Size does matter

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Why I oughta....

“Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when ...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2022:

Easy to say, hard to do.

"You will observe with concern how long a useful truth may be known, and exist, before it is ...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2022:

Even when proven wrong, people will fiercely defend beliefs they hold in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary. It is infuriating, and it is the cause of countless arguments between kids and their parents, progressives and conservatives, atheists and professed believers, and husbands and wives.

When that happens

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Lemme have some of those green jelly beans.

New study on Omicron immunity. I tested positive for COVID-19.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Take care of yourself, hon. I had covid in February. If I hadn't been vaxed, I am certain it would have killed me. Got the second booster at the start of this month. With any luck, that's the last I'll see of it. Get well soon. 💜

what the hell is wrong with you!?

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

*pinching the bridge of my nose and tightly closing my eyes*

Deposition Transcript Reveals Trump Fear Of Flying Fruit [youtube.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Dangerous fruit, eh?

Good morning!!! Another meme dump!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2022:

What kind of music do they play?

I hope he keeps trying to make that Truth Social shit show work instead

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Is this asshole back already?

Now I can't unsee it. 😆 (What is the rabbit doing there, btw?)

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Rabbit are pretty randy, and well, this guy does have an armful of pussies.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is back on the hot seat, falsely testifying again...

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

She should be in jail. If she pulled that shit in Russia, she would be, or she would be murdered.

I will wait

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Good opportunity to work on your long distance accuracy.

oh looks cool

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

Sperm bank?

And that was the day she decided she didn't want to live in the sticks anymore.

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

It's a good idea regardless, you know?

My kind of diet food...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

This guy has marketing in his or her blood.

The car yes

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

I don't think Mopar is set up for that.

Who remembers the “Double Dog Dare”?

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

Priorities. The kid is a leader.

No starch...

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

No starch, thanks.

Always wanted a garage....

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

Nice to see drive-ins making a comeback.

Legitimate political discourse lynching

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

They would have killed his ass for all the wrong reasons. That isn't justice, unfortunately, that's just murder.

It happens

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

The older you get, the more it's "I came earlier than they said, I saw, I took off."

Near the core of religious experience is something remarkably resistant to rational inquiry.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Well yeah, by definition.

I'm not sure about that.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Um, I think we might still have a pretty good idea.

Sooo much Winning..😂😂😂 [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

She'll never see a dime.

Spot the difference

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Two very different "hide the kielbasa" challenges.

Tombstone Special

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

We only live on in the memory of people who don't forget us after we expire. Once those people all die, it's a question of what other people can read on a tombstone.

Happy Saturday!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

I admit it! I'm running with it! LOL

I hope this works. [scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net]

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2022:

Jesus, feeling around: Where the fuck did I put my foreskin?

Best door mat ever....

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2022:

All we need is cold pizza and we have all the major food groups.

Get some before it's 2 late!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2022:

When you think about it, they didn't have wine either. I volunteer to follow up on that.

“The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made.” George Burns

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2022:

Classic Burns.

Have you ever asked a Christian?

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2022:

I bet the answer would be "Because god is tricky like that." And the correct answer "the painters were painting fiction" would never come up.

Totally Unfair

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

I've been to plenty of shitty parties, so I can see where the right venue might make a difference. LOL

A shame, really...

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

R2, I told you what would happen when you started putting that garbage into your crankcase.

What will they think of next?

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

Maybe Tuck is getting a per product commission for every ball tanner they sell, like George Foreman gets on each grill they sell.

Wow, you don't see that every day...

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

Hey, if it's free....

“Life has no meaning a priori - it is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but ...

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2022:

I remember slogging through "Being and Nothingness" in my college phenomenology class. After plowing through Heidegger and Husserl, Sartre was surprisingly conversational in his philosophical writings.

Members, don't do that

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

No you're not, you fucking fraud.

Honestly, worshiping the sun god seems like a better deal than worshiping the Judeo-Christian god.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

That's great and I go along with the Aztecs, up to the "cut your heart out while you are still alive human sacrifice" part. Compare and contrast to the "kill ALL the heathens genocide" the conquistadors have up their armored sleeves. No clear winner here, IMHO.

What are you most proud of?

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Great achievements, you should indeed be proud. 💜

Merika.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

I smell some bullshit here. He won't give a complete list of the books he banned and he won't say what passages led to the banning. This is an excuse for Florida to buy textbooks from the "governor's" supporters, and something tells me he is somehow getting a cut. This isn't finished yet. I put "governor" in quotation marks because this guy is closer to a cult leader or a mafia don, and not a governor in the classic sense of working for all of his constituents.

So many fails...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

*Somebody* has to make those videos.

Harmony...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

I dunno, sounds a little tinny to me.

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success”…………….Christopher Lasch.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

A variation of the theme "there is a sucker born every minute".

The pattern is always the same……

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

My late dad always said the republicans were nothing but shills for the wealthy. He was right.

interesting design

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Now I believe in transparency, but there is a time and a place for it, you know?

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the ...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

That's how those angels think.

Just a few I picked up along the way.

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Good batch. ;)

Democrats are good guys

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

That sounds like the kind of projection we get from our own American taliban. I recognize the gaslighting technique and the distortion and twisting of facts to fit the narrative. And, BTW, we wasted your ass a while ago. Good job, OBL. Rest in hell (which I reeeeally wish existed just for you) you prick.

Kim Jong-Un is passing over

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

That pudgy little fuck ain't rollin' back no bigass tomb blocking stone.

Ugh!!! Monday!!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Hey! You promised not to tell that story about me and the prostitute!

