asswipe bent on destroying the American republic, and then someone simply points it the fuck out. Ouch, am I right? Fuckwad?

It’s now called a “cult”.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

Yeah, that's about right. In the pre-loony tune world that you-know-who ushered in, I knew some republicans that I actually liked. I miss 'em.