FL school board member admits prayer resolution is about "God and Jesus Christ"

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Once you stop indoctrinating children and start actually educating them, membership slowly shrinks and donations dry up.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :-D

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Once, back when I was married, my then wife asked, "What are you thinking?" I responded, "I don't think. I know." To which she responded, "Well, we agree. I don't think you know either."

Hey, get your mind out of the gutter!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

A shocking story!

enter me lord

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Make sure you have an exit strategy first. Ugh.

I am w the cat on this 😂🦇 Nothing makes me happier at 0600 , wrapping up time , than walking ...

zeuser comments on Apr 18, 2022:

Just like that doggo, I bet your team secretly likes it. ;)

Easter Special

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2022:

The last ten words of Jesus: "Hey Judas, I can see your house from up here!"

Why the eggs were late this morning

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2022:

Ouch! Rabbit punch!

Gross, but it sounds like they got what they asked for.

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2022:

Well, if it's a cheese cake, then this is what you'd expect.

Happy Egg Day!

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2022:

He's not that sweet.

Am I alone in thinking that sooner the Putin the Putrid is slowly strangled to death the better?

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2022:

Fast, slow, strangled, shot, drowned, I don't care. Just off the sumbitch.

“I realised that if my thoughts immediately affect my body, I should be careful about what I ...

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2022:

As long as she doesn't sing. ;)

Friday night memes! 😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

I love you! ❤️❤️

Religious bullshit doesn't work very well in modern warfare.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

Ooo, if someone can salvage that bitch, sell it for 60 mill, am I right? They've already proven themselves to be stupid enough the first time, do it!

Need to trust my instincts on this man.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

Um, I think you already know what to do here. Better luck next time, yeah?

I keep telling my sister NOT to order items off Facebook ads.....

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

She will ignore you once she gives them a try.

Two problems here

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

Hey, that's my pal! Claude Bawls!

Getting ready for a Friday night out with the boys.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

You gonna shoot, you need ammo.

A little weird here

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

Foreshadowing?

This is a real sign in front of an Oklahoma Baptist Church.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

My answer to this question is the reason my right hand is better than the right hand of god. LOL At least to me. Heh.

Well it's a good Friday.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

For Grandpa, that is 2 bucks well spent. LOL

So true, so true....

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

Don't tell that to the otherfuckers.

A dying man's last wish An elderly man lay dying in his bed.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

Oooo, that is nasty.

Donnie keeps getting bad news.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2022:

NBC waited until just now to do that? Really?

I apologize .

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2022:

Never apologize for humor. People laugh or they don't. These are funny!

Why didn't anyone think before?

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2022:

As they say, the bigger the cushion.....

What do you call this?

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2022:

Jesus' brother, "Big Dick" Christ.

My mom had another stroke and was in the hospital again, I need to laugh, hopefully you'll laugh ...

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2022:

Sorry to hear about your mom, hang in there! <3

Totally unfair Xavier

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2022:

Clean butt, clean coochie.

…….And hopefully one day he’ll BURN.

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2022:

Looks like he's, um, in-bread.

God works in mysterious ways.

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

It's a miracle. In a sense.

Extra Crispy or Original Recipe?

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

Honestly, here in NC we go for BoJangles. Far superior. Free sweet tea with every meal order.

A bed design

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

Makes a statement via inference. Big feet.....

Yeah, I know... I'm the one who needs a muzzle. 😆

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

I can relate.

Well He does work in mysterious ways.

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

Well, you have to take into account the learning curve and the switch to larger scale. LOL

Self Imagining

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

The larger portion of the population see themselves through the lens of low self-esteem. That's a problem that doesn't get enough attention.

"Authorities also confirmed that anyone who found such "combat trophies" did not need to declare ...

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

One of the first principles you learn in studying economics is that people respond to incentives. So the Ukies got this one right, they incentivize more tank and equipment reclamation.

Same with Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka……

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2022:

Money laundering operations ultimately don't need to be profitable, just move cash.

The zipper goes in the front Donald!

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

Yellow in front, brown in the back.

I have recently lost my beloved daughter to suicide.

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing will ever fill the hole inside you that you feel, though time will let you think of it less often. It will always hurt. It is hard not to blame yourself, but DON'T. Everyone grieves in their own way and their own time. That is a path you will walk alone. *hugs* If you can, reach out to grieve with others who knew and loved your daughter. Share your memories and your stories. If you can, help others who may be facing the problems your daughter faced. Either personally or through organizations. Take your time, though. There is no need to rush. You can talk to us here, we are here for you if you don't have anyone else to talk to. My wish of peace to you, and may harmony find you.

Absolutely factual...

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

Can't hurt to toss it in the gumbo.

Curious...

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

A bargain at twice the price.

From the mouth of babes! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

Come on, "pull my finger" is classic dad humor.

Things are about to get a whole lot nastier in Ukraine: [abc.net.au]

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

Yeah, that's what they have left. That's all they ever had.

Makes sense.

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2022:

Spock always nails it, doesn't he?

I don't care who you are, that there is funny.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2022:

On the flip side, I like my women like I like my scotch, 15 years old and mixed up with coke.

So the Russians who looted Chernobyl could end up dying of radiation poisoning.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2022:

I guess this is all fake news right up until your hair falls out in clumps and you can't digest any food. Dumbasses.

Where is he going?

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2022:

Wherever he goes, here he comes!

Smarter then your average viewer...

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2022:

I wonder what tips this guy off...

Honesty is the best policy

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2022:

It pays to advertise.